“they took pluto from you” “they took dinosaurs from you” “they took neptune from you” grow a second personality trait and stop getting upset that our understanding of the world has grown since you were in 3rd grade
They took naptime from you
would you consider yourself an intelligent and sensitive pervert?
i’ve been saving this in my inbox for months because i don’t feel like i have the words to match this. it’s a shameful breach of my humility to answer yes, yes i do consider myself an intelligent and sensitive pervert. i love how you worded that. this is like a therapist’s screening question.
honestly kudos to Elementary for gender swapping John Watson in what we all thought was an attempt to make johnlock palatable to the masses and then proceeding to not only make them entirely platonic but also become the ONLY modern adaptation where i actually feel like them being platonic makes complete sense
Good morning, please don’t slip as you enter the other dimension, I mean bathtub 💜✨ - You can get an animated wallpaper version of this for free on my Kofi! ✨Linky Poo✨
I would dearly love for more people to be capable of differentiating between public risk and personal risk.
Examples: drinking is a personal risk. Drinking and driving is a public risk. Going scuba diving is a personal risk. Running a scuba shop with faulty equipment is a public risk. Riding a bicycle without a helmet is a personal risk. Not maintaining public transport safety standards is a public risk. Foraging for mushrooms is a personal risk. Advertising a mushroom identification app that uses shoddy AI is a public risk. Elective surgery is a personal risk. Not wearing a mask in a doctor’s waiting room when you are sick with a contagious illness is a public risk.
I could go on just about forever here. But it’s a really important distinction and it drives me nuts when they get conflated, and it’s so common.
“Your Liberty To Swing Your Fist Ends Just Where My Nose Begins”
Actually, I know damn well Darcy never sat down and thought about marrying Lizzie. If he had, it would have been a week before he was rounding up Bingley, sitting him down, and looking him in the eye like he was about to propose high treason and going, “Jane. You still down bad for her?”
Coin toss whether Bingley would actually get to answer before Darcy turned around and flipped over a whiteboard like
and launched right into the most detailed migration pattern known to Regency England to keep the extraneous Bennets as contained as humanly possible by rotating them between various Bingley/Darcy estates. Like, we’re talking about trading them off for minor holidays a decade out kind of detailed.
“If you and Jane take them for Lady Day ten years hence, Elizabeth and I will take them for Michaelmas. We’ll all be together for Christmas and Midsummer, so we’ll divide the responsibility individually on those days.”
This would be followed by thirteen different spreadsheets projecting joint expenditures so Bingley knows what sort of financial commitment he’ll be shouldering and how to minimize it, what proportion Darcy will take care of, what the estate plans are in case Darcy predeceases anybody, when they should probably roll out various stages to keep it from affecting their respective sisters’ ability to maximize their own husband-hunting–whole nine yards.
Darcy does not know that he’ll probably be murdered when the Bingley sisters find out why he asked for their social calendars. He’d be marginally fine with that at this point, because the fucking Napoleonic War campaigns were not as meticulously planned as his roadmap to getting the other three Bennets satisfactorily married, and Darcy feels about as able as if he’d spent the last year on Elba.
It takes Bingley a few minutes to realize why this is happening, then he’s like
“You proposed to Elizabeth?! Congratulations!”
Darcy… knew there was something he was forgetting.
That man would have kicked the Collins’s door open with four binders tucked under each arm, dumped them in a pile in front of Elizabeth, and loudly announced that if they get married tomorrow he can have her entire family except for Jane extraordinary renditioned to the Scottish moors by Sunday and then been like
“Why are you yelling at me?! I promise you, it will work! You’ll never see anyone in your family except for Jane again, I swear it!” when she starts yelling at him.
Anonymous
