blasting ‘i told you so i told you so i told you so i told you so i told you so’ on the airwaves at a pitch just nearly perceptible to the naked ear
schadenfreude doesn’t pay the bills but it sure does keep the heat on!
they want me to stop saying “love is love” to the losers of the tennis match
?????? rich people are losing it
to be clear, yes i would also do some of this if i had the money. im experiencing blinding envy over the dr pepper mirror dimension.
if people are mean to me i do not want you to tell them to commit suicide/suffer grievous bodily harm. this is because i am not insane like that
based on the frequency of calls ‘scam likely’ likes me more than you
funny, i’ve never been on the side of tiktok commenters before
New app idea: HeliKNo. It tells you why helicopters are currently circling in your area and if enough users click “Not a Good Enough Reason” they’re forced to land.
people acting like spanish is a secret code and not a language with 595+ million speakers
“This meeting could’ve been an email” except it’s “this 5000-note tumblr post could’ve been a diary entry you brought to your therapist to support a diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder.”
you guys think i’m gonna grovel to people who hate me? respectfully, do you know me at all?
come on now. i said you, specifically, don’t know how to read—although i guess i can’t fault you for misreading that
girl help the haters are failing intro to political theory
“are you being willfully obtuse?” [proceeds to say the most willfully obtuse nonsense i’ve ever had the misfortune to read]
peak