Shameless S01E01 Pilot
Shameless S01E01 Pilot
Shameless S01E01 Pilot
Stop!
16
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:52,218
Ian, industrious, conscientious,
17
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,021
ambitious, incredible work ethic.
18
00:00:55,146 --> 00:00:57,256
Don't have a clue where he got that from.
19
00:00:57,381 --> 00:00:58,925
Wants to be a paratrooper.
20
00:00:59,050 --> 00:01:00,493
Knows how to disembowel an enemy
21
00:01:00,618 --> 00:01:04,230
with a roll of dimes and an old gym sock.
22
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,565
Carl.
23
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:08,601
Uh, I don't really know
that much about Carl.
24
00:01:08,726 --> 00:01:10,002
Oh, loves animals.
25
00:01:10,127 --> 00:01:12,947
Always dragging home
some poor stray he found,
26
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,841
taking them up to his room.
27
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,411
Ah, Debbie.
28
00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:21,497
Sent by God, total angel.
29
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:24,417
Raises money for UNICEF year-round,
30
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,211
some of which she actually turns in.
31
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,755
Liam, going to be a star.
32
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,524
I'm no biologist,
33
00:01:31,649 --> 00:01:34,327
but he looks a little
bit like my first sponsor.
34
00:01:34,452 --> 00:01:35,970
He and the ex were close.
35
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:38,848
Kev and Veronica, fantastic neighbors.
36
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:42,025
There's nothing they
won't do for each other.
37
00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:44,504
Or to each other.
38
00:01:44,629 --> 00:01:47,206
That didn't hurt half as
much as I thought it would.
39
00:01:47,331 --> 00:01:49,575
I never realized how
little sex I was having
40
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:51,779
till V and Kev moved next door.
41
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:55,948
And me, Frank Gallagher, father, teacher,
44
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:06,208
knows the most important
thing in this life...
45
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:10,763
we know how to fucking party!
46
00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:14,592
No!
47
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,141
Fuck you, man!
48
00:02:34,027 --> 00:02:38,502
Episode 101: Pilot Presync: IAA
corrected for addic7ed by chamallow
49
00:02:45,389 --> 00:02:47,400
7:15, monkeys.
50
00:02:47,525 --> 00:02:49,492
Come on.
51
00:02:59,003 --> 00:03:00,913
Oh, no. 7:15.
52
00:03:01,038 --> 00:03:02,915
Oh, no.
53
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,717
I fell down.
54
00:03:08,446 --> 00:03:09,722
First shower!
55
00:03:09,847 --> 00:03:11,715
You had it yesterday.
56
00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:14,110
Fuck!
57
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:18,989
Shit.
58
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,622
- Electric.
- Yeah.
59
00:03:27,164 --> 00:03:28,874
Coming through.
60
74
00:04:07,605 --> 00:04:09,165
You're almost nine.
75
00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,850
You're going to have to
start pulling your weight.
76
00:04:10,975 --> 00:04:12,285
That's right, and get a real job,
77
00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:14,461
not just dipping into the
collection plate at St. Tim's.
78
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:16,555
I'm filling in for Candi.
79
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:17,657
I can cover the rest.
80
00:04:17,782 --> 00:04:18,691
Extra kraut on mine.
81
00:04:18,816 --> 00:04:19,725
Cheese on mine.
82
00:04:19,850 --> 00:04:21,193
Somebody's got to take Liam.
83
00:04:21,318 --> 00:04:23,387
Uh, I got a calculus test.
84
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,181
I'm working after school.
85
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,185
Show-and-tell?
86
00:04:30,961 --> 00:04:32,605
Show them the birthmark on his back.
87
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,648
It looks like Latvia.
88
103
00:05:46,704 --> 00:05:48,764
I'm here to help Karen
study for her midterm.
104
00:05:49,874 --> 00:05:51,417
Okay.
105
00:05:51,542 --> 00:05:53,811
You have to take your shoes off.
106
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,229
What?
107
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,881
I'll get you a plastic bag.
108
00:06:04,121 --> 00:06:05,406
Here you go.
109
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,667
She's got this thing
110
00:06:08,792 --> 00:06:11,036
about people bringing dirt in the house.
111
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,338
Molysmophobia.
112
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,374
Right.
113
00:06:17,801 --> 00:06:20,279
Okay, so, um... if you
remember it like this,
114
00:06:20,404 --> 00:06:22,782
the... the formula is completely visible.
