Not me explaining that here on Tumblr tits is a gender neutral term for big chests unless the person has said they don’t like it
On a serious note people being unironically horny about cis men and referring to their chests as tits in their horny rantings has made me feel more comfortable as someone who is transmasc
Like I don’t have huge dysphoria about my chest because I’m not very well endowed but I still have some and like thinking: “I’m a sexy dude with sexy tits” is actually a good feeling for me personally
my blog is a safe place for the gender neutral usage of tits
Here’s a fun story of malicious compliance to brighten your day:
Until recently, a few people in my office had these desk shades to combat the obnoxious fluorescent lights, which is very helpful for people (like me) with migraines or other light-sensitivity issues.
A few days ago, everyone who has them was told to take them down. Different people were given different reasons - It violates fire code (it doesn’t) / It blocks line of sight (sort of?). Since this goes against the existing status quo, the union reps (my beloved) jumped on it. Someone jokingly suggested using umbrella hats instead, since hats are allowed in the dress code. Today, the union reps are passing out these ridiculous things in protest:
If the rules are absurd, the resistance should match.
[img txt: #simple #i would bunt the baby and sprint for first #thus making the problem that of handling the live ball/baby the problem of the catcher and third baseman #who would then have to throw the baby to first before I got there #Then I’d steal second because what’re they gonna do try to toss a baby back and forth to get me in a rundown? No fuckin way #I’d take a quick break on second before stealing third and then home #for the game’s single most upsetting inside the park home run]
Stop putting this christian baby in Situations
genuinely in love with the reveal, from the baby prodigy scenario, that Christian Baby does not refer simply to a baby baptised and born to christians, but to an infant that holds a belief in christian theology
what’s new pussycat just started playing in this restaurant and every millenial in the room shared a knowing, fearful look
It’s fucking Tom Jones? Millennials are you too stupid to realize that Tom Jones is the reason some of you exist? (Think about it for a second, you’ll get it)
hhhhhh oh my god ohhh my god oh my fucking god
tom jones fucked all of our moms
Two weeks ago, my sister and I went out for breakfast at a popular cafe near her place. Enya’s ‘Only Time’ started playing halfway through our homefries, and was still droning right along as I ate my last bite of potato. Squinting, I looked up at the ceiling, looked at my sister, and said:
“Either someone’s playing ‘Only Time’ back-to-back, or ‘Only Time’ is a lot longer than I remember.”
Her eyes went huge. We lingered over our tea (a thing we normally wouldn’t do in a crowded eatery, but we had a mystery to solve) and soon confirmed that, yes, somebody was looping Enya. No one else in the cafe seemed to have caught on, but we were some of the younger people present anyway. The staff were all going about their business. Nobody was looking around with fearful millennial knowingness but us. By the sixth-ish repetition, we were in silent hysterics, biting our fists, whispering “GODDAMMIT” to each other, drawing weird glances from adjacent tables.
My sister got up to use the bathroom. Left alone with the seventh repetition of ‘Only Time’, I left my stuff at our table, got back in line, and ordered a pastry to go. As the barista rang me up, I said:
“Hey, sorry, weird question, but I have to know. Are you guys pulling a Salt and Pepper Diner right now?”
Her face transitioned from ‘polite customer service mask’ to ‘sly but delighted’ in .2 seconds. “We’ve been waiting to see if anybody would notice. Nobody’s been reacting at all!”
“Is there a prize for being the first?” I promise I was joking, but she lit up and said,
“Yes, oh my god! Do you want a cookie??”
And that’s the story of how John Mulaney won me a giant ginger-molasses cookie.
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