Fire Starter

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FIRESTARTER 1980
In memory of Shirley Jackson, who never needed to raise her voice. The Haunting of Hill House The Lottery We Have Always Lived in the astle The Sundial.!ew "ork#Al$any % &'addy, I&m tired,& the little girl in the red (ants and the green $louse said fretfully. & an&t you sto()& &!ot yet, honey.& He was a $ig, $road*shouldered man in a worn and scuffed corduroy +acket and (lain $rown twill slacks. He and the little girl were holding hands and walking u( Third Avenue in !ew "ork ity, walking fast, almost running. He looked $ack over his shoulder and the green car was still there, crawling along slowly in the cur$side lane. &,lease, 'addy. ,lease.& He looked at her and saw how (ale her face was. There were dark circles under her eyes. He (icked her u( and sat her in the crook of his arm, $ut he didn&t know how long he could go on like that. He was tired, too, and harlie was no lightweight anymore. It was five*thirty in the afternoon and Third Avenue was clogged. They were crossing streets in the u((er Si-ties now, and these cross streets were $oth darker and less (o(ulated. . . . .ut that was what he was afraid of. They $um(ed into a lady (ushing a walker full of groceries. &Look where you&re goin, whyn&t ya)& she said, and was gone, swallowed in the hurrying crowds. His arm was getting tired, and he switched harlie to the other one. He snatched another look $ehind, and the green car was still there, still (acing them, a$out half a $lock $ehind. There were two men in the front seat and, he thought, a third in the $ack. What do I do now) He didn&t know the answer to that. He was tired and scared and it was hard to think. They had caught him at a $ad time, and the $astards (ro$a$ly knew it. What he wanted to do was +ust sit down on the dirty cur$ing and cry out his frustration and fear. .ut that was no answer. He was the grownu(. He would have to think for $oth of them. What do we do now) !o money. That was may$e the $iggest (ro$lem, after the fact of the men in green car. "ou couldn&t do anything with no money in !ew "ork. ,eo(le with no money disa((eared in !ew "ork/ they dro((ed into the sidewalks, never to $e seen again. He looked $ack over his shoulder, saw the green car was a little closer, and the sweat $egan to run down his $ack and his arms a little faster. If they knew as much as he sus(ected they did * if they knew how little of the (ush he actually had left * they might try to take him right here and now. !ever mind all the (eo(le, either. In !ew "ork, if it&s not ha((ening to you, you develo( this funny $lindness. Have they $een charting me) Andy wondered des(erately. If they have, they know, and it&s all over $ut the shouting. If they had, they knew the (attern. After Andy got some money, the strange things sto((ed ha((ening for a while. The things they were interested in. 0ee( walking. Sho, $oss. "assuh, $oss. Where) He had gone into the $ank at noon $ecause his radar had $een alerted * that funny hunch that they were getting close again. There was money in the $ank, and he and harlie could run on it if they had to. And wasn&t that funny) Andrew 1c2ee no longer.had an account at the Allied .ank of !ew "ork, not (ersonal checking, not $usiness checking, not savings. They had all disa((eared into thin air, and that was when he knew they really meant to $ring the hammer down this time. Had all of that really $een only five and a half hours ago) .ut may$e there was a tickle left. Just one little tickle. It had $een nearly a week since the last time * that (resuicidal man at onfidence Associates who had come to the regular Thursday night counseling session and then $egun to talk with an eerie calmness a$out how Hemingway had committed suicide. And on the way out, his arm casually around the (resuicidal man&s shoulders, Andy had given him a (ush. !ow, $itterly, he ho(ed it had $een worth it. .ecause it looked very much as if he and harlie were going to $e the ones to (ay. He almost ho(ed an echo * .ut no. He (ushed that away, horrified and disgusted with himself. That was nothing to wish on any$ody. 3ne little tickle/ he (rayed. That&s all, 2od, +ust one little tickle. 4nough to get me and harlie out of this +am. And oh 2od, how you&ll (ay . . . (lus the fact that you&ll $e dead for a month afterward, +ust like a radio with a $lown tu$e. 1ay$e si- weeks. 3r may$e really dead with your worthless $rains leaking out your ears. What would ha((en to harlie then) They were coming u( on Seventieth Street and the light was against them. Traffic was (ouring across and (edestrians were $uilding u( at the corner in a $ottleneck. And suddenly he knew this was where the men in the green car would take them. Alive if they could, of course, $ut if it looked like trou$le . . . well, they had (ro$a$ly $een $riefed on harlie, too. 1ay$e they don&t even want us alive anymore. 1ay$e they&ve decided +ust to maintain the status 5uo. What do you do with a faulty e5uation) 4rase it from the $oard.
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A knife in the $ack, a silenced (istol, 5uite (ossi$ly something more arcane * a dro( of rare (oison on the end of a needle. onvulsions at the corner of Third and Seventieth. 3fficer, this man a((ears to have suffered a heart attack. He would have to try for that tickle. There was +ust nothing else. They reached the waiting (edestrians at the corner. Across the way, '3!&T WAL0 held steady and seemingly eternal. He looked $ack. The green car had sto((ed. The cur$side doors o(ened and two men in $usiness suits got out. They were young and smooth*cheeked. They looked considera$ly fresher than Andy 1c2ee felt. He $egan el$owing his way through the clog of (edestrians, eyes searching frantically for a vacant ca$. &Hey, man * & &6or hrist& sake, fella7& &,lease, mister, you&re ste((ing on my dog * & &4-cuse me . . . e-cuse me . . .& Andy said des(erately. He searched for a ca$. There were none. At any other time the street would have $een stuffed with them. He could feel the men from the green car coming for them, wanting to lay hands on him and harlie, to take them with them 2od knew where, the Sho(, some damn (lace, or do something even worse * harlie laid her head on his shoulder and yawned. Andy saw a vacant ca$. &Ta-i7 Ta-i7& he yelled, flagging madly with his free hand...ehind him, the two man dro((ed all (retense and ran. The ta-i (ulled over. &Hold it7& one of the men yelled. &,olice7 ,olice7& A woman near the $ack of the crowd at the corner screamed, and then they all $egan to scatter. Andy o(ened the ca$&s $ack door and handed harlie in. He dived in after her. &La 2uardia, ste( on it,& he said. &Hold it, ca$$y. ,olice7& The ca$ driver turned his head toward the voice and Andy (ushed * very gently. A dagger of (ain was (lanted s5uarely in the center of Andy&s forehead and then 5uickly withdrawn, leaving a vague locus of (ain, like a morning headache * the kind you get from slee(ing on your neck. &They&re after that $lack guy in the checkered ca(, I think,& he said to the ca$$y. &8ight,& the driver said, and (ulled serenely away from the cur$. They moved down 4ast Seventieth. Andy looked $ack. The two men were standing alone at the cur$. The rest of the (edestrians wanted nothing to do with them. 3ne of the men took a walkie*talkie from his $elt and $egan to s(eak into it. Then they were gone. &That $lack $uy,& the driver said, &whadde do) 8o$ a li5uor store or somethin, you think)& &I don&t know,& Andy said, trying to think how to go on with this, how to get the most out of this ca$ driver for the least (ush. Had they got the ca$&s (late num$er) He would have to assume they had. .ut they wouldn&t want to go to the city or state co(s, and they would $e sur(rised and scram$ling, for a while at least. &They&re all a $unch of +unkies, the $lacks in this city,& the driver said. &'on&t tell me, I&ll tell you.& harlie was going to slee(. Andy took off his corduroy +acket, folded it, and sli((ed it under her head. He had $egun to feel a thin ho(e. If he could (lay this right, it might work. Lady Luck had sent him what Andy thought of 9with no (re+udice at all: as a (ushover. He was the sort that seemed the easiest to (ush, right down the line; he was white 93rientals were the toughest, for some reason:/ he was 5uite young 9old (eo(le were nearly im(ossi$le: and of medium intelligence 9$right (eo(le were the easiest (ushes, stu(id ones harder, and with the mentally retarded it was im(ossi$le:. &I&ve changed my mind,& Andy said. &Take us to Al$any, (lease.& &Where)& The driver stared at him in the rearview mirror. &1an, I can&t take a fare to Al$any, you out of your mind)& Andy (ulled his wallet, which contained a single dollar $ill. He thanked 2od that this was not one of those ca$s with a $ullet(roof (artition and no way to contact the driver e-ce(t through a money slot. 3(en contact always made it easier to (ush. He had $een una$le to figure out if that was a (sychological thing or not, and right now it was immaterial. &I&m going to give you a five*hundred*dollar $ill,& Andy said 5uietly, &to take me and my daughter to Al$any. 3kay)& &Jeee*sus, mister * & Andy stuck the $ill into the ca$$y&s hand, and as the ca$$y looked down at it, Andy (ushed . . . and (ushed hard. 6or a terri$le second he was afraid it wasn&t going to work,.that there was sim(ly nothing left, that he had scra(ed the $ottom of the $arrel when he had made the driver see the non e-istent $lack man in the checkered ca(. Then the feeling came * as always accom(anied $y that steel dagger of (ain. At the same moment, his stomach seemed to take on weight and his $owels locked in sick, gri(ing agony. He (ut an unsteady hand to his face and wondered if he was going to throw u( . . . or die. 6or that one moment he wanted to die, as he always did when he overused it * use it, don&t a$use it, the sign * off slogan of some long ago disc +ockey echoing sickly in his mind whatever &it& was. If at that very moment someone had sli((ed a gun into his hand * Then he looked sideways at harlie, harlie slee(ing, harlie trusting him to get them out of this mess as he had all the others, harlie confident he would $e there when she woke u(. "es, all the messes, e-ce(t it was all the same mess, the same fucking mess, and all they were doing was running again. .lack des(air (ressed $ehind his eyes.
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The feeling (assed . . . $ut not the headache. The headache would get worse and worse until it was a smashing weight, sending red (ain through his head and neck with every (ulse$eat. .right lights would make his eyes water hel(lessly and send darts of agony into the flesh +ust $ehind his eyes. His sinuses would close and he would have to $reathe through his mouth. 'rill $its in his tem(les. Small noises magnified, ordinary noises as loud as +ackhammers, loud noises insu((orta$le. The headache would worsen until it felt as if his head were $eing crushed inside an in5uisitor&s loveca(. Then it would even off at that level for si- hours, or eight, or, may$e ten. This time he didn&t know. He had never (ushed it so far when he was so close to drained. 6or whatever length of time he was in the gri( of the headache, he would $e ne-t to hel(less. harlie would have to take care of him. 2od knew she had done it $efore . . . $ut they had $een lucky. How many times could you $e lucky) &2ee, mister, I don&t know * & Which meant he thought it was law trou$le. &The deal only goes as long as you don&t mention it to my little girl,& Andy said. &The last two weeks She&s $een with me. Has to $e $ack with her mother tomorrow morning.& &<isitation rights,& the ca$$y said. &I know all a$out it.& &"ou see, I was su((osed to fly her u(.& &To Al$any) ,ro$a$ly 3=ark, am I right)& &8ight. !ow, the thing is, I&m scared to death of flying. I know how cra=y that sounds, $ut it&s true. >sually I drive her $ack u(, $ut this time my e- * wife started in on me, and . . . I don&t know.& In truth Andy didn&t. He had made u( the story on the s(ur of the moment and now it seemed to $e leaded straight down a $lind alley. 1ost of it was (ure e-haustion. &So I dro( you at the old Al$any air(ort, and as far as 1oms knows, you flew, right)& &Sure.& His head was thudding. &Also, as far as 1oms knows, you&re no (lucka*(lucka*(lucka, am I four*oh)& &"es.& ,lucka*(lucka*(lucka) What was that su((osed to mean) The (ain was getting $ad. &6ive hundred $ucks to ski( a (lane ride,& the driver mused. &It&s worth it to me,& Andy said, and gave one last little shove. In a very 5uiet voice, s(eaking almost into the ca$$y&s ear, he added, &And it ought to $e worth it to you.& &Listen,& the driver said in a dreamy voice. &I ain&t turning down no five hundred dollars..'on&t tell me, I&ll tell you.& &3kay,& Andy said, and settled $ack. The ca$ driver was satisfied. He wasn&t wondering a$out Andy&s half * $aked story. He wasn&t wondering what a seven * year old girl was doing visiting her father for two weeks in 3cto$er with school in. He wasn&t wondering a$out the fact that neither of them had so much as an overnight $ag. He wasn&t worried a$out anything. He had $een (ushed. !ow Andy would go ahead * and (ay the (rice. He (ut a hand on harlie&s leg. She was fast aslee(. They had $een on the go all afternoon * ever since Andy got to her school and (ulled her out of her second grade class with some half*remem$ered e-cuse . . . grandmother&s very ill . . . called home . . . sorry to have to take her in the middle of the day. And $eneath all that a great, swelling relief. How he had dreaded looking into 1rs. 1ishkin&s room and seeing harlie&s seat em(ty, her $ooks stacked neatly inside her desk. !o, 1r. 1c2ee . . . she went with your friends a$out two hours ago . . . they had a note from you . . . wasn&t that all right) 1emories of <icky coming $ack, the sudden terror of the em(ty house that day. His cra=y chase after harlie. .ecause they had had her once $efore, oh yes. .ut harlie had $een there. How close had it $een) Had he $eaten them $y half an hour) 6ifteen minutes) Less) He didn&t like to think a$out it. He had got them a late lunch at !athan&s and they had s(ent the rest of the afternoon +ust going * Andy could admit to himself now that he had $een in a state of $lind (anic * riding su$ways, $uses, $ut mostly +ust walking. And now she was worn out. He s(ared her a long, loving look. Her hair was shoulder length, (erfect $lond, and in her slee( she had a calm $eauty. She looked so much like <icky hat it hurt. He closed his own eyes. In the front seat, the ca$ driver looked wonderingly at the five*hundred*dollar $ill the guy had handed him. He tucked it away in the s(ecial $elt (ocket where he ke(t all of his ti(s. He didn&t think it was strange that this fellow in the $ack had $een walking around !ew "ork with a little girl and a five*hundred*dollar $ill in his (ocket. He didn&t wonder how he was going to s5uare this with his dis(atcher. All he thought of was how e-cited his girlfriend, 2lyn, was going to $e. 2lynis ke(t tell telling him that driving a ta-i was a dismal, une-citing +o$. Well, wait until she saw his dismal, une-citing five*hundred* dollar $ill. In the $ack seat, Andy sat with his head $ack and his eyes closed. The headache was coming, coming, as ine-ora$le as a riderless $lack horse in a funeral cortege. He could hear the hoof $eats of that horse in his tem(les; thud . . . thud . . . thud. 3n the run. He and harlie. He was thirty*four years old and until last year he had $een an instructor of 4nglish at Harrison State ollege in 3hio. Harrison was a slee(y little college town. 2ood old Harrison, the very heart of mid*America. 2ood old Andrew 1c2ee, fine, u(standing young man. 8emem$er the riddle) Why is a farmer the (illar of his community) .ecause he&s always outstanding in his field. Thud, thud thud riderless $lack horse with red eyes coming down the halls of his mind, ironshod hooves digging u( soft gray clods of $rain tissue, leaving hoof(rints to fill u( with mystic crescents of $lood. The ca$$y had $een a (ushover. Sure. An outstanding ca$ driver. He do=ed and saw harlie&s face. And harlie&s face $ecame <icky&s face. Andy 1c2ee and his wife, (retty <icky. They had (ulled her fingernails out, one $y.one. They had (ulled out four of them and then she had talked. That, at least, was his
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deduction. Thum$, inde-, second, ring. Then; Sto(. I&ll talk. I&ll tell you anything you want to know. Just sto( the hurting. ,lease. So she had told. And then . . . (erha(s it had $een an accident . . . then his wife had died. Well, some things are $igger than $oth of us, and other things are $igger than all of us. Things like the Sho(, for instance. Thud, thud thud riderless $lack horse coming on, coming on, and coming on; $ehold, a $lack horse. Andy sle(t. And remem$ered. ? The man in charge of the e-(eriment was 'r. Wanless. He was fat and $alding and had at least one rather $i=arre ha$it. &We&re going to give each of you twelve young ladies and gentlemen an in+ection,& he said, shredding a cigarette into the ashtray in front of him. His small (ink fingers (lucked at the thin cigarette (a(er, s(illing out neat little cones of golden*$rown to$acco. &Si- of these in+ections will $e water. Si- of them will $e water mi-ed with a tiny amount of a chemical com(ound which we call Lot Si-. The e-act nature of this com(ound is classified, $ut it is essentially an hy(notic and mild hallucinogenic. Thus you understand that the com(ound will $e administered $y the dou$le*$lind method . . . which is to say, neither you nor we will know who has gotten a clear dose and who has not until later. The do=en of you will $e under close su(ervision for forty*eight hours following the in+ection. @uestions)& There were several, most having to do with the e-act com(osition of Lot Si- * that word classified was like (utting $loodhounds on a convict&s trail. Wanless sli((ed these 5uestions 5uite adroitly. !o one had asked the 5uestion twenty*two*year*old Andy 1c2ee was most interested in. He considered raising his hand in the hiatus that fell u(on the nearly deserted lecture hall in Harrison&s com$ined ,sychology#Sociology $uilding and asking, Say, why are you ri((ing u( (erfectly good cigarettes like that) .etter not to. .etter to let the imagination run on a free rein while this $oredom went on. He was trying to give u( smoking. The oral retentive smokes them/ the anal retentive shreds them. 9This $rought a slight grin to Andy&s li(s, which he covered with a hand.: Wanless&s $rother had died of lung cancer and the doctor was sym$olically venting his aggressions on the cigarette industry. 3r may$e it was +ust one of those flam$oyant tics that college (rofessors felt com(elled to flaunt rather than su((ress. Andy had one 4nglish teacher his so(homore year at Harrison 9the man was now mercifully retired: who sniffed his tie constantly while lecturing on William 'ean Howells and the rise of realism. &If there are no more 5uestions, I&ll ask you to fill out these forms and will e-(ect to see you (rom(tly at nine ne-t Tuesday.& Two grad assistants (assed out (hotoco(ies with twenty*five ridiculous 5uestions to answer yes or no. Have you ever undergone (sychiatric counselling) * !o.A. 'o you $elieve you have ever had an authentic (sychic e-(erience) * !o.%B. Have you ever used hallucinogenic drugs) * !o.%A. After a slight (ause, Andy checked &no& to that one,.thinking, In this $rave year %CDC, who hasn&t used them) He had $een (ut on to this $y @uincey Tremont, the fellow he had roomed with in college. @uincey knew that Andy&s financial situation wasn&t so hot. It was 1ay of Andy&s senior year/ he was graduating fortieth in a class of five hundred and si-, third in the 4nglish (rogram. .ut that didn&t $uy no (otatoes, as he had told @uincey, who was a (sych ma+or. Andy had a 2A lined u( for himself starting in the fall semester, along with a scholarhi( * loan (ackage that would $e +ust a$out enough to $uy groceries and kee( him in the Harrison grad (rogram. .ut all of that was fall, and in the meantime there was the summer hiatus. The $est he had $een a$le to line u( so far was a res(onsi$le, challenging (osition as an Arco gas +ockey on the night shift. &How would you feel a$out a 5uick two hundred)& @uincey had asked. Andy $rushed long, dark hair away from his green eyes and grinned. &Which men&s room do I set u( my concession in)& &!o, it&s a (sych e-(eriment,& @uincey said. &.eing run $y the 1ad 'octor, though. .e warned.& &Who he)& &Him Wanless, Tonto. Hea( $ig medicine man in * um ,sych 'e(artment.& &Why do they call him the 1ad 'octor)& &Well,& @uincey said, &he&s a rat man and a Skinner man $oth. A $ehaviorist. The $ehaviorists are not e-actly $eing overwhelmed with love these days.& &3h,& Andy said, mystified. &Also, he wears very thick little rimless glasses, which makes him look 5uite a $it like the guy that shrank the (eo(le in 'r. yclo(s. "ou ever see that show)& Andy, who was a late*show addict, had seen it, and felt on safer ground. .ut he wasn&t sure he wanted to (artici(ate in any e-(eriments run $y a (rof who was classified as a.: a rat man and $.: a 1ad 'octor. &They&re not trying to shrink (eo(le, are they)& he asked. @uincey had laughed heartily. &!o, that&s strictly for the s(ecial*effects (eo(le who work on the . horror (ictures,& he said. &The ,sych 'e(artment has $een testing a series of low*grade hallucinogens. They&re working with the >.S. Intelligence Service.& & IA)& Andy asked. &!ot IA, 'IA, or !SA,& @uincey said. &Lower (rofile than any of them. Have you ever heard of an outfit called the Sho()& &1ay$e in a Sunday su((lement or something. I&m not sure.& @uincey lit his (i(e. &These things work in a$out the same way all across the $oard,& he said. &,sychology, chemistry, (hysics, $iology . . . even the sociology $oys get some of the folding green. ertain (rograms are su$sidi=ed $y the government. Anything from the
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mating ritual of the tsetse fly to the (ossi$le dis(osal of used (lutonium slugs. An outfit like the Sho( has to s(end all of its yearly $udget to +ustify a like amount the following year.& &That shit trou$les me mightily,& Andy said. &It trou$les almost any thinking (erson,& @uincey said with a calm, untrou$led smile. &.ut the train +ust kee(s rolling. What does our intelligence $ranch want with low*grade halucinogens) Who knows) !ot me. !ot you. ,ro$a$ly they don&t either. .ut the re(orts look good in closed committees come $udget*renewal time. They have their (ets in every de(artment. At Harrison, Wanless is their (et in the ,sych 'e(artment&.&The administration doesn&t mind)& &'on&t $e naive, my $oy.& He had his (i(e going to his satisfaction and was (uffing great stinking clouds of smoke out into the ratty a(artment living room. His voice accordingly $ecame more rolling, more orotund, more .uckleyes5ue. &What&s good for Wanless is good for the Harrison ,sychology 'e(artment, which ne-t year will have its very own $uilding * no more slumming with those sociology ty(es. And what&s good for ,sych is good for Harrison State ollege. And for 3hio. And all that $lah*$lah.& &'o you think it&s safe)& &They don&t test it on student volunteers if it isn&t safe,& @uincey said. &If they have even the slightest 5uestion, they test it on rats and then on convicts. "ou can $e sure that what they&re (utting into you has $een (ut into roughly three hundred (eo(le $efore you, whose reactions have $een carefully monitored.& &I don&t like this $usiness a$out the IA * & &The Sho(.& &What&s the difference)& Andy asked morosely. He looked at @uincey&s (oster of 8ichard !i-on standing in front of a crunched * u( used car. !i-on was grinning, and a stu$$y < * for * victory (oked u( out of each clenched fist. Andy could still hardly $elieve the man had $een elected (resident less than a year ago. &Well, I thought may$e you could use the two hundred dollars, that&s all.& &Why are they (aying so much)& Andy asked sus(iciously. @uincey threw u( his hands. &Andy, it is the government&s treat7 an&t you follow that) Two years ago the Sho( (aid something like three hundred thousand dollars for a feasi$ility study on a mass*(roduced e-(loding $icycle * and that was in the Sunday Times. Just another <ietnam thing, I guess, although (ro$a$ly no$ody knows for sure. Like 6i$$er 1c2ee used to say, EIt seemed like a good idea at the time.F & @uincey knocked out his (i(e with 5uick, +ittery movements. &To guys like that, every college cam(us in America is like one $ig 1acy&s. They $uy a little here, do a little window*sho((ing there. !ow if you don&t want It & &Well, may$e I do. Are you going in on it)& @uincey had smiled. His father ran a chain of e-tremely successful menswear stores in 3hio and Indiana. &'on&t need two hundred that $ad,& he said. &.esides, I hate needles.& &3h.& &Look, I&m not trying to sell it, for hrissakes/ you +ust looked sort of hungry. The chances are fifty*fifty you&ll $e in the control grou(, anyway. Two hundred $ucks for taking on water. !ot even ta(water, mind you. 'istilled water.& &"ou can fi- it)& &I date one of Wanless&s grad assistants,& @uincey said. &They&ll have may$e fifty a((licants, many of them $rownnosers who want to make (oints with the 1ad 'octor * & &I wish you&d sto( calling him that.& &Wanless, then,& @uincey said, and laughed. &He&ll see that the a((le (olishers are weeded out ,ersonally. 1y girl will see that your a((licant goes to his Ein& $asket. After that, dear man, you are on your own.& So he had made out the a((lication when the notice for volunteers went u( on the ,sych 'e(artment $ulletin $oard. A week after turning it in, a young female 2A.9@uincey&s girlfriend, for all Andy knew: had called on the (hone to ask him some 5uestions. He told her that his (arents were dead/ that his $lood ty(e was 3/ that he had never (artici(ated in a ,sychology 'e(artment e-(eriment $efore/ that he was indeed currently enrolled in Harrison as an undergraduate, class of &DC, in fact, and carrying more than the twelve credits needed to classify him as a full * time student. And yes, he was (ast the age of twenty*one and legally a$le to enter into any and all covenants, (u$lic and (rivate. A week later he had received a letter via cam(us mail telling him he had $een acce(ted and asking for his signature on a release form. ,lease $ring the signed form to 8oom %GG, Jason 2earneigh Hall, on 1ay the Dth. And here he was, release form (assed in, the cigarette*shredding Wanless de(arted 9and he did indeed look a $it like the mad doctor in that yclo(s movie:, answering 5uestions a$out his religious e-(eriences along with eleven other undergrads. 'id he have e(ile(sy) !o. His father had died suddenly of a heart attack when Andy was eleven. His mother had $een killed in a car accident when Andy was seventeen * a nasty, traumatic thing. His only close family connection was his mother&s sister, Aunt ora, and she was getting well along in years. He went down the column of 5uestions, checking no, no, no. He checked only one "4S 5uestion; Have you ever suffered a fracture or serious s(rain) If yes, s(ecify. In the s(ace (rovided, he scri$$led the fact that he had $roken his left ankle sliding into second $ase during a Little League game twelve years ago. He went $ack over his answers, trailing lightly u(ward with the ti( of his .ic. That was when someone ta((ed him on the shoulder and a girl&s voice, sweet and slightly husky, asked, & ould I $orrow that if you&re done with it) 1ine went dry.& &Sure,& he said, turning to hand it to her. ,retty girl. Tall. Light*au$urn hair,
6
marvelously clear com(le-ion. Wearing a (owder*$lue sweater and a short skirt. 2ood legs. !o stockings. asual a((raisal of the future wife. He handed her his (en and she smiled her thanks. The overhead lights made co((er glints in her hair, which had $een casually tied $ack with a wide white ri$$on, as she $ent over her form again. He took his form u( to the 2A at the front of the room. &Thank you,& the 2A said, as (rogrammed as 8o$$ie the 8o$ot. &8oom Seventy, Saturday morning, nine A.1. ,lease $e on time.& &What&s the countersign)& Andy whis(ered hoarsely. The grad assistant laughed (olitely. Andy left the lecture hall, started across the lo$$y toward the $ig dou$le doors 9outside, the 5uad was green with a((roaching summer, students (assing desultorily $ack and forth:, and then remem$ered his (en. He almost let it go/ it was only a nineteen cent .ic, and he still had his final round of (relims to study for. .ut the girl had $een (retty, may$e worth chatting u(, as the .ritish said. He had no illusions a$out his looks or his line, which were $oth (retty nondescri(t, or a$out the girl&s (ro$a$le status 9(inned or engaged:, $ut it was a nice day and he was feeling good. He decided to wait. At the very least, he would get another look at those legs. She came out three or four minutes later, a few note$ooks and a te-t under her arm. She was very (retty indeed, and Andy decided her legs had $een worth waiting for. They were more than good/ they were s(ectacular..&3h, there you are,& she said, smiling. &Here I am,& said Andy 1c2ee. &What did you think of that)& &I don&t know,& she said. &1y friend said these e-(eriments go on all the time * she was in one last semester with those J. .. 8hine 4S, cards and got fifty dollars for it even though she missed almost all of them. So I +ust thought * & She finished the thought with a shrug and fli((ed her co((ery hair neatly $ack over her shoulders. &"eah, me too,& he said, taking his (en $ack. &"our friend in the ,sych 'e(artment)& &"es,& she said, &and my $oyfriend, too. He&s in one of 'r. Wanless&s classes, so he couldn&t get in. onflict of interest or something.& .oyfriend. It stood to reason that a tall, au$urn haired $eauty like this had one. That was the way the world turned. &What a$out you)& she asked. &Same story. 6riend in the ,sych 'e(artment. I&m Andy, $y the way. Andy 1c2ee.& &I&m <icky Tomlinson. And a little nervous a$out this, Andy 1c2ee. What if I go on a $ad tri( or something)& &This sounds like (retty mild stuff to me. And even if it is acid, well . . . la$ acid is different from the stuff you can (ick u( on the street, or so I&ve heard. <ery smooth, very mellow, and administered under very calm circumstances. They&ll (ro$a$ly (i(e in ream or Jefferson Air(lane.& Andy grinned. &'o you know much a$out LS')& she asked with a little cornerwise grin that he liked very much. &<ery little,& he admitted. &I tried it twice * once two years ago, once last year. In some ways it made me feel $etter. It cleaned out my head . . . at least, that&s what it felt like. Afterward, a lot of the old crud +ust seemed to $e gone. .ut I wouldn&t want to make a steady ha$it of it. I don&t like feeling so out of control of myself. an I $uy you a oke)& &All right,& she agreed, and they walked over to the >nion $uilding together. He ended u( $uying her two okes, and they s(ent the afternoon together. That evening they had a few $eers at the local hangout. It turned out that she and the $oyfriend had come to a (arting of the ways, and she wasn&t sure e-actly how to handle it. He was $eginning to think they were married, she told Andy/ had a$solutely for$idden her to take (art in the Wanless e-(eriment. 6or that (recise reason she had gone ahead and signed the release form and was now determined to go through with it even though she was a little scared. &That Wanless really does look like a mad doctor,& she said, making rings on the ta$le with her $eer glass. &How did you like that trick with the cigarettes)& <icky giggled. &Weird way to 5uit smoking, huh)& He asked her if he could (ick her u( on the morning of the e-(eriment, and she had agreed gratefully. &It would $e good to go into this with a friend,& she said, and looked at him with her direct $lue eyes. &I really am a little scared, you know. 2eorge was so * I don&t know, adamant.& &Why) What did he say)& &That&s +ust it,& <icky said. &He wouldn&t tell me anything, e-ce(t that he didn&t trust Wanless. He said hardly anyone in the de(artment does, $ut a lot of them sign u( for his tests $ecause he&s in charge of the graduate (rogram. .esides, they know it&s safe, $ecause.he +ust weeds them out again.& He reached across the ta$le and touched her hand. &We&ll $oth (ro$a$ly get the distilled water, anyway,& he said. &Take it easy, kiddo. 4verything&s fine.& .ut as it turned out, nothing was fine. !othing. H Al$any al$any air(ort mister hey mister, this is it we&re here. Hand, shaking him. 1aking his head roll on his neck. Terri$le headache * Jesus7 Thudding, shooting (ains. &Hey mister, this is the air(ort.& Andy o(ened his eyes, then shut them against the white light of an overhead sodium lam(. There was a terri$le, shrieking whine, $uilding u( and u( and u(, and he winced
7
against it. It felt as if steel darning needles were $eing +ammed into his ears. ,lane. Taking off; It $egan to come to him through the red fog of (ain. Ah yes, 'oc, it all comes $ack to me now. &1ister)& The ca$$y sounded worried. &1ister, you okay)& &Headache.& His voice seemed to come from far away, $uried in the +et * engine sound that was, mercifully, $eginning to fade off. &What time is it)& &!early midnight. Slow haul getting u( here. 'on&t tell me, I&ll tell you. .uses won&t $e running, if that was your (lan. Sure I can&t take you home)& Andy gro(ed in his mind for the story he had told the ca$$y. It was im(ortant that he remem$er, monster headache or not. .ecause of the echo. If he contradicted the earlier story in any way, it could set u( a ricochet effect in the ca$$y&s mind. It might die out * in fact, (ro$a$ly would * $ut it might not. The ca$$y might sei=e on one (oint of it, develo( a fi-ation on it/ shortly it would $e out of control, it would $e all the ca$$y could think a$out/ shortly after that, it would sim(ly tear his mind a(art. It had ha((ened $efore. &1y car&s in the lot,& he said. &4verything is under control.& &3h.& The ca$$y smiled, relieved. &2lyn isn&t gonna $elieve this, you know. Hey7 'on&t tell me, I&ll t * & &Sure she&ll $elieve it. "ou do, don&t you)& The driver grinned widely. &I got the $ig $ill to (rove it, mister. Thanks.& &Thank you,& Andy said. Struggle to $e (olite. Struggle to go on. 6or harlie. If he had $een alone, he would have killed himself long ago. A man wasn&t meant to $ear (ain like this. &"ou sure you&re okay, mister) "ou look awful white.& &I&m fine, thanks.& He $egan to shake harlie. &Hey, kid.& He was careful not to use her name. It (ro$a$ly didn&t matter, $ut the caution came as naturally as $reathing. &Wake u(, we&re here.& harlie muttered and tried to roll away from him. & ome on, doll. Wake u(, hon.& harlie&s eyes fluttered o(en * the direct $lue eyes she had got from her mother *.and she sat u(, ru$$ing her face. &'addy) Where are we)& &Al$any, hon. The air(ort.& And leaning closer, he muttered, &'on&t say anything yet.& & 3kay.& She smiled at the ca$ driver, and the ca$$y smiled $ack. She sli((ed out of the ca$ and Andy followed her, trying not to stagger. &Thanks again, man,& the ca$$y said. &Listen, hey. 2reat fare. 'on&t tell me, I&ll tell you.& Andy shook the outstretched hand. &Take care.& &I will. 2lyn&s +ust not gonna $elieve this action.& The ca$$y got $ack in and (ulled away from the yellow*(ainted cur$. Another +et was taking of, the engine revving and revving until Andy felt as though his head would s(lit in two (ieces and fall to the (avement like a hollow gourd. He staggered a little, and harlie (ut her hands on his arm. &3h, 'addy,& she said, and her voice was far away. &Inside. I have to sit down.& They went in, the little girl in the red (ants and the green $louse, the $ig man with the shaggy $lack hair and the slum(ed shoulders. A skyca( watched them go and thought it was a (ure sin, a $ig man like that out after midnight, drunk as a lord $y the look of him, with his little girl who should have $een in $ed hours ago leading him around like a Seeing 4ye dog. ,arents like that ought to $e sterili=ed, the skyca( thought. Then they went in through the electric*eye*controlled doors and the skyca( forgot all a$out them until some forty minutes later, when the green car (ulled u(. to the cur$ and the two men got out to talk to him. B It was ten (ast midnight. The lo$$y of the terminal had $een given over to the early*morning (eo(le; servicemen at the end of their leaves, harried*looking women riding herd on scratchy, u(*too*late children, $usinessmen with (ouches of weariness under their eyes, cruising kids in $ig $oots and long hair, some of them with (acks on their $acks, a cou(le with cased tennis rackets. The louds(eaker system announced arrivals and de(artures and (aged (eo(le like some omni(otent voice in a dream. Andy and harlie sat side $y side at desks with T<s $olted to them. The T<s were scratched and dented and (ainted dead $lack. To Andy they looked like sinister, futuristic co$ras. He (lugged his last two 5uarters into them so they wouldn&t $e asked to leave the seats. harlie&s was showing a rerun of The 8ookies and Johnny arson was yucking it u( with Sonny .ono and .uddy Hackett on Andy&s. &'addy, do I have to)& harlie asked for a second time. She was on the verge of tears. &Honey, I&m used u(,& he said. &We have no money. We can&t stay here.& &Those $ad men are coming)& she asked, and her voice dro((ed to a whis(er. &I don&t know.& Thud, thud, thud in his $rain. !ot a riderless $lack horse anymore/ now it was mailsacks filled with shar( scra(s of iron $eing dro((ed on him from a fifth*story window. &We have to assume they are.& &How could I get money)& He hesitated and then said, &"ou know.& The tears $egan to come and trickled down her cheeks. &It&s not right. It&s not right to steal.&.&I know it,& he said. &.ut it&s not right for them to kee( coming at us, either. I e-(lained it to you, harlie. 3r at least I tried.& &A$out little $ad and $ig $ad)& &"es. Lesser and greater evil.& &'oes your head really hurt)& &It&s (retty $ad,& Andy said. There was no use telling her that in an hour, or (ossi$ly two, it would $e so $ad he would no longer $e a$le to think coherently. !o use
8
frightening her worse than she already was. !o use telling her that he didn&t think they were going to get away this time. &I&ll try,& she said, and got out of the chair. &,oor 'addy,& she said, and kissed him. He closed his eyes. The T< (layed on in front of, him, a faraway $a$$le of sound in the midst of the steadily growing ache in his head. When he o(ened his eyes again, she was +ust a distant figure, very small, dressed in red and green, like a hristmas ornament, $o$$ing away through the scattered (eo(le on the concourse. ,lease 2od, let her $e all right, he thought. 'on&t let anyone mess with her, or scare her worse than she is already. ,lease and thank you, 2od 3kay) He closed his eyes again. I Little girl in red stretch (ants and a green rayon $louse. Shoulder*length $lond hair. >( too late, a((arently $y herself. She was in one of the few (laces where a little girl $y herself could go unremarked after midnight. She (assed (eo(le, $ut no one really saw her. If she had $een crying, a security guard might have come over to ask her if she was lost, if she knew which airline her mommy and daddy were ticketed on, what their names were so they could $e (aged. .ut she wasn&t crying, and she looked as if she knew where she was going. She didn&t e-actly * $ut she had a (retty fair idea of what she was looking for. They needed money/ that was what 'addy had said. The $ad men were coming, and 'addy was hurt. When he got hurt like this, it got hard for him to think. He had to lie down and have as much 5uiet as he could. He had to slee( until the (ain went away. And the $ad men might $e coming . . . the men from the Sho(, the men who wanted to (ick them a(art and see what made them work * and to see if they could $e used, made to do things. She saw a (a(er sho((ing $ag sticking out of the to( of a trash $asket and took it. A little way farther down the concourse she came to what she was looking for; a $ank of (ay (hones. harlie stood looking at them, and she was afraid. She was afraid $ecause 'addy had told her again and again that she shouldn&t do it . . . since earliest childhood it had $een the .ad Thing. She couldn&t always control the .ad Thing. She might hurt herself, or someone else, or lots of (eo(le. The time 9oh mommy i&m sorry the hurt the $andages the screams she screamed i made my mommy scream and i never will again . . . never . . . $ecause it is a .ad Thing: in the kitchen when she was little . . . $ut it hurt too much to think of that. It was a .ad Thing $ecause when you let it go, it went . . . everywhere. And that was scary. There were other things. The (ush, for instance/ that&s what 'addy called it, the (ush..3nly she could (ush a lot harder than 'addy, and she never got headaches afterward. .ut sometimes, afterward . . . there were fires. The word for the .ad Thing clanged in her mind as she stood nervously looking at the tele(hone $ooths; (yrokinesis &!ever mind that,& 'addy had told her when they were still in ,ort ity and thinking like fools that they were safe. &"ou&re a firestarter, honey. Just one great $ig Ji((o lighter.& And then it had seemed funny, she had giggled, $ut now it didn&t seem funny at all. The other reason she wasn&t su((osed to (ush was $ecause they might find out. The $ad men from the Sho(. &I don&t know how much they know a$out you now,& 'addy had told her, &$ut I don&t want them to find out anymore. "our (ush isn&t e-actly like mine, honey. "ou can&t make (eo(le . . . well, change their minds, can you)& &!o*ooo . . .& &.ut you can make things move. And if they ever $egan to see a (attern, and connect that (attern with you, we&d $e in even worse trou$le than we are now.& And it was stealing, and stealing was also a .ad Thing. !ever mind. 'addy&s head was hurting him and they had to get to a 5uiet, warm (lace $efore it got too $ad for him to think at all. harlie moved forward. There were a$out fifteen (hone$ooths in all, with circular sliding doors. When you were inside the $ooth, it was like $eing inside a great $ig ontac ca(sule with a (hone inside it. 1ost of the $ooths were dark, harlie saw as she drifted down (ast them. There was a fat lady in a (antsuit crammed into one of them, talking $usily and smiling. And three $ooths from the end a young man in a service uniform was sitting on the little stool with the door o(en and his legs (oking out. He was talking fast. &Sally, look, I understand how you feel, $ut I can e-(lain everything. A$solutely. I know . . . I know . . . $ut if you&ll +ust let me * & He looked u(, saw the little girl looking at him, and yanked his legs in and (ulled the circular door closed, all in one motion, like a turtle (ulling into its shell. Having a fight with his girlfriend, harlie thought. ,ro$a$ly stood her u(. I&d never let a guy stand me u(. 4choing louds(eaker. 8at of fear in the $ack of her mind, gnawing. All the faces were strange faces. She felt lonely and very small, grief * sick over her mother even now. This was stealing, $ut what did it matter) They had stolen her mother&s life. She sli((ed into the (hone$ooth on the end, sho((ing $ag crackling. She took the (hone off the hook and (retended she was talking * hello, 2ram(a, yes, 'addy and I +ust got in, we&re fine * and looked out through the glass to see if anyone was $eing nosy. !o one was. The only (erson near$y was a $lack woman getting flight insurance from a machine, and her $ack was to harlie. harlie looked at the (ay (hone and suddenly shoved it. A little grunt of effort esca(ed her, and she $it down on her lower li(, liking the way it s5uee=ed under her teeth. !o, there was no (ain involved. It felt good to shove things, and that was another thing that scared her. Su((ose she got to like this dangerous thing) She shoved the (ay (hone again, very lightly, and suddenly a tide of silver (oured out of the coin return. She tried to get her $ag under it, $ut $y the time she did, most of the
9
5uarters and nickels and dimes had s(ewed onto the floor. She $ent over and swe(t as much as she could into the $ag, glancing again and again out the window. With the change (icked u(, she went on to the ne-t $ooth. The serviceman was still.talking on the ne-t (hone u( the line. He had o(ened the door again and was smoking. &Sal, honest to hrist I did7 Just ask your $rother if you don&t $elieve me7 He&ll * & harlie sli((ed the door shut, cutting off& the slightly whining sound of his voice. She was only seven, $ut she knew a snow+o$ when she heard one. She looked at the (hone, and a moment later it gave u( its change. This time she had the $ag (ositioned (erfectly and the coins cascaded to the $ottom with a musical little +ingling sound. The serviceman was gone when she came out, and harlie went into his $ooth. The seat was still warm and the air smelled nastily of cigarette smoke in s(ite of the fan. The money rattled into her $ag and she went on. D 4ddie 'elgardo sat in a hard (lastic contour chair, looking & u( at the ceiling and smoking. .itch, he was thinking. She&ll think twice a$out kee(ing her goddam legs closed ne-t time. 4ddie this and 4ddie that and 4ddie I never want to see you again and 4ddie how could you $e so crew * ool. .ut he had changed her mind a$out the old I*never*want* to*see*you*again $it. He was on thirty*day leave and now he was going to !ew "ork ity, the .ig A((le, to see the sights and tour the singles $ars. And when he came $ack, Sally would $e like a $ig ri(e a((le herself, ri(e and ready to fall. !one of that don&t*you*have*any*res(ect*for*me stuff& went down with 4ddie 'elgardo of 1arathon, 6lorida. Sally .radford was going to (ut out, and if she really $elieved that cra( a$out him having had a vasectomy, it served her right. And then let her go running to her hick schoolteacher $rother if she wanted to. 4ddie 'elgardo would $e driving an army su((ly truck in West .erlin. He would $e * 4ddie&s half resentful, half (leasant chain of daydreams was $roken $y a strange feeling of warmth coming from his feet/ it was as if the floor had suddenly heated u( ten degrees. And accom(anying this was a strange $ut not com(letely unfamiliar smell . . . not something $urning $ut . . . something singeing, may$e) He o(ened his eyes and the first thing he saw was that little girl who had $een cruising around $y the (hone$ooths, little girl seven or eight years old, looking really ragged out. !ow she was carrying a $ig (a(er $ag, carrying it $y the $ottom as if it were full of groceries or something. .ut his feet, that was the thing. They were no longer warm. They were hot. 4ddie 'elgardo looked down and screamed, &2odamighty Jeesus7& His shoes were on fire. 4ddie lea(ed to his feet. Heads turned. Some woman saw what was ha((ening and yelled in alarm. Two security guards who had $een noodling with an Allegheny Airlines ticket clerk looked over to see what was going on. !one of what meant doodly*s5uat to 4ddie 'elgardo. Thoughts of Sally .radford and his revenge of love u(on her were the furthest things from his mind. His army*issue shoes were $urning merrily. The cuffs of his dress greens were catching. He was s(rinting across the concourse, trailing smoke, as if shot from a cata(ult. The women&s room was.closer, and 4ddie, whose sense of self (reservation was e-5uisitely defined, hit the door straight*arm and ran inside without a moment&s hesitation. A young woman was coming out of one of the stalls, her skirt rucked u( to her waist, ad+usting her >nderalls. She saw 4ddie, the human torch, and let out a scream that the $athroom&s tiled walls magnified enormously. There was a $a$$le of &What was that)& and &What&s going on)& from the few other occu(ied stalls. 4ddie caught the (aytoilet door $efore it could swing $ack all the way and latch. He gra$$ed $oth sides of the stall at the to( and hoisted himself feet first into the toilet. There was a hissing sound and a remarka$le $illow of steam. The two security guards $urst in. &Hold it, you in there7& one of them cried. He had drawn his gun. & ome out of there with your hands laced on to( of your head7& &"ou mind waiting until I (ut my feet out)& 4ddie 'elgardo snarled. K harlie was $ack. And she was crying again. &What ha((ened, $a$e)& &I got the money $ut . . . it got away from me again, 'addy . . . there was a man . . . a soldier . . . I couldn&t hel( it . . .& Andy felt the fear cree( u( on him. It was muted $y the (ain in his head and down the $ack of his neck, $ut it was there. &Was . . . was there a fire, harlie)& She couldn&t s(eak, $ut nodded. Tears coursed down her cheeks. &3h my 2od,& Andy whis(ered, and made himself get to his feet. That $roke harlie com(letely. She (ut her face in her hands and so$$ed hel(lessly, rocking $ack and forth. A knot of (eo(le had gathered around the door of the women&s room. It had $een (ro((ed o(en, $ut Andy couldn&t see . . . and then he could. The two security guards who had gone running down there were leading a tough*looking young man in an army uniform out of the $athroom and toward the security office. The young man was +awing at them loudly, and most of what he had to say was inventively (rofane. His uniform was mostly gone $elow the knees, and he was carrying two dri((ing, $lackened things that might once have $een shoes. Then they were gone into the office, the door slamming $ehind them. An e-cited $a$$le of conversation swe(t the terminal. Andy sat down again and (ut his arm around harlie. It was very hard to think now/
10
his thoughts were tiny silver fish swimming around in a great $lack sea of thro$$ing (ain. .ut he had to do the $est he could. He needed harlie if they were going to get out of this. &He&s all right, harlie. He&s okay. They +ust took him down to the security office. !ow, what ha((ened)& Through diminishing tears, harlie told him. 3verhearing the soldier on the (hone. Having a few random thoughts a$out him, a feeling that he was trying to trick the girl he was talking to. &And then, when I was coming $ack to you, I saw him . . . and $efore I could sto( it . . . it ha((ened. It +ust got away. I could have hurt him, 'addy. I could have hurt him $ad. I set him on fire7&.&0ee( your voice down,& he said. &I want you to listen to me, harlie. I think this is the most encouraging thing that&s ha((ened in some time.& &"*you do)& She looked at him in frank sur(rise. &"ou say it got away from you,& Andy said, forcing the words. &And it did. .ut not like $efore. It only got away a little $it. What ha((ened was dangerous, honey, $ut . . . you might have set his hair on fire. 3r his face.& She winced away from that thought, horrified. Andy turned her face gently $ack to his. &It&s a su$conscious thing, and it always goes out at someone you don&t like,& he said. &.ut . . . you didn&t really hurt that guy, harlie. "ou . . .& .ut the rest of it was gone and only the (ain was left. Was he still talking) 6or a moment he didn&t even know. harlie could still feel that thing, that .ad Thing, racing around in her head, wanting to get away again, to do something else. It was like a small, vicious, and rather stu(id animal. "ou had to let it out of its cage to do something like getting money from the (hones . . . $ut it could do something else, something really $ad. 9like mommy in the kitchen oh mom i&m sorry: $efore you could get it $ack in again. .ut now it didn&t matter. She wouldn&t think a$out it now, she wouldn&t think a$out 9the $andages my mommy has to wear $andages $ecause i hurt her: any of it now. Her father was what mattered now. He was slum(ed over in his T< chair, his face stam(ed with (ain. He was (a(er white. His eyes were $loodshot. 3h, 'addy, she thought, I&d trade even * Steven with you if I could. "ou&ve got something that hurts you $ut it never gets out of its cage. I&ve got something that doesn&t hurt me at all $ut oh sometimes I get so scared * &I&ve got the money,& she said. &I didn&t go to all the tele(hones, $ecause the $ag was getting heavy and I was afraid it would $reak.& She looked at him an-iously. &Where can you go, 'addy) "ou have to lie down.& . Andy reached into the $ag and slowly $egan to transfer the change in handfuls to the (ockets of his corduroy coat. He wondered if this night would ever end. He wanted to do nothing more than gra$ another ca$ and go into town and check them into the first hotel or motel in sight . . . $ut he was afraid. a$s could $e traced. And he had a strong feeling that the (eo(le from the green car were still close $ehind. He tried to (ut together what he knew a$out the Al$any air(ort. 6irst of all, it was the Al$any ounty Air(ort/ it really wasn&t in Al$any at all $ut in the town of olonie. Shaker country * hadn&t his grandfather told him once that this was Shaker country) 3r had all of them died out now) What a$out highways) Turn(ikes) The answer came slowly. There was a road . . . some sort of Way. !orthway or Southway, he thought. He o(ened his eyes and looked at harlie. & an you walk aways, kiddo) ou(le of miles, may$e)& &Sure.& She had sle(t and felt relatively fresh. & an you)& That was the 5uestion. He didn&t know. &I&m going to try,& he said. &I think we ought to walk out to the main road and try to catch a ride, hon.& &Hitchhike)& she asked. He nodded. &Tracing a hitchhiker is (retty hard, harlie. If we&re lucky, we&ll get a ride with someone who&ll $e in .uffalo $y morning.& And if we&re not, we&ll still $e standing in the $reakdown lane with our thum$s out when that green car comes rolling u(..&If you think it&s okay,& harlie said dou$tfully. & ome on,& he said, &hel( me.& 2igantic $olt of (ain as he got to his feet. He swayed a little, closed his eyes, then o(ened them again. ,eo(le looked surreal. olours seemed too $right. A woman walked $y on high heels, and every click on the air(ort tiles was the sound of a vault door $eing slammed. &'addy, are you sure you can)& Her voice was small and very scared. harlie. 3nly harlie looked right. &I think I can,& he said. & ome on.& They left $y a different door from the one they had entered, and the skyca( who had noticed them getting out of the ca$ was $usy unloading suitcases from the trunk of a car. He didn&t see them go out. &Which way, 'addy)& harlie asked. He looked $oth ways and saw the !orthway, curving away $elow and to the right of the terminal $uilding. How to get there, that was the 5uestion. There were roads everywhere * over(asses, under(asses. !3 8I2HT T>8!, ST3, 3! SI2!AL, 044, L46T, !3 ,A80I!2 A!"TI14. Traffic signals flashing in the early * morning $lackness like uneasy s(irits. &This way, I think,& he said, and they walked the length of the terminal $eside the feeder road that was lined with L3A'I!2 A!' >!L3A'I!2 3!L" signs. The sidewalk ended at the end of the terminal. A large silver 1ercedes swe(t $y them indifferently, and the reflected glow of the overhead sodium arcs on its surface made him wince. harlie was looking at him 5uestioningly. Andy nodded. &Just kee( as far over to the side as you can. Are you cold)&
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&!o, 'addy.& &Thank goodness it&s a warm night. "our mother would * & His mouth sna((ed shut over that. The two of them walked off into darkness, the $ig man with the $road shoulders and the little girl in the red (ants and the green $louse, holding his hand, almost seeming to lead him. A The green car showed u( a$out fifteen minutes later and (arked at the yellow cur$. Two men got out, the same two who had chased Andy and harlie to the ca$ $ack in 1anhattan. The driver sat $ehind the wheel. An air(ort co( strolled u(. &"ou can&t (ark here, sir,& he said. &If you&ll +ust (ull u( to * & &Sure I can,& the driver said. He showed the co( his I'. The air(ort co( looked at it, looked at the driver, looked $ack at the (icture on the I'. &3h,& he said. &I&m sorry, sir. Is it something we should know a$out)& &!othing that affects air(ort security,& the driver said, &$ut may$e you can hel(. Have you seen either of these two (eo(le tonight)& He handed the air(ort co( a (icture of Andy, and then a fu==y (icture of harlie. Her hair had $een longer then. In the sna(, it was $raided into (igtails. Her mother had $een alive then. &The girl&s a year or so older now,&.the driver said. &Her hair&s a $it shorter. A$out to her shoulders.& The co( e-amined the (ictures carefully, shuffling them $ack and forth. &"ou know, I $elieve I did see this little girl,& he said. &Towhead, isn&t she) ,icture makes it a little hard to tell.& &Towhead, right.& &The man her father)& &Ask me no 5uestions, I&ll tell you no lies.& The air(ort co( felt a wave of dislike for the $land*faced young man $ehind the wheel of the nondescri(t green car. He had had (eri(heral doings with the 6.I, the IA, and the outfit they called the Sho( $efore. Their agents were all the same, $lankly arrogant and (atroni=ing. They regarded anyone in a $luesuit as a kiddy co(. .ut when they&d had the hi+acking here five years ago, it had $een the kiddy co(s who got the guy, loaded down with grenades, off the (lane, and he had $een in custody of the &real& co(s when he committed suicide $y o(ening u( his carotid artery with his own fingernails. !ice going, guys. &Look . . . sir. I asked if the man was her father to try and find out if there&s a family resem$lance. Those (ictures make it a little hard to tell.& &They look a $it alike. 'ifferent hair colors.& That much % can see for myself, you asshole, the air(ort co( thought. &I saw them $oth,& the co( told the driver of the green car. &He&s a $ig guy, $igger than he looks in that (icture. He looked sick or something.& &'id he)& The driver seemed (leased. &We&ve had a $ig night here, all told. Some fool also managed to light his own shoes on fire.& The driver sat $olt u(right $ehind the wheel. &Say what)& The air(ort co( nodded, ha((y to have got through the driver&s $ored faLade. He would not have $een so ha((y if the driver had told him he had +ust earned himself a de$riefing in the Sho(&s 1anhattan offices. And 4ddie 'elgardo (ro$a$ly would have $eaten the cra( out of him, $ecause instead of touring the singles $ars 9and the massage (arlors, and the Times S5uare (orno sho(s: during the .ig A((le segment of his leave, he was going to s(end most of it in a drug*induced state of total recall, descri$ing over and over again what had ha((ened $efore and +ust after his shoes got hot. C The other two men from the green sedan were talking to air(ort (ersonnel. 3ne of them discovered the skyca( who had noticed Andy and harlie getting out of the ca$ and going into the terminal. &Sure I saw them. I thought it was a (ure*d shame, a man as drunk as that having a little girl out that late.& &1ay$e they took a (lane,& one of the men suggested. &1ay$e so,& the skyca( agreed. &I wonder what that child&s mother can $e thinking of. I wonder if she knows what&s going on.& &I dou$t if she does,& the man in the dark*$lue .otany IGG suit said. He s(oke with great sincerity. &"ou didn&t see them leave)&.&!o, sir. 6ar as I know, they&re still round here somewhere . . . unless their flight&s $een called, of course.& %G The two men made a 5uick swee( through the main terminal and then through the $oarding gates, holding their I's u( in their cu((ed hands for the security co(s to see. They met near the >nited Airlines ticket desk. &'ry,& the first said. &Think they took a (lane)& the second asked. He was the fellow in the nice $lue .otany IGG. &I don&t think that $astard had more than fifty $ucks to his name . . . may$e a whole lot less than that.& &We $etter check it.& &"eah. .ut 5uick.& >nited Airlines. Allegheny. American. .raniff. The commuter airlines. !o $road*shouldered man who looked sick had $ought tickets. The $aggage handler at Al$any Airlines thought he had seen a little girl in red (ants and a green shirt, though. ,retty $lond hair, shoulder*length.
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The two of them met again near the T< chairs where Andy and harlie had $een sitting not long ago. &What do you think)& the first asked. The agent in the .otany IGG looked e-cited. &I think we ought to $lanket the area,& he said. &I think they&re on foot.& They headed $ack to the green car, almost trotting. %% Andy and harlie walked on through the dark along the soft shoulder of the air(ort feeder road. An occasional car swe(t $y them. It was almost one o&clock. A mile $ehind them, in the terminal, the two men had re+oined their third (artner at the green car. Andy and harlie were now walking (arallel to the !orthway, which was to their right and $elow them, lit $y the de(thless glare of sodium lights. It might $e (ossi$le to scram$le down the em$ankment and try to thum$ a ride in the $reakdown lane, $ut if a co( came along, that would end whatever (oor chance they still had to get away. Andy was wondering how far they would have to walk $efore they came to a ram(. 4ach time his foot came down, it generated a thud that resounded sickly in his head. &'addy) Are you still okay)& &So far, so good,& he said, $ut he was not so very okay. He wasn&t fooling himself, and he dou$ted if he was fooling harlie. &How much further is it)& &Are you getting tired)& &!ot yet . . . $ut 'addy . . .& He sto((ed and looked solemnly down at her. &What is it, harlie)& &I feel like those $ad men are around again,& she whis(ered..&All right,& he said. &I think we $etter +ust take a shortcut, honey. an you get down that hill without falling)& She looked at the grade, which was covered with dead 3cto$er grass. &I guess so,& she said dou$tfully. He ste((ed over the guardrail ca$les and then hel(ed harlie over. As it sometimes did in moments of e-treme (ain and stress, his mind attem(ted to flee into the (ast, to get away from the stress. There had $een some good years, some good times, $efore the shadow $egan to steal gradually over their lives * first +ust over him and <icky, then over all three, $lotting out their ha((iness a little at a time, as ine-ora$ly as a lunar ecli(se. It had $een * &'addy7& harlie called in sudden alarm. She had lost her footing. The dry grass was sli((ery, treacherous. Andy gra$$ed for her flailing arm, missed, and over$alanced himself. The thud as he hit the ground caused such (ain in his head that he cried out loud. Then they were $oth rolling and sliding down the em$ankment toward the !orthway where the cars rushed (ast, much too fast to sto( if one of them * he or harlie * should tum$le out onto the (avement. %? The 2A loo(ed a (iece of ru$$er fle- around Andy&s arm +ust a$ove the el$ow and said, &1ake a fist, (lease.& Andy did. The vein (o((ed u( o$ligingly. He looked away, feeling a little ill. Two hundred dollars or not, he had no urge to watch the I< set in (lace. <icky Tomlinson was on the ne-t cot, dressed in a sleeveless white $louse and dove*gray slacks. She offered him a strained smile. He thought again what $eautiful au$urn hair she had, how well it went with her direct $lue eyes . . . then the (rick of (ain, followed $y dull heat, in his arm. &There,& the grad assistant said comfortingly. &There yourself,& Andy said. He was not comforted. They were in 8oom KG of Jason 2earneigh Hall, u(stairs. A do=en cots had $een trucked in, courtesy of the college infirmary, and the twelve volunteers were lying (ro((ed u( on hy(oallergenic foam (illows, earning their money. 'r. Wanless started none of the I<s himself, $ut he was walking u( and down $etween the cots with a word for everyone, and a little frosty smile. We&ll start to shrink anytime now, Andy thought mor$idly. Wanless had made a $rief s(eech when they were all assem$led, and what he had said, when $oiled down, amounted to; 'o not fear. "ou are wra((ed snugly in the arms of 1odern Science. Andy had no great faith in 1odern Science, which had given the world the H * $om$, na(alm and the laser rifle, along with the Salk vaccine and learasil. The grad assistant was doing something else now. rim(ing the I< line. The I< dri( was five (ercent de-trose in water, Wanless had said . . . what he called a 'IW solution. .elow the crim(, a small ti( (oked out of the I< line. If Andy got Lot Si-, it would $e administered $y syringe through the ti(. If he was in the control grou(, it would $e normal saline. Head or tails. He glanced over at <icky again. &How you doin, kid)& &3kay.&.Wanless had arrived. He stood $etween them, looking first at <icky and then at Andy. &"ou feel some slight (ain, yes)& He had no accent of any kind, least of all a regional * American one, $ut he constructed his sentences in a way Andy associated with 4nglish learned as a second language. &,ressure,& <icky said. &Slight (ressure.& &"es) It will (ass.& He smiled $enevolently down at Andy. In his white la$ coat he seemed very tall. His glasses seemed very small. The small and the tall. Andy said, &When do we start to shrink)& Wanless continued to smile. &'o you feel you will shrink)& &Shhhhrrrrrink,& Andy said, and grinned foolishly. Something was ha((ening to him. .y 2od, he was getting high. He was getting off. &4verything will $e fine,& Wanless said, and smiled more widely. He (assed on. Horseman, (ass $y, Andy thought $emusedly. He looked over at <icky again. How $right her hair was7 6or some cra=y reason it reminded him of the co((er wire on the
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armature of a new motor . . . generator . . . alternator . . . fli$$ertigi$$et . . . He laughed aloud. Smiling slightly, as if sharing the +oke, the grad assistant crim(ed the line and in+ected a little more of the hy(o&s contents into Andy&s arm and strolled away again. Andy could look at the I< line now. It didn&t $other him now. I&m a (ine tree, he thought. See my $eautiful needles. He laughed again. <icky was smiling at him. 2od, she was $eautiful. He wanted to tell her how $eautiful she was, how her hair was like co((er set aflame. &Thank you,& she said. &What a nice com(liment.& Had she said that) 3r had he imagined it) 2ras(ing the last shreds of his mind, he said, &I think I cra((ed out on the distilled water, <icky.& She said (lacidly, &1e too.& &!ice, isn&t it)& &!ice,& she agreed dreamily. Somewhere someone was crying. .a$$ling hysterically. The sound rose and fell in interesting cycles. After what seemed like eons of contem(lation, Andy turned his head to see what was going on. It was interesting. 4verything had $ecome interesting. 4verything seemed to $e in slow motion. Slomo, as the avant * garde cam(us film critic always (ut it in his columns. In this film, as in others, Antonioni achieves some of his most s(ectacular effects with his use of slomo footage. What an interesting, really clever word/ it had the sound of a snake sli((ing out of a refrigerator; slomo. Several of the grad assistants were running in slomo toward one of the cots that had $een (laced near 8oom KG&s $lack$oard. The young fellow on the cot a((eared to $e doing something to his eyes. "es, he was definitely doing something to his eyes, $ecause his fingers were hooked into them and he seemed to $e clawing his eye$alls out of his head. His hands were hooked into claws, and $lood was gushing from his eyes. It was gushing in slomo. The needle fla((ed from his arm in slomo. Wanless was running in slomo. The eyes of the kid on the cot now looked like deflated (oached eggs, Andy noted clinically. "es indeedy. Then the white coats were all gathered around the cot, and you couldn&t see the kid anymore. 'irectly $ehind him, a chart hung down. It showed the 5uadrants of the human.$rain. Andy looked at this with great interest for a while. <errry in*der*rresting, as Arte Johnson said on Laugh*In. A $loody hand rose out of the huddle of white coats, like the hand of a drowning man. The fingers were streaked with gore and shreds of tissue hung from them. The hand smacked the chart, leaving a $loodstain in the sha(e of a large comma. The chart rattled u( on its roller with a smacking sound. Then the cot was lifted 9it was still im(ossi$le to see the $oy who had clawed his eyes out: and carried $riskly from the room. A few minutes 9hours) days) years): later, one of the grad assistants came over to Andy&s cot, e-amined his dri(, and then in+ected some more Lot Si- into Andy&s mind. &How you feeling, guy)& the 2A asked, $ut of course he wasn&t a 2A, he wasn&t a student/ none of them were. 6or one thing, this guy looked a$out thirty*five, and that was a little long in the tooth for a graduate student. 6or another, this guy worked for the Sho(. Andy suddenly knew it. It was a$surd, $ut he knew it. And the man&s name was . . . Andy gro(ed for it, and he got it. The man&s name was 8al(h .a-ter. He smiled. 8al(h .a-ter. 2ood deal. &I feel okay,& he said. &How&s that other fella)& &What other fella&s that, Andy)& &The one who clawed his eyes out,& Andy said serenely. 8al(h .a-ter smiled and (atted Andy&s hand. &,retty visual stuff&, huh, guy)& &!o, really,& <icky said. &I saw it, too.& &"ou think you did,& the 2A who was not a 2A said. &"ou +ust shared the same illusion. There was a guy over there $y the $oard who had a muscular reaction . . . something like a charley horse. !o clawed eyes. !o $lood.& He started away again. Andy said, &1y man, it is im(ossi$le to share the same illusion without some (rior consultation.& He felt immensely clever. The logic was im(ecca$le, inargua$le. He had old 8al(h .a-ter $y the shorts. 8al(h smiled $ack, undaunted. &With this drug, it&s very (ossi$le,& he said. &I&ll $e $ack in a $it, okay)& &3kay, 8al(h,& Andy said. 8al(h (aused and came $ack toward where Andy lay on his cot. He came $ack in slomo. He looked thoughtfully down at Andy. Andy grinned $ack, a wide, foolish, drugged*out grin. 2ot you there, 8al(h old son. 2ot you right $y the (rover$ial shorts. Suddenly a wealth of information a$out 8al(h .a-ter flooded in on him, tons of stuff; he was thirty*five, he had $een with the Sho( for si- years, $efore that he&d $een with the 6.I for two years, he had * He had killed four (eo(le during his career, three men and one woman. And he had ra(ed the woman after she was dead. She had $een an A, stringer and she had known a$out * That (art wasn&t clear. And it didn&t matter. Suddenly Andy didn&t want to know. The grin faded from his li(s. 8al(h .a-ter was still looking down at him, and Andy was swe(t $y a $lack (aranoia that he remem$ered from his two (revious LS' tri(s . . . $ut this was dee(er and much more frightening. He had no idea how he could know such things a$out 8al(h .a-ter * or how he had known his name at all * $ut if he told 8al(h that he knew, he was terri$ly afraid that he might disa((ear from 8oom KG of Jason.2earneigh with the same swiftness as the $oy who had clawed his eyes out; 3r may$e all
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of that really had $een a hallucination/ it didn&t seem real at all now. 8al(h was still looking at him. Little $y little he $egan to smile. &See)& he said softly. &With Lot Si-, all kinds of funky things ha((en.& He left. Andy let out a slow sigh of relief. He looked over at <icky and she was looking $ack at him, her eyes were wide and frightened. She&s getting your emotions, he thought. Like a radio. Take it easy on her7 8emem$er she&s tri((ing, whatever else this weird shit is7 He smiled at her, and after a moment, <icky smiled uncertainly $ack. She asked him what was wrong. He told her he didn&t know, (ro$a$ly nothing. 9$ut we&re not talking * her mouth&s not moving: 9it&s not): 9vicky) is that you: 9is it tele(athy, andy) is it): He didn&t know. It was something. He let his eyes sli( closed. Are those really grad assistants) she asked him, trou$led. They don&t look the same. Is it the drug, Andy) I don&t know, he said, eyes still closed. I don&t know who they are. What ha((ened to that $oy) The one they took away) He o(ened his eyes again and looked at her, $ut <icky was shaking her head. She didn&t remem$er. Andy was sur(rised and dismayed to find that he hardly remem$ered himself. It seemed to have ha((ened years ago. 2ot a charley horse, hadn&t he, that guy) A muscular twitch, that&s all. He * lawed his eyes out. .ut what did it matter, really) Hand rising out of the huddle of white coats like the hand of a drowning man. .ut it ha((ened a long time ago. Like in the twelfth century. .loody hand. Striking the chart. The chart rattling u( on its roller with a smacking sound. .etter to drift. <icky was looking trou$led again. Suddenly music $egan to flood down from the s(eakers in the ceiling, and that was nice . . . much nicer than thinking a$out charley horses and leaking eye$alls. The music was soft and yet ma+estic. 1uch later, Andy decided 9in consultation with <icky: that it had $een 8achmaninoff. And ever after when he heard 8achmaninoff, it $rought $ack drifting, dreamy memories of that endless, timeless time in 8oom KG of Jason 2earneigh Hall. How much of it had $een real, how much hallucination) Twelve years of off*and*on thought had not answered that 5uestion for Andy 1c2ee. At one (oint, o$+ects had seemed to fly through the room as if an invisi$le wind were $lowing * (a(er cu(s, towels, a $lood*(ressure cuff, a deadly hail of (ens and (encils. At another (oint, sometime later 9or had it really $een earlier) there was +ust no linear se5uence:, one of the test su$+ects had gone into a muscular sei=ure followed $y cardiac arrest * or so it had seemed. There had $een frantic efforts to restore him using mouth*to*mouth resuscitation, followed $y a shot of something directly into the chest cavity, and finally a machine that made a high whine and had two $lack cu(s attached to thick wires. Andy seemed to remem$er one of the &grad assistants& roaring, &Ja( him7 Ja( him7 3h, give them to me, you fuckhead7& At another (oint he had sle(t, do=ing in and out of a twilight consciousness. He s(oke.to <icky and they told each other a$out themselves. Andy told her a$out the car accident that had taken his mother&s life and how he had s(ent the ne-t year with his aunt in a semi*nervous $reakdown of grief. She told him that when she was seven, a teenage $a$y*sitter had assaulted her and now she was terri$ly afraid of se-, even more afraid that she might $e frigid, it was that more than anything else that had forced her and her $oyfriend to the $reaku(. He ke(t . . . (ressing her. They told each other things that a man and a woman don&t tell each other until they&ve known each other for years . . . things a man and a woman often never tell, not even in the dark marriage $ed after decades of $eing together. .ut did they s(eak) That Andy never knew. Time had sto((ed, $ut somehow it (assed anyway. %H He came out of the do=e a little at a time. The 8achmaninoff was gone . . . if it had ever $een there at all. <icky was slee(ing (eacefully on the cot $eside him, her hands folded $etween her $reasts, the sim(le hands of a child who has fallen aslee( while offering her $edtime (rayers. Andy looked at her and was sim(ly aware that at some (oint he had fallen in love with her. It was a dee( and com(lete feeling, a$ove 9and $elow: 5uestion. After a while he looked around. Several of the cots were em(ty. There were may$e five test su$+ects left in the room. Some were slee(ing. 3ne was sitting u( on his cot and a grad assistant * a (erfectly normal grad assistant of (erha(s twenty*five * was 5uestioning him and writing notes on a cli($oard. The test su$+ect a((arently said something funny, $ecause $oth of them laughed in the low, considerate way you do when others around you are slee(ing. Andy sat u( and took inventory of himself. He felt fine. He tried a smile and found that it fit (erfectly. His muscles lay (eacefully against one another. He felt eager and fresh, every (erce(tion shar(ly honed and somehow innocent. He could remem$er feeling this way as a kid, waking u( on Saturday morning, knowing his $ike was heeled over on its kickstand in the garage, and feeling that the whole weekend stretched ahead of him like a carnival of dreams where every ride was free. 3ne of the grad assistants came over and said, &How you feeling, Andy)& Andy looked at him. This was the same guy that had in+ected him * when) A year ago) He ru$$ed a (alm over his cheek and heard the ras( of $eard stu$$le. &I feel like 8i( van Winkle,& he said.
