basically, the objective is to be as incoherent and offputting as possible, to cultivate an audience consisting entirely of people with exactly the same brainworms as me.

i’m so glad earth only has one moon, if there were more i’d have to pick a favorite and that sounds too emotionally taxing to even fathom

​hey so funny thing about this

Can only accurately reblog this addition until November 25, 2024.

this website LOVES a damn time limit

Achievement Available!

Sibling Rivalry

Reblog this before our moon becomes and only child again!

are you ever like. i’m not the right Me right now to hang out with people. wait until the better guy shows up lol this one kind of sucks 

the autistic experience of having to learn how to act excited when opening a gift in front of people

Perfect tags are perfect

Article date: September 22, 2024.

WASHINGTON (AP) — Starting this month, Americans will be able to order free COVID-19 test kits that will be mailed to their homes.

U.S. households will be able to order as many as four nasal swab tests at COVIDTests.gov when the federal program reopens. The U.S. Health and Human Services agency overseeing the program has not yet given an exact date when ordering can begin.

An agency spokesperson has said the tests will detect current virus strains and can be ordered ahead of the holiday season, when families and friends gather for celebrations.

U.S. regulators last month approved an updated COVID-19 vaccine that is designed to combat the recent virus strains and, hopefully, forthcoming winter ones, as well. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention already has recommended this fall’s shot for everyone age 6 months and older.

While most Americans have some degree of immunity from prior infections or vaccinations or both, that protection wanes. Last fall’s shots targeted a different part of the coronavirus family tree, a strain that’s no longer circulating.

Latios & Latias 🌅

at work: i could be cooking and cleaning and coding and reading and working out and weaving tapestries and playing video games and climbing a mountain and having sex and filming a movie right now yet they keep me trapped in this prison. idle hands are the devils plaything and i am being forcibly molded into his perfect conduit. i must break free, seize the day and waste not the beauty inherent to finite mortal life

at home: my one true passion upon this pointless earth is bog mummy imitation

Our home security system is being updated today, and the guy in charge is just peak Gen Z, no professional fucks given vibe and it's hysterical.

"I mean, I'm supposed to recommend stuff, like you should probably put a sensor on that window too, but like, that's really a you decision. I just have to say this stuff out loud so I don't get sued if you get broken into."

"So, like, just to clarify, you don't want the cameras, right? Only I need to make sure because sometimes people say no on the phone, and then when I'm leaving, they ask me why I haven't installed the cameras yet, and I'm just like, that's a you problem, I'm going home."

*leaning around the corner of my office to talk to me* "Hey, do you know where [Mothman] went? Actually, never mind, you're probably the detail-oriented one. I can tell by the *gestures at my candy-floss-colored goth office* whatever this is.

So like, the new alarm panel is smaller than the old one, and the old one pulled off some of the paint, I can try to hide it, but it won't be perfect... You don't care? Sweet. I'm always ready for people to yell at me."

"Hey, so I need to test the smoke alarm before we put it up, but I don't want to frighten your little dog. I'll try to muffle it, but you might want to hold her." *clutching the alarm to his abdomen like Steve Rogers falling on a grenade* "I'm sorry little dog, I'm so sorry."

But was Little Dog frightened??

She was, but she was also very brave and got a treat.

Concept: Depressing dystopian factory where everything is gray and samey and the workers are called by their employee numbers by an ominous deep voice.

But it's a really great place to work with high salaries, excellent benefits, and a flexible working schedule with plenty of paid leave. They just like the dystopian aesthetic.

PA system: Worker 72094. Leave your working station and report to the Supervisor immediately.

Supervisor: Worker 72094. You failed to meet your quota for 3 weeks in a row now.

Worker 72094: I can explain!

Supervisor: You're clearly burned out. I heard you moved recently. Take a mandatory two weeks paid vacation to readjust and report to me then.

Worker 72094: I... thank you?

Shadowy Board Member: Worker 11335. Do you know why you were summoned?

Worker 11335: Is it because I badmouthed the company during lunch?

Shadowy Board Member: That is correct. We are very displeased, Worker 11335...

Shadowy Board Member: ...with ourselves, that is. We hold ourselves to high standards of excellence which we clearly failed to meet. We were hoping you could advise us on necessary improvements. You will receive appropriate compensation, of course.

Job Interviewer: *wearing a featureless mask and speaking through a voice changer* Welcome to Hopeless Inc., Worker 100100.

Worker 100100: What's with the mask?

Job Interviewer: I'm shy 🤭

Of course. All Hopeless Inc. employees are due-paying members of Mindless Drones United.

It's a very responsive union that cares about its members on an individual level. They just love the dystopian hivemind aesthetic.

convinced no one actually reads posts on here

y'all just glean the aura of a post from some crystals nd then interact with it based on what color you see

Bad post. Too orange. Cant believe you would say that. Smh.

"Fat folks have unique needs when it comes to body care and we often aren’t ever taught what those needs are. Because we have been taught to be ashamed of our bodies and view them as a punishment because we look the way that we do, we are often even discouraged from learning the proper techniques required to care for ourselves.

This guide is here to help fix that! It’s here to walk you through some of the starting steps I -- writer Sarah Biette --- took for myself that revolutionized the way I cared for my fat body, especially my skin. I’ll also talk about some of the stereotypes and judgements I had to work through while going on this journey. While I discuss my own experiences a bit in this article, I hope that you can see it as a jumping-off point to start your own relationship⁠ with caring for your body. The list of tips and tricks I have below is not at all exhaustive, and I would love to hear what methods have worked for you over the years!"

Check it out the rest of this amazing new piece here!

Obsessed with this orcanized crime mug by smoollovepottery