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20 Blow Job Sex Positions That’ll Help You Both Get Yours
Make oral sex the main event with one (or all!) of these ideas.
Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones might have proclaimed that “they don’t call it a job for nothing,” but blow jobs don’t have to feel like a ton of work. The giver should enjoy the experience just as much as the receiver, says Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Fleshy and author of Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject. For one, there’s a heady (pun intended) mix of psychological pleasures to explore when you’re performing oral on someone with a peen. “The submission or dominance (it could really go either way; you're pleasing your partner, but their pleasure is completely in your hands—or, er, your mouth), the cock worship aspect, and the ability to see, feel, smell, and most of all, taste your partner up close, as well as hearing their reactions,” says Weiss. A feast to the senses if there ever was one!
But no one could blame you if you’re in search of a more, ahem, physical way to get yours, too…and that’s where we come in! These blow job sex positions offer lots of opportunities for clitoral stimulation, grinding, optimal vibrator placement, and more. “Figure out what you most enjoy, and make sure you’re getting that!” says Weiss.
It’s also important to note that if there are parts of the “job” you’re not feeling, you don’t have to do them. There’s tons of room for exploration, so you and your partner can try to find a workaround if you, say, hate getting on your knees or have a really sensitive gag reflex. You can enjoy licking around the shaft and head, use your hands, or turn your mouth to the side and let the head of the penis press against the inside of your cheek, says sex and couples’ therapist Sara Sloan, LMFT, CST, owner of Austin Concierge Therapy. And if you don’t like swallowing, cover the head of the penis with your hand as they ejaculate to redirect the flow, says Sloan.
Still worried you’re gonna suck at sucking? Just remember that being enthusiastic and willing to learn is half the battle. The hottest tip for giving a blow job is simply….give a blow job! Watch your partner to gauge how it’s working, and you’re golden. “Look up at them with their penis in your mouth,” says Rachael Zevecke, sex hacker and female empowerment coach. “It's a sexy way to check in and see the lust in their eyes.”
Once you’re in the right headspace (read: ready and excited to give your penis-having partner the best beej ever), try these blow job sex positions on for size—both of you will benefit, trust.
The Throne
Cock worship is a common kink wherein the worshipper is obsessed with and in awe of their partner’s penis—receiving it in every which way and indulging in their cum. The throne position appeals to that very fantasy, since, to perform it, you’re kneeling in front of your partner, explains Weiss. “They sit in the chair with their legs a bit spread, and you kneel between their legs underneath the chair as if you’re worshipping them.” If you want an extra spectacular grand finale, get a penis stroker attachment that fits over a wand vibrator. After you’ve done your cock-worshipping, that wand is all for you.
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The Mermaid
A quick and easy way to shake things up is just to change venues. Don’t believe us? Report to your nearest (private!) pool. “The person receiving the blowjob can sit on the ledge, and the giver can stand in the water, between their partner's legs,” says Weiss. “Obviously, make sure you aren't someplace where you can get caught; doing this in public (especially around kids) could have legal consequences!” What does this do for you besides simply providing the joy of giving? Angle your vulva in front of a water jet and you shall see.
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Enter: The Kivin Method—usually described as a position for cunnilingus where the giver approaches from the side, but it can just as easily be a blowjob position, says Weiss. Just kneel at your partner’s side (as opposed to head-on) and you’re good to go. “This creates a slightly different angle and sensation and also makes it easy for one hand to play with the balls. Since you're a bit higher up than you'd be if you were between your partner's legs, your hands are also a bit freer to touch other parts of their body.” If you want to sit on a vibrator, you know, for comfort, no one’s gonna complain!
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The Benchwarmer
Take advantage of a shower for wet BJ. “Use the bench to help provide some easy, hands-free action,” says Sloan. (If your shower is sadly bench-free, totally fine to stand.) “If you have a waterproof toy or a removable shower wand, this position also allows you a hand to simultaneously take care of yourself. You can also allow the water to enter your mouth providing additional sensations, as well as an easy clean up.”
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The Sweet 16
Having BJ stress? Fear not! “The sweet 16 is an easy position that works well for anyone with anxiety around giving a blow job,” says Sloan. “With your back to your partner’s face, it blocks the view, preventing the receiver from seeing what the giver is doing, for anyone shy about being watched.” Even if you’re the farthest thing from BJ shy, this is still very worth trying. “It provides the ideal anatomical angle for going deep and allows you to have both hands free, which is especially helpful for anyone working with a larger penis.”
The Sidecar
How lazy can you be? Sidecar lazy. “This is a relaxed way to give a blow job without the giver ever having to get out of bed,” says Sloan. “The giver can use one hand to hold and direct the penis into their mouth, while controlling the thrusting movement by holding on to their partner’s behind with their other hand. This is ideal for lazy Sunday mornings or for anyone with limited movement.” If you want to be even lazier—yes, it can be done!—have receiving partner do the thrusting. Fire up a rabbit toy and revel in your ingenuity.
