Myself as a Communicator Reflection Paper

Introduction

Many individuals find communication extremely difficult, uncomfortable, and sometimes

awkward. Individuals who practice or study good communication methods often learn to adapt
and enjoy communication, especially with others. Through taking my Communications class
during the Spring semester in 2021 I have learned countless effective communication methods
and practices that I will take into my future endeavors. In this reflection paper, I will be covering
in further detail the communication methods I have learned throughout the school year. This
essay will go over positive and negative labels and their effects on perception and self, helpful
verbal communication concepts learned during this semester, effective listening strategies, and
lastly covering positive and negative nonverbal communication methods.

Perception and Self

A positive label that I was given from a young age was the title of being an effective
listener. This label was commonly given to me by friends, family, and coworkers that stuck with
me into my adult life as I have found it has catapulted me into some amazing friendships and
career opportunities. From being given the label of someone who is a strong listener, I have
become more self-aware from a young age into my adult life. I have learned from being an
effective listener to be present and passionate when communicating or having conversations with
others as it can go a long way. In my courses Communications textbook, The Communication
Age it has a section in Chapter 1 that briefly covers the benefits of studying communication. One
benefit discussed in that section which stood out to me relating back to the label I was given was;
stronger speaking and listening skills can be associated with greater health literacy. Through
being given this label of someone who is a good listener, it has taught me how to be a more kind,
honest, caring version of myself, and helped me grow my interpersonal communication skills
when communicating with others.

Taking a look at some of the labels I have been given in a less positive light, I was
frequently referred to and given the negative label of being a ‘highly sensitive individual’
throughout my life starting in my early childhood leading into adulthood. This label has affected
many aspects of myself, specifically how I viewed my own self-image and devalued my own
self-esteem. Self-image is the mental picture we view ourselves as. An example of this is the
titles we take on through our lifetime such as; brother, mom, dad, sister, teacher, doctors, athlete,
etc. Self-esteem on another hand refers to how we assess our own individual self-worth, both
topics are discussed in further detail in Chapter 2 of The Communication Age textbook. Being
referred to as a highly sensitive person has devalued my self-esteem at times, and made me
highly insecure about asking questions, it has also caused an irrational fear of speaking up
against other individuals to the point where I will avoid speaking in general at times. It has also
made me hyperaware of my self-image when having discussions with others.

I believe it is our ethical responsibility to be mindful of the labels we are giving to others.
When giving one’s self or other individuals any sort of label we need to be extremely careful
when throwing around negative labels as this can deeply affect both someone’s self-image and
self-esteem. We need to learn and adapt to suit the needs of others and not just ourselves. You
may hear others or yourself using the following negative descriptive labels such as lazy, stupid,
uncaring, overreactive, boring, etc, to describe yourself or other individuals. These negative
labels don’t easily just disappear when a person is labeled in a negative light. You or other
individuals can begin to feel as if these labels are a part of one’s own self-image which can
extremely affect an individual’s overall self-esteem. These labels can also affect how we
communicate with others as we may not be able to live and co-exist with others as our one true
selves if we are masking and concerned about a negative label. It’s always better to be kind to
other individuals as opposed to bringing someone down, not only is it a good communication
strategy but, as others can watch you be a negative person and they may not want to surround
themselves with you, and these actions could potentially paint you to have a negative reputation
to others.

Verbal Communication

In Chapter 3 of The Communication Age Textbook and in Unit 3.1 of my

communications class, we learned about effective methods of verbal communication. I found
many concepts taught through class and the textbook helpful to my overall personal
communication. I really enjoyed specifically learning about the speech act, which is the way we
perform through speech such as using apologies, questions, promises, and threats. The content
covering constitutive rules and the cooperative principle was also extremely helpful. Constitutive
rules are personal rules that portray messages and behaviors such as texting at the table or
leaving your unwashed dishes in the sink. The cooperative principle involves the way we interact
with others, dividing into four principles; quality maxim, quantity maxim, relevance maxim, and
manner maxim. I found these principles important as they gave me further details and
explanations on why we follow specific rules when interacting with others such as a simple
greeting or discussion during a meeting. Moving forward I will be more mindful when
interacting with others taking into account the way I am speaking, which actions I am presenting
during the conversation, and if I am breaking any constitutive rules.

