COMMANDO

DAD

A BASIC TRAINING MANUAL

for the First Three Years of Fatherhood
Neil Sinclair

First published in the United States of America in 2014 by Chronicle Books LLC.
First published in the United Kingdom in 2012 by Summersdale.
Text copyright 2012 by Neil Sinclair and Tara Sinclair.
Illustrations copyright 2012 by Matt Smith.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any
form without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Sinclair, Neil, 1970Commando dad : a basic training manual for the first three years of fatherhood / by Neil Sinclair.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-4521-2739-2
1. Fatherhood. 2. Child rearing. I. Title.
HQ756.S5446 2014
306.8742dc23

This book is dedicated to my own amazing unit: my wife, Tara, and our three
troopers, Sam, Jude, and Liberty. It is also for all the dads who kept asking,
Have you written that book yet? I really need a copy.

2013030004
Manufactured in China
Designed by Sarah Higgins
The information in this book should not be treated as a substitute for qualified medical advice.
Always consult a medical practitioner. Neither the author nor the publisher can be held responsible
for any loss or claim arising out of the use, or misuse, of the suggestions made or the failure to take
medical advice.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street
San Francisco, California 94107
www.chroniclebooks.com
A percentage of the authors profits from this book will go to the following charities:
Acorns Childrens Hospice Trust, a registered UK charity offering a network of care and support for
life-limited and life-threatened children and young people, and their families.
The National Memorial Arboretum, the UKs year-round center for Remembrance, a spiritually
uplifting place that honors the fallen, recognizes service and sacrifice, and fosters pride in the country.
The arboretum is part of the Royal British Legion family of charities.

Thank you all.

Contents

CHAPTER 3SLEEP AND OTHER NOCTURNAL MISSIONS . . . . 52

SLEEP ROUTINE: WHAT IT IS, AND HOW AND WHEN TO INTRODUCE IT . . . . . . . . 54

FOREWORD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

Teach your BT the difference between night and day. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

AUTHORS NOTE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

Techniques for establishing a sleep routine. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

Introduce an evening routine. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR BT WAKES AT NIGHT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58

NAP ROUTINE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

INTRODUCTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

Common nap cues. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

HOW TO USE COMMANDO DAD: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

SLEEP DEPRIVATION. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

CHAPTER 1THE ADVANCE PARTY: PREPARING BASE CAMP. 18

HOW TO PREPARE BASE CAMP FOR YOUR BT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

Where to get help. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

CHAPTER 4KITBAGS: PACKING EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS . . . . 62

Clean. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Prepare. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Assign specific areas for your BT and their equipment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

ESSENTIALS YOU NEED WHEN BRINGING YOUR BT FROM THE

HOSPITAL TO BASE CAMP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

BASIC SURVIVAL KIT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

BASIC SURVIVAL KIT FOR LIGHT-ORDER MISSIONS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
BASIC SURVIVAL KIT FOR MID-TERM DEPLOYMENT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
BASIC SURVIVAL KIT FOR LONG-TERM
DEPLOYMENT (OVERNIGHTERS). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
CLOTHING KITBAG FOR LONG-TERM DEPLOYMENT (OVERNIGHTERS). . . . . . . . .

64
66
67
67
68

Clothes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

Exceptions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69

Changing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

Tips for packing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

Transport . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

Snacks. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

CHAPTER 2NEW RECRUITS:

SURVIVING THE FIRST 24 HOURS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

CHAPTER 5NUTRITION: AN ARMY MARCHES

ON ITS STOMACH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

HOW TO HOLD YOUR BT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HOW TO CHANGE A DISPOSABLE DIAPER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
HOW TO CLEAN YOUR BTS STUMP (UMBILICAL CORD). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
BOTTLE ADMINISTRATION. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

32
33
36
36

How to sterilize a troopers bottle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

WEANING: WHAT IT IS, AND HOW AND WHEN TO DEAL WITH IT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74

Good first foods to experiment with . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
Foods to avoid in the first year. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77

How to make a bottle of breast milk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