115
00:06:22,907 --> 00:06:24,758
Um... okay.
116
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:28,120
Midget naked witch is bending over,
117
00:06:28,245 --> 00:06:29,638
146
00:08:04,241 --> 00:08:05,584
Oh, sorry. There's a shirt I need.
147
00:08:05,709 --> 00:08:06,985
Fiona!
148
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,822
We need to go if we're going
to get a ride to the club.
149
00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:11,257
- Hey, five minutes.
- Look at me.
150
00:08:11,382 --> 00:08:12,892
No, this has got to go back tomorrow.
151
00:08:13,017 --> 00:08:15,561
I'll put it back on later.
I have a tag gun at home.
152
00:08:15,686 --> 00:08:17,229
- What?
- From when I worked at T.J. Maxx.
153
00:08:17,354 --> 00:08:18,330
Let's go.
154
00:08:18,455 --> 00:08:20,032
Hot dogs downstairs. Nachos, too.
155
00:08:20,157 --> 00:08:22,125
- Have fun.
- Bye, Lip!
156
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,258
Hey, Veronica.
157
00:09:00,597 --> 00:09:01,999
Hey.
158
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,792
Hey.
159
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,622
My purse! Fuck!
160
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:42,664
My purse!
161
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,583
That guy just took my purse!
162
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,679
Shit. Hey!
163
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:01,183
Hey! Assholes!
164
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,336
Ah, sorry.
165
00:10:04,461 --> 00:10:07,006
That was fucking incredible.
166
00:10:07,131 --> 00:10:09,875
Truly, honestly, one of the most
heroic things I've ever seen.
167
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,443
Did you see him?
168
00:10:11,568 --> 00:10:13,487
Stupid, but, man, heroic.
169
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,364
Uh, Steve.
170
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,657
Uh, my name is Steve.
171
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,075
Uh, I was...
172
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,327
going to offer to buy you a drink anyway.
173
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,538
Oh. She'll take a drink.
174
188
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,692
Please, forget it. Okay.
189
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,694
Come on, let's... let's get a cab.
190
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:54,853
Thank you.
191
00:10:54,978 --> 00:10:56,113
Come on.
192
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:06,873
Oh, shit!
193
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,254
Watch it!
194
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:15,882
Hey, fucker!
195
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,654
Got a hummer today.
196
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:41,283
What's the law on sex with pets?
197
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,994
From Karen Jackson.
198
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,537
No way.
199
00:11:45,662 --> 00:11:46,747
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
200
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,831
She got a "C" in physics. Needed a "B."
201
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:54,296
Or you, uh...
202
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,048
you wouldn't have waited
246
00:13:45,382 --> 00:13:47,726
You got my keys?
247
00:13:47,851 --> 00:13:49,127
What's going on here?
248
00:13:49,252 --> 00:13:50,462
This is Steve.
249
00:13:50,587 --> 00:13:52,956
Decked the bouncer at
Purgatory to defend my honor.
250
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,124
My honor.
251
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:55,459
Yeah? Which bouncer?
252
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:56,626
Jimmy Clifton.
253
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,704
Jimmy Cli...
254
00:13:58,829 --> 00:14:00,088
Well, Jesus, man,
255
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,132
put it there! Respect!
256
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,593
Guy just stands there,
doesn't really do anything.
257
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,178
Yeah, you'll be his third conviction.
258
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,262
- Huh?
- Third or fourth.
259
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,972
- Fourth.
- Yeah.
260
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,816
I mean, after that much
practice, you would think
261
00:14:10,941 --> 00:14:12,784
the man would have
manslaughter down by now.
262
00:14:12,909 --> 00:14:14,419
No more fuck-ups like last time,
263
00:14:14,544 --> 00:14:16,062
like leaving his dad still breathing.
264
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,122
His dad.
265
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:18,732
Yeah. Five years,
266
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:22,494
over an '87 Monte Carlo with
200,000 miles on the odometer.
267
00:14:22,619 --> 00:14:24,488
Fucking Monte Carlo!
268
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:26,431
Okay, come on, time for bed.
Up the wooden hill. Come on.
269
00:14:26,556 --> 00:14:28,400
- It's not even midnight yet!
- Aw, man.
270
00:14:28,525 --> 00:14:30,102
- Come on, come on, go!
- Already?
- Shut up.
