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- Kevin Arnold recalls growing up during the late 60s and early 70s; the turbulent social times make the transition from child to adult unusually interesting.
- After receiving a $5,000 tax-refund check, Ellen donates it to the Helping Hand charity foundation, much to Peter's delight. But when IRS wants it back saying it was a mistake, Ellen finds that Peter has already spent it to expand the charity fund. Meanwhile, Adam hires Paige to pose as various items for a new photography job he has, and Joe tries to make the coffee stand look more "American" due to his fears of being deported back to Canada dues to Ellen's problems with the IRS.
- Ed Billik, Buy The Book's new manager, arrives and he and Ellen don't hit it off especially when Ed hangs a deer head in his new office, offending Ellen the nature lover and vegetarian. When Ed decides to fire Joe to cut costs, Ellen resorts to stealing Ed's deer head for ransom to get Joe rehired. Meanwhile, Paige and Spence finally negotiate a date of going to a baseball game. But nothing goes as they plan it.
- Attempting to freshen up their dating lives, Ellen, Adam, and Holly answer personal dating ads in the newspaper. Holly meets a recently-divorced neurotic man; Adam tries honesty, then exaggeration; and Ellen meets Jackson, the man of her dreams. But Mr. Right is all wrong at kissing and Ellen cannot bring herself to tell him.
- Money problems cause Ellen to consider firing Audrey from Buy The Book, much to Joe's delight. But at Audrey's surprise birthday party at her house, her wealthy and equally obnoxious parents, Lily and Jack, want to give Ellen a $100,000 cashiers check in order to solve her money troubles at the bookstore and to keep on Audrey. But there are strings attached when Lily and Jack want to remodel Buy The Book to their own choosing.
- After Ellen throws a surprise birthday party for Adam, he becomes convinced that living with Ellen is limiting his potential in life. So, Adam gets a new job as the building manager of a retirement home and moves out of the apartment, leaving Ellen with limitless possibilities as to what to do with his vacant room.
- Ellen decides to go out more as part of her New Year's Resolution. However Ellen's plans for a solo grand dinner at a fancy restaurant doesn't go well as planed and she decides to take pottery lessons instead. Meanwhile, Paige's kitchen goes up in flames after Spence and Joe house sit for her while she's in Canada during a movie location shoot.
- Determined to revive a childhood dream that her annoying and nagging parents, Lois and Harold, quashed, Ellen begins taking ballet lessons, being taught by Peter, and sets her sights on dancing the lead in her class recital and seeks more help in her dance moves with Adam who also took ballet lessons when he was in college. But on the night of the recital, when the lead ballerina sprains her back showing Ellen a certain move, she is forced to take the ballerina's place. Meanwhile, Paige begins dating a man from a karate class that dresses differently out of his karate uniform.
- Ellen, Audrey, and Joe go out bowling with Ed where he gets angry after Ellen beats him at a game. So, Ed challenges Ellen to a game of pool at his house the next evening. After Ed beats Ellen at pool, she becomes the sore loser and they decide to put on the final test to who's the real winner with a final one-on-one bowling game. Meanwhile, Paige and Spence's plans to spend time alone together are constantly foiled as she's busy at her studio and he's busy with his new job as an E.R. doctor.
- Ellen invites Spence to celebrate Christmas with her obnoxious and unhinged parents. But Ellen's holiday spirits hit an all time low when Lois and Harold have to leave town to go on an ocean cruise. They present her with a Christmas gift to last forever: a cemetery burial plot. Spence, Paige, Joe and Audrey try to cheer up Ellen when she decides to visit her eternal resting place in a San Fernando cemetery on Christmas Eve. Elsehwere, Joe and Audrey deal with an eccentric temp worker, named Tad, whom they employ for the Christmas holiday.
- On Ellen's 35th birthday, she and the gang go to the rock 'n roll music camp in Hollywood where they get to jam in a band with David Crosby, Aaron Neville and Bonnie Raitt. But Ellen gets cold feet when she feels her singing can't compare with theirs.
- Paige and Ellen scheme to have Ellen infiltrate a focus group slated to evaluate a new TV show that Paige developed involving a tall and short cop, and Joe gets in on the act as well. In the meeting room, Ellen successfully convinces the rest of the people present to support the new show for it's first run. But everything changes when Paige meets with Ellen and asks her to support a new show that her boss wants too.