How to make a bottle of formula milk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
How to heat a bottle of breast milk or formula. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
How to bottle-feed your BT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
How to burp your BT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43

HOW TO PREPARE A BED FOR YOUR BT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45

HOW TO DEAL WITH CRYING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
BEYOND THE FIRST 24 HOURS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

SELF-FEEDING: WHAT IT IS, AND HOW AND WHEN

TO DEAL WITH IT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
HOW TO RELIEVE THE PAIN OF TEETHING. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
THE IMPORTANCE OF LEADING FROM THE FRONT AND SETTING A
GOOD EXAMPLE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
THE IMPORTANCE OF TAKING TIME FOR MEALTIME. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
THE IMPORTANCE OF A BALANCED DIET AND PROPER PORTION SIZES. . . . . . . . 82

HOW TO PREPARE NUTRITIOUS FOODS FOR THE UNIT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83

Good ideas for breakfast . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84
Good ideas for lunch. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85
Good ideas for dinner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85

CHAPTER 8CALL THE MEDIC: BASIC FIRST AID AND

UNIT MAINTENANCE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112
HOW TO ASSEMBLE A BASIC FIRST-AID KIT FOR YOUR TROOPER. . . . . . . . . . . . 115
HIGH TEMPERATURES. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .116

How to introduce variety to prevent boredom. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86

How to deal with a high temperature. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117

HOW TO PLAN MEALS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87

HOW TO PREPARE REAL FOOD FAST: HEALTHFUL SNACKS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88

MINOR COMBAT INJURIES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117

CHAPTER 6STANDING ORDERS:

ESTABLISHING DAILY ROUTINES. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90

Bites and stings: insect . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

FEEDING ROUTINE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92

Cuts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

Common I am hungry cues. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93

Poison ivy and poison oak . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

Common I am full cues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93

Bites and scratches: animal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117

Bumps and bruises . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

Nosebleeds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119

MEAL ROUTINE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
REVEILLE: MORNING ROUTINE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94

COMMON TROOPER AILMENTS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119

Preparing the night before. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94

Cradle cap (BT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120

Colic (BT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119

Waking-up routine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96

Diaper rash (BT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120

Breakfast . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96

Colds (BT/MT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120

Brushing teeth. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96

Constipation (BT/MT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121

Getting dressed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98

Croup (BT/MT) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121

AFTERNOON ROUTINE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98

Dehydration (BT/MT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122

Returning to base camp. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98

Diarrhea (BT/MT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122

Entering base camp. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

Ear infections (BT/MT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123

LIGHTS-OUT: EVENING ROUTINE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

WEEKEND ROUTINE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100
ROUTINE FLASHPOINTS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101

Eye infections and blocked tear ducts (BT/MT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123

CHAPTER 7MORALE: A COMMANDO DADS

SECRET WEAPON. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
WHAT MORALE IS AND HOW TO BUILD IT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
HOW TO MAINTAIN MORALE IN CHALLENGING SITUATIONS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
HOW TO ACCEPTAND ASK FORHELP. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
THE IMPORTANCE OF A SUPPORT NETWORK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

106
108
109
111

Flu (BT/MT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124

Measles and chickenpox (BT/MT) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124
Vomiting (BT/MT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125

CONDITIONS THAT REQUIRE IMMEDIATE ACTION. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126

Meningitis (BT/MT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126
Pneumonia (BT/MT). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127

CHAPTER 9WELCOME TO THE THUNDERBOX:

TOILET TRAINING. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128

HOW TO ENTERTAIN YOUR TROOPERS IN THE GREAT OUTDOORS. . . . . . . . . . . . 156

The golden rules for outdoor adventures. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156
Fun outdoor activities. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157

TOILET TRAINING: WHAT IT IS, AND HOW AND WHEN TO DEAL WITH IT. . . . . . . 130
THE GOLDEN RULES OF TOILET TRAINING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
ESSENTIAL KIT LIST FOR TOILET TRAINING. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132

HOW TO ENTERTAIN YOUR TROOPERS ON SHOPPING TRIPS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158

HOW TO ENTERTAIN YOUR TROOPERS WHILE ON MANEUVERS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159

TOILET-TRAINING ROUTINES. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133

