The Jake Hollow Guide

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The Jake Hollow Guide on How to Persuade Women

Chapter 3:

NegativE AspectS
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.-Confucius

very woman experiences love and appreciation differently. Some women feel loved when touched or hugged. Others experience love when you say certain things to them, while still others feel love when you buy them things...and the list goes on. Romance is the same. Let me help you with some questions women ask themselves.

Is he attractive? Is he a player? Should I trust him? Does he have a violent temper? How demanding can I be? How far would he go for me? Would my parents like him?
It is a fact you will have to prove yourself. Fear of embarrassment is a very powerful motivating force. Many great well-known actors live their lives terrified of stage fright. Even after years of performing in front of an audience, they will insist on a friend being there to support them. These actors know that a friendly face will distract them long enough for them to pull through. 1

1 Chapter 15: Positive Thinking and my up-coming book Jake Hollows How to Deal with Emotions and the Life of a Motivational Speaker Part II: Defining Emotions Chapter 1: Words Can Lie, the Body Cannot

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Part I: Social Engagements Chapter 3: Negative Aspects

It is the same when approaching a woman in a mall, at a bus stop, or in a club. The fear of ridicule can stop you from accomplishing many of the things that you would like to accomplish with your life. Basically, the fear of rejection is you being afraid that you will get hurt if you approach women. I will show you how to get over your fears by simply saying Hi or talking to women all the time, having a piece on the side, and getting your validation from life, not from women. This will help increase your confidence and almost make you immune to rejection. It will let you interact more freely with women. Your fear of women will scare them away. They want men who can take care of themselves and who act as if they can take care of themselves. Personally, you have two options when you want to meet women in front of others (groups of friends or not). Option number one is to test my techniques on her and then walk away. If you walk away without attempting it, though, your friends may not appreciate your abilities. Option number two is to make an effort but fail; you choose to put yourself out there and possibly fail rather than be ridiculed. As a result, you make your best move on her. 2 That is how strong that type of fear of punishment can be. 3 By this you will be getting closer in brushing away your fears. Fear of failure can be a very strong emotion, but you will never know if you can succeed until you make the attempt. As Thomas Alva Edison once said, I have not failed ten thousand (10,000) times; I have successfully found ten thousand (10,000) ways that did not work. Otherwise, the only way to fail is to quit. You can only fail your way to great success.

2 Meaning you were successful. 3 You did not want to be humiliated in from of your friends.

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The Jake Hollow Guide on How to Persuade Women

You can use this in many situations, from meeting women in general, to your relationships, to business, etc. Or you can use this to improve the connection with your inner self. The fear of loneliness also causes many to stay in failed relationships long after true love and affection have gone. The important thing is that you worked to fix it even though you are still in the trap. Negative emotions such as fear are not very good motivators, but there is no denying that they are a powerful, persuasive force. The more you discover the sacred treasure of who you are and what you are capable of, the better equipped you will be to unlock the treasure chest inside yourself. That energy within leads you to explore a greater understanding that will open the door to greater self-esteem, self-worth, confidence, inner happiness, and peace. Without this knowledge, attempting to love others and yourself can be very confusing. Sometimes, even when you are supporting others and yourself, you unknowingly sabotage your success and relationships. The most powerful, influencing factor of all is consistency. Being able to project that you have a consistent set of standards and that you will never deviate from them has an awesome effect on women. The longer you project that you have a consistent set of standards from which you will never deviate, 4 the more women will trust you. From there, trust becomes a tremendous ability to persuade. Before you can learn this, or how to use trust, you must learn to make people believe you. Once you bond with women, persuasion will follow. The closer the two of you become, the more you can influence her. Do not ever let yourself be intimidated. Follow your instincts. Do not be gullible. Live your life around your dreams, and you will live your life like the movie it was meant to be. Live your life without dreams, and you live a life full of discouragement, frustrations, and problems.

