Project: A DRAFT LAYOUT OF A BOOK ON FINDING THE RIGHT LIFE PARTNER

Book Title: THE CONCEPTUAL PROCESS OF TWO BECOMING ONE (Walking into Love)
(Genesis 2 : 18 – 25)

(EPC) EXPECTED
PERIOD OF
DOWN-HILL UP-HILL ACTIONS ILLUSTRATIVE PROCESS COMPLETION
OBJECTIVES

A Lifetime Until the

Stage 1: Cleave /
Merge
Level 8: Matrimonial

Relationship
 Inevitable Demise of either
the Husband or the Wife.

Exchange of sacred vows Oneness and Union of husband and wife

A physical, emotional, and
administered by an ordained
spiritual COVENANT of agape
Priest between a man and a
love and romantic love;
woman in the presence of
affection, protection, and
witnesses to mark the beginning
provision; faith, hope and
of their choice to form and
trust between a husband and
maintain the most sacred union
wife consummated by the
instituted by God – MARRIAGE. At
exchange of blood which is
this level, you have reached your
symbolized in the act of
ultimate objective to merge your
sexual intercourse.
life with another individual’s. You
are no more an independent
individual who freely makes
decisions and takes actions alone
based on your personal interest.
At this level of relationship, you
will have to learn to consider your
spouse as a stakeholder with
equal vested interest in your
decisions and actions. For this
level of relationship to serve its
purpose, you will have to develop
a mindset to cooperate,
negotiate, compromise, and
reach “MUTUALLY ENTHUSIASTIC”
agreements “with” your life-
partner. You think through issues
together, you make choices and
decisions together, and you take
actions according to mutually
agreed “shared respon-sibilities”.
 It is a place of “ONENESS” of
mind, voice, and deed. This is
where the two has become “ONE
FLESH”.

Stage 2: Engage / A realistic period for this

Betroth
An honest proposal for a
Level 7: Courtship

Relationship
 level of relationship should
not last longer than six
months in order to avoid
matrimonial relationship Medical and Legal Clearance of a man and a woman falling prey to premarital
made by a man and accepted A tentative mutual agreement betrothed to each other. sex temptations due to the
by a woman, both of whom and public declaration of intent closeness of the man and
are spiritually, physically, between a man and a woman to the woman. However, the
economically, intellectually, form a marital union. At this level, type and size of marriage
and emotionally attracted to, you have graduated into a full- ceremony often determine
and compatible with each blown romantic relationship but the time lapse of this level.
other. still devoid of any sexual activity.
Here, you are focused on
preparing for your marriage
ceremony.

This is the moment and

Stage 3: Share Level 6: Partnership place where the individuals
use their hearts and minds
Relationship  simultaneously
preparedness for Stage 2
in
A conscious decision and a Choose the one special person Level 7. Adequate time
deliberate choice by a person Emotional Attraction between a man and a woman who
who fits the definition of your period is expected to be
to express his/her deepest have established compatibility in their individual defined
expected life partner and with invested into Stage 3 Level
inner feelings for, to, or with, expectations.
whom you are emotionally drawn 6. This is the most crucial
another individual of the and attracted to from among level of all relationships
opposite sex based on one’s your group of companions to and should not be rushed
defined emotional maturity, become the focal point of your through to the next level.
temperamental compatibility, romantic love and affection. This At least, one year or more
and mutual trust. is the level of emotional will suffice to establish a
involvement with your partner; time-tested commitment.
and at this level, you will be
overwhelmed with ecstasy and
excitement for having found that
special individual who will
become the most important
person in your earthly life. And
again, be reminded that sexual
activity is out of bounds because
you are still at the platonic level
of relationship. Use the time at
this level to discuss issues of
common interest such as type
 and size of family to raise;
finance and investment plans;
property acquisition plans;
professional career development
plans; etc. Begin to grow
romantic love here.

