Romantic De-prioritization and Aromantic Resonances in History
An Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week project
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“Representation” is a major theme in ace and aro communities, and it’s usually used to mean fictional characters. That’s all well and good, but the emphasis on the power of fictional narratives sometimes leaves me feeling a little empty. While it’s definitely refreshing and empowering to see characters going through the same things I am, sometimes I think… their happy ending isn’t real, it’s because an author decided that they should have one and then created a world in which they could.
I’ve felt most
uplifted and empowered by histories of real people living the kind of
life I wanted, being able to point to them and say, “See, THEY did it,
THEY had the same priorities and feelings I do, and they went on to have
the non-romantic life I want and they became
important/respected/brilliant/supported/loved anyway.” With a sense of
both that, it was done at different times in the past when mores were
different; and not only that, when in some ways it was harder. If
they could do it, I can do it too. I felt represented. And I want more of
that out there.
Over the course of Aro Week, I’ll be presenting mini-biographies of people who never married, never expressed romantic desire, or otherwise de-prioritized romance in their lives. I can’t necessarily claim they were definitely aromantic; we can’t know that, and they didn’t name their identities that way. But they made their way in the world aromantically, and were inspirational and resonant on my own aromantic journey.
