i know it's necessary for the plot but it says a LOT about mad eye moody's personal relationships (and lack thereof) that no one realizes he was locked up in a trunk and impersonated for a whole school year. like Dumbledore is supposed to be his friend and misses it! and then he just goes back to working for dumbledore's paramilitary group like nothing happened happy to let himself be used as a tool. now with Dumbledore I think that's both sides being bad at emotional closeness but like. it's not just with noted intimacy avoider Albus d it's with everyone he knows. his paranoia means he can never be close to anyone. he's too afraid of intimacy because it means people can hurt him. but it turns out you can also be hurt by never letting anyone truly know you. mad eye makes himself a caricature of himself and Barty is able to play that outward shell so well no one realizes the inside is missing.

when i’m in pretty boy drawing competition and my opponent is a russian or ukrainian artist

the 16 year old puritan twitter user stuck in my head who yells at me if i don't conform to unattainably high standards of moral purity says it's ageist for me to imagine them as a 16 year old

Transfem Sirius~ oh the woman she is

the author's barely disguised open wound splattered livid and filthy across everything they create

Everything began upon @snapey's request and what I thought was going to be a tricky but fun dive into Headcanon territory became a full on fascinating (and frankly a tad depressing) deep dive into Hogwarts and 1970's social classes living conditions.

Because what Severus Snape might enjoy eating as an adult or as a teen would be influenced firstly by his childhood and oh boi put your seatbelts on my little rats.

- So, a bit of context first -

Snape grew up in the slums in the 60s. His family was from the working-class and we canonly know they didn't have much money (Severus didn't have his own clothes as a child), and so they might not had much to eat either. And the Snapes weren't just working-class poor, they were dirt-poor (go here if you want to see photos of what the slums could look like back then). Living in the slums was not a choice. We're talking people working for a desperately low wage and barely making by. They were stuck there, at the bottom of the social and economic chain, living in incredibly difficult conditions.

So we're talking homemade meals, sometimes only once a day or none at all. Cheap vegetables (potatoes, carrots, beans, greens etc), a cheap cut of meat sometimes, tinned soup or meat, sometimes sausages. They had to make it last as long as possible and of course never let anything go to waste. Sometimes when he got hungry, he'd only get beans on toast or buttered sandwiches with cheap white bread. No sweets, no snacks for the whole day. Sometimes he just went hungry. He was familiar with the sensation of an empty stomach.

It's possible that he learned to chew very slowly from that time, to trick his mind and stomach into thinking he was eating more that he truly was.

One can wonder if he went to muggle primary school. It's hard to say if there was one near Spinner's End or if maybe his mother homeschooled him. It could make sense if he went as it would mean getting one (even bad) free meal that day. We're talking pies and maybe pudding, but considering the area was poor it might not even have been any good... but at least it was food. Maybe there wouldn't be enough for everybody, or not much. Food poisoning might have been frequent too.

In any case, what becomes clear is that food wasn't a given for Severus. It was rationed, of poor quality, little variety, maybe even flavorless if not bad tasting. Not saying his mother was a bad cook, but there's so much you can do in these times with no income. I'm sure sometimes there would be a special meal, for a birthday or a Holiday (Christmas maybe?) but that wouldn't be the norm.

So Severus grew up without eating much, which has little to do with his natural body frame, but I wouldn't be surprised if it had stunned his growth at least a little (if not a lot). I don't have any difficulties picturing him as too little and too scrawny for an 11 year old when he left home.

And since food wasn't a given it wouldn't be surprising if he integrated deep down that he couldn't eat too much at every meal or else it would mean he (and his parents) wouldn't have enough for the next one. Maybe there was even an unspoken rule that his father needed more food because he was the bread-winner of the family and Severus saw his mother eat less purposefully and mimicked her. I'm sure his mother wanted him to eat, but if he said he was fine maybe she wouldn't argue too much, as that may also mean Tobias would be in a better mood. And Severus might have also wanted for Tobias to be in as much of a good mood as possible back then.