271
00:14:30,227 --> 00:14:31,953
Move, move, move, move, come on.
272
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,373
Yeah, let me take one last look at you,
273
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,599
while you're still alive!
274
00:14:38,635 --> 00:14:39,628
Here.
275
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:46,518
What, that's his?
276
00:14:46,643 --> 00:14:49,187
Yeah. Well, company car.
277
00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:51,523
What kind of company?
278
00:14:51,648 --> 00:14:53,015
Internet startup?
279
00:14:55,052 --> 00:14:57,763
Earning what?
280
00:14:57,888 --> 00:14:59,231
Couple mil a year.
281
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,365
High school dropout.
282
00:15:00,490 --> 00:15:04,136
Got a job as a janitor
in this small tech firm.
283
00:15:04,261 --> 00:15:05,971
Within a year, he owned it.
284
00:15:06,096 --> 00:15:07,531
Made his first billion by 20.
285
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:10,809
Two Jags, controlling
interest in the Red Wings,
286
00:15:10,934 --> 00:15:13,345
10,000 employees kissing his ass.
287
00:15:13,470 --> 00:15:15,447
302
00:15:46,036 --> 00:15:47,012
- watching him take his
shirt off, now, did you?
- Huh?
303
00:15:47,137 --> 00:15:49,181
Not one bit.
304
00:15:49,306 --> 00:15:50,682
In fact, if you hadn't walked in,
305
00:15:50,807 --> 00:15:54,386
Fiona and I were going to
knock him down and tag-team him.
306
00:15:54,511 --> 00:15:56,997
Now I guess I'm stuck with you.
307
00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:59,391
Hold on.
308
00:15:59,516 --> 00:16:01,383
The Fiona tag-team, is that an option?
309
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:05,964
'Cause you know, you can
throw that in the mix...
310
00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:07,132
Anytime you wanna do it too...
311
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:08,624
I'll be doing it, all right...
312
00:16:16,399 --> 00:16:19,811
All quiet up the "wooden hill"?
313
00:16:19,936 --> 00:16:21,855
As quiet as it ever gets.
314
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,483
Straight answer: if I hadn't
busted my skull for you tonight,
315
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:25,900
would you have looked at me twice?
316
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,862
Who's saying that I looked twice?
317
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,913
Oh, you did, then.
318
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,720
I can't.
319
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:46,138
You know, 90% of the world's
problems are caused by
320
00:16:46,263 --> 00:16:48,089
tiny words that come in pairs.
321
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:51,143
I mean, we're healthy and we're
happy, but when people ask,
322
00:16:51,268 --> 00:16:53,345
we say...
323
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,437
"Not bad."
324
00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,351
You know, the first time
that I saw you dancing,
325
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:03,655
about a month back at Crobar,
326
00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:07,125
I was desperate to buy you a drink.
327
00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:12,130
You know, normally I'm shy,
so I told myself: I can't.
328
00:17:12,255 --> 00:17:16,802
She won't. We wouldn't.
329
00:17:16,927 --> 00:17:20,472
And then tonight I see you there again.
330
00:17:20,597 --> 00:17:23,766
All the indications
being that I'm getting...
331
00:17:25,402 --> 00:17:27,479
a second chance to make a good impression.
332
00:17:27,604 --> 00:17:29,572
Tell me to stop, and I'll stop.
333
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:44,529
Take it slower, slower, slower, slower.
334
00:17:44,654 --> 00:17:46,589
Slower.
335
00:17:50,927 --> 00:17:51,803
Slower.
336
00:17:51,928 --> 00:17:53,796
Slower.
337
00:18:33,970 --> 00:18:34,904
Almost... almost...
338
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,944
- Fiona?
- Shit. Shit, shit!
339
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,148
Fiona!
340
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,253
Shit.
341
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:53,173
Fiona, are you home?
342
00:18:59,496 --> 00:19:01,973
Is Fiona in?
343
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,976
Uh... she's upstairs.
344
359
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:10,408
So, uh, who's the little guy?
360
00:20:10,533 --> 00:20:11,417
Liam?
361
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,536
Liam's my brother.
362
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:13,996
Rita.
363
00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:18,610
Anne's school called. She's sick.
364
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:20,278
Everything up to 204 is clean.
365
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:21,546
I should be back in a couple of hours.
366
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:22,981
Raul won't care?
