Family

I hate this

By Danny - 25/04/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, my dad is fighting for his life after a pancreatic cancer diagnosis and a life threatening surgery. I work full time and I visit him when I can, knowing we’re on borrowed time. I come home emotional exhausted and drained, only to be met with a nagging wife that says I’m not prioritizing her or the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 3

Sorry for your loss

By TooReal - 25/04/2025 06:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my mother messaged me via Facebook me to say that my father had died. They knew since the start of the year but didn't bother to tell me. I live 10 minutes from the hospital he was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 47

Happy Easter!

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 310

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 18/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I tried to make it right by visiting my girl in the hospital after she had our baby. I fucked up by freaking out and dumping her since I didn’t feel ready, but now wanted to do the right thing. When I got there, another guy was kissing her and holding my baby. My best friend/cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 052

Privacy or family?

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, it’s my first week working in a OB office. The amount of married men bringing in their pregnant sidechicks is absolutely sickening, but the worst part is one of them was my sister’s husband! I’m scared I’ll get fired if I tell her, even though he wasn’t the patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 98

Ghost rider

By mellbelle32 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my visiting cousin was driving me to pick-up and pay for my wedding cake at the bakery. The cops pulled him over for speeding and as it turns out his license was expired. I ended up having to use my wedding cake money to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 557

You deserved it 3 581

A bit rich

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, it's been months that my mom has owed me $174, and every time I ask she tells me she's too poor to pay me back. Girly bought an entire 180k dollar farm with my grandparents the day after I asked (also the money was used for gas, and she guilt tripped me into giving it to her). FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 100

How's it going?

By Only me - 10/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was texting my mom about a surprise visit, and autocorrect changed "surprise" to "surgery." I hit send before noticing, and now she thinks I’m planning some major medical procedure, and has been calling me nonstop to check if I’m OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 116

Priorities

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, when she found out my mother died, my ever empathetic wife said, “Tell them not to have the funeral on Friday. I have a hair appointment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 79

Brother in law enforcement

By Sunshinenwhiskey - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 172

You deserved it 1 051

Holidays in the sun

By ToxicFamily - 05/04/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, all I wanted was to go on a vacation in April. I've been asking my husband since last April and he begrudgingly booked everything last minute a month before. Now he's cancelled everything he booked due to his dad being sick. I was OK with it, but now I've got no vacations for this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 352

The golden cousin

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I went to a family reunion and made the mistake of wearing the same shirt as my cousin, who is known for always wanting to be the center of attention. She took one look at me, pointed, and said, “Oh, I see you’re copying me now, huh?” Then, my aunt overheard and said, “Well, she is your cousin, so it’s not like it’s a crime.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 61

Regular occurrence

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my family’s usual Sunday dinner turned into a shouting match over politics. My uncle called me a “brainwashed socialist,” my cousin accused me of being a “capitalist pig,” and my grandma just sat there eating pie, which made me want to call her a "fence-sitting centrist", which is when I realized that maybe we shouldn't ever talk about politics again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 449

Distant

By Anonymous - 31/03/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, my husband spoke enthusiastically about his day to my sister-in-law, who doesn't care about us or our family, and who I hate due to it. While I've been trying to get him to talk, ask him questions, and share about his day for years now, the most response I get is, "Leave me alone with my coffee" or literal snores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 114

One-upped

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 15:00 - Canada - King City

Today, I went out to see my uncle on my mom’s side and his family for my mom’s birthday. My oldest cousin insisted that he and his wife give their gift first. It was a stuffed bear, along with the news that they’re expecting their first kid, and making my mom a great-aunt. My gift was a cake she used to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 92

Eavesdropping ain't a good idea

By Sorry we can't all be 5'10", Katie - 26/03/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend's future sister-in-law ask him not to bring me to the wedding. Apparently, me being so much shorter than everyone else is "embarrassing" and "would make the pictures look weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 77

