Funny SM S

When i open my eyes every morning

When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone
should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

One day Santas Girlfriend asks him,

One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will
you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.

When I was born Devil said..

When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u
were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....

Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend-

Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-
Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE-

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-
Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....

Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank

Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I
dont have brain... 2.-----I dont have sence... 3.-----I am stupid....

If ur world is spining Round & Round.

If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating
fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year,

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on
Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't
annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!

what happend 2 ur mobile?

what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg:
welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try
later.

1
 First the engagement ring, then t
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

Last night I lay in my bed

Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and
the sky...then i thought where the fuck is my roof

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't
cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

If your a Vegetarian to be nice

If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there
food

I'm a killer, i kill people for money

I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

Its been a rough day.I got up this

Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button
fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I'm afraid 2 go
2 the bathroom

Jesus says to John come forth ill

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth
he won a toaster

At dis moment in time 10 million people

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r
drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading
my text!pass on

The rain makes all things beautiful

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain
makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

i want u 2 know dat our friendship

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i
lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

An independant study has proven

2
An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life &
who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!

I'm @ the police station

I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample
was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the
piss

girls are like phones.

girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press
the wrong button u'll be disconnected!

God made man and then rested

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one
rested

MEN-opause MEN-strual
MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-
terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH
MEN??

This cat is cat a cat good cat

This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat
buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN
CAT!

I send dis fish as a sign of friendship

><(((:>I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep
it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-) By
shehran ayub

One day Raja and rani decided to send

One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by
using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja
without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid
"This was a missed call" By Zunera

can you lend me 2000 Rs?

can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you
have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????By Kamy

terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers

terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of

3
500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i
have donated 15 litres. By Baasha

Dear user,your wife can become

Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just
SMS 'CHILD' or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free
DAD! By Manish

A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)

A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know
proper word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING
CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS: By Shabab ikram

Husband seting near to his

Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please
slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please
NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in
case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...By shaheryar

Why do couples hold hands

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just
a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !By
Pretty

girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just
check inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u
want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy. Junaid

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.

It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.FRM MALEFTY (KG) 07242250504 : FLOYD

PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs
fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu Osman (0301-
4876609 / 0345-4566641)

MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa
rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.Osman (0301-
4876609 / 0345-4566641)

4
MAMU :Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?Osman
(0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)

Hay Baby ;) Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions. Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-
4566641)

Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a
woman gains her master .Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)

Love affairs:Something like cricket,

where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day
test.Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long!Osman (0301-4876609 / 0345-4566641)

Mujhe SMS karo aur pao Bumper prize. 19" TV ka diba, Dubai janey
wale jahaz ko TA TA karney ka mauqa,10 lakh wali car ka Photo,ek
Dinner wo bhi aap ke ghar.... karan

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long!!!!! Karan
---
Full Name: karan
Mobile: 9967310619

Dosti Kro College wali se

Dosti kro college wali se, Ishq larao office wali se, Flirt kro pros wali
se, Pyar kro dilwali se, ankh larao sali se, aur maar khao ger wali se.
---
Full Name: riz
Mobile: 03013363302

5
Jaate hue kuch aisa kar ke jayo kaam -Eng Trans. Do such kind of
doings before leaving to HELL :-)
ki har galli se awaaz aaye..."ABBA JAAN"..." ABBA JAAN" Eng Trans.
that from every street, every one saying "Oh Dad"... "Oh Dad"
---
Full Name: Ashee
Mobile: 0322-6064039

ek jungle mein chuhay se sab dartey the,

agar sher us k samnay aa jata to dar kar bhaag jaata,
haathi bhi kahin chup jata,
aas paas k log yeh dekh kar preshaan huay or kaha aakhir kia maajra
hai,
pata chala chuha MQM mein tha.

Itna Khubsurat kese muskuralete ho...?

Itna Katil Kese Sharmalete Ho.....?
Bachpan Se kameene Ho .....?
Ya Shakal Ayisy banalete Ho ...?
---
Full Name: Ashan
Mobile: 009656938231

When I was born Devil said..

When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u
were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition
---
Full Name:
Mobile: 9421541874

GIRL FRIEND IS FOR FUN,WIFE IS FOR SON, GIRL FRIEND IS NIGHT

PARTNER,WIFE IS LIFE PARTNER, GIRL FRIEND IS TOOTY FRUITY
WHILE WIFE IS QISMATH POOTI
---
Full Name: HAROON
Mobile: 0333901186

Teacher: tumhari abhi pitae karti ho nakhoon(nails) q nahee katay?