367
00:21:23,106 --> 00:21:25,850
He smoked his lunch
again. He won't even know.
368
00:21:25,975 --> 00:21:27,319
I'm making tamales tonight.
369
00:21:27,444 --> 00:21:28,353
I'll drop off a dozen.
370
00:21:28,478 --> 00:21:29,387
Okay.
371
00:21:29,512 --> 00:21:30,722
Adios...
372
00:21:30,847 --> 00:21:32,657
Oh, and take all the
toilet paper you need.
373
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:33,666
Okay.
374
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:36,194
You ready, big man?
375
00:21:36,319 --> 00:21:38,220
Let's do it. Come on. Here we go.
376
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:48,389
Kevin, did you miss me, dear?
377
00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:49,774
A beer and a bump. And, uh...
378
00:21:49,899 --> 00:21:51,476
Billy, you having one?
379
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,478
Have one!
380
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,148
Go away, Frank.
381
00:21:57,273 --> 00:21:59,942
A pen, Mr. Beerkeep, it is disability day.
382
00:22:01,411 --> 00:22:03,488
Disability people haven't
caught up with you yet?
383
00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:05,156
I thought they had some guy
384
00:22:05,281 --> 00:22:07,533
following you around with a camera.
385
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:10,795
They can follow me
around all they want to,
386
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:14,556
but they have to actually
catch me doing something.
387
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:20,505
What's with the crowd?
388
00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:21,973
Layoff at the Chrysler plant.
389
00:22:22,098 --> 00:22:23,049
You see?
390
00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:25,510
That's the problem with working.
391
00:22:25,635 --> 00:22:28,470
Too much instability. Stress!
392
00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:35,520
What the fuck is this?
393
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:38,564
What's left, after I settled
out last month's bar tab.
394
00:22:39,682 --> 00:22:41,943
Better start a new one, then.
395
00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:46,588
Oh! And a round for all
my friends from the UAW.
396
00:22:49,425 --> 00:22:51,836
Wow. Really?
397
00:22:51,961 --> 00:22:53,204
Fuck no.
398
00:23:15,952 --> 00:23:17,937
Hi.
399
00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:20,857
Wondering what your
schedule's like on Friday.
400
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:23,835
Uh, I've got a...
401
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:24,836
I've got a party.
402
00:23:24,961 --> 00:23:25,820
Want a chaperone?
403
00:23:25,988 --> 00:23:27,405
You're not eligible.
404
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:28,990
Right. Chick thing?
405
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,744
You're not that desperate.
406
00:23:32,869 --> 00:23:34,813
Wanting to see you again is desperate?
407
00:23:34,938 --> 00:23:37,715
No, feeling like you have
to... that's desperate.
408
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,834
Come on, you can get laid anywhere.
409
00:23:40,002 --> 00:23:42,128
Oh, so I'm only here for a fuck?
410
00:23:42,296 --> 00:23:44,380
Never crossed your mind?
411
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:46,858
Just when you think you've
collared your dream girl,
412
00:23:46,983 --> 00:23:48,092
her incontinent,
413
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,219
alcoholic father appears,
wrecks everything,
414
00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:51,863
and she's blaming you?
415
00:23:51,988 --> 00:23:52,972
Your dream girl?
416
444
00:24:55,151 --> 00:24:56,369
Relax, okay?
445
00:24:56,537 --> 00:24:57,862
No. No, no, you're gonna like it.
446
00:24:57,987 --> 00:24:59,898
What am I, what am I
even gonna say, all right?
447
00:25:00,023 --> 00:25:02,333
You just got to keep
talking about science.
448
00:25:02,458 --> 00:25:04,068
I don't know anything about science.
449
00:25:04,193 --> 00:25:07,438
Okay, so just read from
the table of elements.
450
00:25:07,563 --> 00:25:10,341
Cerium, erbium, praseodymium.
451
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,640
Mrs. Jackson.
452
00:25:19,208 --> 00:25:21,152
Karen is thrilled with you.
453
00:25:21,277 --> 00:25:24,522
She got an "A" on her physics midterm!
454
00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:25,523
Karen!
455
00:25:25,648 --> 00:25:27,191
Honey, your little helper is here.
456
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,395
This is my brother Ian.
457
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,697
Um, I'm out of plastic bags.
458
487
00:27:34,811 --> 00:27:36,153
He caught Lip!