Tight knit family

By Nic - 24/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out my oldest brother is getting married in two weeks. I heard about it through one of my two sisters, who pretty much helped end his last marriage, and who he hasn’t spoken to in 3 years. She wanted to complain about the invite taking so long. I still haven’t been invited, and I thought we were on good terms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 72

Unlovable

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 23:00

Today, I told my family that I have a girlfriend, and showed them her Facebook. They immediately started taking bets on when I’d mess it up, when she’d dump me, whether she actually existed, if I’d just made a fake Facebook, or whether she was a pro I hired. I hate my siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 139

Share, not scare

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, during a family dinner, my uncle asked if anyone had any embarrassing stories. Feeling brave, I told them about my recent breakup. As I was getting to the juicy details, my 11-year-old cousin piped up, saying, “You’re talking about the time you ate pizza naked, right?” My face was instantly beet red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 200

A night to remember

By Anonymous - 14/03/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, I planned to propose to my girlfriend in front of her family at dinner. I had the ring ready and got down on one knee. She immediately burst into laughter and said, "Are you kidding?" The family stared in silence, and I quickly realised she was just teasing me... until I stood up and knocked over an entire table of drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 124

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 18:00 - United States - Fox River Grove

Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 192

Irritation

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I have family over and even though they can see I'm stepping away to go take a shower, instead of interacting with my child who they supposedly love, they ignore her to the point where she comes crying to the bathroom door. So now I gotta move quicker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 189

Not a people person

By Anna - 07/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to sneak out of a family gathering without anyone noticing. As I tiptoed toward the door, I stepped on my aunt's prized chihuahua's squeaky toy. The entire house went silent as it squeaked at quite the volume, and everyone turned to stare at me. My "escape" turned into the most dramatic exit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 233

Power shortage

By Anonymous - 03/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I've worked for the power company for six years. My wife and her family still don't understand that I don't control their power bills, I can't give them a discount, and I can't answer their questions since I don't work in Billing. Every month, it's the same tired arguments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 66

Close knit

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 09:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 282

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I had to go to my parents' house and interrupt their "private time" to tell them that grandpa is in the emergency room. For those of you who are wondering if it gets any less traumatizing and/or awkward as an adult: it doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 93

It sounds funny I know, but it really is so

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 08:00

Today, my dad admitted to dating and getting my stepdaughter pregnant, and they’re very happy. My wife is furious. Meanwhile, my brother pointed out it’s a real life version of the Willie Nelson song. Once the baby is born, our inbred family tree will result in me technically being my own grandad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 97

Revenge is sweet

By Jim20 - 20/02/2025 03:00 - Germany - Friedberg

Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 88

A star is born

By Tito Pat - 18/02/2025 07:00 - Philippines - Bacoor

Today, I discovered that my niece is making a killing with her vlog's revenue by adding a small segment. It features hidden camera footage of her eccentric uncle's daily life: from various reactions while playing a video game, to singing like a dork while working out, and being a huge nerd at everything. It's me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 111

Drive thru

By ToxicFamily - 17/02/2025 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my entitled brother-in-law called me unannounced as I was having lunch and asked if I had food for him and his wife. I said, "The food I have at home will only be enough for my husband." Now I'm the villain for not cooking enough for sudden unexpected mealtime visitors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 77

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The Top

Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 573

You deserved it 4 342

Today, while I was showering, my 3 year-old son came to the bathroom and put on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterwards, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 960

You deserved it 93 511

The Top

Today, I have erectile dysfunction but have also recently gotten a girlfriend. She is very understanding but I decided to try Viagra to get things going. I had the rare reaction of a boner lasting hours that put me in hospital. I can’t win, it’s either no boner at all or a boner that tries to kill itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 180

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 809

You deserved it 71 745

Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 640

You deserved it 3 621

Today, I got chewed out at work when my supervisor showed up, because my coworkers told my supervisor they couldn't find me for an hour and a half. Why couldn't they find me? Because they'd left to go get coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 485

You deserved it 2 237

Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 720

You deserved it 5 254

Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 657

You deserved it 2 708