Stage 4 Level 5 is a period

Stage 4: Assess Level 5: of using one’s head to
Companionship make a careful and
 objective analytical
A careful evaluation of each Relationship assessment of the
personalities as well as the
individual
cognitive
companion’s
ability, logical Select few individuals from  potential, personal vision,
among your Circle of Friends to and philosophy of life of
reasoning, pattern of
behavior, creative ability,
potential, personal vision,
become
Companions
your
who
Group
you
of
are
 each individual in your
Group of Companions. A
intellectually attracted to, and great deal of
goals, and other decision Intellectual Attraction among a Group of Companions
compatible with. Again, communication is needed
making and leader-ship
remember you are still at a at this level to collect
qualities in measurement with
platonic level of relationship. It is information for processing
one’s defined standards.
crucial also to avoid fantasizing and decision making. Use
with sexual tendencies with your head, not your heart
individuals in this group because to make a choice based on
it will cloud your analytical your defined standards. At
judgment. least six months of
effective communication
and information processing
should give you a positive
direction.

A decision period at Stage

Stage 5: Acquaint Level 4: Friendship 5 Level 4 in preparedness
for Stage 4 Level 5 usually
Relationship  does not take long.
Individuals who fit into
An open interaction with Build a Circle of Friends from socio-economic definitions
deliberately iden-tified among your Communities of are easily identified. If
individuals to determine People who meet your social followed through with a
commona-lity of interests. standards such as family life
values, morality, health,  concerted effort, this level
should produce a result
education, security; and also your within two to three
economic standards with regards Socio-Economic Attraction among a Circle of Friends months.
to work, finances, career,
investment and other vital socio-
economic security factors.
Remember this is a platonic
relationship and is completely
 devoid of any emotional or sexual
involvement.
A decision period at this
level is often
Stage 6: Socialize Level 3: Communal  instantaneous without
recourse to any analytical
judgment. Your eyes and
Relationship
 ears are spontaneously
attracted to individuals
A casual regular encounter Develop a Community of People who fit your frame of
with indivi-duals, families, and
interest groups based on
who meets your defined physical
characteristics such as height,
 reference. In extreme
cases, it takes just 10
visual and verbal body weight, ethnicity, race, hair minutes to develop a
characteristics. type, dress code, decency of
speech, etc. Remember, this is
 Communal Relationship
with a person, a family, or
just the first step toward finding an interest group based on
Physical Attraction among a Community of People
the one individual in Stage 7 what you see and hear.
Level 2. Observe the rule of
neutrality at this level of
relationship.

Don’t fix yourself in a time-

Stage 7: Define Level 2: Expected Life frame at this stage.
Defining future

A vivid envisionment and

description of characteristics
Partner (ELP)
Seek a person of the opposite sex
who has a shared interest in your
 expectation
added
takes
commitment
prayer and an intimate
closeness to God. The
an
to

of the one individual of the purpose of life, your values, and This is your DEFINED EXPECTED LIFE PARTNER. import of this stage is to
opposite sex who meshes your personality. receive revelatory
functionally into your purpose knowledge and
and philosophy of life. discernment from God in
Definition of Expected Life Partner: (Critical Factors to order for you to be able to
Consider in lieu to your own personal vision for the know your expected life
future). partner in your spirit
before you see him or her
with your eyes.

(1) Spiritual Belief and Relationship of your ELP

(2) Mental Attitude and Functionality of your

ELP

(3) Physical Attributes and Characteristics of

your ELP


 
Stage 8: Discover Level 1: Purpose of This is a continuous
process throughout your
Self   lifetime. God will initially
reveal your fundamental
The search for the unknown This is YOURSELF. The real you, ready to take purpose of life to you
and hidden truths, personality responsibility and live a fruitful and successful life. within months of
Questions you need to ask:
traits, and potentials of consistent prayer and
yourself. meditation, but after that,
you will continue to
discover your potential
(1) Who Am I?
and other natural abilities
which are linked to your
(2) Where Do I Come From?
purpose of life throughout
(3) Where Am I? your lifetime. Your life’s
purpose is pre-destined by
(4) Why Am I Here? God, but it is your choice
within your will-power to
(5) Where Am I Going? accept your God-given
destiny or craft your own
destiny. Note that your
God-given destiny comes
Level 1 is a place to first know with great potential which
about yourself and the quality of is an unlimited reservoir of
life you desire to pursue. You do abilities and gifts that you
this prayerfully, realistically, and can shape and reshape to
consistently. It is the level where suit your purpose.
you work closely with God. At this Remember that even after
level, you must be ready for you transi-tion into
CHANGES in behavior, character, eternity, your purpose
attitude, perception, and conti-nues to live after you
assertion that God will introduce only if you live it according
you to, some subtle and others to God’s design. It is
drastic. termed as, “Leaving a
Legacy Behind for the Next
Generation”.