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The 2A smiled. &It&s only $een forty*eight hours, not twenty years. How do you feel, really)& &6ine.& &!ormal)& &Whatever that word means, yes. !ormal. Where&s 8al(h)& &8al(h)& The 2A raised his eye$rows. &"es, 8al(h .a-ter. A$out thirty*five. .ig guy. Sandy hair.& The grad assistant smiled. &"ou dreamed him u(,& he said. Andy looked at the 2A uncertainly. &I did what)&.&'reamed him u(. Hallucinated him. The only 8al(h I know who&s involved in all the Lot Si- tests in any way is a 'artan ,harmaceutical re( named 8al(h Steinham. And he&s fifty*five or so.& Andy looked at the 2A for a long time without saying anything. 8al(h an illusion) Well, may$e so. It had all the (aranoid elements of a do(e dream, certainly/ Andy seemed to remem$er thinking 8al(h was some sort of secret agent who had wasted all sorts of (eo(le. He smiled a little. The 2A smiled $ack . . . a little too readily, Andy thought. 3r was that (aranoia, too) Surely it was. The guy who had $een sitting u( and talking when Andy woke u( was now $eing escorted from the room, drinking from a (a(er cu( of orange +uice. autiously, Andy said; &!o one got hurt, did they)& &Hurt)& &Well * no one had a convulsion, did they) 3r * & The grad assistant leaned forward, looking concerned. &Say, Andy, I ho(e you won&t go s(reading anything like that around cam(us. It would (lay $loody hell with 'r. Wanless&s research (rogram. We have Lots Seven and 4ight coming u( ne-t semester, and * & &Was there anything)& &There was one $oy who had a muscular reaction, minor $ut 5uite (ainful,& the 2A said. &It (assed in less than fifteen minutes with no harm done. .ut there&s a witchhunt atmos(here around here now. 4nd the draft, $an 83T , $an 'ow hemical +o$ recruiters $ecause they make na(alm . . . Things get out of (ro(ortion, and I ha((en to think this is (retty im(ortant research.& &Who was the guy)& &!ow you know I can&t tell you that. All I am saying is (lease remem$er you were under the influence of a mild hallucinogenic. 'on&t go mi-ing u( your drug*induced fantasies with reality and then start s(reading the com$ination around.& &Would I $e allowed to do that)& Andy asked. The 2A looked (u==led. &I don&t see how we could sto( you. Any college e-(erimental (rogram is (retty much at the mercy of its volunteers. 6or a lousy two hundred $ucks we can hardly e-(ect you to sign an oath of allegiance, can we)& Andy felt relief. If this guy was lying, he was doing a really su(erlative +o$ of it. It had all $een a series of hallucinations. And on the cot $eside his, <icky was $eginning to stir. &!ow what a$out it)& the 2A asked, smiling. &I think I&m su((osed to $e asking the 5uestions.& And he did ask 5uestions. .y the time Andy finished answering them, <icky was fully awake, looking rested and calm and radiant, and smiling at him. The 5uestions were detailed. 1any of them were the 5uestions Andy himself would have asked. So why did he have the feeling they were all window dressing) %B Sitting on a couch in one of the smaller >nion lounges that evening, Andy and <icky com(ared hallucinations. She had no memory of the thing that trou$led him the most; that $loody hand waving lim(ly a$ove the knot of white tunics, striking the chart, and then disa((earing. Andy had.no recollection of the thing that was most vivid to her; a man with long $lond hair had set u( a folding ta$le $y her cot, so that it was +ust at her eye level. He had (ut a row of great $ig dominoes on the ta$le and said, &0nock them down, <icky. 0nock them all down.& And she had raised her hands to (ush them over, wanting to o$lige, and the man had gently $ut firmly (ressed her hands $ack down on her chest. &"ou don&t need your hands, <icky,& he had said. &Just knock them down.& So she had looked at the dominoes and they had all fallen over, one after the other. A do=en or so in all. &It made me feel very tired,& she told Andy, smiling that small, slantwise smile of hers. &And I had gotten this idea somehow that we were discussing <ietnam, you know. So I said something like, E"es, that (roves it, if South <ietnam goes, they all go.& And he smiled and (atted my hands and said, EWhy don&t you slee( for a while, <icky) "ou must $e tired.& So I did.& She shook her head., &.ut now it doesn&t seem real at all. I think I must have made it u( entirely or $uilt a hallucination around some (erfectly normal test. "ou don&t remem$er seeing him, do you) Tall guy with shoulder*length $lond hair and a little scar on his chin)& Andy shook his head. &.ut I still don&t understand how we could share any of the same fantasies,& Andy said, &unless they&ve develo(ed a drug over there that&s tele(athic as well as an hallucinogenic. I know there&s $een some talk a$out that in the last few years . . . the idea seems to $e that if hallucinogens can heighten (erce(tion . . .& He shrugged, then grinned. & arlos astaneda, where are you when we need you)& &Isn&t it more likely that we +ust discussed the same fantasy and then forgot we did)& <icky asked. He agreed it was a strong (ossi$ility, $ut he still felt dis5uieted $y the whole e-(erience. It had $een, as they say, a $ummer. Taking his courage in his hands, he said, &The only thing I really am sure of is that I seem to $e falling in love with you, <icky.&
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She smiled nervously and kissed the corner of his mouth. &That&s sweet, Andy, $ut& &.ut you&re a little afraid of me. 3f men in general, may$e.& &1ay$e I am,& she said. &All I&m asking for is a chance.& &"ou&ll have your chance,& she said. &I like you, Andy. A lot. .ut (lease remem$er that I get scared. Sometimes I +ust . . . get scared.& She tried to shrug lightly, $ut it turned into something like a shudder. &I&ll remem$er,& he said, and drew her into his arms and kissed her. There was a moment&s hesitation, and then she kissed $ack, holding his hands firmly in hers. %I &'addy7& harlie screamed. The world revolved sickly in front of Andy&s eyes. The sodium arc lam(s lining the !orthway were $elow him, the ground was a$ove him and shaking him loose. Then he was on his $utt, sliding down the lower half of the em$ankment like a kid on a slide. harlie was $elow him rolling hel(lessly over and over. 3h no, she&s going to shoot right out into the traffic *.& harlie7& he yelled hoarsely, hurting his throat, his head. &Watch it7& Then she was down, s5uatting in the $reakdown lane, washed $y the harsh lights of a (assing car, so$$ing. A moment later he landed $eside her with a solid wha(7 that rocketed all the way u( his s(ine to his head. Things dou$led in front of his eyes, tri(led, and then gradually settled down. harlie was sitting on her haunches, her head cradled in her arms. & harlie,& he said, touching her arm. &It&s all right, honey.& &I wish I did go in front of the cars7& she cried out, her voice $right and vicious with a self*loathing that made Andy&s heart ache in his chest. &I deserve to for setting that man on fire7& &Shhh,& he said. & harlie, you don&t have to think of that anymore.& He held her. The cars swashed $y them. Any one of them could $e a co(, and that would end it. At this (oint it would almost $e a relief. Her so$s faded off little $y little. ,art of it, he reali=ed, was sim(le tiredness. The same thing that was aggravating his headache (ast the screaming (oint and $ringing this unwelcome flood of memories. If they could only get somewhere and lie down. . . . & an you get u(, harlie)& She got to her feet slowly, $rushing the last of the tears away. Her face was a (allid moonlet in the dark. Looking at her, he felt a shar( lance of guilt. She should $e snugly tucked into a $ed somewhere in a house with a shrinking mortgage, a teddy $ear crooked under one arm, ready to go $ack to school the ne-t morning and do $attle for 2od, country, and the second grade. Instead, she was standing in the $reakdown lane of a turn(ike s(ur in u(state !ew "ork at one*fifteen in the morning, on the run, consumed with guilt $ecause she had inherited something from her mother and father * something she herself had had no more (art in determining than the direct $lue of her eyes. How do you e-(lain to a seven*year*old girl that 'addy and 1ommy had once needed two hundred dollars and the (eo(le they had talked to said it was all right, $ut they had lied) &We&re going to hook us a ride,& Andy said, and he couldn&t tell if he had slung his arm around her shoulders to comfort her or to su((ort himself. &We&ll get to a hotel or a motel and we&ll slee(. Then we&ll think a$out what to do ne-t. That sound all right)& harlie nodded listlessly. &3kay,& he said, and cocked his thum$. The cars rushed $y it, unheeding, and less than two miles away the green car was on its way again. Andy knew nothing of this/ his harried mind had turned $ack to that night with <icky in the >nion. She was staying at one of the dorms and he had dro((ed her off there, relishing her li(s again on the ste( +ust outside the $ig dou$le doors, and she had (ut her arms hesitantly around his neck, this girl who had still $een a virgin. They had $een young, Jesus they had $een young. The cars rushed $y, harlie&s hair lifted and dro((ed in each $ackwash of air, and he remem$ered the rest of what had ha((ened that night twelve years ago. %D Andy started across cam(us after seeing <icky into her dorm, headed for the highway where he could hitch a ride into town. Although he could feel it only faintly against his face, the 1ay wind $eat strongly through the elms lining the mall, as if an invisi$le river.ran through the air +ust a$ove him, a river from which he could detect only the faintest, farthest ri((les. Jason 2earneigh Hall was on his way and he sto((ed in front of its dark $ulk. Around it, the trees with their new foliage danced sinuously in the unseen current of that river of wind. A cool chill wormed its way down his s(ine and then settled in his stomach, free=ing him lightly. He shivered even though the evening was warm. A $ig silver*dollar moon rode $etween the growing rafts of clouds gilded keel$oats running $efore the wind, running on that dark river of air. The moonlight reflected on the $uilding&s windows, making them glare like $lankly un(leasant eyes. Something ha((ened in there, he thought. Something more than what we were told or led to e-(ect. What was it) In his mind&s eye he saw that drowning, $loody hand again * only this time he saw it striking the chart, leaving a $loodstain in the sha(e of a comma . . . and then the chart rolling u( with a rattling, smacking sound. He walked toward the $uilding. ra=y. They&re not going to let you into a lecture hall at (ast ten o&clock. And * And I&m scared. "es. That was it. Too many dis5uieting half memories. Too easy to (ersuade himself they had only $een fantasies/ <icky was already on her way to accom(lishing that. A test su$+ect clawing his eyes out. Someone screaming that she wished she were dead, that $eing dead would $e $etter than this, even if it meant going to hell and $urning there for
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eternity. Someone else going into cardiac arrest and then $eing $undled out of sight with chilling (rofessionalism. .ecause, let&s face it, Andy old kid, thinking a$out tele(athy doesn&t scare you. What scares you is the thought that one of those things might have ha((ened. Heels clicking, he walked u( to the $ig dou$le doors and tried them. Locked. .ehind them he could see the em(ty lo$$y. Andy knocked, and when he saw someone coming out of the shadows, he almost ran. He almost ran $ecause the face that was going to a((ear out of those swimming shadows would $e the face of 8al(h .a-ter, or of a tall man with shoulder*length $lond hair and a scar on his chin. .ut it was neither/ the man who came over to the lo$$y doors and unlocked them and stuck his 5uerulous face out was a ty(ical college security guard; a$out si-ty * two, lined cheeks and forehead, wary $lue eyes that were rheumy from too much $ottle time. A $ig time clock was cli((ed to his $elt. &.uilding&s closed7& he said. &I know,& Andy said, &$ut I was (art of an e-(eriment in 8oom Seventy that finished u( this morning and * & &That don&t matter7 .uilding closes at nine on week*nights7 ome $ack tomorrow7& & * and I think I left my watch in there,& Andy said. He didn&t own a watch. &Hey, what do you say) Just one 5uick look around.& &I can&t do that,& the night man said, $ut all at once he sounded strangely unsure. With no thought at all a$out it one way or another, Andy said in a low voice; &Sure you can. I&ll +ust take a look and then I&ll $e out of your way. "ou won&t even remem$er I was here, right)& A sudden weird feeling in his head; it was as if he had reached out, and (ushed this elderly night security man, only with his head instead of his hands. And the guard did.take two or three uncertain ste(s $ackward, letting go of the door. Andy ste((ed in, a little concerned. There was a sudden shar( (ain in his head, $ut it su$sided to a low thro$ that was gone half an hour later. &Say, are you all right)& he asked the security man. &Huh) Sure, I&m okay.& The security man&s sus(icion was gone/ he gave Andy a smile that was entirely friendly. &2o on u( and look for your watch, if you want to. Take your time. I (ro$a$ly won&t even remem$er that you&re here.& And he strolled off; Andy looked after him dis$elievingly and then ru$$ed his forehead a$sently, as if to soothe the mild ache there. What in 2od&s name had he done to that old duck) Something, that was for sure. He turned, went to the stairs, and $egan clim$ing them. The u((er hall was dee(ly shadowed and narrow/ a nagging feeling of claustro(ho$ia sli((ed around him and seemed to tighten his $reathing, like an invisi$le dog*collar. >( here, the $uilding had (oked into that river of wind, and the air went skating under the eaves, screaming thinly. 8oom KG had two dou$le doors, the to( halves two s5uares of frosted, (e$$led glass. Andy stood outside them, listening to the wind move through the old gutters and downs(outs, rattling the rusty leaves of dead years. His heart was thudding heavily in his chest. He almost walked away from it then/ it seemed suddenly easier not to know, +ust to forget it. Then he reached out and gras(ed one of the doorkno$s, telling himself there was nothing to worry a$out anyway $ecause the damn room would $e locked and good riddance to it. 4-ce(t that it wasn&t. The kno$ turned freely. The door o(ened. The room was em(ty, lit only $y stuttering moonlight through the moving $ranches of the old elms outside. There was enough light for him to see that the cots had $een removed. The $lack$oard had $een erased and washed. The chart was rolled u( like a windowshade, only the (ull ring dangling. Andy ste((ed toward it, and after a moment he reached u( with a hand that trem$led slightly and (ulled it down. @uadrants of the $rain/ the human mind served u( and marked like a $utcher&s diagram. Just seeing it made him get that tri((y feeling again, like an acid flash. !othing fun a$out it/ it was sickening, and a moan esca(ed his throat, as delicate as a silver strand of s(iderwe$. The $loodstain was there, comma*$lack in the moon&s uneasy light. A (rinted legend that had undou$tedly read 38,>S ALL3S>1 $efore this weekend&s e-(eriment now read 38 3S>1, the comma*sha(ed stain intervening. Such a small thing. Such a huge thing. He stood in the dark, looking at it, starting to shake for real. How much of it did this make true) Some) 1ost) All) !one of the a$ove) 6rom $ehind him he heard a sound, or thought he did; the stealthy s5ueak of a shoe. His hands +erked and one of them struck the chart with that same awful smacking sound. It rattled $ack u( on its roller, the sound dreadfully loud in this $lack (it of a room. A sudden knocking on the moonlight*dusted far window/ a $ranch, or (erha(s dead fingers streaked with gore and tissue; let me in I left my eyes in there oh let me in let me.in * He whirled in a slow*motion dream, a slomo dream, sinkingly sure that it would $e that $oy, a s(irit in a white ro$e, dri((ing $lack holes where his eyes had $een. His heart was a live thing in his throat. !o one there. !o thing there. .ut his nerve was $roken and then the $ranch $egan its im(laca$le knocking again, he fled, not $othering to close the classroom door $ehind him. He s(rinted down the narrow corridor and suddenly footfalls were (ursuing him, echoes of his own running feet. He
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went down the stairs two at a time and so came $ack into the lo$$y, $reathing hard, the $lood hammering at his tem(les. The air in his throat (rickled like cut hay. He didn&t see the security man anywhere a$out. He left, shutting one of the $ig glass lo$$y doors $ehind him and slinking down the walk to the 5uad like the fugitive he would later $ecome. %K 6ive days later, and much against her will, Andy dragged <icky Tomlinson down to Jason 2earneigh Hall. She had already decided she never wanted to think a$out the e-(eriment again. She had drawn her two*hundred*dollar check from the ,sychology 'e(artment, $anked it, and wanted to forget where it had come from. He (ersuaded her to come, using elo5uence he hadn&t $een aware he (ossessed. They went at the two*fifty change of classes/ the $ells of Harrison ha(el (layed a carillon in the do=ing 1ay air. &!othing can ha((en to us in $road daylight,& he said, uneasily refusing to clarify, even in his own mind, e-actly what he might $e afraid of. &!ot with do=ens of (eo(le all around.& &I +ust don&t want to go, Andy,& she had said, $ut she had gone. There were two or three kids leaving the lecture room with $ooks under their arms. Sunshine (ainted the windows a (rosier hue than the diamond * dust of moonlight Andy remem$ered. As Andy and <icky entered, a few others trickled in for their three*o&clock $iology seminar. 3ne of them $egan to talk softly and earnestly to a (air of the others a$out an end*83T march that was coming off that weekend. !o one took the slightest notice of Andy and <icky. &All right,& Andy said, and his voice was thick and nervous. &See what you think.& He (ulled the chart down $y the dangling ring. They were looking at a naked man with his skin flayed away and his organs la$eled. His muscles looked like interwoven skeins of red yarn. Some wit had la$eled him 3scar the 2rouch. &Jesus7& Andy said. She gri((ed his arm and her hand was warm with nervous (ers(iration. &Andy,& she said. &,lease, let&s go. .efore someone recogni=es us.& "es, he was ready to go. The fact that the chart had $een changed somehow scared him more than anything else. He +erked the (ull ring down shar(ly and let it go. It made that same smacking sound as it went u(. 'ifferent chart. Same sound. Twelve years later he could still hear the sound it made * when his aching head would let him. He never ste((ed into 8oom KG of Jason.2earneigh Hall after that day, $ut he was ac5uainted with that sound. He heard it fre5uently in his dreams . . . and saw that 5uesting, drowning, $loodstained hand. %A The green car whis(ered along the air(ort feeder road toward the !orthway entrance ram(. .ehind the wheel, !orville .ates sat with his hands firmly at ten and two o&clock. lassical music came from the 61 receiver in a muted, smooth flow. His hair was now short and com$ed $ack, $ut the small, semicircular scar on his chin hadn&t changed * the (lace where he had cut himself on a +agged (iece of oke $ottle as a kid. <icky, had she still $een alive, would have recogni=ed him. &We have one unit on the way,& the man in the .otany IGG suit said. His name was John 1ayo. &The guy&s a stringer. He works for 'IA as well as us.& &Just an ordinary whore,& the third man said, and all three of them laughed in a nervous, keyed u( way. They knew they were close/ they could almost smell $lood. The name of the third man was 3rville Jamieson, $ut he (referred to $e called 3J, or even $etter, The Juice. He signed all his office memos 3J. He had signed one The Juice and that $astard a( had given him a re(rimand. !ot +ust an oral one/ a written one that had gone in his record. &"ou think it&s the !orthway, huh)& 3J asked. !orville .ates shrugged. &4ither the !orthway or they headed into Al$any,& he said. &I gave the local yokel the hotels in town $ecause it&s his town, right)& &8ight,& John 1ayo said. He and !orville got along well together. They went $ack a long way. All the way $ack to 8oom KG of Jason 2earneigh Hall, and that, my friend, should anyone ever ask you had $een hairy. John never wanted to go through anything that hairy again. He had $een the man who =a((ed the kid who went into cardiac arrest. He had $een a medic during the early days in !am and he knew what to do with the defi$rillator * in theory, at least. In (ractice, it hadn&t gone so well, and the kid had got away from them. Twelve kids got Lot Si- that day. Two of them had died * the kid who had gone into cardiac arrest and a girl who died si- days later in her dorm, a((arently of a sudden $rain em$olism. Two others had gone ho(elessly insane * one of them the $oy who had $linded himself, the other a girl who later develo(ed a total (aralysis from the neck down. Wanless had said that was (sychological, $ut who the fuck knew) It had $een a nice day&s work, all right. &The local yokel is taking his wife along,& !orville was saying. &She&s looking for her granddaughter. Her son ran away with the little girl. !asty divorce case, all of that. She doesn&t want to notify the (olice unless she has to, $ut she&s afraid the son might $e going mental. If she (lays it right, there isn&t a night clerk in town that won&t tell her if the two of them have checked in.& &If she (lays it right,& 3J said. &With these stringers you can never tell.& John said, &We&re going to the closest on*ram(, right)& &8ight,& !orville said. &Just three, four minutes now.& &Have they had enough time to get down there)& &They have if they were $usting ass. 1ay$e we&ll $e a$le to (ick them u( trying to.thum$ a ride right there on the ram(. 3r may$e they took a shortcut and went over the side into the $reakdown lane. 4ither way, all we have to do is cruise along until we come
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to them.& &Where you headed, $uddy, ho( in,& The Juice said, and laughed. There was a .HIK 1agnum in a shoulder holster under his left arm. He called it The Windsucker. &If they already hooked them a ride, we&re shit out of luck, !orv,& John said. !orville shrugged. &,ercentage (lay. It&s 5uarter (ast one in the morning. With the rationing, traffic&s thinner than ever. What&s 1r. .usinessman going to think if he sees a $ig guy and a little girl trying to hitch a ride)& &He&s gonna think it&s $ad news,& John said. &That&s a $ig ten*four.& The Juice laughed again. >( ahead the sto(*and*go light that marked the !orthway ram( gleamed in the dark. 3J (ut his hand on the walnut stock of The Windsucker. Just in case. %C The van (assed them $y, $ackwashing cool air . . . and then its $rakelights flashed $righter and it swerved over into the $reakdown lane a$out fifty yards farther u(. &Thank 2od,& Andy said softly. &"ou let me do the talking, harlie.& &All right, 'addy.& She sounded a(athetic. The dark circles were $ack under her eyes. The van was $acking u( as they walked toward it. Andy&s head felt like a slowly swelling lead $alloon. There was a vision from the Thousand and 3ne !ights (ainted on the side * cali(hs, maidens hiding under gau=y masks, a car(et floating mystically in the air. The car(et was undou$tedly meant to $e red, $ut in the light of turn(ike sodiums it was the dark maroon of drying $lood. Andy o(ened the (assenger door and $oosted harlie u( and in. He followed her. &Thanks, mister,& he said. &Saved our lives.& &1y (leasure,& the driver said. &Hi, little stranger.& &Hi,& harlie said in a small voice. The driver checked the outside mirror, drove down the $reakdown lane at a steadily increasing (ace, and then crossed into the travel lane. 2lancing (ast harlie&s slightly $owed head, Andy felt a touch of guilt; the driver was e-actly the sort of young man Andy himself always (assed $y when he saw him standing on the shoulder with his thum$ out. .ig $ut lean, he wore a heavy $lack $eard that curled down to his chest and a $ig felt hat that looked like a (ro( in a movie a$out feudin 0entucky hill$illies. A cigarette that looked home rolled was cocked in the corner of his mouth, curling u( smoke. Just a cigarette, $y the smell/ no sweet odor of canna$is. &Where you headed, my man)& the driver asked. &Two towns u( the line,& Andy said. &Hastings 2len)& &That&s right.& The driver nodded. &3n the run from someone, I guess.& harlie tensed and Andy (ut a soothing hand on her $ack and ru$$ed gently until she.loosened u( again. He had detected no menace in the driver&s voice. &There was a (rocess server at the air(ort,& he said. The driver grinned * it was almost hidden $eneath his fierce $eard * (lucked the cigarette from his mouth, and offered it delicately to the wind sucking +ust outside his half*o(en vent window. The sli(stream gul(ed it down. &Something to do with the little stranger here is my guess,& he said. &!ot far wrong,& Andy said. The driver fell silent. Andy settled $ack and tried to co(e with his headache. It seemed to have leveled off at a final screaming (itch. Had it ever $een this $ad $efore) Im(ossi$le to tell. 4ach time he overdid it, it seemed like the worst ever. It would $e a month $efore he dared use the (ush again. He knew that two towns u( the line was not nearly far enough, $ut it was all he could manage tonight. He was ti((ed over. Hastings 2len would have to do. &Who do you (ick, man)& the driver asked him. &Huh)& &The Series. The San 'iego ,adres in the World Series * how do you figure that)& &,retty far out,& Andy agreed. His voice came from far away, a tolling undersea $ell. &"ou okay, man) "ou look (ale.& &Headache,& Andy said. &1igraine.& &Too much (ressure,& the driver said. &I can dig it. "ou staying at a hotel) "ou need some cash) I could let you have five. Wish it was more, $ut I&m on my way to alifornia, and I got to watch it careful. Just like the Joads in The 2ra(es of Wrath.& Andy smiled gratefully. &I think we&re okay.& &6ine.& He glanced at harlie, who had do=ed off; &,retty little girl, my man. Are you watching out for her)& &As $est I can,& Andy said. &All right,& the driver said. &That&s the name of that tune.& ?G Hastings 2len was little more than a wide (lace in the road/ at this hour all the traffic lights in town had turned to $linkers. The $earded driver in the hill$illy hat took them u( the e-it ram(, through the slee(ing town, and down 8oute BG to the Slum$erland 1otel, a redwood (lace with the skeletal remains of a harvested cornfield in $ack and a (inkish* red neon sign out front that stuttered the nonword <A A " into the dark. As her slee( dee(ened, harlie had tilted farther and farther to the left, until her head was resting on the driver&s $lue*+eaned thigh. Andy had offered to shift her, and the driver shook his head. &She&s fine, man. Let her slee(.& &Would you mind dro((ing us off a little $it (ast)& Andy asked. It was hard to think, $ut
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this caution came almost intuitively. &'on&t want the night man to know you don&t have a car)& The driver smiled. &Sure, man. .ut a (lace like that, they wouldn&t give a s5uirt if you (edaled in on a unicycle.& The van&s tires crunched the gravel shoulder. &"ou (ositive you couldn&t use five)& &I guess I could,& Andy said reluctantly. &Would you write down your address for me).I&ll mail it $ack to you.& The driver&s grin rea((eared. &1y address is Ein transit,&& he said, getting out his wallet. &.ut you may see my ha((y smiling face again, right) Who knows. 2ra$ onto A$e, man.& He handed the five to Andy and suddenly Andy was crying * not a lot, $ut crying. &!o, man,& the driver said kindly. He touched the $ack of Andy&s neck lightly. &Life is short and (ain is long and we were all (ut on this earth to hel( each other. The comic*$ook (hiloso(hy of Jim ,aulson in a nutshell. Take good care of the little stranger.& &Sure,& Andy said, $rushing his eyes. He (ut the five*dollar $ill in the (ocket of his corduroy coat. & harlie) Hon) Wake u(. Just a little $it longer now.& ?% Three minutes later harlie was leaning slee(ily against him while he watched Jim ,aulson go u( the road to a closed restaurant, turn around, and then head $ack (ast them toward the Interstate. Andy raised his hand. ,aulson raised his in return. 3ld 6ord van with the Ara$ian !ights on the side, +inns and grand vi=iers and a mystic, floating car(et. Ho(e alifornia&s good to you, guy, Andy thought, and then the two of them walked $ack toward the Slum$erland 1otel. &I want you to wait for me outside and out of sight,& Andy said. &3kay)& &3kay, 'addy.& <ery slee(y. He left her $y an evergreen shru$ and walked over to the office and rang the night $ell. After a$out two minutes, a middle*aged man in a $athro$e a((eared, (olishing his glasses. He o(ened the door and let Andy in without a word. &I wonder if I could have the unit down on the end of the left wing,& Andy said. &I (arked there.& &This time of year, you could have all of the west wing if you wanted it,& the night man said, and smiled around a mouthful of yellow dentures. He gave Andy a (rinted indecard and a (en advertising $usiness su((lies. A car (assed $y outside, silent headlights that wa-ed and waned. Andy signed the card .ruce 8o=elle. .ruce was driving a %CKA <ega, !ew "ork license L1S ?BG. He looked at the $lank marked 382A!IJATI3!# 31,A!" for a moment, and then, in a flash of ins(iration 9as much as his aching head would allow:, he wrote >nited <ending om(any of America. And checked ASH under form of (ayment. Another car went $y out front. The clerk initialed the card and tucked it away. &That&s seventeen dollars and fifty cents.& &'o you mind change)& Andy asked. &I never did get a chance to cash u(, and I&m dragging around twenty (ounds of silver. I hate these country milk runs.& &S(ends +ust as easy I don&t mind.& &Thanks.& Andy reached into his coat (ocket, (ushed aside the five*dollar $ill with his fingers, and $rought out a fistful of 5uarters, nickels, and dimes. He counted out fourteen dollars, $rought out some more change, and made u( the rest. The clerk had $een se(arating the coins into neat (iles and now he swe(t them into the correct com(artments.of the cash drawer. &"ou know,& he said, closing the drawer and looking at Andy ho(efully, &I&d knock five $ucks off your room $ill if you could fi- my cigarette machine. It&s $een out of order for a week.& harlie walked over to the machine, which stood in the corner, (retended to look at it, and then walked $ack. &!ot our $rand,& he said. &3h. Shit. 3kay. 2oodnight, $uddy. "ou&ll find an e-tra $lanket on the closet shelf if you should want it.& &6ine.& He went out. The gravel crunched $eneath his feet, hideously am(lified in his ears, sounding like stone cereal. He walked over to the evergreen shru$ where he had left harlie and harlie wasn&t there. & harlie)& !o answer. He switched the room key on its long green (lastic ta$ from one hand to the other. .oth hands were suddenly sweaty. & harlie)& Still no answer. He thought $ack and now it seemed to him that the car that had gone (ast when he had $een filling out the registration card had $een slowing down. 1ay$e it had $een a green car. His heart$eat $egan to (ick u(, sending +olts of (ain u( to his skull. He tried to think what he should do if harlie was gone, $ut he couldn&t think. His head hurt too $adly. He * There was a low, snorting, snoring sound from dee(er $ack in the $ushes. A sound he knew very well. He lea(ed toward it, gravel s(urting out from under his shoes. Stiff& evergreen $ranches scra(ed his legs and raked $ack the tails of his corduroy +acket. harlie was lying on her side on the verge of the motel lawn, knees drawn u( nearly to her chin, hands $etween them. 6ast aslee(. Andy stood with his eyes closed for a moment and then shook her awake for what he ho(ed would $e the last time that night. That long, long night. Her eyelids fluttered, and then she was looking u( at him. &'addy)& she asked, her voice was $lurred, still half in her dreams. &I got out of sight like you said.& &I know, honey,& he said. &I know you did. ome on. We&re going to $ed.& ??
21
Twenty minutes later they were $oth in the dou$le $ed of >nit %D, harlie fast aslee( and $reathing evenly, Andy still awake $ut drifting toward slee(, only the steady thum( in his head still holding him u(. And the 5uestions. They had $een on the run for a$out a year. It was almost im(ossi$le to $elieve, may$e $ecause it hadn&t seemed so much like running, not when they had $een in ,ort ity, ,ennsylvania, running the Weight*3ff (rogram. harlie had gone to school in ,ort ity, and how could you $e on the run if you were holding a +o$ and your daughter was going to first grade) They had almost $een caught in ,ort ity, not $ecause they had $een (articularly good 9although they were terri$ly dogged, and that frightened Andy a lot: $ut $ecause Andy had made that crucial la(se * he had allowed himself tem(orarily to.forget they were fugitives. !o chance of that now. How close were they) Still $ack in !ew "ork) If only he could $elieve that * they hadn&t got the ca$$y&s num$er/ they were still tracking him down. 1ore likely they were in Al$any, crawling over the air(ort like maggots over a (ile of meat scra(s. Hastings 2len) 1ay$e $y morning. .ut may$e not. Hastings 2len was fifteen miles from the air(ort. !o need to let (aranoia swee( away good sense. I deserve it7 I deserve to go in front of the cars for setting that man on fire7 His own voice re(lying; It could have $een worse. It could have $een his face. <oices in a haunted room. Something else came to him. He was su((osed to $e driving a <ega. When morning came and the night man didn&t see a <ega (arked in front of >nit %D, would he +ust assume his >nited <ending om(any man had (ushed on) 3r would he investigate) !othing he could do a$out it now. He was totally wasted. I thought there was something funny a$out him. He looked (ale, sick. And he (aid with change. He said he worked for a vending*machine com(any, $ut he couldn&t fi- the cigarette machine in the lo$$y. <oices in a haunted room. He shifted onto his side, listening to harlie&s slow, even $reathing. He thought they had taken her, $ut she&d only gone farther $ack in the $ushes. 3ut of sight. harlene !orma 1c2ee, harlie since . . . well, since forever. If they took you, harlie, I don&t know what I&d do. ?H 3ne last voice, his roommate @uincey&s voice, from si- years ago. harlie had $een a year old then, and of course they knew she wasn&t normal. They had known that since she was a week old and <icky had $rought her into their $ed with them $ecause when she was left in the little cri$, the (illow $egan to . . . well, $egan to smolder. The night they had (ut the cri$ away forever, not s(eaking in their fright, a fright too $ig and too strange to $e articulated, it had got hot enough to $lister her cheek and she had screamed most of the night, in s(ite of the Solarcaine Andy had found in the medicine chest. What a cra=yhouse that first year had $een, no slee(, endless fear. 6ires in the waste$askets when her $ottles were late/ once the curtains had $urst into flame, and if <icky hadn&t $een in the room * It was her fall down the stairs that had finally (rom(ted him to call @uincey. She had $een crawling then, and was 5uite good at going u( the stairs on her hands and knees and then $acking down again the same way. Andy had $een sitting with her that day/ <icky was out at Senter&s with one of her friends, sho((ing. She had $een hesitant a$out going, and Andy nearly had to throw her out the door. She was looking too used lately, too tired. There was something starey in her eyes that made him think a$out those com$at * fatigue stories you heard during wartime. He had $een reading in the living room, near the foot of the stairs. harlie was going u( and down. Sitting on the stairs was a teddy $ear. He should have moved it, of course, $ut each time she went u(, harlie went around it, and he had $ecome lulled * much as.he had $ecome lulled $y what a((eared to $e their normal life in ,ort ity. As she came down the third time, her feet got tangled around the $ear and she came all the way to the $ottom, thum(, $um(, and tum$le, wailing with rage and fear. The stairs were car(eted and she didn&t even have a $ruise * 2od watches over drunks and small children, that had $een @uincey&s saying, and that was his first conscious thought of @uincey that day * $ut Andy rushed to her, (icked her u(, held her, cooed a lot of nonsense to her while he gave her the 5uick once*over, looking for $lood, or a lim$ hanging wrong, signs of concussion. And * And he felt it (ass him * the invisi$le, incredi$le $olt of death from his daughter&s mind. It felt like the $ackwash of warm air from a high$alling su$way train, when it&s summertime and you&re standing may$e a little too close on the (latform. A soft, soundless (assage of warm air . . . and then the teddy $ear was on fire. Teddy had hurt harlie/ harlie would hurt Teddy. The flames roared u(, and for a moment, as it charred, Andy was looking at its $lack shoe$utton eyes through a sheet of flame, and the flames were s(reading to the car(eting on the stair where the $ear had tum$led. Andy (ut his daughter down and ran for the fire e-tinguisher on the wall near the T<. He and <icky didn&t talk a$out the thing their daughter could do * there were times when Andy wanted to, $ut <icky wouldn&t hear of it/ she avoided the su$+ect with hysterical stu$$ornness, saying there was nothing wrong with harlie, nothing wrong * $ut fire e-tinguishers had a((eared silently, undiscussed, with almost the same stealth as dandelions a((ear during that (eriod when s(ring and summer overla(. They didn&t talk a$out what harlie could do, $ut there were fire e-tinguishers all over the house. He gra$$ed this one, smelling the heavy aroma of frying car(et, and dashed for the stairs . . . and still there was time to think a$out that story, the one he had read as a kid, &It&s a 2ood Life,& $y some guy named Jerome .i-$y, and that had $een a$out a little kid who had enslaved his (arents with (sychic terror, a nightmare of a thousand (ossi$le deaths, and you never knew . . . you never knew when the little kid was going to get mad
22
... harlie was wailing, sitting on her $utt at the foot of the stairs. Andy twisted the kno$ on the fire e-tinguisher savagely and s(rayed foam on the s(reading fire, dousing it. He (icked u( Teddy, his fur sti((led with dots and (uffs and dollo(s of foam, and carried him $ack downstairs. Hating himself, yet knowing in some (rimitive way that it had to $e done, the line had to $e drawn, the lesson learned, he +ammed the $ear almost into harlie&s screaming, frightened, tear*streaked face. 3h you dirty $astard, he had thought des(erately, why don&t you +ust go out to the kitchen and get a (aring knife and cut a line u( each cheek) 1ark her that way) And his mind had sei=ed on that. Scars. "es. That&s what he had to do. Scar his child. .urn a scar on her soul. &'o you like the way Teddy looks)& he roared. The $ear was scalded, the $ear was $lackened, and in his hand it was still as warm as a cooling lum( of charcoal. &'o you like Teddy to $e all $urned so you can&t (lay with him anymore, harlie)& harlie was crying in great, $raying whoo(s, her skin all red fever and (ale death, her eyes swimming with tears. &'aaaaa7 Ted7 Ted7& &"es, Teddy,& he said grimly. &Teddy&s all $urned, harlie. "ou $urned Teddy. And if you $urn Teddy, you might $urn 1ommy. 'addy. !ow . . . don&t you do it anymore7& He leaned closer to her, not (icking her u( yet, not touching her. &'on&t you do it anymore.$ecause it is a .ad Thing7& &'aaaaaaaaaa * & And that was all the heart$reak he could stand to inflict, all the horror, all the fear. He (icked her u(, held her, walked her $ack and forth until * a very long time later * her so$s ta(ered off to irregular hitchings of her chest, and sniffles. When he looked at her, she was aslee( with her cheek on his shoulder. He (ut her on the couch and went to the (hone in the kitchen and called @uincey. @uincey didn&t want to talk. He was working for a large aircraft cor(oration in that year of %CKI, and in the notes that accom(anied each of his yearly hristmas cards to the 1c2ees he descri$ed his +o$ as <ice*,resident in harge of Stroking. When the men who made the air(lanes had (ro$lems, they were su((osed to go see @uincey. @uincey would hel( them with their (ro$lems * feelings of alienation, identity crises, may$e +ust a feeling that their +o$s were dehumani=ing them * and they wouldn&t go $ack to the line and (ut the widget where the wadget was su((osed to go and therefore the (lanes wouldn&t crash and the world would continue to $e safe for democracy. 6or this @uincey made thirty*two thousand dollars a year, seventeen thousand more than Andy made. &And I don&t feel a $it guilty,& he had written. &I consider it a small salary to e-tract for kee(ing America afloat almost single*handed.& That was @uincey, as sardonically funny as ever. 4-ce(t he hadn&t $een sardonic and he hadn&t $een funny that day when Andy called from 3hio with his daughter slee(ing on the couch and the smell of $urned $ear and singed car(eting in his nostrils; &I&ve heard things,& @uincey said finally, when he saw that Andy wasn&t going to let him off without something. &.ut sometimes (eo(le listen in on (hones, old $uddy. It&s the era of Watergate.& &I&m scared,& Andy said. &<icky&s scared. And harlie&s scared too. What have you heard, @uincey)& &3nce u(on a time there was an e-(eriment in which twelve (eo(le (artici(ated,& @uincey said. &A$out si- years ago. 'o you remem$er that)& &I remem$er it,& Andy said grimly. &There aren&t many of those twelve (eo(le left. There were four, the last I heard. And two of them married each other.& &"es,& Andy said, $ut inside he felt growing horror. 3nly four left) What was @uincey talking a$out) &I understand one of them can $end keys and shut doors without even touching them.& @uincey&s voice, thin, coming across two thousand miles of tele(hone ca$le, coming through switching stations, through the o(en*relay (oints, through +unction $o-es in !evada, Idaho, olorado, Iowa. A million (laces to ta( into @uincey&s voice. &"es)& he said, straining to kee( his voice level. And he thought of <icky, who could sometimes turn on the radio or turn off the T< without going anywhere near it * and <icky was a((arently not even aware she was doing those things. &3h yes, he&s for real,& @uincey was saying. &He&s * what would you say) * a documented case; It hurts his head if he does those things too often, $ut he can do them. They kee( him in a little room with a door he can&t o(en and a lock he can&t $end. They do tests on him. He $ends keys. He shuts doors. And I understand he&s nearly cra=y.& &3h . . . my . . . 2od,& Andy said faintly. &He&s (art of the (eace effort, so it&s all right if he goes cra=y,& @uincey went on. &He&s.going cra=y so two hundred and twenty million Americans can stay safe and free. 'o you understand)& &"es,& Andy had whis(ered. &What a$out the two (eo(le who got married) !othing. So far as they know. They live 5uietly, in some 5uiet middle*American state like 3hio. There&s may$e a yearly check on them. Just to see if they&re doing anything like $ending keys or closing doors without touching them or doing funny little mentalist routines at the local .ackyard arnival for 1uscular 'ystro(hy. 2ood thing those (eo(le can&t do anything like that, isn&t it, Andy)& Andy closed his eyes and smelled $urned cloth. Sometimes harlie would (ull o(en the fridge door, look in, and then crawl off again. And if <icky was ironing, she would glance at the fridge door and it would swing shut again * all without her $eing aware that she was doing anything strange. That was sometimes. At other times it didn&t seem to work, and she would leave her ironing and close the refrigerator door herself 9or turn off the radio, or turn on the T<:. <icky couldn&t $end keys or read thoughts or fly or start fires or (redict the future. She could sometimes shut a door from across the room and that
23
was a$out the e-tent of it. Sometimes, after she had done several of these things, Andy had noticed that she would com(lain of a headache or an u(set stomach, and whether that was a (hysical reaction or some sort of muttered warning from her su$conscious, Andy didn&t know. Her a$ility to do these things got may$e a little stronger around the time of her (eriod. Such small things, and so infre5uently, that Andy had come to think of them as normal. As for himself . . . well he could (ush (eo(le. There was no real name for it/ (erha(s autohy(nosis came closest. And he couldn&t do it often, $ecause it gave him headaches. 1ost days he could forget com(letely that he wasn&t utterly normal and never really had $een since that day in 8oom KG of Jason 2earneigh. He closed his eyes and on the dark field inside his eyelids he saw that comma*sha(ed $loodstain and the nonwords 38 3S>1. &"es, it&s a good thing,& @uincey went on, as if Andy had agreed. &3r they might (ut them * in two little rooms where they could work full * time to kee( two hundred and twenty million Americans safe and free.& &A good thing,& Andy agreed. &Those twelve (eo(le,& @uincey said, &may$e they gave those twelve (eo(le a drug they didn&t fully understand. It might have $een that someone * a certain 1ad 'octor * might have deli$erately misled them. 3r may$e he thought he was misleading them and they were deli$erately leading him on. It doesn&t matter.& &!o.& &So this drug was given to them and may$e it changed their chromosomes a little $it. 3r a lot. 3r who knows. And may$e two of them got married and decided to have a $a$y and may$e the $a$y got something more than her eyes and his mouth. Wouldn&t they $e interested in that child)& &I $et they would,& Andy said, now so frightened he was having trou$le talking at all. He had already decided that he would not tell <icky a$out calling @uincey. &It&s like you got lemon, and that&s nice, and you got meringue, and that&s nice, too, $ut when you (ut them together, you&ve got . . . a whole new taste treat. I $et they&d want to see +ust what that child could do. They might +ust want to take it and (ut it in a little room and see if it could hel( make the world safe for democracy. And I think that&s all I want to say, old $uddy, e-ce(t . . . kee( your head down.&.?B <oices in a haunted room. 0ee( your head down. He turned his head on the motel (illow and looked at harlie, who was slee(ing dee(ly. harlie kid, what are we going to do) Where can we go and $e left alone) How is this going to end) !o answer to any of these 5uestions. And at last he sle(t, while not so far away a green car cruised through the dark, still ho(ing to come u(on a $ig man with $road shoulders in a corduroy +acket and a little girl with $lond hair in red (ants and a green $louse..Longmont, <irginia; The Sho( % Two handsome Southern (lantation homes faced each other across a long and rolling grass lawn that was crisscrossed $y a few gracefully loo(ing $ike (aths and a two*lane crushed * gravel drive that came over the hill from the main road. 3ff to one side of one of these houses was a large $arn, (ainted a $right red and trimmed a s(otless white. !ear the other was a long sta$le, done in the same handsome red with white trim. Some of the $est horseflesh in the South was 5uartered here. .etween the $arn and the sta$le was a wide, shallow duck(ond, calmly reflecting the sky. In the %ADGs, the original owners of these two homes had gone off and got themselves killed in the war, and all survivors of $oth families were dead now. The two estates had $een consolidated into one (iece of government (ro(erty in %CIB. It was Sho( head5uarters. At ten minutes (ast nine on, a sunny 3cto$er day * the day after Andy and harlie left !ew "ork, for Al$any in a ta-ica$ * an elderly man with kindly, s(arkling eyes and wearing a woolen .ritish driving ca( on his head $iked toward one of the houses. .ehind him, over the second knoll, was the check(oint he had come through after a com(uter I' system had okayed his thum$(rint. The check(oint was inside a dou$le run of $ar$ed wire. The outer run, seven feet high, was marked every si-ty feet $y signs that read A>TI3!7 23<48!14!T ,83,48T" L3W 4L4 T8I HA824 8>!S TH83>2H THIS 64! 47 'uring the day, the charge was indeed low. At night, the on*(ro(erty generator $oosted it to a lethal voltage, and each morning a s5uad of five groundskee(ers circled it in little electric golf carts, (icking u( the $odies of cris(ed ra$$its, moles, $irds, groundhogs, an occasional skunk lying in a (ool of smell, sometimes a deer. And twice, human $eings, e5ually cooked. The s(ace $etween the outer and inner runs of $ar$ed wire was ten feet. 'ay and night, guard dogs circled the installation in this run. The guard dogs were 'o$ermans, and they had $een trained to stay away from the electrified wire. At each corner of the installation there were guard towers, also $uilt of s(anking*red $arn$oard and trimmed in white. They were manned $y (ersonnel who were e-(ert in the use of various items of death*dealing hardware. The whole (lace was monitored $y T< cameras, and the views these various cameras (resented were constantly scanned $y com(uter. The Longmont facility was secure. The elderly man $iked on, with a smile for the (eo(le he (assed. An old, $aldheaded man in a $ase$all ca( was walking a thin*ankled filly. He raised his hand and called, &Hi, a(7 Ain&t this some kind of a day7& &0nock your eye out,& the man on the $ike agreed. &Have a good one, Henry.& He reached the front of the northernmost of the two homes, dismounted his $ike, and (ut down its kickstand. He $reathed dee(ly of the mild morning air, then trotted s(ryly u( the wide (orch ste(s and $etween the $road 'oric columns.
24
He o(ened the door and ste((ed into the wide receiving hall. A young woman with red hair sat $ehind a desk, a statistics*analysis $ook o(en in front of her. 3ne hand was holding her (lace in the $ook. The other was in her desk drawer, lightly touching a .HA.Smith M Wesson. &2ood morning, Josie,& the elderly gent said. &Hi, a(. "ou&re running a little $ehind, aren&t you)& ,retty girls could get away with this/ if it had $een 'uane&s day on the front desk, he could not have done. a( was not a su((orter of women&s li$eration. &1y to( gear&s sticking, darlin.& He (ut his thum$ in the (ro(er slot. Something in the console thudded heavily, and a green light fluttered and then remained steady on Josie&s $oard. &"ou $e good, now.& &Well, I&ll $e careful,& she said archly, and crossed her legs. a( roared laughter and walked down the hall. She watched him go, wondering for a moment if she should have told him that cree(y old man Wanless had come in some twenty minutes ago. He&d know soon enough, she su((osed, and sighed. What a way to screw u( the start of a (erfectly fine day, having to talk to an old s(ook like that. .ut she su((osed that a (erson like a(, who held a (osition of great res(onsi$ility, had to take the sour with the sweet. ? a(&s office was at the $ack of the house. A large $ay window gave a magnificent view of the $ack lawn, the $arn, and the duck(ond, which was (artially screened with alders. 8ich 1c0eon was halfway down the lawn, sitting astride a miniature tractor*lawnmower. a( stood looking at him with his arms crossed $ehind his $ack for a moment and then went over to the 1r. offee in the corner. He (oured some coffee in his >.S.!. cu(, added remora and then sat down and thum$ed the intercom. &Hi, 8achel,& he said. &Hello, a(. 'r. Wanless is * & &I knew it,& a( said, &I knew it. I could smell that old whore the minute I came in.& &Shall I tell him you&re +ust too $usy today)& &'on&t tell him any such thing,& a( said stoutly. &Just let him sit out there in the yellow (arlor the whole frigging morning. If he doesn&t decide to go home, I su((ose I can see him $efore lunch.& &All right, sir.& ,ro$lem solved * for 8achel, anyway, a( thought with a touch of resentment. Wanless wasn&t really her (ro$lem at all. And the fact was, Wanless was getting to $e an em$arrassment. He had outlived $oth his usefulness and his influence. Well, there was always the 1aui com(ound. And then there was 8ain$ird. a( felt a little inward shudder at that . . . and he wasn&t a man who shuddered easily. He held down the intercom toggle again. &I&ll want the entire 1c2ee file again, 8achel. And at ten*thirty I want to see Al Steinowit=. If Wanless is still here when I finish with Al, you can send him in.& &<ery good, a(.& a( sat $ack, stee(led his fingers, and looked across the room at the (icture of 2eorge ,atton on the wall. ,atton was standing astride the to( hatch of a tank as if he thought he were 'uke Wayne or someone. &It&s a hard life if you don&t weaken,& he told ,atton&s image, and si((ed his coffee..H 8achel $rought the file in on a whis(er*wheeled li$rary cart ten minutes later. There were si- $o-es of (a(ers and re(orts, four $o-es of (hotogra(hs. There were tele(hone transcri(ts as well. The 1c2ee (hone had $een $ugged since %CKA. &Thanks, 8achel.& &"ou&re welcome. 1r. Steinowit= will $e here at ten*thirty.& &3f course he will. Has Wanless died yet)& &I&m afraid not,& she said, smiling. &He&s +ust sitting out there and watching Henry walk the horses.& &Shredding his goddam cigarettes)& 8achel covered her mouth like a schoolgirl, giggled, and nodded. &He&s gone through half a (ack already.& a( grunted. 8achel left and he turned to the files. He had $een through them how many times in the last eleven months) A do=en) Two do=en) He had the e-tracta nearly $y heart. And if Al was right, he would have the two remaining 1c2ees under detection $y the end of the week. The thought caused a hot little trickle of e-citement in his $elly. He $egan leafing through the 1c2ee file at random, (ulling a sheet here, reading a snatch there. It was his way of (lugging $ack into the situation. His conscious mind was in neutral, his su$conscious in high gear. What he wanted now was not detail $ut to (ut his hand to the whole thing. As $ase$all (layers say, he needed to find the handle. Here was a memo from Wanless himself, a younger Wanless 9ah, $ut they had all $een young then:, dated Se(tem$er %?, %CDA. Half a (aragra(h caught a(&s eye; . . . of an enormous im(ortance in the continuing study of controlla$le (sychic (henomena. 6urther testing on animals would $e counter(roductive 9see overleaf %: and, as I em(hasi=ed at the grou( meeting this summer, testing on convicts or any deviant (ersonality might lead to very real (ro$lems if Lot Si- is even fractionally as (owerful as we sus(ect 9see overleaf ?:. I therefore continue to recommend . . . "ou continue to recommend that we feed it to controlled grou(s of college students under all outstanding contingency (lans for failure, a( thought. There had $een no waffling on Wanless&s (art in those days. !o indeed. His motto in those days had $een full s(eed ahead and devil take the hindmost. Twelve (eo(le had $een tested. Two of them had died, one during the test, one shortly afterward. Two had gone ho(elessly insane, and $oth of them were maimed * one $lind, one suffering from (sychotic (aralysis, $oth of them confined at the 1aui com(ound, where they would remain until their misera$le lives ended. So then there were eight. 3ne of them had died in a car accident in %CK?, a car accident that was almost certainly no accident at all $ut suicide.
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Another had lea(ed from the roof of the leveland ,ost 3ffice in %CKH, and there was no 5uestion at all a$out that one/ he had left a note saying he &couldn&t stand the (ictures in his head any longer.& The leveland (olice had diagnosed it as suicidal de(ression and (aranoia. a( and the Sho( had diagnosed it as lethal Lot Si- hangover. And that had left si-. Three others had committed suicide $etween %CKB and %CKK, for a known total of four suicides and a (ro$a$le total of five. Almost half the class, you might say. All four of the.definite suicides had seemed (erfectly normal right u( to the time they had used the gun, or the ro(e, or +um(ed from the high (lace. .ut who knew what they might have $een going through) Who really knew) So then there were three. Since %CKK, when the long*dormant Lot Si- (ro+ect had suddenly got red hot again, a fellow named James 8ichardson, who now lived in Los Angeles, had $een under constant covert surveillance. In %CDC he had taken (art in the Lot Si- e-(eriment, and during the course of the drug&s influence, he had demonstrated the same startling range of talents as the rest of them; telekinesis, thought transference, and may$e the most interesting manifestation of all, at least from the Sho(&s s(eciali=ed (oint of view; mental domination. .ut as had ha((ened with the others, James 8ichardson&s drug*induced (owers seemed to have disa((eared com(letely with the wearing off of the drug. 6ollow*u( interviews in %CK%, %CKH, and %CKI had shown nothing. 4ven Wanless had had to admit that, and he was a fanatic on the su$+ect of Lot Si-. Steady com(uter readouts on a random $asis 9and they were a lot less random since the 1c2ee thing had started to ha((en: had shown no indication at all that 8ichardson was using any sort of (si (ower, either consciously or unconsciously. He had graduated in %CK%, drifted west through a series of lower*echelon managerial +o$s * no mental domination there * and now worked for the Telemyne or(oration. Also, he was a fucking faggot. a( sighed. They were continuing to kee( an eye on 8ichardson, $ut a( had $een (ersonally convinced that the man was a washout. And that left two, Andy 1c2ee and his wife. The serendi(ity of their marriage had not $een lost on the Sho(, or on Wanless, who had $egun to $om$ard the office with memos, suggesting that any offs(ring of that marriage would $ear close watching * counting his chickens $efore they had hatched, you could say * and on more than one occasion a( had toyed with the idea of telling Wanless they had learned Andy 1c2ee had had a vasectomy. That would have shut the old $astard u(. .y then Wanless had had his stroke and was effectively useless, really nothing $ut a nuisance. There had $een only the one Lot Si- e-(eriment. The results had $een so disastrous that the coveru( had $een massive and com(lete . . . and e-(ensive. The order came down from on high to im(ose an indefinite moratorium on further testing. Wanless had (lenty to scream a$out that day, a( thought . . . and scream he had. .ut there had $een no sign at all that the 8ussians or any other world (ower was interested in drug*induced (sionics, and the to( $rass had concluded that in s(ite of some (ositive results, Lot Siwas a $lind alley. Looking at the long * term results, one of the scientists who had worked on the (ro+ect com(ared it to dro((ing a +et engine into an old 6ord. It went like hell, all right . . . until it hit the first o$stacle. &2ive us another ten thousand years of evolution,& this fellow had said, &and we&ll try it again.& ,art of the (ro$lem had $een that when the drug*induced (si (owers were at their height, the test su$+ects had also $een tri((ing out of their skulls. !o control was (ossi$le. And coming out the other side, the to( $rass had $een nearly shitting their (ants. overing u( the death of an agent, or even of a $ystander to an o(eration * that was one thing. overing u( the death of a student who had suffered a heart attack, the disa((earance of two others, and lingering traces of hysteria and (aranoia in yet others *.that was a different matter altogether. All of them had friends and associates, even if one of the re5uirements $y which the test su$+ects had $een (icked was a scarcity of close relatives. The costs and the risks had $een enormous. They had involved nearly seven hundred thousand dollars in hush money and the sanction of at least one (erson * the godfather of the fellow, who had clawed his eyes out. The godfather +ust would not 5uit. He was going to get to the root of the matter. As it turned out, the only (lace the godfather had got was to the $ottom of the .altimore Trench, where he (resuma$ly still was, with two cement $locks tied around whatever remained of his legs. And still, a great deal of it * too damn much * had +ust $een luck. So the Lot Si- (ro+ect had $een shelved with a continuing yearly $udget allotment. The money was used to continue random surveillance on the survivors in case something turned u( * some (attern. 4ventually, one had. a( hunted through a folder of (hotogra(hs and came u( with an eight*$y*ten glossy $lack*and*white of the girl. It had $een taken three years ago, when she was four and attending the 6ree hildren&s !ursery School in Harrison. The (icture had $een taken with a tele(hoto lens from the $ack of a $akery van and later $lown u( and cro((ed to turn a (icture of a lot of $oys and girls at (laytime into a (ortrait of a smiling little girl with her (igtails flying and the (istol gri( of a +um(ro(e in each hand. a( looked at this (icture sentimentally for some time. Wanless, in the aftermath of his stroke, had discovered fear. Wanless now thought the little girl would have to $e sanctioned. And although Wanless was among the outs these days, there were those who concurred with his o(inion * those who were among the ins. a( ho(ed like hell that it wouldn&t come to that. He had three grandchildren himself, two of them +ust a$out harlene 1c2ee&s age. 3f course they would have to se(arate the girl from her father. ,ro$a$ly (ermanently.
26
And he would almost certainly have to $e sanctioned . . . after he had served his (ur(ose, of course. It was 5uarter (ast ten. He $u==ed 8achel. &Is Al$ert Steinowit= here yet)& &Just this minute arrived, sir.& &<ery good. Send him in, (lease.& B &I want you to take (ersonal charge of the endgame, Al.& &<ery good, a(.& Al$ert Steinowit= was a small man with a yellow (ale com(le-ion and very $lack hair/ in earlier years he had sometimes $een mistaken for the actor <ictor Jory. a( had worked with Steinowit= off and on for nearly eight years * in fact they had come over from the navy together * and to him A% had always looked like a man a$out to enter the hos(ital for a terminal stay. He smoked constantly, e-ce(t in here, where it wasn&t allowed. He walked with a slow, stately stride that invested him with a strange kind of dignity, and im(enetra$le dignity is a rare attri$ute in any man. a(, who saw all the medical records of Section 3ne agents, knew that Al$ert&s dignified walk was $ogus/ he suffered $adly from hemorrhoids and had $een o(erated on for them twice. He had.refused a third o(eration $ecause it might mean a colostomy $ag on his leg for the rest of his life. His dignified walk always made a( think of the fairy tale a$out the mermaid who wanted to $e a woman and the (rice she (aid for legs and feet. a( imagined that her walk had $een rather dignified, too. &How soon can you $e in Al$any)& he asked Al now. &An hour after I leave here.& &2ood. I won&t kee( you long. What&s the status u( there)& Al$ert folded his small, slightly yellow hands in his la(. &The state (olice are coo(erating nicely. All highways leading out of Al$any have $een road $locked. The $locks are set u( in concentric circles with Al$any ounty Air(ort at their center. 8adius of thirty*five miles.& &"ou&re assuming they didn&t hitch a ride.& &We have to,& Al$ert said. &If they hooked a ride with someone who took them two hundred miles or so, of course we&ll have to start all over again. .ut I&m $etting they&re inside that circle.& &3h) Why is that, Al$ert)& a( leaned forward. Al$ert Steinowit= was, without a dou$t, the $est agent, e-ce(t may$e for 8ain$ird, in the Sho(&s em(loy. He was $right, intuitive * and ruthless when the +o$ demanded that. &,artly hunch,& Al$ert said. &,artly the stuff& we got $ack from the com(uter when we fed in everything we knew a$out the last three years of Andrew 1c2ee&s life. We asked it to (ull out any and all (atterns that might a((ly to this a$ility he&s su((osed to have.& &He does have it, Al,& a( said gently. &That&s what makes this o(eration so damned delicate.& &All right, he has it,& Al said. &.ut the com(uter readouts suggest that his a$ility to use it is e-tremely limited. If he overuses it, it makes him sick.& &8ight. We&re counting on that.& &He was running a storefront o(eration in !ew "ork, a 'ale arnegie kind of thing.& a( nodded. onfidence Associates, an o(eration aimed mainly at timid e-ecutives. 4nough to kee( him and the girl in $read, milk, and meat, $ut not much more. &We&ve de$riefed his last grou(,& Al$ert Steinowit= said. &There were si-teen of them, and each of them (aid a s(lit tuition fee * one hundred dollars at enrollment, a hundred more halfway through the course, if they felt the course was hel(ing them. 3f course they all did.& a( nodded. 1c2ee&s talent was admira$ly suited for investing (eo(le with confidence. He literally (ushed them into it. &We fed their answers to several key 5uestions into the com(uter. The 5uestions were, did you feel $etter a$out yourself and the onfidence Associates course at s(ecific times) an you remem$er days at work following your onfidence Associates meetings when you felt like a tiger) Have you * & &6elt like a tiger)& a( asked. &Jesus, you asked them if they felt like tigers)& &The com(uter suggests the wording.& &3kay, go on.& &The third key 5uestion was, have you had any s(ecific, measura$le success at your +o$ since taking the onfidence Associates course) That was the 5uestion they could all res(ond to with the most o$+ectivity and relia$ility, $ecause (eo(le tend to remem$er the day they got the raise or the (at on the $ack from the $oss. They were eager to talk. I.found it a little s(ooky, a(. He sure did what he (romised. 3f the si-teen, eleven of them have had (romotions * eleven. 3f the other five, three are in +o$s where (romotions are made only at certain set times.& &!o one is arguing 1c2ee&s ca(a$ility,& a( said. &!ot anymore.& &3kay. I&m getting $ack around to the (oint here. It was a si-*week course. >sing the answers to the key 5uestions, the com(uter came u( with four s(ike dates . . . that is, days when 1c2ee (ro$a$ly su((lemented all the usual hi(*hi(*hooray*you*can*do*it*if*you*try stuff& with a good hard (ush. The dates we have are August seventeenth, Se(tem$er first , Se(tem$er nineteenth . . . and 3cto$er fourth.& &,roving)& &Well, he (ushed that ca$ driver last night. ,ushed him hard. That dude is still rocking and reeling. We figure Andy 1c2ee is ti((ed over. Sick. 1ay$e immo$ili=ed.& Al$ert looked at a( steadily. & om(uter gave us a twenty*si-*(ercent (ro$a$ility that he&s dead.& &What)& &Well, he&s overdone it $efore and wound u( in $ed. He&s doing something to his $rain .
