64 Sexting Ideas to Seriously Upgrade Your Sext Life

IMHO, few things are hotter than a heated sexting session. While the concept might seem simple enough (and, granted, it’s not, like, organic chemistry), it truly takes finesse and skill to perfect the art of le sext. And tbh, improving your sexting game can do wonders for your relationship, your self-esteem, and—duh—your sex life.

“Sexting is an amazing way to connect with your partner, whether you're in a long-distance relationship or just going about your separate days,” says sex expert, audio erotica creator, and the content director of Bloom, Jaimee Bell. “It’s like sharing a little secret only the two of you know.”

Beyond it just being super hot, Elizabeth Dell, a certified sex educator and founder of the relationship intimacy app Amorus, says sending (and receiving!) these sexy exchanges is one of the best ways to explore intimacy, pleasure, and sex as a whole.

“Sexting is talking about pleasure with the person of your choice,” she explains. “It’s great for getting turned on, heating up your partner, playing with fantasy, releasing sexual tension, learning what excites you both, and exploring new ideas in a safe space (before you do anything ‘for real’).” It’s also a low-pressure way to discuss boundaries, which is crucial for allll aspects of a relationship (not just the sexy ones).

Another huge plus: Sexting has the potential to instantly make an ordinary day a little less mundane. “There's something so exciting about sending and receiving naughty messages while running errands or sitting at your desk,” Bell enthuses. “It adds a spark to the everyday routine.”

Before you click send, though, keep reading for everything you need to know about being the best sexter around, from getting consent to crafting the most sexually charged conversation your mobile provider’s ever seen…

What Is Sexting?

Basically, sexting (a portmanteau of “sex” and “texting") is exactly what it sounds like: the practice of exchanging sexy text messages with someone with the intention of getting each other all horned up.

While the concept is pretty straightforward, it can be a little confusing to try to narrow down what, exactly, constitutes a sext. Is it just photos and videos? Sultry, descriptive paragraphs that are basically erotic literature? Horny emojis? Are voice messages getting involved??

According to Jasmine Akins, a sexual health educator at CAN Community Health, it all counts. “Sexting is sending any sexual material (images, messages, memes, gifs, voice memos, etc.) via cell phone, email, instant message, DM (you get the idea),” she explains. So if it’s digital and sexy in nature—whether that’s via words or pics in your fave lingerie—it’s a sext.

So, yes, pretty much anything can be a sext. But what makes for a *good* sext? In our opinion, if you’re being honest and enthusiastic about what turns you on, chances are you’re probably already killing the sext game. That said, if you’re in the market for a little sexting inspiration, look no further. We have tons of hot sexting ideas that are just waiting to be sent to your lucky sext partner. But before we tell you *what* to send, there are a few things you need to keep in mind to help keep everything safe, consensual, and, ofc, sexy for everyone involved.

6 Expert-Approved Sexting Tips

1. Always ask for consent

Before you start snapping nudes, Akins says to make sure the other person is comfortable receiving your sexts in the first place. “Permission to send, permission to receive, and permission to continue sending and receiving are so important,” she says.

“Bring up that you want to explore sexting with your partner, [and] make sure you are comfortable sexting as well. You never should feel pressured to engage in sexting behavior.” (And if someone is putting on the pressure, consider that to be a major red flag and ditch them. Seriously.)

Another small but important note: Just because you got the go-ahead to sext once doesn’t mean you have a free pass to send explicit images at any time (unless that was already discussed). Again, you should be asking for consent every time, and always respect a partner’s boundaries or wants if they’re busy or not interested in sexting at that time.

Also remember that just like any type of in-person sex, you can change your mind about sexting at any time—even if you consented at the beginning, says Akins.

The best way to prevent any uncomfortable moments or transgressions is to continuously check in with your partner. It doesn't have to be complicated. In fact, it can literally be as simple as asking, "Do you like that?" or "How do you feel when I tell you I want to do this to you?"

2. Discuss your boundaries and what you'll do with the sexts afterward

Important things to talk about prior to getting dirty: Will you delete the messages immediately after the conversation, or is it okay to keep them on your phone? Is there anything you really do (or don’t) want to sext about? Are you comfortable receiving written texts? What about photos? What about audio messages?

Establish what you and your partner are and aren’t looking for in the sexy exchange to keep things fun and not creepy. Dell also says picking your sexting platform carefully is key here. You want to make sure you’re on a secure app that doesn’t download your photos, save them to your library/cloud, and has a secure privacy policy, especially if you’re sexting with someone new. (Tip: Try the Amorus app or Signal for a worry-free and safe sexting experience.)

3. Make your intentions clear

Before going down the sexting path, it’s important to make sure you’re on the same page regarding what, exactly, the sexts mean. Are you just flirty friends passing the time or are you looking for something more?

Sexting is still a form of intimacy, and it’s important to only engage in the activity with people you trust. Being open about what the interaction means will help ensure everything remains fun and consensual. In other words, if you're only looking for something casual or a FWB thing, make sure that's clear.