When we are communicating and learning to adapt our own messages in order to make
them more effective, there is an ethical line we must not cross. Hitler was described as a great
effective communicator, but he was an extremely unethical communicator. Meaning anyone can
be great at communication but you must be mindful of the messages or actions you are
portraying when communicating with others. When I was working at a previous company doing
support, I had coworkers who loved to discuss politics and ended up getting into an open loud
discussion that many of our team members picked up on. They were speaking loudly about their
negative opinions on immigration rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and some other political opinions.
They crossed an ethical line at the workplace by portraying a message that immigrants and
anyone apart of the LGBTQ+ community weren’t welcome here or on ‘their’ team. These
actions made other coworkers at the workplace who were personally affected by these opinions
feel extremely uncomfortable, unsafe, and unequal which is not fair to the workers who were just
trying to do their jobs. They were eventually terminated because their loud debate was caught on
a live call, this is why ethical communication is put into place to make sure others feel included
and equal.

Listening

In my first paragraph in the section titled Perception and Self, I discuss a positive label I
was given of being an effective listener. In Chapter 5 of my communications textbook and Unit
3.2 of my course, we also covered in further detail specific methods of effective listening. Again,
I do believe I am an effective listener. A large portion of Chapter 5, discusses the topic of hearing
vs. listening communication, which is something I take into account daily when interacting with
others. Because I am mindful of hearing vs. listening during the majority of conversations it
leads me to believe I am such an effective listener. I don’t enjoy having one-sided conversations
with others where I am only waiting to spew my opinion as someone else is talking. I personally
like to actually focus all of my attention on the individual speaking, and be able to analyze the
information they are telling me and branch off into our own conversation or opinions once the
individual I am communicating with is done sharing their ideas. The textbook covers situational
distractions, which are distractions like a T.V. in the background, phone vibrations and
notifications, and loud overcrowded areas that prevent us from having an effective conversation.
I also try to eliminate situational distractions when communicating with others as it is polite to
both you and the other individual you are communicating with, it also makes it easier for you to
understand and formulate better conversations when distractions are eliminated.

Just from sitting back listening and showing the individual empathy that I am
communicating with, has made such a positive impact in my relationships with others. It makes
others feel seen, heard, and what they are talking about is meaningful to me. I try to always
engage by nodding, using eye contact, and giving verbal cues that I am listening to the individual
speaking. I definitely still have areas I can improve on when speaking with others. The textbook
covers in Chapter 5 a negative aspect in communication called failure to focus on the message,
this comes from distractions of the individual speaking like using big words or using filler words
such as “likes” or “um’s”. I find myself commonly using fill words in conversations and steering
off-topic. I can improve this habit by taking a moment to think about the next words that coming
out of my mouth and focusing on the main topic of the conversation which I am having.

Nonverbal Communication

In Chapter 4 of the textbook, we learned about methods of Nonverbal Communication. I

specifically was able to reflect on the information we learned through the chapter and apply the
information I learned to nonverbal behaviors I succeed at. I feel I am really great with using
Kinesics behaviors when interacting with others. I learned from the textbook that Kinesics is the
study of body movement, it involves both gestures and posture. When I am speaking with other
individuals I try to stand up straight and meet eye contact with them, I will also try to nod, or use
my hands when I am describing situations in conversation. I also do really well with
understanding Proxemics when conversating with others. Proxemics is the study of how we use
space and distance to communicate. I am good at reading and understanding space when
communicating with others, I try not to touch others unless I absolutely have to with permission,
I also read into verbal and nonverbal cues to make sure the individual I am speaking to is
comfortable with what I am doing spacially from them.

Just like all areas of communication, there are still nonverbal behaviors that I absolutely
need to work on. I need to focus on the functions of nonverbal communication which are
repeating, accenting, conflicting, complementing, regulating, and substituting. Specifically with
maintaining and holding eye contact which affects the complementing function of nonverbal
communication. As when you hold eye contact with someone it shows them you are interested in
the conversation that is going on. It also affects the regulating function of nonverbal
communication as regulation is used to keep the flow of a conversation going often by eye
contact like when making eye contact with someone in a group when you would like them to
share.

Final Summary

The takeaway from this communications course is indescribable I have learned so much
knowledgeable information through my textbook readings, course modules, discussion, and
especially from the assignments I completed throughout the course. This essay covered
communication concepts on the perception and self, principles on verbal communication,
effective listening skills, and good practice nonverbal communication methods. I will be able to
take the information learned from this course and apply it to my future career, in other social and
academic events. I definitely recommend that every person takes at least one communication
class in their lifetime.
 Before this course, I thought I knew fairly well what information there was to primarily
know but through reading the textbook material, module content, completing more than a
handful of assignments, and discussions with students I have come to the realization that I still
have a long way of improvement and education before I will come close to meeting my goals of
being an effective and knowledgeable communicator. I definitely plan to keep working toward
improving my overall communication methods and knowledge to become a better communicator
with time.