𝐀𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐰𝐧
☆ Genre: Domestic, fluff, angst
☆ Warnings: None
☆ Characters: Chan, Y/N
☆ Word Count: 2.8k
Barely teetering on the cusp of early morning, the sky was a rich violet when Y/N quietly slipped out of bed. She had been awake for nearly an hour now and sleep seemed to float further and further away from her like smoke; her husband was fast asleep, his arms still outstretched towards her frame, and the remnants of the steady warmth that had poured out from his fingertips was still aglow at the curve of her hip where they had rested.
Y/N's lips curved up in the darkness as she admired him for a moment. Chan's eyelashes were a dark dusting of cocoa against his fair skin, and his soft lips all the more plumped up with the current of sleep. Slivers of moonlight trickled through the small gaps in the curtains and caused the scatter of freckles across his nose and cheekbones to glow like icy stars, each contour and smooth plane of his muscular physique turned into intricate marble amongst the bedsheets. His bare chest rose and fell in slow beats, his face vulnerable in the gentle grip of his slumber, and Y/N couldn't resist herself from leaning down and lightly caressing his jaw with her hand, relishing the familiar grain of his skin beneath her touch. She gently pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek before pulling away. He stirred ever so slightly, his delicate fingers curling up a little as they rested against the warm sheets Y/N had just vacated. There was a biting nip to the air, and Y/N shivered as it wove itself around her ankles. She grimaced at the chill that instantly seeped through the soles of her feet, Y/N immediately hunted around for the nearest pair of fluffy socks. She slipped her feet into them before wrapping her soft nightgown around herself like a weighted blanket.
Padding down the hallway, Y/N's touch was gentle as she pushed open the door to her son's bedroom. The fifteen year old was fast asleep, the long arms Noah had inherited from his father dangling over the edge of the bed, his dark curls poking out from beneath the duvet. Y/N smiled at the sight of him, and she shut the door quietly again before popping her head into Sky's room, the girl an undignified heap huddled up to the wall, almost as if she was trying to hug it in her sleep. The sight made Y/N giggle under her breath, and she covered her lips with her fingers, the chill in her chest from the wintery air thawing as she carried the image of her family with her and down into the kitchen.
Flicking the switch of the kettle, Y/N dropped a tea bag into her favourite mug and leaned against a counter as she waited for the water to boil. The lighting downstairs was dim, the soft glow from the LEDs around the cupboard and beneath the kitchen counters casting slowly changing colours across each of the surfaces. It was calming, the gentle blue warping as Y/N lifted her kettle and poured the water into her mug.
With her tea warming her hands, Y/N made her way to the glass doors leading out into the garden. She seated herself at the edge of the deck, the wood iced beneath but the mug in her fingers softening the sting of it. Eyes falling shut briefly, Y/N inhaled, and the early morning breeze filled her nose, her senses, the scent invigorating and fresh with the faintest hint of dew already threaded through. When she opened her eyes again, Y/N tipped her head up, and she smiled as her gaze landed on the stars that twinkled in their mystical greeting.
There had been a time when Y/N had barely allowed herself to dream of a future like the one she was living in. There had been a time when the idea of basking in the time before dawn purely because she wanted rather than her being forced to after waking to chaos, was beyond delusional. Even then, the world around her brought Y/N more comfort than she was accustomed to. Y/N had always found beauty in the things that others ignored - there was a fondness in her heart for this time of day, the eerie stillness that teetered between the end of the night and the beginning of the morning, and how it held magic, a magic so nearly invisible that one had to tune every sense so finely to be able to feel it. It was silent, to most ears. But Y/N could hear every blade of grass rustling, their colour like shards of deep emeralds under the dark sky. She could hear the early waking of birds, high up in the tallest of trees. She could hear the soft pitter patter of tiny creatures running across the grounds and burying themselves in the dirt; Y/N wasn't alone, with the awareness that she had. She had learnt to fall in love with the world's secrets, something her heart had gravitated to ever since she was a child. She had spent most sleepless nights curled up by the window of her bedroom, her gaze fixed on the world outside as she yearned for a life better than the one she had, wished and hoped for the bleakness of her days to end. She wanted nothing more than to fall asleep at the end of every day with a lack of tears seeping into her pillow, and to wake without the looming threat of anxiety coiling itself around her like a snake.