27
. . 2od knows what. 2iving himself (in(rick hemorrhages, may$e. It could $e a (rogressive thing. The com(uter figures there&s slightly $etter than a one*in*four chance he&s dead, either of a heart attack or, more (ro$a$ly, a stroke.& &He had to use it $efore he was recharged,& a( said. Al$ert nodded and took something out of his (ocket. It was encased in lim( (lastic. He (assed it to a(, who looked at it and then (assed it $ack. &What&s that su((osed to mean)& he asked. &!ot that much,& A% said, looking at the $ill in its (lastic envelo(e meditatively. &Just what 1c2ee (aid his ca$ fare with.& &He went to Al$any from !ew "ork ity on a one*dollar $ill, huh)& a( took it $ack and looked at it with renewed interest. & a$ fares sure must $e . . . what the hell7& He dro((ed the (lastic encased $ill on his desk as if it were hot and sat $ack, $linking. &"ou too, huh)& Al said. &'id you see it)& & hrist, I don&t know what I saw,& a( said, and reached for the ceramic $o- where he ke(t his acid neutrali=ers. &6or +ust a second it didn&t look like a one*dollar $ill at all.& &.ut now it does)& a( (eered at the $ill. &It sure does. That&s 2eorge, all * hrist7& He sat $ack so violently this time that he almost ra((ed the $ack of his head on the dark wood (aneling $ehind his desk. He looked at Al. &The face . . . seemed to change for a second there. 2rew glasses, or something. Is it a trick)& &3h, it&s a hell of a good trick,& Al said, taking the $ill $ack. &I saw it as well, although I don&t anymore. I think I&ve ad+usted to it now . . . although I&ll $e damned if I know how. It&s not there, of course. It&s +ust some kind of cra=y hallucination. .ut I even made the face. It&s .en 6ranklin.& &"ou got this from the ca$ driver)& a( asked, looking at the $ill, fascinated, waiting for the change again. .ut it was only 2eorge Washington. Al laughed. &"eah,& he said. &We took the $ill and gave him a check for five hundred dollars. He&s $etter off, really.& &Why)& &.en 6ranklin isn&t on the five hundred, he&s on the hundred. A((arently 1c2ee didn&t.know.& &Let me see that again.& Al handed the one*dollar $ill $ack to a(, and a( stared fi-edly at it for almost a full two minutes. Just as he was a$out to hand it $ack, it flickered again * unsettling. .ut at least this time he felt that the flicker was definitely in his mind, and not in the $ill, or on it, or whatever. &I&ll tell you something else,& a( said. &I&m not sure, $ut I don&t think 6ranklin&s wearing glasses on his currency (ortrait, either. 3therwise, it&s . . .& He trailed off, not sure how to com(lete the thought. 2oddam weird came to mind, and he dismissed it. &"eah,& A% said. &Whatever it is, the effect is dissi(ating. This morning I showed it to may$e si- (eo(le. A cou(le of them thought they saw something, $ut not like that ca$ driver and the girl he lives with.& &So you&re figuring he (ushed too hard)& &"es. I dou$t if he could kee( going. They may have sle(t in the woods, or in an outlying motel. They may have $roken into a summer ca$in in the area. .ut I think they&re around and we&ll $e a$le to (ut the arm on them without too much trou$le.& &How many men do you need to do the +o$)& &We&ve got what we need,& A% said. & ounting the state (olice, there are $etter than seven hundred (eo(le in on this little house(arty. ,riority A*one*A. They&re going door to door and house to house. We&ve checked every hotel and motel in the immediate Al$any area already * $etter than forty of them. We&re s(reading into the neigh$ouring towns now. A man and a little girl . . . they stick out like a sore thum$. We&ll get them. 3r the girl, if he&s dead.& Al$ert stood u(. &And I think I ought to get on it. I&d like to $e there when it goes down.& &3f course you would. .ring them to me, Al.& &I will,& Al$ert said, and walked toward the door. &Al$ert)& He turned $ack, a small man with an unhealthy yellow com(le-ion. &Who is on the five hundred) 'id you check that out)& Al$ert Steinowit= smiled. &1c0inley,& he said. &He was assassinated.& He went out, closing the door gently $ehind him, leaving a( to consider. I Ten minutes later, a( thum$ed the intercom again. &Is 8ain$ird $ack from <enice yet, 8achel)& &As of yesterday,& 8achel said, and a( fancied he could hear the distaste even in 8achel&s carefully cultivated .oss Secretary tones. &Is he here or at Sani$el)& The Sho( maintained an 8*and*8 facility on Sani$el Island, 6lorida. There was a (ause as 8achel checked with the com(uter. &Longmont, a(. As of eighteen hundred yesterday. Slee(ing off the +et lag, (erha(s.& &Have someone wake him u(,& a( said. &I&d like to see him when Wanless leaves . . . always assuming Wanless is still here)& &As of fifteen minutes ago he was.&.&All right . . . let&s say 8ain$ird at noon.& &"es, sir.& &"ou&re a good girl, 8achel.& &Thank you, sir.& She sounded touched. a( liked her, liked her very much. &Send in 'r. Wanless (lease, 8achel.& He settled $ack, +oined his hands in front of him, and thought, 6or my sins. D 'r. Jose(h Wanless had suffered his stroke on the same day 8ichard !i-on announced
28
his resignation of the (residency * August A, %CKB. It had $een a cere$ral accident of moderate severity, and he had never come all the way $ack (hysically. !or mentally, in a(&s o(inion. It was only following the stroke that Wanless&s interest in the Lot Sie-(eriment and follow*u( had $ecome constant and o$sessive. He came into the room leaning over a cane, the light from the $ay window catching his round, rimless glasses and making them glare $lankly. His left hand was a drawnu( claw. The left side of his mouth drifted in a constant glacial sneer. 8achel looked at a( sym(athetically over Wanless&s shoulder and a( nodded that she could go. She did, closing the door 5uietly. &The good doctor,& a( said humorlessly. &How does it (rogress)& Wanless asked, sitting down with a grunt. & lassified,& a( said. &"ou know that, Joe. What can I do for you today.& &I have seen the activity around this (lace,& Wanless said, ignoring a(&s 5uestion. &What else had I to do while I cooled my heels all morning)& &If you come without an a((ointment * & &"ou think you nearly have them again,& Wanless said. &Why else that hatchet man Steinowit=) Well, may$e you do. 1ay$e so. .ut you have thought so $efore, haven&t you)& &What do you want, Joe)& a( didn&t like to $e reminded of (ast failures. They had actually had the girl for a while. The men who had $een involved in that were still not o(erational and may$e never would $e. &What do I always want)& Wanless asked, hunched over his cane. 3h hrist, a( thought, the old fuck&s going to wa- rhetorical. &Why do I stay alive) To (ersuade you to sanction them $oth. To sanction that James 8ichardson as well. To sanction the ones on 1aui. 4-treme sanction, a(tain Hollister. 4-(unge them. Wi(e them off the face of the earth.& a( sighed. Wanless gestured toward the li$rary cart with his claw*hand and said, &"ou&ve $een through the files again, I see.& &I have them almost $y heart,& a( said, and then smiled a little. He had $een eating and drinking Lot Si- for the last year/ it had $een a constant item on the agenda at every meeting during the two years $efore that. So may$e Wanless wasn&t the only o$sessive character around here, at that. The difference is, I get (aid for it. With Wanless it&s a ho$$y. A dangerous ho$$y. &"ou read them $ut you don&t learn,& Wanless said. &Let me try once more to convert.you to the way of truth, Hollister.& a( $egan to (rotest, and then the thought of 8ain$ird and his noon a((ointment came to mind, and his face smoothed out. It $ecame calm, even sym(athetic. &All right,& he said. &6ire when ready, 2ridley.& &"ou still think I&m cra=y, don&t you) A lunatic.& &"ou said that, not I.& &It would $e well for you to remem$er that I was the first one to suggest a testing (rogram with dilysergic triune acid.& &I have days when I wish you hadn&t,& a( said. If he closed his eyes, he could still see Wanless&s first re(ort, a two*hundred*(age (ros(ectus on the drug that had first $een known as 'LT, then, among the technicians involved, as &$ooster*acid,& and finally as Lot Si-. a(&s (redecessor had okayed the original (ro+ect/ that gentleman had $een $uried in Arlington with full military honors si- years ago. &All I am saying is that my o(inion should carry some weight,& Wanless said. He sounded tired this morning/ his words were slow and furry. The twisted sneer on the left side of his mouth did not move as he s(oke. &I&m listening,& a( said. &So far as I am a$le to tell, I am the only (sychologist or medical man who still has your ear at all. "our (eo(le have $ecome $linded $y one thing and one thing only; what this man and this girl can mean to the security of America . . . and (ossi$ly to the future $alance of (ower. 6rom what we&ve $een a$le to tell $y following this 1c2ee&s $acktrail, he is a kind of $enign 8as(utin. He can make . . .& Wanless droned on, $ut a( lost him tem(orarily. .enign 8as(utin, he thought. ,ur(le as the (hrase was, he rather liked it. He wondered what Wanless would say if told the com(uter had issued one*in*four odds that 1c2ee had sanctioned himself getting out of !ew "ork ity. ,ro$a$ly would have $een over+oyed. And if he had showed Wanless that strange $ill) ,ro$a$ly have another stroke, a( thought, and covered his mouth to hide a smile. &It is the girl I am (rimarily worried a$out,& Wanless told him for the twentieth) thirtieth) fiftieth) time. &1c2ee and Tomlinson marrying . . . a thousand*to*one chance. It should have $een (revented at all costs. "et who could have foreseen * & &"ou were all in favor of it at the time,& a( said, and then added dryly, &I do $elieve you would have given the $ride away if they&d asked you.& &!one of us reali=ed,& Wanless muttered. &It took a stroke to make me see. Lot Si- was nothing $ut a synthetic co(y of a (ituitary e-tract, after all . . . an incredi$ly (owerful (ainkiller hallucinogen that we did not understand then and that we don&t understand now. We know * or at least we are ninety*nine*(ercent sure * that the natural counter(art of this su$stance is res(onsi$le in some way for the occasional flashes of (si a$ility that nearly all human $eings demonstrate from time to time. A sur(risingly wide range of (henomena; (recognition, telekinesis, mental domination, $ursts of su(erhuman strength, tem(orary control over the sym(athetic nervous system. 'id you know that the (ituitary gland $ecomes suddenly overactive in nearly all $iofeed$ack e-(eriments)& a( did. Wanless had told him this and all the rest times without num$er. .ut there was no need to answer/ Wanless&s rhetoric was in full fine flower this morning, the
a(tain
29
sermon well*launched. And a( was dis(osed to listen . . . this one last time. Let the old man have his turn at $at. 6or Wanless, it was the $ottom of the ninth..&"es, this is true,& Wanless answered himself. &It&s active in $iofeed$ack, it&s active in 841 slee(, and (eo(le with damaged (ituitaries rarely dream normally. ,eo(le with damaged (ituitaries have a tremendously high incidence of $rain tumours and leukemia. The (ituitary gland, a(tain Hollister. It is, s(eaking in terms of evolution, the oldest endocrine gland in the human $ody. 'uring early adolescence it dum(s many times its own weight in glandular secretions into the $loodstream. It&s a terri$ly im(ortant gland, a terri$ly mysterious gland. If I $elieved in the human soul, a(tain Hollister, I would say it resides within the (ituitary gland.& a( grunted. &We know these things,& Wanless said, &and we know that Lot Si- somehow changed the (hysical com(osition of the (ituitary glands of those who (artici(ated in the e-(eriment. 4ven that of your so*called &5uiet one,& James 8ichardson. 1ost im(ortantly, we can deduce from the girl that it also changes the chromosome structure in some way . . . and that the change in the (ituitary gland may $e a genuine mutation.& &The N factor was (assed on.& &!o,& Wanless said. &That is one of the many things you fail to gras(, a(tain Hollister. Andrew 1c2ee $ecame an N factor in his (ost e-(eriment life. <ictoria Tomlinson $ecame a " factor * also affected, $ut not in the same way as her hus$and. The woman retained a low*threshold telekinetic (ower. The man retained a mid*level mental dominance a$ility. The little girl, though . . . the little girl, a(tain Hollister . . . what is she) We don&t really know. She is the J factor.& &We intend to find out,& a( said softly. !ow $oth sides of Wanless&s mouth sneered. &"ou intend to find out,& he echoed. &"es, if you (ersist, you certainly may . . . you $lind, o$sessive fools.& He closed his eyes for a moment and (ut one hand over them. a( watched him calmly. Wanless said; &3ne thing you know already. She lights fires.& &"es.& &"ou assume that she has inherited her mother&s telekinetic a$ility. In fact, you strongly sus(ect it.& &"es.& &As a very small child, she was totally una$le to control these . . . these talents, for want of a $etter word . . .& &A small child is una$le to control its $owels,& a( said, using one of the e-am(les set forth in the e-tracta. &.ut as the child grows older * & &"es, yes, I am familiar with the analogy. .ut an older child may still have accidents.& Smiling, a( answered, &We&re going to kee( her in a fire(roof room.& &A cell.& Still smiling, a( said, &If you (refer.& &I offer you this deduction,& Wanless said. &She does not like to use this a$ility she has. She has $een frightened of it, and this fright has $een instilled in her 5uite deli$erately. I will give you a (arallel e-am(le. 1y $rother&s child. There were matches in the house. 6reddy wanted to (lay with them. Light them and then shake them out. E,retty, (retty,& he would say. And so my $rother set out to make a com(le-. To frighten him so $adly he would never (lay with the matches again. He told 6reddy that the heads of the matches were sulfur and that they would make his teeth rot and fall out. That looking at struck matches would eventually $lind him. And finally, he held 6reddy&s hand momentarily.over a lit match and singed him with it. &"our $rother,& a( murmured, &sounds like a true (rince among men.& &.etter a small red (lace on the $oy&s hand than a child in the $urn unit, wet(acked, with third*degree $urns over si-ty (ercent of his $ody,& Wanless said grimly. &.etter still to (ut the matches out of the child&s reach.& & an you (ut harlene 1c2ee&s matches out of her reach)& Wanless asked. a( nodded slowly. &"ou have a (oint of a sort, $ut * & &Ask yourself this, a(tain Hollister; how must it have $een for Andrew and <ictoria 1c2ee when this child was an infant) After they $egin to make the necessary connection) The $ottle is late. The $a$y cries. At the same time, one of the stuffed animals right there in the cri$ with her $ursts into smoky flame. There is a mess in the dia(er. The $a$y cries. A moment later the dirty clothes in the ham(er $egin to $urn s(ontaneously. "ou have the records, a(tain Hollister/ you know how it was in that house. A fire e-tinguisher and a smoke detector in every single room. And once it was her hair, a(tain Hollister/ they came into her room and found her standing in her cri$ and screaming and her hair was on fire.& &"es,& a( said, &it must have made them goddam nervous.& &So,& Wanless said, &they toilet*trained her . . . and they fire*trained her.& &6ire*training,& a( mused. &Which is only to say that, like my $rother and his $oy 6reddy, they made a com(le-. "ou have 5uoted me that analogy, a(tain Hollister, so let us e-amine it for a moment. What is toilet*training) It is making a com(le-, (ure and sim(le.& And suddenly astonishingly, the old man&s voice clim$ed to a high, wavering tre$le, the voice of a woman scolding a $a$y. a( looked on with disgusted astonishment. &"ou $ad $a$y7& Wanless cried. &Look what you&ve done7 It&s nasty, $a$y, see how nasty it is) It&s nasty to do it in your (ants7 'o grown*u(s do it in their (ants) 'o it on the (ot, $a$y, on the (ot.& &,lease,& a( said, (ained. &It is the making of a com(le-,& Wanless said. &Toilet*training is accom(lished $y focusing the child&s attention on his own eliminatory (rocesses in a way we would consider unhealthy if the o$+ect of fi-ation were something different. How strong is the
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com(le- inculcated in the child, you might ask) 8ichard 'amon of the >niversity of Washington asked himself this 5uestion and made an e-(eriment to find out. He advertised for fifty student volunteers. He filled them u( with water and soda and milk until they all $adly needed to urinate. After a certain set time had (assed, he told them they could go . . . if they went in their (ants.& &That&s disgusting7& a( said loudly. He was shocked and sickened. That wasn&t an e-(eriment/ it was an e-ercise in degeneracy. &See how well the com(lehas set in your own (syche,& Wanless said 5uietly. &"ou did not think it was so disgusting when you were twenty months old. Then, when you had to go, you went. "ou would have gone sitting on the (o(e&s la( if someone had set you there and you had to go. The (oint of the 'amon e-(eriment, a(tain Hollister, is this; most of them couldn&t. They understood that the ordinary rules of $ehavior had $een set aside, at least for the course of the e-(eriment/ they were each alone in 5uarters at least as (rivate as the ordinary $athroom . . . $ut fully eighty*eight (ercent of them +ust couldn&t. !o matter how strong the (hysical need was, the com(le- instilled $y their (arents was.stronger.& &This is nothing $ut (ointless wandering,& a( said curtly. &!o, it isn&t. I want you to consider the (arallels $etween toilet*training and fire*training . . . and the one significant difference, which is the 5uantum lea( $etween the urgency of accom(lishing the former and the latter. If the child toilet*trains slowly, what are the conse5uences) 1inor un(leasantness. His rooms smells if not constantly aired. The mamma is chained to her washing machine. The cleaners may have to $e called in to sham(oo the car(et after the +o$ is finally done. At the very worst, the $a$y may have a constant dia(er rash, and that will only ha((en if the $a$y&s skin is very sensitive or if the mamma is a sloven a$out kee(ing him clean. .ut the conse5uences to a child who can make fire. . .& His eyes glittered. The left side of his mouth sneered. &1y estimation of the 1c2ees as (arents is very high,& Wanless said. &Somehow they got her through it. I would imagine they $egan the +o$ long $efore (arents usually $egin the toilet*training (rocess/ (erha(s even $efore she was a$le to crawl. E.a$y mustn&t7 .a$y hurt herself7 !o, no, no7 .ad girl7 .ad girl7 .a*ad girl7&& &.ut your own com(uter suggests $y its readouts that she is overcoming her com(le-, a(tain Hollister. She is in an envia$le (osition to do it. She is young, and the com(lehas not had a chance to set in a $ed of years until it $ecomes like cement. And she has her father with her7 'o you reali=e the significance of that sim(le fact) !o, you do not. The father is the authority figure. He holds the (sychic reins of every fi-ation in the female child. 3ral, anal, genital/ $ehind each, like a shadowy figure standing $ehind a curtain, is the father authority figure. To the girl*child he is 1oses/ the laws are his laws, handed down she knows not how, $ut his to enforce. He is (erha(s the only (erson on earth who can remove this $lock. 3ur com(le-es, a(tain Hollister, always give us the most agony and (sychic distress when those who have inculcated them die and (ass $eyond argument . . . and mercy.& a( glanced at his watch and saw that Wanless had $een in here almost forty minutes. It felt like hours. &Are you almost done) I have another a((ointment * & &When com(le-es go, they go like dams $ursting after torrential rains,& Wanless said softly. &We have a (romiscuous girl who is nineteen years old. Already she has had three hundred lovers. Her $ody is as hot with se-ual infection as that of a forty*year*old (rostitute. .ut until she was seventeen she was a virgin. Her father was a minister who told her again and again as a little girl that se- inside marriage was a necessary evil, that se- outside marriage was hell and damnation, that se- was the a((le of original sin. When a com(le- like that goes, it goes like a $reaking dam. 6irst there is a crack or two, little trickling rills of water so small as to esca(e notice. And according to your com(uter&s information, that is where we are now with this 9little girl. Suggestions that she has used her a$ility to hel( her father, at her father&s urging. And then it all goes at once, s(ewing out millions of gallons of water, destroying everything in its (ath, drowning &everyone caught in its way, changing the landsca(e forever7& Wanless&s croaking voice had risen from its original soft (itch to a $roken*voiced old man&s shout * $ut it was more (eevish than magnificent. &Listen,& he said to a(. &6or once, listen to me. 'ro( the $linders from your eyes. The man is not dangerous in and of himself. He has a little (ower, a toy, a (laything. He understands that. He has not $een a$le to use it to make a million dollars. He does not.rule men and nations. He has used his (ower to hel( fat women lose weight. He has used it to hel( timid e-ecutives gain confidence. He is una$le to use the (ower often or well . . . some inner (hysiological factor limits him. .ut the girl is incredi$ly dangerous. She is on the run with her daddy, faced with a survival situation. She is $adly frightened. And he is frightened as well, which is what makes him dangerous. !ot in and of himself, $ut $ecause you are forcing him to reeducate the little girl. "ou are forcing him to change her conce(tions a$out the (ower inside her. "ou are forcing him to force her to use it.& Wanless was $reathing hard. ,laying out the scenario * the end was now in sight * a( said calmly, &What do you suggest)& &The man must $e killed. @uickly. .efore he can do anymore (ick*and*shovel work on the com(le- he and his wife $uilt into the little girl. And the girl must also $e killed, I $elieve. In case the damage has already $een done.& &She&s only a little girl, Wanless, after all. She can light fires, yes. ,yrokinesis, we call it. .ut you&re making it sound like armageddon.& &,erha(s it will $e,& Wanless said. &"ou mustn&t let her age and si=e fool you into forgetting the J factor . . . which is e-actly what you are doing, of course. Su((ose lighting fires is only the ti( of this ice$erg) Su((ose the talent grows) She is seven. When John 1ilton was seven, he was (erha(s a small $oy gras(ing a stick of charcoal
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and la$oring to write his own name in letters his mamma and daddy could understand. He was a $a$y. John 1ilton grew u( to write ,aradise Lost.& &I don&t know what the hell you&re talking a$out,& a( said flatly. &I am talking a$out the (otential for destruction. I am talking a$out a talent which is linked to the (ituitary gland, a gland which is nearly dormant in a child harlene 1c2ee&s age. What ha((ens when she $ecomes an adolescent and that gland awakes from its slee( and $ecomes for twenty months the most (owerful force in the human $ody, ordering everything from the sudden maturation of the (rimary and secondary secharacteristics to an increased (roduction of visual (ur(le in the eye) Su((ose you have a child ca(a$le of eventually creating a nuclear e-(losion sim(ly $y the force of her will)& &That&s the most insane thing I&ve ever heard.& &Is it) Then let me (rogress from insanity to utter lunacy, a(tain Hollister. Su((ose there is a little girl out there some(lace this morning who has within her, lying dormant only for the time $eing, the (ower to someday crack the very (lanet in two like a china (late in a shooting gallery)& They looked at each other in silence. And suddenly the intercom $u==ed. After a moment, a( leaned over and thum$ed it. &"es, 8achel)& 2oddamned if the old man hadn&t had him there, for +ust a moment. He was like some awful gore*crow, and that was another reason a( didn&t like him. He was a go*getter himself, and if there was one thing he couldn&t stand, it was a (essimist. &"ou have a call on the scram$ler,& 8achel said. &6rom the service area.& &All right, dear. Thanks. Hold it for a cou(le of minutes, okay)& &"es, sir.& He sat $ack in his chair. &I have to terminate this interview, 'r. Wanless. "ou may $e sure that I&ll consider everything you&ve said very carefully.& &Will you)& Wanless asked. The fro=en side of his mouth seemed to sneer cynically. &"es.&.Wanless said; &The girl . . . 1c2ee . . . and this fellow 8ichardson . . . they are the last three marks of a dead e5uation, a(tain Hollister. 4rase them. Start over. The girl is very dangerous.& &I&ll consider everything you&ve said,& a( re(eated. &'o so.& And Wanless finally $egan to struggle to his feet, (ro((ing himself on his cane. It took him a long time. At last he was u(. &Winter is coming,& he said to a(. &These old $ones dread it.& &Are you staying in Longmont tonight)& &!o, Washington.& a( hesitated and then said, &Stay at the 1ayflower. I may want to get in touch with you.& Something in the old man&s eyes * gratitude) "es, almost certainly that. &<ery good, a(tain Hollister,& he said, and worked his way $ack to the door on his cane * an old man who had once o(ened ,andora&s $o- and now wanted to shoot all of the things that had flown out instead of (utting them to work. When the door had snicked closed $ehind him, a( $reathed a sigh of relief and (icked u( the scram$ler (hone. K &Who am I talking to)& &3rv Jamieson, sir.& &Have you got them, Jamieson)& &!ot yet, sir, $ut we found something interesting at the air(ort.& &What&s that)& &All the (ay (hones are em(ty. We found a few 5uarters and dimes on the floors of some of them.& &Jimmied)& &!o, sir. That&s why I called you. They haven&t $een +immied, they&re +ust em(ty. ,hone com(any&s going cra=y.& &All right, Jamieson.& &It s(eeds things u(. We&ve $een figuring that may$e the guy hid the girl outside and only checked himself in. .ut either way, we figure now that we&re looking for a guy who (aid with a lot of change.& &If they are at a motel and not shacked u( at a summer cam( somewhere.& &"es, sir.& & arry on, 3J.& &"es, sir. Thank you.& He sounded a$surdly (leased that his nickname had $een remem$ered. a( hung u(. He sat with his eyes half closed for five minutes, thinking. The mellow autumn light fell through the $ay window and lit the office, warmed it. Then he leaned forward and got 8achel again. &Is John 8ain$ird there)& &"es he is, a(.& &2ive me another five minutes and then send him in. I want to talk to !orville .ates.out in the service area. He&s the head honcho until A% gets there.& &"es, sir,& 8achel said, a little dou$tfully. &It will have to $e an o(en line. Walkie*talkie link*u(. !ot very * & &"es, that&s fine,& he said im(atiently. It took two minutes. .ates&s voice was thin and crackling. He was a good man * not very imaginative, $ut a (lugger. The kind of man a( wanted to have holding the fort until Al$ert Steinowit= could get there. At last !orville came on the line and told a( they were $eginning to s(read out into the surrounding towns * 3akville, Tremont, 1essalonsett, Hastings 2len, Looton. &All right, !orville, that&s good,& a( said. He thought of Wanless saying "ou are
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forcing him to reeducate the little girl. He thought of Jamieson telling him all the (hones were em(ty. 1c2ee hadn&t done that. The girl had done it. And then, $ecause she was still u(, she had $urned that soldier&s shoes off, (ro$a$ly $y accident. Wanless would $e (leased to know that a( was going to take fifty (ercent of his advice after all * the old turd had $een ama=ingly elo5uent this morning. &Things have changed,& a( said. &We&ve got to have the $ig $oy sanctioned. 4-treme sanction. "ou follow)& &4-treme sanction,& !orville said flatly. &"es, sir.& &<ery good, !orville,& a( said softly. He (ut the (hone down and waited for John 8ain$ird to come in. The door o(ened a moment later and there he stood, as $ig as life and twice as ugly. He was so naturally 5uiet, this half herokee, that if you had $een looking down at your desk, reading or answering corres(ondence, you wouldn&t have $een aware that anyone was in the room with you at all. a( knew how rare that was. 1ost (eo(le could sense another (erson in the room; Wanless had once called that a$ility not a si-th sense $ut a $ottom*of*the*$arrel sense, a knowledge $orn of infinitesimal in(ut from the five normal senses. .ut with 8ain$ird, you didn&t know. !ot one of the whisker thin sensory tri(wires so much as vi$rated. Al Steinowit= had said a strange thing a$out 8ain$ird once over glasses of (ort in a(&s living room; &He&s the one human $eing I ever met who doesn&t (ush air in front of him when he walks.& And a( was glad 8ain$ird was on their side, $ecause he was the only human he had ever met who com(letely terrified him. &8ain$ird was a troll, an orc, a $alrog of a man. He stood two inches shy of seven feet tall, and he wore his glossy $lack hair drawn $ack and tied in a curt (onytail. Ten years $efore, a laymore had $lown u( in his face during his second tour of <ietnam, and now his countenance was a horror show of scar tissue and runneled flesh. His left eye was gone. There was nothing where it had $een $ut a ravine. He would not have (lastic surgery or an artificial eye $ecause, he said, when he got to the ha((y hunting ground $eyond, he would $e asked to show his $attlescars. When he said such things, you did not know whether to $elieve him or not/ you did not know if he was serious or leading you on for reasons of his own. 3ver the years, 8ain$ird had $een a sur(risingly good agent * (artially $ecause the last thing on earth he looked like was an agent, mostly $ecause there was an a(t, ferociously $right mind $ehind that mask of flesh. He s(oke four languages fluently and had an understanding of three others. He was taking a slee( course in 8ussian. When he s(oke, his voice was low, musical, and civili=ed. &2ood afternoon, a(.&.&Is it afternoon)& a( asked, sur(rised. 8ain$ird smiled, showing a $ig set of (erfectly white teeth * shark&s teeth, a( thought. &.y fourteen minutes,& he said. &I (icked u( a Seiko digital watch on the $lack market in <enice. It is fascinating. Little $lack num$ers that change constantly. A feat of technology. I often think, a(, that we fought the war in <ietnam not to win $ut to (erform feats of technology. We fought it in order to create the chea( digital*wristwatch, the home ,ing*,ong game that hooks u( to one&s T<, the (ocket calculator. I look at my new wristwatch in the dark of night. It tells me I am closer to my death, second $y second. That is good news.& &Sit down, old friend,& a( said. As always when he talked to 8ain$ird, his mouth was dry and he had to restrain his hands, which wanted to twine and knot together on the (olished surface of his desk. All of that, and he $elieved that 8ain$ird liked him * if 8ain$ird could $e said to like anyone. 8ain$ird sat down. He was wearing old $lue+eans and a faded cham$ray shirt. &How was <enice)& a( asked. &Sinking,& 8ain$ird said. &I have a +o$ for you, if you want it. It is a small one, $ut it may lead to an assignment you&ll find considera$ly more interesting.& &Tell me.& &Strictly volunteer,& a( (ersisted. &"ou&re still on 8 and 8.& &Tell me,& 8ain$ird re(eated gently, and a( told him. He was with 8ain$ird for only fifteen minutes, $ut it seemed an hour. When the $ig Indian left, a( $reathed a long sigh. .oth Wanless and 8ain$ird in one morning * that would take the sna( out of anyone&s day. .ut the morning was over now, a lot had $een accom(lished, and who knew what might lie ahead this afternoon) He $u==ed 8achel. &"es, a()& &I&ll $e eating in, darling. Would you get me something from the cafeteria) It doesn&t matter what. Anything. Thank you, 8achel.& Alone at last. The scram$ler (hone lay silent on its thick $ase, filled with microcircuits and memory chi(s and 2od alone knew what else. When it $u==ed again, it would (ro$a$ly $e Al$ert or !orville to tell him that it was over in !ew "ork * the girl taken, her father dead. That would $e good news. a( closed his eyes again. Thoughts and (hrases floated through his mind like large, la=y kites. 1ental domination. Their think*tank $oys said the (ossi$ilities were enormous. Imagine someone like 1c2ee close to astro, or the Ayatollah 0homeini. Imagine him getting close enough to that (inko Ted 0ennedy to suggest in a low voice of utter conviction that suicide was the $est answer. Imagine a man like that sicced on the leaders of the various communist guerrilla grou(s. It was a shame they had to lose him. .ut . . . what could $e made to ha((en once could $e made to ha((en again. The little girl. Wanless saying The (ower to someday crack the very (lanet in two like a china (late in a shooting gallery . . . ridiculous, of course. Wanless had gone as cra=y as the little $oy in the '. H. Lawrence story, the one who could (ick the winners at the racetrack. Lot Si- had turned into $attery acid for Wanless/ it had eaten a num$er of large, ga(ing holes in the man&s good sense. She was a little girl, not a doomsday
33
wea(on. And they had to hang onto her at least long enough to document what she was and to chart what she could $e. That alone would $e enough to reactivate the Lot Si-.testing (rogram. If she could $e (ersuaded to use her (owers for the good of the country, so much the $etter. So much the $etter, a( thought. The scram$ler (hone suddenly uttered its long, hoarse cry. His (ulse suddenly lea(ing, a( gra$$ed it..The Incident at the 1anders 6arm % While a( discussed her future with Al Steinowit= in Longmont, harlie 1c2ee was sitting on the edge of the motel $ed in >nit Si-teen of the Slum$erland, yawning and stretching. .right morning sunlight fell aslant through the window, out of a sky that was a dee( and $lameless autumn $lue. Things seemed so much $etter in the good daylight. She looked at her daddy, who was nothing $ut a motionless hum( under the $lankets. A fluff of $lack hair stuck out * that was all. She smiled. He always did his $est. If he was hungry and she was hungry and there was only an a((le, he would take one $ite and make her eat the rest. When he was awake, he always did his $est. .ut when he was slee(ing, he stole all the $lankets. She went into the $athroom, shucked off her under(ants, and turned on the shower. She used the toilet while the water got warm and then ste((ed into the shower stall. The hot water hit her and she closed her eyes, smiling. !othing in the world was any nicer than the first minute or two in a hot shower. 9you were $ad last night: A frown creased her $row. 9!o. 'addy said not.: 9lit that man&s shoes on fire, $ad girl, very $ad, do you like teddy all $lack): The frown dee(ened. >nease was now tinctured with fear and shame. The idea of her teddy $ear never even fully surfaced/ it was an underthought, and as so often ha((ened, her guilt seemed to $e summed u( in a smell * a $urned, charred smell. Smoldering cloth and stuffing. And this smell summoned ha=y (ictures of her mother and father leaning over her, and they were $ig (eo(le, giants/ and they were scared/ they were angry, their voices were $ig and crackling, like $oulders +um(ing and thudding down a mountainside in a movie. 9&$ad girl7 very $ad7 you mustn&t, harlie7 never7 never7 never7&: How old had she $een then) Three) Two) How far $ack could a (erson remem$er) She had asked 'addy that once and 'addy said he didn&t know. He said he remem$ered getting a $ee sting and his mother had told him that ha((ened when he was only fifteen months old. This was her earliest memory; the giant faces leaning over her/ the $ig voices like $oulders rolling downhill/ and a smell like a $urned waffle. That smell had $een her hair. She had lit her own hair on fire and had $urned nearly all of it off. It was after that that 'addy mentioned &hel(& and 1ommy got all funny, first laughing, then crying, then laughing again so high and strange that 'addy had sla((ed her face. She remem$ered that $ecause it was the only time that she knew of that her daddy had done something like that to her mommy. 1ay$e we ought to think a$out getting &hel(& for her, 'addy had said. They were in the $athroom and her head was wet $ecause 'addy had (ut her in the shower. 3h, yes, her mommy had said, let&s go see 'r. Wanless, he&ll give us (lenty of &hel(,& +ust like he did $efore . . . then the laughing, the crying, more laughter, and the sla(..9you were so .A' last night: &!o,& she murmured in the drumming shower. &'addy said not. 'addy said it could have . . . $een . . . his . . . face.& 9"3> W484 <48" .A' LAST !I2HT: .ut they had needed the change from the tele(hones. 'addy had said so. 9<48" .A'7: And then she $egan to think a$out 1ommy again, a$out the time when she had $een five, going on si-. She didn&t like to think a$out this $ut the memory was here now and she couldn&t (ut it aside. It had ha((ened +ust $efore the $ad men had come and hurt 1ommy. 9killed her, you mean, they killed her: yes, all right, $efore they killed her, and took harlie away. 'addy had taken her on his la( for storytime, only he hadn&t had the usual story$ooks a$out ,ooh and Tigger and 1r. Toad and Willy Wonka&s 2reat 2lass 4levator. Instead he had a num$er of thick $ooks with no (ictures. She had wrinkled her nose in distaste and asked for ,ooh instead. &!o, harlie,& he had said. &I want to read you some other stories, and I need you to listen. "ou&re old enough now, I think, and your mother thinks so, too. The stories may scare you a little $it, $ut they&re im(ortant. They&re true stories.& She remem$ered the names of the $ooks 'addy had read the stories from, $ecause the stories had scared her. There was a $ook called Lo7 $y a man named harles 6ort. A $ook called Stranger Than Science $y a man named 6rank 4dwards. A $ook called !ight&s Truth. And there had $een another $ook called ,yrokinesis; A ase .ook, $ut 1ommy would not let 'addy read anything from that one. &Later,& 1ommy had said, &when she&s much older, Andy.& And then that $ook had gone away. harlie had $een glad. The stories were scary, all right. 3ne was a$out a man who had $urned to death in a (ark. 3ne was a$out a lady who had $urned u( in the living room of her trailer home, and nothing in the whole room had $een $urned $ut the lady and a little $it of the chair she had $een sitting in while she watched T<. ,arts of it had $een too com(licated for her to understand, $ut she remem$ered one thing; a (oliceman saying; &We have no e-(lanation for this fatality. There was nothing left of the victim $ut teeth and a few charred (ieces of
34
$one. It would have taken a $lowtorch to do that to a (erson, and nothing around her was even charred. We can&t e-(lain why the whole (lace didn&t go u( like a rocket.& The third story had $een a$out a $ig $oy * he was eleven or twelve * who had $urned u( while he was at the $each. His daddy had (ut him in the water, $urning himself $adly in the (rocess, $ut the $oy had still gone on $urning until he was all $urned u(. And a story a$out a teenage girl who had $urned u( while e-(laining all her sins to the (riest in the confession room. harlie knew all a$out the atholic confession room $ecause her friend 'eenie had told her. 'eenie said you had to tell the (riest all the $ad stuff you had done all week long. 'eenie didn&t go yet $ecause she hadn&t had first holy communion, $ut her $rother arl did. arl was in the fourth grade, and he had to tell everything, even the time he sneaked into his mother&s room and took some of her $irthday chocolates. .ecause if you didn&t tell the (riest, you couldn&t $e washed in TH4 .L33' 36 H8IST and you would go to TH4 H3T ,LA 4. The (oint of all these stories had not $een lost on harlie. She had $een so frightened after the one a$out the girl in the confession room that she $urst into tears. &Am I going to.$urn myself u()& She we(t. &Like when I was little and caught my hair on fire) Am I going to $urn to (ieces)& And 'addy and 1ommy had looked u(set. 1ommy was (ale and ke(t chewing at her li(s, $ut 'addy had (ut an arm around her and said, &!o, honey. !ot if you always remem$er to $e careful and not think a$out that . . . thing. That thing you do sometimes when you&re u(set and scared.& &What is it)& harlie had cried. &What is it, tell me what is it, I don&t even know, I&ll never do it, I (romise7& 1ommy had said, &As far as we can tell, honey, it&s called (yrokinesis. It means $eing a$le to light fires sometimes +ust $y thinking a$out fires. It usually ha((ens when (eo(le are u(set. Some (eo(le a((arently have that . . . that (ower all their lives and never even know it. And some (eo(le . . . well, the (ower gets hold of them for a minute and they . . .& She couldn&t finish. &They $urn themselves u(,& 'addy had said. &Like when you were little and caught your hair on fire, yes. .ut you can get control of that, harlie. "ou have to. And 2od knows it isn&t your fault.& His eyes and 1ommy&s had met for a moment when he said that, and something had seemed to (ass $etween them. Hugging her around the shoulders, he had said, &Sometimes you can&t hel( it, I know. It&s an accident, like when you were smaller and you forget to go to the $athroom $ecause you were (laying and you wet your (ants. We used to call that having an accident * do you remem$er)& &I never do that anymore.& &!o, of course you don&t. And in a little while, you&ll have control of this other thing in +ust the same way. .ut for now, harlie, you&ve got to (romise us that you&ll never never never get u(set that way if you can hel( it. In that way that makes you start fires. And if you do, if you can&t hel( it, (ush it away from yourself. At a waste$asket or an ashtray. Try to get outside. Try to (ush it at water, if there&s any around.& &.ut never at a (erson,& 1ommy had said, and her face was still and (ale and grave. &That would $e very dangerous, harlie. That would $e a very $ad girl. .ecause you could& * she struggled, forced the words u( and out * &you could kill a (erson.& And then harlie had we(t hysterically, tears of terror and remorse, $ecause $oth of 1ommy&s hands were $andaged, and she knew why 'addy had read her all the scary stories. .ecause the day $efore, when 1ommy told her she couldn&t go over to 'eenie&s house $ecause she hadn&t (icked u( her room, harlie had got very angry, and suddenly the fire thing had $een there, (o((ing out of nowhere as it always did, like some evil +ack*in* the*$o-, nodding and grinning, and she had $een so angry she had shoved it out of herself and at her mommy and then 1ommy&s hands had $een on fire. And it hadn&t $een too $ad. 9could have $een worse could have $een her face: $ecause the sink had $een full of soa(y water for the dishes, it hadn&t $een too $ad, $ut it had $een <48" .A', and she had (romised them $oth that she would never never never The warm water drummed on her face, her chest, her shoulders, encasing her in a warm envelo(e, a cocoon, easing away memories and care. 'addy had told her it was all right. And if 'addy said a thing was so, it was. He was the smartest man in the world. Her mind turned from the (ast to the (resent, and she thought a$out the men who were.chasing them. They were from the government, 'addy said, $ut not a good (art of the government. They worked for a (art of the government called the Sho(. The men chased them and chased them. 4verywhere they went, after a little while, those Sho( men showed u(. I wonder how they&d like it if I set them on fire) a (art of her asked coolly, and she s5uee=ed her eyes shut in guilty horror. It was nasty to think that way. It was $ad. harlie reached out, gras(ed the H3T shower faucet, and shut it off with a sudden hard twist of her wrist. 6or the ne-t two minutes she stood shivering and clutching her slight $ody under the ice*cold, needling s(ray, wanting to get out, not allowing herself to. When you had $ad thoughts, you had to (ay for them. 'eenie had told her so. ? Andy woke u( a little at a time, vaguely aware of the drumming sound of the shower. At first it had $een (art of a dream; he was on Tashmore ,ond with his grandfather and he was eight years old again, trying to get a s5uirming nightcrawler onto his hook without sticking the hook into his thum$. The dream had $een incredi$ly vivid. He could see the s(lintery wicker creel in the $ow of the $oat, he could see the red tire (atches on 2randfather 1c2ee&s old green $oots, he could see his own old and wrinkled first $aseman&s mitt, and
35
looking at it made him remem$er that he had Little League (ractice tomorrow at 8oosevelt 6ield. .ut this was tonight, the last light and the drawing dark $alanced (erfectly on the cus( of twilight, the (ond so still that you could see the small clouds of midges and noseeums skimming over its surface, which was the colour of chrome. Heat lightning flashed intermittently . . . or may$e it was real lightening, $ecause it was raining. The first dro(s darkened the wood of 2ranther&s dory, weather$eaten white, in (enny*si=ed dro(s. Then you could hear it on the lake, a low and mysterious hissing sound, like * * like the sound of a * * shower, harlie must $e in the shower. He o(ened his eyes and looked at an unfamiliar $eamed ceiling. Where are we) It fell $ack into (lace a (iece at a time, $ut there was an instant of frightened free*fall that came of having $een in too many (laces over the last year, of having too many close shaves and $eing under too much (ressure. He thought longingly of his dream and wished he could $e $ack in it with 2randfather 1c2ee, who had $een dead for twenty years now. Hastings 2len. He was in Hastings 2len. They were in Hastings 2len. He wondered a$out his head. It hurt, $ut not like last night, when that $earded guy had let them off; The (ain was down to a steady low thro$. If this one followed (revious history, the thro$ would $e +ust a faint ache $y this evening, and entirely gone $y tomorrow. The shower was turned off; He sat u( in $ed and looked at his watch. It was 5uarter to eleven. & harlie)& She came $ack into the $edroom, ru$$ing herself vigorously with a towel..&2ood morning, 'addy.& &2ood morning. How are you)& &Hungry,& she said. She went over to the chair where she had (ut her clothes and (icked u( the green $louse. Sniffed it. 2rimaced. &I need to change my clothes.& &"ou&ll have to make do with those for a while, $a$e. We&ll get you something later on today.& &I ho(e we don&t have to wait that long to eat.& &We&ll hitch a ride,& he said, &and sto( at the first cafe was come to.& &'addy, when I started school, you told me never to ride with strangers.& She was into her under(ants and green $louse, and was looking at him curiously. Andy got out of $ed, walked over to her, and (ut his hands on her shoulders. &The devil you don&t know is sometimes $etter than the one you do,& he said. &'o you know what that means, keed)& She thought a$out it carefully. The devil they knew was those men from the Sho(, she guessed. The men that had chased them down the street in !ew "ork the day $efore. The devil they didn&t know * &I guess it means that most (eo(le driving cars don&t work for that Sho(,& she said. He smiled $ack. &"ou got it. And what I said $efore still holds, harlie; when you get into a $ad fi-, you sometimes have to do things you&d never do if things were going good.& harlie&s smile faded. Her face $ecame serious, watchful. &Like getting the money to come out of the (hones)& &"es,& he said. &And it wasn&t $ad)& &!o. >nder the circumstances, it wasn&t $ad.& &.ecause when you get into a $ad fi-, you do what you have to do to get out of it.& &With some e-ce(tions, yes.& &What are e-ce(tions, 'addy)& He ruffled her hair. &!ever mind now, harlie. Lighten u(.& .ut she wouldn&t. &And I didn&t mean to set that man&s shoes on fire. I didn&t do it on (ur(ose.& &!o, of course you didn&t.& Then she did lighten u(/ her smile, so much like <icky&s, came out radiantly. &How does your head feel this morning, 'addy)& &1uch $etter, thanks.& &2ood.& She looked at him closely. &"our eye looks funny.& &Which eye)& She (ointed at his left. &That one.& &"eah)& He went into the $athroom and wi(ed a clear (lace on the steamed mirror. He looked at his eye for a long time, his good humor fading. His right eye looked +ust as it always had, a gray green * the color of the ocean on an overcast s(ring day. His left eye was also gray green, $ut the white was $adly $loodshot, and the (u(il looked smaller than the right (u(il. And the eyelid had a (eculiar droo( that he had never noticed $efore. <icky&s voice suddenly rang into his mind. It was so clear that she might have $een standing $eside him. The headaches, they scare me, Andy. "ou&re doing something to yourself as well as to other (eo(le when you use that (ush or whatever you want to call.it. The thought was followed $y the image of a $alloon $eing $lown u( . . . and u( . . . and u( . . . and finally e-(loding with a loud $ang. He $egan to go over the left side of his face carefully, touching it everywhere with the ti(s of his right fingers. He looked like a man in a T< commercial marveling over the closeness of his shave. He found three s(ots * one $elow his left eye, one on his left cheek$one, and one +ust $elow the left tem(le * where there was no feeling at all. 6right drifted through the hollow (laces in his $ody like 5uiet early*evening mist. The fright was not so much for himself as it was for harlie, for what would ha((en to her if she got left on her own.
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As if he had called her, he could see her $eyond him in the mirror. &'addy)& She sounded a little scared. &"ou okay)& &6ine,& he said. His voice sounded good. There was no tremor in it/ nor was it too confident, falsely $ooming. &Just thinking how much I need a shave.& She (ut a hand over her mouth and giggled. &Scratchy like a .rillo (ad. "uck. 2ross.& He chased her into the $edroom and ru$$ed his scratchy cheek against her smooth one. harlie giggled and kicked. H As Andy was tickling his daughter with his stu$$ly $eard, 3rville Jamieson, aka 3J, aka The Juice, and another Sho( agent named .ruce ook were getting out of a light*$lue hevy outside the Hastings 'iner. 3J (aused for a moment, looking down 1ain Street with its slant (arking, its a((liance store, its grocery store, its two gas stations, its one drugstore, its wooden munici(al $uilding with a (la5ue out front commemorating some historical event no one gave a shit a$out. 1ain Street was also 8oute BG, and the 1c2ees were not four miles from where 3J and .ruce ook now stood. &Look at this $urg,& 3J said, disgusted. &I grew u( close to here. Town called Lowville. "ou ever hear of Lowville, !ew "ork)& .ruce ook shook his head. &It&s near >tica, too. Where they make >tica lu$ $eer. I was never so ha((y in my life as I was the day I got out of Lowville.& 3J reached under his +acket and read+usted The Windsucker in its holster. &There&s Tom and Steve,& .ruce said. Across the street, a light*$rown ,acer had (ulled into a (arking slot +ust vacated $y a farm truck. Two men in dark suits were getting out of the ,acer. They looked like $ankers. 6arther down the street, at the $linker light, two more Sho( (eo(le were talking to the old cunt that crossed the school kids at lunch time. They were showing her the (icture and she was shaking her head. There were ten Sho( agents here in Hastings 2len, all of them coordinating with !orville .ates, who was $ack in Al$any waiting for a(&s (ersonal ramrod, A% Steinowit=. &"eah, Lowville,& 3J sighed. &I ho(e we get those two suckers $y noon. And I ho(e my ne-t assignment&s 0arachi. 3r Iceland. Any (lace, as long as it&s not u(state !ew "ork. This is too close to Lowville. Too close for comfort.& &"ou think we will have them $y noon)& .ruce asked..3J shrugged. &We&ll have them $y the time the sun goes down. "ou can count on that.& They went into the diner, sat at the counter, and ordered coffee. A young waitress with a fine figure $rought it to them. &How long you $een on, sis)& 3J asked her. &If you got a sis, I (ity her,& the waitress said. &If there&s any family resem$lance, that is.& &'on&t $e that way, sis,& 3J said, and showed her his I'. She looked at it a long time. .ehind her, an aging +uvenile delin5uent in a motorcycle +acket was (ushing $uttons on a See$erg. &I $een on since seven,& she said. &Same as any other morning. ,rolly you want to talk to 1ike. He&s the owner.& She started to turn away and 3J caught her wrist in a tight gri(. He didn&t like women who made fun of his looks. 1ost women were sluts anyway, his mother had $een right a$out that even if she hadn&t $een right a$out much else. And his mother surely would have known what to think a$out a high * tit $itch like this one. &'id I say I wanted to talk to the owner, sis)& She was starting to $e frightened now, and that was okay with 3J. &!*no.& &That&s right. .ecause I want to talk to you, not to some guy that&s $een out in the kitchen scram$ling eggs and making Al(o$urgers all morning.& He took the (icture of Andy and harlie out of his (ocket and handed it to her, not letting go of her wrist. &"ou recogni=e them, sis) Serve them their $reakfast this morning, may$e)& &Let go. "ou&re hurting me.& All the color had gone out of her face e-ce(t for the whore&s rouge she had tricked herself u( with. ,ro$a$ly she had $een a cheerleader in high school. The kind of girl who laughed at 3rville Jamieson when he asked them out $ecause he had $een (resident of the hess lu$ instead of 5uarter$ack on the foot$all team. .unch of chea( Lowville whores. 2od, he hated !ew "ork. 4ven !ew "ork ity was too fucking close. &"ou tell me if you waited on them or if you didn&t. Then I&ll let go. Sis.& She looked $riefly at the (icture. &!o7 I didn&t. !ow let * & &"ou didn&t look long enough sis. "ou $etter look again.& She looked again. &!o7 !o7& she said loudly. &I&ve never seen them7 Let me go, can&t you)& The elderly +d in the cut*rate 1ammoth 1art leather +acket sauntered over, =i((ers +ingling, thum$s hooked in his (ants (ockets. &"ou&re $othering the lady,& he said. .ruce ook ga=ed at him with o(en, wide*eyed contem(t. &.e careful we don&t decide to $other you ne-t, (i==a*face,& he said. &3h,& the old kid in the leather +acket said, and his voice was suddenly very small. He moved away 5uickly, a((arently remem$ering that he had (ressing $usiness on the street. Two old ladies in a $ooth were nervously watching the little scene at the counter. A $ig man in reasona$ly clean cook&s whites * 1ike, the owner, (resuma$ly * was standing in the kitchen doorway, also watching. He held a $utcher knife in one hand, $ut he held it with no great authority. &What do you guys want)& he asked. &They&re feds,& the waitress said nervously. &They * & &'idn&t serve them) "ou&re sure)& 3J asked. &Sis)& &I&m sure,& she said. She was nearly crying now..&"ou $etter $e. A mistake can get you five years in +ail, sis.&
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&I&m sure,& she whis(ered. A tear s(illed over the $ottom curve of one eye and sli((ed down her cheek. &,lease let go. 'on&t hurt me anymore.& 3J s5uee=ed tighter for one $rief moment, liking the feel of the small $ones moving under his hand, liking the knowledge that he could s5uee=e harder yet and sna( them . . and then he let go. The diner was silent e-ce(t for the voice of Stevie Wonder coming from the See$erg, assuring the frightened (atrons of the Hastings 'iner that they could feel it all over. Then the two old ladies got u( and left in a hurry. 3J (icked u( his coffee cu(, leaned over the counter, (oured the coffee on the floor, and then dro((ed the cu(, which shattered. Thick china shra(nel s(rayed in a do=en different directions. The waitress was crying o(enly now. &Shitty $rew,& 3J said. The owner made a halfhearted gesture with the knife, and 3J&s face seemed to light u(. & ome on, man,& he said, half*laughing. & ome on. Let&s see you try.& 1ike (ut the knife down $eside the toaster and suddenly cried out in shame and outrage; &I fought in <ietnam7 1y $rother fought in <ietnam7 I&m gonna write my congressman a$out this7 "ou wait and see if I don&t7& 3J looked at him. After a while 1ike lowered his eyes, scared. The two of them went out. The waitress scooched and $egan to (ick u( $roken (ieces of coffee cu(, so$$ing. 3utside, .ruce said, &How many motels)& &Three motels, si- sets of tourist ca$ins,& 3J said, looking down toward the $linker. It fascinated him. In the Lowville of his youth there had $een a diner with a (la5ue over the dou$le Sile- hot(late and that (la5ue had read I6 "3> '3!&T LI04 3>8 T3W!, L330 638 A TI14TA.L4. How many times had he longed to (ull that (la5ue off the wall and stuff& it down someone&s throat) &There are (eo(le checking them out,& he said as they walked $ack toward their light*$lue hevrolet, (art of a government motor (ool (aid for and maintained $y ta- dollars &We&ll know soon now.& B John 1ayo was with an agent named 8ay 0nowles. They were on their way out along 8oute BG to the Slum$erland 1otel. They were driving a late model tan 6ord, and as they rode u( the last hill se(arating them from an actual view of the motel, a tire $lew. &Shit*fire,& John said as the car $egan to (ogo u( and down and drag to the right. &That&s fucking government issue for you. 6ucking retreads.& He (ulled over onto the soft shoulder and (ut on the 6ord&s four*way flashers. &"ou go on,& he said. &I&ll change the goddam tire.& &I&ll hel(,& 8ay said. &It won&t take us five minutes.& &!o, go on. It&s right over this hill, should $e.& &"ou sure)& &"eah. I&ll (ick you u(. >nless the s(are&s flat, too. It wouldn&t sur(rise me.& A rattling farm truck (assed them. It was the one 3J and .ruce ook had seen leaving.town as they stood outside the Hastings 'iner. 8ay grinned. &It $etter not $e. "ou&d have to (ut in a re5uisition in 5uadru(licate for a new one.& John didn&t grin $ack. &'on&t I know it,& he said glumly. They went around to the trunk and 8ay unlocked it. The s(are was in good sha(e. &3kay,& John said. &2o on.& &It really wouldn&t take $ut five minutes to change that sucker.& &Sure, and those two aren&t at that motel. .ut let&s (lay it as if it were real. After all, they have to $e somewhere.& &"eah, okay.& John took the +ack and s(are out of the trunk. 8ay 0nowles watched him for a moment and then started walking along the shoulder toward the Slum$erland 1otel. I Just $eyond the motel, Andy and harlie 1c2ee were standing on the soft shoulder of Highway BG. Andy&s worries that someone might notice he didn&t have a car had (roved groundless/ the woman in the office was interested in nothing $ut the small Hitachi T< on the counter. A miniature ,hil 'onahue had $een ca(tured inside, and the woman was watching him avidly. She swe(t the key Andy offered into the mail slot without even looking away from the (icture. &Ho(e y&en+oyed y&stay,& she said. She was working on a $o- of chocolate coconut doughnuts and had got to the halfway mark. &Sure did,& Andy said, and left. harlie was waiting for him outside. The woman had given him a car$on co(y of his $ill, which he stuffed into the side (ocket of his cord +acket as he went down the ste(s. hange from the Al$any (ay (hones +ingled mutedly. &3kay, 'addy)& harlie asked as they moved away toward the road. &Lookin good,& he said, and (ut an arm around her shoulders. To their right and $ack over the hill, 8ay 0nowles and John 1ayo had +ust had their flat tire. &Where are we going, 'addy)& harlie asked. &I don&t know,& he said. &I don&t like it. I feel nervous.& &I think we&re well ahead of them,& he said. &'on&t worry. They&re (ro$a$ly still looking for the ca$ driver who took us to Al$any.& .ut he was whistling (ast the graveyard/ he knew it and (ro$a$ly harlie did, too. Just standing here $eside the road made him feel e-(osed, like a cartoon +ail$ird in a stri(ed suit. @uit it, he told himself. !e-t thing you&ll $e thinking they&re everywhere * one $ehind every tree and a $unch of them right over the ne-t hill. Hadn&t some$ody said that
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(erfect (aranoia and (erfect awareness were the same thing) & harlie * & he $egan. &Let&s go to 2ranther&s,& she said. He looked at her, startled. His dream rushed $ack at him, the dream of fishing in the rain, the rain that had turned into the sound of harlie&s shower. &What made you think of that)& he asked. 2ranther had died long $efore harlie was $orn. He had lived his whole.life in Tashmore, <ermont, a town +ust west of the !ew Ham(shire $order. When 2ranther died, the (lace on the lake went to Andy&s mother, and when she died, it came to Andy. The town would have taken it for $ack ta-es long since, e-ce(t that 2ranther had left a small sum in trust to cover them. Andy and <icky had gone u( there once a year during the summer vacation until harlie was $orn. It was twenty miles off the nearest two*lane road, in wooded, un(o(ulated country. In the summer there were all sorts of (eo(le on Tashmore ,ond, which was really a lake with the small town of .radford, !ew Ham(shire, on the far side. .ut $y this time of year all the summer cam(s would $e em(ty. Andy dou$ted if the road in was even (lowed in the winter. &I don&t know,& harlie said. &It +ust . . . came into my mind. This minute.& 3n the other side of the hill, John 1ayo was o(ening the trunk of the 6ord and making his ins(ection of the s(are tire. &I dreamed a$out 2ranther this morning,& Andy said slowly. &6irst time I&d thought a$out him in a year or more, I guess. So I su((ose you could say he +ust came into my head, too.& &Was it a good dream, 'addy)& &"es,& he said, and smiled a little. &"es, it was.& &Well, what do you think)& &I think it&s a great idea,& Andy said. &We can go there and stay for a while and think a$out what we should do. How we should handle this. I was thinking if we could get to a news(a(er and tell our story so that a lot of (eo(le knew a$out it, they&d have to lay off.& An old farm truck was rattling toward them, and Andy stuck out his thum$. 3n the other side of the hill, 8ay 0nowles was walking u( the soft shoulder of the road. The farm truck (ulled over, and a guy wearing $i$alls and a !ew "ork 1ets $ase$all ca( looked out. &Well there&s a (urty little miss,& he said, smiling. &What&s your name, missy)& &8o$erta,& harlie said (rom(tly. 8o$erta was her middle name. &Well, .o$$i, where you headed this morning)& the driver asked. &We&re on our way to <ermont,& Andy said. &St. Johns$ury. 1y wife was visiting her sister and she ran into a little (ro$lem.& &'id she now,& the farmer said, and said no more, $ut ga=ed at Andy shrewdly from the corners of his eyes. &La$or,& Andy said, and manufactured a wide smile. &This one&s got a new $rother. 3ne*forty* one this morning.& &His name is Andy,& harlie said. &Isn&t that a nice name)& &I think it&s a corker,& the farmer said. &"ou ho( on in here and I&ll get you ten miles closer to St. Johns$ury, anyhow.& They got in and the farm truck rattled and rum$led $ack onto the road, headed into the $right morning sunlight. At the same time, 8ay 0nowles was $reasting the hill. He saw an em(ty highway leading down to the Slum$erland 1otel. .eyond the 1otel, he saw the farm truck that had (assed their car a few minutes ago +ust disa((earing from view. He saw no need to hurry..D The farmer&s name was 1anders * Irv 1anders. He had +ust taken a load of (um(kins into town, where he had a deal with the fellow who ran the AM,. He told them that he used to deal with the 6irst !ational, $ut the fellow over there +ust had no understanding a$out (um(kins. A +um(ed*u( meat cutter and no more, was the o(inion of Irv 1anders. The AM, manager, on the other hand, was a corker. He told them that his wife ran a touristy sort of sho( in the summertime, and he ke(t a roadside (roduce stand, and $etween the two of them they got along right smart. &"ou won&t like me minding your $eeswa-,& Irv 1anders told Andy, &$ut you and your $utton here shouldn&t $e thum$in. Lord, no. !ot with the sort of (eo(le you find ramming the roads these days. There&s a 2reyhound terminal in the drugstore $ack in Hastings 2len. That&s what you want.& &Well * & Andy said. He was non(lussed, $ut harlie ste((ed neatly into the $reach. &'addy&s out of work,& she said $rightly. &That&s why my mommy had to go and stay with Auntie 4m to have the $a$y. Auntie 4m doesn&t like 'addy. So we stayed at home. .ut now we&re going to see 1ommy. 8ight, 'addy)& &That&s sort of (rivate stuff, .o$$i,& Andy said, sounding uncomforta$le. He felt uncomforta$le. There were a thousand holes in harlie&s story. &'on&t you say another word,& Irv said. &I know a$out trou$le in families. It can get (retty $itter at times. And I know a$out $eing hard*u(. It ain&t no shame.& Andy cleared his throat $ut said nothing. He could think of nothing to say. They rode in silence for a while. &Say, why don&t you two come home and take lunch with me and the wife)& Irv asked suddenly. &3h no, we couldn&t do * & &We&d $e ha((y to,& harlie said. &Wouldn&t we, 'addy)& He knew that harlie&s intuitions were usually good ones, and he was too mentally and (hysically worn down to go against her now. She was a self (ossessed and aggressive little girl, and more than once Andy had wondered to himself +ust who was running this show.
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&If you&re sure there&s enough * & he said. &Always enough,& Irv 1anders said, finally shifting the farm truck into third gear. They were rattling $etween autumn*$right trees; ma(les, elms, (o(lars. &2lad to have you.& &Thank you very much,& harlie said. &1y (leasure, $utton,& Irv said. &.e my wife&s, too, when she gets a look at you.& harlie smiled. Andy ru$$ed his tem(les. .eneath the fingers of his left hand was one of those (atches of skin where the nerves seemed to have died. He didn&t feel good a$out this, somehow. That feeling that they were closing in was still very much with him. K The woman who had checked Andy out of the Slum$erland 1otel not twenty minutes ago was getting nervous. She had forgotten all a$out ,hil 'onahue..&"ou&re sure this was the man,& 8ay 0nowles was saying for the third time. She didn&t like this small, trim, somehow tight man. 1ay$e he worked for the government, $ut that was no comfort to Lena unningham. She didn&t like his narrow face, she didn&t like the lines around his cool $lue eyes, and most of all she didn&t like the way he ke(t shoving that (icture under her nose. &"es, that was him,& she said again. &.ut there was no little girl with him. Honest, mister. 1y hus$and&ll tell you the same. He works nights. It&s got so we hardly ever see each other, e-ce(t at su((er. He&ll tell * & The other man came $ack in, and with ever*mounting alarm, Lena saw that he had a walkie*talkie in one hand and a great $ig (istol in the other. &It was them,& John 1ayo said. He was almost hysterical with anger and disa((ointment. &Two (eo(le sle(t in that $ed. .lond hairs on one (illow, $lack on the other. 2oddam that flat tire7 2oddam it all to hell7 'am( towels hanging on the rod in the $athroom7 6ucking shower&s still dri((ing7 We missed them $y may$e five minutes, 8ay7& He +ammed the (istol $ack into its shoulder holster. &I&ll get my hus$and,& Lena said faintly. &!ever mind,& 8ay said. He took John&s arm and led him outside. John was still swearing a$out the flat. &6orget the tire, John. 'id you talk to 3J $ack in town)& &I talked to him and he talked to !orville. !orville&s on his way from Al$any, and he&s got Al Steinowit= with him. He landed not ten minutes ago.& &Well, that&s good. Listen, think a minute, Johnny. They must have $een hitching.& &"eah, I guess so. >nless they $oosted a car.& &The guy&s an 4nglish instructor. He wouldn&t know how to $oost a candy $ar out of a concession stand in a home for the $lind. They were hitching, all right. They hitched from Al$any last night. They hitched this morning. I&d $et you this year&s salary that they were standing there $y the side of the road with their thum$s out while I was walking u( that hill.& &If it hadn&t $een for that flat * & John&s eyes were misera$le $ehind his wire*framed glasses. He saw a (romotion fla((ing away on slow, la=y wings. &6uck the flat7& 8ay said. &What (assed us) After we got the flat, what (assed us)& John thought a$out it as he hooked the walkie*talkie $ack on his $elt. &6arm truck,& he said. &That&s what I remem$er, too,& 8ay said. He glanced around and saw Lena unningham&s large moon face (eering out the motel office window at them. She saw him seeing her and the curtain fell $ack into (lace. &,retty rickety truck,& 8ay said. &If they don&t turn off the main road, we ought to $e a$le to catch u( to them.& &Let&s go, then,& John said. &We can kee( in touch with A% and !orville $y way of 3J on the walkie*talkie.& They trotted $ack to the car and got in. A moment later the tan 6ord roared out of the (arking lot, s(ewing white crushed gravel out from $eneath its rear tires; Lena unningham watched them go with relief. 8unning a motel was not what it once had $een. She went $ack to wake u( her hus$and.. A As the 6ord with 8ay 0nowles $ehind the wheel and John 1ayo riding shotgun was roaring down 8oute BG at $etter than seventy miles an hour 9and as a caravan of ten or eleven similar nondescri(t late*model cars were heading towards Hastings 2len from the surrounding areas of search:, Irv 1anders hand*signaled left and turned off the highway onto an unmarked stretch of tar*and*(atch that headed roughly northeast. The truck rattled and $anged along. At his urging, harlie had sung most of her nine*song re(ertoire, including such golden hits as &Ha((y .irthday to "ou,& &This 3ld 1an,& &Jesus Loves 1e,& and & am(town 8aces.& Irv and Andy $oth sang along with that one. The road twisted and wound its way over a series of increasingly wooded ridges and then $egan to descend toward flatter country that had $een cultivated and harvested. 3nce a (artridge $urst from a cover of goldenrod and old hay at the left side of the road and Irv shouted, &2et im, .o$$i7& and harlie (ointed her finger and chanted &.am*$a*'A17&& and then giggled wildly. A few minutes later Irv turned off on a dirt road, and a mile farther along they came to a $attered red, white, and $lue mail$o- with 1A!'48S stenciled on the side. Irv turned into a rutted driveway that was nearly half a mile long. &1ust cost you an arm and a leg to kee( it (lowed in the winter,& Andy said. &'o it m&self,& Irv said. They came to a $ig white frame farmhouse, three stories tall and set off& with mint*green trim. To Andy it looked like the sort of house that might have started off fairly ordinary and then grown eccentric as the years (assed. Two sheds were attached to the
40
rear, one of them =igging thisaway, the other =agging thataway. 3n the south side, a greenhouse wing had $een added, and a $ig screened*in (orch stood out from the north side like a stiff skirt. .ehind the house was a red $arn that had seen $etter days, and $etween the house and the $arn was what !ew 4nglanders called a dooryard * a flat dirt stretch of ground where a cou(le of do=en chickens clucked and strutted. When the truck rattled toward them they fled, s5uawking and fluttering their useless wings, (ast a cho((ing $lock with an a- $uried in it. Irv drove the truck into the $arn, which had, a sweet hay smell Andy remem$ered from his summers in <ermont. When Irv switched the truck off, they all heard a low, musical mooing from somewhere dee(er in the $arn&s shadowy interior. &"ou got a cow,& harlie said, and something like ra(ture came over her face. &I can hear it.& &We&ve got three,& Irv said. &That&s .ossy you hear * a very original name, wouldn&t you say, $utton) She thinks she&s got to $e milked three times a day. "ou can see her later, if your daddy says you can.& & an I, 'addy)& &I guess so,& Andy said, mentally surrendering. Somehow they had gone out $eside the road to thum$ a ride and had got shanghaied instead. & ome on in and meet the wife.& They strolled across the dooryard, (ausing for harlie to e-amine as many of the chickens as she could get close to. The $ack door o(ened and a woman of a$out forty*.five came out onto the $ack ste(s. She shaded her eyes and called, &"ou there, Irv7 Who you $rought home)& Irv smiled. &Well, the $utton here is 8o$erta. This fellow is her daddy. I didn&t catch his name yet, so I dunno if we&re related.& Andy ste((ed forward and said, &I&m 6rank .urton, ma&am. "our hus$and invited .o$$i and me home for lunch, if that&s all right. We&re (leased to know you.& &1e too,& harlie said, still more interested in the chickens than in the woman * at least for the moment. &I&m !orma 1anders,& she said. & ome in. "ou&re welcome.& .ut Andy saw the (u==led look she threw at her hus$and. They all went inside, through an entryway where stovelengths were stacked head high and into a huge kitchen that was dominated $y a woodstove and a long ta$le covered with red and white checked oilcloth. There was an elusive smell of fruit and (araffin in the air. The smell of canning, Andy thought. &6rank here and his $utton are on their way to <ermont,& Irv said. &I thought it wouldn&t hurt em to get outside of a little hot food on their way.& &3f course not,& she agreed. &Where is your car, 1r. .urton)& &Well * & Andy $egan. He glanced at harlie, $ut she was going to $e no hel(/ she was walking around the kitchen in small ste(s, looking at everything with a child&s frank curiosity. &6rank&s had a little trou$le,& Irv said, looking directly at his wife. &.ut we don&t have to talk a$out that. At least, not right now.& &All right,& !orma said. She had a sweet and direct face * a handsome woman who was used to working hard. Her hands were red and cha((ed. &I&ve got chicken and I could (ut together a nice salad. And there&s lots of milk. 'o you like milk, 8o$erta)& harlie didn&t look around. She&s la(sed on the name, Andy thought. 3h, Jesus, this +ust gets $etter and $etter. &.o$$i7& he said loudly. She looked around then, and smiled a little too widely. &3h, sure,& she said. &I love milk.& Andy saw a warning glance (ass from Irv to his wife; !o 5uestions, not now. He felt a sinking des(air. Whatever had $een left of their story had +ust gone swirling away. .ut there was nothing to do e-ce(t sit down to lunch and wait to see what Irv 1anders had on his mind. C &How far from the motel are we)& John 1ayo asked. 8ay glanced down at the odometer. &Seventeen miles,& he said, and (ulled over. &That&s * far enough.& &.ut may$e * & &!o, if we were going to catch them, we would have $y now. We&ll go on $ack and rende=vous with the others.& John struck the heel of his hand against the dash$oard. &They turned off somewhere,& he said. &That goddam flat shoe7 This +o$&s $een $ad luck from the start, 8ay. An egghead.and a little girl. And we kee( missing them.& &!o, I think we&ve got them,& 8ay said, and took out his walkie*talkie. He (ulled the antenna and ti((ed it out the window. &We&ll have a cordon around the whole area in half an hour. And I $et we don&t hit a do=en houses $efore someone around here recogni=es that truck. Late*si-ties dark*green International Harvester, snow(low attachment on the front, wooden stakes around the truck $ed to hold on a high load. I still think we&ll have them $y dark.& A moment later he was talking to A% Steinowit=, who was nearing the Slum$erland 1otel. A% $riefed his agents in turn. .ruce ook remem$ered the farm truck from town. 3J did, too. It had $een (arked in front of the AM,. A% sent them $ack to town, and half an hour later they all knew that the truck that had almost certainly sto((ed to give the two fugitives a lift $elonged to Irving 1anders, 86' I, .aillings 8oad, Hastings 2len, !ew "ork. It was +ust (ast twelve*thirty ,.1.
