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The embarrassing misunderstanding

M. Abdessalami Ironically, in the age of communication technology, we communicate poorly with each other. Due to several factors, often undefined; we could barely understand each other properly. We no longer communicate naturally the way we did before the age of technology. Different interpretations come into play when we listen to someone, and the message, no matter how innocent, undergoes endless interpretations depending on our mood, education, and other things. Therefore, we must listen carefully to each other and be patient so that communication can achieve a satisfactory result and lead to understanding or at least conciliation. We cannot use signs or emoji in a face-to-face conversation; we can only use patience, tolerance and good intention. These days, no one is patient or tolerant enough to listen attentively. Only a few of us are able to actively try to understand what others are saying. Unfortunately, misunderstandings get worse over time. Take for example the following simple incident to see what we mean, JOHN is talking to his little brother BEN, JOHN: We are having dinner at The Moon tonight, so can I please borrow your bike? BEN: Well, if my bike looks a rocket for you, take it, why not?! Are you kidding me? JOHN: “The Moon” is the name of the restaurant, you idiot! BEN: Oh sorry! Have a nice trip into space then. There are always several ways to avoid embarrassment, and asking for clarification is one of them. Expressing a lack of understanding is part of the function of language. There are different ways to express it and save face, but the safest of all is simply this: - Sorry, what was that again, please? 1 M. Abdessalami Speakers will certainly know that you are not asking them to repeat word for word what they said, but they will immediately understand that you have not fully understood the message and that you want them to paraphrase or expand on what they said, because you need to grasp exactly what they mean before you respond. Requests like this could save you a lot of embarrassment in front of other people, especially those bullying ones who would always remind you of the incident every time you meet them or when you want to be smart. Speakers will definitely paraphrase their message to make you understand the message with more clarity, which is very common in daily communication between people, regardless of their age, gender or education. What is the function of language if it couldn't connect people and put them on the same page in day-to-day interactions?! Today, we see strange phenomena among young people regarding their communication networks. They are not really interested in each other’s messages unless they are funny or contain something interesting. They often seem stupid in their replies or comments, but it is just fun for them. They are all used to it. Unless they can be patient enough to digest messages from their peers, the youth will certainly act the same way with official and professional messages. It will make no difference to them if they are ridiculed and humiliated. It is therefore mandatory that they learn to be patient in order to avoid any embarrassment and to be appreciated for their education and good manners. In the rare face-to-face conversations they have, some youths are so impatient that they often start interrupting and asking banal questions before they even understand what the subject is. They can't wait for their interlocutors to finish talking. In this way, not only do they put themselves in an awkward situation, but they also confuse their interlocutors who will be forced to rephrase or explain and use gestures just to calm them down to make them understand. The worst thing is that these people reject your idea thinking that theirs is the most correct, when in fact it is a fossilized and outdated idea. These people are very present on social networks, where people without knowledge think they can show educated people how to live, but in fact they reveal their natural idiocy. Some people choose to embarrass themselves when asking you personal questions. Answering them the way they deserve will shock them and it will be you who suddenly becomes indecent, not them. They are often called nosy, but in reality, they are rude and insolent. 2 M. Abdessalami You have to be careful about what you say and make sure that what you say is perfectly clear. It is essential to ask the right question to get the right answer. If you are asked a question, you must understand it correctly before you answer. This is how you will understand and be understood. Eloquence helps you avoid confusions in conversations. Language is unreliable and can lead to misunderstandings if you handle it incorrectly or carelessly. When you say something with a specific meaning in mind, it is not necessary for the listener to understand it the way you want them to. That is not enough, because it may sound and mean something different to the other person. Therefore, you need to be as specific as possible in order to avoid any misunderstandings and save yourself the embarrassment.  3 M. Abdessalami