reblog to teleport your mutuals to a massive party when jkr dies

when jkr dies i will tag every single person who reblogged this in a post btw

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

Radish. Answer the question radish.

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

Its takes less than a minute

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

Like seven minutes

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS'N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)

RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS'N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

KING: Ev'ry single person in this group must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.

I’m sorry but the THOUGHT that has been put into this, I actually CAN’T—

The fact that nearly every line is so metrically considered- near perfect iambic pentameter witb the occasional trochee for emphasis, but usually retaining a strong sense of rhythm nonetheless. And then the king comes in at the end, so wound in his disbelief that his response is reduced to prose.

And the even better thing about this is how easy it would have been to structure the king’s line into iambic pentameter: it is effectively already said as such because of the way wizardlyghost has phrased it, yet they haven’t!! They did not break the line, rendering what, by all typically of both Shakespearean canon and other periods context should be the character with the most command and authority in the whole play. If there was ever a more effective way to convey a genuine “what the fuck??”, I know of it not.

But it gets better!! Shakespeare regularly uses meter in order to represent class divide; the nobility usually speak in iambic pentameter, save for a few particularly chosen moments (e.g. Lady Macbeth’s descent into madness, Othello’s realisation of Desdemona’s “betrayal”) or just lines where Shakespeare needs to suggest high emotion or when a character is lost in thought. Supernatural characters like the fairies in A Midsummer Night’s Dream and the Witches in Macbeth usually speak in trochaic tetrameter, an inversion of iambic pentameter. Lower class characters, particularly those used for comic relief (usually under the influence of alcohol), speak with no structure at all: their language is plain prose. Therefore, if this is a conversation between these types of characters, as the prompt from silvergirachi suggests, why the hell are the characters speaking so eloquently???

Now, this is Tumblr. It is subsequently logical to assume that this may have merely been a humorous recreation (and a very good one at that) of the Shakespearean style in a way that is widely recognisable to an audience that may or may not have read a great deal of Shakespeare, which is understandable. However, logic is boring so I’m going to probe further into this to the point where future historians will look to this as an example of overanalysing.

The inherent eloquence of the characters here suggests an unusual subversion of the roles typically assumed in Shakespearean comedy. This could be interpreted along two major avenues: firstly, that the rhetoric displayed by the speakers is fundamentally representative of how truth can be expected even from the most seemingly pointless or ludicrous discussions. Furthermore, it could suggest that it matters not how well constructed your speeches are: if you talk bullshit, it’s going to sound that way despite your attempts to hide it.

This is similar but not identical to the second avenue of interpretation: there is the implication that the noblemen in the play are in fact the comic relief characters, therefore implying that the “common people” of the play are the ones whose influence, though not expressed in such a highly spoken manner, makes a lot more sense than whatever the hell this is. If this was a real Shakespeare play, I would call it a subtle exploration into the innate corruption of the rich and powerful. Well done, op.

Now, I doubt any of this is actually grounded analysis in any way, shape or form, but if someone else can take this to the extremes of writing a Shakespearean scene, why can I not analyse it as such? And where else to do so than Tumblr?

im in tears i didnt think anyone would put this much analysis into this‚ thank you so much

i also like that everyone else gets a version of their handle and then tumblr user pidoop is promoted to king

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

I imagine this wouldn’t be interesting enough to make its own symbol. I wouldn’t be surprised if they printed a specific card or couple cards that said they couldn’t be cast with colorless mana though.

maomao is my favorite "not like other girls" style protagonist bc for one shes a girls girl through and through. to the bone. and two she's just a weird little freak. absolute lunatic. they have the whole "omg she's actually beautiful and everyone falls for her when she's all made up" trope but the punchline is that she does not fucking want to look like that. she actively puts dirt on her face every day bc she does not want to be perceived as attractive (mostly out of fear of being used for sex work though at the same time she has the utmost respect for women who do sex work like she grew up in a brothel those are her sisters). she's Sherlock level smart and solves every mystery so fast but goes "well thats none of my business. anyway back to testing poisons on myself" she has the 2nd most powerful guy in the nation head over heels in love with her and is like "man this guy is weird around me what's his deal. I guess he's fine though because he gives me rare medicines and has no dick" fucking ICON i love her. also she once slapped someone so hard they fell on the floor. 10/10

This. This. This is why I'm obsessed with her.