488
00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:42,159
The farther you run,
489
00:27:42,327 --> 00:27:44,120
the more I will kill you!
490
00:27:56,884 --> 00:27:58,718
Really? An old lady on the train?
491
00:27:58,886 --> 00:28:00,636
Oh, yeah, yeah. The, um,
the doors were closing
492
00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:02,313
on her walker, and Lip
barely got his foot in
493
00:28:02,438 --> 00:28:03,597
- in time to stop them from...
- Ow!
494
00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:04,807
Jesus, Fiona!
495
00:28:04,975 --> 00:28:06,441
Can't remember whether that's good or bad.
496
00:28:07,777 --> 00:28:09,554
More likely, you two
jumped the turnstiles again
497
00:28:09,679 --> 00:28:11,723
and he twisted it trying
to outrun the transit cops.
498
00:28:11,848 --> 00:28:13,825
No, no! Always elevate extremities!
499
00:28:13,950 --> 00:28:15,226
Move before you give
him a fucking embolism.
500
00:28:15,351 --> 00:28:16,819
514
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:37,757
- top of the TV.
- Yeah.
515
00:28:37,925 --> 00:28:39,674
Pack of smoke-sand d a lighter.
516
00:28:41,777 --> 00:28:43,321
Shit! I'm not here! I'm not here!
517
00:28:43,446 --> 00:28:46,023
- What... ?
- You don't know us, Fiona!
518
00:28:46,148 --> 00:28:48,225
Oh, what have you done?
519
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:50,051
What have you done?!
520
00:28:58,995 --> 00:29:00,138
Can I get it through here,
521
00:29:00,263 --> 00:29:02,239
is it better coming around the back?
522
00:29:02,407 --> 00:29:03,824
Samsung washer.
523
00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:06,535
It's not me.
524
00:29:06,703 --> 00:29:07,787
Gallagher, number 2119?
525
00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:10,122
Yeah, but that's not ours.
526
00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:11,082
Well, it's paid for.
527
00:29:11,207 --> 00:29:13,209
You want me to hook it up or not?
528
543
00:30:37,493 --> 00:30:38,752
15 years!
544
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:39,971
15 years!
545
00:30:40,096 --> 00:30:41,606
I've done everything in my control...
546
00:30:41,731 --> 00:30:43,040
What did I say?!
547
00:30:43,165 --> 00:30:44,308
What did I tell you?!
548
00:30:44,433 --> 00:30:45,409
Sow and thou shall reap.
549
00:30:45,534 --> 00:30:46,969
Well, she didn't reap this from me,
550
00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:48,579
I'll tell you that.
551
00:30:48,704 --> 00:30:49,680
Reap what?
552
00:30:49,805 --> 00:30:51,983
Wh... what are you reaping now?
553
00:30:52,108 --> 00:30:53,818
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
554
00:30:53,943 --> 00:30:55,269
Whatever it is, I'll try.
555
00:30:55,437 --> 00:30:57,221
I'll... I'll... I'll really try.
556
00:30:57,346 --> 00:30:59,356
Mom, don't beg him.
557
00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:02,109
If he can do this, then
the bastard's not worth it!
558
00:31:02,277 --> 00:31:04,762
Hey, you honor thy father!
559
00:31:04,887 --> 00:31:06,405
Get fucked!
560
00:31:06,573 --> 00:31:08,556
Don't try blaming me for this!
561
00:31:09,959 --> 00:31:12,270
You're your own worst enemy, you two.
562
00:31:12,395 --> 00:31:15,206
They say bad things happen
in three, they don't.
563
00:31:15,331 --> 00:31:16,415
Twos! You two!
564
00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:20,001
Insane.
565
00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:32,390
Hello!
566
00:31:32,515 --> 00:31:33,766
How much you pay for it?
567
00:31:33,934 --> 00:31:34,926
I'm not telling you that.
568
00:31:35,051 --> 00:31:36,101
It's a gift.
569
00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:37,528
So you'd remember the phone number,
570
00:31:37,653 --> 00:31:38,529
which obviously worked.
571
00:31:38,654 --> 00:31:39,764
Your washer's in the yard, okay?
572
00:31:39,889 --> 00:31:41,482
587
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:25,526
What's bad for him is really bad for you.
588
00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:27,444
If you are stupid enough
to start lying for him...
589
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:28,696
They're just corn chips with fake hair,
590
00:32:30,606 --> 00:32:31,482
Last warning.