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%G The lunch was very nice, harlie ate like a horse * three hel(ings of chicken with gravy, two of !orma 1anders&s hot $iscuits, a side dish of salad, and three of her home*canned dill (ickles. They finished off with slices of a((le (ie garnished with wedges of cheddar * Irv offering his o(inion that &A((le (ie without a (iece of cheese is like a smooch without a s5uee=e.& This earned him an affectionate el$ow in the side from his wife. Irv rolled his eyes, and harlie laughed. Andy&s a((etite sur(rised him. harlie $elched and then covered her mouth guiltily. Irv smiled at her. &1ore room out than there is in, $utton.& &If I eat any more, I think I&ll s(lit,& harlie answered. &That&s what my mother always used to . . . I mean, that&s what she always says.& Andy smiled tiredly. &!orma,& Irv said, getting u(, &why don&t you and .o$$i go on out and feed those chickens)& &Well, lunch is still s(read over half an acre,& !orma said. &I&ll (ick u( lunch,& Irv said. &Want to have a little talk with 6rank, here.& &Would you like to feed the chickens, honey)& !orma asked harlie. &I sure would.& Her eyes were s(arkling. &Well, come on then. 'o you have a +acket) It&s turned a $it chilly.& &>h . . .& harlie looked at Andy. &"ou can $orrow a sweater of mine,& !orma said. That look (assed $etween her and Irv again. &8oll the sleeves u( a little $it and it will $e fine.& &3kay.& !orma got an old and faded warmu( +acket from the entryway and a frayed white sweater that harlie floated in, even with the cuff&s turned u( three or four times. &'o they (eck)& harlie asked a little nervously. &3nly their food, honey.& They went out and the door closed $ehind them. harlie was still chattering. Andy looked at Irv 1anders, and Irv looked $ack calmly..&"ou want a $eer, 6rank)& &It isn&t 6rank,& Andy said. &I guess you know that.& &I guess I do. What is your handle)& Andy said, &The less you know, the $etter off you are.& &Well, then,& Irv said, &I&ll +ust call you 6rank.& 6aintly, they heard harlie s5ueal with delight from outside. !orma said something, and harlie agreed. &I guess I could use a $eer,& Andy said. &3kay.& Irv got two >tica lu$s from the refrigerator, o(ened them, set Andy&s on the ta$le and his on the counter. He got an a(ron from a hook $y the sink and (ut it on. The a(ron was red and yellow and the hem was flounced, $ut somehow he managed to avoid looking silly. & an I hel( you)& Andy asked. &!o, I know where everything goes,& Irv said. &1ost everything, anyhow. She changes things from week to week. !o woman wants a man to feel right at home in her kitchen. They like hel(, sure, $ut they feel $etter if you have to ask them where to (ut the casserole dish or where they (ut the .rillo.& Andy, remem$ering his own days as <icky&s kitchen a((rentice, smiled and nodded. &1eddling around in other folk&s $usiness isn&t my strong (oint,& Irv said, drawing water in the kitchen sink and adding detergent. &I&m a farmer, and like I told you, my wife runs a little curio sho( down where .aillings 8oad crosses the Al$any Highway. We&ve $een here almost twenty years.& He glanced $ack at Andy. &.ut I knew there was somethin wrong from the minute I saw you two standing $y the road $ack there. A grown man and a little girl +ust aren&t the kind of (air you usually see hitching the roads. 0now what I mean)& Andy nodded and si((ed his $eer. &6urthermore, it looked to me like you&d +ust come out of the Slum$erland, $ut you had no traveling gear, not so much as an overnight case. So I +ust a$out decided to (ass you $y. Then I sto((ed. .ecause . . . well, there&s a difference $etween not meddling in other folks& $usiness and seeing something that looks damn $ad and turning a $lind eye to it.& &Is that how we look to you) 'amn $ad)& &Then,& Irv said, &not now&. He was washing the old mismatched dishes carefully, stacking them in the drainer. &!ow I don&t know +ust what to make of you two. 1y first thought was it must $e you two the co(s are looking for.& He saw the change come over Andy&s face and the sudden way Andy set his $eer can down. &I guess it is you,& he said softly. &I was ho(in it wasn&t.& &What co(s)& Andy asked harshly. &They&ve got all the main roads $locked off coming in and out of Al$any,& Irv said. &If we&d gone another si- miles u( 8oute 6orty, we would have run on one of those $locks right where 6orty crosses 8oute !ine.& &Well, why didn&t you +ust go ahead)& Andy asked. &That would have $een the end of it for you. "ou would have $een out of it.& Irv was starting on the (ots now, (ausing to hunt through the cu($oards over the sink. &See what I was saying) I can&t find the gloriosky .rillo . . . Wait, here it is . . . Why didn&t.I +ust take you u( the road to the co(s) Let&s say I wanted to satisfy my own natural curiosity.& &"ou have some 5uestions, huh)& &All kinds of them,& Irv said. &A grown man and a little girl hitching rides, the little girl hasn&t got any overnight case, and the co(s are after them. So I have an idea. It isn&t so
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farfetched. I think that may$e here&s a daddy who wanted custody of his $utton and couldn&t get it. So he snatched her.& &It sounds (retty farfetched to me.& &Ha((ens all the time, 6rank. And I think to myself, the mommy didn&t like that so well and, swore out a warrant on the daddy. That would e-(lain all the road$locks. "ou only get coverage like that for a $ig ro$$ery . . . or a kidna((ing.& &She&s my daughter, $ut her mother didn&t (ut the (olice on us,& Andy said. &Her mother has $een dead for a year.& &Well, I&d already kind of shitcanned the idea,& Irv said. &It don&t take a (rivate eye to see the two of you are (retty close. Whatever else may $e going on, it doesn&t a((ear you&ve got her against her will.& Andy said nothing. &So here we are at my (ro$lem,& Irv said. &I (icked the two of you u( $ecause I thought the little girl might need hel(. !ow I don&t know where I&m at. "ou don&t strike me as the des(erado ty(e. .ut all the same, you and your little girl are going under false names, you&re telling a story that&s +ust as thin as a (iece of tissue (a(er, and you look sick, 6rank. "ou look +ust a$out as sick as a man can get and still stay on his feet. So those are my 5uestions. Any you could answer, it might $e a good thing.& &We came to Al$any from !ew "ork and hitched a ride to Hastings 2len early this morning,& Andy said. &It&s $ad to know they&re here, $ut I think I knew it. I think harlie knew it, too.& He had mentioned harlie&s name, and that was a mistake, $ut at this (oint it didn&t seem to matter. &What do they want you for, 6rank)& Andy thought for a long time, and then he met Irv&s frank gray eyes. He said; &"ou came from town, didn&t you) See any strange (eo(le there) ity ty(es) Wearing these neat, off*the*rack suits that you forget almost as soon as the guys wearing them are out of sight) 'riving late*model cars that sort of +ust fade into the scenery)& It was Irv&s turn to think. &There were two guys like that in the AM,,& he said. &Talking to Helga. She&s one of the checkers. Looked like they were showing her something.& &,ro$a$ly our (icture,& Andy said. &They&re government agents. They&re working with the (olice, Irv. A more accurate way of (utting it would $e that the (olice are working for them. The co(s don&t know why we&re wanted.& &What sort of government agency are we talking a$out) 6.I)& &!o. The Sho(.& &What) That IA outfit)& Irv looked frankly dis$elieving. &They don&t have anything at all to do with the IA,& Andy said. &The Sho( is really the 'SI * 'e(artment of Scientific Intelligence. I read in an article a$out three years ago that some wiseacre nicknamed it the Sho( in the early si-ties, after a science*fiction story called EThe Wea(on Sho(s of Ishtar.& .y a guy named van <ogt, I think, $ut that doesn&t matter. What they&re su((osed to $e involved in are domestic scientific (ro+ects which may have (resent or future a((lication to matters $earing on national security. That.definition is from their charter, and the thing they&re most associated with in the (u$lic mind is the energy research they&re funding and su(ervising * electromagnetic stuff& and fusion (ower. They&re actually involved in a lot more. harlie and I are (art of an e-(eriment that ha((ened a long time ago. It ha((ened $efore harlie was even $orn. Her mother was also involved. She was murdered. The Sho( was res(onsi$le.& Irv was silent for a while. He let the dishwater out of the sink, dried his hands, and then came over and $egan to wi(e the oilcloth that covered the ta$le. Andy (icked u( his $eer can. &I won&t say flat out that I don&t $elieve you,& Irv said finally. &!ot with some of the things that have gone on under cover in this country and then come out. IA guys giving (eo(le drinks s(iked with LS' and some 6.I agent accused of killing (eo(le during the ivil 8ights marches and money in $rown $ags and all of that. So I can&t say right out that I don&t $elieve you. Let&s +ust say you haven&t convinced me yet.& &I don&t think it&s even me that they really want anymore,& Andy said. &1ay$e it was, once. .ut they&ve shifted targets. It&s harlie they&re after now.& &"ou mean the national government is after a first* or second*grader for reasons of national security)& & harlie&s no ordinary second*grader,& Andy said. &Her mother and I were in+ected with a drug which was coded Lot Si-. To this day I don&t know e-actly what it was. Some sort of synthetic glandular secretion would $e my $est guess. It changed the chromosomes of myself and of the lady I later married. We (assed those chromosomes on to harlie, and they mi-ed in some entirely new way. If she could (ass them on to her children, I guess she&d $e called a mutant. If for some reason she can&t, or if the change has caused her to $e sterile, I guess she&d $e called a s(ort or a mule. 4ither way, they want her. They want to study her, see if they can figure out what makes her a$le to do what she can do. And even more, I think they want her as an e-hi$it. They want to use her to reactivate the Lot Si- (rogram.& &What is it she can do)& Irv asked. Through the kitchen window they could see !orma and harlie coming out of the $arn. The white sweater flo((ed and swung around harlie&s $ody, the hem coming down to her calves. There was high color in her cheeks, and she was talking to !orma, who was smiling and nodding. Andy said softly, &She can light fires.& &Well, so can I,& Irv said. He sat down again and was looking at Andy in a (eculiar, cautious way. The way you look at (eo(le you sus(ect of madness. &She can do it sim(ly $y thinking a$out it,& Andy said. &The technical name for it is (yrokinesis. It&s a (si talent, like tele(athy, telekinesis, or (recognition * harlie has a dash of some of those as well, $y the way * $ut (yrokinesis is much rarer . . . and much
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more dangerous. She&s very much afraid of it, and she&s right to $e. She can&t always control it. She could $urn u( your house, your $arn, or your front yard if she set her mind to it. 3r she could light your (i(e.& Andy smiled wanly. &4-ce(t that while she was lighting your (i(e, she might also $urn u( your house, your $arn, and your front yard.& Irv finished his $eer and said, &I think you ought to call the (olice and turn yourself in, 6rank. "ou need hel(.& &I guess it sounds (retty nutty, doesn&t it)& &"es,& Irv said gravely. &It sounds nutty as anything I ever heard.& He was sitting lightly,.slightly tense on his chair, and Andy thought, He&s e-(ecting me to do something loony the first chance I get. &I su((ose it doesn&t matter much anyway,& Andy said. &They&ll $e here soon enough. I think the (olice would actually $e $etter. At least you don&t turn into an un(erson as soon as the (olice get their hands on you.& Irv started to re(ly, and then the door o(ened. !orma and harlie came in. harlie&s face was $right, her eyes s(arkling. &'addy7& she said. &'addy, I fed the * & She $roke off. Some of the color left her cheeks, and she looked narrowly from Irv 1anders to her father and $ack to Irv again. ,leasure faded from her face and was re(laced with a look of harried misery. The way she looked last night, Andy thought. The way she looked yesterday when I gra$$ed her out of school. It goes on and on, and where&s the ha((y ending for her) &"ou told,& she said. &3h 'addy, why did you tell)& !orma ste((ed forward and (ut a (rotective arm around harlie&s shoulders. &Irv, what&s going on here)& &I don&t know,& Irv said. &What do you mean he told, .o$$i)& &That&s not my name,& she said. Tears had a((eared in her eyes. &"ou know that&s not my name.& & harlie,& Andy said. &1r. 1anders knew something was wrong. I told him, $ut he didn&t $elieve me. When you think a$out it, you&ll understand why.& &I don&t understand anyth * & harlie $egan, her voice rising stridently. Then she was 5uiet. Her head cocked sideways in a (eculiar listening gesture, although as far as any of the others could tell there was nothing to listen to. As they watched, harlie&s face sim(ly drained of color/ it was like watching some rich li5uid (oured out of a (itcher. &What&s the matter, honey)& !orma asked, and cast a worried glance at Irv. &They&re coming, 'addy,& harlie whis(ered. Her eyes were wide circles of fear. &They&re coming for us.& %% They had rende=voused at the corner of Highway BG and the unnum$ered $lackto( road Irv had turned down * on the Hastings 2len town ma(s it was marked as the 3ld .aillings 8oad. Al Steinowit= had finally caught u( with the rest of his men and had taken over 5uickly and decisively. There were si-teen of them in five cars. Heading u( the road toward Irv 1ander&s (lace, they looked like a fast*moving funeral (rocession. !orville .ates had handed over the reins * and the res(onsi$ility * of the o(eration to A% with genuine relief and with a 5uestion a$out the local and state (olice who had $een rung in on the o(eration. &We&re kee(ing this one dark for now,& A% said. &If we get them, we&ll tell them they can fold their road$locks. If we don&t, we&ll tell them to start moving in toward the centre of the circle. .ut $etween you and me, if we can&t handle them with si-teen men, we can&t handle them, !orv.& !orv sensed the mild re$uke and said no more. He knew it would $e $est to take the two of them with no outside interference, $ecause Andrew 1c2ee was going to have an unfortunate accident as soon as they got him. A fatal accident. With no $luesuits hanging.around, it could ha((en that much sooner. Ahead of him and Al, the $rakelights of 3J&s car flashed $riefly, and then the car turned onto a dirt road. The others followed. %? &I don&t understand any of this,& !orma said. &.o$$i . . . harlie . . . can&t you calm down)& &"ou don&t understand,& harlie said. Her voice was high and strangled. Looking at her made Irv +um(y. Her face was like that of a ra$$it caught in a snare. She (ulled free of !orma&s arm and ran to her father, who (ut his hands on her shoulders. &I think they&re going to kill you, 'addy,& she said. &What)& &0ill you,& she re(eated. Her eyes were staring and gla=ed with (anic. Her mouth worked frantically. &We have to run. We have to * & Hot. Too hot in here. He glanced to his left. 1ounted on the wall $etween the stove and the sink was an indoor thermometer, the kind that can $e (urchased from any mail * order catalogue. At the $ottom of this one, a (lastic red devil with a (itchfork was grinning and mo((ing his $row. The motto $eneath his cloven hooves read; H3T 4!3>2H 638 "A) The mercury in the thermometer was slowly rising, an accusing red finger. &"es, that&s what they want to do,& she said. &0ill you, kill you like they did 1ommy, take me away, I won&t, I won&t let it ha((en, I won&t let it * & Her voice was rising. 8ising like the column of mercury. & harlie7 Watch what you&re doing7& Her eyes cleared a little. Irv and his wife had drawn together. &Irv . . . what * & .ut Irv had seen Andy&s glance at the thermometer, and suddenly he $elieved. It was hot in here now. Hot enough to sweat. The mercury in the thermometer stood +ust a$ove ninety degrees. &Holy Jesus hrist,& he said hoarsely. &'id she do that, 6rank)&
44
Andy ignored him. His hands were still on harlie&s shoulders. He looked into her eyes. & harlie * do you think it&s too late) How does it feel to you)& &"es,& she said. All the color was gone from her face. &They&re coming u( the dirt road now. 3h 'addy, I&m scared.& &"ou can sto( them, harlie,& he said 5uietly. She looked at him. &"es,& he said. &.ut * 'addy * it&s $ad. I know it is. I could kill them.& &"es,& he said. &1ay$e now it&s kill or $e killed. 1ay$e it&s come down to that.& &It&s not $ad)& Her voice was almost inaudi$le. &"es,& Andy said. &It is. !ever kid yourself that it isn&t. And don&t do it if you can&t handle it, harlie. !ot even for me.& They looked at each other, eye to eye, Andy&s eyes tired and $loodshot and frightened, harlie&s eyes wide, nearly hy(noti=ed. She said; &If I do . . . something . . . will you still love me)&.The 5uestion hung $etween them, la=ily revolving. & harlie,& he said, &I&ll always love you. !o matter what.& Irv had $een at the window and now he crossed the room to them. &I think I got some tall a(ologi=ing to do,& he said. &There&s a whole line of cars coming u( the road. I&ll stand with you, if you want. I got my deer gun.& .ut he looked suddenly frightened, almost sick. harlie said; &"ou don&t need your gun.& She sli((ed out from under her father&s hands and walked across to the screen door, in !orma 1anders&s knitted white sweater looking even smaller than she was. She let herself out. After a moment, Andy found his feet and went after her. His stomach felt fro=en, as if he&d +ust go$$led a huge 'airy @ueen cone in three $ites. The 1anderses stayed $ehind. Andy caught one last look at the man&s $affled, frightened face, and a random thought * that&ll teach you to (ick u( hitchhikers * darted across his consciousness. Then he and harlie were on the (orch, watching the first of the cars turn u( the long driveway. The hens s5uawked and fluttered. In the $arn, .ossy mooed again for someone to come and milk her. And thin 3cto$er sunshine lay over the wooded ridges and autumn*$rown fields of this small u(state*!ew "ork town. It had $een almost a year of running, and Andy was sur(rised to find an odd sense of relief mi-ed in with his shar( terror. He had heard that in its e-tremity, even a ra$$it will sometimes turn and face the dogs, driven $ack to some earlier, less meek nature at the instant $efore it must $e torn a(art. At any rate, it was good not to $e running. He stood with harlie, the sunshine mellow on her $lond hair. &3h 'addy,& she moaned. &I can&t hardly stand u(.& He (ut his arm around her shoulders and (ulled her more tightly against his side. The first car sto((ed at the head of the dooryard and two men got out. %H &Hi, Andy,& A% Steinowit= said, and smiled. &Hi, harlie.& His hands were em(ty, $ut his coat was o(en. .ehind him the other man stood alertly $y the car, hands at his sides. The second car sto((ed $ehind the first and four more men s(illed out. All the cars were sto((ing, all the men getting out. Andy counted a do=en and then sto((ed counting. &2o away,& harlie said. Her voice was thin and high in the cool early afternoon. &"ou&ve led us a merry chase,& A% said to Andy. He looked at harlie. &Honey, you don&t have to * & &2o away7& she screamed. A% shrugged and smiled disarmingly. &6raid I can&t do that, honey. I have my orders. !o one wants to hurt you or your daddy.& &"ou liar7 "ou&re s&(osed to kill him7 I know it7& Andy s(oke and was a little sur(rised to find that his voice was com(letely steady. &I advise you to do as my daughter says. "ou&ve surely $een $riefed enough to know why she&s wanted. "ou know a$out the soldier at the air(ort.& 3J and !orville .ates e-changed a sudden uneasy look. &If you&ll +ust get in the car, we can discuss all of this,& A% said. &Honest to gosh, there&s.nothing going on here e-ce(t * & &We know what&s going on,& Andy said. The men who had $een in the last two or three cars were $eginning to fan out and stroll, almost casually toward the (orch. &,lease,& harlie said to the man with the strangely yellow face. &'on&t make me do anything.& &It&s no good, harlie,& Andy said. Irv 1anders came out onto the (orch. &"ou men are tres(assing,& he said. &I want you to get the hell off my (ro(erty.& Three of the Sho( men had come u( the front ste(s of the (orch and were now standing less than ten yards away from Andy and harlie, to their left. harlie threw them a warning, des(erate glance and they sto((ed * for the moment. &We&re government agents, sir,& A% Steinowit= said to Irv in a low, courteous voice. &These two folks are wanted for 5uestioning. !othing more.& &I don&t care if they&re wanted for assassinating the ,resident,& Irv said. His voice was high, cracking. &Show me your warrant or get the hrist off my (ro(erty.& &We don&t need a warrant,& Al said. His voice was edged with steel now. &"ou do unless I woke u( in 8ussia this morning,& Irv said. &I&m telling you to get off, and you $etter get high*ste((in, mister. That&s my last word on it.& &Irv, come inside7& !orma cried. Andy could feel something $uilding in the air, $uilding u( around harlie like an electric charge. The hair on his arms suddenly $egan to stir and move, like kel( in an invisi$le tide. He looked down at her and saw her face, so small, now so strange.
45
It&s coming, he thought hel(lessly. It&s coming, oh my 2od it really is. &2et out7& he shouted at Al. &'on&t you understand what she&s going to do) an&t you feel it) 'on&t $e a fool, man7& &,lease,& Al said. He looked at the three men standing at the far end of the (orch and nodded to them im(erce(ti$ly. He looked $ack at Andy. &If we can only discuss this * & &Watch it, 6rank7& Irv 1anders screamed. The three men at the end of the (orch suddenly charged at them, (ulling their guns as they came. &Hold it, hold it7& one of them yelled. &Just stand still7 Hands over your * & harlie turned toward them. As she did so, half a do=en other men, John 1ayo and 8ay 0nowles among them, $roke for the (orch&s $ack ste(s with their guns drawn. harlie&s eyes widened a little, and Andy felt something hot (ass $y him in a warm (uff of air. The three men at the front end of the (orch had got halfway toward them when their hair caught on fire. A gun $oomed, deafeningly loud, and a s(linter of wood (erha(s eight inches long +um(ed from one of the (orch&s su((orting (osts. !orma 1anders screamed, and Andy flinched. .ut harlie seemed not to notice. Her face was dreamy and thoughtful. A small 1ona Lisa smile had touched the corners of her mouth. She&s en+oying this, Andy thought with something like horror. Is that why she&s so afraid of it) .ecause she likes it) harlie was turning $ack toward Al Steinowit= again. The three men he had sent running down toward Andy and harlie from the front end of the (orch had forgotten their duty to 2od, country, and the Sho(. They were $eating at the flames on their heads.and yelling. The (ungent smell of fried hair suddenly filled the afternoon. Another gun went off. A window shattered. &!ot the girl7& A% shouted. &!ot the girl7& Andy was sei=ed roughly. The (orch swirled with a confusion of men. He was dragged toward the railing through the chaos. Then someone tried to (ull him a different way. He felt like a tug*of*war ro(e. &Let him go7& Irv 1anders shouted, $ull throated. &Let him * & Another gun went off and suddenly !orma was screaming again, screaming her hus$and&s name over and over. harlie was looking down at Al Steinowit=, and suddenly the cold, confident look was gone from Al&s face and he was in terror. His yellow com(le-ion grew (ositively cheesy. &!o, don&t,& he said in an almost conversational tone of voice. &'on&t * & It was im(ossi$le to tell where the flames $egan Suddenly his (ants and his s(ortcoat were $la=ing. His hair was a $urning $ush. He $acked u(, screaming, $ounced off the side of his car, and half turned to !orville .ates, his arms stretched out. Andy felt that soft rush of heat again, a dis(lacement of air, as if a hot slug thrown at rocket s(eed had +ust (assed his nose. Al Steinowit=&s face caught on fire. 6or a moment he was all there, screaming silently under a trans(arent caul of flame, and then his features were $lending, merging, running like tallow. !orville shrank away from him. Al Steinowit= was a flaming scarecrow. He staggered $lindly down the driveway, waving his arms, and then colla(sed facedown $eside the third car. He didn&t look like a man at all/ he looked like a $urning $undle of rags. The (eo(le on the (orch had fro=en, staring dum$ly at this une-(ected $la=ing develo(ment. The three men whose hair harlie had fired had all managed to (ut themselves out. They were all going to look decidedly strange in the future 9however short that might $e:/ their hair, short $y regulation, now looked like $lackened, tangled clots of ash on to( of their heads. &2et out,& Andy said hoarsely. &2et out 5uickly. She&s never done anything like this $efore and I don&t know if she can sto(.& &I&m all right, 'addy,& harlie said. Her voice was calm, collected, and strangely indifferent. &4verything&s okay.& And that was when the cars $egan to e-(lode. They all went u( from the rear/ later, when Andy re(layed the incident at the 1anders farm in his mind, he was 5uite sure of that. They all went u( from the rear, where the gas tanks were. Al&s light*green ,lymouth went first, e-(loding with a muffled whrrr*rum(7 sound. A $all of flame rose from the $ack of the ,lymouth, too $right to look at. The rear window $lew in. The 6ord John and 8ay had come in went ne-t, $arely two seconds later. Hooks of metal whickered through the air and (attered on the roof. & harlie7& Andy shouted. & harlie, sto( it7& She said in that same calm voice; &I can&t.& The third car went u(. Someone ran. Someone else followed him. The men on the (orch $egan to $ack away. Andy was tugged again, he resisted, and suddenly no one at all was holding him. And suddenly they were all running, their faces white, eyes stare*$lind with (anic. 3ne of the.men with the charred hair tried to vault over the railing, caught his foot, and fell headfirst into a small side garden where !orma had grown $eans earlier in the year. The stakes for the $eans to clim$ on were still there, and one of them rammed through this fellow&s throat and came out the other side with a wet (unching sound that Andy never forgot. He twitched in the garden like a landed trout, the $ean*(ole (rotruding from his neck like the shaft of an arrow, $lood gushing down the front of his shirt as he made weak gargling sounds. The rest of the cars went u( then like an ear shattering string of firecrackers. Two of the fleeing men were tossed aside like ragdolls $y the concussion, one of them on fire from the waist down, the other (e((ered with $its of safety glass.
46
'ark, oily smoke rose in the air. .eyond the driveway, the far hills and fields twisted and writhed through the heat*shimmer as if recoiling in horror. hickens ran madly everywhere, clucking cra=ily. Suddenly three of them e-(loded into flame and went rushing off, $alls of fire with feet, to colla(se on the far side of the dooryard. & harlie, sto( it right now7 Sto( it7& A trench of fire raced across the dooryard on a diagonal, the very dirt $la=ing in a single straight line, as if a train of gun(owder had $een laid. The flame reached the cho((ing $lock with Irv&s a- $uried in it, made a fairy*ring around it, and suddenly colla(sed inward. The cho((ing $lock whooshed into flame. & HA8LI4 638 H8IST&S SA047& Some Sho( agent&s (istol was lying on the verge of grass $etween the (orch and the $la=ing line of cars in the driveway. Suddenly the cartridges in it $egan to go off in a series of shar(, cla((ing e-(losions. The gun +igged and fli((ed $i=arrely in the grass. Andy sla((ed her as hard as he could. Her head rocked $ack, her eyes $lue and vacant. Then she was looking at him, sur(rised and hurt and da=ed, and he suddenly felt enclosed in a ca(sule of swiftly $uilding heat. He took in a $reath of air that felt like heavy glass. The hairs in his nose felt as if they were cris(ing. S(ontaneous com$ustion, he thought. I&m going u( in a $urst of s(ontaneous com$ustion * Then it was gone. harlie staggered on her feet and (ut her hands u( to her face. And then, through her hands, came a shrill, $uilding scream of such horror and dismay that Andy feared her mind had cracked. &'AAAAA'444444444 * & He swe(t her into his arms, hugged her. &Shhh,& he said. &3h harlie, honey, shhhh.& The scream sto((ed, and she went lim( in his arms. harlie had fainted. %B Andy (icked her u( in his arms and her head rolled lim(ly against his chest. The air was hot and rich with the smell of $urning gasoline. 6lames had already crawled across the lawn to the ivy trellis/ fingers of fire $egan to clim$ the ivy with the agility of a $oy on midnight $usiness. The house was going to go u(..Irv 1anders was leaning against the kitchen screen door, his legs s(layed. !orma knelt $eside him. He had $een shot a$ove the el$ow, and the sleeve of his $lue workshirt was a $right red. !orma had torn a long stri( of her dress off& at the hem and was trying to get his shirtsleeve u( so she could $ind the wound. Irv&s eyes were o(en. His face was an ashy gray, his li(s were faintly $lue, and he was $reathing fast. Andy took a ste( toward them and !orma 1anders flinched $ackward, at the same time (lacing her $ody over her hus$and&s. She looked u( at Andy with shiny, hard eyes. &2et away,& she hissed. &Take your monster and get away.& %I 3J ran. The Windsucker $ounced u( and down under his arm as he ran. He ignored the road as he ran. He ran in the field. He fell down and got u( and ran on. He twisted his ankle in what might have $een a chuckhole and fell down again, a scream +erking out of his mouth as he s(rawled. Then he got u( and ran on. At times it seemed that he was running alone, and at times it seemed that someone was running with him. It didn&t matter. All that mattered was getting away, away from that $la=ing $undle of rags that had $een A% Steinowit= ten minutes $efore, away from that $urning train of cars, away from .ruce ook who lay in a small garden (atch with a stake in his throat. Away, away, away. The Windsucker fell out of its holster, struck his knee (ainfully, and fell in a tangle of weeds, forgotten. Then 3J was in a (atch of woods. He stum$led over a fallen tree and s(rawled full length. He lay there, $reathing raggedly, one hand (ressed to his side, where a (ainful stitch had formed. He lay wee(ing tears of shock and fear. He thought; !o more assignments in !ew "ork. !ever. That&s it. 4very$ody out of the (ool. I&m never setting foot in !ew "ork again even if I live to $e two hundred. After a little while 3J got u( and $egan to lim( toward the road. %D &Let&s get him off the (orch,& Andy said. He had laid harlie on the grass $eyond the dooryard. The side of the house was $urning now, and s(arks were drifting down on the (orch like $ig, slow*moving fireflies. &2et away,&& she said harshly. &'on&t touch him.& &The house is $urning,& Andy said. &Let me hel( you.& &2et away7 "ou&ve done enough7& &Sto( it, !orma.& Irv looked at her. &!one of what ha((ened was this man&s fault. So shut your mouth.& She looked at him as if she had a great many things to say, and then shut her mouth with a sna(. &2et me u(,& Irv said. &Legs feel all ru$$er. Think may$e I (issed myself. Shouldn&t $e sur(rised. 3ne of those $astards shot me. 'on&t know which one. Lend a hand, 6rank.& &It&s Andy,& he said, and got an arm around Irv&s $ack. Little $y little Irv came u(. &I don&t $lame your missus. "ou should have (assed us $y this morning.&.&If I had it to do over again, I&d do it +ust the same way,& Irv said. &2osh*damn (eo(le coming on my land with guns. 2osh*damn $astards and fucking $unch of government whoremasters and . . . oooww*oooh, hrist7& &Irv)& !orma cried. &Hush, woman. I got it nocked now. ome on, 6rank, or Andy, or whatever your name is. It&s gettin hot.&
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It was. A (uff& of wind $lew a coil of s(arks onto the (orch as Andy half dragged Irv down the ste(s and into the dooryard. The cho((ing $lock was a $lackened stum(. There was nothing left of the chickens harlie had set on fire $ut a few charred $ones and a (eculiar, dense ash that might have $een feathers. They had not $een roasted/ they had $een cremated. &Set me down $y the $arn,& Irv gas(ed. &I want to talk to you.& &"ou need a doctor,& Andy said. &"eah, I&ll get my doctor. What a$out your girl)& &6ainted.& He set Irv down with his $ack against the $arn door. Irv was looking u( at him. A little color had come into his face, and that $luish cast was leaving his li(s. He was sweating. .ehind them, the $ig white farmhouse that had stood here on the .aillings 8oad since %ADA was going u( in flames. &There&s no human $eing should $e a$le to do what she can,& Irv said. &That may well $e,& Andy said, and then he looked from Irv and directly into !orma 1anders&s stony, unforgiving face. &.ut then, no human $eing should have to have cere$ral (alsy or muscular dystro(hy or leukemia. .ut it ha((ens. And it ha((ens to children.& &She didn&t get no say.& Irv nodded. &All right.& Still looking at !orma, Andy said, &She&s no more a monster than a kid in an iron lung or in a home for retarded children.& &I&m sorry I said that,& !orma re(lied, and her glance wavered and fell from Andy&s. &I was out feeding the chickens with her. Watching her (et the cow. .ut mister, my house is $urning down, and (eo(le are dead.& &I&m sorry.& &The house is insured, !orma,& Irv said, taking her hand with his good one. &That doesn&t do anything a$out my mother&s dishes that her mother gave to her,& !orma said. &3r my nice secretary, or the (ictures we got at the Schenectady art show last July.& A tear sli((ed out of one eye and she wi(ed it away with her sleeve. &And all the letters you wrote to me when you were in the army.& &Is your $utton going to $e all right)& Irv asked. &I don&t know.& &Well, listen. Here&s what you can do if you want to. There&s an old Willys Jee( out $ehind the $arn * & &Irv, no7 'on&t get into this any dee(er7& He turned to look at her, his face gray and lined and sweaty. .ehind them, their home $urned. The sound of (o((ing shingles was like that of horse chestnuts in a hristmas fire. &Those men came with no warrants nor $lue$ack (a(er of any kind and tried to take them off our land,& he said. &,eo(le I&d invited in like it&s done in a civili=ed country with decent laws. 3ne of them shot me, and one of them tried to shoot Andy here. 1issed.his head $y no more than a 5uarter of an inch.& Andy remem$ered the first deafening re(ort and the s(linter of wood that had +um(ed from the (orch su((ort (ost. He shivered. &They came and did those things. What do you want me to do, !orma) Sit here and turn them over to the secret (olice if they get their (eckers u( enough to come $ack7 .e a good 2erman)& &!o,& she said huskily. &!o, I guess not.& &"ou don&t have to * & Andy $egan. &I feel I do,& Irv said. &And when they come $ack . . . they will $e $ack, won&t they, Andy)& &3h yes. They&ll $e $ack. "ou +ust $ought stock in a growth industry, Irv.& Irv laughed, a whistling, $reathless sound. &That&s (retty good, all right. Well, when they show u( here, all I know is that you took my Willys. I don&t know more than that. And to wish you well.& &Thank you,& Andy said 5uietly. &We got to $e 5uick,& Irv said. &It&s a long way $ack to town, $ut they&ll have seen the smoke $y now. 6ire trucks&ll $e coming. "ou said you and the $utton were going to <ermont. Was that much the truth)& &"es,& Andy said. There was a moaning sound to their left. &'addy * & harlie was sitting u(. The red (ants and green $louse were smeared with dirt. Her face was (ale, her eyes were terri$ly confused. &'addy, what&s $urning) I smell something $urning. Am I doing it) What&s $urning)& Andy went to her and gathered her u(. &4verything is all right,& he said, and wondered why you had to say that to children even when they knew (erfectly well, as you did, that it wasn&t true. &4verything&s fine. How do you feel, hon)& harlie was looking over his shoulder at the $urning line of cars, the convulsed $ody in the garden, and the 1anders house, which was crowned with fire. The (orch was also wra((ed in flames. The wind was carrying the smoke and heat away from them, $ut the smell of gas and hot shingles was strong. &I did that,& harlie said, almost too low to hear. Her face $egan to twist and crum(le again. &.utton7& Irv said sternly. She glanced over at him, through him. &1e,& she moaned. &Set her down,& Irv said. &I want to talk to her.& Andy carried harlie over to where Irv sat (ro((ed u( against the $arn door and set her down. & &"ou listen to me, $utton,& Irv said. &Those men meant to kill your daddy. "ou knew it $efore I did, may$e $efore he did, although I&ll $e damned if I know how. Am I right)& &"es,& harlie said. Her eyes were still dee( and misera$le. &.ut you don&t get it. It was
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like the soldier, $ut worse. I couldn&t . . . couldn&t hold onto it anymore. It was going every(lace. I $urned u( some of your chickens . . . and I almost $urned u( my father.& The misera$le eyes s(illed over and she $egan to cry hel(lessly. &"our daddy&s fine,& Irv said. Andy said nothing. He remem$ered that sudden strangling sensation, $eing enclosed in that heat ca(sule. &I&m never going to do it again,& she said. &!ever.&.&All right,& Andy said, and (ut a hand on her shoulder. &All right, harlie.& &!ever,& she re(eated with 5uiet em(hasis. &"ou don&t want to say that, $utton,& Irv said, looking u( at her. &"ou don&t want to $lock yourself off& like that. "ou&ll do what you have to do. "ou&ll do the $est you can. And that&s all you can do. I $elieve the one thing the 2od of this world likes $est, is to give the $usiness to (eo(le who say Enever&. "ou understand me)& &!o,& harlie whis(ered. &.ut you will, I think,& Irv said, and looked at harlie with such dee( com(assion that Andy felt his throat fill with sorrow and fear. Then Irv glanced at his wife. &.ring me that there stick $y your foot, !orma.& !orma $rought the stick and (ut it into his hand and told him again that he was overdoing it, that he had to rest. And so it was only Andy that heard harlie say &!ever& again, almost inaudi$ly, under her $reath, like a vow taken in secrecy. %K &Look here, Andy,& Irv said, and drew a straight line in the dust. &This is the dirt road we came u(. The .aillings 8oad. If you go a 5uarter of a mile north, you&ll come to a woods road on your right. A car can&t make it u( that road, $ut the Willys should do it if you kee( her wound u( and use an educated foot on the clutch. A cou(le of times it&s gonna look like that road +ust u( and died, $ut you kee( going and you&ll (ick it u( again. It&s not on any ma(, you understand) !ot on any ma(.& Andy nodded, watching the stick draw the woods road. &It&ll take you twelve miles east, and if you don&t get stuck or lost, you&ll come out on 8oute 3ne fifty * two near Hoag orners. "ou turn left * north * and a$out a mile u( 3ne*fifty*two you&ll come to another woods road. It&s low ground, swam(y, mushy. The Willys might do it, might not. I ain&t $een on that road in five years, I guess. It&s the only one I know that goes east toward <ermont and won&t $e road * $locked off; That second road is gonna $ring you out on Highway Twenty*two, north of herry ,lain and south of the <ermont $order. .y then you should $e out of the worst of it * although I s&(ose they&ll have your name and (ictures on the wire. .ut we wish you the $est. 'on&t we, !orma)& &"es,& !orma said, and the word was almost a sigh. She looked at harlie. &"ou saved your dad&s life, little girl. That&s the thing to remem$er.& &Is it)& harlie said, and her voice was so (erfectly toneless that !orma 1anders looked $ewildered and a little afraid. Then harlie tried a hesitant smile and !orma smiled $ack, relieved. &0eys are in the Willys, and * & He cocked his head to one side. &Hark7& It was the sound of sirens, rising and falling in cycles, still faint $ut drawing closer. &It&s the 6',& Irv said. &"ou $etter go, if you&re goin.& & ome on, harlie,& Andy said. She came to him, her eyes red from her tears. The small smile had disa((eared like hesitant sunlight $ehind the clouds, $ut Andy felt greatly encouraged that it had $een there at all. The face she wore was a survivor&s face, shocked and wounded. In that moment, Andy wished he had her (ower/ he would use it, and he knew whom he would use it on..He said, &Thank you, Irv.& &I&m sorry,& harlie said in a small voice. &A$out your house and your chickens and . . . and everything else.& &It sure wasn&t your fault, $utton,& Irv said. &They $rought it on themselves. "ou watch out for your daddy.& &All right,& she said. Andy took her hand and led her around the $arn to where the Willys was (arked under a shake(ole leanto. The fire sirens were very close $y the time he had got it started and driven it across the lawn to the road. The house was an inferno now. harlie would not look at it. The last Andy saw of the 1anderses was in the rearview mirror of the canvas * to((ed +ee(; Irv leaning against the $arn, the (iece of white skirting knotted around his wounded arm stained red, !orma sitting $eside him. His good arm was around her. Andy waved, and Irv gestured a $it in return with his $ad arm. !orma didn&t wave, thinking, (erha(s, of her mother&s china, her secretary, the love letters * all the things of which insurance money is ignorant and always has $een. %A They found the first woods road +ust where Irv 1anders had said they would. Andy (ut the Jee( in four*wheel drive and turned onto it. &Hold on, harlie,& he said. &We&re gonna $ounce.& harlie held on. Her face was white and listless, and looking at her made Andy nervous. The cottage, he thought. 2ranther 1c2ee&s cottage on Tashmore ,ond. If we can only get there and rest. She&ll get herself $ack together and then we&ll think a$out what we should do. We&ll think a$out it tomorrow. Like Scarlett said it&s another day. The Willys roared and (itched its way u( the road, which was no more than a two*wheel track with $ushes and even a few stunted (ines growing along the crown. This land had $een logged over may$e ten years ago, and Andy dou$ted if it had $een used since then, e-ce(t $y an occasional hunter. Si- miles u( it did seem to &u( and die,& and Andy had to sto( twice to move trees that had $lown down. The second time he looked u( from his e-ertions, heart and head (ounding almost sickeningly, and saw a large doe looking at
49
him thoughtfully. She held a moment longer and then was gone into the dee(er woods with a fli( of her white tail. Andy looked $ack at harlie and saw she was watching the deer&s (rogress with something like wonder . . . and he felt encouraged again. A little farther on they found the wheel*ruts again, and around three o&clock they came out on the stretch of two*lane $lackto( that was 8oute %I?. %C 3rville Jamieson, scratched and muddy and $arely a$le to walk on his $ad ankle, sat $y the side of the .aillings 8oad a$out a half a mile from the 1anders farm and s(oke into his walkie*talkie. His message was relayed $ack to a tem(orary command (ost in a van.(arked in the main street of Hastings 2len. The van had radio e5ui(ment with a $uilt*in scram$ler and a (owerful transmitter. 3J&s re(ort was scram$led, $oosted, and sent to !ew "ork ity, where a relay station caught it and sent it on to Longmont, <irginia, where a( sat in his office, listening. a(&s face was no longer $right and +aunty, as it had $een when he $iked to work that morning. 3J&s re(ort was nearly un$elieva$le; they had known the girl had something, $ut this story of sudden carnage and reversal was 9at least to a(: like a $olt of lightning from a clear $lue sky. 6our to si- men dead, the others driven helter*skelter into the woods, half a do=en cars in flames, a house $urning to the ground, a civilian wounded and a$out to $la$ to anyone and everyone who cared to listen that a $unch of neo*!a=is had turned u( on his doorste( with no warrant and had attem(ted to kidna( a man and a little girl whom he had invited home to lunch. When 3J finished his re(ort 9and he never really did/ he only $egan to re(eat himself in a kind of semihysteria:, a( hung u( and sat in his dee( swivel chair and tried to think. He did not think a covert o(eration had gone so s(ectacularly wrong since the .ay of ,igs * and this was on American soil. The office was gloomy and filled with thick shadows now that the sun had got around to the other side of the $uilding, $ut he didn&t turn on the lights. 8achel had $u==ed him on the intercom and he had told her curtly he didn&t want to talk to anyone, anyone at all. He felt old. He heard Wanless saying; I am talking a$out the ,otential for destruction. Well, it wasn&t +ust a 5uestion of (otential any longer, was it) .ut we&re going to have her, he thought, looking $lankly across the room. 3h yes, we&re going to have her. He thum$ed for 8achel. &I want to talk to 3rville Jamieson as soon as he can $e flown here,& he said. &And I want to talk to 2eneral .rackman in Washington, A*one*A (riority. We&ve got a (otentially em$arrassing situation in !ew "ork State, and I want you to tell him that right out.& &"es, sir,& 8achel said res(ectfully. &I want a meeting with all si- su$directors at nineteen hundred hours. Also A*one*A. And I want to talk to the chief of state (olice u( there in !ew "ork.& They had $een (art of the search swee(, and a( wanted to (oint that out to them. If mud was going to $e thrown, he would $e sure to save $ack a good, $ig $ucket of it for them. .ut he also wanted to (oint out that $ehind a united front, they might still all $e a$le to come out of this looking fairly decent. He hesitated and then said, &And when John 8ain$ird calls in, tell him I want to talk to him. I have another +o$ for him.& &"es, sir.& a( let go of the intercom toggle. He sat $ack in his chair and studied the shadows. &!othing has ha((ened that can&t $e fi-ed,& he said to the shadows. That had $een his motto all his life * not (rinted in crewel and hung u(, not em$ossed on a co((er desk (la5ue, $ut it was (rinted on his heart as truth. !othing that can&t $e fi-ed. >ntil tonight, until 3J&s re(ort, he had $elieved that. It was a (hiloso(hy that had $rought a (oor ,ennsylvania miner&s kid a long way. And he $elieved it still, although in a momentarily shaken manner. .etween 1anders and his wife, they (ro$a$ly had relatives scattered from !ew 4ngland to alifornia, and each one.was a (otential lever. There were enough to(*secret files right here in Longmont to ensure that any congressional hearing on Sho( methods would $e . . . well, a little hard of hearing. The cars and even the agents were only hardware, although it would $e a long time $efore he would really $e a$le to get used to the idea that Al Steinowit= was gone. Who could there (ossi$ly $e to re(lace Al) That little kid and her old man were going to (ay for what they had done to Al, if for nothing else. He would see to it. .ut the girl. ould the girl $e fi-ed) There were ways. There were methods of containment. The 1c2ee files were still on the li$rary cart. He got u(, went to them, and $egan thum$ing through them restlessly. He wondered where John 8ain$ird was at this moment.. Washington, '. . % At the moment a( Hollister had his (assing thought a$out him, John 8ain$ird was sitting in his room at the 1ayflower Hotel watching a television game called The rosswits. He was naked. He sat in the chair with his $are feet neatly together and watched the (rogram. He was waiting for it to get dark. After it got dark, he would $egin waiting for it to get late. When it was late, he would $egin waiting for it to get early. When it got early and the (ulse of the hotel was at its slowest, he would sto( waiting and go u(stairs to 8oom %?%K and kill 'r. Wanless. Then he would come down here and think a$out whatever Wanless would have told him $efore he died, and sometime after the sun came u(, he would slee( $riefly. John 8ain$ird was a man at (eace. He was at (eace with almost everything * a(, the Sho(, the >nited States. He was at (eace with 2od, Satan, and the universe. If he was not
50
yet at com(lete (eace with himself, that was only $ecause his (ilgrimage was not yet over. He had many cou(s, many honora$le scars. It did not matter that (eo(le turned away from him in fear and loathing. It did not matter that he had lost one eye in <ietnam. What they (aid him did not matter. He took it and most of it went to $uy shoes. He had a great love of shoes. He owned a home in 6lagstaff, and although he rarely went there himself, he had all his shoes sent there. When he did get a chance to go to his house, he admired the shoes * 2ucci, .ally, .ass, Adidas, <an 'onen. Shoes. His house was a strange forest/ shoe trees grew in every room and he would, go from room to room admiring the shoefruit that grew on them. .ut when he was alone, he went $arefoot. His father, a full*$looded herokee, had $een $uried $arefoot. Someone had stolen his $urial moccasins. 3ther than shoes, John 8ain$ird was interested in only two things. 3ne of them was death. His own death, of course/ he had $een (re(aring for this inevita$ility for twenty years or more. 'ealing death had always $een his $usiness and was the only trade he had ever e-celled at. He $ecame more and more interested in it as he grew older, as an artist will $ecome more interested in the 5ualities and levels of light, as writers will feel for character and nuance like $lindmen reading $raille. What interested him most was the actual leaving . . . the actual e-halation of the soul . . . the e-it from the $ody and what human $eings knew as life and the (assing into something else. What must it $e like to feel yourself sli((ing away) 'id you think it was a dream from which you would wake) Was the hristian devil there with his fork, ready to +am it through your shrieking soul and carry it down to hell like a (iece of meat on a shish ke$a$) Was there +oy) 'id you know you were going) What is it that the eyes of the dying see) 8ain$ird ho(ed he would have the o((ortunity to find out for himself. In his $usiness, death was often 5uick and une-(ected, something that ha((ened in the flick of an eye. He ho(ed that when his own death came, he would have time to (re(are and feel everything. 1ore and more lately he had watched the faces of the (eo(le he killed, trying to see the secret in the eyes. 'eath interested him. What also interested him was the little girl they were all so concerned with. This. harlene 1c2ee. As far as John 8ain$ird had only the vaguest knowledge of the 1c2ees and none at all of Lot Si-. Actually, 8ain$ird knew almost as much as a( himself * something that surely would have marked him for e-treme sanction if a( had known. They sus(ected that the girl had some great or (otentially great (ower * may$e a whole $atch of them. He would like to meet this girl and see what her (owers were. He also knew that Andy 1c2ee was what a( called &a (otential mental dominant,& $ut that did not concern John 8ain$ird. He had not yet met a man who could dominate him. The rosswits ended. The news came on. !one of it was good. John 8ain$ird sat, not eating, not drinking, not smoking, clean and em(ty and husked out, and waited for the killing time to come around. ? 4arlier that day a( had thought uneasily of how silent 8ain$ird was. 'r. Wanless never heard him. He awoke from a sound slee(. He awoke $ecause a finger was tickling him +ust $elow the nose. He awoke and saw what a((eared to $e a monster from a nightmare hulking over his $ed. 3ne eye glinted softly in the light from the $athroom, the light he always left on when he was in a strange (lace. Where the other eye should have $een there was only an em(ty crater. Wanless o(ened his mouth to scream, and John 8ain$ird (inched his nostrils shut with the fingers of one hand and covered his mouth with the other. Wanless $egan to thrash. &Shhh,& 8ain$ird said. He s(oke with the (leased indulgence of a mother to her $a$y at fresh dia(er time. Wanless struggled harder. &If you want to live, $e still and $e 5uiet,& 8ain$ird said. Wanless looked u( at him, heaved once, and then lay still. &Will you $e 5uiet)& 8ain$ird asked. Wanless nodded. His face was growing very red. 8ain$ird removed his hands and Wanless $egan to gas( hoarsely. A small rivulet of $lood trickled from one nostril. &Who . . . are you . . . a( . . . send you)& &8ain$ird,& he said gravely. & a( sent me, yes.& Wanless&s eyes were huge in the dark. His tongue snaked out and licked his li(s. Lying in his $ed with the sheets kicked down around his knuckly ankles, he looked like the world&s oldest child. &I have money,& he whis(ered very fast. &Swiss $ank account. Lots of money. All yours. !ever o(en my mouth again. Swear $efore 2od.& &It&s not your money that I want, 'r. Wanless,& 8ain$ird said. Wanless ga=ed u( at him, the left side of his mouth sneering madly, his left eyelid droo(ing and 5uivering. &If you would like to $e alive when the sun comes u(,& 8ain$ird said, &you will talk to me, 'r. Wanless. "ou will lecture me. I will $e a seminar of one. I will $e attentive/ a good (u(il. And I will reward you with your life, which you will live far away from the view of a( and the Sho(. 'o you understand)& &"es,& Wanless said hoarsely..&'o you agree)& &"es . . . $ut what * )& 8ain$ird held two fingers to his li(s and 'r. Wanless hushed immediately. His scrawny chest rose and fell ra(idly. &I am going to say two words,& 8ain$ird said, &and then your lecture will $egin. It will include everything that you know, everything you sus(ect, everything you theori=e. Are you ready for those two words, 'r. Wanless)&
a( knew,
51
&"es,& 'r. Wanless said. & harlene 1c2ee,& 8ain$ird said, and 'r. Wanless $egan to s(eak. His words came slowly at first, and then he $egan to s(eed u(. He talked. He gave 8ain$ird the com(lete history of the Lot Si- tests and the climactic e-(eriment. 1uch of what he said 8ain$ird already knew, $ut Wanless also filled in a num$er of $lank s(ots. The (rofessor went through the entire sermon he had given a( that morning, and here it did not fall on deaf ears. 8ain$ird listened carefully, frowning sometimes, cla((ing softly and chuckling at Wanless&s toilet training meta(hor. This encouraged Wanless to s(eak even faster, and when he $egan to re(eat himself, as old men will, 8ain$ird reached down again, (inched Wanless&s nose shut with one hand again, and covered his mouth with the other again. &Sorry,& 8ain$ird said. Wanless $ucked and sunfished under 8ain$ird&s weight. 8ain$ird a((lied more (ressure, and when Wanless&s struggles $egan to lessen, 8ain$ird a$ru(tly removed the hand he had $een using to (inch Wanless&s nose shut. The sound of the good doctor&s hissing $reath was like air esca(ing from a tire with a $ig nail in it. His eyes were rolling wildly in their sockets, rolling like the eyes of a fear maddened horse . . . $ut they were still too hard to see. 8ain$ird sei=ed the collar of 'r. Wanless&s (a+ama +acket and yanked him sideways on the, $ed so that the cold white light from the $athroom shone directly across his face. Then he (inched the doctor&s nostrils closed again. A man can sometimes survive for u(ward of nine minutes without (ermanent $rain damage if his air is cut off and he remains com(letely 5uiet/ a woman, with slightly greater lung ca(acity and a slightly more efficient car$on*dio-ide*dis(osal system, may last ten or twelve. 3f course, struggling and terror cuts that survival time a great deal. 'r. Wanless struggled $riskly for forty seconds, and then his efforts to save himself $egan to flag. His hands $eat lightly at the twisted granite that was John 8ain$ird&s face. His heels drummed a muffled retreat tattoo on the car(eting. He $egan to drool against 8ain$ird&s callused (alm. This was the moment. 8ain$ird leaned forward and studied Wanless&s eyes with a childlike eagerness. .ut it was the same, always the same. The eyes seemed to lose their fear and fill instead with a great (u==lement. !ot wonder, not dawning com(rehension or reali=ation or awe, +ust (u==lement. 6or a moment those two (u==led eyes fi-ed on John 8ain$ird&s one, and 8ain$ird knew he was $eing seen. 6u==ily, (erha(s, fading $ack and $ack as the doctor went out and out, $ut he was $eing seen. Then there was nothing $ut gla=e. 'r. Jose(h Wanless was no longer staying at the 1ayflower Hotel/ 8ain$ird was sitting on this $ed with a life si=e doll. He sat still, one hand still over the doll&s mouth, the other (inching the doll&s nostrils tightly together. It was $est to $e sure. He would remain so for another ten minutes..He thought a$out what Wanless had told him concerning harlene 1c2ee. Was it (ossi$le that a small child could have such a (ower) He su((osed it might $e. In alcutta he had seen a man (ut knives into his $ody * his legs, his $elly, his chest, his neck * and then (ull them out, leaving no wounds. It might $e (ossi$le. And it was certainly . . . interesting. He thought a$out these things, and then found himself wondering what it would $e like to kill a child. He had never knowingly done such a thing 9although once he had (laced a $om$ on an airliner and the $om$ had e-(loded, killing all si-ty*seven a$oard, and (erha(s one or more of them had $een children, $ut that was not the same thing/ it was im(ersonal:. It was not a $usiness in which the death of children was often re5uired. They were not, after all, some terrorist organi=ation like the I8A or the ,L3, no matter how much some (eo(le * some of the yellow$ellies in the ongress, for instance * would like to $elieve they were. They were, after all, a scientific organi=ation. ,erha(s with a child the result would $e different. There might $e another e-(ression in the eyes at the end, something $esides the (u==lement that made him feel so em(ty and so * yes, it was true * so sad. He might discover (art of what he needed to know in the death of a child. A child like this harlene 1c2ee. &1y life is like the straight roads in the desert,& John 8ain$ird said softly. He looked a$sor$edly into the dull $lue mar$les that had $een the eyes of 'r. Wanless. &.ut your life is no road at all, my friend . . . my good friend.& He kissed Wanless first on one cheek and then on the other. Then he (ulled him $ack onto the $ed and threw a sheet over him. It came down softly, like a (arachute, and outlined Wanless&s +utting and now tideless nose in white lawn. 8ain$ird left the room. That night he thought a$out the girl who could su((osedly light fires. He thought a$out her a great deal. He wondered where she was, what she was thinking, what she was dreaming. He felt very tender a$out her, very (rotective. .y the time he drifted off to slee(, at +ust (ast si- A.1., he was sure; the girl would $e his.. Tashmore, <ermont % Andy and harlie 1c2ee arrived at the cottage on Tashmore ,ond two days after the $urning at the 1anders farm. The Willys hadn&t $een in great sha(e to start with, and the muddy (lunge over the woods roads that Irv had directed them onto had done little to im(rove it. When dusk came on the endless day that had $egun in Hastings 2len, they had $een less then twenty yards from the end of the second * and worse * of the two woods roads. .elow them, $ut screened off $y a heavy growth of $ushes, was 8oute ??.
52
Although they couldn&t see the road, they could hear the occasional swish and whine of (assing cars and trucks. They sle(t that night in the Willys, $undled u( for warmth. They set out again the ne-t morning * yesterday morning * at +ust (ast five A.1., with daylight nothing $ut a faint white tone in the east. harlie looked (allid and listless and used u(. She hadn&t asked him what would ha((en to them if the road$locks had $een shifted east. It was +ust as well, $ecause if the road$locks had $een shifted, they would $e caught, and that was sim(ly all there was to it. There was no 5uestion of ditching the Willys, either/ harlie was in no sha(e to walk, and for that matter, neither was he. So Andy had (ulled out onto the highway and all that day in 3cto$er they had +igged and +ogged along secondary roads under a white sky that (romised rain $ut never 5uite delivered it. harlie sle(t a great deal, and Andy worried a$out her * worried that she was using the slee( in an unhealthy way, using it to flee what had ha((ened instead of trying to come to terms with it. He sto((ed twice at roadside diners and (icked u( $urgers and fries. The second time he used the five * dollar $ill that the van driver, Jim ,aulson, had laid on him. 1ost of the remaining (hone change was gone. He must have lost some of it out of his (ockets during that cra=y time at the 1anders (lace, $ut he didn&t recall it. Something else was gone as well/ those frightening num$ (laces on his face had faded away sometime during the night. Those he didn&t mind losing. 1ost of harlie&s share of the $urgers and fries went uneaten. Last night they had driven into a highway rest area a$out an hour after dark. The rest area was deserted. It was autumn, and the season of the Winne$agos had (assed for another year. A rustic wood$urned sign read; !3 A1,I!2 !3 6I84S L4ASH "3>8 '32 OIGG 6I!4 638 LITT48I!2. &They&re real s(orts around here,& Andy muttered, and drove the Willys down the slo(e $eyond the far edge of the gravel (arking lot and into a co(se $eside a small, chuckling stream. He and harlie got out and went wordlessly down to the water. The overcast held, $ut it was mild/ there were no stars visi$le and the night seemed e-traordinarily dark. They sat down for a while and listened to the $rook tell its tale. He took harlie&s hand and that was when she $egan to cry * great, tearing so$s that seemed to $e trying to ri( her a(art. He took her in his arms and rocked her. & harlie,& he murmured. & harlie, harlie, don&t. 'on&t cry.&.&,lease don&t make me do it again, 'addy,& she we(t. &.ecause if you said to I&d do it and then I guess I&d kill myself, so (lease . . . (lease . . . never . . .& &I love you,& he said. &.e 5uiet and sto( talking a$out killing yourself. That&s cra=y*talk.& &!o,& she said. &It isn&t. ,romise, 'addy.& He thought for a long time and then said slowly; &I don&t know if I can, harlie. .ut I (romise to try. Will that $e good enough)& Her trou$led silence was answer enough. &I get scared, too,& he said softly. &'addies get scared, too. "ou $etter $elieve it.& They s(ent that night, too, in the ca$ of the Willys. They were $ack on the road $y sio&clock in the morning. The clouds had $roken u(, and $y ten o&clock it had $ecome a flawless, Indian*summery day. !ot long after they crossed the <ermont state line they saw men riding ladders like masts in tossing a((le trees and trucks in the orchards filled with $ushel $askets of 1acs. At eleven*thirty they turned off 8oute HB and onto a narrow, rutted dirt road marked ,8I<AT4 ,83,48T", and something in Andy&s chest loosened. They had made it to 2ranther 1c2ee&s (lace. They were here. They drove slowly down toward the (ond, a distance of (erha(s a mile and a half. 3cto$er leaves, red and gold, swirled across the road in front of the Jee(&s $lunt nose. Just as glints of water $egan to show through the trees, the road $ranched in two. A heavy steel chain hung across the smaller $ranch, and from the chain a rust*flecked yellow sign; !3 T84S,ASSI!2 ." 38'48 36 3>!T" SH48I66. 1ost of the rust flecks had formed around si- or eight dim(les in the metal, and Andy guessed that some summer kid had s(ent a few minutes working off his $oredom $y (linking at the sign with his .??. .ut that had $een years ago. He got out of the Willys and took his keyring out of his (ocket. There was a leather ta$ on the ring with his initials. A.1c2., almost o$literated. <icky had given him that (iece of leather for hristmas one year * a hristmas $efore harlie had $een $orn. He stood $y the chain for a moment, looking at the leather ta$, then at the keys themselves. There were almost two do=en of them. 0eys were funny things/ you could inde- a life $y the keys that had a way of collecting on your keyring. He su((osed that some (eo(le, undou$tedly (eo(le who had reali=ed a higher degree of organi=ation than he had, sim(ly threw their old keys away, +ust as those same organi=ational ty(es made a ha$it of cleaning their wallets out every si- months or so. Andy had never done either. Here was the key that o(ened the east*wing door of ,rince Hall $ack in Harrison, where his office had $een. His key to the office itself. To the 4nglish 'e(artment office. Here was the key to the house in Harrison that he had seen for the last time on the day the Sho( killed his wife and kidna((ed his daughter. Two or three more he couldn&t even identify. 0eys were funny things, all right. His vision $lurred. Suddenly he missed <icky, and needed her as he hadn&t needed her since those first $lack weeks on the road with harlie. He was so tired, so scared, and so full of anger. In that moment, if he&d had every em(loyee of the Sho( lined u( in front of him along 2ranther&s road, and it someone had handed him a Thom(son su$machine gun ... &'addy)& It was harlie&s voice, an-ious. & an&t you find the key)& &"es, I&ve got it,& he said. It was among the rest, a small "ale key on which he had
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scratched T.,. for Tashmore ,ond with his +ackknife. The last time they had $een here.was the year harlie was $orn, and now Andy had to wiggle the key a little $efore the stiff tum$lers would turn. Then the lock (o((ed o(en and he laid the chain down on the car(et of fall leaves. He drove the Willys through and then re*(adlocked the chain. The road was in $ad sha(e, Andy was glad to see. When they came u( regularly every summer, they would stay three or four weeks and he would always find a cou(le of days to work on the road * get a load of gravel from Sam 1oore&s gravel (it and (ut it down in the worst of the ruts, cut $ack the $rush, and get Sam himself to come down with his old dragger and even it out. The cam( road&s other, $roader fork led down to almost two do=en cam( homes and cottages strung along the shorefront, and those folks had their 8oad Association, annual dues. August $usiness meeting and all 9although the $usiness meeting was really only an e-cuse to get really loaded $efore La$or 'ay came and (ut an end to another summer:, $ut 2ranther&s (lace was the only one down this way, $ecause 2ranther himself had $ought all the land for a song $ack in the de(ths of the 'e(ression. In the old days they&d had a family car, a 6ord wagon. He dou$ted if the old wagon would have made it down here now, and even the Willys, with its high a-les, $ottomed out once or twice. Andy didn&t mind at all. It meant that no one had $een down here. &Will there $e electricity, 'addy)& harlie asked. &!o,& he said, &and no (hone, either. We don&t dare get the electricity turned on, kiddo. It&d $e like holding u( a sign saying H484 W4 A84. .ut there are kerosene lam(s and two range*oil drums. If the stuff hasn&t $een ri((ed off, that is.& That worried him a little. Since the last time they&d $een down here, the (rice of range oil had gone u( enough to make the theft worthwhile, he su((osed. &Will there $e * & harlie $egan. &Holy shit,& Andy said. He +ammed on the $rakes. A tree had fallen across the road u( ahead, a $ig old $irch (ushed down $y some winter storm. &I guess we walk from here. It&s only a mile or so anyway. We&ll hike it.& Later he would have to come $ack with 2ranther&s one*handed $uck and cut the tree u(. He didn&t want to leave Irv&s Willys (arked here. It was too o(en. He ruffled her hair. & ome on.& They got out of the Willys, and harlie scooted effortlessly under the $irch while Andy clam$ered carefully over, trying not to skewer himself anywhere im(ortant. The leaves crunched agreea$ly under their feet as they walked on, and the woods were aromatic with fall. A s5uirrel looked down at them from a tree, watching their (rogress closely. And now they $egan to see $right slashes of $lue again through the trees. &What did you start to say $ack there when we came to the tree)& Andy asked her. &If there would $e enough oil for a long time. In case we stay the winter.& &!o, $ut there&s enough to start with. And I&m going to cut a lot of wood. "ou&ll haul (lenty of it, too.& Ten minutes later the road widened into a clearing on the shore of Tashmore ,ond and they were there. They $oth stood 5uietly for a moment. Andy didn&t know what harlie was feeling, $ut for him there was a rush of remem$rance too total to $e called anything so mild as nostalgia. 1i-ed u( in the memories was his dream of three mornings ago * the $oat, the s5uirming nightcrawler, even the tire (atches on 2ranther&s $oots. The cottage was five rooms, wood over fieldstone $ase. A deck +utted out toward the lake, and a stone (ier (oked out into the water itself. 4-ce(t for the drifts of leaves and.the $lowdowns of three winters, the (lace hadn&t changed a $it. He almost e-(ected 2ranther himself to come strolling out, wearing one of those green and $lack checked shirts, waving and $ellowing for him to come on u(, asking him if he&d got his fishing license yet, $ecause the $rown trout were still $iting good around dusk. It had $een a good (lace, a safe (lace. 6ar across Tashmore ,ond, the (ines glimmered gray*green in the sunshine. Stu(id trees, 2ranther had said once, don&t even know the difference $etween summer and winter. The only sign of civili=ation on the far side was still the .radford Town Landing. !o one had (ut u( a sho((ing centre or an amusement (ark. The wind still talked in the trees here. The green shingles still had a mossy, woodsy look, and (ine needles still drifted in the roof angles and in the cu( of the wooden gutter. He had $een a $oy here, and 2ranther had shown him how to $ait a hook. He had had his own $edroom here, (aneled in good ma(le, and he had dreamed a $oy&s dreams in a narrow $ed and had awakened to the sound of water la((ing the (ier. He had $een a man here as well, making love to his wife in the dou$le $ed that had once $elonged to 2ranther and his wife * that silent and somehow $aleful woman who was a mem$er of the American Society of Atheists and would e-(lain to you, should you ask, the Thirty 2reatest Inconsistencies in the 0ing James .i$le, or, should you (refer, the Laugha$le 6allacy of the locks(ring Theory of the >niverse, all with the thudding, irrevoca$le logic of a dedicated (reacher. &"ou miss 1om, don&t you)& harlie said in a forlorn voice. &"eah,& he said. &"eah, I do.& &1e too,& harlie said. &"ou had fun here, didn&t you)& &We did,& he agreed. & ome on, harlie.& She held $ack, looking at him. &'addy, will things ever $e all right for us again) Will I $e a$le to go to school and things)& He considered a lie, $ut a lie was a (oor answer. &I don&t know,& he said. He tried to smile, $ut it wouldn&t come/ he found he could not even stretch his li(s convincingly. &I don&t know, harlie.& ? 2ranther&s tools were all still neatly racked in the toolshed (ortion of the $oathouse, and Andy found a $onus he had ho(ed for $ut had told himself not to ho(e for too much;
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nearly two cords of wood, neatly s(lit and time*seasoned in the $ay $eneath the $oathouse. 1ost of it he had s(lit himself, and it was still under the sheet of ragged, dirty canvas he had thrown over it. Two cords wouldn&t take them through the winter, $ut $y the time he finished carving u( the $lowdowns around the cam( and the $irch $ack on the road, they would $e well set. He took the $ucksaw $ack u( to the fallen tree and cut it u( enough to get the Willys through. .y then it was nearly dark, and he was tired and hungry. !o one had $othered to ri( off the well stocked (antry, either/ if there had $een vandals or thieves or snowmo$iles over the last si- winters, they had stuck to the more (o(ulous southern end of the lake. There were five shelves (acked with am($ell&s sou(s and Wyman&s sardines and 'inty 1oore $eef stew and all sorts of canned vegeta$les. There was also still half a.case of 8ival dog food on the floor * a legacy of 2ranther&s good old dog .im$o * $ut Andy didn&t think it would come to that. While harlie looked at the $ooks on the shelves in the $ig living room, Andy went into the small root cellar that was three ste(s down from the (antry, scratched a wooden match on one of the $eams, stuck his finger into the knothole in one of the $oards that lined the sides of the little dirt floored room, and (ulled. The $oard came out and Andy looked inside. After a moment he grinned. Inside the co$we$*festooned little $olt*hole were four mason +ars filled with a clear, slightly oily looking li5uid that was one*hundred* (ercent (ure white lightning * what 2ranther called &father&s mule*kick.& The match $urned Andy&s fingers. He shook it out and lit a second. Like the dour !ew 4ngland (reachers of old 9from whom she had $een a direct descendant:, Hulda 1c2ee had no liking, understanding, or tolerance for the sim(le and slightly stu(id male (leasures. She had $een a ,uritan atheist, and this had $een 2ranther&s little secret, which he had shared with Andy the year $efore he died. .esides the white lightning, there was a caddy for (oker chi(s. Andy (ulled it out and felt in the slot at the to(. There was a crackling sound, and he (ulled out a thin sheaf of $ills * a few tens and fives and some ones. 1ay$e eighty dollars all told. 2ranther&s weakness had $een seven*card stud, and this was what he called his &struttin money.& The second match $urned his fingers, and Andy shook it out. Working in the dark, he (ut the (oker chi(s $ack, money and all. It was good to know it was there. He re(laced the $oard and went $ack through the (antry. &Tomato sou( do you)& he asked harlie. Wonder of wonders, she had found all the ,ooh $ooks on one of the shelves and was currently some where in the Hundred Acre Wood with ,ooh and 4eyore. &Sure,& she said, not looking u(. He made a $ig (ot of tomato sou( and o(ened them each a tin of sardines. He lit one of the kerosene lam(s after carefully drawing the dra(es and (ut it in the middle of the dining ta$le. They sat down and ate, neither of them talking much. Afterward he smoked a cigarette, lighting it over the chimney of the lam(. harlie discovered the card drawer in 2randma&s Welsh dresser/ there were eight or nine decks in there, each of them missing a +ack or a deuce or something, and she s(ent the rest of the evening sorting them and (laying with them while Andy (rowled through the cam(. Later, tucking her into $ed, he asked her how she felt. &Safe,& she said with no hesitation at all. &2oodnight, 'addy.& If it was good enough for harlie, it was good enough for him. He sat with her awhile, $ut she dro((ed off to slee( 5uickly and with no trou$le, and he left after (ro((ing her door o(en so he would hear her if she $ecame restless in the night. H .efore turning in, Andy went $ack down to the root cellar, got one of the +ars of white lightning, (oured himself a small knock in a +uice glass, and went out through the sliding door and onto the deck. He sat in one of the canvas director&s chairs 9mildewy smell/ he wondered $riefly if something could $e done a$out that: and looked out at the dark, moving $ulk of the lake. It was a trifle chilly, $ut a cou(le of small si(s at 2ranther&s.mule*kick took care of the chill 5uite nicely. 6or the first time since that terri$le chase u( Third Avenue, he too felt safe and at rest. He smoked and looked out across Tashmore ,ond. Safe and at rest, $ut not for the first time since !ew "ork ity. 6or the first time since the Sho( had come $ack into their lives on that terri$le August day fourteen months ago. Since then they had either $een running or hunkering down, and either way there was no rest. He remem$ered talking to @uincey on the tele(hone with the smell of $urned car(eting in his nostrils. He in 3hio, @uincey out there in alifornia, which in his few letters he always called the 1agic 4arth5uake 0ingdom. "es, it&s a good thing, @uincey had said. 3r they might (ut them in two little rooms where they could work full*time to kee( two hundred and twenty million Americans safe and free . . . . I $et they&d +ust want to take that child and (ut it in a little room and see if it could hel( make the world safe for democracy. And I think that&s all I want to say, old $uddy, e-ce(t . . . kee( your head down. He thought he had $een scared then. He hadn&t known what scared was. Scared was coming home and finding your wife dead with her fingernails (ulled out. They had (ulled out her nails to find out where harlie was. harlie had $een s(ending two days and two nights at her friend Terri 'ugan&s house. A month or so later they had $een (lanning to have Terri over to their house for a similar length of time. <icky had called it the 2reat Swa( of %CAG. !ow, sitting on the deck and smoking, Andy could reconstruct what had ha((ened, although then he had e-isted in nothing $ut a $lur of grief and (anic and rage; it had $een the $lindest good luck 9or (erha(s a little more than luck: that had ena$led him to catch u( with them at all.