4 To stray especially from a standard.

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Part I: Social Engagements Chapter 3: Negative Aspects

When you open a door for a woman, it shows her that you are a gentleman with class who is going to take care of her and treat her as a special person. It does not matter how much she believes, politically, that men and women should be equal, because on a romantic level she will appreciate you making this gesture. Whatever you do, do not make this an act, but make it a part of who you are. Follow your insights, instincts, and intuition. You may be sensitive to subtle nuances and smart enough to understand what they mean to you. You also have the tools and wherewithal to put your instinctive knowledge into action. Even an insignificant offer of assistance may unlock a significant door. A generous attitude attracts prosperity. Your viewpoint, tolerance, and attitude will make others proud to be in your presence. Stand your ground. Do not back down from a challenge or dare. Instead, be brave. You can face your fears with ease; take the initiative and add a few more irons to the fire. When you catch a womans attention, you must arouse all of her senses such as sound, sight, touch, smell, and taste. You must use your body language to its fullest. You will be required to rehearse every detail to ensure a smooth and perfect image of yourself. Often, you may assume that because you are working so hard to communicate, that she will automatically understand you. My friend, this is so untrue. Most of the time, you simply do not say what you mean. She will judge you by what she thinks you said rather than what you actually said. And if what you said offended her, it does not matter if that was not your intention. Your intention is not important if she does not understand you. Remember that what determines her reaction here is how and what you say to her. Learn to put in every effort to make it easy and clear so that she understands. The key to charm and effective persuasion is not to concentrate on what you want to get from her; you must focus on what you can give her and understand that when you give her what she
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The Jake Hollow Guide on How to Persuade Women

wants, she will give you what you want! Do you follow? If you have given good things in the past, it may reward you in the present, since positive thinking affects positive things. As soon as you sense that you are cascading downward, you must do something constructive to halt it. Access the energy in your anger and fear and put it to positive use. When faced with an overwhelming setback, you may understandably see only the negative in your situation. I will help you find the positive, however. Now grab some paper, a pen, or pencil. Look at the problem. Write down two positives and two negatives. Now write one negative and one positive for each of these positives and negatives. Continue doing this by having the negatives and positives flow as one until you have exhausted all possibilities for looking at situations differently. You will be amazed at the positives you will find. For every negative, there truly is a positive.

How do you beat the fear of women turning you down?

I told Clifford Lee in an interview I gave him when I was still with Jezebel, 5 You should make your move on a minimum of ten beautiful women a day. But do not hesitate...make your move in less then ten seconds once you see them. Women are everywhere; there is no shortage of places to meet women. Turn every place into a prospective situation to practice. The best prospect may be just in front of you and you just do not see her.

5 My up-coming book Jake Hollows How to Deal with Emotions and the Life of a Motivational Speaker Part I: Life-Coaches on Internal Damage, Chapter 4: Jakes Interviews

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Part I: Social Engagements Chapter 3: Negative Aspects

You can do this anywhere: a bus stop, a mall, nightclubs, on the street, etc. Just say Hi with a sincere smile, and watch to see if they return the same. That is all you need to start with. Then just continue to walk. Now, if you want to be bold, you can add:

Would you like to go some place for a cup of coffee?

Or even bolder:

Do you want to fuck?

Or:

I want you so bad in my bed.

Yes, some women may slap you, some may run, some may be in shock, and some women may laugh. However, one of the ten will be interested because of your boldness. Some will just talk with you, while others will go all the way with you...it excited them. There are two ways to become comfortable with the nos: never take rejections too personally, and never feel foolish. Just see it as one more no that will lead you to a yes.

Determine and Process

Obligation.

Do you feel obligated to anybody or anything?

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Obligation on its own, I do not agree with, yet obligation as a choice is another matter entirely. I would much rather do things out of appreciation than obligation. Business, dating, and relationships are the same.

