Why her? (Part V to Why me?)
azriel x rhys' sister! reader
angst/eventual comfort ( I mean did you guys really thing I would let them have a smooth reunion? cackles maniacally in the background**)
Summary: When you walk in on Azriel and Elain the mating bond snaps leading you to flee to Autumn with Eris so you can be free of Azriel. Your absence causes Azriel to come to some drastic realisations, but is it already too late and has your time in Autumn led to you moving on?
You were a fool for thinking that Rhys would allow you to discretely come back to the Night Court after being away for so long and even more a fool for thinking that he wouldn't find any excuse to throw a party. The details of your mission had been classified so Rhys couldn't exactly disclose that it was a welcome home party for you, but no one in their right mind will question the reasoning behind a Night Court ball.
Rhys' extravagance extended to his parties and they were some of the most revered in Prythian. Even Beron, the grumpiest high lord who hates anything to do with fun or laugher, would look forward to attending, dragging his gaggle of deplorable children along.
You're going to attend the Ball with Lucien and Eris and then stay in the Night Court, marking the end of your time in Autumn. Autumn has always been a place of change. The leaves of trees are always flickering between shades of red, orange, and brown some falling and some staying without being enticed by the prospect of winter of winter.
You do have to say the eternal Autumn does live up to it's namesake. In just 3 short months you've been changed, well not physically, but the way you think about yourself and how you go about the world. You would have to find some way to thank Eris for that. You did the work, but he pushed you to start and showed you the way and in return you hope you had taught him how to not be so unbearably uptight all the time.
You would miss your friend, Rhysand would never forgive you for thinking this, but he reminds you of Rhys in a way. You smile at the thought of your brother's reaction to this accusation. He would huff and cross his arms, immediately disagreeing with you. You know Eris would do something similar. He will make a good high lord.
You continue to get ready for the ball, ditching your normal colour palette of blues and purples for a Night Court black dress with gold adornments along the bodice. You had to pay homage to your time in Autumn, but you are still Night Court. The way the gold snakes around reminded you of golden vines rather than the shadow-like designs you've been accustomed to.
You were related to Rhys and Mor, it was in your blood to go over the top with these kind of things. It was Eris' idea to add leafs to the golden vines to the dress and also Eris' idea to match his suit to your dress. Lucien thought that the gold and black designs were way too much for him, but you were able to convince him into wearing the matching cuff links. You knew what kind of message that you and Eris matching would sent to the courts and to a certain spymaster, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. If you wanted to match with Eris so be it who cares what they think?
Your thoughts begin to stray back to a certain spymaster, it had been 3 months since you'd last seen him and 3 months since you had found out that you guys were mates. The mating bond had become nothing more than a dull feeling in your chest and you don't even think you could tug on it if you wanted to. That is how far removed you had become from the bond, how far you have become removed from Azriel.
Azriel. You were still trying to decide how you would deal with him. Right now, you are leaning towards being polite to him when you see him and then dancing and talking with everyone else all evening in order to avoid his presence. You decided to not give him the amount of your attention that he has become accustomed to. You will set your sights on connecting with your family and friends; he, of course, will be included in that but only on a polite, friendly level and not on the all-consuming level of a mate.
Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. Eris walks in with a hand behind his back. His face is nuetral, but his eyes are almost solemn. He begins to speak, "It has been a long time since I've had the pleasure of being around decent company." Eris is not a sentimental person, so you understand that even this much is a lot for him.
He approaches you and his hand comes out from behind his back to reveal a gold necklace. It was a simple necklace with a gold chain and a small pendant on the end with a fox sitting on a moon engraved in it. He delicately places the necklace in your hand.
You smile up at him, "Thank you, Eris, I love it." You walk up to him and look in his eyes, the enemy of the Night Court that was somehow your saviour in this dark tie. You don't know how you repay him. You wrap your arms around him in an embrace and he freezes. He must not have hugged someone in a while because he immediately stiffed and then put his arms around you. If anyone saw this they would assume that this is proof that Eris Vanserra had a heart and that he needed to learn how to hug because it looked like you were holding him hostage.
Nevertheless, you got excited, he had never let you hug him before. He sighs, "You know you could just stay here, who else is going to look after the foxes." You thought back to the first day, you arrived in Autumn a complete and utter mess and in your drunken stupor had dragged along Lucien and domesticated a whole family of foxes. You had come a long way since then, when the fate of yours and Azriel's mating bond had been the only thing on your mind and the world felt tilted on it's axis.
Eris' voice interrupts your thoughts, "Who else am I going to terrorise on the daily?" You chuckle, "You will always have Lucien."
