Haters do not know about my whimsical and luxurious worms and caterpillars fabric that I’m going to use to make a tote bag to carry my books home from the library in. Because of the bookworm pun. We can’t let the haters find out about this. Are you listening? If the haters find out, I’m fucked.
Not to go “if you have ADHD just go for a run” or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you’ve had enough. Not until you get bored, until you’ve had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn’t low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you’re real and best of all it’s completely free
I really wish more ADHD mental health care told you WHY things like this matter to our quality of life.
The Hyperactivity in Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is NOT about being physically hyperactive, it’s about having a “hyperactive central nervous system” because it’s a form of inheritable dysautonomia. The problem with disautonomia, especially the ADHD kind, is that it makes boredom flag to your nervous system as a THREAT, triggering hyperactive and maladaptive central nervous system processes like fight or flight.
But dysautonomia kills you that way. Literally, part of the reason our average life spand increase on stimulents is that it helps manage risk-taking impulsivity that can get us killed by accident, but the other part is that stimulents can regulate a hyperactive CNS such that it is functionally (while impacted by the stimulent) NOT dysregulated anymore. And PHYSIOLOGICALLY that is essential because the physical outcomes of dysautonomia can reduce your life span by YEARS if not decades through self-perpetuating hypervigelence, endocrine disruption, and adrenal fatigue.
So when the ADHD brain goes stimulation-seeking and a doctor tells you to practice mindfulness, it feels like being told “hey go stand in a functioning boiler until you can stop thinking” rather than WHAT IT IS which is the process of re-teaching your body what is and isn’t safe.
Standing outside making mindful, non-interpretive/moralized observation of the world helps your brain and body re-acclimate to the idea that absence of that frantic “busy” feeling isn’t a threat or a risk to your safety, and gradually reduces the level of distress that just hanging out somewhere triggers for you.
Learning WHY this stuff was being suggested and understanding what it was actually supposed to do went a long way towards changing my relationship with my ADHD. I am FAR more functional now, far less prone to shame spirals and rejection sensitivity, hell, I can **sit physically still for near on an hour at a time** now without feeling like I’m going to crawl out of my skin.
So yeah. Go outside. Let the world narrow around you and take deep breaths until it stops feeling claustrophobic or like you need to climb walls. Learn how to let little sensations become big ones like the way the heat of the sun on your skin starts as a gentle warming and be omes a unique collection of sensory moments depending on how it lands on you. Listen for sounds under sounds and let them fade in and out as you move your focus from one sound to the next. Enjoy. Move on. Rinse and repeat.
When you no longer feel like the world is actively killing you, it’s a lot easier to navigate it.
S++ tier addition to the post, thank you tumblr user butts bouncing on the beltway
Who knows where a woman begins and ends? Listen, mistress, I have roots, I have roots deeper than this island. Deeper than the sea, older than the rising of the lands. I go back into the dark. I go back into the dark! Before the moon I was. No one knows, no one knows, no one can say what I am, what a woman is, a woman of power, a woman’s power, deeper than the roots of trees, deeper than the roots of islands, older than the Making, older than the moon. Who dares ask questions of the dark? Who’ll ask the dark its name?
-Ursula K. Le Guin, Tehanu
“I will,” Tenar says. “I lived long enough in the dark.”
^^exactly.
from the “Tehanu” afterword, from Ursula K Le Guin herself:
“It’s not surprising that Tehanu was labeled "feminist”. But the word is used so variously that it’s worse than useless. If you see feminism as vindictive prejudice against men, this label lets you dismiss the book unread; if you see feminism as a belief in superior properties unique to women and expect the book to confirm that belief, you’ll find it equivocal.
The conversation between Tenar and the witch Moss in the fifth chapter is a case in point. Is it “feminist”? Moss is pretty contemptuous of men in general, having been treated by them with contempt all her life. That’s all right, and I find her discussion of men’s power and women’s power harsh, incomplete, but interesting. Then she goes off an incantory praise of mysterious female knowledge: “Who knows where a woman begins or ends?…I have roots, I have roots deeper than this island….I go back into the dark!” And she ends with a rhetorical question – “Who’ll ask the dark its name?”
“I will,” Tenar says. “I lived long enough in the dark.”
I’ve often seen Moss’s rhapsody quoted with approval. Tenar’s fierce answer almost always goes unquoted, unnoticed. Yet it refuses Moss’s self-admiring mysticism. And all Tenar’s life is in it.“
(emphasis mine)
“But I didn’t and still don’t like making a cult of women’s knowledge, preening ourselves on knowing things men don’t know, women’s deep irrational wisdom, women’s instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on. All that all too often merely reinforces the masculinist idea of women as primitive and inferior – women’s knowledge as elementary, primitive, always down below at the dark roots, while men get to cultivate and own the flowers and crops that come up into the light. But why should women keep talking baby talk while men get to grow up? Why should women feel blindly while men get to think?”
…
“Moss is saying what a masculinist society wants to hear women say. She’s proudly claiming the only territory men leave to women, the primitive, the mysterious, the dark. And Tenar is refusing to be limited to that. She lays claim to reason, knowledge, thought, she claims not only the dark but also the daylight as her own.
Tenar speaks for me in that passage. We’ve lived long enough in the dark. We have an equal right to daylight, an equal right to learn and teach reason, science, art, and all the rest. Women, come on up out of the basement and the kitchen and the kids’ room; this whole house is our house. And men, it’s time you learned to live in that dark basement that you seem to be so afraid of, and the kitchen and the kids’ room too. And when you’ve done that, come on, let’s talk, all of us, around the hearth, in the living room of our shared house. We have a lot to tell each other, a lot to learn.”
Ursula K. Le Guin in essay "What Women Know” (found in book Words Are My Matter)