He might also have stolen food back then. Sometimes from the pantry (very tiny, strategically unremarkable things) or from the outside.

We know the Evans family was better off than the Snapes, so it wouldn't be surprising if through Lily he was able to experience some nicer things (maybe candies, licorice or even chocolate) or maybe he was even invited a few times for dinner.

Could be really cute to imagine Lily introduced him to some new flavors that left him speechless and so fricking happy as he got home with the taste still in his mouth. Maybe she'd give him a candy and he would just lick it a few times then carefully put it back in the wrapper to make it last as much as possible. For days. It's be a treat after dinner, just one, two licks, letting the taste fill his mouth, closing his eyes and hiding it back under his pillow.

In any case, taking into account what we know from canon and the reality of what living in the slums means, we could - in my opinion - safely assume that Severus Snape knew what Hunger was.

- When he first went to Hogwarts -

With all of this in mind, can we take a second to stop and imagine what finally coming to Hogwarts might have been like for 11 years old Severus Tobias Snape? Of course he was excited, his mother had told him all about it, but nothing could have prepared him for the reality of the sheer amount of food appearing before his little eyes when the Sorting Ceremony was over. Nothing.

His first meal in the wizarding world was a proper feast. This is something a starving child doesn't forget and this might have played an early role in strengthening his resolve of embracing his magical side instead his muggle heritage. The magic part of his life was literally abundant and nourishing.

I won't go into detail here but there's this incredible post detailing every food appearing in the books that we know of (so in the 90s). Here is an extract from it that I think is important to give a bit of context:

When the food appeared, I can totally imagine him being so stunned that he couldn't move for a few minutes. Too many smells, so much variety, everything overflowing everywhere. And as he looked around, people were just... digging in. And it took him a moment to realize he was allowed to. Because of course he was. He was a student, he was finally at Hogwarts.

So he slowly plated himself something, looking around expectantly as if someone was about to get angry at him. Of course it didn't happen but he couldn't fight off years of conditioning so he might have not eaten much that evening. Anyway, he was already so overwhelmed with nervousness and happiness from being here that it didn't matter.

In the weeks that followed though, as he settled in, he might have eaten more. Way more. He wanted to try everything, even stuff that looked almost suspicious since he had no idea what it was. I think he discovered the pure joy of just stuffing his face. It was great, the freedom of not expecting to lack, of just reaching out for an apple whenever he was hungry. And I'm pretty convinced he got a few stomach aches for 1) eating too much/too fast and 2) trying things his stomach wasn't familiar with. That's when he discovered you could also get a tummy ache if you ate too much. Huh.

Maybe he even discovered that he was like... allowed to take some food with him (like I could see him stuffing one? two? three??? apples in his bag, bewildered that he was allowed and could just... snack on it whenever he wanted??? WHAT A LIFE.)

And it was like discovering a never ending new world of savors through the seasons as the meals changed. So exciting. Abundance but also a journey of tasty discoveries.

This being said, talking about food with other students might have been a strange and alienating experience. He might have gotten strange looks (because who was that feral child eating everyday like it was his last meal and asking what mince pies were?) and felt self-conscious when sharing his home life. He might have stopped doing that real fast, especially if he was surrounded by wealthy slytherins heirs.

His big discoveries might have been (please remember I'm talking out of my ass here since I'm trying to imagine the big differences he might have perceived in the 70s from his childhood in the slums):

-Fresh vegetables.

-Being able to eat meat at every meal if he wanted to.

-Actually good gravy.

-Spices.

-Deserts.

This being said, I wouldn't be surprised either if Hogwarts was a lot to deal with. Talk about his life doing a 180°. So maybe he also developed coping mechanism to deal with the onslaught of stress/socializing/work and one of them might have been... eating a bit like at home: eating things closer in taste to things he had back there (comfort food?) and to run on very little. It could have been a way to control soothe his senses.

