Fly high and rest easy, Iceman.

I'm watching Justice League: War, and I'm sorry, but Green Lantern shielding himself and Batman in a green ball of light while Superman proceeds to kick them around Metropolis like a dodgeball is so fucking funny.

Bruce just saw the inside of three buildings go past real quick because they got punched through them by Superman, and he's relying on Hal to keep him alive. A man who a mere few hours ago accused him of being a vampire then went off on him for not having any superpowers and whose ring Bruce managed to steal with a sleight-of-hand trick to make a petty point.

His control freak issues must be screaming.

I still think he was just being Dramatic that whole fight tbh, like he had the "I know your name" trump card the whole time, he just wanted to flex his gadgets a bit and see GL get humbled before ending it.

Oh, you're 100% correct. Bruce could have ended that fight before it even started. He just wanted to play first. (Although maybe not to the extent of being punched through three buildings.)

Also, Hal wanting to be instant bros when Flash shows up is supremely funny because Flash is just a little itty bit fanboy over Batman, and the way Hal introduces him with zero enthusiasm is just:

"Oh yeah, that's Batman, he's over there."

Said in the most bored and disillusioned voice possible.

Because before, Batman was this spooky, possibly vampiric force of darkness unearthed from the depths of Gotham itself, and now he's just some guy in a mask who keeps yelling at Hal and giving him orders. And, like, who even put him in charge?

(You did, Hal. The moment you let him steal your ring in the sewers and got your ass handed to you by 'just a guy in a mask' when you tried to start shit over it.)

And then Batman, at his absolute pettiest, is polite to Flash. Shakes his hand and everything, compliments his work methods. Incredible. He's making sure he's going to live rent-free in Hal's head for the rest of his life. 'Just some guy in a mask.' Get wrecked, glowstick.

Also a huge fan of Wondie showing up and every single one of them realizing they have a sudden desire to be stepped on. Love that for them.

Guys I just refreshed the site and everyone's profile pics went round

someone could probably make a "who do you think took your boobs?" edit out of this with discord making its server icons squarer

Did they change the app or am I just stupid from dehydration and the horrors

Okay cool. Its not the horrors.

On the one hand, good to know I’m not at that stage of dehydration yet. On the other, ew.

ALT

GET GRUFFALO'D, BITCH

If you haven't heard of Julia Donaldson, she's primarily a picture book author, who we can thank for extremely popular Halloween classic Room on the Broom as well as the Gruffalo.

Let this be a testament to the power of picture books.

I'm living for these jokes.

Also I need "GET GRUFFALO'D, BITCH" on a T-shirt.

I’m not sure if this counts as a healthy coping mechanism, but every time I have a shitty interaction with a doctor or my insurance provider I open up the crackfic Deathstroke flower shop AU I started messing around with after I had a dream inspired by reading too many Nightwing comics/playing too much Garden Life simulator before bed, and I get Deathstroke to shoot the fucker.

Not fatally. Just somewhere really painful that would make you reframe how you treat chronic pain patients as “drug seeking” and hand them leaflets about mindfulness instead of offering actual help :)

Anyway. I’m having a normal one today. How are all of you?

My therapist seems to have forgotten our appointment, so I guess I'll be sitting here writing idle violence in Ellipsus for the next hour.

Mindfulness exercises in a body with chronic pain be like:

I feel all of the places I was trying to ignore are in pain. The pain will not pass. The position I'm in is uncomfortable. There isn't a comfortable position for me. Okay enough mindfulness time to focus really hard on anything else.

That’s it. That’s exactly what it’s like.

And then, if you’re me, you start disassociating to escape the pain, and then you hurt yourself worse because you’re blocking out your body, and the cycle continues.

And yet, I keep getting given mindfulness pamphlets by fucksticks. Aaaaahhhhh

I either have food poisoning or some sort of stomach bug and I have zero clue as to how I could have contracted either because we’re so careful with all of my food but uuuuuugh.

It should be illegal to get normal people sick on top of chronic sick 😭

I don’t know if this is what I have. But the moment there’s a fully approved norovirus vaccine I’m going to be first in line. I will be camped outside the door. Mouth open, arm extended, however they want to give it to me. It’ll be uncomfortable for everyone but I’m ready to never feel this way ever again.

Sweet mother of pedialyte, this is awful.

Going to attempt to eat some mashed potato lest the lack of food trigger a migraine.

Wish me well 🥲

HE BROKE THE RECORD

Senator Cory Booker just broke the all-time record for the longest Senate floor speech, speaking for over 24 hours without a pause (no food, no bathroom breaks, only water to drink) as a protest against Trump and Musk and what they're doing.

The previous record was set in 1957, when Strom Thurmond spoke for 24 hours and 18 minutes protesting the Civil Rights Act.

Senator Booker has blown past that record, currently at 25 hours and still speaking as of 8 pm local time. Respect.

imagining an alternate timeline where shakespeare wrote a play about king arthur. we would be so unwell

yeah cause thou art so well otherwise, tumblr user currently crying about Lancelot

you know what verily i deserv’d this

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I either have food poisoning or some sort of stomach bug and I have zero clue as to how I could have contracted either because we’re so careful with all of my food but uuuuuugh.

It should be illegal to get normal people sick on top of chronic sick 😭

I don’t know if this is what I have. But the moment there’s a fully approved norovirus vaccine I’m going to be first in line. I will be camped outside the door. Mouth open, arm extended, however they want to give it to me. It’ll be uncomfortable for everyone but I’m ready to never feel this way ever again.

Sweet mother of pedialyte, this is awful.