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They had $een under surveillance, the whole family. 1ust have $een for some time. And when harlie hadn&t come home from summer daycam( that Wednesday afternoon, and didn&t show u( on Thursday or Thursday evening either, they must have decided that Andy and <icky had tum$led to the surveillance. Instead of discovering that harlie was doing no more than staying at a friend&s house not two miles away, they must have decided that they had taken their daughter and gone underground. It was a cra=y, stu(id mistake, $ut it hadn&t $een the first such on the Sho(&s (art * according to an article Andy had read in 8olling Stone, the Sho( had $een involved and heavily influential in (reci(itating a $lood$ath over an air(lane hi+acking $y 8ed Army terrorists 9the hi+ack had $een a$orted * at the cost of si-ty lives:, in selling heroin to the 3rgani=ation in return for information on mostly harmless u$an*American grou(s in 1iami, and in the communist takeover of a ari$$ean island that had once $een known for its multimillion*dollar $eachfront hotels and its voodoo*(racticing (o(ulation. With such a series of colossal gaffes under the Sho(&s $elt, it $ecame less difficult to understand how the agents em(loyed to kee( watch on the 1c2ee family could mistake a child&s two nights at a friend&s house as a run for the tall tim$er. As @uincey would have said 9and may$e he had:, if the most efficient of the Sho(&s thousand or more em(loyees had to go to work in the (rivate sector, they would have $een drawing unem(loyment $enefits $efore their (ro$ationary (eriods were u(. .ut there had $een cra=y mistakes on $oth sides, Andy reflected * and if the $itterness in that thought had $ecome slightly vague and diffuse with the (assage of time,.it had once $een shar( enough to draw $lood, a many*tined $itterness, with each shar( (oint ti((ed with the curare of guilt. He had $een scared $y the things @uincey im(lied on the (hone that day harlie tri((ed and fell down the stairs, $ut a((arently he hadn&t $een scared enough. If he had $een, (erha(s they would have gone underground. He had discovered too late that the human mind can $ecome hy(noti=ed when a life, or the life of a family, $egins to drift out of the normal range of things and into a fervid fantasy*land that you are usually asked to acce(t only in si-ty*minute $ursts on T< or may$e for one*hundred*ten*minute sittings in the local inema I. In the wake of his conversation with @uincey, a (eculiar feeling had gradually cre(t over him; it $egan to seem that he was constantly stoned. A ta( on his (hone) ,eo(le watching them) A (ossi$ility that they might all $e scoo(ed u( and dro((ed into the $asement rooms of some government com(le-) There was such a tendency to smile a silly smile and +ust watch these things loom u(, such a tendency to do the civili=ed thing and (ooh*(ooh your own instincts .... 3ut on Tashmore ,ond there was a sudden dark flurry and a num$er of ducks took off into the night, headed west. A half*moon was rising, casting a dull silver glow across their wings as they went. Andy lit another cigarette. He was smoking too much, $ut he would get a chance to go cold turkey soon enough/ he had only four or five left. "es, he had sus(ected there was a ta( on the (hone. Sometimes there would $e an odd dou$le click after you (icked it u( and said hello. 3nce or twice, when he had $een talking to a student who had called to ask a$out an assignment or to one of his colleagues, the connection had $een mysteriously $roken. He had sus(ected that there might $e $ugs in the house, $ut he had never torn the (lace a(art looking for them 9had he sus(ected he might find them):. And several times he had sus(ected * no, had $een almost sure * that they were $eing watched. They had lived in the Lakeland district of Harrison, and Lakeland was the su$lime archety(e of su$ur$ia. 3n a drunk night you could circle si- or eight $locks for hours, +ust looking for your own house. The (eo(le who were their neigh$ors worked for the I.1 (lant outside town, 3hio Semi onductor in town, or taught at the college. "ou could have drawn two ruler*straight lines across an average family*income sheet, the lower line at eighteen and a half thousand and the u((er one at, may$e thirty thousand, and almost everyone in Lakeland would have fallen in the area $etween. "ou got to know (eo(le. "ou nodded on the street to 1rs. .acon, who had lost her hus$and and had since $een remarried to vodka * and she looked it/ the honeymoon with that (articular gentleman was (laying hell with her face and figure. "ou ti((ed a < at the two girls with the white Jag who were renting the house on the corner of Jasmine Street and Lakeland Avenue * and wondered what s(ending the night with the two of them would $e like. "ou talked $ase$all with 1r. Hammond on Laurel Lane as he everlastingly trimmed his hedges. 1r. Hammond was with I.1 9&Which stands for I&ve .een 1oved,& he would tell you endlessly as the electric cli((ers hummed and $u==ed:, originally from Atlanta and a ra$id Atlanta .raves fan. He loathed incinnati&s .ig 8ed 1achine, which did not e-actly endear him to the neigh$ourhood. !ot that Hammond gave a shit. He was +ust waiting for I.1 to hand him a fresh set of walking (a(ers. .ut 1r. Hammond was not the (oint. 1rs. .acon wasn&t the (oint, nor were those two luscious (eaches in their white +ag with the dull red (rimer (aint around the headlights. The (oint was that after a while your $rain formed its own su$conscious su$set; (eo(le.who $elong in Lakeland. .ut in the months $efore <icky was killed and harlie snatched from the 'ugans& house, there had $een (eo(le around who didn&t $elong to that su$set. Andy had dismissed them, telling himself it would $e foolish to alarm <icky +ust $ecause talking to @uincey had made him (aranoid. The (eo(le in the light*gray van. The man with the red hair that he had seen slouched $ehind the wheel of an A1 1atador one night and then $ehind the wheel of a ,lymouth Arrow one night a$out two weeks later and then in the shotgun seat of the gray van a$out ten days after that. Too many salesmen came to call. There had $een evenings when they had come home from a day out or from taking harlie to see the latest 'isney e(ic when he had got the feeling that someone had $een in the house, that things had $een moved around the tiniest $it. That feeling of $eing watched.
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.ut he hadn&t $elieved it would go any further than watching. That had $een his cra=y mistake. He was still not entirely convinced that it had $een a case of (anic on their (art. They might have $een (lanning to snatch harlie and himself, killing <icky $ecause she was relatively useless * who really needed a low*grade (sychic whose $ig trick for the week was closing the refrigerator door from across the room) !evertheless, the +o$ had a reckless, hurry*u( 5uality to it that made him think that harlie&s sur(rise disa((earance had made them move more 5uickly than they had intended. They might have waited if it had $een Andy who dro((ed out of sight, $ut it hadn&t $een. It had $een harlie, and she was the one they were really interested in. Andy was sure of that now. He got u( and stretched, listening to the $ones in his s(ine crackle. Time he went to $ed, time he sto((ed hashing over these old, hurtful memories. He was not going to s(end the rest of his life $laming himself for <icky&s death. He had only $een an accessory $efore the fact, after all. And the rest of his life might not $e that long, either. The action on Irv 1anders&s (orch hadn&t $een lost on Andy 1c2ee. They had meant to waste him. It was only harlie they wanted now. He went to $ed, and after a while he sle(t. His dreams were not easy ones. 3ver and over he saw that trench of fire running across the $eaten dirt of the dooryard, saw it divide to make a fairy*ring around the cho((ing $lock, saw the chickens going u( like living incendiaries. In the dream, he felt the heat ca(sule around him, $uilding and $uilding. She said she wasn&t going to make fires anymore. And may$e that was $est. 3utside, the old 3cto$er moon shone down on Tashmore ,ond on .radford, !ew Ham(shire, across the water, and on the rest of !ew 4ngland. To the south, it shone down on Longmont, <irginia. B Sometimes Andy 1c2ee had feelings * hunches of e-traordinary vividness. 4ver since the e-(eriment in Jason 2earneigh Hall. He didn&t know if the hunches were a low*grade sort of (recognition or not, $ut he had learned to trust them when he got them..Around noon on that August day in %CAG, he got a $ad one. It $egan during lunch in the .uckeye 8oom, the faculty lounge on the to( floor of the >nion $uilding. He could even (in(oint the e-act moment. He had $een having creamed chicken on rice with 4v 3&.rian, .ill Wallace, and 'on 2ra$owski, all in the 4nglish 'e(artment. 2ood friends, all of them. And as usual, someone had $rought along a ,olish +oke for 'on, who collected them. It had $een 4v&s +oke, something a$out $eing a$le to tell a ,olish ladder from a regular one $ecause the ,olish ladder had the word ST3, lettered on the to( rung. All of them were laughing when a small, very calm voice s(oke u( in Andy&s mind. 9something&s wrong at home: That was all. That was enough. It $egan to $uild u( almost the same way that his headaches $uilt u( when he overused the (ush and ti((ed himself over. 3nly this wasn&t a head thing/ all his emotions seemed to $e tangling themselves u(, almost la=ily, as if they were yarn and some $ad*tem(ered cat had $een let loose along the runs of his nervous system to (lay with them and snarl them u(. He sto((ed feeling good. The creamed chicken lost whatever marginal a((eal it had had to $egin with. His stomach $egan to flutter, and his heart was $eating ra(idly, as if he had +ust had a $ad scare. And then the fingers of his right hand $egan a$ru(tly to thro$, as if he had got them +ammed in a door. A$ru(tly he stood u(. old sweat was $reaking on his forehead. &Look, I don&t feel so good,& he said. & an you take my one o&clock, .ill)& &Those as(iring (oets) Sure. !o (ro$lem. What&s wrong)& &I don&t know. Something I ate, may$e.& &"ou look sort of (ale,& 'on 2ra$owski said. &"ou ought to cruise over to the infirmary, Andy.& &I may do that,& Andy said. He left, $ut with no intention whatever of going to the infirmary. It was 5uarter (ast twelve, the late summer cam(us drowsing through the last week of the final summer session. He raised a hand to 4v, .ill, and 'on as he hurried out. He had not seen any of them since that day. He sto((ed on the >nion&s lower level, let himself into a tele(hone $ooth, and called home. There was no answer. !o real reason why there should have $een/ with harlie at the 'ugans, <icky could have $een out sho((ing, having her hair done, she could have $een over at Tammy >(more&s house or even having lunch with 4ileen .acon. !evertheless, his nerves cranked u( another notch. They were nearly screaming now. He left the >nion $uilding and half walked, half ran to the station wagon, which was in the ,rince Hall (arking lot. He drove across town to Lakeland. His driving was +erky and (oor. He +um(ed lights, tailgated, and came close to knocking a hi((ie of his ten*s(eed 3lym(ia. The hi((ie gave him the finger. Andy $arely noticed. His heart was tri( hammering now. He felt as if he had taken a hit of s(eed. They lived on onifer ,lace * in Lakeland, as in so many su$ur$an develo(ments $uilt in the fifties, most of the streets seemed named for trees or shru$s. In the midday August heat, the street seemed 5ueerly deserted. It only added to his feeling that something $ad had ha((ened. The street looked wider with so few cars (arked along the cur$s. 4ven the few kids (laying here and there could not dis(el that strange feeling of desertion/ most of them were eating lunch or over at the (layground. 1rs. 6lynn from.Laurel Lane walked (ast with a $ag of groceries in a wheeled caddy, her (aunch as round and tight as a soccer $all under her avocado*colored stretch (ants. All u( and down the street, lawn s(rinklers twirled la=ily, fanning water onto the grass and rain$ows into the
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air. Andy drove the offside wheels of the wagon u( over the cur$ and then slammed on the $rakes hard enough to lock his seat$elt momentarily and to make the wagon&s nose di( toward the (avement. He turned off the engine with the gearshift still in 'rive, something he never did, and went u( the cracked cement walk that he ke(t meaning to (atch and somehow never seemed to get around to. His heels clacked meaninglessly. He noticed that the venetian $lind over the $ig living*room (icture window 9mural window, the realtor who had sold them the house called it, here ya gotcha $asic mural window: was drawn, giving the house a closed, secretive as(ect he didn&t like. 'id she usually (ull the $lind) To kee( as much of the summer heat out as (ossi$le, may$e) He didn&t know. He realised there were a great many things he didn&t know a$out her life when he was away. He reached for the doorkno$, $ut it didn&t turn/ it only sli((ed through his fingers. 'id she lock the door when he was gone) He didn&t $elieve it. That wasn&t <icky. His worry * no, it was terror now increased. And yet there was one moment 9which he would never admit to himself later:, one small moment when he felt nothing $ut an urge to turn away from that locked door. Just hightail it. !ever mind <icky, or harlie, or the weak +ustifications that would come later. Just run. Instead, he gro(ed in his (ocket for his keys. In his nervousness he dro((ed them and had to $end to (ick them u( * car keys, the key to the east wing of ,rince Hall, the $lackish key that unlocked the chain he (ut across 2ranther&s road at the end of each summer visit. 0eys had a funny way of accumulating. He (lucked his housekey from the $unch and unlocked the door. He went in and shut it $ehind him. The light in the living room was a low, sick yellow. It was hot. And still. 3h 2od it was so still. &<icky)& !o answer. And all that no answer meant was that she wasn&t here. She had (ut on her $oogie shoes, as she liked to say, and had gone marketing or visiting. 4-ce(t that she wasn&t doing either of those things. He felt sure of it. And his hand, his right hand . . . why were the fingers thro$$ing so) &<icky7& He went into the kitchen. There was a small 6ormica ta$le out there with three chairs. He and <icky and harlie usually ate their $reakfast in the kitchen. 3ne of the chairs now lay on its side like a dead dog. The salt shaker had overturned and salt was s(illed across the ta$le&s surface. Without thinking a$out what he was doing, Andy (inched some of it $etween the thum$ and first finger of his left hand and tossed it $ack over his shoulder, muttering under his $reath, as $oth his father and his 2ranther had done $efore him, &Salt salt malt malt $ad luck stay away.& There was a (ot of sou( on the Hot(oint. It was cold. The em(ty sou( can stood on the counter. Lunch for one. .ut where was she) &<icky7& he hollered down the stairs. 'ark down there. The laundry room and the family room, which ran the length of the house. !o answer..He looked around the kitchen again. !eat and tidy. Two of harlie&s drawings, made at the <acation .i$le School she had attended in July, held on the refrigerator with small (lastic vegeta$les that had magnetic $ases. An electric $ill and a (hone $ill stuck on the s(ike with the motto ,A" TH4S4 LAST written across the $ase. 4verything in its (lace and a (lace for everything. 4-ce(t the chair was overturned. 4-ce(t the salt was s(illed. There was no s(it in his mouth, none at all. His mouth was as dry and slick as chrome on a summer day. Andy went u(stairs, looked through harlie&s room, their room, the guest room. !othing. He went $ack through the kitchen, flicked on the stairway light, and went downstairs. Their 1aytag washer ga(ed o(en. The dryer fi-ed him with one glassy (orthole eye. .etween them, on the wall, hung a sam(ler <icky had $ought somewhere/ it read H3!4", W4&84 ALL WASH4' >,. He went into the family room and fum$led for the light switch, fingers $rushing at the wall, cra=ily sure that at any moment unknown cold fingers would close over his and guide them to the switch. Then he found the (late at last, and the fluorescent $ars set into the Armstrong ceiling glowed alive. This was a good room. He had s(ent a lot of time down here, fi-ing things u(, smiling at himself all the time $ecause, in the end, he had $ecome all those things that as undergraduates they had sworn they would not $ecome. All three of them had s(ent a lot of time down here. There was a T< $uilt into the wall, a ,ing * ,ong ta$le, an oversi=ed $ackgammon $oard. 1ore $oard games were cased against one wall, there were some coffee*ta$le*si=ed $ooks ranged along a low ta$le that <icky had made from $arn$oard. 3ne wall had $een dressed in (a(er$acks. Hung on the walls were several framed and matted afghan s5uares that <icky had knitted/ she +oked that she was great at individual s5uares $ut sim(ly didn&t have the stamina to knit a whole damn $lanket. There were harlie&s $ooks in a s(ecial kid*si=ed $ookcase, all of them carefully arranged in al(ha$etical order, which Andy had taught her one $oring snowy night two winters $efore and which still fascinated her. A good room. An em(ty room. He tried to feel relief. The (remonition, hunch, whatever you wanted to call it, had $een wrong. She +ust wasn&t here. He sna((ed off the light and went $ack into the laundry room. The washing machine, a front*loader they had (icked u( at a yard sale for si-ty $ucks, still ga(ed o(en. He shut it without thinking, much as he had tossed a (inch of the s(illed salt over his shoulder. There was $lood on the washer&s glass window. !ot much. 3nly three or four dro(s. .ut it was $lood.
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Andy stood staring at it. It was cooler down here, too cool, it was like a morgue down here. He looked at the floor. There was more $lood on the floor. It wasn&t even dry. A little sound, a soft, s5uealing whis(er, came from his throat. He $egan to walk around the laundry room, which was nothing $ut a small alcove with white (laster walls. He o(ened the clothes ham(er. It was em(ty $ut for one sock. He looked in the cu$$yhole under the sink. !othing $ut Lestoil and Tide and .i= and S(ic &n S(an. He looked under the stairs. !othing there $ut co$we$s and the (lastic leg of one of harlie&s older dolls * that dismem$ered lim$ lying (atiently down here and waiting for rediscovery for 2od knew how long..He o(ened the door $etween the washer and the dryer and the ironing $oard whistled down with a ratchet and a crash and there $eneath it, her legs tied u( so that her knees were +ust $elow her chin, her eyes o(en and gla=ed and dead, was <icky Tomlinson 1c2ee with a cleaning rag stuffed in her mouth. There was a thick and sickening smell of ,ledge furniture (olish in the air. He made a low gagging noise and stum$led $ackward. His hand flailed, as if to drive this terri$le vision away, and one of them struck the control (anel of the dryer and it whirred into life. lothes $egan to tum$le and click inside. Andy screamed. And then he ran. He ran u( the stairs and stum$led going around the corner into the kitchen and s(rawled flat and $um(ed his forehead on the linoleum. He sat u(, $reathing hard. It came $ack. It came $ack in slow motion, like a foot$all instant re(lay where you see the 5uarter$ack sacked or the winning (ass caught. It haunted his dreams in the days that came later. The door swinging o(en, the ironing $oard falling down to the hori=ontal with a ratcheting sound, reminding him somehow of a guillotine, his wife crammed into the s(ace $eneath and in her mouth a rag that had $een used to (olish the furniture. It came $ack in a kind of total recall and he knew he was going to scream again and so he slammed his forearm into his mouth and he $it it and the sound that came out was a fu==y, $locked howl. He did that twice, and something came out of him and he was calm. It was the false calm of shock, $ut it could $e used. The amor(hous fear and the unfocused terror fell away. The thro$$ing in his right hand was gone. And the thought that stole into his mind now was as cold as the calmness that had settled over him, as cold as the shock, and that thought was HA8LI4. He got u(, started for the tele(hone, and then turned $ack to the stairs. He stood at the to( for a moment, $iting at his li(s, steeling himself, and then he went $ack down. The dryer turned and turned. There was nothing in there $ut a (air of his +eans, and it was the $ig $rass $utton at the waist that made that clicking, clinking sound as they turned and fell, turned and fell. Andy shut the dryer off and looked into the ironing*$oard closet. &<icky,& he said softly. She stared at him with her dead eyes, his wife. He had walked with her, held her hand, entered her $ody in the dark of night. He found himself remem$ering the night she had drunk too much at a faculty (arty and he had held her head while she threw u(. And that memory $ecame the day he had $een washing the station wagon and he had gone into the garage for a moment to get the can of Turtle Wa- and she had (icked u( the hose and had run u( $ehind him and stuffed the hose down the $ack of his (ants. He remem$ered getting married and kissing her in front of everyone, relishing that kiss, her mouth, her ri(e, soft mouth. &<icky,& he said again, and uttered a long, trem$ling sigh. He (ulled her out and worked the rag from her mouth. Her head lolled lim( on her shoulders. He saw that the $lood had come from her right hand, where some of her fingernails had $een (ulled. There was a small trickle of $lood from one of her nostrils, $ut none anywhere else. Her neck had $een $roken $y a single hard $low. &<icky,& he whis(ered. harlie, his mind answered $ack. In the still calm that now filled his head, he understood that harlie had $ecome the im(ortant thing, the only im(ortant thing. 8ecriminations were for the future. He went $ack into the family room, not $othering to turn on the light this time. Across.the room, $y the ,ing*,ong ta$le, was a couch with a dro( cloth over it. He took the dro( cloth and went $ack into the laundry room and covered <icky with it. Somehow, the immo$ile sha(e of her under the sofa&s dro( cloth was worse. It held him nearly hy(noti=ed. Would she never move again) ould that $e) He uncovered her face and kissed her li(s. They were cold. They (ulled her nails, his mind marveled. Jesus hrist, they (ulled her nails. And he knew why. They wanted to know where harlie was. Somehow they had lost track of her when she went to Terri 'ugan&s house instead of coming home after day*cam(. They had (anicked, and now the watching (hase was over. <icky was dead * either on (ur(ose or $ecause some Sho( o(erative had got over=ealous. He knelt $eside <icky and thought it was (ossi$le that, (rodded $y her fear, she had done something rather more s(ectacular than shutting the fridge door from across the room. She might have shoved one of them away or knocked the feet out from $eneath one of them. Too $ad she hadn&t had enough to throw them into the wall at a$out fifty miles an hour, he thought. It could have $een that they knew +ust enough to make them nervous, he su((osed. 1ay$e they had even $een given s(ecific orders; The woman may $e e-tremely dangerous. If she does something * anything * to +eo(ardi=e the o(eration, get rid of her. @uick. 3r may$e they +ust didn&t like leaving witnesses. Something more than their share of the ta-(ayer&s dollar was at stake, after all. .ut the $lood. He should $e thinking a$out the $lood, which hadn&t even $een dry when he discovered it, only tacky. They hadn&t $een gone long when he arrived. 1ore insistently his mind said; harlie7 He kissed his wife again and said, &<icky, I&ll $e $ack.&
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.ut he had never seen <icky again, either. He had gone u(stairs to the tele(hone and looked u( the 'ugans& num$er in <icky&s ,hone*1ate. He dialed the num$er the Joan 'ugan answered. &Hi, Joan,& he said, and now the shock was aiding him; his voice was (erfectly calm, an everyday voice. & ould I s(eak to harlie for a second)& & harlie)& 1rs. 'ugan sounded dou$tful. &Well, she went with those two friends of yours. Those teachers. Is . . . wasn&t that all right)& Something inside of him went skyrocketing u( and then came (lunging down. His heart, may$e. .ut it would do no good to (anic this nice woman whom he had only met socially four or five times. It wouldn&t hel( him, and it wouldn&t hel( harlie. &'amn,& he said. &I was ho(ing to catch her still there. When did they go)& 1rs. 'ugan&s voice faded a little. &Terri, when did harlie go)& A child&s voice (i(ed something. He couldn&t tell what. There was sweat $etween his knuckles. &She says a$out fifteen minutes ago.& She was a(ologetic. &I was doing the laundry and I don&t have a watch. 3ne of them came down and s(oke to me. It was all right, wasn&t it, 1r. 1c2ee) He looked all right . . .& A lunatic im(ulse came to him, to +ust laugh lightly and say 'oing the laundry, were you) So was my wife. I found her crammed in under the ironing $oard. "ou got off lucky today, Joan. He said, &That&s fine. Were they coming right here, I wonder)&.The 5uestion was relayed to Terri, who said she didn&t know. Wonderful, Andy thought. 1y daughter&s life is in the hands of another si-*year*old girl. He gras(ed at a straw. &I have to go down to the market on the corner,& he said to 1rs. 'ugan. &Will you ask Terri if they had the car or the van) In case I see them.& This time he heard Terri. &It was the van. They went away in a gray van, like the one 'avid ,asioco&s father has.& &Thanks,& he said. 1rs. 'ugan said not to mention it. The im(ulse came again, this time +ust to scream 1y wife is dead7 down the line at her. 1y wife is dead and why were you doing your laundry while my daughter was getting into a gray van with a cou(le of strange men) Instead of screaming that or anything, he hung u( and went outside. The heat whacked him over the head and he staggered a little. Had it $een this hot when he came) It seemed much hotter now. The mailman had come. There was a Woolco advertising circular sticking out of the mail$o- that hadn&t $een there $efore. The mailman had come while he was downstairs cradling his dead wife in his arms. His (oor dead <icky; they had (ulled out her nails, and it was funny * much funnier than the way the keys had of accumulating, really * how the fact of death ke(t coming at you from different sides and different angles. "ou tried to +ig and +og, you tried to (rotect yourself on one side, and the truth of it $ored right in on another side. 'eath is a foot$all (layer, he thought, one $ig mother. 'eath is 6ranco Harris or Sam unningham or 1ean Joe 2reen. And it kee(s throwing you down on your ass right there at the line of scrimmage. 2et your feet moving, he thought. 6ifteen minutes& lead time * that&s not so much. It&s not a cold trail yet. !ot unless Terri 'ugan doesn&t know fifteen minutes from half an hour or two hours. !ever mind that, anyway. 2et going. He got going. He went $ack to the station wagon, which was (arked half on and half off& the sidewalk. He o(ened the driver&s*side door and then s(ared a glance $ack at his neat su$ur$an house on which the mortgage was half (aid. The $ank let you take a &(ayment vacation& two months a year if you needed it. Andy had never needed it. He looked at the house do=ing in the sun, and again his shocked eyes were caught $y the red flare of the Woolco circular sticking out of the mail$o-, and wha(7 death hit him again, making his eyes $lur and his teeth clam( down. He got in the car and drove away toward Terri 'ugan&s street, not going on any real, logical $elief that he could (ick u( their trail $ut only on $lind ho(e. He had not seen his house on onifer ,lace in Lakeland since then. His driving was $etter now. !ow that he knew the worst, his driving was a lot $etter. He turned on the radio and there was .o$ Seger singing &Still the Same.& He drove across Lakeland, moving as fast as he dared. 6or one terri$le moment he came u( $lank on the name of the street, and then it came to him. The 'ugans lived on .lassmore ,lace. He and <icky had +oked a$out that; .lassmore ,lace, with houses designed $y .ill .lass. He started to smile a little at the memory, and wha(7 the fact of her death hit him again, rocking him. He was there in ten minutes. .lassmore ,lace was a short dead end. !o way out for a gray van at the far end, +ust a cyclone fence that marked the edge of the John 2lenn Junior High School..Andy (arked the wagon at the intersection of .lassmore ,lace and 8idge Street. There was a green*over*white house on the corner. A lawn s(rinkler twirled. 3ut front were two kids, a girl and a $oy of a$out ten. They were taking turns on a skate$oard. The girl was wearing shorts, and she had a good set of sca$s on each knee. He got out of the wagon and walked toward them. They looked him u( and down carefully. &Hi,& he said. &I&m looking for my daughter. She (assed $y here a$out half an hour ago in a gray van. She was with . . . well, some friends of mine. 'id you see a gray van go $y)& The $oy shrugged vaguely. The girl said, &"ou worried a$out her, mister)& &"ou saw the van, didn&t you)& Andy asked (leasantly, and gave her a very slight (ush. Too much would $e counter(roductive. She would see the van going in any direction he
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wanted, including skyward. &"eah, I saw a van,& she said. She got on the skate$oard and glided toward the hydrant on the corner and then +um(ed off; &It went right u( there.& She (ointed farther u( .lassmore ,lace. Two or three intersections u( was arlisle Avenue, one of Harrison&s main thoroughfares. Andy had surmised that would $e the way they would go, $ut it was good to $e sure. &Thanks,& he said, and got $ack into the wagon. &"ou worried a$out her)& the girl re(eated. &"es, I am, a little,& Andy said. He turned the wagon around and drove three $locks u( .lassmore ,lace to the +unction with arlisle Avenue. This was ho(eless, utterly ho(eless. He felt a touch of (anic, +ust a small hot s(ot, $ut it would s(read. He made it go away, made himself concentrate on getting as far down their trail as (ossi$le. If he had to use the (ush, he would. He could give a lot of small hel(ing (ushes without making himself feel ill. He thanked 2od that he hadn&t used the talent * or the curse, if you wanted to look at it that way * all summer long. He was u( and fully charged, for whatever that was worth. arlisle Avenue was four lanes wide and regulated here $y a sto(*and*go light. There was a car wash on his right and an a$andoned diner on his left. Across the street was an 4--on station and 1ike&s amera Store. If they had turned left, they had headed downtown. 8ight, and they would $e headed out toward the air(ort and Interstate AG. Andy turned into the car wash. A young guy with an incredi$le shock of wiry red hair s(illing over the collar of his dull green coverall +ived over. He was eating a ,o(sicle. &!o can do, man,& he said $efore Andy could even o(en his mouth. &The rinse attachment $usted a$out an hour ago. We&re closed.& &I don&t want a wash,& Andy said. &I&m looking for a gray van that went through the intersection may$e half an hour ago. 1y daughter was in it, and I&m a little worried a$out her.& &"ou think some$ody might have snatched her)& He went right on eating his ,o(sicle. &!o, nothing like that,& Andy said. &'id you see the van)& &2ray van) Hey, good$uddy, you have any idea how many cars go $y here in +ust one hour) 3r half an hour) .usy street, man. arlisle is a very $usy street.& Andy cocked his thum$ over his shoulder. &It came from .lassmore ,lace. That&s not so $usy.& He got ready to add a little (ush, $ut he didn&t have to. The young guy&s eyes.suddenly $rightened. He $roke his ,o(sicle in two like a wish$one and sucked all the (ur(le ice off one of the sticks in a single im(ro$a$le slur(. &"eah, okay, right,& he said. &I did see it. I&ll tell you why I noticed. It cut across our tarmac to $eat the light. I don&t care myself, $ut it irritates the shit out of the $oss when they do that. !ot that it matters today with the rinser on the frit=. He&s got something else to $e irritated a$out.& &So the van headed toward the air(ort.& The guy nodded, fli((ed one of the ,o(sicle sticks $ack over his shoulder, and started on the remaining chunk. &Ho(e you find your girl, good$uddy. If you don&t mind a little, like, gray*tuitous advice, you ought to call the co(s if you&re really worried.& &I don&t think that would do much good,& Andy said. &>nder the circumstances.& He got $ack in the wagon again, crossed the tarmac himself, and turned onto arlisle Avenue. He was now headed west. The area was cluttered with gas stations, car washes, fast*food franchises, used*car lots. A drive*in advertised a dou$le $ill consisting 3f TH4 38,S4 28I!'48S and .L33'" 148 HA!TS 36 '4ATH. He looked at the mar5uee and heard the ironing $oard ratcheting out of its closet like a guillotine. His stomach rolled over. He (assed under a sign announcing that you could get on I*AG a mile and a half farther west, if that was your (leasure. .eyond that was a smaller sign with an air(lane on it. 3kay, he had got this far. !ow what) Suddenly he (ulled into the (arking lot of a Shakey&s ,i==a. It was no good sto((ing and asking along here. As the car*wash guy had said, arlisle was a $usy street. He could (ush (eo(le until his $rains were leaking out his ears and only succeed in confusing himself. It was the turn(ike or the air(ort, anyway. He was sure of it. The lady or the tiger. He had never in his life tried to make one of the hunches come. He sim(ly took them as gifts when they did come, and usually acted on them. !ow he slouched farther down in the driver&s seat of the wagon, touching his tem(les lightly with the ti(s of his fingers, and tried to make something come. The motor was idling, the radio was still on. The 8olling Stones. 'ance, little sister, dance. harlie, he thought. She had gone off to Terri&s with her clothes stuffed in the kna(sack she wore +ust a$out everywhere. That had (ro$a$ly hel(ed to fool them. The last time he had seen her, she was wearing +eans and a salmon*colored shell to(. Her hair was in (igtails, as it almost always was. A nonchalant good*$ye, 'addy, and a kiss and holy Jesus, harlie, where are you now) !othing came. !ever mind. Sit a little longer. Listen to the Stones. Shakey&s ,i==a. "ou get your choice, thin crust or crunchy. "ou (ays your money and you takes your choice, as 2ranther 1c2ee used to say. The Stones e-horting little sister to dance, dance, dance. @uincey saying they&d (ro$a$ly (ut her in a room so two hundred and twenty million Americans could $e safe and free. <icky. He and <icky had had a hard time with the se(art of it at first. She had $een scared to death. Just call me the Ice 1aiden, she had said through her tears after that first misera$le $otched time. !o se-, (lease we&re .ritish. .ut somehow the Lot Si- e-(eriment had hel(ed with that * the totality they had shared was, in its own way, like mating. Still it had $een difficult. A little at a time. 2entleness.
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Tears. <icky $eginning to res(ond, then stiffening, crying out 'on&t, it&ll hurt, don&t,.Andy, sto( it7 And somehow it was the Lot Si- e-(eriment, that common e-(erience, that had ena$led him to go on trying, like a safecracker who knows that there is a way, always a way. And there had come a night when they got through it. Later there came a night when it was all right. Then, suddenly, a night when it was glorious. 'ance, little sister, dance. He had $een with her when harlie was $orn. A 5uick, easy delivery. @uick to fi-, easy to (lease .... !othing was coming. The trail was getting colder and he had nothing. The air(ort or the turn(ike) The lady or the tiger) The Stones finished. The 'oo$ie .rothers came on, wanting to know without love, where would you $e right now. Andy didn&t know. The sun $eat down. The lines in the Shakey&s (arking lot had $een freshly (ainted. They were very white and firm against the $lack*to(. The lot was more than three 5uarters full. It was lunchtime. Had harlie got her lunch) Would they feed her) 1ay$e 9may$e they&ll sto( make a service sto( you know at one of those Ho+os along the (ike * after all they can&t drive can&t drive can&t drive: Where) an&t drive where) 9can&t drive all the way to <irginia without making a rest sto( can they) I mean a little girl has got to sto( and take a tinkle sometime, doesn&t she): He straightened u(, feeling an immense $ut num$ feeling of gratitude. It had come, +ust like that. !ot the air(ort, which would have $een his first guess, if he had only $een guessing. !ot the air(ort $ut the turn(ike. He wasn&t com(letely sure the hunch was $ona fide, $ut he was (retty sure. And it was $etter than not having any idea at all. He rolled the station wagon over the freshly (ainted arrow (ointing the way out and turned right on arlisle again. Ten minutes later he was on the turn(ike, headed east with a toll ticket tucked into the $attered, annotated co(y of ,aradise Lost on the seat $eside him. Ten minutes after that, Harrison, 3hio, was $ehind him. He had started on the tri( east that would $ring him to Tashmore, <ermont, fourteen months later. The calm held. He (layed the radio loud and that hel(ed. Song followed song and he only recogni=ed the older ones $ecause he had (retty much sto((ed listening to (o( music three or four years ago. !o (articular reason/ it had +ust ha((ened. They still had the +um( on him, $ut the calm insisted with its own cold logic that it was a very good +um( * and that he would $e asking for trou$le if he +ust started roaring along the (assing lane at seventy. He (egged the s(eedometer at +ust over si-ty, reasoning that the men who had taken harlie would not want to e-ceed the fifty*five s(eed limit. They could flash their credentials at any Smokey who (ulled them down for s(eeding, that was true, $ut they might have a certain amount of difficulty e-(laining a screaming si-*year*old child +ust the same. It might slow them down, and it would surely get them in dutch with whoever was (ulling the strings on this show. They could have drugged her and hidden her, his mind whis(ered. Then if they got sto((ed for $usting along at seventy, even eighty, they&d only have to show their (a(er and kee( right on going. Is an 3hio state co( going to toss a van that $elongs to the Sho() Andy struggled with that as eastern 3hio flowed $y. 6irst, they might $e scared to drug harlie. Sedating a child can $e a tricky $usiness unless you&re an e-(ert . . . and they might not $e sure what sedation would do to the (owers they were su((osed to $e.investigating. Second, a state co( might +ust go ahead and toss the van anyway, or at least hold them in the $reakdown lane while he checked the validity of their I'. Third, why should they $e $usting their asses) They had no idea anyone was onto them. It was still not one o&clock. Andy was su((osed to $e at the college until two o&clock. The Sho( (eo(le would not e-(ect him to arrive $ack home until two*twenty or so at the earliest and (ro$a$ly felt they could count on anywhere from twenty minutes to two hours after that $efore the alarm was raised. Why shouldn&t they +ust $e loafing along) Andy went a little faster. 6orty minutes (assed, then fifty. It seemed longer. He was $eginning to sweat a little/ worry was ni$$ling through the artificial ice of calm and shock. Was the van really some(lace u( ahead, or had the whole thing $een so much wishful thinking) The traffic (atterns formed and re*formed. He saw two gray vans. !either of them looked like the one he had seen cruising around Lakeland. 3ne was driven $y an elderly man with flying white hair. The other was full of freaks smoking do(e. The driver saw Andy&s close scrutiny and waved a roach cli( at him. The girl $eside him (o((ed u( her middle finger, kissed it gently, and ti((ed it Andy&s way. Then they were $ehind him. His head was $eginning to ache. The traffic was heavy, the sun was $right. 4ach car was loaded with chrome, and each (iece of chrome had its own arrow of sun to flick into his eyes. He (assed a sign that said 84ST A84A % 1IL4 AH4A'. He had $een in the (assing lane. !ow he signaled right and sli((ed into the travel lane again. He let his s(eed dro( to forty*five, then to forty. A small s(orts car (assed him and the driver $li((ed his horn at Andy in irritated fashion as he went $y. 84ST A84A, the sign announced. It wasn&t a service sto(, sim(ly a turn*out with slant (arking, a water fountain, and $athrooms. There were four or five cars (arked in there and one gray van. The gray van. He was almost sure of it. His heart $egan to slam against the walls of his chest. He turned in with a 5uick twist of the station wagon&s wheel, and the tires made a low wailing sound. He drove slowly down the entranceway toward the van, looking around, trying to take in everything at once. There were two (icnic ta$les with a family at each one. 3ne grou( was +ust clearing u( and getting ready to go, the mother (utting leftovers into a $right orange carrier $ag, the father and the two kids (olicing u( the +unk and taking it over to the trash $arrel. At the other ta$le a young man and woman were eating sandwiches and
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(otato salad. There was a slee(ing $a$y in a carrier seat $etween them. The $a$y was wearing a corduroy +um(er with a lot of dancing ele(hants on it. 3n the grass, $etween two $ig and $eautiful old elms, were two girls of a$out twenty, also having lunch. There was no sign of harlie or of any men who looked $oth young enough and tough enough to $elong to the Sho(. Andy killed the station wagon&s engine. He could feel his heart$eat in his eye$alls now. The van looked em(ty. He got out. An old woman using a cane came out of the ladies& comfort station and walked slowly toward an old $urgundy .iscayne. A gent of a$out her age got out from $ehind the wheel, walked around the hood, o(ened her door, and handed her in. He went $ack, started u( the .iscayne, a $ig +et of oily $lue smoke coming from the e-haust (i(e, and $acked out. The men&s*room door o(ened and harlie came out. 6lanking her on the left and right were men of a$out thirty in s(ort coats, o(en*throated shirts, and dark dou$le*knit (ants. harlie&s face looked $lank and shocked. She looked from one of the men to the other and.then $ack at the first. Andy&s guts $egan to roll hel(lessly. She was wearing her (ack sack. They were walking toward the van. harlie said something to one of them and he shook his head. She turned to the other. He shrugged, then said something to his (artner over harlie&s head. The other one nodded. They turned around and walked toward the drinking fountain. Andy&s heart was $eating faster than ever. Adrenaline s(illed into his $ody in a sour, +ittery flood. He was scared, scared (lenty, $ut something else was (um(ing u( inside him and it was anger, it was total fury. The fury was even $etter than the calm. It felt almost sweet. Those were the two men out there that had killed his wife and stolen his daughter, and if they weren&t right with Jesus, he (itied them. As they went to the drinking fountain with harlie/ their $acks were to him. Andy got out of the wagon and ste((ed $ehind the van. The family of four who had +ust finished their lunch walked over to a new midsi=ed 6ord, got in, and $acked out. The mother glanced over at Andy with no curiosity at all, the way (eo(le look at each other when they are on long tri(s, moving slowly through the digestive tract of the >.S. turn(ike system. They drove off, showing a 1ichigan (late. There were now three cars and the gray van and Andy&s station wagon (arked in the rest area. 3ne of the cars $elonged to the girls. Two more (eo(le were strolling across the grounds, and there was one man inside the little information $ooth, looking at the I*AG ma(, his hands tucked into the $ack (ockets of his +eans. Andy had no idea of e-actly what he was going to do. harlie finished her drink. 3ne of the two men $ent over and took a si(. Then they started $ack toward their van. Andy was looking at them from around the van&s $ack*left corner. harlie looked scared, really scared. She had $een crying. Andy tried the $ack door of the van, not knowing why, $ut it was no good anyway/ it was locked. A$ru(tly he ste((ed out into full view. They were very 5uick. Andy saw the recognition come into their eyes immediately, even $efore the gladness flooded harlie&s face, driving away that look of $lank, frightened shock. &'addy7& she cried shrilly, causing the young cou(le with the $a$y to look around. 3ne of the girls under the elms shaded her eyes to see what was ha((ening. harlie tried to run to him and one of the men gra$$ed her $y the shoulder and hauled her $ack against him, half*twisting her (ack sack from her shoulders. An instant later there was a gun in his hand. He had (roduced it from somewhere under his s(ort coat like a magician doing an evil trick. He (ut the $arrel against harlie&s tem(le. The other man $egan to stroll unhurriedly away from harlie and his (artner, then $egan to move in on Andy. His hand was in his coat, $ut his con+uring was not as good as his (artner&s had $een/ he was having a little trou$le (roducing his gun. &1ove away from the van if you don&t want anything to ha((en to your daughter,& the one with the gun said. &'addy7& harlie cried again. Andy moved slowly away from the van. The other fellow, who was (rematurely $ald, had his gun out now. He (ointed it at Andy. He was less than five feet away. &I advise you very sincerely not to move,& he said in a low voice. &This is a olt forty*five and it makes a giant hole.&.The young guy with his wife and $a$y at the (icnic ta$le got u(. He was wearing rimless glasses and he looked severe. &What e-actly is going on here)& he asked in the carrying, enunciated tones of a college instructor. The man with harlie turned toward him. The mu==le of his gun floated slightly away from her so that the young man could see it. &2overnment $usiness,& he said. &Stay right where you are/ everything is fine.& The young man&s wife gra$$ed his arm and (ulled him down. Andy looked at the $alding agent and said in a low, (leasant voice, &That gun is much too hot to hold.& .aldy looked at him, (u==led. Then, suddenly, he screamed and dro((ed his revolver. It struck the (avement and went off; 3ne of the girls under the elms let out a (u==led, sur(rised shout. .aldy was holding his hand and dancing around. 6resh white $listers a((eared on his (alm, rising like $read dough. The man with harlie stared at his (artner, and for a moment the gun was totally distracted from her small head. &"ou&re $lind,& Andy told him, and (ushed +ust as hard as he could. A sickening wrench of (ain twisted through his head. The man screamed suddenly. He let go of harlie and his hands went to his eyes. & harlie,& Andy said in a low voice, and his daughter ran to him and clutched his legs in a trem$ling $ear hug. The man inside the information $ooth ran out to see what was
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going on. .aldy, still clutching his $urned hand, ran toward Andy and harlie. His face worked horri$ly. &2o to slee(,& Andy said curtly, and (ushed again. .adly dro((ed s(rawling as if (ole*a-ed. His forehead $onked on the (avement. The young wife of the stern young man moaned. Andy&s head hurt $adly now, and he was remotely glad that it was summer and that he hadn&t used the (ush, even to (rod a student who was letting his grades sli( for no good reason, since (erha(s 1ay. He was charged u( * $ut charged u( or not, 2od knew he was going to (ay for what he was doing this hot summer afternoon. The $lind man was staggering around on the grass, holding his hands u( to his face and screaming. He walked into a green $arrel with ,>T LITT48 I! ITS ,LA 4 stenciled on its side and fell down in an overturned +um$le of sandwich $ags, $eer cans, cigarette $utts, and em(ty soda $ottles. &3h 'addy, +ee= I was so scared,& harlie said, and $egan to cry. &The wagon&s right over there. See it)& Andy heard himself say. &2et in and I&ll $e with you in a minute.& &Is 1ommy here)& &!o. Just get in, harlie.& He couldn&t deal with that now. !ow, somehow, he had to deal with these witnesses. &What the hell is this)& the man from the information $ooth asked, $ewildered. &1y eyes,& the man who had had his gun u( to harlie&s head screamed. &1y eyes, my eyes. What did you do to my eyes, you son of a $itch)& He got u(. There was a sandwich $ag sticking to one of his hands. He $egan to totter off toward the information $ooth, and the man in the $lue+eans darted $ack inside. &2o, harlie.&.&Will you come, 'addy)& &"es, in +ust a second. !ow go.& harlie went, $lond (igtails $ouncing. Her (ack sack was still hanging askew. Andy walked (ast the slee(ing Sho( agent, thought a$out his gun, and decided he didn&t want it. He walked over to the young (eo(le at the (icnic ta$le. 0ee( it small, he told himself. 4asy. Little ta(s. 'on&t go starting any echoes. The o$+ect is not to hurt these (eo(le. The young woman gra$$ed her $a$y from its carrier seat rudely, waking it. It $egan to. cry. &'on&t you come near me, you cra=y (erson7& she said. Andy looked at the man and his wife. &!one of this is very im(ortant,& he said, and (ushed. 6resh (ain settled over the $ack of his head like a s(ider . . . and sank in. The young man looked relieved. &Well, thank 2od.& His wife offered a tentative smile. The (ush hadn&t taken so well with her/ her maternity had $een aroused. &Lovely $a$y you have there,& Andy said. &Little $oy, isn&t it)& The $lind man ste((ed off the cur$ing, (itched forward, and struck his head on the door(ost of the red ,into that (ro$a$ly $elonged to the two girls. He howled. .lood flowed from his tem(le. &I&m $lind.& he screamed again. The young woman&s tentative smile $ecame radiant. &"es, a $oy,& she said. &His name is 1ichael.& &Hi, 1ike,& Andy said. He ruffled the $a$y&s mostly $ald head. &I can&t think why he&s crying,& the young woman said. &He was slee(ing so well until +ust now. He must $e hungry.& &Sure, that&s it,& her hus$and said. &4-cuse me.& Andy walked toward the information $ooth. There was no time to lose now. Someone else could turn into this roadside $edlam at any time. &What is it, man)& the fellow in the $lue+eans asked. &Is it a $ust)& &!ah, nothing ha((ened,& Andy said, and gave another light (ush. It was starting make him feel sick now. His head thudded and (ounded. &3h,& the fellow said. &Well, I was +ust trying to figure out how to get to hagrin 6alls from here. 4-cuse me.& And he sauntered $ack inside the information $ooth. The two girls had retreated to the security fence that se(arated the turn*out from the (rivate farmland $eyond it. They stared at him with wide eyes. The $lind man was now shuffling around on the (avement in a circle with his arms held stiffly out in front of him. He was cursing and wee(ing. Andy advanced slowly toward the girls, holding his hands out to show them there was nothing in them. He s(oke to them. 3ne of them asked him a 5uestion and he s(oke again. Shortly they $oth $egan to smile relieved smiles and to nod. Andy waved to them and they $oth waved in return. Then he walked ra(idly across the grass toward the station wagon. His forehead was $eaded with cold sweat and his stomach was rolling greasily. He could only (ray that no one would drive in $efore he and harlie got away, $ecause there was nothing left. He was com(letely ti((ed over. He slid in $ehind the wheel and keyed the engine. &'addy,& harlie said, and threw herself at him, $uried her face against his chest. He hugged her $riefly and then $acked out of the (arking lot. Turning his head was agony..The $lack horse. In the aftermath, that was the thought that always came to him. He had let the $lack horse out of its stall somewhere in the dark $arn of his su$conscious and now it would again $atter its way u( and down through his $rain. He would have to get them some(lace and lay u(. @uick. He wasn&t going to $e ca(a$le of driving for long. &The $lack horse,& he said thickly. It was coming. !o . . . no. It wasn&t coming/ it was here. Thud... thud . . . thud. "es, it was here. It was free. &'addy, look out7& harlie screamed. The $lind man had staggered directly across their (ath. Andy $raked. The $lind man
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$egan to (ound on the hood of the wagon and scream for hel(. To their right, the young mother had $egun to $reast feed her $a$y. Her hus$and was reading a (a(er$ack. The man from the information $ooth had gone over to talk to the two girls from the red ,into * (erha(s ho(ing for some 5uickie e-(erience kinky enough to write u( for the ,enthouse 6orum. S(rawled out on the (avement, .aldy sle(t on. The other o(erative (ounded on the hood of the wagon again and again. &Hel( me7& he screamed. &I&m $lind7 'irty $astard did something to my eyes7 I&m $linds& &'addy,& harlie moaned. 6or a cra=y instant, he almost floored the accelerator. Inside his aching head he could hear the sound the tires would make, could feel the dull thudding of the wheels as they (assed over the $ody. He had kidna((ed harlie and held a gun to her head. ,erha(s he had $een the one who had stuffed the rag into <icky&s mouth so she wouldn&t scream when they (ulled out her fingernails. It would $e so very good to kill him . . . e-ce(t then what would se(arate him from them) He laid on the horn instead. It sent another $right s(ear of agony through his head. The $lind man lea(ed away from the car as if stung. Andy hauled the wheel around and drove (ast him. The last thing he saw in the rearview mirror as he drove down the reentry lane was the $lind man sitting on the (avement, his face twisted in anger and terror . . . and the young woman (lacidly raising $a$y 1ichael to her shoulder to $ur( him. He entered the flow of turn(ike traffic without looking. A horn $lared/ tires s5ualled. A $ig Lincoln swerved around the wagon and the driver shook his fist at them. &'addy, are you okay)& &I will $e,& he said. His voice seemed to come from far away. & harlie, look at the toll ticket and see what the ne-t e-it is.& The traffic $lurred in front of his eyes. It dou$led, tre$led, came $ack together, then drifted into (rismatic fragments again. Sun reflecting off $right chrome everywhere. &And fasten your seat$elt, harlie.& The ne-t e-it was Hammersmith, twenty miles farther u(. Somehow he made it. He thought later that it was only the consciousness of harlie sitting ne-t to him, de(ending on him, that ke(t him on the road. Just as harlie had got him through all the things that came after * the knowledge of harlie, needing him. harlie 1c2ee, whose (arents had once needed two hundred dollars. There was a .est Western at the foot of the Hammersmith ram(, and Andy managed to get them checked in, s(ecifying a room away from the turn(ike. He used a $ogus name. &They&ll $e after us, harlie,& he said. &I need to slee(. .ut only until dark, that&s all the time we can take . . . all we dare to take. Wake me u( when it&s dark.& She said something else, $ut then he was falling on the $ed. The world was $lurring down to a gray (oint, and then even the (oint was gone and everything was darkness,.where the (ain couldn&t reach. There was no (ain and there were no dreams. When harlie shook him awake again on that hot August evening at 5uarter (ast seven, the room was stifling hot and his clothes were soaked with sweat. She had tried to make the air conditioner work $ut hadn&t $een a$le to figure out the controls. &It&s okay,& he said. He swung his feet onto the floor and (ut his hands on his tem(les, s5uee=ing his head so it wouldn&t $low u(. &Is it any $etter, 'addy)& she asked an-iously. &A little,& he said. And it was . . . $ut only a little. &We&ll sto( in a little while and get some chow. That&ll hel( some more.& &Where are we going)& He shook his head slowly $ack and forth. He had only the money he had left the house with that morning * a$out seventeen dollars. He had his 1aster harge and his <isa, $ut he had (aid for their room with the two twenties he always ke(t in the $ack of his wallet 9my run*out money, he sometimes told <icky, +oking, $ut how hellishly true that had turned out to $e: rather than use either one of them. >sing either of those cards would $e like (ainting a sign; THIS WA" T3 TH4 6>2ITI<4 3LL424 I!ST8> T38 A!' HIS 'A>2HT48. The seventeen dollars would $uy them some $urgers and to( off the wagon&s gas tank once. Then they would $e stone $roke. &&I don&t know, harlie,& he said. &Just away.& &When are we going to get 1ommy)& Andy looked u( at her and his headache started to get worse again. He thought of the dro(s of $lood on the floor and on the washing*machine (orthole. Ire thought of the smell of ,ledge. & harlie * & he said, and could say no more. There was no need, anyway. She looked at him with slowly widening eyes. Her hand drifted u( to her trem$ling mouth. &3h no, 'addy . . . (lease say it&s no.& & harlie * & She screamed, &3h (lease say it&s no7& & harlie, those (eo(le who * & &,lease say she&s all right, say she&s all right, say she&s all right7& The room, the room was so hot, the air conditioning was off, that was all it was, $ut it was so hot, his head aching, the sweat rolling down his face, not cold sweat now $ut hot, like oil, hot * &!o,& harlie was saying, &!o, no, no, no, no.& She shook her head. Her (igtails flew $ack and forth, making him think a$surdly of the first time he and <icky had taken her to the amusement (ark, the carousel * It wasn&t the lack of air conditioning. & harlie7& He yelled. & harlie, the $athtu$7 The water7& She screamed. She turned her head toward the o(en $athroom door and there was a sudden $lue flash in there like a light$ul$ $urning out. The showerhead fell off the wall
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and clattered into the tu$, twisted and $lack. Several of the $lue tiles shattered to fragments. He $arely caught her when she fell, so$$ing. &'addy, I&m sorry, I&m sorry * & &It&s all right,& he said shakily, and enfolded her. 6rom the $athroom, thin smoke drifted.out of the fused tu$. All the (orcelain surfaces had crack*gla=ed instantly. It was as if the entire $athroom had $een run through some (owerful $ut defective firing kiln. The towels were smoldering. &It&s all right,& he said, holding her, rocking her. & harlie, it&s all right, it&s gonna $e all right, somehow it&ll come right, I (romise.& &I want 1ommy,& she so$$ed. He nodded. He wanted her, too. He held harlie tightly to him and smelled o=one and (orcelain and cooked .est Western towels. She had almost flash*fried them $oth. &It&s gonna $e all right,& he told her, and rocked her, not really $elieving it, $ut it was the litany, it was the ,salter, the voice of the adult calling down the $lack well of years into the misera$le (it of terrori=ed childhood/ it was what you said when things went wrong/ it was the nightlight that could not $anish the monster from the closet $ut (erha(s only kee( it at $ay for a little while/ it was the voice without (ower that must s(eak nevertheless. &It&s gonna $e all right,& he told her, not really $elieving it, knowing as every adult knows in his secret heart that nothing is really all right, ever. &It&s gonna $e all right.& He was crying. He couldn&t hel( it now. His tears came in a flood and he held her to his chest as tightly as he could. & harlie, I swear to you, somehow, it&s gonna $e all right.& I The one thing they had not $een a$le to hang around his neck * as much as they might have liked to * was the murder of <icky. Instead, they had elected to sim(ly erase what had ha((ened in the laundry room. Less trou$le for them. Sometimes * not often * Andy wondered what their neigh$ors $ack in Lakeland might have s(eculated. .ill collectors) 1arital (ro$lems) 1ay$e a drug ha$it or an incident of child a$use) They hadn&t known anyone on onifer ,lace well enough for it to have $een any more than idle dinnerta$le chat, a nine days& wonder soon forgotten when the $ank that held the mortgage released their house. Sitting on the deck now and looking out into darkness, Andy thought he might have had more luck that day than he had known 9or $een a$le to a((reciate:. He had arrived too late to save <icky, $ut he had left $efore the 8emoval ,eo(le arrived. There had never $een a thing a$out it in the (a(er, not even a s5ui$ a$out how * funny thing7 an 4nglish instructor named Andrew 1c2ee and his family had +ust u( and disa((eared. ,erha(s the Sho( had got that 5uashed, too. Surely he had $een re(orted missing/ one or all of the guys he had $een eating lunch with that day would have done that much. .ut it hadn&t made the (a(ers, and of course, $ill collectors don&t advertise. &They would have hung it on me if they could,& he said, unaware that he had s(oken aloud. .ut they couldn&t have. The medical e-aminer could have fi-ed the time of death, and Andy, who had $een in (lain sight of some disinterested third (arty 9and in the case of 4h * %%D, Style and the Short Story, from ten to eleven*thirty, twenty*five disinterested third (arties: all that day, could not have $een set u( to take the fall. 4ven if he&d $een una$le to (rovide su$stantiation for his movements during the critical time, there was no.motive. So the two of them had killed <icky and then gone haring off after harlie * $ut not without notifying what Andy thought of as the 8emoval ,eo(le 9and in his mind&s eye he even saw them that way, smooth*faced young men dressed in white coveralls:. And sometime after he had gone haring off after harlie, may$e as short a time as five minutes, $ut almost surely no longer than an hour, the 8emoval ,eo(le would have rolled u( to his door. While onifer ,lace do=ed the afternoon away, <icky had $een 8emoved. They might even have reasoned * correctly * that a missing wife would have $een more of a (ro$lem for Andy than a (rova$ly dead one. !o $ody, no estimated time of death. !o estimated time of death, no ali$i. He would $e watched, cosseted, (olitely tied down. 3f course they would have (ut harlie&s descri(tion out on the wire * <icky&s too, for that matter * $ut Andy would not have $een free to sim(ly go tearing off on his own. So she had $een 8emoved, and now he didn&t even know where she was $uried. 3r may$e she had $een cremated. 3r * 3h shit why are you doing this to yourself) He stood u( a$ru(tly and (oured the remainder of 2ranther&s mule*kick over the deck railing. It was all in the (ast/ none of it could $e changed/ it was time to sto( thinking a$out it. A neat trick if you could do it. He looked u( at the dark sha(es of the trees and s5uee=ed the glass tightly in his right hand, and the thought crossed his mind again. , harlie I swear to you, somehow it&s gonna $e all right. D That winter in Tashmore, so long after his misera$le awakening in that 3hio motel, it seemed his des(erate (rediction had finally come true. It was not an idyllic winter for them. !ot long after hristmas, harlie caught a cold and snuffled and coughed her way through to early A(ril, when it finally cleared u( for good. 6or a while she ran a fever. Andy fed her as(irin halves and told himself that if the fever did not go down in three days& time, he would have to take her to the doctor across the lake in .radford, no matter what the conse5uences. .ut her fever did go down, and for the rest of the winter harlie&s cold was only a constant annoyance to her. Andy managed to get himself a minor case of frost$ite on one memora$le occasion in 1arch and nearly managed to $urn them $oth u(
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one screaming, su$=ero night in 6e$ruary $y overloading the woodstove. Ironically, it was harlie who woke u( in the middle of the night and discovered the cottage was much too hot. 3n 'ecem$er %B they cele$rated his $irthday and on 1arch ?B they cele$rated harlie&s. She was eight, and sometimes Andy looked at her with a kind of wonder, as if catching sight of her for the first time. She was not a little girl anymore/ she stood to (ast his el$ow. Her hair had got long again, and she had taken to $raiding it to kee( it out of her eyes. She was going to $e $eautiful. She already was, red nose and all. They were without a car. Irv 1anders&s Willys had fro=en solid in January, and Andy thought the $lock was cracked. He had started it every day, more from a sense of res(onsi$ility than anything else, $ecause not even four*wheel drive would have (ulled.them out of 2ranther&s cam( after the !ew "ear. The snow, undistur$ed e-ce(t for the tracks of s5uirrels, chi(munks, a few deer, and a (ersistent raccoon that came around to sniff& ho(efully at the gar$age hold, was almost two feet dee( $y then. There were old*fashioned cross*country skis in the small shed $ehind the cottage * three (airs of them, $ut none that would fit harlie. It was +ust as well. Andy ke(t her indoors as much as (ossi$le. They could live with her cold, $ut he did not want to risk a return of the fever. He found an old (air of 2ranther&s ski $oots, dusty and cracked with age, tucked away in a card$oard toilet*tissue $o- under the ta$le where the old man had once (laned shutters and made doors. Andy oiled them, fle-ed them, and then found he still could not fill 2ranther&s shoes without stuffing the toes full of news(a(er. There was something funny a$out that, $ut he also found it a touch ominous. He thought a$out 2ranther a lot that long winter and wondered what he would have made of their (redicament. Half a do=en times that winter he hooked u( the cross*country skis 9no modern sna( * $indings here, only a confusing and irritating tangle of stra(s, $uckles, and rings: and worked his way across the wide, fro=en e-(anse of Tashmore ,ond to the .radford Town Landing. 6rom there, a small, winding road led into the village, tucked neatly away in the hills two miles east of the lake. He always left $efore first light, with 2ranther&s kna(sack on his $ack, and never arrived $ack $efore three in the afternoon. 3n one occasion he $arely $eat a howling snowstorm that would have left him $linded and directionless and wandering on the ice. harlie cried with relief when he came in * and then went into a long, alarming coughing fit. The tri(s to .radford were for su((lies and clothes for him and harlie. He had 2ranther&s struttin money, and later on, he $roke into three of the larger cam(s at the far end of Tashmore ,ond and stole money. He was not (roud of this, $ut it seemed to him a matter of survival. The cam(s he chose might have sold on the real*estate market for eighty thousand dollars a(iece, and he su((osed the owners could afford to lose their thirty or forty dollars& worth of cookie*+ar money * which was e-actly where most of them ke(t it. The only other thing he touched that winter was the large range*oil drum $ehind the large, modern cottage 5uaintly named A1, 3!6>SI3!. 6rom this drum he took a$out forty gallons of oil. He didn&t like going to .radford. He didn&t like the certain knowledge that the oldsters who sat around the $ig (ot$ellied stove down $y the cash register were talking a$out the stranger who was staying across the lake in one of the cam(s. Stories had a way of getting around, and sometimes they got into the wrong ears. It wouldn&t take much * only a whis(er * for the Sho( to make an inevita$le connection $etween Andy, his grandfather, and his grandfather&s cottage in Tashmore, <ermont. .ut he sim(ly didn&t know what else to do. They had to eat, and they couldn&t s(end the entire winter living on canned sardines. He wanted fresh fruit for harlie, and vitamin (ills, and clothes. harlie had arrived with nothing to her name $ut a dirty $louse, a (air of red (ants, and a single (air of underdrawers. There was no cough medicine that he trusted, there were no fresh vegeta$les, and, cra=ily enough, hardly any matches. 4very cam( he $roke into had a fire(lace, $ut he found only a single $o- of 'iamond wooden matches. He could have gone farther afield * there were other cam(s and cottages * $ut many of the other areas were (lowed out and (atrolled $y the Tashmore consta$ulary. And on.many of the roads there were at least one or two year*round residents. In the .radford general store he was a$le to $uy all the things he needed, including three (airs of heavy (ants and three woolen shirts that were a((ro-imately harlie&s si=e. There was no girls& underwear, and she had to make do with si=e*eight Jockey shorts. This disgusted and amused harlie $y turns. 1aking the si-*mile round tri( across to .radford on 2ranther&s skis was $oth a $urden and a (leasure to Andy. He didn&t like leaving harlie alone, not $ecause he didn&t trust her $ut $ecause he always lived with the fear of coming $ack and finding her gone . . . or dead. The old $oots gave him $listers no matter how many (airs of socks he (ut on. If he tried to move too fast, he gave himself headaches, and then he would remem$er the small num$ (laces on his face and envision his $rain as an old $ald tire, a tire that had $een used so long and hard that it was down to the canvas in (laces. If he had a stroke in the middle of this damned lake and fro=e to death, what would ha((en to harlie then) .ut he did his $est thinking on these tri(s. The silence had a way of clearing the head. Tashmore ,ond itself was not wide * Andy&s (ath across it from the west $ank to the east was less than a mile * $ut it was very long. With the snow lying four feet dee( over the ice $y 6e$ruary, he sometimes (aused halfway across and looked slowly to his right and left. The lake then a((eared to $e a long corridor floored with da==ling white tile * clean, un$roken, stretching out of sight in either direction. Sugar*dusted (ines $ordered it all around. A$ove was the hard, da==ling, and merciless $lue sky of winter, or the low and featureless white of coming snow. There might $e the far*off call of a crow, or the low, ri((ling thud of the ice stretching, $ut that was all. The e-ercise toned u( his $ody.
