Whenever I poop on the clock, I hang my drop gun on the bathroom door. The idea is, after about two hours, when the manager comes to force me off the toilet, i can blow them away with my edc .460 raging hunter. Using the lingering residue of confused and frightened vital energy, their falling corpse will reflexively grasp at the smith and wesson 442 i have strategically defaced and committed a series of murders with. I learned this trick from my uncle whos a cop. All said and done, I have gunned down the crazed pervert who has electrified this small community with total fear. The mayor gives me a key to the city and declares a holiday in my name. I press for a cash prize because he's too much of a pussy to say no in front of everyone at the ceremony. I move along to another town with a single mcdonalds and a population of less than 3,000. I have done this eight times.

This one is fron like 10 years ago in Syria and apparently worked pretty well for urban flanking