And when it had finally happened, Y/N hadn't quite believed it. Her mind hadn't allowed herself to - surely it was a dream, a hallucination to taunt her further. She had known nothing but the darkest of days for most of her life, and the worst of people who had spent all of their time shattering the fragile shell of her being, over, and over again. And it had felt like Y/N had lived more lifetimes than just one in the time she had spent in that darkness. But when it was over, it was as though it was over in the blink of an eye, and for the longest time Y/N couldn't wrap her head around it.
The tea she sipped was milky, the sweetness of the black tea leaves soothing her throat and her chest and her mind as her fingers tightened on the handle. Her other hand traced the grooves on the wood she was sitting upon, the gentleness around her caressing the skin of her neck with a kiss from the wind.
“Ah … there you are,” a husky voice cut through the quietude and settled itself right over Y/N's heart. “I was looking for you.”
Y/N didn't need to turn around to acknowledge her husband; Chan was at her side in an instant, an extraordinary amount of warmth radiating off of his body as he settled down on the edge of the deck, his shoulder brushing against hers. His cheeks were flushed from sleep, his eyes glossy, and he winked sleepily at his wife when she tilted her head towards him.
Wordlessly, Y/N held her mug out to him. Chan accepted it with a soft grin, and after sipping the warm beverage, he sighed with satisfaction, the tea slipping through him like a hug.
“Everything okay?” Chan hummed as he handed her mug back, the backs of his fingers going to gently caress the chilled skin of Y/N's cheek.
Y/N nodded. “Couldn't sleep.”
“Me neither,” Chan said.
Raising an eyebrow at him, Y/N's lips began to curve upwards. “You were fast asleep when I left.”
“And then I woke up,” Chan chuckled. “‘Cause you weren't there.”
He reached for her tea again, his calloused fingers kissing hers as he did so. It made Y/N shiver, and she automatically shuffled a little closer to him, the full length of her arm flat against his.
“What did you put in this?” Chan asked, swallowing a large sip of sea. “It tastes so … good.”
“It's just normal tea,” Y/N started to laugh.
“Really?” He pressed the mug into her hand again. “Hm. Must be because you drank from the mug first.”
At that, Y/N shook her head, her face glowing with a grin as she stared into her mug. “Want me to make you some?”
“Nah. Maybe later,” Chan sighed happily, turning his gaze away and fixing it onto the sky above. His face was one of gentle bliss as he cocked the constellations, his eyes narrowing in concentration as he deciphered which ones they were.
Y/N watched as his eyes moved from one golden star to an icy blue one. Under the shadows, his eyes were dark, and they glittered with tiny galaxies of his own as they moved to and fro across the night sky. The sharp curve of his throat was fully exposed before disappearing into his hoodie, and his hair tickled his ears and nape of his neck as the wind blew across them both, making them shiver.
Something about the sight of him made Y/N's heart lurch. He was so enraptured by the night sky as she so often was, his lips parting in wonder before curving into a deep grin as he clocked another constellation to their right; he almost looked like a child in that moment, not an ounce of stress wandering about his frame, his posture carefree and his breathing steady, slow, as if he had all the time in the world.
He caught Y/N staring at him, and a wave of crimson spread from one ear to the next. He bit his lip, the centre of his throat bobbing as he gulped.
“What are you thinking about?” He asked her quietly, the espresso brown of his eyes disappearing as his pupils dilated.
Y/N looked down at her tea. Her eyes fell shut when her husband's hand found its way to her knee, giving it the softest of squeezes.
“I just … still find it hard to believe that this is real sometimes,” Y/N finally said, her voice as soft as his touch trailing up and down her thigh.
Chan raised an elegantly arched brow. “What part?”
“All of it,” she breathed. Through the gaps of tall trees, the sky had just barely begun to take on a lavender hue, the smallest tinge of copper melting into it. “I … being able to sit here and watch the sun come up, without having to worry that someone's going to yell at me, you know? Just … being in my own space, with … “
Her words broke off, and she stole a glance at her husband's face. She wished she hadn't; there was so much tenderness in his eyes, so much attention aimed at her as if he couldn't bear to miss a single one of her whispers, that she felt a lump form in her throat.
“I never thought I'd end up with someone like you … “ Y/N admitted.
Chan flushed. “Someone like me?”
