good thing life is a cabaret only a cabaret and I love a cabaret

Honest to godsmack I know I’m the minority in caring about politics but how do we even deal with shit like this

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LET’S HAVE A CONCLAVE

(okay no, but put in the tags something youre the unofficial influencer of. Like something youve purchased enough, used enough, bragged about and endorsed enough to others that you should be an influencer for)

ill never stop being democracy pilled ive got that give me liberty or give me death dog in me even if my fellow americans took theirs out back and shot it

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Following the events of last week, in which a crazed western lowland gorilla ruthlessly murdered 21 people in a local shopping plaza after escaping from the San Diego Zoo, sources across the country confirmed Thursday that national gorilla sales have since skyrocketed.

“After seeing yet another deranged gorilla just burst into a public place and start killing people, I decided I need to make sure something like that never happens to me,” said 34-year-old Atlanta resident Nick Keller, shortly after purchasing a 350-pound mountain gorilla from his local gorilla store. “It just gives me peace of mind knowing that if I’m ever in that situation, I won’t have to just watch helplessly as my torso is ripped in half and my face is chewed off. I’ll be able to use my gorilla to defend myself.”

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i think if twitter went down, TV writing would get at least 30% better

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It’s all solving problems at the end of the day

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