Finally sat down and listened to the new song. My silly words are here if you’d like to read, but of course there’s no pressure. If you just scroll on by, I hope you have a good day today.
I’m… surprised I’m happy? After hearing it. I think that’s how I’m feeling, at least. It’s not a giddiness or me jumping around in joy, but there’s a kind of, um. Candlelight flicker among the darkness that was surrounding me as I was thinking about it? Like a light came on once I finally looked and checked it out for myself.
I’m unsure how to word it properly and I don’t really know how to without going on a long-winded ramble, but I had some thoughts before I heard the song based on what people were saying, the anxieties I saw swirling about, thoughts of guilt and anger amongst the pointing fingers and the reality of what a sharp rise to fame can do to, well, anyone. I saw so many different opinions and I’m not here to dismiss any of them, or say one is wrong. Music is wonderful and powerful, loving and harsh, not just in its creation but in the context we give it. I don’t want to dismiss anyone’s thoughts here.
I just want to say that, well… it’s a song I’m glad exists. I’m glad he trusts people to hear it. That despite its content, or context - I don’t want to comb through why it exists, or say I’m glad any negative things happened so the pain can produce more because that is the furthest thing from the truth for me.
It’s just that I’m grateful that the song “Caramel” exists.
Caramel is sweet as a concoction in it’s nature. You can put things in it, like salt, to change the taste and make it more complex. And it can burn, scorch, and stick - it can make a right mess of a kitchen, of someone’s clothes, hands. It’s temperamental and not set in stone, at least not while you’re stirring it in the pot. But it’s not always a mess.
If you’re patient with it and respect the process - and, in this case, that respect is to him and the others as performers and as people, as well as yourselves as fans of the music and individuals with flaws, personalities, all that makes people who they are - it might turn out okay, in the end.
I could be off with this, of course. I’m just glad the song exists.
At the end of the day, this is still the same person who held out a “You are so loved” sign back to the crowd when it was given to him. Who smiles with his bandmates and makes puzzles for fans to put together instead of just having radio silence before a tour. Who made III hand-signs with us when III was out, seemingly shocked and moved at the support and wanted to support us back as people who were worried about someone they care for or admire. Who wrote “I’ve been waiting to share this with you” on Spotify when Emergence dropped.
Strife and anxiety and guilt are all-consuming emotions and they can weight heavy on you, on your tongue sticking like sweet candy to where you can’t get it off. And it can be sweet enough to hurt if it lingers but, with patience, it can be brushed away, picked off, tended to.
It’s not forever and the downsides of fame and infamy aren’t forever. I’m glad he was able to write this and share this, even if the concept of it is bittersweet - but again, I’m not him. I can’t say it should or shouldn’t exist as a song much like I can’t and won’t say people can’t feel a certain way about it. But I hope it’s okay to say that as someone who creates things too that it’s good it exists.
And I hope it’s okay to say that I hope it was cathartic for him and for how he may or may not feel as someone who has skyrocketed to fame. Again, please don’t take this as I’m glad he’s suffering so there’s more music because that is the furthest damn thing from the truth. At the end of the day, I’m just a dork on the internet who likes his music and is still terrified of speaking on here, so I hope all of this was okay to share and makes sense.
Caramel takes time. And it’s okay to have it salty, bitter, or sweet. There’s times for all flavors and even if it isn’t your preference for whatever reason, it’s good to accept the choice and respect it. Respect the making of it and the one who spent hours of time and patience on it.
I’ll end here to save my brain from spinning in circles. If you read any of this, thank you so much. I hope it made sense.
Please take care of yourselves, everyone.