“Someone so … kind. Gentle. Good hearted?” Y/N said around the rim of her mug. “Someone who loves me simply for being me. You … you never want anything from me. You love me because you want to and that … I know I feel the same way about you, but I still find it so hard some days to understand, you know?”
Setting the mug down in-between them both, Y/N hugged her arms around her knees. “You changed the entire trajectory of my life because you … you taught me what real love is. I used to think I'd end up in a relationship like my parents for the longest time. That that was all there was for me - that every marriage always would always end up in bitter words and anger and … hatred. And I hated the idea of being in a relationship with anyone because of it.”
Chan was quiet. It was like he had stopped breathing, her words making his heart skip a beat.
“But you … God I don't know where you came from,” Y/N exhaled, ruffling her hand through her hair. “I - I didn't know it was possible that I could feel so much happiness in my day to day life. I didn't think I'd ever have a proper family … but I do, I have you, and the kids who I love more than anything, and I … I … “
His own words catching in the base of his throat, Chan moved the mug to the other side and pulled her close. His arms slid around the woman's waist and shoulders, her head landing into the crook of her neck as he held her tightly, fiercely, like he didn't want to let go.
“My darling … “ Chan breathed against her hair, his fingers cradling the back of head as if she was the most precious thing in his hands. Her eyes watered at the term of endearment, the word rare and hitting her like a tonne of bricks, and she curled her fingers into the soft fabric of his hoodie. “I love you, baby. I love you.”
She already knew. Y/N had known a long time ago how he had really felt about her; but those three words would always cause her heart to clench, her soul to flutter deep inside of her.
“I love you,” Y/N whispered. “So much.”
Hand caressing her hair, Chan slowly moved it down her shoulders, and he swept slow circles over the middle and small of her back. “You deserve the whole entire world. And I'm always going to try my hardest to give it to you. I promise.”
“You already give me everything,” Y/N's words wobbled as she raised her face to study his familiar features, her favourite face to ever exist. “You always have.”
Smiling at that, Chan kissed the tip of her nose, leaning her forehead against hers. “You deserve even more than that, baby girl.”
His words filled her with warmth. She squeezed his hands in response before reaching for her tea again. The garden had begun to glow with the early morning colours, everything now blanketed in the rich vibrancy of magenta and auburn, the darkness very slowly vanishing, and Y/N watched quietly as the last of the stars winked out, almost waving with their departure.
“I know you already know this,” Chan said after a while, his voice like honey. “But I'm gonna say it again. You deserved to be loved properly as a child, you deserved to feel safe at home … and it isn't your fault that you weren't. It'll never be your fault. Everything that you have now … it's what you should have had from the very beginning.”
Y/N’s eyes watered. “I know,” was all she said in a small voice. Chan reached for her hands, and he clasped them firmly in his before he pressed tender kisses to the tops of her knuckles.
Silence stretched between them again, and the tea was long gone before Chan spoke again. His arms had been draped around his wife's body the entire time, and his breath was hot as he gently kissed the top of her head.
“What do you want for brekkie?” Chan hummed, his voice rumbling through his chest. Or perhaps it was his stomach, groaning with hunger, the loud sound suddenly making Y/N burst into laughter.
Chan looked sheepish. “That's wasn't me.”
“Might have been the cat, then,” Y/N giggled.
“We don't have a cat?”
“Exactly.”
Erupting into quiet chuckles of his own, Chan planted another kiss to the side of Y/N's brow. “Isn't it weird that the sun is up but it's still freezing?”
His words were accompanied by him pulling his wife closer, his smile broadening as he kissed the side of her neck.
“Are you actually cold, or do you just want an excuse to be closer to me?” Y/N mused as she cupped his face in a hand. His skin was near scorching, and it made her grin, her question answered before he even opened his mouth.
“Mmm … don't know what you're suggesting, baby,” Chan chuckled against her skin.
His stomach rumbled again, louder this time. Y/N's laughter spread throughout the garden, and it seemed as though the birds in the trees joined in with their chirping. The sound made Chan grin, and he secured his hold on her further before suddenly scooping her up into his arms just as he stood up on the edge of the deck.
“Come on … I'm hungry,” Chan sighed. He dipped his head and nuzzled his nose against Y/N's as he carried her inside.
Neither of them remembered to pick up the empty mug that was sitting on the wood. A tiny ladybird scuttled up the handle and rested briefly on its edge, and it dropped a pink flower petal into it before flying away.
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