He lets out an exasperated sigh, "He's been much too boring lately. He doesn't appreciate my schemes." You let out an immediate retort, "Your brother doesn't want you to make an enemy of every court? What a pity." In all his spitefulness and maliciousness, Eris had been your rock lately and you don't know what you are going to do without at least a little bit of his mischief in your life.
Your eye strays to the window, and you look outside and see the trees swaying in the wind. The scene almost reminds you of a painting with Autumn leaves swaying in the breeze against the backdrop of a golden sunset. You had always believed the Night Court to be the most captivating of all the courts, you believed that nothing could rival the beauty of the stars that danced across the Night Court sky, but the golden Autumn sunset had you rethinking your decision. There was something about the warm, enticing glow of the Autumn Court sunset that had made you forget about the beauty of the Night sky that you had loved for so many years, but sunsets were fleeting and as soon as you began to appreciate the moment the sun had disappeared below the horizon it was over.
Sun disappearing below the horizon? By the Cauldron you were running late to the ball. You jump away from Eris and run to put on your shoes, "Loving this bonding moment we're having here, but we are running late and my brother will literally come here and drag me to the ball if we don't leave immediately."
He laughs and lets out a sarcastic, "Your command is my wish, Your Royal Highness of the Court of Night. Or is that not regal enough? Your divine goddessness-"
Yo roll your eyes and laugh. "Oh my god shut up Eris lets go." He drops into a dramatic bow and holds his hand out. You know he's trying to distract you from thoughts of Azriel, and you appreciate the effort.
He looks at you with sincere eyes, "You ready?" You answer right away, scared that if you give yourself a minute to sit and contemplate you're going to change your mind and run away like you did to Autumn. You nod, softly you say, "Ready as I'll ever be."
With that you take his hand and the world falls away as you begin to travel to the Night Court.
Azriel's a nervous wreck. He may be dressed for a ball, his usual leathers traded for ball attire. Azriel has never been one for especially opulent attire, Rhys has always been the most fashionable out of the three brothers, but he really wanted to look good for your guys' reunion. He had actually asked Mor and Rhys for outfit advice, which had left both of them speechless due to how out of character it was.
They dressed him in an elevated Spymaster's uniform, which was more flair than practicality. His tunic was much too tailored to be for fighting, and the cobalt cufflinks and designs would not help with blending in to the shadows. A useless outfit for spying or attending to any spymaster business, but a perfect outfit for a Night Court ball.
Mor and Rhys made him shave, get a haircut, even made him use this enchanted eye cream to get minimise the dark circles that were permanently etched on his face from all the sleepless nights in your absence. Mother knows how excited he was to see you. He had barely thought of anything else since he was told of your arrival and has thought of a thousand different scenarios of how your reunion will go. The last one involved you running into his arms and him happily spinning you around.
The remnants of your scent still linger in your room. Azriel would know, considering he's basically moved into it, but it's not enough anymore. Azriel needs more.
He's been pacing for nearly an hour, Cassian had become dizzy from watching him go back and forth for so long. "Brother, you are worried for nothing. You will see her and all will be well again." Cassian tries to assure him.
Azriel responds by walking over the counter and pouring a glass of whiskey. He stopped when it was about three-quarters of the way full. "Brother, I implore you to think about your decision." Azriel walks the glass over to him and Cassian gives him a smile. "See I'm proud of you, you made the right decision."
Azriel gives a small smile back and walks over to the counter. He then grabs the bottle of whiskey off the counter and presses it to his lips, beginning to chug the remnants. Cassian jumps up and runs to him yelling, "NO-"
The bottle was already finished by the time Cassian got to him. Sulking, he sat down and began to drink his own glass, scared that Azriel might come over there and down it too.
The sun was beginning to set over the horizon, which means the ball was starting soon. Azriel felt as though he couldn't breathe. He was a mix of excitement, nerves, and fear. His chest felt heavy in a way that he has never felt before and he half-contemplated jumping out the window and flying away and never coming back.
It was rare that Azriel would be the one freaking out and Cassian would be the one calming him down but here he was. His brother came over slapped an arm over his shoulder and was grinning at him. "You ready for what could possibly be the greatest evening of your life brother?" The way that Cassian was looking at him and the knowledge that you were going to be there made him almost believe that it could be.
You arrive to the gardens of Velaris, the site of the ball, with Eris in tow. To absolutely zero surprise, Rhys had spared no expense for this party. Fae lights swirled around the trees and plans lighting up the gardens while mage lights floated throughout the grounds lighting up in a variety of colours. The garden was illuminated in a way that made all the flowers glow, which was only enhanced by the full moon lighting up the sky. All in all it was the perfect welcome to the Night Court.
