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    A Moment Of Belief: A True Story
    A Moment Of Belief: A True Story
    A Moment Of Belief: A True Story
    Ebook74 pages1 hour

    A Moment Of Belief: A True Story

    By Farooq A. Shah

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    About this ebook

    A powerful memoir of overcoming the limitations of disability and emotional suffering by developing the tools for the ultimate journey of transformative healing, self-discovery and love.

    In this moving and powerful memoir, Farooq Shah recounts his painful journey of healing and discovery that illustrates the positive and transformative pow

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHCP Book Publishing
    Release dateSep 29, 2017
    ISBN9780999402535
    A Moment Of Belief: A True Story

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      Book preview

      A Moment Of Belief - Farooq A. Shah

      Chapter One

      If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is an inconvenience.

      —Robert Fulghum

      My life profoundly changed on July 1, 2011. It started off as a routine day, like any other. I remember that day like it was yesterday and couldn’t forget it if I tried. I had gotten up that morning with no idea of what was to follow, no idea that this day would mark the rest of my life forever. I decided on a warm breakfast and fried up a few eggs and cooked a bit of oatmeal. A rerun of the game had been playing on the television and I turned it up to watch.

      I remember the beads of water from a hot shower on my sandy skin as I got ready for the rest of my day at noon. I had used my favorite Adidas body wash and sung a beat from the radio. The hot water calmed my aching joints and shot nerves as I rinsed and tied a towel around my waist.

      I remember walking over to the sink sometime later, and as I began to wash the dishes, the smell of lemony dish soap perforated the air. It was that special organic variety that my mom had made me buy the other day in the supermarket.

      It won’t hurt your hands, she had said.

      I remember there was a plate on the table, and I turned around slowly to retrieve it. I could never have known what would come next.

      How often is one able to see what is about to come? I have spent so long wondering how I could have done things differently. If I hadn’t moved when I had, if my reflexes had been better, if there had been more redundant strength in my body. Sometimes in hindsight after a disastrous action, we wish we could have done something to prevent it.

      The shock was immediate. I felt my body jolt and jerk into limpness as I made my way to the floor with an expedient thud! It was too soon for my brain to comprehend what had happened. Within split seconds I fell face forward, my arms outstretched to break my fall, as my head bounced off the hardwood floor like a runaway basketball. I lay there finding it near impossible to move my upper body.

      The next few vivid moments of my near-death experience have been seared into my being. Sometimes I’ll see the whole thing in my nightmares and wake up to realize it had been real. I’ll be standing near my sink again, my hands runny with the scent of lemon. I can’t stand the scent of lemon now.

      Time seemed to stop when I fell to the floor. A large impenetrable mass of horrifying pain emerged and I felt as if my head had shattered into a million pieces. Death seemed like an old friend to be welcomed with open arms, and while half of me entertained this thought, the other half fought violently to stay alive. I’m not exactly sure when unconsciousness took me but I’m glad it did. Some things are better left unfelt, at least for as long as possible. It seemed like years of writhing in pain had passed until silence descended and all the voices in my head went mute.

      Matt told me about my unconscious journey to the hospital. How my head had hung low like I was having a painful dream that wouldn’t let me wake up. The ambulance drivers handled me delicately like a piece of fine china, afraid I would shatter and they would lose me forever. If I had I been awake, I would have wondered how often people you barely know show such concern. They laid me into the ambulance with fear, reverence, and care as if I was perhaps already dead but they sincerely hoped that was not the case.

      I do not remember the way to the hospital, but I try to put myself in the shoes of one of the men looking at me lying on their little bed. I sometimes try to make out what that man had going through his head. Whether he felt pity at someone so afflicted or merely the indifference that his job inculcates. He would have lifted me gently yet firmly and rushed me through the emergency doors of the hospital, and the onlookers would have gasped and then plunged themselves into action. I imagine an aura of trying to look important and useful without having any idea of what had happened.

      Soon I was aware of the blood slithering down my face, leaving a striking trail in its path. I tasted its bitter saltiness, and I noticed the floor emanating coolness and letting the light play and break into shards on its surface. I was jolted to a place of complete darkness. Where was I? I had this feeling I should be afraid, but for some reason, I wasn’t at all.

      Whatever this place was, it was dark, like a bottomless pit that had no beginning or end. It was so truly dark that it seemed light would be swallowed here, yet somehow, I wasn’t bothered by the dark at all, and felt at peace.

      "I realize I am not feeling any pain! Is this what healing feels like? Oh, my God, I feel incredible! I’m so free and airy. Why am I not feeling any more pain in my body? Where has it all gone? Hey, why does it seem like my surroundings are moving away from me? But I’m not scared! Why am I not afraid? Where has my fear gone? Oh wow, I can’t find the fear anymore! Is this what normal feels like? Is this what death feels like? I can’t believe it; it’s like a sudden wave of comfort wrapped my body in a security blanket and all the

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