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Submissions: 368
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~Pandx
julia / filipino+hawaiian
she/her
IM ON A SEMI-HIATUS because life sucks atm
EVERYTHING ON THIS PAGE IS A WIP, CURRENTLY REBUILDING EVERYTHING!
i draw asses for money
TOYHOUSE| COMMISSION TOS | COMMISSION QUEUE
commissions are CLOSED | art trades = journals/announcements
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my love:
❤ Nirim ❤
best buddies:
imze , tobicakes , pokolj , luhsa-kk. and hratan are lit
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i take suggestions of what to draw! go check out my suggestion box here !
Featured Submission
Stats
Comments Earned: 1717
Comments Made: 884
Journals: 41
Comments Made: 884
Journals: 41
Featured Journal
!!IMPORTANT!! PLEASE READ IF YOURE ON MY QUEUE +LIFE UPDATES
6 years ago
Hey everyone! Im sorry for going MIA on pretty much all social media. I really needed a huge break from everything, and it took way longer than expected. Not that It's an excuse for disappearing for so long, but its an explanation. I'm really sorry for disappointing anyone or causing inconveniences with my several empty promises of getting better soon. I'm disappointed in myself too.
Int his journal im gonna touch up on everything that has happened in the past half year or so, in as much detail as I can without being too TMI as I dont feel comfortable revealing too much about my personal life. This'll be my first time really opening up to anyone (other than very close friends) about my situation, so BE GENTLE pls. I'm still somewhat in the process of recovery but.. I think this time I might actually be coming back for good soon, at MOST in the next 2 months or so. This is probably the worst relapse I've EVER had mental health wise and Im not happy, but I have good plans.
FIRST THING I want to say is, if you noted me while I was gone at ALL regarding commissions (no new inquiries for now, but ill open up again soon, promise!) or owed art please send it to my NEW EMAIL, pandxcommissions@gmail.com, and please include your FA username in them. I have plenty of unread notes and theyre all either buisness or personal. Also, FA's note system isn't very reliable to me and I will probably have all commission inquiries be sent there from now on, and disable notes in the future OR have them purely for personal communication. THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT since I'll likely get back with you much faster regarding it as It'll probably take me a while to go through all my notes.
Everything past here is just gonna be pure explaination to the best of my ability.
Man, where do I even start? I usually can sometimes have periods of up to a couple months of being too depressed to do anything, especially bring myself to draw, but THIS is a whole other level. I truly wasn't expecting this to go on so long and i'm really sorry. The past half year has been torture for me. And I didn't do the right thing in the beginning. I cut myself off from everyone but a few friends, I cut myself like 90% off the internet and just... isolated myself. I would lay for hours, not doing anything. There would even be days where I would ignore my MOM's texts for days on end. Once in a while, I'd actually be fine! I'd doodle a bit and feel my inspiration flowing, maybe even make a few adopts to help my bf get his first tattoo. But then it would just.. come back. There are a lot of reasons for my depression, on top of chemical imbalances in my brain.
I absolutely loathed myself. Not a day would go by that I didnt want to get ripped apart or just stop existing. My lack of ability to do ANYTHING made me hate myself even more. I couldn't shower. I couldnt get up to do basic tasks. When I moved in with my boyfriend, I hated myself more because I wasnt contributing anything, I couldnt force myself to do it. I know it can be hard to understand but plenty of depressed people out there know what I'm talking about. There are also a lot of depressed people out there who CAN hunker through and live their lives, and I commend them greatly for it. You guys are literally so strong. USUALLY I could do it, but this time, every day my bones felt like they were made of jell-o. I had no energy to do anything and I would be sleeping for 15+ hours a day.
I've been moving around a lot as well, and visiting family all over the globe and shit. Particularly in Hawaii and the Philippines. While I was in Hawaii, I got into a car accident (it was kind of minor, absolutely no one got hurt but I was still shaken) and THAT also affected my brain a lot. In the end, everything turned out OK though, and my uncles car didnt even get damaged minus a bit on the front bumper, but it was an OLD ass car.
I've also been having a lot of problems with my personal relations, Physical conditions and other dramas that have been battering away at my brain. IM REALLY SORRY FOR BEING VAGUE but this is honestly the most I can say without literally telling a bunch of strangers on the internet everything about me. Honestly this sounds like first world problems but thats how it is
Being someone who wants to get into art full time, this was a real blow to me, not being able to draw AT ALL basically (Small bursts of being able to dont count) for the past 4-5 months or so. I'm really sorry again for any inconveniences this has caused or any friends of mine who may feel like I abandoned them, this is certainty not the case. I love all of you and I hope you're doing well.
I ended up going to a doctor though! I have really bad hormonal imbalance that I should be getting treatment for soon, and that's something that could have been affecting my brain really badly. I'm also active again, and Im working on getting a working schedule for myself and my life again, balancing work (art), excercise and EATING MORE THAN 1 MEAL A DAY! I have a really good feeling about the future now.
If you know anyone who's depressed or has any mental condition, give them some love. Even a little can help. That's all I can say.
It feels kinda good to finally let this all out and admit it, even though I really couldnt go into much detail sadly dfjkdsfs
Anyway WITH ALL THESE NEW GAMES COMING OUT I cant afford to be depressed anymore. I can't wait to get back to drawing, playing games, and having a happy time.
Thanks for reading this far if you have!
