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my silly little jester costume for the play I’m in is so fire you all wish you were me

no one has ever jingle jangled like I’m jingle jangling now

post cancelled they de-belled my costume for sound design reasons

Neutered

bilbo baggins

microwave mimic that just eats the food instead of cooking it

tags written by microwave mimic. "oh just reach in the moment the food is 1 second from ready. yeah your whole arm."

Listening to a podcast

"Let's take a word from our sponsor."

*Skip ahead a minute* "You can-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "Use code-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "300,000-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "300,000-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "T-shirts-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "Motherfuck-"

*Go back 15 seconds*

Oh we're all feeling this one aren't we?

So many shapes and sizes.

the finches nesting in the monastery have evolved tonsures

Coexisting With The Fair Folk Who Have Taken Up Residence In/Around/Beneath Your University: A How-To Guide

See more of my comics here, and my art here!

Whole bunch of lore/things I couldn’t fit/everything I love about the overlap in superstition and General College Weirdness below the cut-

Keep reading

i wish u could hold out ur hand to pigeons and they’d come sniff it like cats would & they’d go ooo rooo rorooo oo and let u pet them. alas bird flu

sheepish is a really funny word. fuck im so nervous (turns into this)

omg the girlies

omg the girls are saviiiiiiiing wiiiildliiiiife

Not all heroes wear capes. Or trousers.

Not leaving this in the tags

I saw this on insta and someone commented asking her how she knew they were in there and she said that she saw the mama duck with only one duckling and thought it was suspicious so she stopped to check and hear them quacking down there... :') <3

the way the momma duck sped up once she saw her babies yayyyy

one time when i was specializing in whales a guy came in and asked where the whales were right that instant (southern resident killer whales could be anywhere between alaska and california at any given moment) and as soon as i started explaining that he loudly interrupted "I'LL GO ASK A MAN" and stormed off to one of my employees and from a distance i watched him ask the same question and then the employee point back at me.

sometimes I think about how brussel sprouts, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, kale, collard greens, savoy cabbage, kohlrabi, and gai lan are all the same species, and i understand why biologists are constantly furious about taxonomy

I’m sorry what

same species. same fucking species

Somebody please explain this because what the fuck

i can do that!

Introducing the Brassica oleracea, a plant species whose cultivars include…all of the above. They all originated from the same plant aka THIS FUCKER! 

No, really. This thing has existed in Europe for thousands of years, during which time different societies had different culinary preferences, leading them to selectively breed for different traits. For example, a preference for the eating leaves led farmers to select seeds from the plants with the largest leaves, resulting gradually in the development of kale.

The real fun thing is, this happened on a vast timeline. Kale was developed over 4000 years ago, while Savoy cabbage was first documented just 5 centuries ago. And different cultivars developed in different regions across Europe and Asia, with their phenotypes and names changing wildly over time. (Fun fact, Brussels sprouts are indeed named for Brussels, the capital city of Belgium, where they were developed from a predecessor imported from Rome.) 

The list above isn’t even exhaustive btw. There are plenty of other ridiculous cultivars (such as the Jersey cabbage, pictured below), and there’s no telling how many other forms existed throughout history, and which would have counted as distinct cultivars, and how many names and groups they were separated into, and, and, and—and imposing taxonomy on the real world is a mess, basically, because the real world does not give a shit about making itself comprehensible or categorizeable. But still we try. Planet Earth has Hot Mess Energy, and would you really have it any other way?

ko-fi

Also the reason they’re considered the same species is because if you try to crossbreed them they will produce viable and fertile offspring

Plants are insane that way

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

Introducing Kalettes (kale-brussels sprouts hybrid), Broccoflower (broccoli-cauliflower hybrid), and Broccolini (broccoli-gai lan hybrid)

look at the kalettes! the itty bitty tiny kalettes!!! I absolutely despise this knowledge thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonus: Romanesco broccoli, which is not a hybrid but just….really fucked up cauliflower

And don’t even get me STARTED on ornamental cabbage. fuck off

y'all check out these weird ass veggies

"The word pandemonium was coined by John Milton as the name for the Parliament of Hell" is an all-timer etymology. Oh yeah did you hear that Mrs Higgins's dogs got loose at the village fête? It was like a vast golden edifice in which fallen angels debate their strategies for vengeance against god, yeah.