Entertaining when transporting troopers in a stroller . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160

CHAPTER 10ON MANEUVERS:

TRANSPORTING YOUR TROOPERS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
THE GOLDEN RULES OF TROOPER TRANSPORTATION. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136
TRANSPORTING YOUR TROOPERS ON FOOT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136

Entertaining when transporting troopers by car . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160

Entertaining when transporting troopers on public transport. . . . . . . . . . . . . 161

CHAPTER 12DEALING WITH HOSTILITIES. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 166

Stroller . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138

THE IMPORTANCE OF ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .168

UNIT REGULATIONS (SETTING RULES). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169
DISCIPLINE: WHAT IT IS, AND WHEN AND HOW TO USE IT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169

Travel system. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139

Age-appropriate sanctions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 171

Baby carrier. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137

Safety harness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139

Buggy board . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140

Leading by example. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172

MT TANTRUMS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173

TRANSPORTING YOUR TROOPERS BY CAR. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140

What is a tantrum?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173

Car seat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140

Avoiding tantrums . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174

Car survival kit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141

Dealing with tantrums. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175

Car first-aid kit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 142

TRANSPORTING YOUR TROOPERS ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 142

Bus or subway. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143
Train. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143
Airplane. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144

The aftermath. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176

DISSENSION IN THE RANKS: DEALING WITH

HOSTILITY BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176
Underlying causes of conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179

DEALING WITH CONFLICT: PUBLIC HOSTILITIES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179

CHAPTER 11ENTERTAINING YOUR TROOPERS. . . . . . . . . . . 148

PASSING OUT CEREMONY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 183

THE GOLDEN RULES FOR ENTERTAINING YOUR TROOPERS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150

HOW TO ENTERTAIN YOUR TROOPERS AT BASE CAMP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150

GLOSSARY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184

Fun base-camp activities. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 152

Toys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 152
TV. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154
Movies. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154

PLACES TO GO, THINGS TO DO. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155

ABOUT PLAYDATES. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155

INDEX . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189

Foreword

Authors Note

For most couples, bringing a baby home from hospital is the exciting start of a
new life as parents. However, it is easy to feel completely overwhelmed by the
enormous sense of responsibility for this new little life, and those first days and
weeks bring with them the realization that suddenly every task seems to require
incredible organizational skills; looking after a baby or young child is almost like a
military operation!

I am a stay-at-home Commando Dad and registered day-care operator, and

have personally tried and tested all of the techniques outlined in this basic
training manual. Where I mention anything to do with the health and safety
of your troopers, I have had the text reviewed and approved by a health-care
professional with a view to making sure that the information contained in
the book is accurate and in keeping with current thinking and practice at the
time of publication. However, the publisher, author, and experts disclaim any
liability from any injury that may result from the use, proper or improper, of
the information contained in this book. Guidance and guidelines on baby care
change constantly, and Commando Dad should not be considered a substitute
for the advice of your health-care professional or your own common sense.

Neil Sinclair knows all about military operations, having served as a Royal Engineer
Commando. When he exchanged his military life for the role of stay-at-home dad,
he realized how important it was to have an accessible reference manual.

Commando Dad is a fantastic new parenting manual that provides just that. It
is concise and small enough to carry with you, but contains a wealth of step-bystep instructions for everything you need to do for your baby and toddler. The
novel presentation in the style of a military handbook makes it a fun read, while
providing simple, clear guidance for everything from preparing base camp (getting
everything ready at home prior to the babys arrival) to bomb disposal (getting
rid of dirty diapers!).
As a family doctor I frequently see new moms and dads who feel the pressures of
parenthood, and with teenage boys of my own the memories are not too distant
regarding how challenging it can be. I highly recommend this great new manual,
which I can imagine being a well-thumbed and much-loved addition to every new
dads library.