Why?
They are the same concept in my book. You are taught to compete in business, while in dating and relationships, you are taught to think of your happiness first (1st). I, on the other hand, believe in being creative 6 in business, and thinking of whomever I date or am in a relationship with as being first (1st) without losing myself. You see, their happiness will make me happy. Please do not misinterpret this as being selfish. Here are some different characteristics of women you must learn. An assertive woman will make her decision quickly. An unassertive woman will take her time to make her decision. An emotional woman will be warm, while an unemotional woman will appear cold. Here are some examples of how to be with the four types and how to handle them. Assertive/Emotional: Dazzle her with how exciting it will be to be a part of you. Unassertive/Emotional: Warm her up slowly; tell her how good you will both be together. Assertive/Unemotional: Tell her the bottom line, and push for a fast decision. Unassertive/Unemotional: Give her as many details as you can since she will make decisions based on facts.

How do you determine if she is open-minded or closed-minded?

An open-minded woman requires show and tell to persuade her. A closed-minded woman must see and do.
6 Gino DiCaprios The Universal Law of Creation: When You Seek, Ask, See, and Truly Believe Beyond Any Shadow-of-a-Doubt Whatsoever, You Shall Receive! Book III: Part IV: Secrets and Laws of the Universe Chapter 2: Surreptitious

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Part I: Social Engagements Chapter 3: Negative Aspects

If she acts on insight, instinct, or intuition, she is dealing with her feelings and not her visual or auditory senses. For example, she may say, I see your point, I hear you, and, I feel that you are right. Do you follow?

Does she process the information you have given her with conscious or unconscious thought?
If she is a conscious thinker, she will process your information with her five senses. If she is an unconscious thinker, however, she will go with her intuitive feeling about you. If she is a conscious thinker, therefore, you must let her see, hear, and touch. If she is an unconscious thinker, it is more important to romance her. 7 If she is a person who is habitually angry, consider appeasing rather than antagonizing her. Be careful not to exacerbate the situation with her by pointlessly taking a stand on principles when the wisest course of action may be to agree to her demands. Do not confuse this as backing down; you are only cooling off the situation without selling yourself out. You do follow me on this, do you not?

Rejections

If your date does not want to kiss you, do not take it personally; it is better to know now than later. Interpret her rejection to mean she is not ready to kiss you. Maybe you had bad breath, maybe you did not romance her, or maybe she is testing you. However, I strongly advise you to avoid making it seem that you are a loser. Never, ever, ask a woman:

Why not?
7 Taste and Smell.

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The Jake Hollow Guide on How to Persuade Women

It will make you look like a child and not a man. It forces her to say something when she has not made up her mind about you or to decided where you fit yet. Whatever you do, do not ask, or beg. Begging makes you look powerless and shows that you have no control or resolution to make your life what you want it to be. It demonstrates to her that you go groveling through life. Remember, be patient. Some women will test you to see how you handle them (and life in general) by saying no. Others just want to see if it is them you want, or just their bodies. Some just do not want you. There are also women who can read your body language to see if you are a good lover or not. For them, it does not matter that you may believe you are a great lover or not. It is what they sense that matters. Great lovers do not brag. Do not dwell on the rejections, but focus on something positive. Maybe she is involved with someone in a serious relationship, or maybe she just came out of a bad relationship. You must realize that if you are persistent, it will make you successful. Keep pursuing beautiful women until you finally have the success you truly want. This will help build up your self-esteem, confidence, and allow you to pick up women more easily. Practice makes perfect. If it is only one woman you want and you feel she is special, then the road you must take will be different. This will require you romancing her, making her feel alive, doing exciting things that will not bore her. Always put her first (1st). You must have passion and not worry about whether the outcome is working out or not. If you are not interested in a relationship but stop chasing other women once you find a lover, Ill tell you now that your lover will become your girlfriend or future wife, whether you like it or not. 8

8 You have been whipped.

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Part I: Social Engagements Chapter 3: Negative Aspects