591
00:32:31,607 --> 00:32:32,683
You get yourself to that mosque
592
00:32:32,808 --> 00:32:34,452
so your dad stops blaming me for the fact
593
00:32:34,577 --> 00:32:35,828
that we're all going to hell.
594
00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:37,663
And talk to your mother.
595
00:32:37,831 --> 00:32:38,756
She won't talk to me.
596
00:32:38,881 --> 00:32:40,040
I can't force her to take her meds.
597
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,392
Well, I don't want the cops dragging me
598
00:32:41,517 --> 00:32:43,894
out of bed again at 4:00 a.m.
because she's out in the alley
599
00:32:44,019 --> 00:32:45,296
yelling that the CIA
is stealing her trash.
600
00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:47,548
But that happened, didn't it?
601
Hurry up.
616
00:33:45,881 --> 00:33:48,859
Just tell me you didn't go
617
00:33:48,984 --> 00:33:51,562
and get some girl pregnant.
618
00:33:51,687 --> 00:33:52,820
No worries.
619
00:33:54,990 --> 00:33:55,949
He hates me.
620
00:33:57,452 --> 00:33:59,303
You just, you look more like mom
621
00:33:59,428 --> 00:34:01,172
than any of the rest of us.
622
00:34:01,297 --> 00:34:02,456
You probably scare him.
623
00:34:02,624 --> 00:34:03,507
Yeah?
624
00:34:03,632 --> 00:34:04,875
Yeah.
625
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,293
He ain't seen nothing yet.
626
00:34:07,536 --> 00:34:09,713
Did he give you money for the field trip?
627
00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:11,507
I'll pay my own way, all right?
628
00:34:12,608 --> 00:34:14,885
No, you won't.
629
00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:32,486
You must get sick of having
to think for everybody.
630
645
00:36:53,502 --> 00:36:55,212
Hello.
646
00:36:55,337 --> 00:36:57,648
If that wasn't bullshit,
what was I wearing?
647
00:36:58,387 --> 00:37:00,425
First time you saw me,
if that wasn't a lie.
648
00:37:00,593 --> 00:37:04,137
Black top with gold trim,
649
00:37:04,305 --> 00:37:09,017
black shiny jeans, thin shoes... straps...
650
00:37:10,552 --> 00:37:13,554
sandals. With your hair pinned high.
651
00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:18,819
Dangly gold earrings that made me smile.
652
00:37:21,406 --> 00:37:25,450
A big watch... too big,
so it slid up your arm.
653
00:37:25,618 --> 00:37:27,995
But it looked great.
654
00:37:28,163 --> 00:37:32,349
And you were dancing
next to red-haired girl
655
00:37:32,474 --> 00:37:34,626
in a green dress.
656
00:37:41,116 --> 00:37:43,927
Yeah, yeah, Jenna. It
was Jenna's birthday.
657
00:37:44,052 --> 00:37:46,130
So you were... you were watching her,
658
00:37:46,255 --> 00:37:48,390
742
00:43:54,956 --> 00:43:56,716
- He seems nice.
- Right, but, uh...
743
00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:59,135
did he pitch a tent?
744
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:00,220
Huh?
745
00:44:00,388 --> 00:44:01,930
Did you make him hard?
746
00:44:04,399 --> 00:44:06,476
Ever try to play pool with a rope?
747
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,014
Yo, Kash?
748
00:45:04,626 --> 00:45:06,427
Yo, Kash!
749
00:45:12,335 --> 00:45:14,669
All right, you stack the butter,
750
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:16,504
I'll do the snacks.
751
00:45:19,140 --> 00:45:21,384
Oh, Jesus Christ, Lip.
752
00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:22,519
Sorry, sorry, Kash.
753
00:45:22,644 --> 00:45:25,680
Just, uh... thanks for the tools.
754
00:45:25,848 --> 00:45:27,124
Any time.
755
00:45:27,249 --> 00:45:28,391
Long as I get 'em back.
756
00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,751
Right.
757
00:45:35,891 --> 00:45:37,984
You must be joking.
758
00:45:40,279 --> 00:45:43,531
What, y... you're fucking him?
759
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,868
Fuck.
760
00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:15,146
He bought them for you, didn't he?
761
00:46:15,314 --> 00:46:18,775
Those shoes.
762
00:46:18,943 --> 00:46:20,710
He's married!