I have a headcanon that when he went home for Christmas that first year (maybe the only time he did), when his mother welcomed him at the station she almost wept when she saw her little boy with fuller cheeks. He was still thin, still a little too small for his age, but he had some colors on him and sparkles in his eyes and so much to tell her. She was so proud. Of course he told her about the food as well - it made her happy and able to relive some of her own memories, but she also grew sad and regretful that they couldn't offer him a 'proper Christmas meal' (which was ridiculous, he perfectly knew what their usual Christmas dinner was like, he was just happy to see his Ma, but from this point on he refrained from talking too much about it as to not make her sad).

Speaking of that, going back home might have been a cold shower (metaphorically and figuratively)(he had also discovered the joys of hot showers and indoor plumbing) and as he went back to school in January, food might have tasted different again. Maybe tainted with the ever growing question: why would his mother embrace Muggle culture if it meant revoking such privilege ? And what could it say about his own future?

We could imagine a lot of different things about how his relationship with food would change over time. He might have slowed down his eating pace again after that trip home and chewed very slowly again because food=privilege and he wouldn't take it for granted. Maybe he'd eat very little because unconsciously he wouldn't feel deserving of it? Maybe he'd starve himself then binge and get himself sick?

I'm going with the idea that over his school years he normalized his eating habits. He's not a big eater (and I headcanon this being a consequence of his childhood conditioning) and has a fast metabolism (part genetics, part stress). For sure though, his upbringing impacted him and we canonly know he has trouble separating himself from his childhood (since he kept the house in Spinner's End).

- What about after school? (aka studies+DE days) -

We have literally 0 clues regarding his studies after Hogwarts (tho to become a Potion Master he must have done a Mastery of some kind) but we could assume it was as another Potion Master's apprentice, who could have been an honorable witch/wizard and thus, he might have had decent living conditions.

But we also know (or we assume more like) that he might also have been introduced into the DE circles around that time, maybe as a protégé of Lucius Malfoy and so now we're upgrading from Hogwarts's food to aristocracy-tier meals. We're talking expensive alcohol in crystal glasses, multiple courses meals, foreign delicacies, sculpted magical deserts... I have a few headcanons about that.

-He knew the basics of etiquette from his mother but Lucius and Narcissa trained him on everything (tables manners, conversations, pureblood customs, posture, voice inflections, etc.) He learnt fast and asked a lot of questions.

-As for the food... don't get me wrong I'm pretty sure he must have been blown away by some stuff that tasted incredible but I can't shake the feeling that he also must have struggled due to the invisible class barrier from his upbringing. In their world, food had always been a given. They never experienced the joy of stuffing their face after starving for years, had no idea what discovering chocolate at 10 years old was like, the weeping joy of not being afraid to skip meals. He might have been envious of them but also maybe a bit angry because they had no idea how easy they had it.

-Also yes, the food was good but could we not spend an hour blowing smoke up each other's asses about that filet? Yes it's good, but at the end of the day it's meat. Yes yes, caviar is expensive but it's just fish eggs and the texture is disturbing as fuck, can we just not?

Deep down Severus Snape isn't refined, though he tried hard to hide it back then. Underneath controlled inflections was a thick accent, underneath that elevated pinky were rude but earnest table manners and behind the compliment about the vinaigrette was a yearning for some fucking boiled potatoes. Despite everything, despite his efforts, despite himself... at the end of the day inside of him he was still that poor gruff man from the Midlands.

- Adult life (back to Hogwarts) -

No we venture into what he might have enjoyed eating. Honestly, it's so difficult and subjective because I'm so not-versed with British food, having never tasted anything so projecting what this specific guy might have liked or not is just me blabbing so I will focus more on eating habits and, big likes and dislikes and a few specific ones. (feel free to give me your own headcanons in the comments!). Here we go:

-Severus is still not a big eater. It's part residual conditioning, part metabolism, part nerves/anxiety/depression. But he works a lot and needs energy so he rarely skips a meal, except for his bi-annual depressive episodes.