Content has been approved by:

Rachel Jessey, Nutritional Therapist, DipCNM, mBANT, www.benourished.co.uk
Sally Jordan, RGN and Health Visitor
Dr. Jan Mager-Jones, MB, ChB
Damon Marriott, Approved Child Safety Advisor for the Britax Excellence Centre
With thanks to Sarah Thorsby and Sara Szkola, MD.

Dr. Jan Mager-Jones, MB, ChB

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13

INTRODUCTION

Introduction
TO ALL DADS (henceforth known as Commando Dads):
This book has been written for YOU.
I have been a Royal Engineer Commando, a physical education teacher, a security
guard at the UK Mission to the UN in New York, a stay-at-home dad, and a
registered day-care operator, and I can honestly tell you that there have been
few times in my life as daunting as bringing my first son back from the hospital.

Emotions are important. But within seconds of the birth of your trooper you will
know how you feel. I felt love, fear, confusion, frustration, and awe, and that was
within the first hour. This book is intended to help you know what to do.
As a basic training manual, Commando Dad can take you only so far, though. The
rest is up to you. To be an effective dad you need to supplement this manual with
a lot of practical experience. You need to step up, get out there, and do it. This
brings me to the first rule of being a Commando Dad:

All the parenting books and classes were geared toward the birth, and then
suddenly you and your partner find yourselves back at home with the baby. In
charge.

A COMMANDO DAD IS A HANDS-ON DAD

I found myself thinking how much easier life would be if I had been issued
a basic training manual for my little baby trooper (henceforth referred to as BT ),
like the manual you get when you join the army. Any soldier will tell you that one
of the greatest weapons in their armory is Basic Battle Skills: a How To training
manual handed to them on day one as a soldier. It covers everything from how
to shave to how to accurately estimate the distance to a target, and provides the
foundation to all the practical skills needed to become a first-rate soldier.

It wont feel like it now, but you have an unbelievably short time with your troopers.
There arent even 2,000 days between birth and age five, when your trooper
starts school. In less than 7,000 days from the day theyre born, your trooper will
be eighteen.

I did try to find such a manual, but the books available for new dads were either
novelty books (and believe me, gentlemen, if your parenting is a laugh a minute,
youre doing it wrong) or, even worse, books that were too wordy to be practical.
At 0-silly-hundred-hours, with a screaming BT in your arms, 700 pages of someone
telling you about their emotions isnt the answer.
I decided that what I needed was an accessible basic training manual for parents
and, more specifically, dads.
Gentlemen, in your hands you are holding that manual.

14

You may not be the full-time caregiver for your trooper, you may see them only
on weekends or in the evenings, you may not be their biological dad, but none of
that matters. What matters is that you make the time you spend together really
count. And the best way to do that is to apply military precision to your parenting.

A COMMANDO DAD KNOWS THAT

PREPARATION AND PLANNING PREVENT
POOR PARENTAL PERFORMANCE

15

COMMANDO DAD
Take pride in your unit. Reduce unnecessary stress and worry by gaining confidence
in your own skills. Be prepared. Act in a way befitting your Commando Dad status.
You may not find it easybut then nothing worth doing is ever easy.
To a child, a dad has many roles, often falling somewhere between Hero, Role
Model, and Protector. You are now stepping into those shoes. You owe it to
yourselfand your troopersto be the best dad that you can be. Right now. Let
training commence.

INTRODUCTION

By far the most important terms are:

BT: baby trooper. A trooper (child) before it is mobile.
MT: mobile trooper. A trooper that can shuffle, crawl, stand up, and,
eventually, walk.
When I refer to troopers I use it in the generic sense of children.
I also use Common Sense icons as well as diagrams throughout Commando
Dad. This is designed to make the book as accessible (and less wordy) as possible.