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He grew a warm singlet of sweat $etween his skin and his clothes, and it felt good to work u( a sweat and then wi(e it off your $row. He had somehow forgotten that feeling while teaching "eats and Williams and correcting $lue$ooks. In this silence, and through the e-ertion of working his $ody hard, his thoughts came clear and he worked the (ro$lem over in his mind. Something had to $e done * should have $een done long since, $ut that was in the (ast. They had come to 2ranther&s (lace for the winter, $ut they were still running. The uneasy way he felt a$out the oldtimers sitting around the stove with their (i(es and their in5uisitive eyes was enough to ram that fact home. He and harlie were in a corner, and there had to $e some way out of it. And he was still angry, $ecause it wasn&t right. They had no right. His family were American citi=ens, living in a su((osedly o(en society, and his wife had $een murdered, his daughter kidna((ed, the two of them hunted like ra$$its in a hedgerow. He thought again that if he could get the story across to someone * or to several someones * the whole thing could $e $lown out of the water. He hadn&t done it $efore $ecause that odd hy(nosis * the same sort of hy(nosis that had resulted in <icky&s death * had continued, at least to some degree. He hadn&t wanted his daughter growing u( like a freak in a sideshow. He hadn&t wanted her institutionali=ed * not for the good of the country and not for her own good. And worst of all, he had continued to lie to himself. 4ven after he had seen his wife crammed into the ironing closet in the laundry with that rag in her mouth, he had continued to lie to himself and tell himself that sooner or later they would $e left alone. Just (laying for fun=ies, they had said as kids. 4very$ody has to give $ack the money at the end. 4-ce(t they weren&t kids, they weren&t (laying for fun=ies, and no$ody was going to give him and harlie anything $ack when the game was over. This game was for kee(s..In silence he $egan to understand certain hard truths. In a way, harlie was a freak, not much different from the thalidomide $a$ies of the si-ties or those children of mothers who had taken '4S/ the doctors +ust hadn&t known that those girl children were going to develo( vaginal tumors in a$normal num$ers fourteen or si-teen years down the road. It was not harlie&s fault, $ut that did not change the fact. Her strangeness, her freakishness, was sim(ly on the inside. What she had done at the 1anders farm had $een terrifying, totally terrifying, and since then Andy had found himself wondering +ust how far her a$ility reached, how far it could reach. He had read a lot of the literature of (ara(sychology during their year on the dodge, enough to know that $oth (yrokinesis and telekinesis were sus(ected to $e tied in with certain (oorly understood ductless glands. His reading had also told him that the two talents were closely related, and that most documented cases centered around girls not a whole lot older than harlie was right now. She had $een a$le to initiate that destruction at the 1anders farm at the age of seven. !ow she was nearly eight. What might ha((en when she turned twelve and entered adolescence) 1ay$e nothing. 1ay$e a great deal. She said she wasn&t going to use the (ower anymore, $ut if she was forced to use it) What if it $egan to come out s(ontaneously) What if she $egan to light fires in her slee( as a (art of her own strange (u$erty, a fiery counter(art of the nocturnal seminal emissions most teenage $oys e-(erienced) What if the Sho( finally decided to call off its dogs... and harlie was kidna((ed $y some foreign (ower) @uestions, 5uestions. 3n his tri(s across the (ond, Andy tried to gra((le with them and came reluctantly to $elieve that harlie might have to su$mit to some sort of custody for the rest of her life, if only for her own (rotection. It might $e as necessary for her as the cruel leg $races were for the victims of muscular dystro(hy or the strange (rosthetics for the thalidomide $a$ies. And then there was the 5uestion of his own future. He remem$ered the num$ (laces, the $loodshot eye. !o man wants to $elieve that his own death*warrant has $een signed and dated, and Andy did not com(letely $elieve that, $ut he was aware that two or three more hard (ushes might kill him, and he reali=ed that his normal life e-(ectancy might already have $een considera$ly shortened. Some (rovision had to $e made for harlie in case that ha((ened. .ut not the Sho(&s way. !ot the small room. He would not allow that to ha((en. So he thought it over, and at last he came to a (ainful decision. K Andy wrote si- letters. They were almost identical. Two were to 3hio&s >nited States senators. 3ne was to the woman who re(resented the district of which Harrison was a (art in the >.S. House of 8e(resentatives. 3ne was to the !ew "ork Times. 3ne was to the hicago Tri$une. And one was to the Toledo .lade. All si- letters told the story of what had ha((ened, $eginning with the e-(eriment in Jason 2earneigh Hall and ending with his and harlie&s enforced isolation on Tashmore ,ond. When he had finished, he gave one of the letters to harlie to read. She went through it.slowly and carefully, taking almost an hour. It was the first time she had got the entire story, from $eginning to end. &"ou&re going to mail these)& she asked when she finished. &"es,& he said. &Tomorrow. I think tomorrow will $e the last time I dare go across the (ond.& It had at last $egun to warm u( a little. The ice was still solid, $ut it creaked constantly now, and he didn&t know how much longer it would $e safe. &What will ha((en, 'addy)& He shook his head. &I don&t know for sure. All I can do is ho(e that once the story is out, those (eo(le who have $een chasing us will have to give it u(.& harlie nodded so$erly. &"ou should have done it $efore.& &"es,& he said, knowing that she was thinking of the near cataclysm at the 1anders farm last 3cto$er. &1ay$e I should have. .ut I never had a chance to think much,
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harlie. 0ee(ing us going was all I had time to think a$out. And what thinking you do get a chance to do when you&re on the run . . . well, mostly it&s stu(id thinking. I ke(t ho(ing they&d give u( and leave us alone. That was a terri$le mistake.& &They won&t make me go away, will they)& harlie asked. &6rom you, I mean. We can stay together, can&t we, 'addy)& &"es,& he said, not wanting to tell her that his conce(tion of what might ha((en after the letters were mailed and received was (ro$a$ly as vague as hers. It was +ust &after.& &Then that&s all I care a$out. And I&m not going to make anymore fires.& &All right,& he said, and touched her hair. His throat was suddenly thick with a (remonitory dread, and something that had ha((ened near here suddenly occurred to him, something that he hadn&t thought of for years. He had $een out with his father and 2ranther, and 2ranther had given Andy his .??, which he called his varmint rifle, when Andy clamored for it. Andy had seen a s5uirrel and wanted to shoot it. His dad had started to (rotest, and 2ranther had hushed him with an odd little smile. Andy had aimed the way 2ranther taught him/ he s5uee=ed the trigger rather than +ust +erking $ack on it 9as 2ranther had also taught him:, and he shot the s5uirrel. It tum$led off its lim$ like a stuffed toy, and Andy ran e-citedly for it after handing the gun $ack to 2ranther. >( close, he had $een struck dum$ $y what he saw. >( close, the s5uirrel was no stuffed toy. It wasn&t dead. He had got it in the hind5uarters and it lay there dying in its own $right da((les of $lood, its $lack eyes awake and alive and full of a horri$le suffering. Its fleas, knowing the truth already, were trundling off the $ody in three $usy little lines. His throat had closed with a sna(, and at the age of nine, Andy tasted for the first time that $right, (ainty flavor of self*loathing. He stared num$ly at his messy kill, aware that leis father and grandfather were standing $ehind him, their shadows lying over him * three generations of 1c2ees standing over a murdered s5uirrel in the <ermont woods. And $ehind him, 2ranther said softly, Well, you done it, Andy. How do you like it) And the tears had come suddenly, overwhelming him, the hot tears of horror and reali=ation * the reali=ation that once it&s done, it&s done. He swore suddenly that he would never kill anything with a gun again. He swore it $efore 2od. I&m not going to make anymore fires, harlie had said, and in his mind Andy heard 2ranther&s re(ly to him on the day he had shot the s5uirrel, the day he had sworn to 2od he would never do anything like that again. !ever say that, Andy. 2od loves to make a man $reak a vow. It kee(s him (ro(erly hum$le a$out his (lace in the world and his.sense of self*control. A$out what Irv 1anders had said to harlie. harlie had found a com(lete set of .om$a the Jungle .oy $ooks in the attic and was working her way slowly $ut surely through them. !ow Andy looked at her, sitting in a dusty shaft of sunlight in the old $lack rocker, sitting +ust where his grandmother had always sat, usually with a $asket of mending $etween her feet, and he struggled with an urge to tell her to take it $ack, to take it $ack while she still could, to tell her that she didn&t understand. the terri$le tem(tation; if the gun was left there long enough, sooner or later you would (ick it u( again. 2od loves to make a man $reak a vow. A !o one saw Andy mail his letters e-ce(t harles ,ayson, the fellow who had moved into .radford in !ovem$er and had since $een trying to make a go of the old .radford !otions &n& !ovelties sho(. ,ayson was a small, sad*faced man who had tried to $uy Andy a drink on one of his visits to town. In the town itself, the e-(ectation was that if ,ayson didn&t make it work during the coming summer, !otions &n& !ovelties would have a 638 SAL4 38 L4AS4 sign $ack in the window $y Se(tem$er %I. He was a nice enough fellow, $ut he was having a hard scra$$le. .radford wasn&t the town it used to $e. Andy walked u( the street * he had left his skis stuck in the snow at the head of the road leading down to the .radford Town Landing * and a((roached the general store. Inside, the oldsters watched him with mild interest. There had $een a fair amount of talk a$out Andy that winter. The consensus a$out yonder man there was that he was on the run from something * a $ankru(tcy, may$e, or a divorce settlement. 1ay$e an angry wife who had $een cheated out of custody of the kid; the small clothes Andy had $ought hadn&t $een * lost on them. The consensus was also that he and the kid had may$e $roken into one of the cam(s across the ,ond and were s(ending the winter there. !o$ody $rought this (ossi$ility u( to .radford&s consta$le, a Johnny*come*lately who had lived in town for only twelve years and thought he owned the (lace. "onder man came from across the lake, from Tashmore, from <ermont. !one of the old*timers who sat around Jake 8owley&s stove in the .radford general store had much liking for <ermont ways, them with their income ta- and their snooty $ottle law and that fucking 8ussian laid u( in his house like a =ar, writing $ooks no one could understand. Let <ermonters handle their own (ro$lems, was the unanimous, if unstated, view. &He won&t $e crossin the (ond much longer,& one of them said. He took another $ite from his 1ilky Way $ar and $egan to gum it. &!ot less he&s got him a (air of water wings,& another answered, and they all chuckled. &We won&t $e seein him much longer,& Jake said com(lacently as Andy a((roached the store. Andy was wearing 2ranther&s old coat and a $lue wool $and (ulled over his ears, and some memory * (erha(s a family resem$lance going $ack to 2ranther himself * danced fleetingly in Jake&s mind and then $lew away. &When the ice starts to go out, he&ll +ust dry u( and $low away. Him and whoever he&s kee(in over there.& Andy sto((ed outside, unslung his (ack, and took out several letters. Then he came inside. The men forgathered there e-amined their nails, their watches, the old ,earl 0ineo stove itself. 3ne of them took out a gigantic $lue railroad $andanna and hawked mightily.into it. Andy glanced around. &1orning, gentlemen.& &1awnin to you,& Jake 8owley said. &2et you anything)&
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&"ou sell stam(s, don&t you)& &3h yes, 2ov&ment trust me that far.& &I&d like si- fifteens, (lease.& Jake (roduced them, tearing them carefully from one of the sheets in his old $lack (ostage $ook. &Something else for you today.& Andy thought, then smiled. It was the tenth of 1arch. Without answering Jake, he went to the card rack $eside the coffee grinder and (icked out a large, ornate $irthday card. T3 "3>, 'A>2HT48, 3! "3>8 S,4 IAL 'A", it said. He $rought it $ack and (aid for it. &Thanks,& Jake said, and rang it u(. &<ery welcome,& Andy re(lied, and went out. They watched him ad+ust his head$and, then stam( his letters one $y one. The $reath smoked out of his nostrils. They watched him go around the $uilding to where the (ost$o- stood, $ut none of them sitting around the stove could have testified in court as to whether or not he mailed those letters. He came $ack into view shouldering into his (ack. &3ff he goes,& one of the old*timers remarked. & ivil enough fella,& Jake said, and that closed the su$+ect. Talk turned to other matters. harles ,ayson stood in the doorway of his store, which hadn&t done three hundred dollars& worth of custom all winter long, and watched Andy go. ,ayson could have testified that the letters had $een mailed/ he had stood right here and watched him dro( them into the slot in a $unch. When Andy disa((eared from sight, ,ayson went $ack inside and through the doorway $ehind the counter where he sold (enny candy and .ang ca(s and $u$$le gum and into the living 5uarters $ehind. His tele(hone had a scram$ler device attached to it. ,ayson called <irginia for instructions. C There was and is no (ost office in .radford, !ew Ham(shire 9or in Tashmore, <ermont, for that matter:/ $oth towns were too small. The nearest (ost office to .radford was in Teller, !ew Ham(shire. At one*fifteen ,.m. on that 1arch %G, the small (ostal truck from Teller (ulled u( in front of the general store and the (ostman em(tied the mail from the standing $o- around to the side where Jake had (um(ed +enny gas until %CKG. The de(osited mail consisted of Andy&s si- letters and a (ostcard from 1iss Shirley 'evine, a fifty*year*old maiden lady, to her sister in Tam(a, 6lorida. Across the lake, Andy 1c2ee was taking a na( and harlie 1c2ee was $uilding a snowman. The (ostman, 8o$ert 4verett, (ut the mail in a $ag, swung the $ag into the $ack of his $lue and white truck, and then drove on to Williams, another small !ew Ham(shire town in Teller&s =i(*code area. Then he >*turned in the middle of what the Williams residents laughingly called 1ain Street and started $ack to Teller, where all the mail would $e sorted and sent on at a$out three o&clock that afternoon. 6ive miles outside of town, a $eige hevrolet a(rice was (arked across the road, $locking $oth of the narrow lanes..4verett (arked $y the snow$ank and got out of his truck to see if he could hel(. Two men a((roached him from the car. They showed him their credentials and e-(lained what they wanted. &!o7& 4verett said. He tried on a laugh and it came out sounding incredulous, as if someone had +ust told him they were going to o(en Tashmore .each for swimming this very afternoon. &If you dou$t we are who we say we are * & one of them $egan. This was 3rville Jamieson, sometimes known as 3J, sometimes known as The Juice. He didn&t mind dealing with this hick (ostman/ he didn&t mind anything as long as his orders didn&t take him any closer than three miles to that hellish little girl. &!o, it ain&t that/ it ain&t that at all,& 8o$ert 4verett said. He was scared, as scared as any man is when suddenly confronted with the force of the government, when gray enforcement $ureaucracy suddenly takes on a real face, like something grim and solid swimming u( out of a crystal $all. He was determined nonetheless. &.ut what I got here is the mail. The >.S. mail. "ou guys must understand that.& &This is a matter of national security,& 3J said. After the fiasco in Hastings 2len, a (rotective corden had $een thrown around the 1anders (lace. The grounds and the remains of the house had got the fine*tooth*com$ treatment. As a result, 3J had recovered The Windsucker, which now rested comforta$ly against the left side of his chest. &"ou say so, $ut that ain&t good enough,& 4verett said. 3J un$uttoned his arroll 8eed (arka so that 8o$ert 4verett could see The Windsucker. 4verett&s eyes widened, and 3J smiled a little. &&!ow, you don&t want me to (ull this, do you)& 4verett couldn&t $elieve this was ha((ening. He tried one last time. &'o you guys know the (enalty for ro$$ing the >.S. mail) They (ut you in Leavenworth, 0ansas, for that.& &"ou can clear it with your (ostmaster when you get $ack to Teller,& the other man said, s(eaking for the first time. &!ow let&s 5uit this fucking around, okay) 2ive us the $ag of out*of*town mail.& 4verett gave him the small sack of mail from .radford and Williams. They o(ened it right there on the road and sorted through it im(ersonally. 8o$ert 4verett felt anger and a kind of sick shame. What they were doing wasn&t right, not even if it was the secrets of the nuclear $om$ in there. 3(ening the >.S. mail $y the side of the road wasn&t right. Ludicrously, he found himself feeling a$out the same way he would have felt if a strange man had come $arging into his house and (ulled off his wife&s clothes. &"ou guys are going to hear a$out this,& he said in a choked, scared voice. &"ou&ll see.& &Here they are,& the other fellow said to 3J. He handed him si- letters, all addressed in the same careful hand. 8o$ert 4verett recogni=ed them well enough. They had come from the $o- at the .radford general store. 3J (ut the letters in his (ocket and the two of
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them walked $ack to their a(rice, leaving the o(ened $ag of mail on the road. &"ou guys are going to hear a$out this7& 4verett cried in a shaking voice. Without looking $ack, 3J said, &S(eak to your (ostmaster $efore you s(eak to anyone else. If you want to kee( your ,ostal Service (ension, that is.& They drove away. 4verett watched them go, raging, scared, sick to his stomach. At last he (icked u( the mail$ag and tossed it $ack into the truck. &8o$$ed,& he said, sur(rised to find he was near tears. &8o$$ed, I $een ro$$ed, oh.goddammit, I $een ro$$ed.& He drove $ack to Teller as fast as the slushy roads would allow. He s(oke to his (ostmaster, as the men had suggested. The Teller (ostmaster was .ill o$ham, and 4verett was in o$ham&s office for $etter than an hour. At times their voices came through the office door, loud and angry. o$ham was fifty*si-. He had $een with the ,ostal Service for thirty*five years, and he was $adly scared. At last he succeeded in communicating his fright to 8o$ert 4verett as well. And 4verett never said a word, not even to his wife, a$out the day he had $een ro$$ed on the Teller 8oad $etween .radford and Williams. .ut he never forgot it, and he never com(letely lost that sense of anger and shame . . . and disillusion. %G .y two*thirty harlie had finished her snowman, and Andy, a little rested from his na(, had got u(. 3rville Jamieson and his new (artner, 2eorge Sedaka, were on an air(lane. 6our hours later, As Andy and harlie were sitting down to a game of five hundred rummy, the su((er dishes washed and drying in the drainer, the letters were on a( Hollister&s desk.. a( and 8ain$ird % 3n 1arch ?B, harlie 1c2ee&s $irthday, a( Hollister sat $ehind his desk filled with a great and ill*defined unease. The reason for the unease was not ill*defined/ he e-(ected John 8ain$ird in not 5uite an hour, and that was too much like e-(ecting the devil to turn u( on the dime. So to s(eak. And at least the devil stuck to a $argain once it was struck, if you $elieved his (ress releases, $ut a( had always felt there was something in John 8ain$ird&s (ersonality that was fundamentally ungoverna$le. When all was said and done, he was nothing more than a hit man, and hit men always self*destruct sooner or later. a( felt that when 8ain$ird went, it would $e with a s(ectacular $ang. 4-actly how much did he know a$out the 1c2ee o(eration) !o more than he had to, surely, $ut . . . it nagged at him. !ot for the first time he wondered if after this 1c2ee affair was over it might not $e wise to arrange an accident for the $ig Indian. In the memora$le words of a(&s father, 8ain$ird was as cra=y as a man eating rat turds and calling it caviar. He sighed. 3utside, a cold rain flew against the windows, driven $y a strong wind. His study, so $right and (leasant in summer, was now filled with shifting gray shadows. They were not kind to him as he sat here with the 1c2ee file on its li$rary trolley at his left hand. The winter had aged him/ he was not the same +aunty man who had $iked u( to the front door on that day in 3cto$er when the 1c2ees had esca(ed again, leaving a firestorm $ehind. Lines on his face that had $een $arely noticea$le then had now dee(ened into fissures. He had $een forced into the humiliation of $ifocals * old man&s glasses, he thought them * and ad+usting to them had left him feeling nauseated for the first si- weeks he wore them. These were the small things, the outward sym$ols of the way things had gone so cra=ily, maddeningly wrong. These were the things he $itched a$out to himself $ecause all of his training and u($ringing had schooled him against $itching a$out the grave matters that lay so closely $elow the surface. As if that damned little girl were a (ersonal +in-, the only two women he had cared dee(ly a$out since the death of his mother had $oth died of cancer this winter * his wife, 2eorgia, three days after hristmas, and his (ersonal secretary, 8achel, only a little over a month ago. He had known 2eorgia was gravely ill, of course/ a mastectomy fourteen months $efore her death had slowed $ut not sto((ed the (rogress of the disease. 8achel&s death had $een a cruel sur(rise. !ear the end he could remem$er 9how unforgiva$le we sometimes seem in retros(ect: +oking that she needed fattening u(, and 8achel throwing the +okes right $ack at him. !ow all he had left was the Sho( * and he might not have that much longer. An insidious sort of cancer had invaded a( himself. What would you call it) ancer of the confidence) Something like that. And in the u((er echelons, that sort of disease was nearly always fatal. !i-on, Lance, Helms . . . all victims of cancer of the credi$ility. He o(ened the 1c2ee file and took out the latest additions * the si- letters Andy had mailed less than two weeks ago. He shuffled through them without reading them. They were all essentially the same letter and he had the contents almost $y heart. .elow them were glossy (hotogra(hs, some taken $y harles ,ayson, some taken $y other agents on.the Tashmore side of the ,ond. There were (hotos showing Andy walking u( .radford&s main street. ,hotos of Andy sho((ing in the general store and (aying for his (urchases. ,hotos of Andy and harlie standing $y the $oathouse at the cam(, Irv 1anders&s Willys a snow*covered hum( in the $ackground. A (hoto showing harlie sliding down a hard and s(arkling incline of snow*crust on a flattened card$oard $o-, her hair flying out from $eneath a knitted ca( that was too large for her. In this (hoto her father was standing $ehind her, mittened hands on hi(s, head thrown $ack, $ellowing laughter. a( had looked at this (hoto often and long and so$erly and was sometimes sur(rised $y a trem$ling in his hands when he (ut it aside. He wanted them that $adly. He got u( and went to the window for a moment. !o 8ich 1c0eon cutting grass today. The alders were $are and skeletal, the duck(ond $etween the two houses a slatelike, $are e-(anse. There were do=ens of im(ortant items on the Sho(&s (late this early s(ring, a verita$le smorgas$ord, $ut for a( there was really only one, and that was the matter of Andy 1c2ee and his daughter harlene.
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The 1anders fiasco had done a lot of damage. The Sho( had ridden that out, and so had he, $ut it had $egun a critical groundswell that would $reak soon enough. The critical centre of that groundswell was the way the 1c2ees had $een handled from the day <ictoria 1c2ee had $een killed and the daughter lifted * lifted however $riefly. A lot of the criticism had to do with the fact that a college instructor who had never even $een in the army had $een a$le to take his daughter away from two trained Sho( agents, leaving one of them mad and one in a coma that had lasted for si- months. The latter agent was never going to $e any good for anything again/ if anyone s(oke the word &slee(& within his earshot, he keeled over $onelessly and might stay out from four hours to an entire day. In a $i=arre sort of way it was funny. The other ma+or criticism had to do with the fact that the 1c2ees had managed to stay one ste( ahead for so long. It made the Sho( look $ad. It made them all look dum$. .ut most of the criticism was reserved for the incident at the 1anders farm itself, $ecause that had damned near $lown the entire agency out of the water. a( knew that the whis(ering had $egun. The whis(ering, the memos, may$e even the testimony at the ultrasecret congressional hearings. We don&t want him hanging on like Hoover. This u$an $usiness went entirely $y the $oards $ecause he couldn&t get his head out of that damned 1c2ee file. Wife died very recently, you know. 2reat shame. Hit him hard. Whole 1c2ee $usiness nothing $ut a catalogue of ine(titude. ,erha(s a younger man . . .ut none of them understood what they were u( against. They thought they did, $ut they didn&t. Again and again he had seen the re+ection of the sim(le fact that the little girl was a (yrokinetic * a firestarter. Literally do=ens of re(orts suggested that the fire at the 1anders farm had $een started $y a gasoline s(ill, $y the woman&s $reaking a kerosene lam(, $y s(ontaneous*fucking*com$ustion, and 2od only knew what other nonsense. Some of those re(orts came from (eo(le who had $een there. Standing at the window, a( found himself (erversely wishing that Wanless were here. Wanless had understood. He could have talked to Wanless a$out this . . . this dangerous $lindness. He went $ack to the desk. There was no sense kidding himself/ once the undermining (rocess $egan, there was no way to sto( it. It really was like a cancer. "ou could retard its growth $y calling in favors 9and a( had called in ten years& worth +ust to kee( himself in the saddle this last winter:/ you might even $e a$le to force it into remission. .ut.sooner or later, you were gone. He felt he had from now until July if he (layed the game $y the rules, from now until may$e !ovem$er if he decided to really dig in and get tough. That, however, might mean ri((ing the agency a(art at the seams, and he did not want to do that. He had no wish to destroy something he had invested half his life in. .ut he would if he had to; he was going to see this through to the end. The ma+or factor that had allowed him to stay in control was the s(eed with which they had located the 1c2ees again. a( was glad to take credit for that since it hel(ed to (ro( u( his (osition, $ut all it had really taken was com(uter time. They had $een living with this $usiness long enough to have time to (low the 1c2ee field $oth wide and dee(. 6iled away in the com(uter were facts on more than two hundred relatives and four hundred friends all the way around the 1c2ee Tomlinson family tree. These friendshi(s stretched all the way $ack to <icky&s $est friend in the first grade, a girl named 0athy Smith, who was now 1rs. 6rank Worthy, of a$ral, alifornia, and who had (ro$a$ly not s(ared a thought for <icky Tomlinson in twenty years or more. The com(uter was given the &last*seen& data and (rom(tly s(it out a list of (ro$a$ilities. Heading the list was the name of Andy&s deceased grandfather, who had owned a cam( on Tashmore ,ond in <ermont/ ownershi( had since (assed to Andy. The 1c2ees had vacationed there, and it was within reasona$le striking distance of the 1anders farm $y way of the $ack roads. The com(uter felt that if Andy and harlie were to make for any &known (lace,& it would $e this (lace. Less than a week after they had moved into 2ranther&s, a( knew they were there. A loose cordon of agents was set u( around the cam(. Arrangements had $een made for the (urchase of !otions &n& !ovelties in .radford on the (ro$a$ility that whatever sho((ing they needed to do would $e done in .radford. ,assive surveillance, nothing more. All the (hotogra(hs had $een taken with tele(hoto lenses under o(timum conditions for concealment. a( had no intention of risking another firestorm. They could have taken Andy 5uietly on any of his tri(s across the lake. They could have shot them $oth as easily as they had got the (icture of harlie sledding on the card$oard carton. .ut a( wanted the girl, and he had now come to $elieve that if they were going to have any real control over her, they would need her father as well. After locating them again, the most im(ortant o$+ective had $een to make sure they ke(t 5uiet. a( didn&t need a com(uter to tell him that as Andy grew more frightened, the chances that he would seek outside hel( went u( and u(. .efore the 1anders affair, a (ress leak could have $een handled or lived with. Afterward, (ress interference $ecame a different $allgame altogether. a( had nightmares +ust thinking a$out what would ha((en if the !ew "ork Times got hold of such a thing. 6or a $rief (eriod, during the confusion that had followed the firestorm, Andy could have got his letters out. .ut a((arently the 1c2ees had $een living with their own confusion. Their golden chance to mail the letters or make some (hone calls had (assed unused . . . and very well mightn&t have come to anything, anyway. The woods were full of crack(ots these days, and news(eo(le were as cynical as anyone else. Theirs had $ecome a glamour occu(ation. They were more interested in what 1argau- and .o and Su=anne and heryl were doing. It was safer. !ow the two of them were in a $o-. a( had had the entire winter to consider o(tions..4ven at his wife&s funeral he had $een running through his o(tions. 2radually he had
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settled u(on a (lan of action and now he was (re(ared to ti( that (lan into motion. ,ayson, their man in .radford, said that the ice was getting ready to go out on Tashmore ,ond. And 1c2ee had finally mailed his letters. Already he would $e getting im(atient for a res(onse * and (erha(s $eginning to sus(ect his letters had never arrived at their intended sources. They might $e getting ready to move, and a( liked them right where they were. .eneath the (hotos was a thick ty(ed re(ort $etter than three hundred (ages * $ound in a $lue T3, S4 84T cover. 4leven doctors and (sychologists had (ut the com$ination re(ort and (ros(ectus together under the overall direction of 'r. ,atrick Hockstetter, a clinical (sychologist and (sychothera(ist. He was, in a(&s o(inion, one of the ten or twelve most astute minds at the Sho(&s dis(osal. At the eight hundred thousand dollars it had cost the ta-(ayer to (ut the re(ort together, he ought to have $een. Thum$ing through the re(ort now, a( wondered what Wanless, that old doomsayer, would have made of it. His own intuition that they needed Andy alive was confirmed in here. The (ostulate Hockstetter&s crew had $ased their own chain of logic on was the idea that all the (owers they were interested in were e-ercised voluntarily, having their first cause in the willingness of the (ossessor to use them . . . and the key word was will. The girl&s (owers, of which (yrokinesis was only the cornerstone, had a way of getting out of control, of +um(ing nim$ly over the $arriers of her will, $ut this study, which incor(orated all the availa$le information, indicated that it was the girl herself who elected whether or not to set things in motion * as she had done at the 1anders farm when she reali=ed that the Sho( agents were trying to kill her father. He rifled through the reca( of the original Lot Si- e-(eriment. All the gra(hs and com(uter readouts $oiled down to the same thing; will as the first cause. >sing will as the $asis for everything. Hockstetter and his colleagues had gone through an ama=ing catalogue of drugs $efore deciding on Thora=ine for Andy and a new drug called 3rasin for the girl. Seventy (ages of go$$ledy*gook in the re(ort came down to the fact that the drugs would make them feel high, dreamy, floaty. !either of them would $e a$le to e-ercise enough will to choose $etween chocolate milk and white, let alone enough to start fires or convince (eo(le they were $lind, or whatever. They could kee( Andy 1c2ee drugged constantly. They had no real use for him/ $oth the re(ort and a(&s own intuition suggested that he was a dead end, a $urned*out case. It was the girl who interested them. 2ive me si- months, a( thought, and we&ll have enough. Just long enough to ma( the terrain inside that ama=ing little head. !o House or Senate su$committee would $e a$le to resist the (romise of chemically induced (si (owers and the enormous im(lications it would have on the arms race if that little girl was even half of what Wanless sus(ected. And there were other (ossi$ilities. They were not in the $lue*$acked re(ort, $ecause they were too e-(losive for even a T3, S4 84T heading. Hockstetter, who had $ecome (rogressively more e-cited as the (icture took sha(e $efore him and his committee of e-(erts, had mentioned one of these (ossi$ilities to a( only a week ago. &This J factor,& Hockstetter said. &Have you considered any of the ramifications if it turns out that the child isn&t a mule $ut a genuine mutation)& a( had, although he did not tell Hockstetter that. It raised the interesting 5uestion of eugenics . . . the (otentially e-(losive 5uestion of eugenics, with its lingering connotations of !a=ism and su(erraces.* all the things Americans had fought World War II to (ut an end to. .ut it was one thing to sink a (hiloso(hical well and (roduce a gusher of $ullshit a$out usur(ing the (ower of 2od and 5uite another to (roduce la$oratory evidence that the offs(ring of Lot Si- (arents might $e human torches, levitators, tele* or telem(aths, or 2od only knew what else. Ideals were chea( things to hold as long as there were no solid arguments for their overthrow. If there were, what then) Human $reeding farms) As cra=y as it sounded, a( could visuali=e it. It could $e the key to everything. World (eace, or world domination, and when you got rid of the trick mirrors of rhetoric and $om$ast, weren&t they really the same thing) It was a whole can of worms. The (ossi$ilities stretched a do=en years into the future. a( knew the $est he himself could realistically ho(e for was si- months, $ut it might $e enough to set (olicy * to survey the land on which the tracks would $e laid and the railroad would run. It would $e his legacy to the country and to the world. 1easured against this, the lives of a runaway college instructor and his ragamuffin daughter were less than dust in the wind. The girl could not $e tested and o$served with any degree of validity if she was constantly drugged, $ut her father would $e their hostage to fortune. And on the few occasions they wanted to run tests on him, the reverse would hold. It was a sim(le system of levers. And as Archimedes had o$served, a lever long enough would move the world. The intercom $u==ed. &John 8ain$ird is here,& the new girl said. Her usual $land rece(tionist&s tone was thread$are enough to show the fear $eneath. 3n that one I don&t $lame you, $a$e, a( thought. &Send him in, (lease.& ? Same old 8ain$ird. He came in slowly, dressed in a $rown and $alding leather +acket over a faded (laid shirt. 3ld and scuffed 'ingos (eeked out from $eneath the cuff&s of his faded straight*leg +eans. The to( of his huge head seemed almost to $rush the ceiling. The gored ruin of his em(ty eye*socket made a( shudder inwardly. & a(,& he said, and sat down. &I have $een in the desert too long.& &I&ve heard a$out your 6lagstaff house,& a( said. &And your shoe collection.& John 8ain$ird only stared at him un$linkingly with his good eye. &How come I never see you in anything $ut those old shitkickers)& a( asked.
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8ain$ird smiled thinly and said nothing. The old unease filled a( and he found himself wondering again how much 8ain$ird knew, and why it $othered him so much. &I have a +o$ for you,& he said. &2ood. Is it the one I want)& a( looked at him, sur(rised, considering, and then said, &I think it is.& &Then tell me, a(.& a( outlined the (lan that would $ring Andy and harlie 1c2ee to Longmont. It didn&t take long. & an you use the gun)& he asked when he was finished..&I can use any gun. And your (lan is a good one. It will succeed.& &How nice of you to give it your stam( of a((roval,& a( said. He tried for light irony and only succeeded in sounding (etulant. 2od damn the man anyway. &And I will fire the gun,& 8ain$ird said. &3n one condition.& a( stood u(, (lanted his hands on his desk, which was littered with com(onents from the 1c2ee file, and leaned toward 8ain$ird. &!o,& he said. &"ou don&t make conditions with me;& &I do this time,& 8ain$ird said. &.ut you will find it an easy one to fulfill, I think.& &!o,& a( re(eated. Suddenly his heart was hammering in his chest, although with fear or anger he was not sure. &"ou misunderstand. I am in charge of this agency and this facility. I am your su(erior. I $elieve you s(ent enough time in the army to understand the conce(t of a su(erior officer.& &"es,& 8ain$ird said, smiling, &I scragged one or two in my time. 3nce directly on Sho( orders. "our orders, a(.& &Is that a threat)& a( cried. Some (art of him was aware that he was overreacting, $ut he seemed una$le to hel( himself. &2od damn you, is that a threat) If it is, I think you&ve lost your senses com(letely7 If I decide I don&t want you to leave this $uilding, all I have to do is (ress a $utton7 There are thirty men who can fire that rifle * & &.ut none can fire it with such assurance as this one*eyed red nigger,& 8ain$ird said. His gentle tone had not changed. &"ou think you have them now, a(, $ut they are will*o&* the*wis(s. Whatever gods there are may not want you to have them. They may not want you to set them down in your rooms of deviltry and em(tiness. "ou have thought you had them $efore.& He (ointed to the file material hea(ed on the li$rary trolley and then to the $lue*$acked folder. &I&ve read the material. And I&ve read your 'r. Hockstetter&s re(ort.& &The devil you have7& a( e-claimed, $ut he could see the truth in 8ain$ird&s face. He had. Somehow he had. Who gave it to him) he raged. Who) &3h yes,& 8ain$ird said. &I have what I want, when I want it. ,eo(le give it to me. I think . . . it must $e my (retty face.& His smile widened and $ecame suddenly, horri$ly (redatory. His good eye rolled in its socket. &What are you saying to me)& a( asked. He wanted a glass of water. &Just that I have had a long time in Ari=ona to walk and smell the winds that $low . . . and for you, a(, it smells $itter, like the wind off an alkali flat. I had time to do a lot of reading and a lot of thinking. And what I think is that I may $e the only man in all the world who can surely $ring those two here. And it may $e that I am the only man in all the world who can do something with the little girl once she&s here. "our fat re(ort, your Thora=ine and your 3rasin * there may $e more here than drugs can co(e with. 1ore dangers than you can understand.& Hearing 8ain$ird was like hearing the ghost of Wanless, and a( was now in the gri( of such fear and such fury that he couldn&t s(eak. &I will do all this,& 8ain$ird said kindly. &I will $ring them here and you will do all your tests.& He was like a father giving a child (ermission to (lay with some new toy. &3n the condition that you give the girl to me for dis(osal when you are finished with her.& &"ou&re mad,& a( whis(ered. &How right you are,& 8ain$ird said, and laughed. &So are you. 1ad as a hatter. "ou sit here and make your (lans for controlling a force $eyond your com(rehension. A force.that $elongs only to the gods themselves . . . and to this one little girl.& &And what&s to sto( me from having you erased) 8ight here and now)& &1y word,& 8ain$ird said, &that if I disa((ear, such a shockwave of revulsion and indignation will run through this country within the month that Watergate will look like the filching of (enny candy in com(arison. 1y word that if I disa((ear, the Sho( will ceased to e-ist within si- weeks, and that within si- months you will stand $efore a +udge for sentencing on crimes serious enough to kee( you $ehind $ars for the rest of your life.& He smiled again, showing crooked tom$stone teeth. &'o not dou$t me, a(. 1y days in this reeking, (utrescent vineyard have $een long, and the vintage would $e a $itter one indeed.& a( tried to laugh. What came out was a choked snarl. &6or over ten years I have $een (utting my nuts and forage $y,& 8ain$ird said serenely, &like any animal that has known winter and remem$ers it. I have such a (ot(ourri, a( * (hotos, ta(es, Nero- co(ies of documents that would make the $lood of our good friend John @. ,u$lic run cold.& &!one of that is (ossi$le,& a( said, $ut he knew 8ain$ird was not $luffing, and he felt as if a cold, invisi$le hand were (ressing down on his chest. &3h, very (ossi$le,& 8ain$ird said. &6or the last three years I&ve $een in a state of information (assing*gear, $ecause for the last three years I&ve $een a$le to ta( into your com(uter whenever I liked. 3n a time*sharing $asis, of course, which makes it e-(ensive, $ut I have $een a$le to (ay. 1y wages have $een very fine, and with investment they have grown. I stand $efore you, a( * or sit, which is the truth, $ut less (oetic * as a trium(hant e-am(le of American free enter(rise in action.& &!o,& a( said. &"es,& 8ain$ird re(lied. &I am John 8ain$ird, $ut I am also the >.S. .ureau for
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2eological >nderstudies. heck, if you like. 1y com(uter code is AN3!. heck the time*sharing codes in your main terminal. Take the elevator. I&ll wait.& 8ain$ird crossed his legs and the cuff& of his right (antsleg (ulled u(, revealing a ri( and a $ulge in a seam of one of his $oots. He looked like a man who could wait out the age, if that were necessary. a(&s mind was whirling. &Access to the com(uter on a time*sharing $asis, (erha(s. That still doesn&t ta( you into * & &2o see 'r. !oft=ieger,& 8ain$ird said kindly. &Ask him how many ways there are to ta( into a com(uter once you have access on a time*sharing $asis. Two years ago, a $right twelve*year*old ta((ed into the >S com(uter. And $y the way, I know your access code, a(. It&s .83W this year. Last year it was 8AS,. I thought that was much more a((ro(riate.& a( sat and looked at 8ain$ird. His mind had divided, it seemed, had $ecome a three*ring circus. ,art of it was marveling that he had never heard John 8ain$ird say so much at one time. ,art of it was trying to gra((le with the idea that this maniac knew all of the Sho(&s $usiness. A third (art was remem$ering a hinese curse, a curse that sounded dece(tively (leasant until you sat down and really thought a$out it. 1ay you live in interesting times. 6or the last year and a half he had lived in e-tremely interesting times. He felt that +ust one more interesting thing would drive him totally insane. And then he thought of Wanless again * with dragging, dawning, horror. He felt almost as if . . . as if . . . he were turning into Wanless. .eset with demons on every side.$ut hel(less to fight them off or even to enlist hel(. &What do you want, 8ain$ird)& &I&ve told you already, a(. I want nothing $ut your word that my involvement with this girl harlene 1c2ee will not end with the rifle $ut $egin there. I want to& * 8ain$ird&s eye darkened and $ecame thoughtful, moody, intros(ective * &I want to know her intimately.& a( looked at him, horror*struck. 8ain$ird understood suddenly, and he shook his head at a( contem(tuously. &!ot that intimately. !ot in the $i$lical sense. .ut I&ll know her. She and I are going to $e friends, a(. If she is as (owerful as all things indicate, she and I are going to $e great friends.& a( made a sound of humor; not a laugh, e-actly/ more of a shrill giggle. The e-(ression of contem(t on 8ain$ird&s face did not change. &!o, of course you don&t think that is (ossi$le. "ou look at my face and you see a monster. "ou look at my hands and see them covered with the $lood you ordered me to s(ill. .ut I tell you, a(, it will ha((en. The girl has had no friend for going on two years. She has had her father and that is all. "ou see her as you see me, a(. It is your great failing. "ou look, you see a monster. 3nly in the girl&s case, you see a useful monster. ,erha(s this is $ecause you are a white man. White men see monsters everywhere. White men look at their own (ricks and see monsters.& 8ain$ird laughed again. a( had at last $egun to calm down and to think reasona$ly. &Why should I allow it, even if all you say is true) "our days are num$ered and we $oth know it. "ou&ve $een hunting your own death for twenty years. Anything else has $een incidental, only a ho$$y. "ou&ll find it soon enough. And then it ends for all of us. So why should I give you the (leasure of having what you want)& &,erha(s it&s as you say. ,erha(s I have $een hunting my own death * a more colorful (hrase than I would have e-(ected from you, a(. 1ay$e you should have the fear of 2od (ut into you more often.& &"ou&re not my idea of 2od,& a( said. 8ain$ird& grinned. &1ore like the hristian devil, sure. .ut I tell you this * if I had really $een hunting my own death, I $elieve I would have found it long $efore this. ,erha(s I&ve $een stalking it for (lay. .ut I have no desire to $ring you down, a(, or the Sho(, or >.S. domestic intelligence. I am no idealist. I only want this little girl. And you may find you need me. "ou may find that I am a$le to accom(lish things that all the drugs in 'r. Hockstetter&s ca$inet will not.& &And in return)& &When the affair of the 1c2ees ends, the >.S. .ureau for 2eological >nderstudies will cease to e-ist. "our com(uter chief, !oft=ieger, can change all his codings. And you, a(, will fly to Ari=ona with me on a (u$lic airline. We will en+oy a good dinner at my favourite 6lagstaff restaurant and then we will go $ack to my house, and $ehind it, in the desert, we will start a fire of our own and $ar$ecue a great many (a(ers and ta(es and films. I will even show you my shoe collection, if you like.& a( thought it over. 8ain$ird gave him time, sitting calmly. At last a( said, &Hockstetter and his colleagues suggest it may take two years to o(en the girl u( com(letely. It de(ends on how dee(ly her (rotective inhi$itions go.& &And you will $e gone in four to si- months.& a( shrugged..8ain$ird touched the side of his nose with one inde- finger and cocked his head * a grotes5ue fairytale gesture. &I think we can kee( you in the saddle much longer than that, a(. .etween the two of us, we know where hundreds of $odies are $uried * literally as well as figuratively. And I dou$t if it will take years. We&ll $oth get what we want, in the end. What do you say)& a( thought a$out it. He felt old and tired and at a com(lete loss. &I guess,& he said, &that you have made yourself a deal.& &6ine,& 8ain$ird said $riskly. &I will $e the girl&s orderly, I think. !o one at all in the esta$lished scheme of things. That will $e im(ortant to her. And of course she will never know I was the one who fired the rifle. That would $e dangerous knowledge, wouldn&t it) <ery dangerous.& &Why)& a( said finally. &Why have you gone to these insane lengths)& &'o they seem insane)& 8ain$ird asked lightly. He got u( and took one of the (ictures
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from a(&s desk. It was the (hoto of harlie sliding down the slo(e of crusted snow on her flattened card$oard $o-, laughing. &We all (ut our nuts and forage $y for winter in this $usiness, a(. Hoover did it. So did IA directors $eyond counting. So have you, or you would $e drawing a (ension right now. When I $egan, harlene 1c2ee wasn&t even $orn, and I was only covering my own ass.& &.ut why the girl)& 8ain$ird didn&t answer for a long time. He was looking at the (hotogra(h carefully, almost tenderly. He touched it. &She is very $eautiful,& he said. &And very young. "et inside her is your J factor. The (ower of the gods. She and I will $e close.& His eye grew dreamy. &"es, we will $e very close.&. In the .o% 3n 1arch ?K, Andy 1c2ee decided a$ru(tly that they could stay in Tashmore no longer. It had $een more than two weeks since he had mailed his letters, and if anything was going to come of them, it already would have. The very fact of the continuing silence around 2ranther&s cam( made him uneasy. He su((osed he could sim(ly have $een dismissed out of hand as a crack(ot in every case, $ut . . . he didn&t $elieve it. What he $elieved, what his dee(est intuition whis(ered, was that his letters had $een somehow diverted. And that would mean they knew where he and harlie were. &We&re going,& he told harlie. &Let&s get our stuff together.& She only looked at him with her careful eyes, a little scared, and said nothing. She didn&t ask him where they were going or what they were going to do, and that made him nervous, too. In one of the closets he had found two old suitcases, (lastered with an acient vacation decals * 2rand 8a(ids, !iagara 6alls, 1iami .each and the two of them $egan to sort what they would take and what they would leave. .linding $right sunlight streamed in through the windows on the east side of the cottage. Water dri((ed and gurgled in the downs(outs. The night $efore, he had got little slee(/ the ice had gone out and he had lain awake listening to it * the high, ethereal, and somehow uncanny sound of the old yellow ice s(litting and moving slowly down toward the neck of the (ond, where the 2reat Hancock 8iver s(illed eastward across !ew Ham(shire and all of 1aine, growing (rogressively more smelly and (olluted until it vomited, noisome and dead, into the Atlantic. The sound was like a (rolonged crystal note or (erha(s that of a $ow drawn endlessly across a high violin string * a constant, fluted ===iiiiiinnnggg that settled over the nerve endings and seemed to make them vi$rate in sym(athy. He had never $een here at ice*out $efore and was not sure he would ever want to $e again. There was something terri$le and otherworldly a$out that sound as it vi$rated $etween the silent evergreen walls of this low and eroded $owl of hills. He felt that they were very near again, like the $arely seen monster in a recurring nightmare. The day after harlie&s $irthday, he had $een on one of his tram(s, the cross*country skis $uckled uncomforta$ly onto his feet, and he had come across a line of snowshoe tracks leading u( to a tall s(ruce tree. There were indents in the crust like (eriods where the snowshoes had $een taken off and +ammed into the snow on their tails. There was a flurried confusion where the wearer had later refastened his snowshoes 9&slush$oats,& 2ranther had always called them, holding them in contem(t for some o$scure reason of his own:. At the $ase of the tree, Andy had found si- <antage cigarette $utts and a crum(led yellow (ackage that had once contained 0odak Tri*N film. 1ore uneasy than ever, he had taken off the skis and clim$ed u( into the tree. Halfway u( he had found himself on a direct line of sight with 2ranther&s cottage a mile away. It was small and a((arently em(ty. .ut with a tele(hoto lens . . . He hadn&t mentioned his find to harlie. The suitcases were (acked. Her continued silence forced him into nervous s(eech, as if $y not talking she was accusing him..&We&re going to hitch a ride into .erlin,& he said, &and then we&ll get a 2reyhound $ack to !ew "ork ity. We&re going to the offices of the !ew "ork Times * & &.ut, 'addy, you sent them a letter.& &Honey, they might not have gotten it.& She looked at him in silence for a moment and then said, &'o you think they took it)& &3f course n * & He shook his head and started again. & harlie, I +ust don&t know.& harlie didn&t re(ly. She knelt, closed one of the suitcases, and $egan fum$ling ineffectually with the clas(s. &Let me hel( you, hon.& &I can do it7& She screamed at him, and then $egan to cry. & harlie, don&t,& he said. &,lease, hon. It&s almost over.& &!o, it&s not,& she said, crying harder. &It&s never going to $e over.& ? There were an even do=en agents round 2ranther 1c2ee&s ca$in. They had taken u( their (ostions the night $efore. They all wore mottled white and green clothing. !one of them had $een at the 1anders farm, and none of them was armed e-ce(t for John 8ain$ird, who had the rifle, and 'on Jules, who carried a .?? (istol. &I am taking no chances of having someone (anic $ecause of what ha((ened $ack in !ew "ork,& 8ain$ird had told a(. &That Jamieson still looks as if his $alls are hanging around his knees. Similarly, he would not hear of the agents going armed. Things had a way of ha((ening, and he didn&t want to come out of the o(eration with two cor(ses. He had hand(icked all of the agents, and the one he had chosen to take Andy 1c2ee was 'on Jules. Jules was small, thirtyish, silent, morose. He was good at his +o$. 8ain$ird knew, $ecause Jules was the only man he had chosen to work with more than once. He was
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5uick and (ractical. He did not get in the way at critical moments. &1c2ee will $e out at some (oint during the day,& 8ain$ird had told him at the $riefing. &The girl usually comes out, $ut 1c2ee always does. If the man comes out alone, I&ll take him and Jules will get him out of sight 5uickly and 5uietly. If the girl should come out alone, same thing. If they come out together, I&ll take the girl and Jules will take 1c2ee. The rest of you are +ust s(ear carriers * do you understand that)& 8ain$ird&s eye glared over them. &"ou&re there in case something goes drastically wrong, and that is all. 3f course, if something does go drastically wrong, most of you will $e running for the lake with your (ants on fire. "ou&re along in case that one chance in a hundred turns u( where you can do something. 3f course, it&s understood that you&re also along as o$servers and witnesses in case I fuck u(.& This had earned a thin and nervous chuckle. 8ain$ird raised one finger. &If any one of you miscues and (uts their wind u( somehow, I&ll (ersonally see that you end u( in the lousiest +ungle valley of South America I can find * with a cored asshole. .elieve that, gentlemen. "ou are s(ear carriers in my show. 8emem$er it.& Later, at their &staging area& * an a$andoned motel in St. Johns$ury * 8ain$ird had taken 'on Jules aside..&"ou have read the file on this man,& 8ain$ird said. Jules was smoking a amel. &"eah.& &"ou understand the conce(t of mental domination)& &"eah.& &"ou understand what ha((ened to the two men in 3hio) The men that tried to take his daughter away)& &I worked with 2eorge Waring,& Jules said evenly. &That guy could $urn water making tea.& &In this man&s outfit, that it not so unusual. I only need us to $e clear. "ou&ll need to $e very 5uick.& &"eah, okay.& &He&s had a whole winter to rest, this guy. If he gets time to give you a shot, you&re a good candidate to s(end the ne-t three years of your life in a (added room, thinking you&re a $ird or a turni( or something.& &All right.& &All right what)& &I&ll $e 5uick. 2ive it a rest, John.& &There&s a good chance that they will come out together,& 8ain$ird said, ignoring him. &"ou&ll $e around the corner of the (orch, out of sight of the door where they&ll come out. "ou wait for me to take the girl. Her father will go to her. "ou&ll $e $ehind him. 2et him in the neck.& &Sure.& &'on&t screw this u(, 'on.& Jules smiled $riefly and smoked. &!o,& he said. H The suitcases were (acked. harlie had (ut on her coat and her snow(ants. Andy shrugged into his own +acket, =i((ed it, and (icked u( the suitcases. He didn&t feel good, not at all good. He had the +um(s. 3ne of his hunches. &"ou feel it, too, don&t you)& harlie asked. Her small face was (ale and e-(ressionless. Andy nodded reluctantly. &What do we do)& &We ho(e the feeling&s a little early,& he said, although in his heart he didn&t think it was so. &What else can we do)& &What else can we do)& she echoed. She came to him then and lifted her arms to $e (icked u(, something he could not remem$er her doing for a long time * may$e two years. It was ama=ing how time got $y, how 5uickly a child could change, change in front of your eyes with an uno$trusiveness that was nearly terri$le. He (ut the suitcases down and (icked her u( and hugged her. She kissed his cheek and then hugged him again, very tightly. &Are you ready)& he asked, setting her down. &I guess so,& harlie said. She was close to tears again. &'addy . . . I won&t make fires. !ot even if they come $efore we can get away.&.&"es,& he said. &That&s all right, harlie. I understand that.& &I love you, 'ad.& He nodded. &I love you too, kiddo.& Andy went to the door and o(ened it. 6or a moment the sunlight was so $right that he could see nothing at all. Then his (u(ils contracted and the day cleared $efore him, $right with melting snow. To his right was Tashmore ,ond, da==ling, +aggedly irregular (atches of $lue water showing $etween the floating chunks of ice. Straight ahead were (ine woods. Through them he could $arely see the green shingled roof of the ne-t cam(, free of snow at last. The woods were still, and Andy&s feeling of dis5uiet intensified. Where was the $irdsong that had greeted their mornings ever since the winter tem(eratures had $egun to moderate) There was none today . . . only the dri( of snow melting from the $ranches. He found himself wishing des(erately that 2ranther had (ut in a (hone out here. He had to restrain an urge to shout Who&s there) at the to( of his lungs. .ut that would only frighten harlie more. &Looks fine,& he said. &I think we&re still ahead of them . . . if they&re coming at all.& &That&s good,& she said colorlessly. &Let&s hit the road, kid,& Andy said, and thought for the hundredth time, What else is there to do) and thought again how much he hated them. harlie came across the room to him, (ast the drainer full of dishes they had washed
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that morning after $reakfast. The entire cottage was the way they had found it, s(ick*and*s(an. 2ranther would have $een (leased. Andy sli((ed an arm around harlie&s shoulders and gave her one more $rief hug. Then he (icked u( the suitcases and they ste((ed out into the early s(ring sunshine together. B John 8ain$ird was halfway u( a tall s(ruce one hundred and fifty yards away. He was wearing lineman&s s(ikes on his feet and a lineman&s $elt held him firmly against the trunk of the tree. When the ca$in door o(ened, he threw the rifle to his shoulder and seated it firmly. Total calm fell over him in a reassuring cloak. 4verything $ecame startlingly clear in front of his one good eye. When he lost his other eye, he had suffered a $lurring of his de(th of (erce(tion, $ut at moments of e-treme concentration, like this one, his old, clear seeing came $ack to him/ it was as if the ruined eye could regenerate itself for $rief (eriods. It was not a long shot, and he would not have wasted a moment&s worry if it had $een a $ullet he was (lanning to (ut through the girl&s neck * $ut he was dealing with something far more clumsy, something that +um(ed the risk element $y a factor of ten. 6i-ed inside the $arrel of this s(ecially modified rifle was a dart ti((ed with an am(ul of 3rasin, and at this distance there was always a chance it might tum$le or veer. Luckily, the day was almost without wind. If it is the will of the 2reat S(irit and of my ancestors, 8ain$ird (rayed silently, guide my hands and my eye that the shot may $e true. The girl came out with her father $y her side Jules was in it, then. Through the.telesco(ic sight the girl looked as $ig as a $arn door. The (arka was a $right $lue $la=e against the weathered $oards of the ca$in. 8ain$ird had a moment to note the suitcases in 1c2ee&s hands, to reali=e they were +ust in time after all. The girl&s hood was down, the ta$ of her =i((er (ulled u( only to her $reast$one, so that the coat s(read o(en slightly at the throat. The day was warm, and that was in his favor, too. He tightened down on the trigger and sighted the crosshairs on the $ase of her throat. If it is the will * He s5uee=ed the trigger. There was no e-(losion, only a hollow (hut7 and a small curl of smoke from the rifle&s $reech. I They were on the edge of the ste(s when harlie suddenly sto((ed and made a strangled swallowing noise. Andy dro((ed the suitcases immediately. He had heard nothing, $ut something was terri$ly wrong. Something a$out harlie had changed. & harlie) harlie)& He stared at her. She stood as still as a statue, incredi$ly $eautiful against the $right snowfield. Incredi$ly small. And suddenly he reali=ed what the change was. It was so fundamental, so awful, that he had not $een a$le to gras( it at first. What a((eared to $e a long needle was sticking out of harlie&s throat +ust $elow the Adam&s a((le. Her mittened hand gro(ed for it, found it, twisted it to a new and grotes5ue, u(ward*+utting angle. A thin trickle of $lood $egan to flow from the wound and down the side of her throat. A flower of $lood, small and delicate, stained the collar of her shirt and +ust touched the edging of fake fur that $ordered the =i((er of her (arka. & harlie7& he screamed. He lea(ed forward and gra$$ed her arm +ust as her eyes rolled u( and she (itched outward. He let her down to the (orch, crying her name over and over. The dart in her throat twinkled $rightly in the sun. Her $ody had the loose, $oneless feel of a dead thing. He held her, cradled her, and looked out at the sunshiny woods that seemed so em(ty * and where no $irds sang. &Who did it)& he screamed. &Who did it) ome out where % can see you7& 'on Jules ste((ed around the corner of the (orch. He was wearing Adidas tennis sneakers. He held the .?? in one hand. &Who shot my daughter)& Andy screamed. Something in his throat vi$rated (ainfully with the force of his scream. He held her to him, so terri$ly loose and $oneless inside her warm $lue (arka. His fingers went to the dart and (ulled it out, starting a fresh trickle of $lood. 2et her inside, he thought. 2ot to get her inside. Jules a((roached him and shot him in the $ack of the neck, much as the actor .ooth had once shot a ,resident. 6or a moment Andy +erked u(ward on his knees, holding harlie even more tightly against him. Then he colla(sed forward over her. Jules looked at him closely, then waved the men out of the woods. &!othing to it,& he said to himself as 8ain$ird came toward the ca$in, wading through the sticky, melting snow of late 1arch. &!othing to it. What was all the fuss a$out)&. The .lackout % The chain of events that ended in such destruction and loss of life $egan with a summer storm and the failure of two generators. The storm came on August %C, almost five months after Andy and harlie were taken at 2ranther&s cam( in <ermont. 6or ten days the weather had $een sticky and still. That August day, the thunderheads $egan to (ile u( shortly after noon, $ut no$ody who worked on the grounds of the two handsome ante$ellum homes which faced each other across the rolling e-(anse of green lawn and manicured flower$eds $elieved that the thunderheads were telling the truth * not the groundsmen astride their Lawn$oys, not the woman who was in charge of com(uter su$sections A*4 9as well as the com(uter*room coffee*maker:, who took one of the horses and cantered it lovingly along the well*ke(t $ridle (aths during her lunch hour, certainly not a(, who ate a hero sandwich in his air*conditioned office and went right on working on ne-t year&s $udget, o$livious of the
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heat and humidity outside. ,erha(s the only (erson in the Sho( com(ound at Longmont that day who thought it really would rain was the man who had $een named for the rain. The $ig Indian drove in at twelve*thirty, (refatory to clocking in at one. His $ones, and the shredded hollow where his left eye had $een, ached when rain was on the way. He was driving a very old and rusty Thunder$ird with a ' (arking sticker on the windshield. He was dressed in orderly&s whites. .efore he got out of the car, he (ut on an em$roidered eye(atch. He wore it when he was on the +o$, $ecause of the girl, $ut only then. It $othered him. It was only the (atch that made him think a$out the lost eye. There were four (arking lots inside the Sho( enclave. 8ain$ird&s (ersonal car, a new yellow adillac that ran on diesel fuel, $ore an A sticker. A was the <I, (arking lot, located $eneath the southernmost of the two (lantation houses; An underground tunnel*and* elevator system connected the <I, lot directly with the com(uter room, the situation rooms, the e-tensive Sho( li$rary and newsrooms, and, of course, the <isitors& @uarters * a nondescri(t name for the com(le- of la$oratories and near$y a(artments where harlie 1c2ee and her father were $eing ke(t. The . lot was for second*echelon em(loyees/ it was farther away. (arking lot was for secretaries, mechanics, electricians, and the like/ it was farther away still. ' lot was for unskilled em(loyees * s(ear carriers, in 8ain$ird&s own terms. It was almost half a mile from anything, and always filled with a sad and motley collection of 'etroit rolling iron only a ste( and a half away from the weekly demo der$y at Jackson ,lains, the near$y stock*car track. The $ureaucratic (ecking order, 8ain$ird thought, locking his wreck of a T*$ird and tilting his head u( to look at the thunderheads. The storm was coming. It would arrive around four o&clock, he reckoned. He $egan to walk toward the small @uonset $ut set tastefully $ack in a grove of sugar(ines where low*level em(loyees, lass <s and <Is, (unched in. His whites fla((ed around him. A gardener (utted $y him on one of the 2roundskee(ing 'e(artment&s do=en or so riding lawnmowers. A gaily colored sun (arasol floated a$ove the seat. The.gardener took no notice of 8ain$ird/ that was also (art of the $ureaucratic (ecking order. If you were a lass I<, a lass < $ecame invisi$le. !ot even 8ain$ird&s half*destroyed face caused much comment/ like every other government agency, the Sho( hired enough vets to look good. 1a- 6actor had little to teach the >.S. government a$out good cosmetics. And it went without saying that a vet with some visi$le disa$ility * a (rosthetic arm, a motori=ed wheelchair, a scram$led face * was worth any three vets who looked &normal.& 8ain$ird knew men who had had their minds and s(irits mauled as $adly as his own face had $een in the <ietnam traveling house (arty, men who would have $een ha((y to find a +o$ clerking in a ,iggly Wiggly. .ut they +ust didn&t look right. !ot that 8ain$ird had any sym(athy for them. In fact, he found the whole thing rather funny. !or was he recogni=ed $y any of the (eo(le he now worked with as a former Sho( agent and hatchet man/ he would have sworn to that. >ntil seventeen weeks ago, he had $een only a shadow sha(e $ehind his yellow adillac&s (olari=ed windshield, +ust someone else with an A clearance. &'on&t you think you&re going over$oard with this a $it)& a( had asked. &The girl has no connection with the gardeners or the steno (ool. "ou&re only onstage with her.& 8ain$ird shook his head. &All it would take is a single sli(. 3ne (erson to mention, +ust casually, that the friendly orderly with the messed*u( face (arks his car in the <I, lot and changes to his whites in the e-ecutive washroom. What I am trying to $uild here is a sense of trust, that trust to $e $ased on the idea that we&re $oth outsiders * $oth freaks, if you will * $uried in the $owels of the 02.&s American $ranch.& a( hadn&t liked that/ he didn&t like anyone taking chea( shots at the Sho(&s methods, (articularly in this case, where the methods were admittedly e-treme. &Well, you&re sure doing one hell of a +o$,& a( had answered. And to that there was no satisfactory answer, $ecause in fact, he wasn&t doing a hell of a +o$. The girl had not done so much as light a match in all the time she had $een here. And the same could $e said for her father, who had demonstrated not the slightest sign of any mental*domination a$ility, if the a$ility still e-isted within him. 1ore and more they were coming to dou$t that it did. The girl fascinated 8ain$ird. The first year he had $een with the Sho(, he had taken a series of courses not to $e found in any college curriculum wireta((ing, car theft, uno$trusive search, a do=en others. The only one that had engaged 8ain$ird&s attention fully was the course in safecracking, taught $y an aging $urglar named 2. 1. 8ammaden. 8ammaden had $een s(rung from an institution in Atlanta for the s(ecific (ur(ose of teaching this craft to new Sho( agents. He was su((osed to $e the $est in the $usiness, and 8ain$ird would not have dou$ted that, although he $elieved that $y now he was almost 8ammaden&s e5ual. 8ammaden, who had died three years ago 98ain$ird had sent flowers to his funeral * what a comedy life could sometimes $e7:, had taught him a$out Skidmore locks, a$out s5uare*door $o-es, a$out secondary locking devices that can (ermanently free=e a safe&s tum$lers if the com$ination dial is knocked off with a hammer and chisel/ he had taught them a$out $arrel $o-es, and niggerheads, and cutting keys/ the many uses of gra(hite/ how you could take a key im(ression with a .rillo (ad and how to make $athtu$ nitroglycerine and how to (eel a $o- from the $ack, one layer at a time. 8ain$ird had res(onded to 2. 1. 8ammaden with a cold and cynical enthusiasm..8ammaden had said once that safes were like women; given the tools and the time, any $o- could $e o(ened. There were, he said, tough cracks and easy cracks, $ut no im(ossi$le cracks. This girl was tough.
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At first they had had to feed harlie intravenously +ust to kee( her from starving herself to death. After a while she $egan to understand that not eating was gaining her nothing $ut a lot of $ruises on the insides of her el$ows, and she $egan to eat, not with any enthusiasm $ut sim(ly $ecause using her mouth was less (ainful. She read some of the $ooks that were given her * leafed through them, at any rate * and would sometimes turn on the color T< in her room only to turn it off& again a few minutes later. She had watched a local movie (resentation of .lack .eauty all the way through in June, and she had sat through The Wonderful World of 'isney once or twice. That was all. 3n her weekly re(orts the (hrase &s(oradic a(hasia& had $egun to cro( u( more and more often. 8ain$ird had looked the term u( in a medical dictionary and understood it at once * $ecause of his own e-(eriences as Indian and warrior, he understood it (erha(s $etter than the doctors themselves. Sometimes the girl ran out of words. She would sim(ly stand there, not a $it u(set, her mouth working soundlessly. And sometimes she would use a totally out*of*conte-t word, a((arently without reali=ing it at all. &I don&t like this dress, I&d rather have the hay one.&. Sometimes she would correct herself a$sently * I mean the green one& * $ut more often it would sim(ly (ass unnoticed. According to the dictionary, a(hasia was forgetfulness caused $y some cere$ral disorder. The doctors had immediately $egun monkeying with her medication. 3rasin was changed to <alium with no a((recia$le change for the $etter. <alium and 3rasin were tried together, $ut an unforseen interaction $etween the two had caused her to cry steadily and monotonously until the dose wore off; A $rand*new drug, a com$ination of tran5uili=er and light hallucinogenic, was tried and seemed to hel( for a while. Then she had $egun to stutter and $roke out in a light rash. urrently she was $ack on 3rasin, $ut she was $eing monitored closely in case the a(hasia got worse. 8eams had $een written a$out the girl&s delicate (sychological condition and a$out what the shrinks called her &$asic fire conflict,& a fancy way of saying that her father had told her not to and the Sho( (eo(le were telling her to go ahead . . . all of it com(licated $y her guilt over the incident at the 1anders farm. 8ain$ird $ought none of it. It wasn&t the drugs, it wasn&t $eing locked u( and watched constantly, it wasn&t $eing se(arated from her father. She was +ust tough, that was all. She had made u( her mind somewhere along the line that she wasn&t going to coo(erate, no matter what. The end. Toot finnee. The (sychiatrists could run around showing her ink$lots until the moon was $lue, the doctors could (lay with her medication and mutter in their $eards a$out the difficulty of successfully drugging an eight*year*old girl. The (a(ers could (ile u( and a( could rave on. And harlie 1c2ee would sim(ly go on toughing it out. 8ain$ird sensed it as surely as he sensed the coming of rain this afternoon. And he admired her for it. She had the whole $unch of them chasing their tails, and if it was left u( to them they would still $e chasing their tails when Thanksgiving and then hristmas rolled around. .ut they wouldn&t chase their tails forever, and this more than anything.worried John 8ain$ird. 8ammaden, the safecracker, had told an amusing story a$out two thieves who had $roken into a su(ermarket one 6riday night when they knew a snowstorm had ke(t the Wells 6argo truck from arriving and taking the heavy end*of*the*week recei(ts to the $ank. The safe was a $arrel $o-. They tried to drill out the com$ination dial with no success. They had tried to (eel it $ut had $een totally una$le to $end $ack a corner and get a start. 6inally they had $lown it. That was a total success. They $lew that $arrel wide o(en, so wide o(en in fact that all the money inside had $een totally destroyed. What was left had looked like the shredded money you sometimes see in those novelty (ens. . &The (oint is,& 8ammaden had said in his dry and whee=ing voice, &those two thieves didn&t $eat the safe. The whole game is $eating the safe. "ou don&t $eat the safe unless you can take away what was in it in usa$le condition, you get my (oint) They overloaded it with sou(. They killed the money. They were assholes and the safe $eat them.& 8ain$ird had got the (oint. There were $etter than si-ty college degrees in on this, $ut it still came down to safecracking. They had tried to drill the girl&s com$ination with their drugs/ they had enough shrinks to field a soft$all team, and these shrinks were all doing their $est to resolve the &$asic fire conflict&/ and all that (articular (ile of horsea((les $oiled down to was that they were trying to (eel her from the $ack. 8ain$ird entered the small @uonset hut, took his time card from the rack, and (unched in. T. .. !orton, the shift su(ervisor, looked u( from the (a(er$ack he was reading. &!o overtime for (unching in early, In+un.& &"eah)& 8ain$ird said. &"eah.& !orton stared at him challengingly, full of the grim, almost holy assurance that so often goes with (etty authority. 8ain$ird dro((ed his eyes and went over to look at the $ulletin $oard. The orderlies& $owling team had won last night. Someone wanted to sell &? good used washing machines.& An official notice (roclaimed that ALL W*I TH83>2H W*D W38048S 1>ST WASH HA!'S .46384 L4A<I!2 THIS 366I 4. &Looks like rain,& he said over his shoulder to !orton. &!ever ha((en, In+un,& !orton said. &Why don&t you $low) "ou&re stinking the (lace u(.& &Sure, $oss,& 8ain$ird said. &Just clockin in.& &Well ne-t time clock in when you&re s(o=ed to.& &Sure, $oss,& 8ain$ird said again, going out, s(aring one glance at the side of !orton&s (ink neck, the soft s(ot +ust $elow the +aw$one. Would you have time to scream, $oss) Would you have time to scream if I stuck my forefinger through your throat at that s(ot) Just like a skewer through a (iece of steak . . . $oss. He went $ack out into the muggy heat. The thunderheads were closer now, moving
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slowly, $owed down with their weight of rain. It was going to $e a hard storm. Thunder muttered, still distant. The house was close now. 8ain$ird would go around to the side entrance, what had once $een the (antry, and take elevator down four levels. Today he was su((osed to wash and wa- all the floors in the girl&s 5uarters/ it would give him a good shot. And it wasn&t that she was unwilling to talk with him/ it wasn&t that. It was +ust that she was always so damned distant. He was trying to (eel the $o- in his own way, and if he could get her to laugh, +ust once get her to laugh, to share a +oke with him at the Sho(&s.e-(ense, it would $e like (rying u( that one vital corner. It would give him a (lace to set his chisel. Just that one laugh. It would make them insiders together, it would make them a committee in secret session. Two against the house. .ut so far he hadn&t $een a$le to get that one laugh, and 8ain$ird admired her for that more than he could have said. ? 8ain$ird (ut his I' card in the (ro(er slot and then went down to the orderlies& station to gra$ a cu( of coffee $efore going on. He didn&t want coffee, $ut it was still early. He couldn&t afford to let his eagerness show/ it was $ad enough that !orton had noticed and commented on it. He (oured himself a slug of mud from the hot(late and sat down with it. At least none of the other nerds had arrived yet. He sat down on the cracked and s(rung gray sofa and drank his coffee. His $lasted face 9and harlie had shown nothing $ut the most (assing interest in that: was calm and im(assive. His thoughts ran on, analy=ing the situation as it now stood. The staff on this were like 8ammaden&s green safecrackers in the su(ermarket office. They were handling the girl with kid gloves now, $ut they weren&t doing it out of any love for the girl. Sooner or later they would decide that the kid gloves were getting them nowhere, and when they ran out of &soft& o(tions, they would decide to $low the safe. When they did, 8ain$ird was almost sure that they would &kill the money,& in 8ammaden&s (ungent (hrase. Already he had seen the (hrase &light shock treatments& in two of the doctors& re(orts * and one of the doctors had $een ,ynchot, who had Hockstetter&s ear. He had seen a contingency re(ort that had $een couched in such stultifying +argon that it was nearly another language. Translated, what it $oiled down to was a lot of strongarm stuff; if the kid sees her dad in enough (ain, she&ll $reak. What 8ain$ird thought the kid might do if she saw her dad hooked u( to a 'elco $attery and doing a fast (olka with his hair on end was to go calmly $ack to her room, $reak a waterglass, and eat the (ieces. .ut you couldn&t tell them that. The Sho(, like the 6.I and IA, had a long history of killing the money. If you can&t get what you want with foreign aid, go in there with some Thom(sons and gelignite and assassinate the $astard. ,ut some cyanide gas in astro&s cigars. It was cra=y, $ut you couldn&t tell them that. All they could see where 84S>LTS, glittering and $linking like some mythical <egas +ack(ot. So they killed the money and stood there with a $unch of useless green scra(s sifting through their fingers and wondered what the hell had ha((ened. !ow other orderlies $egan to drift in, +oking, smacking each other on the fat (art of the arm, talking a$out the strikes they made and the s(ares they converted the night $efore, talking a$out women, talking a$out cars, talking a$out getting shitfaced. The same old stuff that went on even unto the end of the world, hallelu+ah, amen. They steered clear of 8ain$ird. !one of them liked 8ain$ird. He didn&t $owl and he didn&t want to talk a$out his car and he looked like a refugee from a 6rankenstein movie. He made them nervous. If one of them had smacked him on the heavy (art of the arm, 8ain$ird would have (ut him in traction..He took out a sack of 8ed 1an, a Jig*Jag (a(er, and made a 5uick cigarette. He sat and smoked and waited for it to $e time to do down to the girl&s 5uarters. All things taken together, he felt $etter, more alive, than he had in years. He realised this and was grateful to the girl. In a way she would never know of, she had given him $ack his life for a while * the life of a man who feels things keenly and ho(es for things mightily/ which is to say, a man with vital concerns. It was good that she was tough. He would get to her eventually 9tough cracks and easy cracks, $ut no im(ossi$le cracks:/ he would make her do her dance for them, for whatever that was worth/ when the dance was done he would kill her and look into her eyes, ho(ing to catch that s(ark of understanding, that message, as she crossed over into whatever there was. In the meantime, he would live. He crushed his cigarette out and got u(, ready to go to work. H The thunderheads $uilt u( and u(. .y three o&clock, the skies over the Longmont com(le- were low and $lack. Thunder rolled more and more heavily, gaining assurance, making $elievers out of the (eo(le $elow. The grounds*kee(ers (ut away their mowers. The ta$les on the (atios of the two homes were taken in. In the sta$les, two hostlers tried to soothe nervous horses that shifted uneasily at each ominous thud from the skies. The storm came around three*thirty/ it came as suddenly as a gunslinger&s draw and with all*out fury. It started as rain, then 5uickly turned to hail. The wind $lew from west to east and then suddenly shifted around to e-actly the o((osite direction. Lightning flashed in great $lue*white strokes that left the air smelling like weak gasoline. The winds $egan to swirl counterclockwise, and on the evening weathercasts there was film of a small tornado that had +ust skirted Longmont enter and had torn the roof off a sho((ing*center 6otomat in (assing. The Sho( weathered most of the storm well. Two windows were driven in $y hail, and the windstorm (icked u( a low (icket fence surrounding a 5uaint little ga=e$o on the far side of the duck(ond and threw it si-ty yards, $ut that was the e-tent of the damage 9e-ce(t for flying $ranches and some ruined flower$eds * more work for the
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groundskee(ing force:. The guard dogs ran $etween the inner and outer fences cra=ily at the height of the storm, $ut they calmed down 5uickly as it $egan to slack off; The damage was done $y the electrical storm that came after the hail, rain, and wind. ,arts of eastern <irginia were without (ower until midnight as a result of lightning strikes on the 8owantree and .riska (ower stations. The area served $y the .riska station included Sho( head5uarters. In his office, a( Hollister looked u( in annoyance as the lights went off and the solid, uno$trusive hum of the air conditioner wound down to nothing. There were (erha(s five seconds of shadowy semi*darkness caused $y the (ower outage and the heavy stormclouds * long enough for a( to whis(er &2oddam7& under his $reath and wonder what the hell had ha((ened to their $acku( electrical system. He glanced out the window and saw lightning flickering almost continuously. That evening one of the guardhouse sentries would tell his wife that he had seen an electrical fire$all that looked as $ig as two serving (latters $ouncing from the weakly charged outer.fence to the more heavily charged inner fence and $ack again. a( reached for the (hone to find out a$out the (ower * and then the lights came on again. The air conditioner took u( its hum, and instead of reaching for the (hone, a( reached for his (encil. Then the lights went out again. &Shit7& a( said. He threw the (encil down and (icked u( the (hone after all, daring the lights to come on again $efore he had the chance to chew someone&s ass. The lights declined the dare. The two graceful homes facing each other across the rolling lawns * and all of the Sho( com(le- underneath * were served $y the 4astern <irginia ,ower Authority, $ut there were two $acku( systems (owered $y diesel generators. 3ne system served the &vital functions& * the electrical fence, the com(uter terminals 9a (ower failure can cost un$elieva$le amounts of money in terms of com(uter time:, and the small infirmary. A second system served the lesser functions of the com(le-*lights, air conditioning, elevators, and all of that. The secondary system was $uilt to &cross& * that is, to come in if the (rimary system showed signs of overloading * $ut the (rimary system would not cross if the secondary system $egan to overload. 3n August %C, $oth systems overloaded. The secondary system crossed when the (rimary system $egan to overload, +ust as the (ower*system architects had (lanned 9although in truth, they had never (lanned for the (rimary system to overload in the first (lace:, and as a result, the (rimary system o(erated for a full seventy seconds longer than the secondary system. Then the generators for $oth systems $lew, one after the other, like a series of firecrackers. 3nly these firecrackers had cost a$out eighty thousand dollars each. Later, a routine in5uiry had $rought $ack the smiling and $enign verdict of &mechanical failure,& although a more accurate conclusion would have $een &greed and venality.& When the $acku( generators had $een installed in %CK%, a senator (rivy to the acce(ta$le*low*$id figures on that little o(eration 9as well as si-teen million dollars& worth of other Sho( construction: had ti((ed his $rother*in*law, who was an electrical*engineering consultant. The consultant had decided he could 5uite handily come in under the lowest $id $y cutting a corner here and there. It was only one favor in an area that lives on favors and under*the*ta$le information, and it was nota$le only $ecause it was the first link in the chain that led to the final destruction and loss of life. The $acku( system had $een used only (iecemeal in all the years since it had $een constructed. In its first ma+or test, during the storm that knocked out the .riska (ower station, it failed com(letely. .y then, of course, the electrical*engineering consultant had gone onward and u(ward/ he was hel(ing to $uild a multimillion*dollar $each resort at oki .each, on St. Thomas. The Sho( didn&t get its (ower $ack until the .riska station come on line again . . . which is to say, at the same time the rest of eastern <irginia got its +uice $ack * around midnight. .y then, the ne-t links had already $een forged. As a result of the storm and the $lackout, something tremendous had ha((ened to $oth Andy and harlie 1c2ee, although neither of them had the slightest idea of what had ha((ened to the other. After five months of stasis, things had $egun to roll onward again.. B When the (ower went off, Andy 1c2ee was watching The ,TL lu$ on T<. The, ,TL stood for &,raise the Lord.& 3n one of the <irginia stations, The ,TL lu$ seemed to run continuously, twentyfour hours a day. This was (ro$a$ly not the case, $ut Andy&s (erce(tions of time had $ecome so screwed u( it was hard to tell. He had (ut on weight. Sometimes * more often when he was straight * he would catch a glim(se of himself in the mirror and think of 4lvis ,resley and the way the man had softly $allooned near the end of his life. At other times, he would think of the way a tomcat that had $een &fi-ed& would sometimes get fat and la=y. He wasn&t fat yet, $ut he was getting there. In Hastings 2len, he had weighed himself on the $athroom scale in the Slum$erland 1otel and had come in at one si-ty*two. These days he was ti((ing the scales at a$out one*ninety. His cheeks were fuller, and he had the suggestion of a dou$le chin and what his old high school gym teacher used to call 9with utter contem(t: &man*tits.& And more than a suggestion of a gut. There was not much e-ercise or much urge to e-ercise while in the gri( of a solid Thora=ine high * and the food was very good. He did not worry a$out his weight when he was high, and that was most of the time. When they were ready to make some more of their fruitless tests, they would iron him out over an eighteen hour (eriod, a doctor would test his (hysical reactions, an 442 would $e taken to make sure his $rain waves were nice and shar(, and then he would $e taken into a testing cu$icle, which was a small white room with drilled*cork (aneling.
