You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.
Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.
Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.
Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.
Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now
He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.
With the acknowledgement that I’m grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn’t also 7?
See, I think that still works.
You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on “going hunting”, and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there’s a dead girl in the clearing and there’s no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she’s really pretty, Hans, and she’s all alone!
You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist’s opinion on that, and there’s no way he’s going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.
So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it’s not like the Prince can do it. He’s eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there’s a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.
This is so hard to get past but I promise you it is worth it. I went back to school at 26 and graduated at 29. I now have a great job that I love. Life doesn’t end just because you age.
I used to keep track of the different ant colonies in my yard as a child and it was the wildest shit. You could tell the difference between colonies by colors & pattern if you looked closely enough. They’d stage ant wars on the sidewalks that lasted days, just ants murdering each other, and the cleanup afterwards would last days longer as the survivors pick up and carry away the carcasses. Once I saw a war happening between the colony that lived under the berry bush and a colony I didn’t recognize, and evidently the berry colony lost, because after the war their nest site was empty… and then a few days later was inhabited by the other colony that had fought them.
Once at a lake I saw an ant travel like 3 meters across flat rock carrying a dead ant, and he kept going until he got to the cliff side and then kept going down towards the water, and he didn’t stop until he got to where the rock was wet. Then he stood there for a few seconds, dropped the corpse into the water, waited a little longer, and then headed back the way he came. I feel like I witnessed a ceremony
so what im hearing is that those ant movies from the early 2000s were entirely accurate