HOW TO USE COMMANDO DAD

Commando Dad is designed to be used by dads in the field (i.e., while you are
actively engaged in parenting maneuvers), so I have taken a lot of care to pack
essential information into a book that will comfortably fit into your kitbag.
There is a fully interactive website that provides essential backup support to
Commando Dad: www.commandodad.com. Throughout the book you will be
directed there to find out more information on everything from the different
types of diapers available to where to find extra resources on nutrition and
getting your BT to sleep. It features short, practical how to videos on essential
skills such as holding, bathing, and burping your BT. And the all-important How
to change a diaper video, too, of course. The site also contains a wealth of other
resources that new recruits to fatherhood will find useful. Please log on now to
find out whats available, and to join a forum so that you can start sharing your
thoughts with me and other Commando Dads.
Throughout Commando Dad I use military terminology, and also terms that I
have invented in my years as a Commando Dad. I include a glossary at the end of
the book to explain specific terms used. The first time these terms appear in the
text, they are italicized.

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17

Chapter 1

The Advance
Party:
Preparing Base Camp

THE BR IEF
Your life is about to change beyond all recognition. Do as much
preparation beforehand as possible to save yourself precious time and
energy: both will be in short supply in the months to come.

OBJECTIVE
By the end of todays briefing, you will have a greater understanding of:
How to prepare base camp for your BT.
Essentials you need when bringing your BT from the hospital to
base camp.

COMMANDO DAD

THE ADVANCE PARTY: PREPARING BASE CAMP

Do:

A COMMANDO DAD KNOWS THAT

PREPARATION AND PLANNING PREVENT
POOR PARENTAL PERFORMANCE

Wipe down walls.

Clean carpets and rugs.
Dust and polish.

HOW TO PREPARE BASE CAMP FOR YOUR BT

Dont:
Paint the room the BT will be
sleeping in shortly before they
come back to base camp. The
fumes could be harmful.
Use harsh chemicals.

Clean surfaces that your BT will come into contact with, including:

Around six weeks before your BT is due, start to prepare the base camp. You will
need to:
Clean.

Nursery furniture.
Changing tables.
Baby bath.

Plan.

Always keep your hands clean. Keep nails short and dirt-free.

Prepare.

PLAN

Assign specific areas for your BT and their equipment.

Outfit your base camp now with the following essentials:

CLEAN
The aim is to thoroughly cleannot sterilizeyour BTs environment. It is
impossible to eliminate germs completely; you are not running
N
COMMO
a field hospital. Even if it were possible to create a germ-free
environment (it isnt), it would be unsustainable. Use your common
sense. Cleaning and tidying as you go along needs to become your
new standard operating procedure (SOP ).

SENSE

Clean your BTs room

Your BT should not sleep in their own room for one year after birth. Nevertheless,
it is still advisable to do any deep cleaning before they arrive at base camp,
while you have the time to do it.

Changing
Diapers. If using disposable diapers, buy the newborn size and the next
size up. BTs grow quickly.
If using cloth diapers, get up to speed on the different types now. Dont
buy too many diapers until you know the weight of your BT. For more
information on the different types of diapers available, go to Resources at
www.commandodad.com.
Baby wipes or cotton pads.
Diaper-rash cream.
Changing mat.
Diaper sacks if desired. Useful, but not essential, for bomb disposal. Any
small plastic bag will serve as a good alternative if you are out of diaper
sacksideally, a biodegradable one.

20

21

COMMANDO DAD
Clothing

THE ADVANCE PARTY: PREPARING BASE CAMP

6 Onesies and 6 sleepers with snaps. These are practical, comfortable,

and easily accessible for changing diapers.

Sterilizing equipment of your choice. See Chapter 2New Recruits:

Surviving the First 24 Hours for more information on sterilization
equipment.

6 pairs of socks (beware, they will kick them off on a regular basis) for
when your BT isnt in a sleeper that has feet.

An insulated bottle carrier, if required: for times when you are out and about,
without access to a cookhouse, and need to give your BT a warm bottle.