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They had $egan, $ack in A(ril, with human volunteers. They told him what to do and told him that if he did anything over enthusiastic * like striking someone $lind, for instance * that he would $e made to suffer. An undertone to this threat was that he might not suffer alone. This threat struck Andy as an em(ty one/ he didn&t $elieve that they would really harm harlie. She was their (ri=e (u(il. He was very much the . feature on the (rogram. The doctor in charge of testing him was a man named Herman ,ynchot. He was in his late thirties and (erfectly ordinary e-ce(t for the fact that he grinned too much. Sometimes all that grinning made Andy nervous. 3ccasionally an older doctor named Hockstetter would dro( $y, $ut mostly it was ,ynchot. ,ynchot told him as they a((roached the first test that there was a ta$le in the small testing room. 3n this ta$le was a $ottle of gra(e 0ool*Aid, la$eled I!0, a fountain (en in a stand, a (ad of note (a(er, a (itcher of water, and two glasses. ,ynchot told him that the volunteer would have no idea that there was anything other than ink in the ink $ottle. ,ynchot further told Andy that they would $e grateful if he would &(ush& the volunteer into (ouring himself a glass of water, then dum(ing a goodish 5uantity of the &ink& into it, and then 5uaffing the whole mess. &!eat,& Andy said. He himself had not $een feeling so neat. He missed his Thora=ine and the (eace that it $rought. &<ery neat,& ,ynchot said. &Will you do it)& &Why should I)& &"ou&ll get something in return. Something nice.& &.e a good rat and you get the cheese,& Andy said. &8ight)& ,ynchot shrugged and grinned. His smock was screamingly neat/ it looked as if it.might have $een tailored $y .rooks .rothers. &All right,& Andy said. &I give u(. What&s my (ri=e for making this (oor sucker drink ink)& &Well, you can go $ack to taking your (ills, for one thing.& Suddenly it was a little hard to swallow, and he wondered if Thora=ine was addicting, and if it was, if the addiction was (sychological or (hysiological. &Tell me, ,ynchot,& he said. &How does it feel to $e a (usher) Is that in the Hi((ocratic oath)& ,ynchot shrugged and grinned. &"ou also get to go outdoors for a while,& he said. &I $elieve you&ve e-(ressed an interest in that)& Andy had. His 5uarters were nice * so nice you could sometimes almost forget they were nothing $ut a (added +ail cell. There were three rooms (lus a $ath/ there was a color T< e5ui((ed with Home .o- 3ffice, where a new choice of three recent films a((eared each week. 3ne of the munchkins (ossi$ly it had $een ,ynchot * must have (ointed out that there was no use taking away his $elt and giving him only rayolas to write with and (lastic s(oons to eat with. If he wanted to commit suicide, there was +ust no way they could sto( him. If he (ushed hard enough and long enough, he would sim(ly $low his $rain like an old tire. So the (lace had all the amenities, even e-tending to a microwave oven in the kitchenette. It was all done in decorator colors, there was a thick shag rug on the living*room floor, the (ictures were all good (rints. .ut for all of that, a dog turd covered with frosting is not a wedding cake/ it is sim(ly a frosted dog turd, and none of the doors leading out of this tasteful little a(artment had doorkno$s on the inside. There were small glass loo(holes scattered here and there around the a(artment * the sort of loo(holes you see in the doors of hotel rooms. There was even one in the $athroom, and Andy had calculated that they (rovided sightlines to +ust a$out any(lace in the a(artment. T< monitoring devices was Andy&s guess, and (ro$a$ly e5ui((ed with infrared as well, so you couldn&t even +erk off in relative (rivacy. He wasn&t claustro(ho$ic, $ut he didn&t like $eing closed u( for long (eriods of time. It made him nervous, even with the drugs. It was a low nervousness, usually evidenced $y long sighs and (eriods of a(athy. He had indeed asked to go out. He wanted to see the sun again, and green grass. &"es,& he said softly to ,ynchot. &I have e-(ressed an interest in going out.& .ut he didn&t get to go out. . . The volunteer was nervous at first, undou$tedly e-(ecting Andy to make him stand on his head and cluck like a chicken or something e5ually ridiculous. He was a foot$all fan. Andy got the man, whose name was 'ick Al$right, to $ring him u( to date on the (revious season * who had made it to the (layoffs and how they went, who had won the Su(er .owl. Al$right kindled. He s(ent the ne-t twenty minutes reliving the entire season, gradually losing his nervousness. He was u( to the lousy reffing that had allowed the ,ats to trium(h over the 'ol(hins in the A6 cham(ionshi( game when Andy said, &Have a glass of water, if you want. "ou must $e thirsty.& Al$right glanced u( at him. &"eah, I am kinda thirsty. Say . . . am I talkin too much) Is it screwin u( their tests, do you think)& &!o, I don&t think so,& Andy said. He watched 'ick Al$right (our himself a glass of water from the (itcher..&"ou want some)& Al$right asked. &!o, I&ll (ass,& Andy said, and suddenly gave a hard (ush. &Have some ink in it, why don&t you)& Al$right looked u( at him, then reached for the $ottle of &ink.& He (icked it u(, looked at it, and (ut it $ack down again. &,ut ink in it) "ou must $e cra=y.& ,ynchot grinned as much after the test as $efore it, $ut he was not (leased. !ot (leased at all. Andy was not (leased either. When he had (ushed out at Al$right there had $een none of that sidesli((ing sensation . . . that curious feeling of dou$ling that usually accom(anied the (ush. And no headache. He had concentrated all of his will toward suggesting to Al$right that (utting ink in his water would $e a (erfectly reasona$le thing
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to do, and Al$right had made a (erfectly reasona$le re(ly; that Andy was nuts. In s(ite of all the (ain it had caused him, he had felt a touch of (anic at the thought the talent night have deserted him. &Why do you want to kee( it under wra(s)& ,ynchot asked him. He lit a hesterfield and grinned. &I don&t understand you, Andy. What good does it do you)& &6or the tenth time,& Andy had re(lied, &I wasn&t holding $ack. I wasn&t faking. I (ushed him as hard as I could. !othing ha((ened, that&s all.& He wanted his (ill. He felt de(ressed and nervous. All the colors seemed too $right, the light too strong, voices too loud. It was $etter with the (ills. With the (ills, his useless outrage over what had ha((ened and his loneliness for harlie and his worry over what might $e ha((ening to her * these things faded $ack and $ecame managea$le. &I&m afraid I don&t $elieve that,& ,ynchot said, and grinned. &Think it over, Andy. We&re not asking you to make someone walk off& a cliff& or shoot himself in the head. I guess you didn&t want that walk as $adly as you thought you did.& He stood u( as if to go. &Listen,& Andy said, una$le to kee( the des(eration entirely out of his voice, &I&d like one of those (ills.& &Would you)& ,ynchot said. &Well, it might interest you to know that I&m lightening your dosage . . . +ust in case it&s the Thora=ine that&s interfering with your a$ility.& His grin $loomed anew. &3f course, if your a$ility suddenly came $ack . . .& &There are a cou(le of things you should know,& Andy told him. &6irst, the guy was nervous, e-(ecting something. Second, he wasn&t all that $right. It&s a lot harder to (ush old (eo(le and (eo(le with low or low*normal I@s. .right (eo(le go easier.& &Is that so)& ,ynchot said. &"es.& &Then why don&t you (ush me into giving you a (ill right now) 1y tested I@ is one*fifty* five.& Andy had tried * with no results at all. 4ventually he had got his walk outside, and eventually they had increased the dosage of his medication again as well * after they $ecame convinced that he really wasn&t faking, that he was, in fact, trying des(erately hard to use the (ush, with no success at all. @uite inde(endently of each other, $oth Andy and 'r. ,ynchot $egan to wonder if he hadn&t ti((ed himself over (ermanently in the run that had taken him and harlie from !ew "ork to Al$any ounty Air(ort to Hastings 2len, if he hadn&t sim(ly used the talent u(. And $oth of them wondered if it wasn&t some kind of (sychological $lock. Andy himself came to $elieve that either the talent was really gone or it was sim(ly a defense.mechanism; his mind refusing to use the talent $ecause it knew it might kill him to do so. He hadn&t forgotten the num$ (laces on his cheek and neck, and the $loodshot eye. 4ither way, it amounted to the same thing * a $ig goose*egg. ,ynchot, his dreams of covering himself with glory as the first man to get (rova$le, em(irical data on (sychic mental domination now flying away, came around less and less often. The tests had continued through 1ay and June first more volunteers and then totally unsus(ecting test su$+ects. >sing the latter was not (recisely ethical, as ,ynchot was the first to admit, $ut some of the first tests with LS' hadn&t $een (recisely ethical, either. Andy marveled that $y e5uating these two wrongs in his mind, ,ynchot seemed to come out the other side feeling that everything was okay. It didn&t matter, $ecause Andy had no success (ushing any of them. A month ago, +ust after the 6ourth of July, they had $egun testing him with animals. Andy (rotested that (ushing an animal was even more im(ossi$le than trying to (ush a stu(id (erson, $ut his (rotests cut =ero ice with ,ynchot and his team, who were really only going through the motions of a scientific investigation at this (oint. And so once a week Andy found himself sitting in a room with a dog or a cat or a monkey, feeling like a character from an a$surdist novel. He remem$ered the ca$ driver who had looked at a dollar $ill and had seen a five hundred. He remem$ered the timid e-ecutives he had managed to ti( gently in the direction of more confidence and assertiveness. .efore them, in ,ort ity, ,ennsylvania, there had $een the Weight*3ff (rogram, the classes attended mostly $y lonely fat housewifes with an addiction to Snackin& akes, ,e(si* ola, and anything $etween two slices of $read. These were things that filled u( the em(tiness of their lives a little. That had sim(ly $een a matter of (ushing a little $it, $ecause most of them had really wanted to lose weight. He had hel(ed them do that. He thought also of what had ha((ened to the two Sho( ramrods who had taken harlie. He had $een a$le to do it, $ut no more. It was hard even to remem$er e-actly what it had felt like. So &he sat in the room with dogs that la((ed his hand and cats that (urred and monkeys that moodily scratched their asses and sometimes showed their teeth in a(ocaly(tic, fang*filled grins that were o$scenely like ,ynchot&s grins, and of course none of the animals did anything unusual at all. And later on he would $e taken $ack to his a(artment with no doorkno$s on the doors and there would $e a $lue (ill in a white dish on the counter in the kitchenette and in a little while he would sto( feeling nervous and de(ressed. He would start feeling (retty much okay again. And he would watch one of the Home .o- 3ffice movies * something with lint 4astwood, if he could get it * or (erha(s The ,TL lu$. It didn&t $other him so much that he had lost his talent and $ecome a su(erfluous (erson. I 3n the afternoon of the $ig storm, he sat watching The ,TL lu$. A woman with a $eehive hairdo was telling the host how the (ower of 2od had cured her of .right&s disease. Andy was 5uite fascinated with her. Her hair gleamed under the studio lighting like a varnished ta$le*leg. She looked like a time traveler from the year %CDH. That was one of the fascinations The ,TL lu$ held for him, along with the shameless carny
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(itches for money in the name of 2od. Andy would listen to these (itches delivered $y.hard*faced young men in e-(ensive suits and think, $emused, of how hrist had driven the money*changers from the tem(le. And all the (eo(le on ,TL looked like time travelers from %CDH. The woman finished her story of how 2od had saved her from shaking herself to (ieces. 4arlier in the (rogram an actor who had $een famous in the early %CIGs had told how 2od had saved him from the $ottle. !ow the woman with the $eehive hairdo $egan to cry and the once*famous actor em$raced her. The camera dollied in for a close*u(. In the $ackground, the ,TL Singers $egan to hum. Andy shifted in his seat a little. It was almost time for his (ill. In a dim sort of way he reali=ed that the medication was only (artially res(onsi$le for the (eculiar changes that had come over him in the last five months, changes of which his soft weight gain was only an outward sign. When the Sho( had taken harlie away from him, they had knocked the one solid remaining (ro( out from under his life. With harlie gone * oh, she was undou$tedly somewhere near, $ut she might as well have $een on the moon * there seemed to $e no reason for holding himself together. 3n to( of that, all the running had induced a nervous kind of shellshock. He had lived on the tightro(e for so long that when he had finally fallen off, total lethargy had $een the result. In fact, he $elieved he had suffered a very 5uiet sort of nervous $reakdown. If he did see harlie, he wasn&t even sure she would recogni=e him as the same (erson, and that made him sad. He had never made any effort to deceive ,ynchot or cheat on the tests. He did not really think that doing so would re$ound on harlie, $ut he would not have taken even the most remote chance of that ha((ening. And it was easier to do what they wanted. He had $ecome (assive. He had screamed the last of his rage on 2ranther&s (orch, as he cradled his daughter with the dart sticking out of her neck. There was no more rage left in him. He had shot his wad. That was Andy 1c2ee&s mental state as he sat watching T< that August %C while the storm walked the hills outside. The ,TL host made a donations (itch and then introduced a gos(el trio. The trio $egan to sing, and suddenly the lights went out. The T< also went, the (icture dwindling down to a $right s(eck. Andy sat in his chair, unmoving, not sure +ust what had ha((ened. His mind had +ust enough time to register the scary totality of the dark, and then the lights went on again. The gos(el trio rea((eard, singing &I 2ot a Tele(hone all from Heaven and Jesus Was on the Line.& Andy heaved a sigh of relief, and then the lights went out again. He sat there, gri((ing the arms of the chair as if he would fly away if he let go. He ke(t his eyes des(erately fi-ed on the $right s(eck of light from the T< even after he knew it was gone and he was only seeing a lingering after*image . . . or wishful thinking. It&ll $e $ack on in a second or two, he told himself. Secondary generators somewhere. "ou don&t trust to house current to run a (lace like this. Still, he was scared. He suddenly found himself recalling the $oys& * adventure stories of his childhood. In more than one of them, there had $een an incident in some cave with the lights or candles $lown out. And it seemed that the author would always go to great lengths to descri$e the dark as &(al(a$le& or &utter& or &total.& There was even that tried*and*true old stand$y &the living dark,& as in &The living dark engulfed Tom and his friends.& If all of this had $een meant to im(ress the nine year*old Andy 1c2ee, it hadn&t done. As far as he was concerned, if he wanted to $e &engulfed $y the living dark,& all he had to do.was go into his closet and (ut a $lanket along the crack at the $ottom of the door. 'ark was, after all, dark. !ow he reali=ed that he had $een wrong a$out that/ it wasn&t the only thing he&d $een wrong a$out as a kid, $ut it was may$e the last one to $e discovered. He would +ust as soon have forgone the discovery, $ecause dark wasn&t dark. He had never $een in a dark like this one in his life. 4-ce(t for the sensation of the chair $eneath his $utt and under his hands, he could have $een floating in some lightless Lovecraftian gulf $etween the stars. He raised one hand and floated it in front of his eyes. Arid although he could feel the (alm lightly touching his nose, he couldn&t see it. He took the hand away from his face and gri((ed the arm of the chair with it again. His heart had taken on a ra(id and thready $eat in his chest. 3utside, someone called out hoarsely, &8ichie7 Where the fuck are ya)& and Andy cringed $ack in his chair as if he had $een threatened. He licked his li(s. It&ll $e $ack on in +ust a second or two now, he thought, $ut a scared (art of his mind that refused to $e comforted $y mere rationalities asked; How long is a second or two, or a minute or two, in total darkness) How do you measure time in total darkness) 3utside, $eyond his &a(artment,& something fell over and someone screamed in (ain and sur(rise. Andy cringed $ack again and moaned shakily. He didn&t like this. This was no good. Well, if it takes them longer than a few minutes to fi- it * to reset the $reakers or whatever * they&ll come and let me out. They&ll have to. 4ven the scared (art of his mind * the (art that was only a short distance away from gi$$ering * recogni=ed the logic of this, and he rela-ed a little. After all, it was +ust the dark/ that&s all it was * +ust the a$sence of light. It wasn&t as if there were monsters in the dark, or anything like that. He was very thirsty. He wondered if he dared get u( and go get a $ottle of ginger ale out of the fridge. He decided he could do it if he was careful. He got u(, took two shuffling ste(s forward, and (rom(tly $arked his shin on the edge of the coffee ta$le. He $ent and ru$$ed it, eyes watering with (ain. This was like childhood, too. They had (layed a game called &$lind man&/ he su((osed all kids did. "ou had to try to get from one end of the house to the other with a $andanna or something over your eyes. And everyone else thought it was sim(ly the height of
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humor when you fell over a hassock or tri((ed over the riser $etween the dining room and the kitchen. The game could teach you a (ainful lesson a$out how little you actually remem$ered a$out the layout of your su((osedly familiar house and how much more you relied u(on your eyes than your memory. And the game could make you wonder how the hell you&d live if you went $lind. .ut I&ll $e all right, Andy thought. I&ll $e all right if I +ust take it slow and easy. He moved around the coffee ta$le and then $egan to shuffle his way slowly across the o(en s(ace of the living room with his hands out in front of him. It was funny how threatening o(en s(ace could feel in the dark. ,ro$a$ly the lights&ll come on right now and I can have a good laugh at myself. Just have a good l * &3w7& His outstretched fingers struck the wall and $ent $ack (ainfully. Something fellthe (icture of the $arn and hayfield after the style of Wyeth that hung near the kitchen door, he guessed. It swished $y him, sounding ominously like a whickering sword $lade in the.dark, and clattered to the floor. The sound was shockingly loud. He stood still, holding his aching fingers, feeling the thro$ of his $arked shin. He was cottonmouthed with fear. &Hey7& he shouted. &Hey, don&t forget a$out me, you guys7& He waited and listened. There was no answer. There were still sounds and voices, $ut they were farther away now. If they got much farther away, he would $e in total silence. 6orgotten all a$out me, he thought, and his fright dee(ened. His heart was racing. He could feel cold sweat on his arms and $row, and he found himself remem$ering the time at Tashmore ,ond when he had gone out too dee(, got tired and $egun to thrash and scream, sure he was going to die . . . $ut when he (ut his feet down the $ottom was there, the water only ni((le high. Where was the $ottom now) He licked at his dry li(s, $ut his tongue was dry, too. &H4".& he shouted at the to( of his lungs, and the sound of terror in his voice terrified him even more. He had to get hold of himself. He was within arm&s length of total (anic now, +ust $ulling around mindlessly in here and screaming at the to( of his lungs. All $ecause someone had $lown a fuse. 3h goddammit all anyway, why&d it have to ha((en when it was time for my (ill) If I had my (ill I&d $e all right. I&d $e okay then. hrist it feels like my head&s full of $roken glass * He stood there, $reathing heavily. He had aimed for the kitchen door, had gone off course and run into the wall. !ow he felt totally disoriented and couldn&t even remem$er if that stu(id $arn (icture had $een hung to the right or left of the doorway. He wished misera$ly that he had stayed in his chair. &2et hold,& he muttered aloud. &2et hold.& It was not +ust (anic, he recogni=ed that. It was the (ill that was now overdue, the (ill on which he had come to de(end. It +ust wasn&t fair that this had ha((ened when his (ill was due. &2et hold,& he muttered again. 2inger ale. He had got u( to get ginger ale and he was going to $y*2od get it. He had to fi- on something. That&s all it came down to, and ginger ale would do as well as anything else. He $egan to move again, toward the left, and (rom(tly fell over the (icture that had come off the wall. Andy screamed and went down, (inwheeling his arms wildly and fruitlessly for $alance. He struck his head hard and screamed again. !ow he was very frightened. Hel( me, he thought. Some$ody hel( me, $ring me a candle, for hrist&s sake, something, I&m scared * He $egan to cry. His fum$ling fingers felt thick wetness on the side of his head*$lood * and he wondered with num$ terror how $ad it was. &Where are you (eo(le)& he screamed. There was no answer. He heard * or thought he heard * a single faraway shout, and then there was silence. His fingers found the (icture he had tri((ed over and he threw it across the room, furious at it for hurting him. It struck the end ta$le $eside the couch, and the now*useless lam( that stood there fell over. The light$ul$ e-(loded with a hollow sound, and Andy cried out again. He felt the side of his head. 1ore $lood there now. It was crawling over his cheek in little rivulets..,anting, he $egan to crawl, one hand out to feel the wall. When its solidity a$ru(tly ended in $lankness, he drew in $oth his $reath and his hand, as if he e-(ected something nasty to snake out of the $lackness and gra$ him. A little whhh7 sound sucked in (ast his li(s. 6or +ust one second the totality of childhood came $ack and he could hear the whis(er of trolls as they crowded eagerly toward him. &Just the kitchen door, for fuck&s sake,& he muttered raggedly. &That&s all.& He crawled through it. The fridge was to the right and he $egan to $ear that way, crawling slowly and $reathing fast, his hands cold on the tile. Somewhere overhead, on the ne-t level, something fell over with a tremendous clang. Andy +erked u( on his knees. His nerve $roke and he lost himself. He $egan to scream. &Hel(7 Hel(7 Hel(7& over and over until he was hoarse. He had no idea how long he might have screamed there, on his hands and knees in the $lack kitchen. At last he sto((ed and tried to get hold of himself. His hands and arms were shaking hel(lessly. His head ached from the thum( he had given it, $ut the flow of $lood seemed to have sto((ed. That was a little reassuring. His throat felt hot and flayed from all his screaming, and that made him think of the ginger ale again. He $egan to crawl once more, and he found the refrigerator with no further incident. He o(ened it 9ridiculously e-(ecting the interior light to come on with its familiar frosty*white glow: and fum$led around in the cool dark $o- until he found a can with a ringta$
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on to(. Andy shut the fridge door and leaned against it. He o(ened the can and swilled half the ginger ale at a draft. His throat $lessed him for it. Then a thought came and his throat fro=e. The (lace is on fire, his mind told him with s(urious calmness. That&s why no one&s come to get you out. They&re evacuating. "ou, now . . . you&re e-(enda$le. This thought $rought on an e-tremity of claustro(ho$ic terror that was $eyond (anic. He sim(ly cringed $ack against the refrigerator, his li(s (ulled $ack from his teeth in a grimace. The strength went out of his legs. 6or a moment, he even imagined he could smell smoke, and heat seemed to rush over him. The soda can sli((ed from his fingers and gurgled its contents out onto the floor, wetting his (ants. Andy sat in the wetness, moaning. D John 8ain$ird thought later that things could not have worked $etter if they had (lanned it . . . and if those fancy (sychologists had $een worth a tin whistle in a high wind, they would have (lanned it. .ut as it ha((ened, it was only the lucky ha((en stance of the $lackout&s occurring when it did that allowed him to finally get his chisel under one corner of the (sychological steel that armored harlie 1c2ee. Luck and his own ins(ired intuition. He let himself into harlie&s 5uarters at three thirty, +ust as the storm was $eginning to $reak outside. He (ushed a cart $efore him that was no different from the ones most hotel and motel maids (ush as they go from room to room. It contained clean sheets and (illow sli(s, furniture (olish, a rug*sham(oo (re(aration for s(ot stains. There was a floor $ucket and a mo(. A vacuum cleaner was cli((ed to one end of the cart. harlie was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, wearing a $right $lue 'anskin.leotard and nothing else. Her long legs were crossed in a lotuslike (osition. She sat that way a great deal. An outsider might have thought she was stoned, $ut 8ain$ird knew $etter. She was still $eing lightly medicated, $ut now the dosage was little more than a (lace$o. All of the (sychologists were in disa((ointed agreement that she meant what she said a$out never lighting fires again. The drugs had originally $een meant to kee( her from $urning her way out, $ut now it seemed sure that she wasn&t going to do that . . . or anything else. &Hi, kid,& 8ain$ird said. He uncli((ed the vacuum cleaner. She glanced over at him $ut didn&t res(ond. He (lugged the vacuum in, and when he started it, she got u( gracefully and went into the $athroom. She shut the door. 8ain$ird went on vacuuming the rug. He had no (lan in mind. It was a case of looking for small signs and signals, (icking u( on them, and following them. His admiration for the girl was unalloyed. Her father was turning into a fat, a(athetic (udding, the (sychologists had their own terms for it &de(endency shock,& and &loss of identity,& and &mental fugue,& and &mild reality dysfunction& $ut what it all came down to was he had given u( and could now $e canceled out of the e5uation. The girl hadn&t done that. She had sim(ly hidden herself. And 8ain$ird never felt so much like an Indian as he did when he was with harlie 1c2ee. He vacuumed and waited for her to come out may$e. He thought she was coming out of the $athroom a little more fre5uently now. At first she had always hidden there until he was gone. !ow sometimes she came out and watched him. ,erha(s she would today. ,erha(s not. He would wait. And watch for signs. K harlie sat in the $athroom with the door shut. She would have locked it if she could. .efore the orderly came to clean the (lace, she had $een doing some sim(le e-ercises she had found in a $ook. The orderly came to kee( it orderly. !ow the toilet seat felt cold under her. The white light from the fluorescents that ringed the $athroom mirror made everything seem cold, and too $right. At first there had $een a live*in &com(anion,& a woman of a$out forty*five. She was su((osed to $e &motherly,& $ut the &motherly com(anion& had hard green eyes with small flecks in them. The flecks were like ice. These were the (eo(le who had killed her real mother/ now they wanted her to live here with the &motherly com(anion.& harlie told them she didn&t want the &motherly com(anion.& They smiled. Then harlie sto((ed talking, and she didn&t say another word until the &motherly com(anion& left, taking her green ice*chi( eyes with her. She had made a deal with that man Hockstetter; she would, answer his 5uestions, and his alone, if he would get that &motherly com(anion& out. The only com(anion she wanted was her father, and if she couldn&t have him, she would $e alone. In many ways she felt that the last five months 9they told her it was five months/ it didn&t feel like anything: had $een a dream. There was no way to mark time, faces came and went with no memories attached to them, disem$odied as $alloons, and food had no (articular taste. She felt like a $alloon herself sometimes. She felt as if she were floating. .ut in a way, her mind told her with (erfect certitude, it was fair. She was a murderer..She had $roken the worst of the Ten ommandments and was surely damned to hell. She thought a$out this at night, with the lights turned down low so that the a(artment itself seemed like a dream. She saw it all. The men on the (orch wearing their crowns of flame. The cars e-(loding. The chickens catching fire. The smell of $urning that was always the smell of smoldering stuffing, the smell of her teddy $ear. 9and she had liked it: That was it/ that was the trou$le. The more she had done it the more she had liked it/ the more she had done it the more she had $een a$le to feel the (ower, a living thing, getting stronger and stronger. It was like a (yramid standing u(side down, standing on its ti(, and the more you did it the harder it got to sto( it. It hurt to sto( it. 9and it was fun: and so she was never going to do it again. She would die in here $efore she did it
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again. 1ay$e she even wanted to die in here. The idea of dying in a dream wasn&t scary at all. The only two faces that weren&t totally dissociated were Hockstetter&s and that of the orderly who came to clean her a(artment every day. harlie had asked him once why he had to come every day, since she wasn&t messy. John * that was his name * had taken a scrungy old (ad from his $ack (ocket and a chea( $all(oint (en from his $reast (ocket. He said &That&s +ust my +o$, kid.& And on the (a(er he wrote .ecause they&re full of shit, why else) She had almost giggled $ut had sto((ed herself in time $y thinking of men with crowns of fire, men who smelled like smoldering teddy $ears. 2iggling would have $een dangerous. So she sim(ly (retended that she hadn&t seen the note or didn&t understand it. The orderly&s face was a mess. He wore an eye(atch. She felt sorry for him and once she had almost asked him what ha((ened * if he had $een in a car accident or something * $ut that would have $een even more dangerous than giggling at his note. She didn&t know why, $ut she felt that in every fi$er. His face was very horri$le to look at, $ut he seemed (leasant enough, and his face was no worse than the face of little huckie 4$erhardt $ack in Harrison. huckie&s mother had $een frying (otatoes when huckie was three and huckie had (ulled the (an of hot fat off the stove all over himself and had almost died. Afterward the other kids sometimes called him huckie Ham$urger and huckie 6rankenstein, and huckie would cry. It was mean. The other kids didn&t seem to understand that a thing like that could ha((en to any kid. When you were three you didn&t have much in the smarts de(artment. John&s face was all ri((ed u(, $ut that didn&t scare her. It was Hockstetter&s face that scared her, and his face * e-ce(t for the eyes * was as ordinary as anyone else&s. His eyes were even worse than the eyes of the &motherly com(anion.& He was always using them to (ry at you. Hockstetter wanted her to make fires. He asked her again and again. He took her to a room, and sometimes there would $e crum(led*u( (ieces of news(a(er and sometimes there would $e little glass dishes filled with oil and sometimes there would $e other things. .ut for all the 5uestions, and all the fake sym(athy, it always came down to the same thing; harlie, set this on fire. Hockstetter scared her. She sensed that he had all sorts of . . . of 9things: that he could use on her to make her light fires. .ut she wouldn&t. 4-ce(t she was scared that she would. Hockstetter would use anything. He didn&t (lay fair, and one night.she had had a dream, and in this dream she had set Hockstetter on fire and she had awakened with her hands stuffed into her mouth to kee( $ack a scream. 3ne day, in order to (ost(one the inevita$le re5uest, she had asked when she could see her father. It had $een much on her mind, $ut she hadn&t asked, $ecause she knew what the answer would $e. .ut on this day she was feeling s(ecially tired and low*s(irited, and it had +ust sli((ed out. & harlie, I think you know the answer to that,& Hockstetter had said. He (ointed to the ta$le in the little room. There was a steel tray on the ta$le and it was filled with hea(s of curly woodshavings. &If you&ll light that, I&ll take you to your father right away. "ou can $e with him in two minutes.& .eneath his cold, watching eyes, Hockstetter&s mouth s(read wide in a +ust*(als sort of grin. &!ow, what say)& &2ive me a match,& harlie had answered, feeling the tears threaten. &I&ll light it.& &"ou can light it +ust $y thinking a$out it. "ou know that.& &!o. I can&t. And even if I could, I wouldn&t. It&s wrong.& Hockstetter looked at her sadly, the +ust*(als smile fading. & harlie, why do you hurt yourself like this) 'on&t you want to see your dad) He wants to see you. He told me to tell you it was all right.& And then she did cry, she cried hard and long, $ecause she did want to see him, not a minute of any day went $y without her thoughts turning to him, without missing him, without wanting to feel his solid arms around her. Hockstetter watched her cry and there was no sym(athy in his face, no sorrow or kindness. There was, however, careful calculation. 3h, she hated him. That had $een three weeks ago. Since then she had stu$$ornly not mentioned her father, although Hockstetter had dangled him $efore her constantly, telling her that her father was sad, that her father said it was okay to make fires, and worst of all, that her father had told Hockstetter that he guessed harlie didn&t love him anymore. She looked at her (ale face in the $athroom mirror and listened to the steady whine of John&s vacuum cleaner. When he finished that, he would change her $ed. Then he would dust. Then he would $e gone. Suddenly she didn&t want him to $e gone, she wanted to listen to him talk. At first she had always gone into the $athroom and stayed in there until he was gone, and once he had turned off the vacuum cleaner and knocked on the $athroom door, calling worriedly; &0id) "ou all right) "ou ain&t sick, are you)& His voice was so kind * and kindness, sim(le kindness, was so hard to come $y in here * that she had had to struggle to kee( her voice calm and cool $ecause the tears were threatening again. &"es . . . I&m okay.& She waited, wondering if he would try to take it further, try to get inside her like the others did, $ut he had sim(ly gone away and started his vacuum u( again. In a way she had $een disa((ointed. Another time he had $een washing the floor and when she came out of the $athroom, he had said, without looking u(, &Watch out for that wet floor, kid, you don&t want to $reak your arm.& That was all, $ut again she had $een nearly sur(rised into tears * it was concern, so sim(le and direct it was unconscious. Just lately she had $een coming out of the $athroom to watch him more and more. To watch him . . . and to listen to him. He would ask her 5uestions sometimes, $ut they were
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never threatening ones. Still, most times she wouldn&t answer, +ust on general (rinci(les..It didn&t sto( John. He would talk to her anyway. He would talk a$out his $owling scores, a$out his dog, a$out how his T< got $roken and it would $e a cou(le of weeks $efore he could get it fi-ed $ecause they wanted so much for those little tiny tu$es. She su((osed he was lonely. With a face like his, he (ro$a$ly didn&t have a wife or anything. She liked to listen to him $ecause it was like a secret tunnel to the outside. His voice was low, musical, sometimes wandering. It was never shar( and interrogative, like Hockstetter&s. He re5uired no re(ly, seemingly. She got off the toilet seat and went to the door, and that was when the lights went out. She stood there, (u==led, one hand on the doorkno$, her head cocked to one side. It immediately came to her that this was some sort of trick. She could hear the dying whine of John&s vacuum cleaner and then he said, &Well, what the hrist)& Then the lights came $ack on. Still harlie didn&t come out. The vacuum cleaner cycled $ack u( again. 6ootste(s a((roached the door and John said, &'id the lights go out in there for a second)& &"es.& &It&s the storm, I guess.& &What storm)& &Looked like it was going to storm when I came to work. .ig thunderheads.& Looked like it was going to storm. 3utside. She wished she could go outside and see the $ig thunderheads. Smell that funny way the air got $efore a summer storm. It got a rainy, wet smell. 4verything looked gr * The lights went out again. The vacuum died. The darkness was total. Her only connection with the world was her hand on the $rushed*chrome doorkno$. She $egan to ta( her tongue thoughtfully against her u((er li(. &0id)& She didn&t answer. A trick) A storm, he had said. And she $elieved that. She $elieved John. It was sur(rising and scary to find that she $elieved what someone had told her, after all this time. &0id)& It was him again. And this time he sounded . . . frightened. Her own fear of the dark, which had only $egun to cree( u( on her, was su$limated in his. &John, what&s the matter)& She o(ened the door and gro(ed in front of her. She didn&t go out, not yet. She was afraid of tri((ing over the vacuum cleaner. &What ha((ened)& !ow there was a $eat of (anic in his voice. It scared her. &Where&s the lights)& &They went out,& she said. &"ou said . . . the storm . . .& &I can&t stand the dark,& he said. There was terror in his voice and a kind of grotes5ue a(ology. &"ou don&t understand. I can&t . . . I got to get out . . .& She heard him make a sudden $lundering rush across the living room, and then there was a loud and frightening crash as he fell over something * the coffee ta$le, most likely. He cried out misera$ly and that frightened her even more. &John) John7 Are you all right)& &I got to get out7& he screamed. &1ake them let me out, kid7& &What&s wrong)& There was no answer, not for a long time. Then she heard a low, choked sound and.understood that he was crying. &Hel( me,& he said then, and harlie stood in the $athroom doorway, trying to decide. ,art of her fear had already dissolved into sym(athy, $ut (art of it remained 5uestioning, hard and $right. &Hel( me, oh some$ody hel( me,& he said in a low voice, so low it was as if he e-(ected no one to hear or heed. And that decided her. Slowly she $egan to feel her way across the room toward him, her hands held out in front of her. A 8ain$ird heard her coming and could not for$ear a grin in the dark * a hard, humorless grin that he covered with the (alm of his hand, in case the (ower should come $ack on at that (recise instant. &John)& He made a voice of strained agony through his grin. &I&m sorry, kid. I +ust . . . it&s the dark. I can&t stand the dark. It&s like the (lace where they (ut me after I was ca(tured.& &Who (ut you)& &The ong.& She was closer now. The grin left his face and he $egan to (ut himself into the (art. Scared. "ou&re scared $ecause the ong (ut you in a hole in the ground after one of their mines $lew most of your face off... and they ke(t you there... and now you need a friend. In a way, the (art was a natural. All he had to do was make her $elieve that his e-treme e-citement at this une-(ected chance was e-treme fear. And of course he was afraid * afraid of $lowing it. This made the shot from the tree with the am(ul of 3rasin look like child&s (lay. Her intuitions were deadly shar(. !ervous (ers(iration was flowing off him in rivers. &Who are the ong)& she asked, very close now. Her hand $rushed lightly (ast his face and he clutched it. She gas(ed nervously. &Hey, don&t $e scared,& he said. &It&s +ust that * & &"ou . . . that hurts. "ou&re hurting me.& It was e-actly the right tone. She was scared too, scared of the dark and scared of him . . . $ut worried a$out him, too. He wanted her to feel she had $een clutched $y a drowning man. &I&m sorry, kid.& He loosened his gri( $ut didn&t let go. &Just . . . can you sit $eside me)& &Sure.& She sat down, and he +um(ed at the mild thud of her $ody coming down on the
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floor. 3utside, far away, someone hollered something to someone else. &Let us out7& 8ain$ird screamed immediately. &Let us out7 Hey, let us out7 ,eo(le in here7& &Sto( it,& harlie said, alarmed. &We&re okay. . . I mean, aren&t we)& His mind, that overtuned machine, was clicking along at high s(eed, writing the scri(t, always three or four lines ahead, enough to $e safe, not enough to destroy hot s(ontaneity. 1ost of all he wondered +ust how long he had, how long $efore the lights went $ack on. He cautioned himself not to e-(ect or ho(e for too much. He had got his chisel under the edge of the $o-. Anything else would $e gravy. &"eah, I guess we are,& he said. &It&s +ust the dark, that&s all. I don&t even have a fucking.match or * Aw, hey, kid, I&m sorry. That +ust sli((ed out.& &That&s okay,& harlie said. &Sometimes my dad says that word. 3nce when he was fi-ing my wagon out in the garage he hit his hand with the hammer and said it five or sitimes. 3ther ones, too.& This was $y far the longest s(eech she had ever made in 8ain$ird&s (resence. &Will they come and let us out (retty soon)& &They can&t until they get the (ower $ack on,& he said, misera$le on the outside, gleeful on the inside. &These doors, kid, they&ve all got electric locks. They&re $uilt to lock solid if the (ower goes off; They&ve got you in a fuh * they&ve got you in a cell, kid. It looks like a nice little a(artment, $ut you might as well $e in +ail.& &I know,& she said 5uietly. He was still holding her hand tightly $ut she didn&t seem to mind as much now. &"ou shouldn&t say it, though. I think they listen.& They7 8ain$ird thought, and a hot trium(hant +oy flashed through him. He was faintly aware that he had not felt such intensity of emotion in ten years. They7 She&s talking a$out they7 He felt his chisel sli( farther under the corner of the $o- that was harlie 1c2ee, and he involuntarily s5uee=ed her hand again. &3w7& &Sorry, kid,& he said, letting off. &I know damn well they listen. .ut they ain&t listening now, with the (ower off; 3h kid, I don&t like this, I gotta get out of here7& He $egan to trem$le. &Who are the ong)& &"ou don&t know) . . . !o, you&re too young, I guess. It was the war, kid. The war in <ietnam. The ong were the $ad guys. They wore $lack (a+amas. In the +ungle. "ou know a$out the <ietnam war, don&t you)& She knew a$out it . . . vaguely. &We were on (atrol and we walked into an am$ush,& he said. That much was the truth, $ut this was where John 8ain$ird and the truth (arted com(any. There was no need to confuse her $y (ointing out that they had all $een stoned, most of the grunts smoked u( well on am$odian red, and their West ,oint lieutenant, who was only one ste( away from the check(oint $etween the lands of sanity and madness, on the (eyote $uttons that he chewed whenever they were on (atrol. 8ain$ird had once seen this looey shoot a (regnant woman with a semiautomatic rifle, had seen the woman&s si-*month fetus ri((ed from her $ody in disintegrating (ieces/ that, the looey told them later, was known as a West ,oint A$ortion. So there they were, on their way $ack to $ase, and they had indeed walked into an am$ush, only it had $een laid $y their own guys, even more stoned than they were, and four guys had $een $lown away. 8ain$ird saw no need to tell harlie all of this, or that the laymore that had (ulveri=ed half his face had $een made in a 1aryland munitions (lant. &There were only si- of us that got out. We ran. We ran through the +ungle and I guess I went the wrong way. Wrong way) 8ight way) In that cra=y war you didn&t know which way was the right way $ecause there weren&t any real lines. I got se(arated from the rest of my guys. I was still trying to find something familiar when I walked over a land mine. That&s what ha((ened to my face.& &I&m very sorry,& harlie said. &When I woke u(, they had me,& 8ain$ird said, now off into the never*never land of total fiction. He had actually come to in a Saigon army hos(ital with an I< dri( in his.arm. &They wouldn&t give me any medical treatment, nothing like that, unless I answered their 5uestions.& !ow carefully. If he did it carefully it would come right/ he could feel it. His voice rose, $ewildered and $itter. &@uestions, all the time 5uestions. They wanted to know a$out troo( movements . . . su((lies . . . light*infantry de(loyment . . . everything. They never let u(. They were always at me.& &"es,& harlie said fervently, and his heart gladdened. &I ke(t telling them I didn&t know anything, couldn&t tell them anything, that I was nothing $ut a lousy grunt, +ust a num$er with a (ack on its $ack. They didn&t $elieve me. 1y face . . . the (ain . . . I got down on my knees and $egged for mor(hine . . . they said after . . . after I told them I could have the mor(hine. I could $e treated in a good hos(ital . . . after I told them.& !ow harlie&s gri( was the one that was tightening. She thought a$out Hockstetter&s cool gray eyes, of Hockstetter (ointing at the steel tray filled with curly woodshavings. I think you know the answer . . . if you light that, I&ll take you to see your father right away. "ou can $e with him in two minutes. Her heart went out to this man with the $adly wounded face, this grown man who was afraid of the dark. She thought she could understand what he had $een through. She knew his (ain. And in the dark she $egan to cry silently for him, and in a way the tears were also for herself... all the unshed tears of the last five months. They were tears of (ain and rage for John 8ain$ird, her father, her mother, herself. They $urned and scourged. The tears were not silent enough to go unheard $y 8ain$ird&s radar ears. He had to struggle to su((ress another smile. 3h yes, the chisel was well (lanted. Tough cracks and
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easy cracks, $ut no im(ossi$le cracks. &They +ust never $elieved me. 6inally they threw me into a hole in the ground, and it was always dark. There was a little . . . a room, I guess you&d say, with roots sticking out of the earth walls . . . and sometimes I could see a little sunlight a$out nine feet u(. They&d come * their commandant, I guess he was * and he&d ask me if I was ready to talk yet. He said I was turning white down there, like a fish. That my face was getting infected, that I&d get gangrene in my face and then it would get into my $rain and rot it and make me cra=y and then I&d die. He&d ask me if I&d like to get out of the dark and see the sun again. And I&d (lead with him . . . I&d $eg . . . I&d swear on my mother&s name that I didn&t know anything. And then they&d laugh and (ut the $oards $ack and cover them u( with dirt. It was like $eing $uried alive. The dark . . . like this . . .& He made a choked sound in his throat and harlie s5uee=ed his hand tighter to show him that she was there. &There was the room and there was a little tunnel a$out seven feet long. I had to go down to the end of the tunnel to . . . you know. And the air was $ad and I ke(t thinking I&m going to smother down here in the dark, I&m going to choke on the smell of my own sh * & He groaned. &I&m sorry. This is nothing to tell a kid.& &That&s all right. If it makes you feel $etter, it&s all right.& He de$ated, and then decided to go +ust a little further. &I was down there for five months $efore they e-changed me.& &What did you eat)& &They threw down rotted rice. And sometimes s(iders. Live s(iders. 2reat $ig ones * tree s(iders, I guess. I&d chase after them in the dark, you know, and kill them and eat.them.& &3h, gross7& &They turned me into an animal,& he said, and was 5uiet for a moment, $reathing loudly. &"ou got it $etter than me, kid, $ut it comes down to (retty much the same thing. A rat in a tra(. "ou think they&ll get the lights on (retty soon)& She didn&t say anything for a long time, and he was coldly afraid that he had gone too far. Then harlie said, &It doesn&t matter. We&re together.& &All right,& he said, and then in a rush; &"ou won&t tell, will you) They&d fire me for the.& way I $een talking. I need this +o$. When you look the way I do, you need a good +o$.& &!o, I won&t tell.& He felt the chisel sli( smoothly in another notch. They had a secret $etween them now. He was holding her in his hands. In the dark, he thought how it would $e to sli( his hands around her neck. That was the final o$+ect in view, of course * not their stu(id tests, their (layground games. Her . . . and then (erha(s himself. He liked her, he really did. He might even $e falling in love with her. The time would come when he would send her over, looking carefully into her eyes all the time. And then, if her eyes gave him the signal he had looked for for so long, (erha(s he would follow her. "es. ,erha(s they would go into the real darkness together. 3utside, $eyond the locked door, eddies of confusion (assed $ack and forth, sometimes near, sometimes far away. 8ain$ird mentally s(at on his hands and then went $ack to work on her. C Andy had no idea that they hadn&t come to get him out $ecause the (ower failure had automatically locked the doors. He sat in a half*swoon of (anic for some unknown time, sure the (lace was $urning down, imagining the smell of smoke. 3utside, the storm had cleared and late afternoon sunshine was slanting down toward dusk. @uite suddenly harlie&s face came into his mind, as clearly as if she had $een standing there in front of him. 9she&s in danger charlie&s in danger: It was one of his hunches, the first he&d had since that last day in Tashmore. He thought he had lost that along with the (ush, $ut a((arently that was not so, $ecause he had never had a hunch clearer than this one * not even on the day <icky was killed. 'id that mean the (ush was still there, too) !ot gone at all, $ut only hiding) 9charlie&s in danger7: What sort of danger) He didn&t know. .ut the thought, the fear, had $rought her face clearly in front of him, outlined on this darkness in every detail. And the image of her face, her wide set $lue eyes and fine*s(un $lond hair, $rought guilt like a twin . . . e-ce(t that guilt was too mild a word for what he. felt/ it was something like horror that he felt. He had $een in a cra=e of (anic ever since the lights went out, and the (anic had $een com(letely for himself. It had never even occurred to him that harlie must $e in the dark, too. !o, they&ll come and get her out, they (ro$a$ly came and got her out long ago. harlie&s the one they want. harlie&s their meal ticket..That made sense, $ut he still felt that suffocating surety that she was in some terri$le danger. His fear for her had the effect of swee(ing the (anic for himself away, or at least of making it more managea$le. His awareness turned outward again and $ecame more o$+ective. The first thing he $ecame aware of was that he was sitting in a (uddle of ginger ale. His (ants were wet and tacky with it, and he made a small sound of disgust. 1ovement. 1ovement was the cure for fear. He got on his knees, felt for the overturned anada 'ry can, and $atted it away. It went clinkrolling across the tiled floor. He got another can out of the fridge/ his mouth was still dry. He (ulled the ta$ and dro((ed it down into the can and then drank. The ringta$ tried to esca(e into his mouth and he s(at it $ack a$sently, not (ausing to reflect that only a little while ago, that alone would have $een e-cuse enough for another fifteen minutes of fear and trem$ling. He $egan to feel his way out of the kitchen, trailing his free hand along the wall. This
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level was entirely 5uiet now, and although he heard an occasional faraway call, there seemed to $e nothing u(set or (anicky a$out the sound. The smell of smoke had $een a hallucination. The air was a $it stale $ecause all the convectors had sto((ed when the (ower went off, $ut that was all. Instead of crossing the living room, Andy turned left and crawled into his $edroom. He felt his way carefully to the $ed, set his can of ginger ale on the $edta$le, and then undressed. Ten minutes later he was dressed in fresh clothes and feeling much $etter. It occurred to him that he had done all of this with no (articular trou$le, whereas after the lights went out, crossing the living room had $een like crossing a live minefield. 9charlie * what&s wrong with charlie): .ut it wasn&t really a feeling that something was wrong with her, +ust a feeling that she was in danger of something ha((ening. If he could see her, he could ask her what He laughed $itterly in the dark. "es, right. And (igs will whistle, $eggars will ride. 1ight as well wish for the moon in a mason +ar. 1ight as well 6or a moment his thoughts sto((ed entirely, and then moved on * $ut more slowly, and with no $itterness. 1ight as well wish to think $usinessmen into having more self*confidence. 1ight as well wish to think fat ladies thin. 1ight as well wish to $lind one of the goons who had kidna((ed harlie. 1ight as well wish for the (ush to come $ack. His hands were $usy on the $eds(read, (ulling it, kneading it, feeling it * the mind&s need, nearly unconscious, for some sort of constant sensory in(ut. There was no sense in ho(ing for the (ush to come $ack. The (ush was gone. He could no more (ush his way to harlie than he could (itch for the 8eds. It was gone. 9is it7: @uite suddenly he wasn&t sure. ,art of him some very dee( (art * had may$e +ust decided it didn&t $uy his conscious decision to follow the (ath of least resistance and give them whatever they wanted. ,erha(s some dee( (art of him had decided not to give u(. He sat feeling the $eds(read, running his hands over and over it. Was that true, or only wishful thinking $rought on $y one sudden and un(rova$le hunch) The hunch itself might have $een as false as the smoke he&d thought he smelled, $rought on $y sim(le an-iety. There was no way to check the hunch, and there was.certainly no one here to (ush. He drank his ginger ale. Su((ose the (ush had come $ack. That was no universal cure*all/ he of all (eo(le knew that. He could give a lot of little (ushes or three or four wallo(ers $efore he ti((ed himself over. He might get to harlie, $ut he didn&t have a snowflake&s chance in hell of getting them out of here. All he would succeed in doing was (ushing himself into the grave via a $rain hemorrhage 9and as he thought of this, his fingers went automatically to his face, where the num$ s(ots had $een:. Then there was the matter of the Thora=ine they had $een feeding him. The lack of it * the lateness of the dose due when the lights had gone out * had (layed a large (art in his (anic, he knew. 4ven now, feeling more in control of himself, he wanted that Thora=ine and the tran5uil, coasting feeling it $rought. At the $eginning, they had ke(t him off the Thora=ine for as long as two days $efore testing him. The result had $een constant nervousness and a low de(ression like thick clouds that never seemed to & let u( . . . and $ack then he hadn&t $uilt u( a heavy thing, as he had now. &6ace it, you&re a +unky,& he whis(ered. He didn&t know if that was true or not. He knew that there were (hysical addictions like the one to nicotine, and to heroin, which caused (hysical changes in the central nervous system. And then there were (sychological addictions. He had taught with a fellow named .ill Wallace who got very, very nervous without his three or four okes a day, and his old college $uddy @uincey had $een a (otato*chi( freak * $ut he had to have an o$scure !ew 4ngland $rand, Hum(ty 'um(ty/ he claimed no other kind satisfied. Andy su((osed those 5ualified as (sychological addictions. He didn&t know if his craving for his (ill was (hysical or (sychological/ he only knew that he needed it, he really needed it. Just sitting here and thinking a$out the $lue (ill in the white dish had him cotton mouthed all over again. They no longer ke(t him without the drug for forty*eight hours $efore testing him, although whether that was $ecause they felt he couldn&t go that long without getting the screaming meemies or $ecause they were +ust going through the motions of testing, he didn&t know. The result was a cruelly neat, insolu$le (ro$lem/ he couldn&t (ush if he was full of Thora=ine, and yet he sim(ly didn&t have the will to refuse it 9and, of course, if they caught him refusing it, that would o(en a whole new can of worms for them, wouldn&t it) * real night*crawlers:. When they $rought him the $lue (ill in the white dish after this was over, he would take it. And little $y little, he would work his way $ack to the calmly a(athetic steady state he had $een in when the (ower went off; All of this was +ust a s(ooky little side*tri(. He would $e $ack to watching ,TL lu$ and lint 4astwood on Home .o- 3ffice soon enough, and snacking too much out of the always*well*stocked fridge. .ack to (utting on weight. 9charlie, charlie&s in danger, charlie&s in all sorts of trou$le, she&s in a world of hurt: If so, there was nothing he could do a$out it. And even if there was, even if he could somehow con5uer the monkey on his $ack and get them out of here * (igs will whistle and $eggars will ride, why the hell not) any ultimate solution concerning harlie&s future would $e as far away as ever. He lay $ack on his $ed, s(read*eagled. The small de(artment of his mind that now dealt e-clusively with Thora=ine continued to clamor restlessly. There were no solutions in the (resent, and so he drifted into the (ast. He saw himself.and harlie fleeing u( Third Avenue in a kind of slow*motion nightmare, a $ig man in a scuffed cord +acket and a little girl in red and green. He saw harlie, her face strained and
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(ale, tears running down her cheeks after she had got all the change from the (ay (hones at the air(ort . . . she got the change and set some serviceman&s shoes on fire. His mind drifted $ack even further to the storefront in ,ort ity, ,ennsylvania, and 1rs. 2urney. Sad, fat 1rs. 2urney, who had come into the Weight*3ff office in a green (antsuit, clutching at the carefully lettered slogan that had actually $een harlie&s idea. "ou Will Lose Weight or We Will .uy "our 2roceries for the !e-t Si- 1onths. 1rs. 2urney, who had $orne her truck*dis(atcher hus$and four children $etween %CIG and %CIK, and now the children were grown and they were disgusted with her, and her hus$and was disgusted with her, and he was seeing another woman, and she could understand that $ecause Stan 2urney was still a good*looking, vital, virile man at fiftyfive, and she had slowly gained one hundred and si-ty (ounds over the years since the second*to*last child had left for college, going from the one*forty she had weighed at marriage to an even three hundred (ounds. She had come in, smooth and monstrous and des(erate in her green (antsuit, and her ass was nearly as wide as a $ank (resident&s desk. When she looked down into her (urse to find her check$ook, her three chins $ecame si-. He had (ut her in a class with three other fat women. There were e-ercises and a mild diet, $oth of which Andy had researched at the ,u$lic Li$rary/ there were mild (e( talks, which he $illed as &counseling& * and every now and then there was a medium*hard (ush. 1rs. 2urney had gone from three hundred to two*eighty to two*seventy, confessing with mi-ed fear and delight that she didn&t seem to want second hel(ings anymore. The second hel(ing +ust didn&t seem to taste good. .efore, she had always ke(t $owls and $owls of snacks in the refrigerator 9and doughnuts in the $read$o-, and two or three Sara Lee cheesecakes in the free=er: for watching T< at night, $ut now she somehow . . . well, it sounded almost cra=y, $ut . . . she ke(t forgetting they were there. And she had always heard that when you were dieting, snacks were all you could think of. It certainly hadn&t $een this way, she said, when she tried Weight Watchers. The other three women in the grou( had res(onded eagerly in kind. Andy merely stood $ack and watched them, feeling a$surdly (aternal. All four of them were astounded and delighted $y the commonality of their e-(erience. The toning*u( e-ercises, which had always seemed so $oring and (ainful $efore, now seemed almost (leasant. And then there was this weird com(ulsion to walk. They all agreed that if they hadn&t walked a good $it $y the end of the day, they felt somehow ill at ease and restless. 1rs. 2urney confessed that she had got into the ha$it of walking downtown and $ack every day, even though the round tri( was more than two miles. .efore, she had always taken the $us, which was surely the sensi$le thing to do, since the sto( was right in front of her house. .ut one day she had taken it * $ecause her thigh muscles did ache that much * she had got to feeling so uneasy and restless that she had got off& at the second sto(. The others agreed. And they all $lessed Andy 1c2ee for it, sore muscles and all. 1rs. 2urney had dro((ed to two*fifty at her third weigh*in, and when her si-*week course ended, she was down to two hundred and twentyfive (ounds. She said her hus$and was stunned at what had ha((ened, es(ecially after her failure with countless dieting (rograms and fads. He wanted her to go see a doctor/ he was afraid she might have cancer. He didn&t $elieve it was (ossi$le to lose seventy*five (ounds in si- weeks $y.natural means. She showed him her fingers, which were red and callused from taking in her clothes with needle and thread. And then she threw her arms around him 9nearly $reaking his $ack: and we(t against his neck. His alumni usually came $ack, +ust as his more successful college students usually came $ack at least once, some to say thanks, some merely to (arade their success $efore him * to say, in effect, Look here, the student has outraced the teacher . . . something that was hardly as uncommon as they seemed to think, Andy sometimes thought. .ut 1rs. 2urney had $een one of the former. She had come $ack to say hello and thanks a lot only ten days or so $efore Andy had $egun to feel nervous and watched in ,ort ity. And $efore the end of that month, they had gone on to !ew "ork ity. 1rs. 2urney was still a $ig woman/ you noticed the startling difference only if you had seen her $efore * like one of those $efore*and*after ads in the maga=ines. When she dro((ed in that last time, she was down to a hundred and ninety*five (ounds. .ut it wasn&t her e-act weight that mattered, of course. What mattered was that she was losing weight at the same measured rate of si- (ounds a week, (lus or minus two (ounds, and she would go on losing at a decreasing rate until she was down to one hundred and thirty (ounds, (lus or minus ten (ounds. There would $e no e-(losive decom(ression, and no lingering hangover of food horror, the sort of thing that sometimes led to anore-ia nervosa. Andy wanted to make some money, $ut he didn&t want to kill anyone doing it. &"ou ought to $e declared a national resource for what you&re doing,& 1rs. 2urney had declared, after telling Andy that she had effected a ra((rochement with her children and that her relations with her hus$and were im(roving. Andy had smiled and thanked her, $ut now, lying on his $ed in the darkness, growing drowsy, he reflected that that was (retty close to what had ha((ened to him and harlie; they had $een declared national resources. Still, the talent was not all $ad. !ot when it could hel( a 1rs. 2urney. He smiled a little. And smiling, sle(t. %G He could never remem$er the details of the dream afterward. He had $een looking for something. He had $een in some la$yrinthine ma=e of corridors, lit only $y dull red trou$le lights. He o(ened doors on em(ty rooms and then closed them again. Some of the rooms were littered with $alls of crum(led (a(er and in one there was an overturned ta$le lam( and a fallen (icture done in the style of Wyeth. He felt that he was in some sort of installation that had $een shut down and cleared out in one hell of a tearing hurry.
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And yet he had at last found what he was looking for. It was . . . what) A $o-) A chest) It was terri$ly heavy, whatever it was, and it had $een marked with a white*stenciled skull and cross$ones, like a +ar of rat (oison ke(t on a high cellar shelf. Somehow, in s(ite of its weight 9it had to weigh at least as much as 1rs. 2urney:, he managed to (ick it u(. He could feel all his muscles and, tendons (ulling taut and hard, yet there was no (ain. 3f course there isn&t, he told himself. There&s no (ain $ecause it&s a dream. "ou&ll (ay for it later. "ou&ll have the (ain later..He carried the $o- out of the room where he had found it. There was a (lace he had
to
take it, $ut he didn&t know what or where it was * "ou&ll know it when you see it, his mind whis(ered. So he carried the $o- or chest u( and down endless corridors, its weight tugging (ainlessly at his muscles, stiffening the $ack of his neck/ and although his muscles didn&t hurt, he was getting the $eginnings of a headache. The $rain is a muscle, his mind lectured, and the lecture $ecame a chant like a child&s song, a little girl&s ski((ing rhyme; The $rain is a, muscle that can move the world. The $rain is a muscle that can move * !ow all the doors were like su$way doors, $ulging outward in a slight curve, fitted with large windows/ all these windows had rounded corners. Through these doors 9if they were doors: he saw a confusion of sights. In one room 'r. Wanless was (laying a huge accordion. He looked like some cra=ed Lawrence Welk with a tin cu( full of (encils in front of him and a sign around his neck that read TH484 A84 !3!4 S3 .LI!' AS TH3S4 WH3 WILL !3T S44. Through another window he could see a girl in a white caftan flying through the air, screaming, careering off the walls, and Andy hurried (ast that one 5uickly. Through another he saw harlie and he $ecame convinced again that this was some sort of (irate dream * $uried treasure, yo*ho*ho and all of that $ecause harlie a((eared to $e talking with Long John Silver. This man had a (arrot on his shoulder and an eye(atch over one eye. He was grinning at harlie with a kind of smarmy false friendshi( that made Andy nervous. As if in confirmation of this, the one*eyed (irate sli((ed an arm around harlie&s shoulders and cried hoarsely, &We&ll do &em yet, kid7& Andy wanted to sto( there and knock on the window until he attracted harlie&s attention * she was staring at the (irate as if hy(noti=ed. He wanted to make sure she saw through this strange man, to make sure she understood that he wasn&t what he seemed. .ut he couldn&t sto(. He had this damned 9$o-) chest): to 9))): to what) Just what the hell was he su((osed to do with it) .ut he would know when it was time. He went (ast do=ens of other rooms * he could&t remem$er all of the things he saw * and then he was in a long $lank corridor that ended in a $lank wall. .ut not entirely $lank/ there was something in the e-act center of it, a $ig steel rectangle like a mail slot. Then he saw the word that had $een stam(ed on it in raised letters, and understood. 'IS,3SAL, it read. And suddenly 1rs. 2urney was $eside him, a slim and (retty 1rs. 2urney with a sha(ely $ody and trim legs that looked made for dancing all night long, dancing on a terrace until the stars went (ale in the sky and dawn rose in the east like sweet music. "ou&d never guess, he thought, $emused, that her clothes were once made $y 3mar the Tentmaker. He tried to lift the $o-, $ut couldn&t. Suddenly it was +ust too heavy. His headache was worse.. It was like the $lack horse, the riderless horse with the red eyes, and with dawning horror he reali=ed it was loose, it was somewhere in this a$andoned installation,.and it was coming for him, thudding, thudding &I&ll hel( you,& 1rs. 2urney said. &"ou hel(ed me/ now I&ll hel( you. After all, you are the national resource, not me.& &"ou look so (retty,& he said. His voice seemed to come from far away, through the thickening headache. &I feel like I&ve $een let out of (rison,& 1rs. 2urney res(onded. &Let me hel( you.& &It&s +ust that my head aches * & &3f course it does. After all, the $rain is a muscle.& 'id she hel( him, or did he do it himself) He couldn&t remem$er. .ut he could remem$er thinking that he understood the dream now, it was the (ush he was getting rid of, once and for all, the (ush. He remem$ered ti((ing the $o- against the slot marked 'IS,3SAL, ti((ing it u(, wondering what it would look like when it came out, this thing that had sat inside his $rain since his college days. .ut it wasn&t the (ush that came out/ he felt $oth sur(rise and fear as the to( o(ened. What s(illed into the chute was a flood of $lue (ills his (ills, and he was scared, all right/ he was, in the words of 2ranther 1c2ee, suddenly scared enough to shit nickels. &!o7& he shouted. &"es,& 1rs. 2urney answered firmly. &The $rain is a muscle that can move the world.& Then he saw it her way. It seemed that the more he (oured the more his head ached, and the more his head ached the darker it got, until there was no light, the dark was total, it was a living dark, someone had $lown all the fuses somewhere and there was no light, no $o-, no dream, only his headache and the riderless horse with the red eyes coming on and coming on. Thud thud, thud . . . %%
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He must have $een awake a long time $efore he actually reali=ed he was awake. The total lack of light made the e-act dividing line hard to find. A few years $efore, he had read of an e-(eriment in which a num$er of monkeys had $een (ut into environments designed to muffle all their senses. The monkeys had all gone cra=y. He could understand why. He had no idea how long he had $een slee(ing, no concrete in(ut e-ce(t &3ww, Jesus7& Sitting u( drove two monstrous $olts of chromium (ain into his head. He cla((ed his hands to his skull and rocked it $ack and forth, and little $y little the (ain su$sided to a more managea$le level. !o concrete sensory in(ut e-ce(t this . rotten headache. I must have sle(t on my neck or something, he thought. I must have !o. 3h, no. He knew this headache, knew it well. It was the sort of headache he got from a medium*to*hard (ush . . . harder than the ones he had given the fat ladies and shy $usinessmen, not 5uite as hard as the ones he had given the fellows at the turn(ike rest sto( that time. Andy&s hands flew to his face and felt it all over, from $row to chin. There were no s(ots where the feeling trailed away to num$ness. When he smiled, $oth corners of his mouth went u( +ust as they always had. He wished to 2od for a light so he could look.into his own eyes in the $athroom mirror to see if either of them showed that tell*tale $lood sheen .... ,ush) ,ushing) That was ridiculous. Who was there to (ush) Who, e-ce(tP His $reath slowed to a sto( in his throat and then resumed slowly. He had thought of it $efore $ut had never tried it. He thought it would $e like overloading a circuit $y cycling a charge through it endlessly. He had $een scared to try it. 1y (ill, he thought. 1y (ill is overdue and I want it, I really want it, I really need it. 1y (ill will make everything all right. It was +ust a thought. It $rought on no craving at all. The idea of taking a Thora=ine had all the emotional gradient of (lease (ass the $utter. The fact was, e-ce(t for the rotten headache, he felt (retty much all right. And the fact also was he had had headaches a lot worse than this * the one at the Al$any air(ort, for instance. This one was a $a$y com(ared to that. I&ve (ushed myself, he thought, ama=ed. 6or the first time he could really understand how harlie felt, $ecause for the first time he was a little frightened $y his own (si talent. 6or the first time he really understood how little he understood a$out what it was and what it could do. Why had it gone) He didn&t know. Why had it come $ack) He didn&t know that either. 'id it have something to do with his intense fear in the dark) His sudden feeling that harlie was $eing threatened 9he had a ghostly memory of the (iratical one*eyed man and then it floated away, gone: and his own dismal self*loathing at the way he had forgotten her) ,ossi$ly even the ra( on the head he had taken when he fell down) He didn&t know/ he knew only that he had (ushed himself. The $rain is a muscle that can move the world. It suddenly occurred to him that while he was giving little nudges to $usinessmen and fat ladies, he could have $ecome a one*man drug*reha$ilitation center, and he was sei=ed in a shivery ecstasy of dawning su((osition. He had gone to slee( thinking that a talent that could hel( (oor fat 1rs. 2urney couldn&t $e all $ad. What a$out a talent that could knock the monkey off the $ack of every (oor +unkie in !ew "ork ity) What a$out that, s(orts fans) &Jesus,& he whis(ered. &Am I really clean)& There was no craving. Thora=ine, the image of the $lue (ill on the white (late * that thought had $ecome unmistaka$ly neutral. &I am clean,& he answered himself. !e-t 5uestion; could he stay clean) .ut he had no more than asked himself that one when other 5uestions flooded in. ould he find out e-actly what was ha((ening to harlie) He had used the (ush on himself in his slee(, like a kind of autohy(nosis. ould he use it on others while awake) The endlessly, re(ulsively grinning ,ynchot, for instance) ,ynchot would know what was ha((ening to harlie. ould he $e made to tell) ould he may$e even get her out of here after all) Was there a way to do that) And if they did get out, what then) !o more running, for one thing. That was no solution. There had to $e a (lace to go..6or the first time in months he felt e-cited, ho(eful. He $egan to try scra(s of (lan, acce(ting, re+ecting, 5uestioning. 6or the first time in months he felt at home in his own head, alive and vital, ca(a$le of action. And a$ove all else, there was this; if he could fool them into $elieving two things that he was still drugged and that he was still inca(a$le of using his mental*domination talent, he might * he +ust might have a chance of doing * doing something. He was still turning it all over restlessly in his mind when the lights came $ack on. In the other room, the T< $egan s(outing that same old Jesuswill*take*care*of*your*soul*and* we&ll*take*care*of*your*$ank*$ook +ive. The eyes, the electric eyes7 They&re watching you again, or soon will $e .... 'on&t forget that7 6or one moment, everything came home to him the days and weeks of su$terfuge that would surely lie ahead if he was to have any chance at all, and the near certainty that he would $e caught at some (oint. 'e(ression waved in . . . $ut it $rought no craving for the (ill with it, and that hel(ed him to catch hold of himself.