If this is not what you want, than you must continue chasing other women. Do not get me wrong; you can have a part-time lover on the side, as long as it is only once or twice a month sex without misleading her. Pursuing more than one woman lets women know that you are full of fresh energy; you are more relaxed, more creative, and more exciting since you engage with life. Always make them feel special and interesting. Go with the flow and see where it goes. You know you have many women to chase after, so if one turns you down, it does not matter because she is not your last hope for sex. If she is interested in having you as a boyfriend or being in a serious, committed relationship, then be honest and walk away. However, if you are interested, you must walk away from those who do not seem like the type you want to spend your life with. In both situations, you must know what you want. Cut to the chase and save yourself (and her) time and energy. You are a real man who wants respect and who cannot be taken off the course that you have set up for your life. When you are on a date, learn to be decisive. Being decisive shows your date that you are a man who is in charge of your life and not wishy-washy. It will put you miles ahead of most of the other boys she meets. You, as a confident man and not a boy, will take on the posture that makes you feel more confident. An unconfident person slumps and slouches, letting your shoulders come forward as if you were terribly depressed; you would also breathe shallowly. Ask yourself these questions and answer them:

Do I look too serious, or do I smile enough? How do I sit? How do I stand? Are my shoulders straight or slouched?
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Do I keep my head up, or down? Do I breathe shallowly, or deeply?

Now work on yourself.

Viper Women
(or believe you are),

I am sure you do not like to be told what to do. You love to be in total control of your own thoughts. But...

Why is it that the moment you are in love differently?

you start to act

You seem to be in a spell. You are now focused mostly on this new lover whom you are now in love with. Before this love thing, you used to be much more preoccupied with your own concerns and not someone elses. With this emotion, you have lost the ability to think straight; you begin to act foolishly and you forget about your friends, family, etc. If you are already in a committed relationship, your spouse will pay. You surrendered your will and gave it to this new lover because you wanted to possess her. By being in love, you surrendered yourself. You believe you are untouchable or more special than anyone else your new lover has been with, or will ever be with. Whatever you do, do not fool yourself. Reality will hit sooner than you think. As a real master, you must learn to never fall in love first (1st). You must only feel that it is truly lust, so that the spell will not hit you. Love 9 and lust 10 may feel the same but they are not the same. When you are in lust, you are harder to control, you are not as emotional, and in addition, you are more easily satisfied. For your friends, family, and your spouse, it would
9 Is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. 10 Is a craving for sexual intimacy, sometimes to the point of assuming a self-indulgent character.

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Part I: Social Engagements Chapter 3: Negative Aspects

be easier to leave your new love affair and not forget those who truly love you. You must learn to pay full attention to the part of yourself that draws women towards you or you will seem like a loser, a slime ball, or a manipulator. Learn to pay close attention to women. Otherwise, you will make many terrible mistakes and limit your potential. You may also gather that beauty may not be what will catch your heart in a woman. Rather, it may be a woman who keeps you guessing while she lives her life and entertains you. As a man, you will eventually grow bored with a woman, no matter how beautiful she may be; you will yearn for different pleasures and for adventure. All a woman needs to do to turn you around is to create the illusion that she offers you variety as well as adventure. You are easily deceived by appearances; you have a weakness for the visual. You cannot be bored with this kind of woman. Nor can you discard her for long because you will be back for her. If she keeps up this distraction, never letting you see who she really is, you will follow her until you drown. She can transform you, no matter how strong or responsible a person you are, into a childish slave. The worst are the women who make themselves look like victims so that you will be at their rescue. While you are waiting to catch your fish, she is all over you dragging you down with her, if you see what I mean.

Viper Men

You can walk by a woman and set her heart on fire by just looking her straight in the eyes from a distance with an intense and clear look. If you see her again, do it again so that your eyes will be unforgettable to her. She will return the gaze, because she knows most men would not dare approach her in this manner. Knowing, even believing, that you are only pursuing her instead of other women will thrill her.
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Sending her beautifully written secret notes will leave her to want and wait for more letters. As a result, she will live to wait for them. Texting is too easy; writing by hand is more romantic. You will be on her mind every moment of her day and night; your spell has worked to numb her senses. A key to distracting women is to fill their eyes and ears with details, little rituals, and colorful objects. Detail is what makes things seem real and substantial. A thoughtful gift will not seem to have an ulterior motive. A ritual full of charming little actions is so enjoyable to watch. You prefer to focus on the pleasant little details rather than on the larger picture.

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