763
00:46:20,835 --> 00:46:22,212
With kids!
764
00:46:22,337 --> 00:46:24,155
What else does he buy you, Ian?!
765
00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:27,117
Stuff.
766
00:46:27,242 --> 00:46:28,701
Now and again.
767
00:46:28,869 --> 00:46:31,621
And you're happy with that?
768
00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:34,290
What's that make you, huh?
769
00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:35,625
A fucking kept boy at best.
770
00:46:41,456 --> 00:46:42,599
Listen to me, stupid!
771
00:46:42,724 --> 00:46:45,001
You think you know
800
00:48:28,663 --> 00:48:29,839
Um, but thanks.
801
00:48:29,964 --> 00:48:31,074
It was nice.
802
00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:32,876
- Yeah.
- Nice, right?
803
00:48:33,001 --> 00:48:35,569
Oh... no. Nah.
804
00:48:43,311 --> 00:48:45,746
Who paid for this?
805
00:48:50,952 --> 00:48:53,304
What the hell's he on?
806
00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:56,266
Uh, he thinks he bought Ecstasy,
807
00:48:56,391 --> 00:48:59,435
but the only dealer he gets
credit from is a schizophrenic.
808
00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:03,673
It's not a case of whether or not
809
00:49:03,798 --> 00:49:04,874
I agree. It's a fact.
810
00:49:04,999 --> 00:49:06,776
If I were a single parent, we'd be on...
811
00:49:06,901 --> 00:49:07,877
Aren't you a single parent?
812
00:49:08,002 --> 00:49:09,145
"Yeah, but if I had tits... "
813
00:49:09,270 --> 00:49:10,880
Yeah, but if I had tits, Steve,
814
00:49:11,005 --> 00:49:12,549
829
00:49:37,683 --> 00:49:40,543
And what do I get for
my pain and suffering?
830
00:49:40,668 --> 00:49:45,189
Followed around by a video camera!
831
00:49:45,357 --> 00:49:46,583
Where's the trust, Steve?
832
00:49:46,708 --> 00:49:49,886
The sacred bond between
employer and employee?
833
00:49:50,011 --> 00:49:52,280
Gone, Steve. It's gone.
834
00:49:52,448 --> 00:49:54,699
How's a guy supposed to work,
hurt, with kids this age?
835
00:49:54,867 --> 00:49:56,593
- Hello? Thank you!
- Yeah.
836
00:49:56,718 --> 00:49:59,162
Exactly. Excellent! Excellent.
837
00:49:59,330 --> 00:50:02,206
And her mother, God rest
her soul, Dad, stop it!
838
00:50:02,374 --> 00:50:04,500
- 'cause she better be dead, that bitch.
- Cut it out!
839
00:50:04,668 --> 00:50:08,171
Four... four-month-old baby.
840
00:50:08,296 --> 00:50:11,975
14-year-old girl just
had her appendix out,
841
00:50:12,100 --> 00:50:14,411
11-year-old Lip, ten-year-old Ian,
842
00:50:14,536 --> 00:50:18,081
a seven-year-old, a five-year-old.
843
00:50:18,206 --> 00:50:23,353
and, oh, and a Dodge Astro van!
844
00:50:23,478 --> 00:50:25,822
No. Calypso... yes. Calypso blue.
845
00:50:25,947 --> 00:50:28,224
What's the one thing that we needed?
846
00:50:28,349 --> 00:50:29,275
One word?
847
00:50:29,443 --> 00:50:31,194
- One thing?
- Sterilization?
848
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:32,429
Continuity.
849
00:50:32,554 --> 00:50:33,630
Continuity.
850
00:50:33,755 --> 00:50:36,574
Con-tin-uity.
851
00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:40,103
I... I... what could I... ?
852
00:50:41,629 --> 00:50:43,498
Oh, my God, I love this part.
853
00:50:50,718 --> 00:50:53,558
You said no strings could...
854
00:50:53,875 --> 00:50:56,844
I... I... what could I do, Steve?
855
00:50:57,012 --> 00:50:58,621
- I... I...
- Disappear for three weeks?
856
00:50:58,746 --> 00:51:00,256
- I had a breakdown.
- You went on a bender!
857
00:51:00,381 --> 00:51:04,852
I... I had... fuck
off... nervous breakdown.
858
00:51:08,389 --> 00:51:10,066
Dad, come on. Keys!
