Poetic Reflections: The Queen Of Hats: Poetic Reflections, #2
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About this ebook
Volume Two of the POETIC REFLECTIONS book series, THE QUEEN OF HATS is packed with craziness as well as eerie and thoughtful pieces. Chapters are framed by thirteen eccentric or brooding columns, followed by a rich array of additional content for each theme. Lori's writing style is wildly original and evocative, providing much to think about in this sequel to KEEP THE HEART OF A CHILD. The print edition includes black-and-white illustrations done by the author.
Lori R. Lopez
Lori R. Lopez wears many hats as an Author and Speculative Poet of Horror, Fantasy, Suspense, Humor and more. She illustrates her books and has written songs, while being an Activist for animals and children. Growing up, Lori roamed graveyards and conducted funerals for dead birds, squirrels, insects and spiders. Her offbeat books include The Dark Mister Snark, Leery Lane, An Ill Wind Blows, Darkverse: The Shadow Hours, Odds & Ends, and The Fairy Fly. In 2023 Lori won Third Place in the Long Category for the SFPA Poetry Contest for "Wake Unto Death". Her Poetry Collection Darkverse was nominated for an Elgin Award and a Finalist in the Kindle Book Awards. Her poems "Crop Circles" and "Nocturnal Embers" were nominated for the Rhysling Award in 2020, "Social Graces" and "The Whistle Stop" in 2021, "Biting Sarcasm" in 2022, "The Whippoorwill" and "If Houses Could Talk" in 2023. Poems "The Maw" and "creatures of the macabre" received Editor's Choice Awards among other honors. Stories and verse have appeared in The Sirens Call, The Horror Zine, Space & Time, Spectral Realms, JOURN-E, Weirdbook, Bewildering Stories, Dreams & Nightmares, Impspired, Altered Reality, Aphelion, and anthologies such as California Screamin' (the Foreword Poem), HWA Poetry Showcases II, III, V, VI, and IX, Journals Of Horror, Grey Matter Monsters, Dead Harvest, Fearful Fathoms I, Terror Train I and II, Trickster's Treats #3, Speculations III (Weird Poets Society), and In Darkness We Play. A member of the Horror Writers Association, Science Fiction & Fantasy Poetry Association, and Lewis Carroll Society Of North America. Visit the Fairy Fly Entertainment Website Lori shares with her two talented sons, and their YouTube Channel @FairyFly. They have a Folk Band called The Fairyflies.
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Poetic Reflections - Lori R. Lopez
poetic reflections
the queen of hats
by Lori R. Lopez
Author’s Draft
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any
media without written permission from the author, except
brief excerpts in critical reviews and articles.
This is a work of fiction. Any and all references to real persons, events, and places are used fictitiously. Other characters, names, places, events and details are fabrications of the author’s imagination; any such resemblance to actual places, events or persons, whether living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2014 by Lori R. Lopez
Artwork by Lori R. Lopez
Smashwords Edition
Fairy Fly Entertainment
A collection of very unusual verse, ranging from wacky to dark to narrative. Lori R. Lopez writes her own way, whether poetry or prose. This book contains both in an odd yet artful balance.
Volume Two of the POETIC REFLECTIONS book series, THE QUEEN OF HATS is packed with craziness as well as eerie and thoughtful pieces. Chapters are framed by thirteen eccentric or brooding columns, followed by a rich array of additional content for each theme. Lori's writing style is wildly original and evocative, providing much to think about in this sequel to KEEP THE HEART OF A CHILD. The print edition includes black-and-white illustrations done by the author.
What is an Author’s Draft? It is an original concept devised by Lori R. Lopez: The author’s true voice; the author’s pure and untampered vision, preserving her idiosyncracies and eccentric stylings!
contents
foreceps . . .