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The B (and P) Job
If your partner is into it, incorporate the P-spot. You can use your finger to gently tap or stroke the upper wall of the anus as you suck on their penis. If they want more stimulation, try a vibrating prostate toy that you or your partner can maneuver. Give yourself some pleasure as well by sitting on a vibrator.
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The Loveseat Wishbone
Put your legs over the back of a sturdy sofa or loveseat and hang upside down while your partner kneels in front of the sofa. “This position is such a winner because it aligns the direction of the giver’s throat with the natural direction of the erection. "It’s very easy to deep throat in this position,” says Victoria Thomas, former columnist for Cosmopolitan Bedside Astrologer.
The Bend Over and Blow
“Aspiring Dominants, take note: this position is all about control. While your partner lies on their back, stand beside the bed with your legs hip-width apart and bend over to take them in your mouth. Maximize the power dynamic by keeping your clothes on while they lie in front of you naked and vulnerable,” says Riccio. “Variations include tying your partner to the headboard, gagging them, tickling their feet, or placing a firm hand over their face while you blow their junk and mind. This is an ideal time to break out your panty vibe, allowing your partner to operate the remote only when they've been very, very good.”
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The Duck and Cover
If you don't like to swallow, set expectations by saying something like, “I want you to cum on my...” whatever—boobs, stomach, left elbow, etc. Keep the communication going throughout (watch their body, listen to their breathing, just ask how close they are, etc...) to make sure their Life Force goes where you want it to. For this, try a more traditional position so you can help direct the flow. (A wearable vibrator will put this position over the top for you.)
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The Face F*ck
For a more hard-core, power dynamics situation, your partner can straddle your face and, basically, give themselves a blowjob by thrusting into your mouth. If this is too much—and no worries if so, it's not for everyone!—curl your hand around their shaft as a buffer to control how deep they go. With the other hand, you can masturbate or use a toy. (BTW: A thrusting toy is great here 'cause it kinda mirrors what's going on with your mouth.)
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"Lier's" Poker
If you're feeling lazy yet generous, bring the task at hand to you by sitting back on a stack of pillows. Your mouth attends to the BJ-ing while your hands are free to touch yourself or, even easier, lie back and let a toy handle you.
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The Prop Engine
Use the power of physics and prop a largish vibrator between a mattress and box springs or the cushion and frame of a soft couch or chair. The toy will tend to you (thrusting against it is sexy too) and you'll have your hands free to add to that glorious on-your-knees BJ you're giving.
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The Hump and Blow
If you're a humper, prop a pillow between your legs, slip a lubed hand down between your legs and slide back and forth over it as you suck on your partner. If you need more power, invest in a toy mount that will hold a Magic Wand or DIY it and stick a lil something between two pillows, pressing them together with your knees.
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The Yin Yang Edge
Avoid that weird 69 zone where you're simultaneously giving and receiving yet not doing either properly by trading off. Torture your partner by bringing them juuuuust to the brink of orgasm, then switch. (High fives optional.) Lie in a sideways 69 position so that when the other person cuts you off, you barely have to move to immediately translate all your passion back to them via your mouth.
The Double-Down
Have them stand and strip their pants off. Kneel before them, kissing your way up their inner thigh, giving them time to appreciate the always-glorious moment of "Oh my god, this gorgeous person is about to suck my dick!" As you go to town on them, ride gently on a dildo or press a vibrator against yourself. You may want to look into a rabbit-style dildo vibe with an attached part that buzzes against your clit, if you're into both internal and external stimulation.
Open Wide and Say "Ahhhh"
For something raunchier (and waaaaaay more satisfying) than 69, raise your hips up and away from their mouth and let them use their fingers or a favorite toy on your parts. This is great for you (see: previous sentence with the fingers and/or toy) and pretty insane for them as well. Between the upside-down BJ and completely hot close-up view of your naughty bits, you are making memories, aka future masturbation fodder.
The Slider
If you're in plain ol' BJ position but get too turned on and need to do something for yourself—like, right away—straddle one of your partner’s thighs and grind against their leg. This is extra amazing if you are wet and they can feel your slipperiness as you rub on them. Gently stimulating your clit with their body will make you happier than just bobbing up and down.
The Mouth Off
If you like to play with power dynamics, lie on your back and let your partner mount your mouth, with their head pointed toward your feet. If they support their body weight with their arms, you are free to do what you please with your hands. Work your fingers between your legs and go to town—any additional moans you may let out are a bonus for your partner in this position. When you're surrendering control of the depth of penetration, make sure you let your partner know if they’re going too deep or you don’t love it. This one is ideal for people who enjoy rough play.
The Stick Shift
Sometimes seeing your partner get super hard for you gives you the overwhelming urge to hop on that thing. So do it. Climb aboard for a few long, slow sexy thrusts before sliding off and taking your partner in your mouth again. If you're both into the tastes of sex, they will absolutely love seeing you taste yourself on them. Alternate using your mouth and riding them, as needed, guiding their hand to your clit when you're on their lap. Alternating will also make them last longer, which benefits everyone.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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