859
00:51:10,191 --> 00:51:11,734
If this... okay.
860
00:51:11,859 --> 00:51:14,570
This is... sorry.
861
00:51:15,930 --> 00:51:18,074
I like him.
862
00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:19,509
- You got any idea...
- Sorry.
863
00:51:19,634 --> 00:51:21,010
- What time it is?
- It's Frank. He's...
864
00:51:21,135 --> 00:51:22,302
Yo.
865
00:51:23,455 --> 00:51:24,914
Frank, what did I tell you?!
866
00:51:25,039 --> 00:51:26,783
Here we go. Neighbors of Satan.
867
00:51:26,908 --> 00:51:30,003
The day you start paying
rent around here, Frank,
868
00:51:30,171 --> 00:51:32,296
like the rest of us, you can
play whatever shit you want.
869
00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:34,340
But if you're gonna pump
up this time of night,
870
00:51:34,508 --> 00:51:36,593
you're gonna pump out the
stuff that we like, okay?
871
00:51:51,442 --> 00:51:53,234
- Baby.
- What? What? What?
872
00:51:58,991 --> 00:51:59,916
Yep! Yep!
873
00:52:00,041 --> 00:52:02,827
That's it.
874
00:52:08,549 --> 00:52:10,168
Watch it.
875
00:52:10,336 --> 00:52:13,654
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
876
00:52:19,627 --> 00:52:22,772
Your dad made me follow you up.
877
00:52:22,897 --> 00:52:24,974
Gave me a condom.
878
00:52:25,099 --> 00:52:26,409
He must really like you.
879
00:52:26,534 --> 00:52:29,712
He usually just gives my
boyfriends a dental dam.
880
00:52:34,008 --> 00:52:35,359
Liam's in here somewhere.
881
00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:40,623
Don't the kids wake up?
882
00:52:40,748 --> 00:52:43,076
Would you?
883
00:53:03,971 --> 00:53:05,640
Hey, Carl, you seen Ian?
884
00:53:06,074 --> 00:53:08,476
Uh, gone when I woke up.
885
00:53:42,744 --> 00:53:44,679
How can that be good for you?
886
00:53:44,847 --> 00:53:46,756
Or... or... or... or that?
887
00:53:46,881 --> 00:53:48,641
How can that be good for you?
888
00:53:48,809 --> 00:53:50,768
- Yeah. You know what's not funny, huh?
- Huh?
889
00:53:50,936 --> 00:53:52,395
You.
890
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:54,554
Ever.
891
00:54:02,463 --> 00:54:05,465
Anybody before Kash?
892
00:54:07,535 --> 00:54:09,345
One.
893
00:54:09,470 --> 00:54:10,713
Yeah? Who?
894
00:54:10,838 --> 00:54:13,082
I'm not telling you, all right?
895
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:17,377
Name a single time I've let you down.
896
00:54:21,449 --> 00:54:22,959
It was a kid at school.
897
00:54:23,084 --> 00:54:24,627
Yeah?
898
00:54:24,752 --> 00:54:26,896
All right, I guess it
913
00:55:01,856 --> 00:55:02,932
Can someone get used to that?
914
00:55:03,057 --> 00:55:05,134
I mean... I mean, the whole point
915
00:55:05,259 --> 00:55:09,029
of the digestive system
is one-way traffic.
916
00:55:11,475 --> 00:55:13,976
It just is.
917
00:55:18,573 --> 00:55:20,608
What? What?!
918
00:55:20,776 --> 00:55:22,318
"Just is."
919
00:55:22,443 --> 00:55:24,087
Like, like, we're only given our lungs
920
00:55:24,212 --> 00:55:26,447
to freakin' smoke, right?
921
00:55:38,502 --> 00:55:40,461
It's hot!
922
00:55:40,629 --> 00:55:42,004
Don't drop it off. Please don't drop it.
923
00:55:42,129 --> 00:55:43,639
Please don't drop it!
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
924
00:55:43,764 --> 00:55:45,383
oh, my God.
925
00:55:45,551 --> 00:55:46,809
The sausage is ready.
926
00:55:46,934 --> 00:55:48,144
I haven't had eggs in a while.
927
00:55:48,269 --> 00:55:50,380
942
00:56:18,332 --> 00:56:19,542
- Debbie, Carl...
- Yeah.
943
00:56:19,667 --> 00:56:21,502
You've got to take the trash out.