Student: M,m,m,m,miss ma to subha roz kattaa ho par van ka driver
itni slow drive karta hai k rastay ma he nails bar jatay hai
---
Full Name: Azeem
Mobile: 03212951308

6
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note mama'
---
Full Name: dk verma
Mobile: 9826490976

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to

the Nurse :- I Love U sister....
---
Full Name: AARaja
Mobile: 9943474320

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many

bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi
likha hai. BC-1760!!
---
Full Name: maddy
Mobile: 9869311172

Ek Hathi Agar Nadi Me Kudta Hai To Kya Hoota

Hai.....?.....?....?Socho.....?Are Hathi Gilla Ho Jata Hai.....
---
Full Name: fadi
Mobile: 3467851188

1 sardar 2 another sardar;yaar kal tumhein bas mein thaper kyon

para;sardar replied;yaar meri tasveer larki ke qadmon mein gir gye
thi.mein ne kaha behn jee zara saari
---
Full Name: shaz
Mobile: 03336248212

Bari Barsi Khtan Gya Te Khat ke Liyande Kher.......Jera 5 min de ander

menu SMS na kare ooooooooo apni mashook da veeeer. BOLO TARA
RA RA
---
Full Name: shaz
Mobile: 03336248212

terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of

500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i
have donated 15 litres.
---

7
Full Name: HAji
Mobile: 03228668276

can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you
have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????

One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by
using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja
without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid
"This was a missed call"

Hamaare Dil ke arman aansuon me beh gaye,

Hum gali me thay gali me reh gaye,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Kambakhat light chali gayi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye..
---
Full Name: ram
Mobile: 9229807429

Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",

Bihre ke hath me "RADIO",
Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"
WAH WAH Kya Zamana Aaya hai!!!
---
Full Name: ilyas janam (ilyas_nicemuskhan)
Mobile: 0333-9685581 or 0345-3980031

Hontho se jo choo liya,

Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai,
Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain...
Aur Q na ho... Khayi Bhi to 'HARI Mirchi...'-hai
---
Arzo hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye..

Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana...

agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana...
Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narag me hai

8
Aaj kuch gahbraye se lagte ho,Thand mein kampkapaye se lagte ho...
Nikhar kar aayi hai surat aapki,Bahut dino baad nahaye se lagte ho..

Gulaab ko bhi Kamal bana dete,Uski ek Ada pe Kai gazal bana

dete...Kambhakt marti nahi mujh par larkiyaan,Warna LUCKNOW me
bhi TAJMAHAL bana dete

the hero of TITANIC went to court to prove that he is the most

HANDSOME,SWEET&SMART guy on the arth but he failed. he came out
angrily & ask. yaar ye ILYAS kon hai

HAR KHUSI KO TERI TARAF MOD DENGE, TERE LIYE CHAND TARE TOR
DENGE, TERE LIYE KHUSIYON KE DARVAAZE KHOL DENGE, 1 BAAR
HAS KE TO DIKHO TERE SAARE DAANT TOR DENGE HA..HA..HA

A 60 year old bachelor advertizes his zaroorat-e-rishta in newspaper.

After a month, he gets a letter saying, "Miyan! Is umar mein farishtey
aatey hain, rishtey nahin."
---
Full Name: Hamdard
Mobile: 9884406909

Maine kaha "Dil Ruba"

Usne kaha balance bhijwa
Maine kaha "Paise Nahi"
Usne kaha "Kaise nahi"
Maine kaha "Mehangai Hai"
Usne kaha "Ja aaj se tu mera bhai ha
---
Full Name: m.riz
Mobile: 03224029053

ek sardar darvaze k bahir bandook liye khra tha,his wife askes him"y r
u standing here".sardar ji bole"sher k shikar pe ja raha hoon.wife"to
jaao na!sardar ji"kese jaoon bahir KUTA khra he...!
---
Full Name: balam
Mobile: 03063636798

maine pucha chand se k kahin dekha hai mere yar sa hasin.....chand

ne kaha ullu k pathe itni upar se kiya dikhta hai koi
---
Full Name: adnan
Mobile: 03219691413

9
Rabri : age jante hain raat me belli pura dudhwa p jati hai.
Lalu : tumko kyee bar bole hain ki raat me baluj ka button lga kr soya
kar.
---
Full Name: Azad
Mobile: 09213151902

Sardar was standing without a shirt, a friend say's wah Sardar g barri
fit chest hey tuhaday, Sardar proudly replies; oye haley tey tu apni
parjayee de nahi vekhe.
---
Full Name: Majid
Mobile: 0333 5641879

Arre deewano mujay pehchano.

Kahan say aya main............?
May kon hoon?
May kon hoon?
May kon hoon?
May kon hoon?
?
?
?
?
number dekh k pata nahi lagda.

---
Full Name: Qaisar(03016495731)(03456520426)
Mobile: 03016495731

We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........

Searching.......
Searching.......
Still searching........
Sorry,
No brain found !!!
---
We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do
not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."
---
Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but
that is enough about me, tell me how you are?
---

10
roses are red, violets are blue,
Frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????
---
Full Name: Ö§mäñ Häïdë®
Mobile: +92-345-456-6641

1- U r a nice person.
2- line one is true.
3- line 2 is false if line 1 is true.
4- both 2&3 are true.
5- all 4 r false.
tension hoi???
ab dosro ko do.
---
Full Name: mr_A
Mobile: 03454649334

Baap: beta shadi k din susral walay

ghari dein tu suit mang lena.
Scooter dein tu car mang lena,
dokan dien tu ghar
beta: dady larki dein tu oski maa mang lon?

Ladki rikshawala se: kyo bhai jaega?

rikshawala: bilkul jaye ga madam tabhi to khada kiya hai.
Ladki:to fir ghuma k peeche se le lo.

11