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Simon Abrams
Tomatometer-approved critic
Publications:
Critics' Group:
Movies reviews only
| Rating | T-Meter | Title | Year | Review |
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How to Make Millions before Grandma Dies (2024) |
What “How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies” lacks in subtlety, it more than compensates for in its range of feeling and the surprising depth of its feel-good reassurances. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Sep 13, 2024
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The 4:30 Movie (2024) |
Light and self-deprecating where “Clerks 3” was depressing and verklempt, “The 4:30 Movie” offers viewers a reassuring trip down memory lane. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Sep 13, 2024
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Don't Turn Out the Lights (2023) |
A lightly metaphysical body count movie set primarily in a beat-up recreational vehicle, it meanders more than it purposefully goes anywhere. That’s a compliment, mostly. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Sep 06, 2024
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The Greatest of All Time (2024) |
With “The Greatest of All Time,” Vijay celebrates himself in very literal and often amusing ways. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Sep 06, 2024
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Decoded (2024) |
[N]ot even the combined forces of Lloyd Dobler and the Fab Four can bring a spike of joy to this DOA period drama. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Aug 27, 2024
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Consumed (2024) |
Based on what’s on-screen, both “Consumed”’s dialogue and the direction fail to expand on the movie’s distinguishing concern with Beth’s emotional turmoil. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Aug 16, 2024
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Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (2024) |
“Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In” is a once-in-a-while assembly of talent that will make even the most hardened skeptic agree—this one’s worth the hype. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Aug 12, 2024
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Daddio (2023) |
As a feature-length conversation, “Daddio” lurches from one beat to the next; as a drama, it barely moves at all. - TheWrap
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| Posted Aug 08, 2024
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Customs Frontline (2024) |
“Customs Frontline” is not quite as thrilling or as relentless as Yau’s other recent successes ... but it still delivers more twists and surprises than you might expect from this type of sudsy, formulaic cop drama. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jul 21, 2024
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Escape (2024) |
There’s simultaneously too much and not enough action in this intriguing, but underdeveloped story. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jul 07, 2024
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Kill (2023) |
“Kill”’s high-concept scenario is mostly a fun idea in search of better execution. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jul 07, 2024
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Kalki 2898 AD (2024) |
Goofy, over-earnest, and just good enough where it counts, “Kalki 2898 AD” outdistances its competition simply by digging deeper than expected into its patchy lore’s rich melodramatic turf. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jun 28, 2024
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The Devil's Bath (2024) |
You don’t need to abandon all hope to enter the movie’s painterly frame, but that sort of blind submission often seems to be the only emotional threshold to cross. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jun 28, 2024
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Ultraman: Rising (2024) |
“Ultraman: Rising” lacks a noteworthy vision of what it means to be a parent, let alone an adult struggling to wear several hats at once. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jun 14, 2024
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The Grab (2022) |
A longer or more episodic version of “The Grab” might have been able to accommodate tangents about pirates and jetpacks; this version of “The Grab” doesn’t even have an unhappy ending. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jun 14, 2024
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Nightwatch: Demons Are Forever (2023) |
“Nightwatch: Demons Are Forever” never lets its characters unpack their hangups, making it harder to care when some of them die violently just to keep the plot moving. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted May 17, 2024
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Nothing Can't Be Undone By A Hotpot (2024) |
[T]he most impressive thing isn’t the integrity of the plot, but the seamlessness of its presentation. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted May 10, 2024
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The Roundup: Punishment (2024) |
Unfortunately, the action scenes in “The Roundup: Punishment” [...] lack the antic energy that makes Lee stand out in the first place. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted May 05, 2024
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Boy Kills World (2023) |
[So] much pseudo-comic stress is put on sweeping camera movements and impact-driven maneuvering that it reduces everything funny, upsetting, and spectacular about these scenes to its sheer numbing impact. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Apr 26, 2024
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Art College 1994 (2023) |
“Art College 1994” is unassumingly sweet because it’s about young people and their eternal quest for freedom and self-expression, mostly inside their own navels. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Apr 26, 2024
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Rebel Moon: Part Two - The Scargiver (2024) |
More is often less in “Rebel Moon—Part 2: The Scargiver,” not only when it comes to the movie’s sweaty, vein-activating performances, but also its over-exaggerated and under-choreographed action scenes. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Apr 19, 2024
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Sting (2024) |
The makers of “Sting,” led by writer/director Kiah Roache-Turner (“Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead”), have obviously seen a lot of genre movies, but that cinephilia doesn’t translate into good cheap thrills or crowd-pleasing adventure drama. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Apr 12, 2024
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Abigail (2024) |
It’s not badly made, just uninspired and played out. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Apr 07, 2024
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Yannick (2023) |
Dupieux’s latest will either annoy or charm you depending on how much you appreciate being led around by the nose by a filmmaker and a cast of characters who seem pretty committed to jerking you around. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Apr 05, 2024