1. unstructured
2. scrambled
3. hatitude
4. the root of all fear
5. gothic
6. tanks
7. yuleogy
8. the years
9. intricacies
10. happy endings
11. thoughtlessness
12. Nothing!
13. reverie
belated
about the author
A Word Or Few
To my
fellow poets and dreamers,
the moody kindred brooding souls
like me
in a world of stone and steel
who beat like butterfly wings
against the cold hard truth
of Reality . . .
herein lies a dark perspective
born of shadows,
the shade on a brighter day,
the grays that slide beneath
clouds that flicker
between rays of gilded sun;
that is where
you will find me,
or scratching in the early hours
of the morning
from nightfall to dawn,
nocturnal —
that is when I dream
awake.
foreceps
and other ways to snag your curiosity or grab your attention, snatch your interest (I couldn’t decide so I called it all of the above since this is just a title and it doesn’t have to be short or long or anywhere in between; I think I’m done now)
Oh, I can’t just put a title as the preamble? Are you sure? Come on, you’re making that up, right? You’re not kidding? Really. Well, that is news to me. I saw nothing about this in the preamble for the monthly memo from The Preamble Society. I think they would have let me know if they were changing the rules. Not that I heed the rules, necessarily. I don’t find it necessary in either my poetry or my prose; why then would I begin in this preamble to my second collection of verse?
Actually, it contains some prose but that isn’t the point. I’ve lost track of the point at the moment. I’m sure it will return like a boomerang to whack me in the head.
Probably just when I’ve finished preambling, but that’s beside the point too. Oh great, now I’ve broken the point like a pencil lead. I hate when that happens!
Excuse me while I go sharpen my point for the next preamble I might possibly wish to write. In the next volume of verse or other. I don’t know, it could happen. I may need a point eventually.
Sorry, we’ll have to skip the preamble entirely. It has gotten away from me, causing a good deal of wincing on my part I might add, perhaps even some eye-rolling or twitching or ticking or tickling, so I feel it is best to simply move on and get to the point elsewhere. Somewhere in this book. Keep turning pages and you could find it. Hopefully. Go ahead. Nobody’s stopping you. Hop along.
(I feel I need to clarify that this isn’t the preamble. I think you’ve missed the point. Wait, I forgot there is no point. Nevermind.)
Okay, my hair is in knots from this very tangled prefatory clash. I do love a good prefatory clash, of course, but not when I am not prepared for one.
I can’t help feeling we have gotten off to the wrong start on the worst foot, or something to that effect. Whatever I mean, let’s skip ahead to the better part if there is any.
Kindly ignore the aforementioned mentionings, if you don’t mind. And if you do mind, whoop-de-do.
~ the poetaster, I mean poetess
(yes, that’s what I mean)
1
unstructured
(Original Publication Date on
Trilllogic Innoventions: June 28, 2010)
i waited all month for this column to zap me with a bolt of inspiration as they’re apt to do until i had nearly despaired with three days left in june
as luck or fate would have it the theme snuck up furtively and i was thinking about it before i even knew that it was the theme of my next poetry column
pretty sneaky if you ask me
but there it was inside my head at the usual inopportune moment
the words that occurred fled and I found myself at my desk typing a description of the event like an aftermath or afterword only it isn’t
it’s more of a beginning
this is my first column that hasn’t been crammed inside my volume of verse ‛poetic reflections keep the heart of a child’
the only thing I managed to retrieve from that rushent gush of lines in one ear and out the other whispered by my muse was a single term
unstructured
which is the theme of course
so i now have to stare at the word and contemplate why it’s here
what it’s doing on my page
i assume it has something to do with the abandonment of structure
wow that is really brilliant even for me
it’s also very different for me because i tend to be a stickler for structure and adore things like paragraph indents and punctuation and capitalization yet here i am typing without the aid of those conventions which feels incredibly brave and reckless
not to mention slightly peculiar
not that there’s anything wrong with peculiarity because i rather enjoy being peculiar myself as you must know if you’ve read any of my more peculiar poems
