your friend is amazing and i’m so glad you have her! yes, we need solidarity between all kinds of trans people!! we need to stick together, fight for each other cause at the end of the day, we’re all in this together.

regarding the transphobia, i’m so sorry you have to go through that. and yes, those “allies” are shit.

i think that’s really cool of you and i respect that a lot. being trans is hard enough, but not meeting expectations of what a trans person should be, being gender non-conforming or just having these little things that could potentially make other people question you even more can be especially challenging. i like that you decided to stay true to yourself and not conform, even though that makes it harder for you.

surely there are other trans guys and trans mascs that didn’t change their name for whatever reasons. whether that reason is of your own choice because you like that name, or because you feel like you can’t go by a male name, it’s okay. your name doesn’t define your gender. being trans and not conforming to gender stereotypes on top of that can be really tricky. so be extra nice to yourself. you’re cool.

this message is several months old, i’m sorry!

anyway, thank you so much for sharing this with me and i’m really glad this blog is helpful to you.:) much love!

tw: mention of suicidal thougts

hi anon, i’m so sorry for replying several months later. i hope this still somehow finds its way to you or at least helps others. once again, i’m sorry.

that is a horrifying and traumatic experience and i’m really sorry that happened to you. i’m glad you didn’t give up living and are still here. i hope you give yourself credit for that and thank yourself. you did great.:)

being ashamed of being trans is completely understandable in regards to your experience and the state of the world right now, so make sure not to add to the shame by telling yourself you shouldn’t feel ashamed and should be proud. it’s natural to feel like that after being bullied and told to kill yourself. i wonder how your mental health is in general. i hope you’re getting the help you need and being nice to yourself. that kind of stuff is really hard to go through.

if you want any advice on how to be more confident with being trans and overcoming the fear of other people knowing, i think the first step would be accepting those feeling of shame. name the feeling, feel it in your body and sit with it. it should get at least a little better.

the second thing i’d do is to work on self-compassion and loving yourself, giving yourself the validation and care you need. you can find many resources online. i think it would be good to promise yourself that you’ll prioritize your own happiness and authenticity now matter what others say and that you’ll protect yourself if someone attacks you. that you’ll always be by your side.

i wonder if you personally know any other trans people? depending on where you live, meeting other trans people can be easy or very difficult, but i think a great step would be to try to find at least one trans friend (preferably in person, but online is okay too) and listen to their story. maybe their resilience and pride would make you respect them and then you could extend the same respect and admiration to yourself.

remember, there is nothing wrong with you and you have nothing to be ashamed for. we’ve been here for thousands of years, we’ve been silenced and dehumanized and killed and opressed but we’re still here!! we go out and try to be our most authentic self, we fill the world with love and acceptance and openness and freedom despite all the hardships. isn’t that beautiful and admirable? you’re strong and brave for finding yourself and choosing to follow your heart. that’s something to be proud of. a lot of people can’t do that. you went agaist a stream of hate and you survived. you didn’t give up. i’m proud of you. and you were born a man. a man who happens to be trans, but is a man nonetheless.

hi, sorry for the late reply, i haven’t been online for a long time.

you are absolutely a real man, a real boy even if and when you menstruate. what others think or say doesn’t matter. you’re valid and you’re a real man just as much as any cis man.

the binarity of gender and biological sex are reductive man-made concepts anyway. you don’t have to subscribe to them. what constitues a “real” or “fake” man/woman are all made up concepts that served a certain purpose in the structure of a society (and some of these purposes are very unethical). they’re not some truths in stone. so if you feel like a man and want to be a man, you are. go and live that truth. you’re a wonderful man who happens to have a period. you’re a real man.

sending love your way.

that is a very valid reason (not that there are any invalid reasons to wear the kind of underwear you want). i’m sorry your family is transphobic and that you have to keep living with them. i wish you the best!!! sending love!!!