Know Your Child
Why parents must know your child.
Your child is a unique personality with needs, wants, desire or drive and a list of traits and characteristics that may be consistent, change, or varies throughout the child's life with new experiences. Knowing your child's personality makes you an effective parent in guiding and nurturing your child. It will assist you to establish a relationship of mutual understanding, trust, and love with your child.
"If you know yourself and know your child, you will be successful in every effort you make to nurture your child.
If you know yourself but not your child, or you know your child but not yourself for every successful effort in parenting your child, there will be a failure.
If you do not know yourself, and do not know your child you are likely to fail in every effort of nurturing your child. "
Adapted from Sun Tsu Art of War
Not knowing your child particularly will create barriers between yourself and your child. Parents who do not know their child tends to impose their thoughts and values on their child and shape their child to what they want and not what the child wants. They do not give the child the choice and freedom to develop their hidden talents or potentials and to choose the path they want to be. Forcing or coercing the child to be what they want to be will have an adverse impact on the child personality, and his or her future. It is also the underlying cause of career misfit in the child's adult life.
KYKO personality profiling classifies your child's personality under its five dimensions and its ten personality types. The ten personality types are established from the high and the low of the five dimensions via self-actualization, egocentricity, socio-centricity, security, and complexity.
They are the high flier, the low achiever, the inherent leader, the subservient, the befriender, the loner, the play-safe type, the explorer, the street smart brat and the simple Simon. Below is a description of the pattern of behavior of the types of child.
High Self-actualization Personality – The High Flier
The high fliers have a high need for achievement. They take initiatives to understand the nature of things and how they work.
The high fliers want to score good grades. They pay attention in class and do all the homework assigned by their teachers. They spend their time in the library looking for reference materials. They use the internet to dig out materials that will help them to get good results in their examination.
The high fliers have a high desire for fulfillment. They get excited learning new things. They enjoy studying and get the satisfaction of getting good grades in their report cards.
The high fliers have high growth needs. They are keen to grow their potentials and are willing learners. They see learning as a process of seeking knowledge and skills to prepare them to face the world.
The high fliers have good thinking skills. They are trustworthy, considerate, and reasonable and appreciate others especially their parents and teachers who help them in the learning process.
The high fliers learn best by using their logical skills to understand concepts and theories presented by their teachers.
Low Self-Actualization Personality – The Low Achiever
The Low Achievers have a low need for achievement. They are handicapped in their psychological and mental disposition. They do not wish to accomplish anything and tend to cause problems wherever they go. They just wander along without a purpose in life.
The Low Achievers are not bothered chasing after good grades. They show no interest in their studies to understand the nature of things and how they work. They daydream in class and seldom do their homework assigned. They engage themselves in destructive deeds rather than focusing on their studies.
The Low Achievers have a low desire for fulfillment. They get bored learning new things. They hate schooling and use it as a playground to vent their frustration.
The Low Achievers have low growth needs. They are not interested to grow their potentials and are a reluctant learner. They see learning as a painstaking process and wish they could leave school earlier.
The Low Achievers are relatively unhealthy in their mental and psychological disposition. Apparently, they are trouble makers; difficult, destructive and problematic. They can become irrational, inconsiderate and engage themselves in dysfunctional activities.
High Egocentric Personality – The Inherent Leader
The inherent leaders are dominant and aggressive. They want to take charge, lead and control. They would compete to become the class monitor, head, and captain of societies, games, and clubs. Many of them in this group would take the initiative to stand for positions of power in school activities.
The inherent leaders are vocal, assertive and expressive. They do more talking than listening. They enjoy giving speeches and play the role of discussion leaders.
The inherent leaders have high self-confidence. They believe they can do better than their peers. They are determined to do their level best to win in a competition.
The inherent leaders have a low tolerance for ambiguities. They are impatient and are likely to lose their cool when provoked.
The inherent leaders have a high need for self-image. They seek awards and recognition from the school authorities. They enjoy being in the limelight.
The inherent leaders are courageous. They will voice out in a conflict. When they feel that they are unjustly treated, they will stand up to defend their rights.
The inherent leaders are motivated by strokes and praises. They resent criticisms and negative feedback from others especially their teachers.
The inherent leaders learn best by talking, directing, dictating and leading others in a discussion.
Low Egocentric Personality – The Subservient
The subservient students have a low desire or need for power, image, status, recognition, and control. They shy away from holding a position of power in school activities.
The subservient students are gentle, soft, meek and reserved. They lack self-confidence and are fearful when others propose them to take the lead.
The subservient students are accommodative and receptive to others' demands. They prefer to yield and follow others' directive.
The subservient students lack the courage to speak up their mind in a conflict even if they know they are going to lose out. They would rather give in than fight for their rights.
The subservient students lack determination and the will power. They will raise the white flag against challenges from their opponents.
The subservient students have a high level of tolerance. They remain cool and calm under provocation.
The subservient students are shy and timid. They are scared to ask their teacher even though they don't understand a lesson. They learn best by observation and listening.