but this truly is a stretch since i am a big fan of accuracy and correctitude when it comes to particular aspects of language and writing
other aspects i just toss out the window
it’s especially difficult for me to type the pronoun i without hitting shift
yes that takes tremendous willpower
eccentric a writer though i am i do cling to certain traditions as you can see since i have not been able to bring myself to let go of the apostrophe
i just can’t seem to pry it from my feeble grasp
oh well at least i’m doing fairly well for a scribbler as bound to the tools of writing while breaking most of the rules
and here i am shattering some more
look ma no hands i’m typing with my feet
okay not actually
i can’t lift my legs that high
and i still can’t recall the words i was supposed to write
i am left with one profound thought in my head with which to compose a poem
it’s a good thing my volume of verse is already being released or i’d have probably stuffed this into it too
no no that’s not appropriate for a poem so i must think of another profound thought
it’s tougher than i thought
i’m sure i had some earlier
oh well as usual i must pen my next poem without a single thought in my head
at least that hasn’t changed
great now i’m getting deja vu as if i don’t have enough to deal with
it’s so creepy i’ll just have to write a poem about it
unstructured
how does one communicate
with only words to use
no question marks or commas
is likely to confuse
and yet some poets manage
errant writers do as well
for me it’s very hard you see
but at least i can still spell
i won’t give up apostrophes
and spaces between terms
i shun the lack of paragraphs
as much as i hate germs
yet here i am composing
in verse and also rhyme
if i release my inhibitions
it wouldn’t be a crime
to let my spirit free
unleash my fuddydud restraint
set inner beasties loose and wild
i feel a little faint
somewhere it has to end
it’s getting too informal
without a dot to punctuate
how can my thoughts be normal
i don’t know where it’s going
it’s running quite away
i’m hanging on to what i can
of this swervent come what may
if i ever find my style again
i will be more cautious after
not to take such risks or if i do
i will have to face the laughter
yet isn’t that what i’m about
stepping out upon a limb
i like to tread where ice is frail
the ledge narrow as a whim
i prefer to challenge not accept
experiment and improvise
to try new things at least for me
incorporate surprise
or else creativeness could turn
prosaic moldy witless stale
i guess i’ll keep exploring
there’s more than one right trail
the broken dawn
an indescribable thing occurred
like the silence in a yawn
an awakening of my soul
at the breakening of dawn
right on that ecliptic precipice
the instant morning splits from night
i poised for just a second
on the edge of dark and light
it’s a fine line that we seldom glimpse
in a glance or in a stare
we can’t touch it with a fingertip
for it almost isn’t there
as i stood inside a tornado
the unblinking eye of a hurricane
air furiously hurled around me
yet all was frozen calm and sane
things pass before us every day
too swift for consciousness to grip
we cross such lines without a thought
until our step should slip
and we falter in that space between
out of balance gone too soon
far too fleet to even ponder
if we hear an eerie tune
next time i’ll take a picture
so i’ll know that i was in
the middle of the broken dawn
where the day is very thin
even slimmer than the break of dusk
when afternoon melts to sunset
more startling is the change of guard
when the rays arise from jet
as my eyes adjusted black to white
at the glare of mornful contrast
something wept in me for I could see
the division of present and past
in that tweenfold glean i understood
what such moments represent
a chance to pause on the verge of day
and rethink what life once meant
deja vu
a tingling suspicion
the sense of the familiar
a nagging supposition
that something new has been
like a speculative impulse
ringing in your head
you can’t shake this feeling
whether subtle or strong
that you’ve seen this scene before
it can flatten me like a boulder
without a warning rumble
or touch me like a feather
as fuzzy as cotton fluff
it may be light as a distant memory
or firmer than a solid wall
it might land on my head like an albatross
or worm its way inside my brain
and nest between my ears
sometimes it doesn’t go away