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Satanic Hispanics (2022) |
There are several good starting points but little imaginative execution in Satanic Hispanics, a generic horror anthology whose title promises more than its individual creators deliver. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Mar 29, 2024
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DogMan (2023) |
Besson’s extra-schlocky sensibilities seem ideally suited to his star, but he never gives Jones anything worth showing off. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Mar 29, 2024
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State of Consciousness (2022) |
No part of Stephen’s pseudo-slippery narrative rings true, not even the stuff that precede his frequent lapses of sanity. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Mar 16, 2024
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Blackout (2023) |
“Blackout” is nothing new, or even essential, but it mostly works anyway thanks to Fessenden and his cast’s impressive collaboration. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Mar 14, 2024
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Amelia's Children (2023) |
“Amelia’s Children” is still poised and grotesque enough to be charming, even when it doesn’t seem to be messing with audiences at all. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Mar 02, 2024
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Article 20 (2024) |
Feel-good sensationalism isn’t always charming, but if you focus on what works in “Article 20,” you might enjoy yourself anyway. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Feb 26, 2024
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Land of Bad (2024) |
The makers of “Land of Bad” mostly reduce their movie’s antagonists to generic obstacles for Kinney, except for a few key scenes that strain to establish why they’re actually the worst. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Feb 16, 2024
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Dario Argento Panico (2023) |
“Dario Argento Panico” surpasses expectations as a retrospective docu-appraisal given Scafidi’s uncommon investment in his subjects. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Feb 02, 2024
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Fighter (2024) |
“Fighter” never strays far from the path that other movies like it have previously charted, but it still delivers most of what it promises. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Feb 01, 2024
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The Seeding (2023) |
Clay’s surreal drama isn’t stillborn as much as it’s emotionally uninflected and monotonous. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jan 26, 2024
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Founders Day (2023) |
A couple of pedal-to-the-floor melodramatic twists suggest that “Founders Days” might’ve been a bolder or just meaner genre movie, but its toothless satire, like its timid horror drama, sadly doesn’t cut it. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jan 19, 2024
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Destroy All Neighbors (2024) |
You may not remember this movie beyond isolated quips and gestures, but those moments will stick in your mind given how much fun the on-camera performers seem to be having in each other’s company. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jan 12, 2024
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I Did It My Way (2023) |
“I Did It My Way” exemplifies the current state of mass-oriented Hong Kong genre cinema, leaning hard on its seasoned cast to both remind viewers of better movies and carry this one around the bases fast enough that you still get your money’s worth. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Jan 12, 2024
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Salaar: Part 1 - Ceasefire (2023) |
Neel’s become a more polished filmmaker since “Ugramm,” and has used what he’s learned to dig his heels deeper into a style that he’s clearly been thinking about for a while now. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Dec 22, 2023
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The Archies (2023) |
“The Archies” succeeds by not overthinking its very existence. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Dec 15, 2023
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Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire (2023) |
“Rebel Moon” often looks more like an animated pitch for a movie than an actual movie with human characters, urgent drama, emotional stakes, and so forth. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Dec 15, 2023
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The Sacrifice Game (2023) |
“The Sacrifice Game” wouldn’t feel like such a lumpy blend of genre conventions if its creators remixed the past with greater conviction or technical finesse. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Dec 08, 2023
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Godzilla Minus One (2023) |
“Godzilla Minus One” is a well-calibrated popcorn movie. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Dec 06, 2023
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Werner Herzog: Radical Dreamer (2022) |
Herzog fans might also soon become frustrated by this movie’s unrevealing interviews. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Dec 06, 2023
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Cypher (2023) |
I struggled with “Cypher,” not just because of its coy but not so cute magical thinking. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Nov 22, 2023
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Monster (2023) |
While “Monster” depends on dramatic irony and revelatory twists, it’s also a showcase for director Hirokazu Kore-eda, whose knack for collaboration brings out the best in his actors, especially his younger cast members. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Nov 22, 2023
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Tiger 3 (2023) |
A mostly staid but still satisfying Indian anti-terrorist thriller. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Nov 13, 2023
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Share? (2023) |
An ungenerous techno-satire. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Nov 10, 2023
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Going to Mars: The Nikki Giovanni Project (2023) |
A feel-good artists’ profile doc that honors its subject, the American poet Nikki Giovanni, on her own terms. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Nov 03, 2023
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Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) |
Yet while there’s enough ambient dread in this “Five Nights at Freddy’s” feature to indicate why the video games are so popular, there’s more by-the-numbers plotting than needed. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Oct 27, 2023
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Night of the Hunted (2023) |
[You] might enjoy yourself if you’re eager to watch a symbolically vague killer torment yet another sobbing but resilient woman-shaped thought experiment. - RogerEbert.com
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| Posted Oct 20, 2023
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