Hero (2002)

We have a couple of questions for skinternational martial artist Jet Li. For starters, did you ever know that you’re our hero? Did you know that you’re everything, everything we wish we could be? ’Cause you are the wind beneath our wings. Actually, Mr. Li is everyone’s hero in the visually stunning epic Hero (2002), not to be confused with the suggestively-titled Ten Inch Hero (2007). In Yimou Zhang’s PG-13 flick, the ruler of a dominating Chinese kingdom is under the constant threat of assassins. And none are more deadly than Broken Sword (Tony Leung), Flying Snow (Maggie Cheung), and Sky (Donnie Yen). After initially offering riches to anyone able to take down these killers, Nameless (Li) brings their weapons to the king, signaling their death. The sexy swordsman, however, soon learns that things are more complicated than he first figured. Needless to say, plot twists and literal kicks follow suit. When it comes to birthday suits, Jet Li is our hero. Not even five minutes into the movie, he stands naked in front of a group of men. One member of the bunch inspects almost every inch of Li’s rock hard body. Where do we apply for that job? As such, he (and we) get to see Jet’s abs and ass. Alas, the guys on camera proceed to dress Li up. Perhaps that’s why the movie lost the Academy Award for Best Foreign-Language Film to Germany’s Nowhere in Africa (2001). Even so, Jet Li’s thighs are a winner in our eyes!