Listening Goals Plan

Deidre Bradley
Listening Goals Plan

Throughout the semester I have been both humbled by how much I still need to improve
on listening to others and intrigued by the depths of information I have learned. This has been a
challenging course but one that I have been immediately able to see results in my personal
journey on becoming a better listener.
This paper will reflect the journey I am on, my listening goals and how I plan to achieve
them. I appreciate this course as it has been very revealing for me personally and professionally.
Goal 1: My first goal is to yield to the other person who begins talking at the same time I
do. Typically, I continue speaking. Our text for this semester discussed Red, yellow and green
listening. In order to be a green listener, I need to withhold judgment and be supportive in the
conversation. By working on becoming more green, I must let the other person know I am truly
supporting them; I cannot convey this important message when I fail to yield to them. It is also a
sign of respect and I do my best to respect others regardless of my personal feelings toward
them, their beliefs and ideas.
Additionally, I have been practicing this in every conversation I am in. Usually, I see this
as an issue when I am in meetings. There are times when I am in meetings where there are three
to ten people at a time. The conversation is wide open and I notice people not yielding to the
other all the time. I am not more aware of this issue and work very hard to yield to others
because I understand it is not a sign of weakness, it is actually a sign of strength.
Goal 2: The second goal that I have is to wait for my turn to speak. Our textbook quotes
from the book, The Art of Listening. One particular quote resonated with me all through the
semester and I work on employing it when I am conversing with someone. The author of that
book, Michael Nichols, wrote that listening often takes a deliberate effort to suspend our needs
and reaction and to control the urge to interrupt or argue. (Worthington, Fitch-Hauser)
Strategies that I have employed and will continue to do so is to use a physical cue
reminding me to be silent during these times. For me, I clasp my hands in front of me. It has
been working very well thus far. Also, when I really have the urge to speak, I put my hand to my
mouth in some discreet fashion. Again, this physical cue reminds me to pause before I begin
speaking.
Because my goal is to be completely engaged and listen to others, I purposefully remove
distractions from my line of sight and look the other person in the eye. I am finding the more I
look them in the eye, the less I am thinking of what I need to say. The focus assignment really
helped me with this piece. I found it very difficult to concentrate, even when I told myself the
right answer, I ended up making the wrong selection. This exercise really hit home with me on
how many distractions I have during one encounter with another.
Goal 3: My third goal is to allow the person I am speaking with to finish their own
sentence without me trying to help them along or anticipate what they are going to say. For this
goal, I turn to the HURIER and Integrative Listening Models.
The final step in the HURIER Model (Hearing, Understanding, Remembering,
Interpreting, Evaluating and Responding) is what I have turned when I want to desperately help
someone along. It is something that I just repeat silently: respond appropriately to the
message. My focus now shifts to being appropriate in my conduct so that I am respectful to the
other person. It is very common in my family to finish others thoughts and sentences. So, this
has been something I have noticed that I do to others in the professional workplace. I am aware
of it and work hard at listening to the other person so that I respond to the message and not focus
on what they are having trouble saying. This is two-fold, I believe, because I am focusing on
respect and the message.
The second model that helps me in this arena is Integrative Listening. The entire model
is a great one to follow but the final piece has helped me greatly this semester. I establish goals
for the future. I have not been writing down my listening goals, but I believe I will start;
however, I always reflect on conversations and mentally develop a way to do it better the next
time X, Y or Z happens. I do believe that writing them down will be a benefit to me.
Goal 4: Finally, my last goal is to control my non-verbals by having a more empathetic
look on my face when someone is talking with me. Emotional intelligence, or awareness, is
something I have definitely been working on these past few months. At work, I took an
Emotional Quotient survey and found that I scored very well in many areas. However, this is an
area that I believe that I will continue to build upon this skill with every class, every encounter,
every meeting. Emotions are extremely powerful. I have seen many people who have great
technical skill be rejected because they cannot keep their emotions from alienating those around
them.
Our book went into very good detail about emotional intelligence. Since I have been told
by a very dear friend that I have a look on my face that conveys a very negative message, I have
been diligent to recognize that when I sit down with others to have a conversation or if I am in a
meeting. I ensure that when I meet with someone, I have a few minutes between meetings to
gather my thoughts. This includes letting my assistant know that if there is a pink sticky note on
my door and it is closed, then she is not to disturb me. This reduces stress on both of us. Then, I
take time to listen to my gut on how to approach a conversation. In my field of Human
Resources, most of my conversations are not positively received, that is, if I am separating
someone from employment or if there are disciplinary actions in place. So, it is important to me
that I am aware of my emotional state before I sit down with others.
During times such as these, I employ the acronym H.A.L.T. which stands for hungry,
anxious, lonely and tired. When I find myself in a situation where I am losing my positive
emotional state, then I ask myself, Am I hungry, anxious, lonely or tired? Any of these four
factors can produce a negative emotion. So, I do an internal inventory of what I need to do to get
back on track. It may be that I need a Snickers or a nap!
Working on the right facial expressions has been something I am very aware of. I have a
full length mirror on my office behind my door. When the door is closed, only I can see it as
others have their back to it. While I cannot see myself, the mirror itself reminds me of the
expressions I am reflecting on others. I have found that when I have changed my facial
appearance to a more empathetic look, then the other persons demeanor changes. So many
times people say, Well, I guess Im in the principals office! This tells me they presume they
are in trouble the minute HR is mentioned. When they find me to be an advocate listening to
their side of the story, it changes their behavior and makes for a more collaborative approach to
changing the behaviors of what got the person in my office in the first place. They leave feeling
like they have a coach on the sidelines willing to help them achieve their goals.
While my facial expressions are still a work in progress, I also work on the rest of my
bodys story. In my role I am often the mediator while two parties are discussing an issue. I
have the privilege to observe all the communicators and their body language. This has given me
great insight on just how important body language is.
When I am in a conversation with someone, I make sure that I am facing them with an
open body posture. Often times, depending on the situation, I will move to a round table in my
conference room so I do not appear to be the judge or, as others believe, the principal. This
allows others to be disarmed and less defensive. I understand the importance of even slightly
turning my back to them while they talk.
I prefer using an area away from my office, also, because I am more distracted in my
office. While I do send calls directly to voicemail during the exchange, I still have my email and
phone as distractors. I am trying to take my phone with me less and less, which is interesting
because that was the very reason I felt I needed a smart phoneto keep me on track while I was
in another meeting. What I have found is that it is a major distraction and, as I have learned this
semester, multi-tasking is not something I want to be good at since it actually slows me down.
I have seen fundamental and incremental changes in my communication and listening
styles this semester. I am extremely glad that I took this course and believe I am a better leader
because I did.
Reference
Worthington, D., Fitch-Hauser, M. (2012). In Listening: Processes, Functions and Competency
(p. 30). Glenview, IL: Pearson.

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Deidre Bradley

Listening Goals Plan

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