As for the future, Im doing a COMPLETE REVAMP of the way I handle commissions and stuff. Im probably gonna use TRELLO even though the layout confuses the fuck out of me because honestly google spreadsheets has just proven to be inconvenient and I always ended up stashing my commissions on some word document for ease anyway LMAO.
I might even get a manager ;)
I'll also be updating my TOS and probably prices again, as well as cleaning the FUCK out of my gallery of old art and filling it with THE NEW ART that is coming soon.
I also wanna take this opportunity to share my discord link again, https://discord.gg/jnjBYa !!
You can get live updates about my stream and chat with my friends and I. I've made a lot of friends on this server.
Thanks again for reading!
Int his journal im gonna touch up on everything that has happened in the past half year or so, in as much detail as I can without being too TMI as I dont feel comfortable revealing too much about my personal life. This'll be my first time really opening up to anyone (other than very close friends) about my situation, so BE GENTLE pls. I'm still somewhat in the process of recovery but.. I think this time I might actually be coming back for good soon, at MOST in the next 2 months or so. This is probably the worst relapse I've EVER had mental health wise and Im not happy, but I have good plans.
FIRST THING I want to say is, if you noted me while I was gone at ALL regarding commissions (no new inquiries for now, but ill open up again soon, promise!) or owed art please send it to my NEW EMAIL, pandxcommissions@gmail.com, and please include your FA username in them. I have plenty of unread notes and theyre all either buisness or personal. Also, FA's note system isn't very reliable to me and I will probably have all commission inquiries be sent there from now on, and disable notes in the future OR have them purely for personal communication. THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT since I'll likely get back with you much faster regarding it as It'll probably take me a while to go through all my notes.
Everything past here is just gonna be pure explaination to the best of my ability.
Man, where do I even start? I usually can sometimes have periods of up to a couple months of being too depressed to do anything, especially bring myself to draw, but THIS is a whole other level. I truly wasn't expecting this to go on so long and i'm really sorry. The past half year has been torture for me. And I didn't do the right thing in the beginning. I cut myself off from everyone but a few friends, I cut myself like 90% off the internet and just... isolated myself. I would lay for hours, not doing anything. There would even be days where I would ignore my MOM's texts for days on end. Once in a while, I'd actually be fine! I'd doodle a bit and feel my inspiration flowing, maybe even make a few adopts to help my bf get his first tattoo. But then it would just.. come back. There are a lot of reasons for my depression, on top of chemical imbalances in my brain.
I absolutely loathed myself. Not a day would go by that I didnt want to get ripped apart or just stop existing. My lack of ability to do ANYTHING made me hate myself even more. I couldn't shower. I couldnt get up to do basic tasks. When I moved in with my boyfriend, I hated myself more because I wasnt contributing anything, I couldnt force myself to do it. I know it can be hard to understand but plenty of depressed people out there know what I'm talking about. There are also a lot of depressed people out there who CAN hunker through and live their lives, and I commend them greatly for it. You guys are literally so strong. USUALLY I could do it, but this time, every day my bones felt like they were made of jell-o. I had no energy to do anything and I would be sleeping for 15+ hours a day.
I've been moving around a lot as well, and visiting family all over the globe and shit. Particularly in Hawaii and the Philippines. While I was in Hawaii, I got into a car accident (it was kind of minor, absolutely no one got hurt but I was still shaken) and THAT also affected my brain a lot. In the end, everything turned out OK though, and my uncles car didnt even get damaged minus a bit on the front bumper, but it was an OLD ass car.
I've also been having a lot of problems with my personal relations, Physical conditions and other dramas that have been battering away at my brain. IM REALLY SORRY FOR BEING VAGUE but this is honestly the most I can say without literally telling a bunch of strangers on the internet everything about me. Honestly this sounds like first world problems but thats how it is
Being someone who wants to get into art full time, this was a real blow to me, not being able to draw AT ALL basically (Small bursts of being able to dont count) for the past 4-5 months or so. I'm really sorry again for any inconveniences this has caused or any friends of mine who may feel like I abandoned them, this is certainty not the case. I love all of you and I hope you're doing well.
I ended up going to a doctor though! I have really bad hormonal imbalance that I should be getting treatment for soon, and that's something that could have been affecting my brain really badly. I'm also active again, and Im working on getting a working schedule for myself and my life again, balancing work (art), excercise and EATING MORE THAN 1 MEAL A DAY! I have a really good feeling about the future now.
If you know anyone who's depressed or has any mental condition, give them some love. Even a little can help. That's all I can say.
It feels kinda good to finally let this all out and admit it, even though I really couldnt go into much detail sadly dfjkdsfs
Anyway WITH ALL THESE NEW GAMES COMING OUT I cant afford to be depressed anymore. I can't wait to get back to drawing, playing games, and having a happy time.
Thanks for reading this far if you have!
As for the future, Im doing a COMPLETE REVAMP of the way I handle commissions and stuff. Im probably gonna use TRELLO even though the layout confuses the fuck out of me because honestly google spreadsheets has just proven to be inconvenient and I always ended up stashing my commissions on some word document for ease anyway LMAO.
I might even get a manager ;)
I'll also be updating my TOS and probably prices again, as well as cleaning the FUCK out of my gallery of old art and filling it with THE NEW ART that is coming soon.
I also wanna take this opportunity to share my discord link again, https://discord.gg/jnjBYa !!
You can get live updates about my stream and chat with my friends and I. I've made a lot of friends on this server.
Thanks again for reading!
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