ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOBAW

[VERY SMALL VOICE] foobaw!

I AM A HOMOSEXUAL

WAIT

HOL UP

i??????? sksjsbzvsvshdhsbdb

update:

He did her right

“he”?

confirmed

One of the hottest controversy of the month

I’ve seen this post a bunch and never once did I consider a scenario where it wasn’t about a woman.

hey. Wanna hear something funny

HE IS A DUDE!

THE PLOT TWIST A LIFETIME

HE *DID* DO HER RIGHT!

Putting the link in the post.

Breaking News Photo:

Texas Republicans attempting to disrupt a filibuster by Sen. Wendy Davis to delay the vote on a law that would effectively shut down nearly all the abortion clinics in the state.

Said Davis, “Partisanship and ambition are not unusual in a state capitol but here in Texas right now it has risen to a level of profound irresponsibility.”

The Republican Party offered a rebuttal, stating “AAAUUGUGHHHGHH!!!! BLLAAGGRGGGGHHTHTHTHHHH!!! MHMMGPP! ZNZZN XXNKKK ROOTUHP FRUUUUURGRH HGGAG!!!!!,” a response Davis admitted was more coherent than usual for the party, which last week had sacrificed a child to their lord Lucifer by beheading, when Texas state tradition mandates the removal of the child’s heart.

Lucifer later stated to MSNBC, “Wait, they’re claiming it passed even after the deadline? That’s just evil.”

lol they got so much worse than Beksinski could ever dream of depicting. Godspeed Sen. Booker.

If all the knowledge you held filled a book it could be taught to preschoolers

FAQ:

Q: Woah mama (or any variation herein)

A: Yeah

Q: Why is this so long? Add a read more!

A: Then people won't read it

Q: Do people really read the FAQ?

A: I hope so!

Q: What are your pronouns?

A: He/him for Elvis, she/her for the mod

Q: Why do you say "Woah mama" so much?

A: Woah mama they put me in the orb / the scary planet. And Johnny Bravo

Q: Where have you been?

A: Lost in the mojave desert

Q: What about the island?

A: No, it was the desert

Q: What about Mars?

A: No, it was the desert

Q: I thought you died?

A: I got better

Q: Say trans rights!

A: Trans rights!

Q: What about Woah papa?

A: Elvis is bisexual

Q: Do you support X queer group?

A: Hell yeah!

Q: Hi Elvis!

A: Hi random citizen!

Q: How do you feel about the Kings of Freeside

A: I love those guys

Q: How do you feel about the people who played you in the movies?

A: They aren't the real King, hummina hummina hummina

Q: What was it like in the orb?

A: Bad

Q: How did you get in the orb?

A: Stop asking about the orb

Q: My grandparent / other person loves your music!

A: Good for them!

Q: *Literally anything about Bubba Ho-Tep*

A: I'm aware

Q: *Literally anything relating to the sandwich*

A: Elvis only eats lizards and beetles

Q: What about water?

A: Just lizards and beetles

Q: You ate the beatles???

A: Just Paul. And he got better

Q: What's your favorite lizard and or beetle to eat?

A: Ladybugs

Q: Lizards and beetles sandwich?

A: No

Q: How do you prepare the lizards and beetles?

A: I eat them raw. No other preparation. Just lizards and beetles

Q: *That one image of Elvis recieving a message from Charles Xavier*

A: Yes, it's real, stop sending me it

Q: Do you like My Chemical Romance?

A: Yes, I've said it like five times now

Q: Do you like-

A: The musicians I've commented on are as follows: Hatsune Miku, Tally Hall, Chonny Jash, Johnny Cash, MCR, Weezer, Will Wood (And the Tapeworms), Chappell Roan, Jhariah, Lemon Demon, Eminem, Jay, Eazy, and probably a few others

Q: What are your thoughts on "Elvis is Everywhere"?

A: I am everywhere

Q: Woah mamaaaaaaaa ooooooo-oooooo-ooooo ooooo

A: I didn't mean to make you cry, if I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on, as if nothing even matters

Q: Do you ship Phan?