She's an icon. She's legendary. She's the moment.

Imagine the most morally reprehensible, sadistic, violent art you can. Something with no social value, that only appeals to the prurient interest, what someone might call absolutely degenerate art.

The violence required to police that kind of art is infinitely more violent than the act of creating whatever you just imagined.

Inspired by a debate in the office lunchroom

Palace accountant: So we have noticed that in the last few months there has been an increase in spending, mostly pharmaceutical provisions that were labeled as “Happy Maomao”

Jinshi: Listen, even though her official position is Food taster, she provides invaluable services across multiple branches of the Palace administration. Thanks to her we were able to efficiently and quickly resolves issues that affected the Palace. Monetary compensation is important, but thanks to those additional investments, she is more motivated in providing her services. Believe me, a happy Maomao will make all our jobs easier.

Gaoshun, internally: Also Master Jinshi likes to pamper her, so a happy Maomao is a happy Jinshi

Accountant: I thought her official position was Admonisher of thieves?

All things that you should not have to be rich in order to do

#those things shouldn’t be fucking pipe dreams!

I'm glad boss runbacks aren't really a thing anymore in Fromsoft titles. Aside from being an inconvenience, I think they kill a lot of the world's atmosphere and tension. The original Dark Souls in particular carries the feeling of exiting a haunted house at a state fair only to realize you dropped your keys somewhere, so you have to elbow your way apologetically past other guests and rotating set pieces in order to search for them. After going through a couple of times an actor dressed like Michael Meyers offers to help.

I respect where you're coming from. However, I would very much describe that as killing the tension.

Dark Souls is MMA and Monster Hunter is Pro Wrestling.

Dark Souls bosses have insane tracking, and you can adjust your end contact point very freely before a certain point in the animation, your main way of dodging is to use your i-frames, and it actually speaks of a high level, seasoned player when they know which specific attacks can be dodged by just moving or minisprinting and how to do it. Fights are short, you fold in a few hit, but so do 95% of bosses in the franchise. Even in Dark Souls 1, the combat is faster and accounts for this balance entirely, and your main resource to mind is your stamina as your attack and defense all depend on it: If you run out of green bar, you will soon run out of red bad. It's a very straightforward fight, the boss is in the cage with you and you put your fundamentals, entirely based on your rhythm, timing, and management, in a short fight where you either know or don't.

Monster Hunter bosses have bad tracking, just like you, and i-frames are very strict in most cases, you don't mainly rely on your i-frames to dodge, you rely on Not Being There in the first place. Your attacks are committal, but so are the bosses', so if you move just a little, JUST a little, in the right direction, the monster just whiffed their entire bite or swipe. There's a lot of value in attacks that simply Move You, because Not Being There is king, as long as you are Not There, you don't get hit. The same is true for the bosses, sometimes they Aren't There and your roundslash misses, and you are stuck in a big animation. Speed isn't important, knowing where you are, where you'll go, and where you'll be is what skill is in this game, like jumping off the top rope, and it's a real skill. There's no cage in this fight, it's a ring, and the monster can and WILL run backstage now and then. You can pursue them and beat the crap out of them further in the changing room. You are expected to do this. But watch out! Sometimes you get beat up, and now it's you running around backstage, looking for a camp to restock on Power Coating and a meal. You can be fighting Rathalos From FFXIV in a heated brawl, and suddenly you get hit in the back of your head with a steel chair by Great Jagras. Great Jagras then hits Rathalos with the steel chair. It's not a 2v1, this is a 1v1v1, no one likes each other in this fight, because it's Pro Wrestling, you gotta be the champ in the end. It's about big huge flashy cool committal moves. And when you defeat Rathalos, you take his mask, this is what carving represents, it's a sacred process.

Dark Souls is MMA and Monster Hunter is Pro Wrestling. You agree.

all of this is a very good analogy, but I especially love you calling it Rathalos From FFXIV, implying that in FFXIV you're fighting Behemoth From MHW.

? Behemoth is from Mario Sports Mix

Barbaridactylus [Prehistoric Planet] vs. Zetalpa, Primal Dawn [Magic the Gathering]

Propaganda (if any) under the cut! Please be civil, and feel free to reblog!

must ask:

plz reblog!!