- Ellen and her book group are invited to appear on "Book Chat," a local TV program on book reading. But when the host, Erik Matthew Marshall, tells them that only three of them can appear out of the five, the members, redneck Will, eccentric Mrs. Rogers, dumb Karen, emerge Rajani, and unsure Kenny, offer Ellen gifts and visits to make up her mind when the choice narrows down to her. Meanwhile, Audrey takes over making coffee at the bookstore when Joe injures his wrist.
- Ellen helps Peter prepare a production of Romeo and Juliet done by deaf actors. Audrey, now single after breaking up with Mike, takes a liking to Brian, the actor who is playing Romeo. But as result of a misunderstanding of sign language, Ellen thinks Brian is making a pass at her. Meanwhile, Spence gets his signals mixed when Paige's former fiance, Matt, returns to the scene.
- Ellen goes on a scholastic trip to a museum with Adam and Paige to expand her cultural horizons where she meets an attractive English college professor. Desperate to win his affections, Ellen tries to impress him after he asks her out to a jazz concert and then to an opera. But when Ellen introduces him to the world of TV, his fixation on it makes their relationship boring. Meanwhile, Joe moves in the bookstore after having a fight with Stephanie.
- Ellen does not want to hurt Audrey, so she reluctantly goes out to lunch with her, Paige, and Audrey's friend, Jessica, a travel writer. Ellen wants to get closer to Jessica, without hurting Audrey. So she lies resorts to lying to go to a party for Jessica in order to avoid going out with Audrey. Meanwhile, Adam inherits some historical family letters with some hysterical implications. Also, Joe has to swear off coffee after a doctor's visit that has diagnosed him with a stomach ulcer.
- A "mockumentary" hosted by Linda Ellerbee as a tribute to the 75-year career of Ellen. It traces her start as a vaudevillian, ventriloquist and hostess of a 1950s game show called "Who's the Commie?" to spoofs of 'I Love Lucy', 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' and 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'. Also featured are interviews with celebrities Jennifer Aniston, Glenn Close, Woody Harrelson, Helen Hunt, Ted Danson, Phil Donahue, Tim Conway, and many others.
- A parody of the career of Ellen DeGeneres, celebrating her 75 years in show business.
- Ellen volunteers to take care of Paige's boyfriend's nine-year-old daughter, Mia, for the weekend while Paige and her policeman boyfriend, Matt, go camping. Ellen is proud of the way she communicates with her charge and even gets Spence, Joe and Audrey to help Mia build a science project for her school. But when the fourth grader asks Ellen about the topic of sex, Ellen's the one with the tongue tied.
- While attending a Hollywood social party with Paige, Ellen spots British actress Emma Thompson making out with another woman and afterward convinces Paige to hire her as Emma's personal assistant while she's in town to film a movie and to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award. Ellen then convinces Emma to "come out," to the public, against Paige's protest. But Emma soon reveals to Ellen that it's not the only sordid secret that she hides of her past. At the banquet, Sean Penn appears with a surprise revelation of his own.
- Laurie takes Ellen on a weekend getaway to San Diego where problems arise between them when Laurie's instinct to be organized clashes with Ellen's natural neurotic instinct for spontaneity leading to both of them wanting some space from each other.
- On Christmas time, Ellen and Paige plan a vacation to Mexico and leave Joe and Audrey to run Buy the Book for the holidays. When Ellen finds and takes in a stray dog, she decides to stay in town and care for the dog since no one else will and sends Joe in her place on the trip. But when Ellen's father, Harold, shows up at her apartment for a visit, he mistakenly thinks the dog is a gift for him and takes it home himself.
- Ellen attends her father Harold's annual Civil War re-enactment outing in which her father plays General Grant. Ellen wants to play a solder, which brings out hostility from the other men and the sadistic drill instructor, Sgt. Timko, who plans to give her a hard time. Things take a turn when Ellen suspects that Harold is having an affair with Betsy, a field re-enactment nurse who fixes more than just fake chest wounds.
- Ellen hires a gay plumber from a gay yellow-pages phone book which Peter gave her, to fix the plumbing of her house in preparation for a party for the gay social crowd. But the man leaves her with an even bigger leaky sink to remember him by, prompting her to ask her long-term family plumber Tony to come to her rescue while dealing with the party guests in the next room.
- Ellen is approached by Tom and Larry, two hippie businessmen who want to buy her bookstore. But Ellen refuses to sell no matter how high the price. When Ellen decides to put down her roots and buy a home of her own, she's unprepared for the price. With Spence posing as her lawyer, Ellen pays a visit to Tom and Larry's office and decides to give in to their offer, but with the condition that she stay on at the head employee.