3 pairs of scratch mittens to prevent your BT from scratching their own face.
3 cotton cardigans. Thin layers are better than very thick clothes.
3 cotton hats to keep your BT warm (a lot of heat escapes through
the head). If the weather is cold, you will need a soft, warm hat for
outdoor wear.
2 baby blankets, sometimes called receiving blankets. These are
smaller than crib blankets and are used for keeping your BT warm
throughout the day.
Feeding
If your partner is breastfeeding, a breast pump can be beneficial, as can
breast pads and nipple cream. Current recommendations are for exclusive
breastfeeding for up to six months.
If breastfeeding is not an option, bottle feeding is the alternative.
2 bottles. You will need more (8 is an ideal number to ensure you always
have clean bottles), but you need to know if your BT will like the bottle
you have chosen. Deciding which bottle and nipple to go for is a potential
minefield. Arm yourself with more information about whats available by
visiting the Resources section of www.commandodad.com.
Spare nipples. When you know the bottle your BT will take to, be sure to
buy spare nipples. Nipples that are torn or deteriorated will need to be
discarded.
2 bottlebrushes.

Bathing
Baby bath wash and shampoo, which will be used sparingly. Buy brands
that say gentle and claim they will not sting if they get in the eyes.
Soft washcloths and towels.
Foam bath-support if required.
Baby bath.
Sleeping
Moses basket or crib with a new, snug-fitting mattress. Gaps around the
mattress can be dangerous. Do not use secondhand mattresses, as they
may pose a health risk.
Room thermometer.
Baby monitors if you wish to use them.
Bedding
3 crib sheets that are either fitted (with elasticated corners) or can be
tucked in well.
4 thin, soft cotton blankets and 2 open-weave blankets. Layering blankets
will make it easier to regulate your BTs temperature.
First Aid
Digital thermometer. For the first three months, your BTs temperature
should be taken rectally. After that, you can take their temperature under
the arm. Ear thermometers are not always accurate.
Pediatric acetaminophen (suitable from three months old) and pediatric
ibuprofen (suitable from six months old). Check the label to ensure your BT

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COMMANDO DAD

THE ADVANCE PARTY: PREPARING BASE CAMP

meets the weight and age requirements. If your BT was premature, count
their age from their due date.
Baby syringe (for administering medicine).
These will supplement the first-aid kit, which will contain items such as antiseptic
cream, dressings, and bandages. See Chapter 8Call the Medic: Basic First Aid
and Unit Maintenance for more details.
Transport

Changing table, if required. I preferred to use a mobile changing station;

i.e., keeping my diaper-changing kit mobile and changing my BT/MT on an
available stable and safe surface (e.g., the floor or the middle of a bed).
See page 27 for details.

A COMMANDO DAD TAKES HIS

RESPONSIBILITIES SERIOUSLY

Research all transport choices before investing. See Chapter 10On Maneuvers:
Transporting Your Troopers for advice and tips.
Car seat that meets safety standards and fits safely and securely in your
car. Hand-me-down car seats from older troopers, friends, or relatives are
fine provided they have never been damaged (or been involved in a car
accident). Also check the manufacturers advice on the lifespan of the seat,
as some recommend not using it after a certain time frame. Do not buy a
secondhand car seat, or accept one from a relative or friend, unless you
can guarantee that it meets current safety standards. Never entrust your
troopers to an unsafe car seat. The consequences are simply too terrible
to contemplate.
Baby carrier.
Stroller. You wont need this right away.

COMMON

SENSE

Nursery Furniture
All furniture can be bought secondhand. If buying new furniture, order for delivery
at least a month before your BT is due.
Comfortable chair (for you to sit in to feed, play with, and comfort your BT).
Soft lighting (even if its just a small bedside lamp with a low-wattage
bulb). The big light used in the small hours can startle and stimulate
both of you.
Blackout blinds, or thick curtains.

24

COMMANDO DAD TOP TIP

Dont install stair gates too earlyunless you need them to
keep pets away from your BTas they will become another
obstacle in the first few weeks.

Pacifiers
Using pacifiers is a matter of choiceboth for you and your BT. My first-born
BT rejected the pacifier completely. BTs can be given a pacifier to comfort them
or to help them go to sleep, but try to avoid giving it to them all the time. This
will not only reduce its effectiveness as a sleep aid, but will also increase your
BTs reliance on it. Using a pacifier after breastfeeding is known to reduce the
risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). If you do choose to use a pacifier,
health-care professionals advise the use of orthodontic nipples, as they are
designed to cause the least damage to the growth of your BTs teeth. For more
information about pacifiers, see Resources on www.commandodad.com.

