im one of the angels assigned to guard god's throne and i keep shaving a piece of wood off one of the legs so it gets progressively thinner and weaker until one day it will snap like a matchstick and the big man will topple from his seat of power to grace the ground with his holy ass. of course he's omniscient so he already knows this and will have to banish me from heaven when it happens, but because of free will he has to give me the option to repent right until the very end. we both know i'm not going to do it but the rules that define our very being won't let us take any other course of action and besides he made me this way, so really the joke's on him no matter what.

“In 1404, King Taejong fell from his horse during a hunting expedition. Embarrassed, looking to his left and right, he commanded, “Do not let the historian find out about this.” To his disappointment, the historian accompanying the hunting party included these words in the annals, in addition to a description of the king’s fall.“

I call this the create a new problem technique

so you've got your twelve least favorite coworkers who you would dearly like to see die. fast forward three thousand years of extradimensional prison and you're in a post-apocalyptic wasteland where the only people you know are still your twelve least favorite coworkers. half of them are career academics.

and only one of you can be the universe's next top model.

This is how they decide who gets tenure

“Turned evil because she was denied tenure” is genuinely the backstory of Mesaana from Wheel of Time

I bought a lot of sphere merch then he went villain so I had to sell my To The Moon t shirt

Swapped to Bastion then he said a slur on live TV and I don't fuck with that so I sold my Bastion branded coffee mug

I swapped to mouse protector then she got murder ratted and it felt crass so I sold my Cheese It trainers

I swapped to Alexandria and then it came out she was doing human experimentation and a C53 gave me a filthy look for wearing my Adamant Tower hoody

I'm sick of this.

Gonna place my bet on someone who will never go wrong.

My new gold Scion bracelet arrives tommorow.

And none of that is nearly as disturbing as the costumes Sabah makes to fulfill Lily’s Ouibeaux fetish.

Is that weeaboo in French??

Since there's been another "Tumblr is gonna die!" scare, let's do a poll...

Rb for larger sample size appreciated :)

Steel Ball Run anime key visual, Part 7 anime confirmed!!

here we go

one more time araki my man

if im being totally honest, the biggest reason I wish people on this website had paid more attention in english class and had reading comprehension is so that they would understand when and why jokes are funny. Maybe if y'all understood that a line like "None of these words are in the bible" is only funny because its totally unexpected. Or maybe if y'all understood how to construct jokes for yourself, we wouldn't have so many comments like "OP check your carbon monoxide detector" because you'd ALSO know how to build a joke. but anyways its the weekend so im fine about this. I'm normal about this. im NOT bothered.

anti-target audience.

Source: https://twitter.com/beach_fox/status/1325668490431246336 (which include more “memeorite glyphs”

Reblog daily for health and prosperity

not donald trump singlehandley uniting the world against america and encouraging mass boycotting

Good. This is what I want to see from Europe and everyone else! Step up - boycott America (I’m an American btw) and use your money to fight. The only thing that will get him out of office is financial failure. You have to do this and keep it up for 4 years.

Best anti ai advertisement I’ve seen

See on Bluesky