devilishdescent

airplanes should play videos of meat processing basically nonstop with no means of volume control or turning off the screen

fallingtowers

airplanes should be made of meat and they should groan in pain as the pilot flogs them with a cruel barbed lash to make them go

Anonymous asked

one time my dick got stuck in the conditioner bottle

delmondo

and then you could not get it off and you were too embarrassed to go to doctor/hospital so eventually your poenis grew to fit the shape of the bottle and 20 years later when they Dremel it off you have what is essentially a club shaped penis that you can drive nails in with and shit so you get hired at a construction cumpany and everyone thinks you are a novelty and put these ideas in your head about being a youube sensation and so you tell your story to millions online and then you have a catchophrase and a media empire and do reaction video and relate your every thought, as you pause the videom, to your club penis

transgenderer

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im not sure why i find this so soothing. it's like. idk, a koan or something, running my mind through it feels like it smooths it out. they are both evil for being alive

hungwy

you have to admit it: most if not all animals are very brave. they do a lot of things and dont always know whats going to happen. they have beautiful eternal souls because of this

balaclava-trismegistus

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Sonic's burger store has recognized the strategic importance of America's drink infrastructure and implemented tamper seals to prevent your large Diet Dr. Pepper being poisoned by ISIS lone wolfs or seditious court advisors

1hoverman0k

my lichen got wicked mad at me after i accidentally cave it pneumonia and whupping cough and wont eat and drink no more and keeps cussing me out

1hoverman0k

i keep putting crushed up fritos on it to make it go away