Azriel has never believed in fate, the idea of an entity controlling his destiny never sat well with him, he believes that he is the one in control of everything he does. He wakes up at the time he chooses, goes to the places he wishes, and will do what he wants. Azriel believes that fate is an excuse for those who fear action. The idea that fate will one day bring to you what you need, so why bother working for it had always bothered him to such a high degree. Azriel believes that he is the master of his fate.
If he is the master of his fate, why are his shadows screaming at him to follow them? Why is he feeling a physical pain in his chest from resisting the pull of his shadows? His shadows had only ever informed, but now they are commanding. They are a part of him and he is meant to have control over them, it's not supposed to be the other way around.
Their whispers had turned into screams and now the shadows were roaring at him to go.
They say in unison. He takes a deep breath and tries to hone in on the where the shadows are trying to take him. The world becomes too loud, too bright, too overwhelming and he falls into the pocket of world that only he knows, the one where darkness is a comfort and shadow reigns supreme. The realm of shadow is both a veil and a comfort and under the light of the full moon, he closes his eyes and becomes one with the night.
He is led by pure instinct, letting the shadows carry him through the ever-surrounding darkness of the night. He doesn't know where he is going, but he knows that he needs to be there. Where there is he doesn't fully know yet, but he knows what there feels like. He feels like he's walking towards a comforting light.
He remembers a time in the Illyrian mountains when he was caught in a snowstorm. Devlon said the treacherous conditions didn't matter and made him continue to train his shadowsinger abilities. He took him up the mountain and when they were done with training, Devlon had an evil smile and had wished Azriel luck and winnowed back to camp without him. 12 year Azriel didn't know how to winnow yet, and he was left on the mountain by himself in the midst of a raging blizzard.
The conditions were some of the worst that Azriel had ever seen and he had no idea where he was. He was still learning how to fly, his late start due to his father, and he had no idea how to navigate back to your guys' home. He took a deep breath and imagined what he would come back to once he got home, and everything that he would lose if he didn't make it back alive.
He closed his eyes and began to fly as best he could. He thought of his your mother making everyone hot chocolate, like she always would on a stormy winter day. He thought of Cassian and Rhys fighting over the chair that was closest to the fire. He thought of you. You who would likely be sitting in your guys' spot, pretending to read your book while constantly looking at the door to see if he made it home safe. You with your warm smile and bright eyes, who would refuse to take your cup of hot chocolate Azriel was right in front of him.
He could see the scene as clear as day and feel the warmth and comfort of the cabin. Azriel didn't know how. He just felt it. He followed that feeling of comfort. He refused to die in this storm. He refused to leave you worrying about his whereabouts any longer. He flew and flew - the ice was freezing his wings, and the wind had increased the coldness tenfold. All he could see was white and all he could hear was the howling of the wind, but he kept going forward until he hit a wall.
Not a wall, but a door. He opened the door to see the exact scene he was seeing in his head. The scene that led him here. He had no idea how he got here with no visibility or sign of where he was going.
Rhys' mom had ran to him before anyone else could. His ears and wings had been covered in frostbite, and she immediately threw him into a warm bath. Once he got out, he went to the living room and saw 3 worried faces looking at him. Cassian and Rhys froze mid fight over the chair and you looked up from your upside-down book. He grabbed one of the four hot chocolates on the counter and sat next to you. He finally let out a sigh of relief. You had handed him a blanket and he finally felt at peace. Just the simple act of having you next to him had helped comfort him from all he endured that day.
That's how Azriel was feeling right now. Like he was flying through that storm again towards that feeling of comfort. Towards that feeling of home. He didn't know where his shadows were leading him at first, but now he has a good idea.
He gets out of the realm of the shadows and the first thing he sees is your back. You’re standing next to Eris at one of the entrances of the gardens of Velaris.
He’s hiding behind one of the hedges, contemplating if should go up to you right now or wait until you’re inside when you turn around.
He knows you had always been beautiful, but standing here in front of him with the backdrop of the fae lights and under the glow of the full moon you looked downright ethereal. His heart stopped and his breath caught. It felt like the ground beneath him gave out.
He took a deep breath and it was your scent that had permeated through the air and he felt it all. The feeling of comfort. The feeling of home.
He felt it snap and the world as he knew it came crumbling down.
Mother almighty you were his mate.
note: This chapter had gone very different than I originally planned, but it spoke to me and this is what demanded to be written besides who doesn't love a good cliffhanger. I do hope it doesn't feel rushed, but I feel like Azriel needs to suffer the way the reader did. Now he's dealing with a fresh mating bond and she's the one who's indifferent and he has to try to act normal and you know Eris won't make it easy for her. The next chapter is going to be complete chaos and I can't wait to see you all next time for it, until next time loves <3
note note: I may have lied about the whole editing thing, I'll go back and fix all the chapters...eventually...