25

COMMANDO DAD
PREPARE
Assemble, assemble, assemble. Get to grips with nursery furniture and
new toys. Learn how to assembleand disassemblestrollers and
car seats.
Buy batteries and spare batteries. Night lights, bouncers, and toys will all
require batteries.
Cook and freeze. Start preparing extra-large meals now and freeze the
spare portions. Without time to prepare meals when your BT arrives, you
may find yourself relying on fast food, which can affect your energy levels
and mood. Dont do it. See Chapter 5Nutrition: An Army Marches on Its
Stomach for sensible options.
Compile a list of important numbers (your midwife, your nurse, your
doctor, etc.) and program them into your phone and/or write them on
a pad near your landline phone.
Make your base camp safe
Install/check batteries on smoke alarms.

THE ADVANCE PARTY: PREPARING BASE CAMP

Covers for unused plug sockets.

Protective edges for sharp corners on furniture, such as coffee tables.
Fire screens for working fireplaces or room heaters.
The most effective babyproofing in the world,
however, is your close supervision.
ASSIGN SPECIFIC AREAS FOR YOUR BT AND
THEIR EQUIPMENT

Assign a place in your room for your BT to sleep in. The American Academy
of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that BTs sleep in their parents room for
the first year. See Chapter 2New Recruits: Surviving the First 24 Hours
for more information on how to prepare a bed. Ensure you have made
your base camp safe and babyproof. In addition:

Block drafts from windows and doors. It is important to maintain a

constant temperature in the room where your BT sleeps. Use your room
thermometer to keep the temperature between 61 and 68F/16 and
20C. The ideal is 64F/18C.

Do not put the crib directly next to a heater or a radiator, or in direct

sunlight.

Install a fire extinguisher in the cookhouse.

Put all low-lying items out of reach.
Babyproof your base camp
Not strictly necessary before the BT comes back to base camp, but a base camp
recce is recommended now. If base camp is an obstacle course, rearrange it. In
the first few weeks you are going to be sleep-deprived and moving around a lot
at night.
Commando crawl around on your belly to see firsthand what needs to done. Buy
essential items now. These may include:

26

SENSE

You need to make room for your new BT:

Put anti-slip pads beneath rugs.

Tie up any dangling cords from windows and light switches.

COMMON

Assign a diaper-changing station. This will include all you need to change
your BT, from wipes to disposal bags. I preferred to make mine portable,
because my BT was. Ideally, you need to see all the contents so you know
when and what to replenish. Replenish often. I used a small bathroom
storage rack with wheels for my mobile changing station.
Assign a feeding station: In the room where your wife or partner is
most comfortable, create a feeding station. It can be as simple as a
comfortable chair, a supportive U-shaped cushion, somewhere safe
to put a drink, etc. It should include all the equipment she will need for

27

COMMANDO DAD

THE ADVANCE PARTY: PREPARING BASE CAMP

breastfeeding. If she is comfortable breastfeeding in different rooms,

make this a portable station.
Assign suitable places in your base camp to keep bulky but essential items,
from bags of diapers to car seats and strollers.

ESSENTIALS YOU NEED WHEN BRINGING YOUR BT

FROM THE HOSPITAL TO BASE CAMP
CLOTHES
Soft, breathable, and accessible clothes. This means cotton with no frills or
buttons. Keep their hands and feet covered, as their extremities get cold easily.
As a general rule, BTs require one more layer than adults do, unless the weather
is very hot.
Onesie.
Sleeper.
A hat.
Socks.
Scratch mittens.
If the weather is cold, pack a baby blanket (sometimes called a receiving
blanket) or two.
If its very cold, take a snowsuit, but you must be able to strap your
snowsuited BT into their car seat correctly and without causing discomfort.
CHANGING
Wipes.
Diapers.
TRANSPORT
A car seat that conforms to safety standards. See Chapter 10On
Maneuvers: Transporting Your Troopers for guidance on car seat safety.

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