High Sociocentric Personality – The Befriender
The befrienders have a high need for love, care, affiliation comradeship and social interactions. They are extroverted, friendly and gregarious.
The befrienders have a deep well for feelings. They get excited easily and would express their feelings of joy and sorrow visibly.
The befrienders make friends easily. They care for their friends and would lend a helping hand to them in times of need.
The befrienders treasure friendship. They need company and would feel bored when they are alone.
The befrienders enjoy partying and social functions. They would be the first to go around introducing themselves to others.
The befrienders are emotional and sensitive. They will shed tears while watching a sad movie.
The befrienders are compassionate and empathetic. There will be there to help and give support to a friend in deep trouble.
The befrienders prefer to study in groups to studying alone. They are interactive learners. They learn best by sharing and exchanging concepts, ideas, and notes in a group discussion.
Low Socio-centric Personality – The Loner
The loners have a low need for affection, comradeship and social interaction. They are introverted, aloof, detached and impersonal.
The loners have a shallow well for feelings. They are quiet and reserved. They find difficulties in expressing their feelings of affection and care for others.
The loners lack compassion and empathy. They have difficulties putting themselves in others' shoes. They don't like to pry into others' business. As a result, others perceive them as cold and insensitive.
The loners lack the desire for comradeship. They seldom mix and prefer to engage themselves in solidarity activities.
The loners avoid parties and social functions. When they are obliged to attend a function, they will sit in a corner and would not take the initiative to introduce themselves.
The loner is an inhibited learner. They prefer to do self-study than a group discussion. They learn best alone in a quiet place without distraction.
High-Security Personality – The Play Safe Type
The play safe students have a high need for safety, order, and protection. They want to live a life with no stormy seas.
The play safe students obey the school rules and regulations strictly. They are well disciplined and do not want to get into trouble with the school authorities.
The play safe students have a plan for their studies. They schedule their daily activities and know what they are going to do next.
The play safe students enjoy studying concrete facts and figures. They are good at science and mathematics.
The play safe students are meticulous, neat and organized. They arrange their things in an orderly manner. They check their homework thoroughly before they pass their assignments and are on time.
The play safe students do not take risks. They avoid haphazard and dangerous activities.
The play safe students make use of their senses to learn things. They are hands-on learners and enjoy practical work.
They learn best by doing, fixing and repairing things.
Low-Security Personality – The Explorer
The explorers have a low need or desire for safety, order, system, and protection. They are adventurous, seek new experiences and like to experiment with things.
The explorers resent being regulated by rules, regulations, and procedures. They want the freedom to do what they like. They enjoy traveling and outdoor activities.
The explorers are independent, impulsive and spontaneous. They do things as they come. They are the happy go lucky type free from mundane worries.
The explorers take high risks. They look for adventures and sensation seeking experiences.
The explorers seldom prepare a timetable for their studies. They study when they have the mood.
The explorers are poor housekeepers. They are disorganized and untidy. They throw things around and have a cluttered desk.
The explorers are forgetful. They need reminders to do their homework.
The explorers do not have savings. They are generous with their money. They enjoy giving surprises to their friends on special occasions. They often go broke.
The explorer learns best by experimenting, exploring and doing field work.
High Complexity Personality – The Street Smart Brat
The street smart brats have a high need for survival and growth. They are informative, shrewd, intelligent, inquisitive and witty. They know many ways of dealing with situations. They can adapt, change and influence others to get what they want.
The street smart brats know how to win the hearts of their teachers and get into the good books of the school authorities. In times of difficulties, they can wriggle out of their predicaments.
The street smart brats are intuitive. They can size up their schoolmates. They are persuasive, convincing and are good at influencing and using their friends to meet their hidden motives.
The street smart brats study strategically. They don't study all the topics in a subject. They are good at analyzing past year questions and anticipate the possible topics that will appear in the examinations. Often they are right in spotting the right questions.
The street smart brats are good at analytical skills. They enjoy playing chess and working on puzzles. In class, they grasp the topics of a lesson by looking at the overall picture. They learn best by analyzing and solving problems.
Low Complexity Personality – The Simple Simon
Simple Simons have a low need for survival and growth. They are naïve, gullible, over trusting and are susceptible to the influence of others.
Simple Simons are docile and inflexible. They know one fixed way of dealing with situations.
Simple Simons are vulnerable. They are frank, open and self-revealing. Others can spot their weaknesses and make use of them to their advantage.
Simple Simons cannot adapt, change and influence others to get what they want. Instead, they can be easily influenced and used by others.
Simple Simons are blunt when they interact with others. They express their displeasure and anger when they disagree with others. Often they get into deep trouble and conflicts with their friends, teachers and the school authorities.
Simple Simons are a straightforward learner. They memorize everything the teachers say with little understanding of a lesson. They learn best by rote memory. In an examination, they will regurgitate the notes and things they were taught.
Apparently, knowing your child will enable you to understand yourself better and to become more empathetic and sensitive to the needs and behavioral tendencies when you communicate with your child. In addition, it will help you to identify the aptitude, potentials, strengths and improvement needs of your child for you to nurture and put your child on the right track in your upbringing.