-Little breakfast, medium/big lunch, light dinner. Sometimes a late-night snack if he works late.

-With age and after his time with the Malfoys, he went back to enjoying simpler food again. It wasn't so much nostalgia as much as feeling more 'himself' that way.

Breakfast

-He always has the same breakfast for long periods of time (which goes in hand with my autistic headcanon) going from two to six months until he's bored of it. Sometimes it's two buttered pieces of toast. Sometimes it's one egg and some beans but always with one cup of black coffee.

-He finds porridge's texture deeply unpleasant as it reminds him of the sludge his mother used to make.

-He also enjoys crumpets a lot. Sometimes as a late-night snack.

Lunch/Dinner

-He's not difficult with food, really. But he prefers his meat tender (because it's better than the rubber shit he ate as a kid) and his vegetables a bit crunchy.

-His mother made good sausage rolls and he still enjoys it quite a bit.

-He likes chicken but thinks it's way tastier if you eat it with your hands (childhood memory) but he has a reputation to maintain so..

-He often gets stomach aches if he eats too much at dinner so one of his go-to is soup.

Sweets

-As a teen he didn't have money to buy stuff from Honeydukes (he always told himself he didn't care anyway)(he did)(someone heal his inner child please). He still considers sugar as something a bit luxurious even though it's both available and affordable to him now.

-He doesn't necessarily have a sweet tooth per say but he enjoys the... practicality of sugar. Since he doesn't eat a lot and works long hours he relies on it to get his energy boosts.

-He's got a little tin of biscuits in his office (plain ones or with cinnamon or ginger) for when he drinks tea by himself and is in the mood for a tiny treat after a long day.

-Dark chocolate. He bites and lets it melt slowly under his tongue. He especially likes the kind with sea salt.

-Treactle tart is one of his favorites as it still reminds him of Christmas with his mother (it was one of her specialties and he always helped her make it. It's one of the nicest memories he has with her).

-He makes his own candied flowers once a year. When he goes into the Forbidden forest for ingredients in Spring, he also picks some violets and makes three jars. (He gives one to Minerva.)

-He enjoys grapes, mostly because he likes spitting the seeds.

Drinks

-First coffee of the morning is taken black. Don't talk to him, don't breathe near him. In fact, don't exist it's better this way. The second one is taken with sugar and in the afternoon he switches to tea. Then coffee again at night at the end of semester when he has too much work.

-As a teen he drank a lot of pumpkin juice. Less so as as an adult (he almost completely stopped when he became teacher because he wanted to appear as mature as possible in front of his colleagues and the students) but later on he would rarely say no to a cup.

-He rarely drinks alcohol and maybe got hammered twice in his life (once he got angry-drunk and it reminded him way too much of his father and another time he got depressed-drunk, which was pure shite as well).

-He likes his tea black, sometimes with sugar. Will judge heavily anyone who fails to prepare it properly (Minerva makes a great one).

Dislikes

-Stringy meat. It gets stuck between his fucked up teeth and he abhors the sensation.

-Sticky stuff (like caramel). Same issue.

-He hates corn.

Unrelated you won't convince me he's not a constipated bitch. I don't think I need to explain myself here. The man is a walking knot.

Here you go! I'm finally done. If you made it this far, thank you... I'm tired and I hope this was mildly interesting to you. I'd love to hear your thoughts and headcanons about this so feel free to reblog or comment ! <3

Big big thanks to @dirty-dirty-muggle, @wumbocroft, @historycat for their precious help and contribution on that topic. Also thanks to @arkadijxpancakes again for showing me this incredible post about Hogwarts's food.

Finally a good nights sleep🛌💙

our spiritually elevated rejection of canon vs their intellectually dishonest refusal to engage with the text

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Crispy ground beef tacos