if i run it simply follows
i detect its footstep close behind
with an echo of similarity
i could jump into a lake and wait
my breath held tightly in my lungs
but that vexful pest would not be fooled
by tactic or diversion
like a swarm of bees it lingers
deja vu i am so tired of you
go plague some other mind
i’d like for once to not seem in a dream
or as if i’m psychically attuned
why must i think that what’s happening
is from the future or heaven sent
why ask myself time and time again
if this already was or it wasn’t
it would be really nice not to know
a walk through random places
soft respectful treads
the footfalls of a wanderous heart
without a destination
without a place to start
a stir of leafen boughs
the whisper of a breeze
and rustle of my clothing
i am grateful for all these
a dip or slant ahead
the mystery of an unpaved lane
a glint of sun across my journey
i cannot complain
do i blaze a trail
or trail behind
am i leading the way
or being led to find
greener fields unfurrowed plains
another place another day
a scattered promise to the wind
the randomness of where to stay
an undecided morrow
a restlessness inside
the yearning ache of something more
of what is left untried
where will my stumbling gait lead to
i cannot see that far
i am following the path i’m on
as i pen my life’s memoir
when i’m there perhaps i’ll know
or perhaps i never will
it’s the steps that truly matter
whether up or down the hill
there is no highest point
only steps along the hill
if you’re still with me this far and haven’t flown the coop of pigeon english over my nearly total lack of structure aside from apostrophes then there is still a chance to end this chapter with a trace of dignity
it’s like a poetry apocalypse or something
hey that could be my next poem
the or something part
i hope you didn’t think i meant the apocalyptic reference
okay you probably did and i know that is an extremely popular subject these days but i like to be different so i tend to avoid the popular in favor of the less traveled lane if you get my drift
the slow lane
not that i don’t love a good apocalypse
oh fine now i have to write an apocalyptic piece because it’s stuck in my head
thanks a lot
but i am still going to write the other idea too because i also enjoy a good challenge
bring it on baby
i can be unstructured if i want to
completely off the page
off the wall
off the chart
off the beaten path
even off my rocker
oh yeah that’s me
my unstructuredness is only exceeded by my unruliness
so here goes nothing and you can probably take that literally
or something
it is true that i am not a twig
although i was willowy a time or two
so i might have once been but a sprig
in a distant life maybe i was yew
if our essence is at all like hope
and can spring eternal much the same
then we’re like a magic piece of rope
that rejoins itself from whence it came
i could be better now than i once was
or something worse than what i’ll be
whether it turns out a mere bit of fuzz
i’m a work in progress eventually
i may twirl one moment prance the next
then sparkle so bright it blinds your eyes
there will always be a few defects
but expect each dawn a new surprise
it’s a leap of faith as we flash in the pan
a shimmering jewel of rain in the sun
awaiting its flight on a clouded wingspan
before this turn is said and done
we are present such a brief sojourn
life tripping by in a cartwheel of time
too short for all that we must learn
so many hills we have to climb
we barely know our inner selves
the nuances of this earthly spin
ere the books are tucked back on the shelves
and our heroes do not always win
i thought if i could find the right words
i might caution us to make the most
of every chance to soar like birds
or something clearer than a ghost
apocalypse
there are days that go awry
oh they begin with promise
shiny and new
like any other
rich in possibility
ripe and juicy with potential
sweet as a bite into a plum
but then one thing
sometimes a minor upset
can topple the cart
spill the apples, oranges, pears
and suddenly it’s all bananas
the type of days that make you wish
you had stayed in bed
i’m having one of those
riddled by unfairness
everywhere i turn
unfairness can be frustrating
when you are the only one
who realizes the truth
i hate that
like now when i am alone
at least i feel that way
and the world is against me
i don’t know why
whether it happened gradually
though the change was swift
like justice or judgement
and we didn’t believe
wouldn’t accept what was there