4. Ask questions!

Dell says this is her number-one, most important sexting tip. “When you ask a question, you tell your partner that their opinion, thoughts, and pleasure matter to you,” she explains. “It also lets them set their comfort level—if their reply is tame or wild, you’ll see what vibe they are feeling.”

In addition to establishing and maintaining consent throughout your convo, asking questions can also keep the conversation going and help you learn more about what turns your partner on. And because sexting—like all forms of sex, TBH—can occasionally have some awkward moments, a well-placed question like, “What makes that hot for you?” can even help you out when you find yourself unsure of how to respond.

5. Double-check before sending anything

You’ve heard the stories—a sext accidentally got sent to the parents when it was supposed to be sent to...well, not the parents. Akins says to always ensure you’re sending to the right recipient and turning off any automatic downloads. The last thing you want is your pics accidentally getting saved—or worse, uploaded to the “family photos” folder on your computer.

With all that being said, don’t stress! Remember, sexting is supposed to be fun. And if you do find yourself in an awkward sexting situation, Dell says your best possible bet is to simply be honest with your sext partner about what you’re feeling. “When you acknowledge that you’re both human and not going to be movie-perfect, you both have room to make mistakes, to laugh at yourselves, and to experiment—and that’s where the good stuff really happens,” she explains.

6. Take your time building the heat

While it might seem like the secret to sexting is to go from 0-100 like *that,* sometimes building the anticipation is half the fun. Bell suggests kicking the convo off with something playful like, “I’ve been thinking about you all night.” This will let you gauge their mood (even after you get consent, ofc).

“Once you get the green light, drop another teasing text, then switch back to casual conversation,” she says. “Keep them guessing; the slower you build the tension, the hotter it gets.” Try teasing with flirty texts throughout the day to let things simmer, then when things get to an explosive level, move the convo IRL or to FaceTime to finish things off.

If you're ready for some inspiration, feel free to copy any of the very real sexting ideas we've rounded up for you below. We could not make these up if we tried, and trust, they are guaranteed to get the conversation going…

65 Hot Sexting Ideas

1. Doctor's orders

2. The classic knock-knock joke

3. The v good dream

4. Just a random Q!

5. The basic "I wish you were here" (a solid way to get things going)

6. The most honest reply

7. The best kind of sack lunch

8. The perfect wakeup call

9. A threesome in the making

10. Say my name, say my name

11. The perfect dinner date

12. The "fluent in emojis" sext

13. When eye contact is key

*Stella

14. The one who takes notes

15. Always a fan of flattery sexts

16. The classic office fantasy

Courtney*

17. The one that makes 69ing tres sexy

18. One confused but charming "Netflix and chill"

19. The straight-up tease

20. Some intense kissing

Jenna*

21. An LDR fave

22. The animalistic sext

23. A father figure

24. Le short 'n' sweet

25. The only surprise visitor you're not annoyed about

26. The one with some impressive choreography

*Alessandra

27. The third fantasy

28. The woman who wants to give ~and~ receive

29. The anticipating dick appointment

30. The seamless "Let's bring toys into the bedroom" sext

31. ...And another confirming that toys are an absolute must

32. The offer for a sexy all-nighter

33. Uh, close the door please

*Marissa

34. The chair that...needs to be sat on

35. Some much-needed chest attention to get your day going

36. The smirking emoji that loves doggy style

37. When sexting meets phone sex

Jordan*

38. The eager planner

39. The role-play connoisseur

40. The detailed texter

41. The bondage pro

42. The person who wants to control your PTO days

43. The looooonnng, descriptive texter (but we stan because it’s actually hot?)

44. The tease

45. The man who likes to flex his height (but we’re here for it!)

46. The morning text that is literally so sexy

47. The *perfect* way to sext your fantasy of a doggy-style position

48. The “constantly horny” for your eyeballs fetishist

49. A hot-take on how to make the memories sexy

50. This person who knows exactly what you want

51. This dreamboat

52. Hello to only this hot, work-day fantasy

53. The texter that knows brevity is a must

54. Some messages that'll make you go "yessss, please."

55. Shower is foreplay only inspo

56. The person who is absolutely marriage material

57. This woman knows WHAT IS UP

58. The person who wants to reassure you through everything

59. The person who isn’t sure if they'll do all the things they mention in the sext, but just want to give you a heads up

60. The author who would like to write a sexy—yet, very serious—novel at some point, but sexting is good for now

61. The traditional sexts

62. Specifics on how to masturbate, which is actually low-key hot?

63. The emoji sexter

64. The basic sexter who has put a lot of time and energy into planning

Rachel Varina

Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries). She has over 10 years of editorial experience with bylines at Women's Health, Elite Daily, Betches, and more. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she's not testing out new sex toys (100+ and counting so far!), she's likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip. Ideally at the same time. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.