A: No but seriously imagine it

Q: Here's a picture of my pet!

A: Adorable!

Q: Where were you on 9/11/2001

A: The Mojave Desert. Please stop sending asks about 9/11

Q: I've started saying "Woah mama" as a stim

A: That's what it is to Elvis as well

Q: Is "Woah Mama" a vocal stim?

A: Read the above answer

Q: I'm starting hormones soon, any advice?

A: Don't be nervous, you got this, I believe in you

Q: Johnny Bravo!

A: Who do you think I've been impersonating this whole time

Q: Greaseball the Deasel

A: Shut up

Q: You misspelled Diesel

A: Fuck

Q: What are your thoughts on Vriska Homestuck?

A: She did nothing wrong

Q: Cats or dogs?

A: Hound dogs, crying all the time

Q: What would your fursona be?

A: Nothing but a hound dog

Q: What is your fursona?

A: Didn't I answer this already?

Q: If you had a fursona what would it be?

A: Are you even reading this?

Q: *Luminous Mama post*

A: Been there, done that

Q: Hey check out this ad!

A: I've seen it

Q: What's your favourite Pokémon?

A: Kingambit (Mod's is H. Zoroark)

Q: Is the Elvis Special (a bullet) just a bullet?

A: No it shoots out of a gun

Q: Are you woke?

A: Yeah

Q: *Forcefemmes you*

A:

Q: *Anything relating to Michael Jackson*

A: Woah mama you are banging my daughter

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A: 12. 12 woods

Q: What are your thoughts on Lilo and Stitch?

A: Amazing movie (the remake isn't real)

Q: *Tagging you in the Fool's Gold Loaf post*

A: How about I block you right now?

Q: Why is Elvis not Elvis right now?

A: That happens sometimes

Q:

A:

Q: Pricilla was 14

A: I know, that was fucked up, I don't support pedophilia, this is a silly gimmick blog

Q: Erm actually marrying a 14 year old doesn't make you a pedophile

A: Die in a hole

Q: Elvis was racist and stole black music

A: I know. I don't support that. Just because I'm impersonating a famous dead guy doesn't mean I support everything he's ever done

Q: Bethany hymen-restoration-project Rage is a terf / hates trans men!!

A: Google the term "satire"

Q: Can I make an AI chatbot of you?

A: Die in a hole

Q: Make the FAQ longer

A: Okay

Q: I love you / I love this blog!

A: Thank you so much!! I love recieving these love messages but I can't really answer them all. Your praise was received, I promise

I read every question I'm sent and I wish I could answer them all but I can't, sadly

If I didn't answer your ask don't send it again

If you find my main and mention Elvis I will block you I'm not kidding

These anons gets to be here because they asked nicely:

ELVIS TAGGING SYSTEM:

#Woah Mama: Any Elvis post

#Mod post: Posts from the spider lady

#Elvis answers: Asks

#Elvis edits: Posts with images I edited

Now look at this post because I really really like it

@elvriska-official

“WHAT IS THAT THING?!” “Oh, that’s the Beast; that’s not its name, exactly, that’s just what folks call it around here. It’s been protecting our town and guarding our borders for generations.”

This is just very funny to me.

Not even his robot child likes him

it's so funny when divorce lawyers try to offer relationship advice on social media based on what their clients share. like... i'm sorry but half the shit your client told you is probably not even real. trust me I come from a divorce dynasty

I think some of this yogurt has gone bad

mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately

(covered in blood and bite marks and cuts) just had the best sex you guys

,

1/22

feels nice just to be wanted. even if it is for murder

before i forget

HAPPY APRIL,

FOOLS

Happy 10 year anniversary to the best joke I’ve ever made on this blog✨

@fool-counter i bet youre having a blast today with all these posts

before i forget

HAPPY APRIL,

FOOLS

Happy 10 year anniversary to the best joke I’ve ever made on this blog✨

i bet youre having a blast today with all these posts

fool count: 2

such a blast it has been! yet it is nearly over…