right before our eyes
or if there was simply no way
to prevent this
a cause or consequence
we were unable to predict
it has been that kind of day
puzzling and confused
since waking up to the dawn
of an apocalypse
a state of bewilderment
and abandonment
by friends and family
who are no longer the same
no longer on my side
it’s a hollow sensation
confronted by shock and betrayal
panicked and paranoid
forced to hide from loved ones
to avoid human contact
because i may be the last person
on earth still alive
intact
what a scary thought
yet i need to hope
i will find others like me
survivors of a grim harvest
the holocaust of souls
this heaven or hell-sent madness
natural or man-made
prophetic or dumb luck
if you walked in my shoes
if you were tangible
not some figment or fabrication
a holographic semblance
that lingers flickering
for sanity’s behest
the mere hallucination of
a kindred spirit
misery’s companion
i am certain you would waver
as i frequently slip in and out
of a light and shadow dance
between faith and condemnation
what else is there
but acceptance or denial
to embrace or rail
at the whims of fate
or destiny’s cruel joke
simple
it doesn’t take elaboration
to express what is deepest felt
a simple phrase suffices
and can hover on the tongue
yet be the toughest thing to say
as if to wring it from the heart
wrench it free of a beating tomb
or strip it from your fiber
unpeeling strand by strand
perhaps dredged out of the marrow
between one’s bones
it’s like pulling teeth
for it can be that difficult and painful
as if fettered by invisible restraints
shackled by our own timid nature
wrapped like veins and tendons
composed of fear and shyness
despite how urgently endured
sometimes due to habit
an awkward sense of custom
or a self-imposed constriction
binding the tongue
sealing lips like mortician’s twine
hindering arms from being able to hug
as if reclining in a casket
as if in life we are frozen
attending our own funeral
vapid as a ghost leaden as a corpse
chained and gagged by a weak spirit
watching and incapable
of breaking through the barrier
that doesn’t exist
it’s simple
just say what is on your mind
speak with your heart
do not wait too long
or the moment will pass
to show how much you care
about others
under the rainbow
(first published on SERVANTE OF DARKNESS, 2014)
so here i am
holding my umbrella upside down
to catch the drops
that fall under the rainbow
out of starry eyes
wrung from the hankies of clouds
who do not all have silver linings
that’s just a myth
some of them are shaped like ogres
and sundry sorry critters
that go bump in the night sky
not all nursery rhymes end happily
just as fairytales can be grim
and wishes could make the stars collide
like marbles or billiard balls
which crack and thunder
in delayed measures
of rimshot or bass-drum moods
to cymbalize the hot sparks
of cosmic temperament
so here i stand
absorbing the sorrows
of the universe
catching rain with my umbrella
saved for a sunny day
when i will turn the umbrella over
and stand in the shade
to bask in my tears
2
scrambled
(Original Publication Date on
Trilllogic Innoventions: July 12, 2010)
I’m sure you must be wondering what I mean by the title up there. That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I’ll let you know once I do. You see, I was beset by ideas for a variety of verse, as if a storm blew in and showered me — instead of droplets, with letters that collected into puddles of words on my mental parchment. As I sit here drying off, tapping keys to convey and capture the essence of the deluge, I have been attempting to glean some thread of grand design that binds them all together. A theme of sorts that I could slap up there and prattle about at succinct length to introduce these jumbled thoughts that will hopefully spell out poems.
All I could come up with, I’m afraid, was scrambled
. These notions seem to have naught but differences. No common ground. They are as random and unrelated as snowflake patterns; the faces in a crowd. Unless it’s a family reunion, I suppose. Or a circus of fleas performing stunts on the back of a hound. (Fleas all pretty much look alike, don’t you think? Or is that a misconception? I certainly don’t mean to make prejudicial statements, even about insects.)
Where on earth am I going with this?
I wish I knew.
I wish you knew.
I wish somebody knew something and would let me know!
I really appreciate you for reading this. And any of my other convoluted disconcerting