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He thought of harlie, and that hel(ed more. He got u( slowly from the $ed and walked into the living room. &What ha((ened)& he cried loudly. &I was scared7 Where&s my medication) Some$ody $ring me my medication7& He sat down in front of the T<, his face slack and dull and heavy. And $ehind that va(id face, his $rain * that muscle that could move the world ticked away faster and faster. %? Like the dream her father had had at the same time, harlie 1c2ee could never remem$er the details of her long conversation with John 8ain$ird, only the high s(ots. She was never 5uite sure how she came to (our out the story of how she came to $e here, or to s(eak of her intense loneliness for her father and her terror that they would find some way to trick her into using her (yrokinetic a$ility again. ,art of it was the $lackout, of course, and the knowledge that they weren&t listening. ,art of it was John himself, he had $een through so much, and he was so (athetically afraid of the dark and the memories it $rought of the terri$le hole those & ongs& had (ut him in. He had asked her, almost a(athetically, why they had locked her u(, and she had $egun talking +ust to distract his mind. .ut it had 5uickly $ecome more than that. It $egan to come out faster and faster, everything she had ke(t $ottled u(, until the words were tum$ling out all over one another, helter*skelter. 3nce or twice she had cried, and he held her clumsily. He was a sweet man . . . in many ways he reminded her of her father. &!ow if they find out you know all of that,& she said, &they&ll (ro$a$ly lock you u(, too. I shouldn&t have told.& &They&d lock me u(, all right,& John said cheerfully. &I got a ' clearance, kid. That gives me clearance to o(en $ottles of Johnson&s Wa- and that&s a$out all.& He laughed. &We&ll $e all right if you don&t let on that you told me, I guess.& &I won&t,& harlie said eagerly. She had $een a little uneasy herself, thinking if John told, they might use him on her like a lever. &I&m awful thirsty. There&s icewater in the.refrigerator. "ou want some)& &'on&t leave me,& he said immediately. &Well, let&s go together. We&ll hold hands.& He a((eared to think a$out this. &All right,& he said. They shuffled across to the kitchen together, hands gri((ed tightly. &"ou&d $etter not let on, kid. 4s(ecially a$out this. Hea(*$ig Indian afraid of the dark. The guys&d laugh me right out of this (lace.& &They wouldn&t laugh if they knew * & &1ay$e not. 1ay$e so.& He chuckled a little. &.ut I&d +ust as soon they never found out. I +ust thank 2od you was here, kid.& She was so touched that her eyes filled again and she had to struggle for control of herself. They reached the fridge, and she located the +ug of icewater $y feel. It wasn&t icy cold anymore, $ut it soothed her throat. She wondered with fresh unease +ust how long she had talked, and didn&t know. .ut she had told . . . everything. 4ven the (arts she had meant to hold $ack, like what had ha((ened at the 1anders farm. 3f course, the (eo(le like Hockstetter knew, $ut she didn&t care a$out them. She did care a$out John . . . and his o(inion of her. .ut she had told. He would ask a 5uestion that somehow (ierced right to the heart of the matter, and . . . she had told, often with tears. And instead of more 5uestions and cross*e-amination and mistrust, there had $een only acce(tance and calm sym(athy. He seemed to understand the hell she had $een through, may$e $ecause he had $een through hell himself. &Here&s the water,& she said. &Thanks.& She heard him drink, and then it was (laced $ack in her hands. &Thanks a lot.& She (ut it away. &Let&s go $ack in the other room,& he said. &I wonder if they&ll ever get the lights $ack on.& He was, im(atient for them to come on now. They had $een off more than seven hours, he guessed. He wanted to get out of here and think a$out all of this. !ot what she had told him * he knew all of that * $ut how to use it. &I&m sure they&ll $e on soon,& harlie said. They shuffled their way $ack to the sofa and sat down. &They haven&t told you anything a$out your old man)& &Just that he&s all right,& she said. &I&ll $et I could get in to see him,& 8ain$ird said, as if this idea had +ust occurred to him. &"ou could) "ou really think you could)& &I could change with Her$ie someday. See him. Tell him you&re okay. Well, not tell him $ut (ass him a note or something& &3h, wouldn&t that $e dangerous)& &It would $e dangerous to make a $usiness of it, kid. .ut I owe you one. I&ll see how he is.& She threw her arms around him in the dark and kissed him. 8ain$ird gave her an affectionate hug. In his own way, he loved her, now more than ever. She was his now, and he su((osed he was hers. 6or a while. They sat together, not talking much, and harlie do=ed. Then he said something that woke her u( as suddenly as com(letely as a dash of cold water in the face. &Shit, you ought to light their damn fires, if you can do it.&. harlie sucked her $reath in, shocked, as if he had suddenly hit her. &I told you,& she said. &It&s like letting a . . . a wild animal out of a cage. I (romised myself I&d never do it again. That soldier at the air(ort . . . and those men at that farm . . . I killed them . . . $urned them u(7& Her face was hot, $urning, and she was on the verge of tears again. &The way you told it, it sounded like selfdefense.&
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&"es, $ut that&s no e-cuse to * & &It also sounded like may$e you saved your old man&s life.& Silence from harlie. .ut he could feel trou$le and confusion and misery coming of her in waves. He hastened on, not wanting her to remem$er right now that she had come very close to killing her father as well. &As for that guy Hockstetter, I&ve seen him around. I saw guys like him in the war. 4very one of them a ninety*day wonder, 0ing Shit of Turd 1ountain. If he can&t get what he wants from you one way, he&ll try some other way.& &That&s what scares me the most,& she admitted in a low voice. &.esides, there&s one guy who could use a hotfoot.& harlie was shocked, $ut giggled hard * the way a dirty +oke could sometimes make her laugh harder +ust $ecause it was so $ad to tell them. When she was over her giggles, she said; &!o, I won&t light fires, I (romised myself. It&s $ad and I won&t.& It was enough. It was time to sto(. He felt that he could kee( going on (ure intuition, $ut he recogni=ed that it might $e a false feeling. He was tired now. Working on the girl had $een every $it as e-hausting as working on one of 8ammaden&s safes. It would $e too easy to go on and make a mistake that could never $e undone. &"eah, okay. I guess you&re right.& &"ou really will see my dad)& &I&ll try, kid.& &I&m sorry you got stuck in here with me, John. .ut I&m awful glad, too.& &"eah.& They talked of inconse5uential things, and she (ut her head on his arm. He felt that she was do=ing ofd& again * it was very late now * and when the lights went on a$out forty minutes later, she was fast aslee(. The light in her face made her stir and turn her head into his darkness. He looked down thoughtfully at the slender willow stem of her neck, the tender curve of her skull. So much (ower in that small, delicate cradle of $one. ould it $e true) His mind still re+ected it, $ut his heart felt it was so. It was a strange and somehow wonderful feeling to find himself so divided. His heart felt it was true to an e-tent they wouldn&t $elieve, true (erha(s to the e-tent of that mad Wanless&s ravings. He (icked her u(, carried her to her $ed, and sli((ed her $etween the sheets. As he (ulled them u( to her chin, she stired half awake. He leaned over im(ulsively and kissed her. &2oodnight, kid.& &2oodnight, 'addy,& she said in a thick, slee(ing voice. Then she rolled over and $ecame still. He looked down at her for several minutes longer, then went $ack into the living room. Hockstetter himself came $ustling in ten minutes later. &,ower failure,& he said. &Storm. 'am electronic locks, all +ammed. Is she * & &She&ll $e fine if you kee( your goddam voice down,& 8ain$ird said in a low voice. His huge hands (istoned out, caught Hockstetter $y the la(els of his white la$ coat, and.+erked him forward, so that Hockstetter&s suddenly terrified face was less than an inch from his own. &And if you ever $ehave as if you know me in here again, if you ever $ehave toward me as if I am anything $ut a '*clearance orderly, I&ll kill you, and then I&ll cut you into (ieces, and uisinart you, and turn you into catmeat.& Hockstetter s(luttered im(otently. S(it $u$$led at the corner of his li(s. &'o you understand) I&ll kill you.& He shook Hockstetter twice. &I*I*I un*un*understand.& &Then let&s get out of here,& 8ain$ird said, and shoved Hockstetter, (ale and wideeyed, out into the corridor. He took one last look around and then wheeled his cart out and closed the selflocking door $ehind him. In the $edroom, harlie sle(t on, more (eacefully than she had in months. ,erha(s years.. Small 6ires,.ig .rother % The violent storm (assed. Time (assed three weeks of it. Summer, humid and over $earing, still held sway over eastern <irginia, $ut school was $ack in session and lum$ering yellow school $uses trundled u( and down the well*ke(t rural roads in the Longmont area. In not*too*distant Washington, '. ., another year of legislation, rumor, and innuendo was $eginning, marked with the usual freak*show atmos(here engendered $y national television, (lanned information leaks, and overmastering clouds of $our$on fumes. !one of that made much of an im(ression in the cool, environmentally controlled rooms of the two ante$ellum houses and the corridors and levels honeycom$ed $eneath. The only correlative might have $een that harlie 1c2ee was also going to school. It was Hockstetter&s idea that she $e tutored, and harlie had $alked, $ut John 8ain$ird had talked her into it. &What hurt&s it gonna do)& he asked. &There&s no sense in a smart girl like you getting way $ehind. Shit * e-cuse me, harlie * $ut I wish to 2od sometimes that I had more than an eighth*grade education. I wouldn&t $e mo((in floors now * you can $et your $oots on that. .esides, it&ll (ass the time.& So she had done it * for John. The tutors came; the young man who taught 4nglish, the older woman who taught mathematics, the younger woman with the thick glasses who $egan to teach her 6rench, the man in the wheelchair who taught science. She listened to them, and she su((osed she learned, $ut she had done it for John. 3n three occasions John had risked his +o$ to (ass her father notes, and she felt guilty a$out that and hence was more willing to do what she thought would (lease John. And he had $rought her news of her dad * that he was well, that he was relieved to know harlie was well too, and that he was coo(erating with their tests. This had distressed her
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a little, $ut she was now old enough to understand * a little $it, anyway * that what was $est for her might not always $e $est for her father. And lately she had $egun to wonder more and more if John might know $est a$out what was right for her. In his earnest, funny way 9he was always swearing and then a(ologi=ing for it, which made her giggle:, he was very (ersuasive. He had not said anything a$out making fires for almost ten days after the $lackout. Whenever they talked of these things, they did it in the kitchen, where he said there were no &$ugs,& and they always talked in low voices. 3n that day he had said, &"ou thought any more a$out that fire $usiness, harlie)& He always called her harlie now instead of &kid.& She had asked him to. She $egan to trem$le. Just thinking a$out making fires had this effect on her since the 1anders farm. She got cold and tense and trem$ly/ on Hockstetter&s re(orts this was called a &mild (ho$ic reaction.& &I told you,& she said. &I can&t do that. I won&t do that.& &!ow, can&t and won&t aren&t the same thing,& John said. He was washing the floor *.$ut very slowly, so he could talk to her. His mo( swished. He talked the way cons talked in (rison, $arely moving his li(s. harlie didn&t re(ly. &I +ust had a cou(le of thoughts on this,& he said. &.ut if you don&t want to hear them * if your head&s really set * I&ll +ust shut u(.& &!o, that&s okay,& harlie said (olitely, $ut she did really wish he would shut u(, not talk a$out it, not even think a$out it, $ecause it made her feel $ad. .ut John had done so much for her . . . and she des(erately didn&t want to offend him or hurt his feelings. She needed a friend; &Well, I was +ust thinking that they must know how it got out of control at that farm,& he said. &They&d (ro$a$ly $e really careful. I don&t think they&d $e a(t to test you in a room full of (a(er and oily rags, do .you)& &!o, $ut * & He raised one hand a little way off his mo(. &Hear me out, hear me out.& &3kay.& &And they sure know that was the only time you caused a real * what&s it) * a conflagration. Small fires, harlie. That&s the ticket. Small fires. And if something did ha((en * which I dou$t, cause I think you got $etter control over yourself than you think you do * $ut say something did ha((en. Who they gonna $lame, huh) They gonna $lame you) After the fuckheads s(ent half a year twisting your arm to do it) 3h hell, I&m sorry.& The things he was saying scared her, $ut still she had to (ut her hands to her mouth and giggle at the woe$egone e-(ression on his face. John smiled a little too, then shrugged. &The other thing I was thinkin is that you can&t learn to control something unless you (ractice it and (ractice it.& &I don&t care if I ever control it or not, $ecause I&m +ust not going to do it.& &1ay$e or may$e not,& John said stu$$ornly, wringing out his mo(. He stood it in the corner, then dum(ed his soa(y water down the sink. He $egan to run a $ucket of fresh to rinse with. &"ou might get sur(rised into using it.& &!o, I don&t think so.& &3r su((ose you got a $ad fever sometime. 6rom the flu or the crou( or, hell, I dunno, some kind of infection.& This was one of the few (rofita$le lines Hockstetter had given him to (ursue. &"ou ever have your a((endi- out, harlie)& &!o*ooo . . .& John $egan to rinse the floor. &1y $rother had his out, $ut it went $ust first and he almost died. That was cause we were reservation Indians and no$ody gave a * no$ody cared much if we lived or died. He got a high fever, a hundred and five, I guess, and he went ravin right off his head, sayin horri$le curses and talkin to (eo(le who weren&t there. 'o you know he thought our father was the Angel of 'eath or somethin, come to carry him off, and he tried to stick im with a knife that was on his $edside ta$le there) I told you this story, didn&t I)& &!o,& harlie said, whis(ering now not to kee( from $eing overheard $ut out of horrified fascination. &8eally)& &8eally,& John affirmed. He s5uee=ed the mo( out again. &It wasn&t his fault. It was the fever that did it. ,eo(le are a(t to say or do anything when they&re delirious. Anything.& harlie understood what he was saying and felt a sinking fear. Here was something she.had never even considered. &.ut if you had control of this (yro*whatsis . . .& &How could I have control of it if I was delirious)& &Just $ecause you do.& 8ain$ird went $ack to Wanless&s original meta(hor, the one that had so disgusted a( almost a year ago now. &It&s like toilet*training, harlie. 3nce you get hold of your $owels and $ladder, you&re in control for good. 'elirious (eo(le sometimes get their $eds all wet from sweat, $ut they rarely (iss the $ed.& Hockstetter had (ointed out that this was not invaria$ly true, $ut harlie wouldn&t know that. &Well, anyway, all I mean is that if you got control, don&t you see, you wouldn&t have to worry a$out this anymore. "ou&d have it licked. .ut to get control you have to (ractice and (ractice. The same way you learned to tie your shoes, or to make your letters in kinnygarden.& &I . . . I +ust don&t want to make fires7 And I won&t7 I won&t7& &There, I went and u(set you,& John said, distressed. &I sure didn&t mean to do that. I&m sorry, harlie. I won&t say no more. 1e and my $ig fat mouth.& .ut the ne-t time she $rought it u( herself. It was three or four days later, and she had thought over the things he had said very carefully . . . and she $elieved that she had (ut her finger on the one flaw. &It would +ust
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never end,& she said. &They&d always want more and more and more. If you only knew the way they chased us, they never * give u(. 3nce I started they&d want $igger fires and then even $igger ones and then $onfires and then . . . I don&t know . . . $ut I&m afraid.& He admired her again. She had an intuition and a native wit that was incredi$ly shar(. He wondered what Hockstetter would think when he, 8ain$ird, told him that harlie 1c2ee had an e-tremely good idea what their to(*secret master (lan was. All of their re(orts on harlie theori=ed that (yrokinesis was only the center(iece of many related (sionic talents, and 8ain$ird $elieved that her intuition was one of them. Her father had told them again and again that harlie had known Al Steinowit= and the others were coming u( to the 1anders farm even $efore they had arrived. That was a scary thought. If she should ever get one of her funny intuitions a$out his authenticity . . . well, they said hell had no fury like a woman scorned, and if half of what he $elieved a$out harlie was true, then she was (erfectly ca(a$le of manufacturing hell, or a reasona$le facsimile. He might suddenly find himself getting very hot. It added a certain s(ice to the (roceedings . . . a s(ice that had $een missing for too long. & harlie,& he said, &I&m not sayin you should do any of these things for free.& She looked at him, (u==led. John sighed. &I don&t hardly know how to (ut it to you,& he said. &I guess I love you a little. "ou&re like the daughter I never had. And the way they&re kee(ing you coo(ed u( here, not letting you see your daddy and all, never getting to go out, missing all the things other little girls have . . . it +ust a$out makes me sick.& !ow he allowed his good eye to $la=e out at her, scaring her a little. &"ou could get all kinds of things +ust $y going along with them . . . and attaching a few strings.& &Strings,& harlie said, utterly mystified. &"eah7 "ou could get them to let you go outside in the sun, I $et. 1ay$e even into Longmont to sho( for things. "ou could get out of this goddam $o- and into a regular.house. See other kids. And * & &And see my father)& &Sure, that, too.& .ut that was one thing that was never going to ha((en, $ecause if the two of them (ut their information together they would reali=e that John the 6riendly 3rderly was +ust too good to $e true. 8ain$ird had never (assed along a single message to Andy 1c2ee. Hockstetter thought it would $e running a risk for no gain, and 8ain$ird, who thought Hockstetter a total $leeding asshole a$out most things, agreed. It was one thing to fool an eight*year*old kid with fairy stories a$out there $eing no $ugs in the kitchen and a$out how they could talk in low voices and riot $e overheard, $ut it would $e 5uite another thing to fool the girl&s father with the same fairy story, even though he was hooked through the $ag and $ack. 1c2ee might not $e hooked enough to miss the fact that they were now doing little more than (laying !ice 2uy and 1ean 2uy with harlie, a techni5ue (olice de(artments have used to crack criminals for hundreds of years. So he maintained the fiction that he was taking her messages to Andy +ust as he was maintaining so many other fictions. It was true that he saw Andy 5uite often, $ut he saw him only on the T< monitors. It was true that Andy was coo(erating with their tests, $ut it was also true that he was ti((ed over, una$le to (ush a kid into eating a ,o(sicle. He had turned into a $ig fat =ero, concerned only with what was on the tu$e and when his ne-t (ill was going to arrive, and he never asked to see his daughter anymore. 1eeting her father face to face and seeing what they had done to him might stiffen her resistance all over again, and he was very close to $reaking her now/ she wanted to $e convinced now. !o, all things were negotia$le e-ce(t that. harlie 1c2ee was never going to see her father again. .efore too long, 8ain$ird surmised, a( would have 1c2ee on a Sho( (lane to the 1aui com(ound. .ut the girl didn&t need to know that, either. &"ou really think they&d let me see him)& &!o 5uestion a$out it,& he res(onded easily. &!ot at first, of course/ he&s their ace with you, and they know it. .ut if you went to a certain (oint and then said you were going to cut them off unless they let you see him * & He let it dangle there. The $ait was out, a $ig s(arkling lure dragged through the water. It was full of hooks and not good to eat anyway, $ut that was something else this tough little chick didn&t know. She looked at him thoughtfully. !o more was said a$out it. That day. !ow, a$out a week later, 8ain$ird a$ru(tly reversed his field. He did this for no concrete reason, $ut his own intuition told him he could get no further $y advocacy. It was time to $eg, as .r&er 8a$$it had $egged .r&er 6o- not to $e thrown into that $riar (atch. &"ou remem$er what we was talkin a$out)& He o(ened the conversation. He was wa-ing the kitchen floor. She was (retending to linger over her selection of a snack from the fridge. 3ne clean, (ink foot was cocked $ehind the other so he could see the sole * a (ose that he found curiously evocative of mid*childhood. It was somehow (re*erotic, almost mystic. His heart went out to her again. !ow she looked $ack over her shoulder at him dou$tfully. Her hair, done u( in a (onytail, lay over one shoulder. &"es,& she said, &I remem$er.& &Well, I $een thinkin, and I started to ask myself what makes me an e-(ert on givin advice,& he said. &I can&t even float a thousand*dollar $ank loan for a car.& , &3h, John, that doesn&t mean anything * &.&"es it does. If I knew something, I&d $e one of those guys like that Hockstetter. ollege*educated.& With great disdain she re(lied, &1y daddy says any fool can $uy a college education somewhere.& In his heart, he re+oiced. ? Three days after that, the fish swallowed the lure. harlie told him that she had decided to let them make their tests. She would $e
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careful, she said. And she would make them $e careful, if they didn&t know how. Her face was thin and (inched and (ale. &'on&t you do it,& John said, &unless you&ve thought it all out.& &I&ve tried,& she whis(ered. &Are you doing it for them)& &!o7& &2ood7 Are you doing it for you)& &"es. 6or me. And for my father.& &All right,& he said. &And harlie * make them (lay it your way. >nderstand me) "ou&ve shown them how tough you can $e. 'on&t let them see a weak streak now. If they see it, they&ll use it. ,lay tough. "ou know what I mean)& &I . . . think so.& &They get something, you get something. 4very time. !o free$ies.& His shoulders slum(ed a $it. The fire went out of his eye. She hated to see him this way, looking de(ressed and defeated. &'on&t let them treat you like they treated me. I gave my country four years of my life and one eye. 3ne of those years I s(ent in a hole in the ground eating $ugs and running a fever and smelling my own shit all the time and (icking lice out of my hair. And when I got out they said thanks a lot, John, and (ut a mo( in my hand. They stole from me, harlie. 2et it) 'on&t let them do that to you.& &I get it,& she said solemnly. He $rightened a little, then smiled. &So when&s the $ig day)& &I&m seeing 'r. Hockstetter tomorrow. I&ll tell him I&ve decided to coo(erate , . . a little. And I&ll . . . I&ll tell him what I want.& &Well, +ust don&t ask for too much at first. It&s +ust like the carny at the midway, harlie. "ou got to show em some flash $efore you take their cash.& She nodded. &.ut you show them who&s in the saddle, right) Show them who&s $oss.& &8ight.& He smiled more $roadly. &2ood kid7& he said. H Hockstetter was furious. &What the hell sort of game are you (laying)& he shouted at 8ain$ird. They were in. a(&s office. He dared to shout, 8ain$ird thought, $ecause a( was here to (lay referee. Then he took a second look at Hockstetter&s hot $lue eyes, his flushed cheeks, his white knuckles, and admitted that he was (ro$a$ly wrong. He had dared to make his way through the gates and into Hockstetter&s sacred garden of (rivilege. The shaking*out 8ain$ird had administered after the $lackout ended was one thing/ Hockstetter had la(sed dangerously and had known it. This was something else altogether. He thought. 8ain$ird only stared at Hockstetter. &"ou&ve carefully set it u( around an im(ossi$ility7 "ou know damned well she isn&t going to see her father7 EThey get something, you get something,&& Hockstetter mimicked furiously. &"ou fool7& 8ain$ird continued to stare at Hockstetter. &'on&t call me a fool again,& he said in a (erfectly neutral voice. Hockstetter flinched . . . $ut only a little. &,lease, gentlemen,& a( said wearily. &,lease.& There was a ta(e recorder on his desk. They had +ust finished listening to the conversation 8ain$ird had had with harlie that morning. &A((arently 'r. Hockstetter had missed the (oint that he and his team are finally going to get something,& 8ain$ird said. &Which will im(rove their store of (ractical knowledge $y one hundred (ercent, if my mathematics are correct.& &As the result of a totally unforeseen accident,& Hockstetter said sullenly. &An accident you (eo(le were too shortsighted to manufacture for yourselves,& 8ain$ird countered. &Too $usy (laying with your rats, may$e.& &2entlemen, that&s enough7& a( said. &We&re not here to indulge in a lot of recriminations/ that is not the (ur(ose of this meeting.& He looked at Hockstetter. &"ou&re going to get to (lay $all,& he said. &I must say you show remarka$ly little gratitude.& Hockstetter muttered. a( looked at 8ain$ird. &All the same, I also think you took your role of amicus curiae a little $it too far in the end.& &'o you think so) Then you still don&t understand.& He looked from a( to Hockstetter and then $ack to a( again. &I think,&$oth of you have shown an almost (araly=ing lack of understanding. "ou&ve got two child (sychiatrists at your dis(osal, and if they are an accurate re(resentation of the cali$er of that field, there are a lot of distur$ed kids out there who have got $ig*time trou$le.& &4asy to say,& Hockstetter said. &This * & &"ou +ust don&t understand how smart she is,& 8ain$ird cut him off; &"ou don&t understand how . . . how ade(t she is at seeing the causes and effects of things. Working with her is like (icking your way through a minefield. I (ointed out the carrot*and stick idea to her $ecause she would have thought of it herself. .y thinking of it for her, I&ve shored u( the trust she has in me . . . in effect, turned a disadvantage into an advantage.& Hockstetter o(ened his mouth. a( held u( one hand and then turned to 8ain$ird. He s(oke in a soft, (lacatory tone that he used with no one else . . . $ut then, no one else was John 8ain$ird. &That doesn&t alter the fact that you seem to have limited how far Hockstetter and his (eo(le can go. Sooner or later she&s going to understand that her ultimate re5uest * to see her father * is not going to $e granted. We&re all in agreement that to allow that might close off her usefulness to us forever.& &8ight on,& Hockstetter said. &And if she&s as shar( as you say,& a( said, &she&s a(t to make the ungranta$le re5uest.sooner rather than later.& &She&ll make it,& 8ain$ird agreed, &and that will end it. 6or one thing, she&d reali=e as
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soon as she saw him that I was lying all along a$out his condition. That would lead her to the conclusion that I had $een shilling for you guys all along. So it $ecomes entirely a 5uestion of how long you can kee( her going.& 8ain$ird leaned forward. &A cou(le of (oints. 6irst, you&ve $oth got to get used to the idea that she&s sim(ly not going to light fires for you ad infinitum. She&s a human $eing, a little girl who wants to see her father. She&s not a la$ rat.& &We&ve already * & Hockstetter $egan im(atiently. &!o. !o, you haven&t. It goes $ack to the very $asis of the reward system in e-(erimentation. The carrot and the stick. .y lighting fires, harlie thinks she&s holding the carrot out to you and that she will eventually lead you * and herself * to her father. .ut we know differently. In truth, her father is the carrot, and we are leading her. !ow a mule will (low the whole south forty trying to get that carrot dangling in front of his eyes, $ecause a mule is stu(id. .ut this little girl isn&t.& He looked at a( and Hockstetter. &I kee( saying that. It is like (ounding a nail into oak*oak of the first cutting. Hard going, don&t you know/ you $oth seem to kee( forgetting. Sooner or later she&s going to wise u( and tell you to stick it. .ecause she isn&t a mule. 3r a white la$ rat.& And you want her to 5uit, a( thought with slow loathing. "ou want her to 5uit so you can kill her. &So you start with that one $asic fact,& 8ain$ird continued. &That&s 2o. Then you start thinking of ways to (rolong her coo(eration as long as (ossi$le. Then, when it&s over, you write your re(ort. If you got enough data, you get rewarded with a $ig cash a((ro(riation. "ou get to eat the carrot. Then you can start in+ecting a $unch of (oor, ignorant slo$s with your witch&s $rew all over again.& &"ou&re $eing insulting,& Hockstetter said in a shaking voice. &It $eats the terminal stu(ids,& 8ain$ird answered. &How do you (ro(ose to (rolong her coo(eration)& &"ou&ll get some mileage out of her +ust $y granting small (rivileges,& 8ain$ird said. &A walk on the lawn. 3r . . . every little girl loves horses. I&ll $et you. could get half a do=en fires out of her +ust $y having a groom lead her around the $ridle (aths on one of those sta$le nags. That ought to $e enough to kee( a do=en (a(er (ushers like Hockstetter dancing on the head of a (in for five years.& Hockstetter (ushed $ack from the ta$le. &I don&t have to sit here and listen to this.& &Sit down and shut u(,& a( said. Hot $lood slammed into Hockstetter&s face and he looked ready to fight/ it left as suddenly as it had come and he looked ready to cry. Then he sat down again. &"ou let her go into town and sho(,& 8ain$ird said. &1ay$e you arrange for her to go to Seven 6lags over 2eorgia and ride the roller*coaster. 1ay$e even with her good friend John the orderly.& &"ou seriously think +ust those things * & a( $egan. &!o, I don&t. !ot for long. Sooner or later it will get $ack to her father. .ut she&s only human. She wants, things for herself as well. She&ll go 5uite aways down the road you want her to go down +ust $y rationali=ing it to herself, telling herself she&s showing you.the flash $efore gra$$ing the cash. .ut eventually it&s going to get $ack to dear old 'ads, yes. She&s no sellout, that one. She&s tough.& &And that&s the end of the trolley*car ride,& a( said thoughtfully. &4very$ody out. The (ro+ect ends. This (hase of it, anyway.& In many ways, the (ros(ect of an end in sight relieved him tremendously. &!ot right there, no,& 8ain$ird said, smiling his mirthless smile. &We have one more card u( our sleeve. 3ne more very large carrot when the smaller ones (lay out. !ot her father * not the grand (ri=e * $ut something that will kee( her going yet a while longer.& &And what would that $e)& Hockstetter asked. &"ou figure it out,& 8ain$ird said, still smiling, and said no more. a( might, in s(ite of how far he had come unraveled over the last half year or so. He had more smarts on half (ower than most of his em(loyees 9and all the (retenders to his throne: had on full (ower. As for Hockstetter, he would never see it. Hockstetter had risen several floors (ast his level of incom(etency, a feat more (ossi$le in the federal $ureaucracy than elsewhere. Hockstetter would have trou$le following his nose to a shit*and cream*cheese sandwich. !ot that it mattered if any of them figured out what the final carrot 9the 2ame arrot, one might say: in this little contest was/ the results would still $e the same. It was going to (ut him comforta$ly in the driver&s seat one way or the other. He might have asked them; Who do you think her father is now that her father isn&t there) Let them figure it out for themselves. If they could. John 8ain$ird went on smiling. B Andy 1c2ee sat in front of his television set. The little am$er Home .o- 3ffice (ilot light glowed in the s5uare gadget on to( of the T<. 3n the screen, 8ichard 'reyfuss was trying to $uild the 'evil&s .utte in his living room. Andy watched with a calm and va(id e-(ression of (leasure. Inside he was $oiling with nervousness. Today was the day. 6or Andy, the three weeks since the $lackout had $een a (eriod of almost un$eara$le tension and strain interwoven with $right threads of guilty e-hilaration. He could understand simultaneously how the 8ussian 02. could ins(ire such terror and how 2eorge 3rwell&s Winston Smith must have en+oyed his $rief (eriod of cra=y, furtive re$ellion. He had a secret again. It gnawed and worked in him, as all grave secrets do within the minds of their kee(ers, $ut it also made him feel whole and (otent again. He was (utting one over on them. 2od knew how long he would $e a$le to continue or if it would come to anything, $ut right now he was doing it.
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It was almost ten in the morning and ,ynchot, that eternally grinning man, was coming at ten. They would $e going for a walk in the garden to &discuss his (rogress.& Andy intended to (ush him . . or to at least try. He might have made the effort $efore this, e-ce(t for the T< monitors and the endless $ugging devices. And the wait had given him time to think out his line of attack and (ro$e it again and again for weak s(ots. He had, in fact, rewritten (arts of the scenario in his mind many times. At night, lying in $ed in the dark/ he had thought over and over again; .ig .rother is watching. Just kee( telling yourself that, kee( it foremost in your mind. They&ve got you.locked u( right in the fore$rain of .ig .rother, and if you really e-(ect to hel( harlie, you&ve got to kee( on fooling them. He was slee(ing less than he ever had in his life, mostly $ecause he was terrified of talking in his slee(. Some nights he lay wakeful for hours, afraid even to toss and turn in case they should wonder why a drugged man should $e so restless. And when he did slee( it was thin, shot with strange dreams 9often the Long John Silver figure, the one*eyed (irate with the (egleg, recurred in these: and easily $roken. Sli((ing the (ills was the easiest (art, $ecause they $elieved he wanted them. The (ills came four times a day now, and there had $een no more tests since the $lackout. He $elieved they had given u(, and that was what ,ynchot wanted to tell him today on his walk. Sometimes he would cough the (ills out of his mouth into his cu((ed hand and (ut them in food scra(s he would later scra(e down the gar$age dis(osal. 1ore went down the toilet. Still others he had (retended to take with ginger ale. He s(at the (ills into the half*em(ty cans to dissolve and then let them stand, as if forgotten. Later he would turn them down the sink. 2od knew he was no (rofessional at this, and (resuma$ly the (eo(le who were monitoring him were. .ut he didn&t think they were monitoring him very closely anymore. If they were, he would $e caught. That was all. 'reyfuss and the woman whose son had $een taken for a ride $y the saucer (eo(le were scaling the side of 'evil&s .utte when the $u==er that marked the $reaking of the door circuit went off $riefly. Andy didn&t let himself +um(. This is it, he told himself again. Herman ,ynchot came into the living room. He was shorter than Andy $ut very slender/ there was something a$out him that had always struck Andy as slightly effeminate, although it was nothing you could (ut your finger on. Today he was looking e-tremely reet and com(leat in a thin gray turtleneck sweater and a summerweight +acket. And of course he was grinning. &2ood morning, Andy,& he said. &3h, &Andy said, and then (aused, as if to think. &Hello, 'r. ,ynchot.& &'o you mind if I turn this off) We ought to go for our walk, you know.& &3h.& Andy&s $row furrowed, then cleared. &Sure. I&ve seen it three or four times already. .ut I like the ending. It&s (retty. The >63s take him away, you know. To the stars.& &8eally,& ,ynchot said, and turned off the T<. &Shall we go)& &Where)& Andy asked. &3ur walk,& Herman ,ynchot said (atiently. &8emem$er)& &3h,& Andy said. &Sure.& He got u(. I The hall outside Andy&s room was wide and tile*floored. The lighting was muted and indirect. Somewhere not far away was a communications or com(uter center/ (eo(le strolled in with key(unch cards, out with swatches of (rintouts, and there was the hum of light machinery..A young man in an off*the*rack s(ort coat * the essence of government agent * lounged outside the door of Andy&s a(artment. There was a $ulge under his arm. The agent was a (art of the standard o(erating (rocedure, $ut as he and ,ynchot strolled, he would fall $ehind them, watching $ut out of earshot. Andy thought he would $e no (ro$lem. The agent fell in $ehind them now as he and ,ynchot strolled to the elevator. Andy&s heart$eat was now so heavy it felt as if it were shaking his entire ri$cage. .ut without seeming to, he was watching everything closely. There were (erha(s a do=en unmarked doors. Some of them he had seen standing o(en on other walks u( this corridor * a small, s(eciali=ed li$rary of some kind, a (hotoco(ying room in another * $ut a$out many of them he sim(ly had no idea. harlie might $e $ehind any one of them right now . . . or in some other (art of the installation entirely. They got into the elevator, which was $ig enough to accommodate a hos(ital gurney. ,ynchot (roduced his keys, twisted one of them in the keyway, and (ushed one of the unmarked $uttons. The doors closed and the elevator rose smoothly. The Sho( agent lounged at the $ack of the car. Andy stood with his hands in the (ockets of his Lee 8iders, a slight, va(id smile on his face. The elevator door o(ened on what had once $een a $allroom. The floor was (olished oak, (egged together. Across the wide e-(anse of the room, a s(iral staircase made a graceful dou$le twist on its way to the u((er levels. To the left, 6rench doors gave on to a sunny terrace and the rock garden $eyond it. 6rom the right, where heavy oak doors stood half o(en, came the clacking sound of a ty(ing (ool, (utting out that day&s two $ales of (a(erwork. And from everywhere came the smell of fresh flowers. ,ynchot led the way across the sunny $allroom, and as always Andy commented on the (egged together floor as if he had never noticed it $efore. They went through the 6rench doors with their Sho(*shadow $ehind them. It was very warm, very humid. .ees $u==ed la=ily through the air. .eyond the rock garden were hydrangea, forsythia, and rhododendron $ushes. There was the sound of riding lawnmowers making their eternal rounds. Andy turned his face u( to the sun with a gratitude that wasn&t feigned.
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&How are you feeling, Andy)& ,ynchot asked. &2ood. 2ood.& &"ou know, you&ve $een here almost half a year now,& ,ynchot said in an isn&t*it*ama=ing* how*the*time*flies*when*you&re*having*a*good*time tone of mild sur(rise. They turned right, onto one of the graveled (aths. The smell of honeysuckle and sweet sassafras hung in the still air. 3n the other side of the duck(ond, near the other house, two horses cantered la=ily along. &That long,& Andy said. &"es, it is a long time,& ,ynchot said, grinning. &And we&ve decided that your (ower has . . . diminished, Andy. In fact, you know we&ve had no a((recia$le results at all.& &Well, you kee( me drugged all the time,& Andy said re(roachfully. &"ou can&t e-(ect me to do my $est if I&m stoned.& ,ynchot cleared his throat $ut did not (oint out that Andy had $een totally clean for the first three series of tests and all three had $een fruitless. &I mean, I&ve done my $est, 'r. ,ynchot. I&ve tried.& &"es, yes. 3f course you have. And we thinkthat is, I think * that you deserve a rest. !ow, the Sho( has a small com(ound on 1aui, in the Hawaii chain, Andy. And I have a.si-*month re(ort to write very soon. How would you like it& * ,ynchot&s grin $roadened into a game*show host&s leer and his voice took on the tones of a man a$out to offer a child an incredi$le treat * &how would you like it if I recommended that you $e sent there for the immediate future)& And the immediate future might $e two years, Andy thought. 1ay$e five. They would want to kee( an eye on him in case the mental*domination a$ility recurred, and may$e as an ace in the hole in case some unforeseen difficulty with harlie cro((ed u(. .ut in the end, he had no dou$t that there would $e an accident or an overdose or a &suicide.& In 3rwell&s (arlance, he would $ecome an un(erson. &Would I still get my medication)& Andy asked. &3h, of course,& ,ynchot said. &Hawaii . . .& Andy said dreamily. Then he looked around at ,ynchot with what he ho(ed was an e-(ression of rather stu(id cunning. &,ro$a$ly 'r. Hockstetter won&t let me go. 'r. Hockstetter doesn&t like me. I can tell.& &3h, he does,& ,ynchot assured him. &He does like you, Andy. And in any case, you&re my $a$y, not 'r. Hockstetter&s. I assure you, he&ll go along with what I advise.& &.ut you haven&t written your memorandum on the su$+ect yet,& Andy said. &!o, I thought I&d talk to you first. .ut, really, Hockstetter&s a((roval is +ust a formality.& &3ne more series of tests might $e wise,& Andy said, and (ushed out lightly at ,ynchot. &Just for safety&s sake.& ,ynchot&s eyes suddenly fluttered in a strange way. His grin faltered, $ecame (u==led, and then faded altogether. !ow ,ynchot was the one who looked drugged, and the thought gave Andy a vicious kind of satisfaction. .ees droned in the flowers. The scent of new*cut grass, heavy and cloying, hung in the air. &When you write your re(ort, suggest one more series of tests,& Andy re(eated. ,ynchot&s eyes cleared. His grin came s(lendidly $ack. &3f course, this Hawaii thing is +ust $etween us for the time $eing,& he said. &When I write my re(ort, I will $e suggesting one more series of tests. I think it might $e wise. Just for safety&s sake, you know.& &.ut after that I might go to Hawaii)& &"es,& ,ynchot said. &After that.& &And another series of tests might take three months or so)& &"es, a$out three months.& ,ynchot $eamed on Andy as if he were a (ri=e (u(il. They were nearing the (ond now. 'ucks sailed la=ily across its mirror surface. The two men (aused $y it. .ehind them, the young man in the s(ort coat was watching a middle*aged man and woman cantering along side $y side on the far side of the (ond. Their reflections were $roken only $y the long, smooth glide of one of the white ducks. Andy thought the cou(le looked eerily like an ad for mail*order insurance, the kind of ad that&s always falling out of your Sunday (a(er and into your la( * or your coffee. There was a small (ulse of (ain in his head. !ot $ad at all. .ut in his nervousness he had come very close to (ushing ,ynchot much harder than he had to, and the young man might have noticed the results of that. He didn&t seem to $e watching them, $ut Andy wasn&t fooled. &Tell me a little a$out the roads and the countryside around here,& he said 5uietly to ,ynchot, and (ushed out lightly again. He knew from various snatches of conversation that they were not terri$ly far from Washington, '. ., $ut nowhere as close as the IA&s.$ase of o(erations in Langley. .eyond that he knew nothing. &<ery (retty here,& ,ynchot said dreamily, &since they&ve filled the holes.& &"es, it is nice,& Andy said, and la(sed into silence. Sometimes a (ush triggered an almost hy(notic trace memory in the (erson $eing (ushedusually through some o$scure association * and it was unwise to interru(t whatever was going on. It could set u( an echo effect, and the echo would $ecome a ricochet, and the ricochet could lead to . . . well, to almost anything. It had ha((ened to one of his Walter 1itty $usinessmen, and it had scared the $e+esus out of Andy. It had turned out okay, $ut if friend ,ynchot suddenly got a case of the screaming horrors, it would $e anything $ut okay. &1y wife loves that thing,& ,ynchot said in that same dreamy voice. &What&s that)& Andy asked. &That she loves)& &Her new gar$age dis(oser. It&s very . . .& He trailed off; &<ery (retty,& Andy suggested. The guy in the s(ort coat had drifted a little closer and Andy felt a fine sweat $reak on his u((er li(. &<ery (retty,& ,ynchot agreed, and looked vaguely out at the (ond.
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The Sho( agent came closer still, and Andy decided he might have to risk another (ush . . . a very small one. ,ynchot was standing $eside him like a T< set with a $lown tu$e. The shadow (icked u( a small chunk of wood and tossed it in the water. It struck lightly and ri((les s(read, shimmering. ,ynchot&s eyes fluttered. &The country is very (retty around here,& ,ynchot said. &@uite hilly, you know. 2ood riding country. 1y wife and I ride here once a week, if we can get away. I guess 'awn&s the closest town going west . . . southwest, actually. ,retty small. 'awn&s on Highway Three*oh*one. 2ether&s the closest town going east.& ;&Is 2ether on a highway)& &!o(e. Just on a little road.& &Where does Highway Three*oh*one go) .esides 'awn)& &Why, all the way u( to '. ., if you go north. 1ost of the way to 8ichmond, if you go south.& Andy wanted to ask a$out harlie now, had (lanned to ask a$out harlie, $ut ,ynchot&s reaction had scared him a little. His association of wife, holes, (retty, and * very strange7 * gar$age dis(oser had $een (eculiar and somehow dis5uieting. It might $e that ,ynchot, although accessi$le, was nevertheless not a good su$+ect. It might $e that ,ynchot was a distur$ed (ersonality of some sort, tightly corseted into an a((earance of normality while 2od knew what forces might $e delicately counter$alanced underneath. ,ushing (eo(le who were mentally unsta$le could lead to all sorts of unforeseen results. If it hadn&t $een for the shadow he might have tried anyway 9after all that had ha((ened to him, he had damn few com(unctions a$out messing with Herman ,ynchot&s head:, $ut now he was afraid to. A (sychiatrist with the (ush might $e a great $oon to mankind . . . $ut Andy 1c2ee was no shrink. 1ay$e it was foolish to assume so much from a single trace*memory reaction/ he had got them $efore from a good many (eo(le and very few of them had freaked out. .ut he didn&t trust ,ynchot. ,ynchot smiled too much. A sudden cold and murderous voice s(oke from dee( inside him, from some well sunk far into his su$conscious; Tell him to go home and commit suicide. Then (ush him. ,ush him hard..He thrust the thought away, horrified and a little sickened. &Well,& ,ynchot said, looking around, grinning. &Shall we returne=*vous)& &Sure,& Andy said. And so he had $egun. .ut he was still in the dark a$out harlie. D I!T48'4,A8T14!TAL 1413 6rom Herman ,ynchot To ,atrick Hockstetter 'ate Se(tem$er %? 8e Andy 1c2ee I&ve $een over all of my notes and most of the ta(es in the last three days, and have s(oken to 1c2ee. There is no essential change in the situation since we last discussed it C#I, $ut for the time $eing I&d like to (ut the Hawaii idea on hold if there is no $ig o$+ection 9as a(tain Hollister himself says, &it&s only money&7:. The fact is, ,at, I $elieve that a final series of tests might $e wise * +ust for safety&s sake. After that we might go ahead and send him to the 1aui com(ound. I $elieve that a final series might take three months or so. ,lease advise $efore I start the necessary (a(erwork. Herm K I!T48'4,A8T14!TAL 1413 6rom ,. H. To Herm ,ynchot 'ate Se(tem$er %H 8e Andy 1c2ee I don&t get it7 The last time we all got together we agreed * you as much as any of us * that 1c2ee was as dead as a used fuse. "ou can only hesitate so long at the $ridge, you know7 If you want to schedule another series of tests * an a$$reviated series, then $e my guest. We&re starting with the girl ne-t week, $ut thanks to a good deal of ine(t interference from a certain source, I think it likely that her coo(eration may not last long. While it does, it might not $e a $ad idea to have her father around . . . as a &fire*e-tinguisher&))) 3h yes * it may $e &only money,& $ut it is the ta-(ayer&s money, and levity on that.su$+ect is rarely encouraged, Herm. 4s(ecially $y a(tain Hollister. 0ee( it in mind. ,lan on having him for D to A weeks at most, unless you get results . . . and if you do, I&ll (ersonally eat your Hush ,u((ies. ,at A &Son*of*a*fucking*$itch,& Herm ,ynchot said aloud as he finished reading this memorandum. He reread the third (aragra(h; here was Hockstetter, Hockstetter who owned a com(letely restored %CIA Thunder$ird, s(anking him a$out money. He crum(led u( the memo and threw it at the waste$asket and leaned $ack in his swivel chair. Two months at most7 He didn&t like that. Three would have $een more like it. He really felt that * >nhidden and mysterious, a vision of the gar$age*dis(osal unit he had installed at home rose in his mind. He didn&t like that, either. The dis(osal unit had somehow got into his mind lately, and he didn&t seem to $e a$le to get it out. It came to the fore (articularly when he tried to deal with the 5uestion of Andy 1c2ee. The dark hole in the centre of
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the sink was guarded $y a ru$$er dia(hragm . . . vaginal, that . He leaned farther $ack in his chair, dreaming. When he came out of it with a start, he was distur$ed to see that almost twenty minutes had gone $y. He drew a memo form toward him and scratched out a note to that dirty $ird Hockstetter, eating the o$ligatory hel(ing of crow a$out his illadvised &it&s only money& comment. He had to restrain himself from re(eating his re5uest for three months 9and in his mind, the image of the dis(oser&s smooth dark hole rose again:. If Hockstetter said two, it was two. .ut if he did get results with 1c2ee, Hockstetter was going to find two si=e*nine Hush ,u((ies sitting on his desk $lotter fifteen minutes later, along with a knife, a fork, and a $ottle of Adol(h&s 1eat Tenderi=er. He finished the note, scrawled Herm across the $ottom, and sat $ack, massaging his tem(les. He had a headache. In high school and in college, Herm ,ynchot had $een a closet transvestite. He liked to dress u( in women&s clothes $ecause he thought they made him look . . . , well, very (retty. His +unior year in college, as a mem$er of 'elta Tau 'elta, he had $een discovered $y two of his fraternity $rothers. The (rice of their silence had $een a ritual humiliation, not much different from the (ledge ha=ing that ,ynchot himself had (artici(ated in with high good humor. At two o&clock in the morning, his discoverers had s(read trash and gar$age from one end of the fraternity kitchen to the other and had forced ,ynchot, dressed only in ladies& (anties, stockings and garter $elt, and a $ra stuffed with toilet (a(er, to clean it all u( and then wash the floor, under constant threat of discovery; all it would have taken was another frat &$rother& wandering down for an early*morning snack. The incident had ended in mutual mastur$ation, which, ,ynchot su((osed, he should have $een grateful for * it was (ro$a$ly the only thing that caused them to really kee( their (romise. .ut he had dro((ed out of the frat, terrified and disgusted with himself * most of all $ecause he had found the entire incident somehow e-citing. He had never.&cross*dressed& since that time. He was not gay. He had a lovely wife and two fine children and that (roved he was not gay. He hadn&t even thought of that humiliating, disgusting incident in years. And yet * The image of the gar$age dis(osal, that smooth $lack hole faced with ru$$er, remained. And his headache was worse. The echo set off $y Andy&s (ush had $egun. It was la=y and slow*moving now/ the image of the dis(osal, cou(led with the idea of $eing very (retty, was still an intermittent thing. .ut it would s(eed u(. .egin to ricochet. >ntil it $ecame un$eara$le. C &!o,& harlie said. &It&s wrong.& And she turned around to march right out of the small room again. Her face was white and strained. There were dark, (ur(lish dashes under her eyes. &Hey, whoa, wait a minute,& Hockstetter said, (utting out his hands. He laughed a little. &What&s wrong, harlie)& &4verything,& she said. &4verything&s wrong.& Hockstetter looked at the room. In one corner, a Sony T< camera had $een set u(. Its cords led through the (ressed*cork wall to a < 8 in the o$servation room ne-t door. 3n the ta$le in the middle of the room was a steel tray loaded with woodchi(s. To the left of this was an electroence(halogra(h dri((ing wires. A young man in a white coat (resided over this. &That&s not much hel(,& Hockstetter said. He was still smiling (aternally, $ut he was mad. "ou didn&t have to $e a mind reader to know that/ you had only to look in his eyes. &"ou don&t listen,& she said shrilly. &!one of you listen e-ce(t * & 9e-ce(t ,+ohn $ut you can&t say that: &Tell us how to fi- it,& Hockstetter said. She would not $e (lacated. &If you listened, you&d know. That steel tray with the little (ieces of wood, that&s all right, $ut that&s the only thing that is. The ta$le&s wood, that wall stuff, that&s fluh*flamma$le . . . and so&s that guy&s clothes.& She (ointed to the technician, who flinched a little. & harlie * & &That camera is, too.& & harlie, that camera&s * & &It&s (lastic and if it gets hot enough it will e-(lode and little (ieces will go everywhere. And there&s no water7 I told you, I have to (ush it at water once it gets started. 1y father and my mother told me so. I have to (ush it at water to (ut it out. 3r . . . or . . .& She $urst into tears. She wanted John. She wanted her father. 1ore than anything, oh, more than anything, she didn&t want to $e here. She had not sle(t at all last night. 6or his (art, Hockstetter looked at her thoughtfully. The tears, the emotional u(set . . . he thought those things made it as clear as anything that she was really (re(ared to go through with it. &All right,& he said. &All right, harlie. "ou tell us what to do and we&ll do it.&.&"ou&re right,& she said. &3r you don&t get nothing.& Hockstetter thought; We&ll get (lenty, you snotty little $itch. As it turned out, he was a$solutely right. %G Late that afternoon they $rought her into a different room. She had fallen aslee( in front of the T< when they $rought her $ack to her a(artment * her $ody was still young enough to enforce its need on her worried, confused mind * and she&d sle(t for nearly si- hours. As a result of that and a ham$urger and fries for lunch, she felt much $etter, more in control of herself.
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She looked carefully at the room for a long time. The tray of woodchi(s was on a metal ta$le. The walls were gray industrial sheet steel, unadorned. Hockstetter said, &The technician there is wearing an as$estos uniform and as$estos sli((ers.& He s(oke down to her, still smiling his (aternal smile. The 442 o(erator looked hot and uncomforta$le. He was wearing a white cloth mask to avoid as(irating any as$estos fi$er. Hockstetter (ointed to a long, s5uare (ane of mirror glass set into the far wall. &That&s one*way glass. 3ur camera is $ehind it. And you see the tu$.& harlie went over to it. It was an old*fashioned clawfoot tu$ and it looked decidedly out of (lace in these stark surroundings. It was full of water. She thought it would do. &All right,& she said. Hockstetter&s smile widened. &6ine.& &3nly you go in the other room there. I don&t want to have to look at you while I do it;& harlie stared at Hockstetter inscruta$ly. &Something might ha((en.& Hockstetter&s (aternal smile faltered a little. %% &She was right, you know,& 8ain$ird said. &If you&d listened to her, you could have got it right the first time.& Hockstetter looked at him and grunted. &.ut you still don&t $elieve it, do you)& Hockstetter, 8ain$ird, and a( were standing in front of the one*way glass. .ehind them the camera (eered into the room and the Sony < 8 hummed almost inaudi$ly. The glass was lightly (olari=ed, making everything in the testing room look faintly $lue, like scenery seen through the window of a 2reyhound $us. The technician was hooking harlie u( to the 442. A T< monitor in the o$servation room re(roduced her $rainwaves. &Look at those al(has,& one of the technicians murmured. &She&s really +acked u(.& &Scared,& 8ain$ird said. &She&s really scared.& &"ou $elieve it, don&t you)& a( asked suddenly. &"ou didn&t at first, $ut now you do.& &"es,& 8ain$ird said. &I $elieve it.& In the other room, the technician ste((ed away from harlie. &8eady in here.&.Hockstetter fli((ed a toggle switch. &2o ahead, harlie. When you&re ready.& harlie glanced toward the one*way glass, and for an eerie moment she seemed to $e looking right into 8ain$ird&s one eye. He looked $ack, smiling faintly. %? harlie 1c2ee looked at the one*way glass and saw nothing save her own reflection . . . $ut the sense of eyes watching her was very strong. She wished John could $e $ack there/ that would have made her feel more at ease. .ut she had no feeling that he was. She looked $ack at the tray of woodchi(s. It wasn&t a (ush/ it was a shove. She thought a$out doing it and was again disgusted and frightened to find herself wanting to do it. She thought a$out doing it the way a hot and hungry (erson might sit in front of a chocolate ice*cream soda and think a$out go$$ling and slur(ing it down. That was okay, $ut first you wanted +ust a moment to . . . to savor it. That wanting made her feel ashamed of herself, and then she shook her head almost angrily. Why shouldn&t I want to do it) If (eo(le are good at things, they always want to do them. Like 1ommy with her dou$le*crostics and 1r. 'ouray down the street in ,ort ity, always making $read. When they had enough at his house, he&d make some for other (eo(le. If you&re good at something, you want to do it . . . Woodchi(s, she thought a little contem(tuously. They should have given me something hard. %H The technician felt it first. He was hot and uncomforta$le and sweaty in the as$estos clothing, and at first he thought that was all it was. Then he saw that the kid&s al(ha waves had taken on the high s(ike rhythm that is the hallmark of e-treme concentration, and also the $rain&s signature of imagination. The sense of heat grew * and suddenly he was scared. %B &Something ha((ening in there,& one of the technicians in the o$servation room said in a high, e-cited voice. &Tem(erature +ust +um(ed ten degrees. Her al(ha (attern looks like the fucking Andes * & &There it goes7& a( e-claimed. &There it goes7& His voice vi$rated with the shrill trium(h of a man who has waited years for the one moment now at hand. %I.She shoved as hard as she could at the tray of woodchi(s. They did not so much $urst into flames as e-(lode. A moment later the tray itself fli((ed over twice, s(raying chunks of $urning wood, and clanged off the wall hard enough to leave a dim(le in the sheet steel. The technician who had $een monitoring at the 442 cried out in fear and made a sudden, cra=y dash for the door. The sound of his cry hurled harlie suddenly $ack in time to the Al$any air(ort. It was the cry of 4ddie 'elgardo, running for the ladies& $athroom with his army*issue shoes in flames. She thought in sudden terror and e-altation, 3h 2od it&s gotten so much stronger7 The steel wall had develo(ed a strange, dark ri((le. The room had $ecome e-(losively hot. In the other room, the digital thermometer, which had gone from seventy degrees to eighty and then (aused, now clim$ed ra(idly (ast ninety to ninetyfour $efore slowing down. harlie threw the firething at the tu$/ she was nearly (anicked now. The water swirled, then $roke into a fury of $u$$les. In a s(ace of five seconds, the contents of the tu$ went from cool to a rolling, steaming $oil.
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The technician had e-ited, leaving the testing room door heedlessly a+ar. In the o$servation room there was a sudden, startled turmoil. Hockstetter was $ellowing. a( was standing ga(e*+awed at the window, watching the tu$ful of water $oil. louds of steam rose from it and the one*way glass $egan to fog over. 3nly 8ain$ird was calm, smiling slightly, hands clas(ed $ehind his $ack. He looked like a teacher whose star (u(il has used difficult (ostulates to solve a (articularly aggravating (ro$lem. 9$ack off.: Screaming in her mind. 9$ack off7 $ack off7 .A 0 3667: And suddenly it was gone. Something disengaged, s(un free for a second or two, and then sim(ly sto((ed. Her concentration $roke u( and let the fire go. She could see the room again and feel the heat she had created $ringing sweat to her skin. In the o$servation room, the thermometer crested at ninety*si- and then dro((ed a degree. The wildly $u$$ling caldron $egan to simmer down * $ut at least half of its contents had $oiled away. In s(ite of the o(en door, the little room was as hot and moist as a steam room. %D Hockstetter was checking his instruments feverishly. His hair, usually com$ed $ack so neatly and tightly that it almost seemed to scream, had now come awry, sticking u( in the $ack. He looked a $it like Alfalfa of The Little 8ascals. &2ot it7& he (anted. &2ot it, we got it all . . . it&s on ta(e . . . the tem(erature gradient . . did you see the water in that tu$ $oil) . . . Jesus7 . . . did we get the audio) . . . we did) . . . my 2od, did you see what she did)& He (assed one of his technicians, whirled $ack, and gra$$ed him roughly $y the front of his smock. &Would you say there was any dou$t that she made that ha((en)& he shouted. The technician, nearly as e-cited as Hockstetter, shook his head. &!o dou$t at all,. hief. !one.& &Holy 2od,& Hockstetter said, whirling away, distracted again. &I would have thought . . . something . . . yes, something . . . $ut that tray . . . flew...& He caught sight of 8ain$ird, who was still standing at the one*way glass with his hands crossed $ehind his $ack, that mild, $emused smile on his face. 6or Hockstetter, old animosities were forgotten. He rushed over to the $ig Indian, gra$$ed his hand, (um(ed it. &We got it,& he told 8ain$ird with savage satisfaction. &We got it all, it would $e good enough to stand u( in court7 8ight u( in the fucking Su(reme ourt7& &"es, you got it,& 8ain$ird agreed mildly. &!ow you $etter send some$ody along to get her.& &Huh)& Hockstetter looked at him $lankly. &Well,& 8ain$ird said, still in his mildest tone, &the guy that was in there may$e had an a((ointment he forgot a$out, $ecause he left in one hell of an ass*$usting rush. He left the door o(en, and your firestarter +ust walked out.& Hockstetter ga(ed at the glass. The steaming effect had got worse, $ut there was no dou$t that the room was em(ty e-ce(t for the tu$, the 442, the overturned steel tray, and the flaming scatter of woodchi(s. &3ne of you men go get her7& Hockstetter cried, turning around. The five or si- men stood $y their instruments and didn&t move. A((arently no one $ut 8ain$ird had noticed that a( had left as soon as the girl had. 8ain$ird grinned at Hockstetter and then raised his eye to include the others, these men whose faces had suddenly gone almost as (ale as their la$ smocks. &Sure,& he said softly. &Which of you wants to go get the little girl)& !o one moved. It was amusing, really/ it occurred to 8ain$ird that this was the way the (oliticians were going to look when they found out it was finally done, that the missiles were really in the air, the $om$s raining down, the woods and cities on fire. It was so amusing he had to laugh . . . and laugh . . . and laugh. %K &They&re so $eautiful,& harlie said softly. &It&s all so $eautiful.& They were standing near the duck(ond, not far from where her father and ,ynchot had stood only a few days (reviously. This day was much cooler than that one had $een, and a few leaves had $egun to show color. A light wind, +ust a little too stiff to $e called a $ree=e, ruled the surface of the (ond. harlie turned her face u( to the sun and closed her eyes, smiling. John 8ain$ird, standing $eside her, had s(ent si- months on stockade duty at am( Stewart in Ari=ona $efore going overseas, and he had seen the same e-(ression on the faces of men coming out after a long hard $ang inside. &Would you like to walk over to the sta$les and look at the horses)& &3h yes, sure,& she said immediately, and then glanced shyly at him. &That is, if you don&t mind.& &1ind) I&m glad to $e outside, too. This is recess for me.& &'id they assign you)&.&!aw,& he said. They $egan to walk along the edge of the (ond toward the sta$les on the far side. &They asked for volunteers. I don&t think they got many, after what ha((ened yesterday.& &It scared them)& harlie asked, +ust a little too sweetly. &I guess it did,& 8ain$ird said, and he was s(eaking nothing $ut the truth. a( had caught u( with harlie as she wandered down the hall and escorted her $ack to her a(artment. The young man who had $olted his (osition at the 442 was now $eing (rocessed for duty in ,anama ity. The staff meeting following the test had $een a nutty affair, with the scientists at $oth their $est and worst, $lue*skying a hundred new ideas on one hand and worrying tiresomely * and considera$ly after the fact * a$out how to control her on the other hand.
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It was suggested that her 5uarters $e fire(roofed, that a full*time guard $e installed, that the drug series $e started on her again. 8ain$ird had listened to as much of this as he could $ear and then ra((ed hard on the edge of the conference ta$le with the $and of the heavy tur5uoise ring he wore. He ra((ed until he had the attention of everyone there. .ecause Hockstetter disliked him 9and (erha(s &hated& would not have $een too strong a word:, his cadre of scientists also disliked him, $ut 8ain$ird&s star had risen in s(ite of that. He had, after all, $een s(ending a good (art of each day with this human $lowtorch. &I suggest,& he had said, rising to his feet and glaring around at them $enignly from the shattered lens of his face, &that we continue e-actly as we have $een. >( until today you have $een (roceeding on the (remise that the girl (ro$a$ly didn&t have the a$ility which you all knew had $een documented two do=en times over, and that if she did have it, it was a small a$ility, and if it wasn&t a small a$ility, she would (ro$a$ly never use it again anyway. !ow you know differently, and you&d like to u(set her all over again.& &That&s not true,& Hockstetter said, annoyed. &That is sim(ly * & &It is true7& 8ain$ird thundered at him, and Hockstetter shrank $ack in his chair. 8ain$ird smiled again at the faces around the ta$le. &!ow. The girl is eating again. She has (ut on ten (ounds and is no longer a scrawny shadow of what she should $e. She is reading, talking, doing (aint*$y the*num$ers kits/ she has asked for a dollhouse, which her friend the orderly has (romised to try and get for her. In short, her frame of mind is $etter than it has $een since she came here. 2entlemen, we are not going to start monkeying around with a fruitful status 5uo, are we)& The man who had $een monitoring the videota(e e5ui(ment earlier had said hesitantly, &.ut what if she sets that little suite of hers on fire)& &If she was going to,& 8ain$ird said 5uietly, &she would have done it already.& To that there had $een no res(onse. !ow, as he and harlie left the edge of the (ond and crossed toward the dark*red sta$les with their fresh (i(ing of white (aint, 8ain$ird laughed out loud. &I guess you did scare them, harlie.& &.ut you&re not scared)& &Why should I $e scared)& 8ain$ird said, and ruffled her hair. &I only turn into a $a$y when it&s dark and I can&t get out.& &3h John, you don&t have to $e ashamed of that.& &If you were going to light me u(,& he said, re(hrasing his comment of the night $efore, &I guess you would&ve $y now.& She stiffened immediately. &I wish you wouldn&t... wouldn&t even say things like that.&.& harlie, I&m sorry. Sometimes my mouth gets ahead of my $rains.& They went into the sta$les, which were dim and fragrant. 'usky sunlight slanted in, making mellow $ars and stri(es in which motes of hay chaff danced with dreamy slowness. A groom was currying the mane of a $lack gelding with a white $la=e on its forehead. harlie sto((ed, looking at the horse with delighted wonder. The groom looked around at her and grinned. &"ou must $e the young miss. They told me to $e on the watch*out for you.& &She&s so $eautiful,& harlie whis(ered. Her hands trem$led to touch that silky coat. 3ne look in the horse&s dark, calm, mellow eyes and she was in love. &Well, it&s a $oy, actually,& the groom said, and ti((ed a wink at 8ain$ird, whom he had never seen $efore and didn&t know from Adam. &After a fashion, that is.& &What&s his name)& &!ecromancer,& the groom said. &Want to (et him)& harlie drew hesitantly near. The horse lowered his head and she stroked him/ after a few moments she s(oke to him. It did not occur to her that she would light another half*do=en fires +ust to ride on him with John $eside her . . . $ut 8ain$ird saw it in her eyes, and he smiled. She looked around at him suddenly and saw the smile, and for a moment the hand she had $een stroking the horse&s mu==le with (aused. There was something in that smile she didn&t like, and she had thought she liked everything a$out John. She got feelings a$out most (eo(le and did not consider this much/ it was (art of her, like her $lue eyes and her dou$le*+ointed thum$. She usually dealt with (eo(le on the $asis of these feelings. She didn&t like Hockstetter, $ecause she felt that he didn&t care for her anymore than he would care for a test tu$e. She was +ust an o$+ect to him. .ut with John, her liking was $ased only on what he did, his kindness to her, and (erha(s (art of it was his disfigured face; she could identify and sym(athi=e with him on that account. After all, why was she here if not $ecause * she was also a freak) "et $eyond that, he was one of those rare (eo(le * like 1r. 8aucher, the delicatessen owner in !ew "ork who often (layed chess with her daddy * who were for some reason com(letely closed to her. 1r. 8aucher was old and wore a hearing aid and had a faded $lue num$er tattooed on his forearm. 3nce harlie had asked her father if that $lue num$er meant anything, and her daddy had told her * after cautioning her never to mention it to 1r. 8aucher * that he would e-(lain it later. .ut he never had. Sometimes 1r. 8aucher would $ring her slices of kiel$asa which she would eat while watching T<. And now, looking at John&s smile, which seemed so strange and somehow dis5uieting, she wondered for the first time, What are you thinking) Then such trifling thoughts were swe(t away $y the wonder of the horse. &John,& she said, &what does E!ecromancer& mean)& &Well,& he said, &so far as I know, it means something like Ewi=ard,& or Esorcerer&.& &Wi=ard. Sorcerer.& She s(oke the words softly, tasting them as she stroked the dark silk of !ecromancer&s mu==le. %A.Walking $ack with her, 8ain$ird said; &"ou ought to ask that Hockstetter to let you ride that horse, if you like him so much.&
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&!o . . . I couldn&t . . .& she said, looking at him wide*eyed and startled. &3h, sure you could,& he said, (ur(osely misunderstanding. &I don&t know much a$out geldings, $ut I know they&re su((osed to $e gentle. He looks awful $ig, $ut I don&t think he&d run away with you, harlie.& &!o * I don&t mean that. They +ust wouldn&t let me.& He sto((ed her $y (utting his hands on her shoulders. & harlie 1c2ee, sometimes you&re really dum$,& he said. &"ou done me a good turn that time the lights went out, harlie, and you ke(t it to yourself. So now you listen to me and I&ll do you one. "ou want to see your father again)& She nodded 5uickly. &Then you want to show them that you mean $usiness. It&s like (oker, harlie. If you ain&t dealing from strength . . . why, you +ust ain&t dealin. 4very time you light a fire for them, for one of their tests, you get something from them.& He gave her shoulders a soft shake; &This is your uncle John talking to you. 'o you hear what I&m sayin)& &'o you really think they&d let me) If I asked)& &If you asked) 1ay$e not. .ut if you told them, yeah. I hear them sometimes. "ou go in to em(ty their waste$askets and ashtrays, they think you&re +ust another (iece of the furniture. That Hockstetter&s +ust a$out wettin his (ants.& &8eally)& She smiled a little. &8eally.& They $egan to walk again. &What a$out you, harlie) I know how scared of it you were $efore. How do you feel a$out it now)& She was a long time answering. And when she did, it was in a more thoughtful and somehow adult tone than 8ain$ird had ever heard from her. &It&s different now,& she said. &It&s a lot stronger. .ut . . . I was more in control of it than I ever was $efore. That day at the farm& * she shivered a little and her voice dro((ed a little * &it +ust . . . +ust got away for a little while. It . . . it went everywhere.& Her eyes darkened. She looked inside memory and saw chickens e-(loding like horri$le living fireworks. &.ut yesterday, when I told it to $ack off&, it did. I said to myself, it&s +ust going to $e a small fire. And it was. It was like I let it out in a single straight line.& &And then you (ulled it $ack into yourself)& &2od, no,& she said, looking at him. &I (ut it into the water. If I (ulled it $ack into myself... I guess I&d $urn u(.& They walked in silence for a while. &!e-t time there has to $e more water.& &.ut you&re not scared now)& &!ot as scared as I was,& she said, making the careful distinction. &When do you think they&ll let me see my dad)& He (ut an arm around her shoulders in rough good comradeshi(. &2ive them enough ro(e, harlie,& he said. %C It $egan to cloud u( that afternoon and $y evening a cold autumn rain had $egun to fall..In one house of a small and very e-clusive su$ur$ near the Sho( com(le- * a su$ur$ called Longmont Hills * ,atrick Hockstetter was in his worksho(, $uilding a model $oat 9the $oats and his restored T*$ird were his only ho$$ies, and there were do=ens of his whalers and frigates and (ackets a$out the house: and thinking a$out harlie 1c2ee. He was in an e-tremely good mood. He felt that if they could get another do=en tests out of her * even another ten * his future would $e assured. He could s(end the rest of his life investigating the (ro(erties of Lot Si- . . . and at a su$stantial raise in (ay. He carefully glued a mi==enmast in (lace and $egan to whistle. In another house in Longmont Hills, Herman ,ynchot was (ulling a (air of his wife&s (anties over a gigantic erection. His eyes were dark and trancelike. His wife was at a Tu((erware (arty. 3ne of his two fine children was at a u$ Scout meeting and the other fine child was at an intramural chess tourney at the +unior high school. ,ynchot carefully hooked one of his wife&s $ras $ehind his $ack. It hung lim(ly on his narrow chest. He looked at himself in the mirror and thought he looked . . . well, very (retty. He walked out into the kitchen, heedless of the unshaded windows. He walked like a man in a dream. He stood $y the sink and looked down into the maw of the newly, installed Waste0ing dis(oser. After a long, thoughtful time, he turned it on. And to the sound of its whirling, gnashing steel teeth, he took himself in hand and mastur$ated. When his orgasm had come and gone, he started and looked around. His eyes were full of $lank terror, the eyes of a man waking from a nightmare. He shut off the gar$age dis(osal and ran for the $edroom, crouching low as he (assed the windows. His head ached and $u==ed. What in the name of 2od was ha((ening to him) In yet a third Longmont Hills house * a house with a hillside view that the likes of Hockstetter and ,ynchot could not ho(e to afford * a( Hollister and John 8ain$ird sat drinking $randy from snifters in the living room. <ivaldi issued from a(&s stereo system. <ivaldi had $een one of his wife&s favorites. ,oor 2eorgia. &I agree with you,& a( said slowly, wondering again why he had invited this man whom he hated and feared into his home. The girl&s (ower was e-traordinary, and he su((osed e-traordinary (ower made for strange $edfellows. &The fact that she mentioned a Ene-t time& in such an offhand way is e-tremely significant.& &"es,& 8ain$ird said. &It a((ears we do indeed have a string to (lay out.& &.ut it won&t last forever.& a( swirled his $randy, then forced himself to meet 8ain$ird&s one glittering eye. &I $elieve I understand how you intend to lengthen that string, even if Hockstetter does not.& &'o you)& &"es,& a( said, (aused a moment, then added. &It&s dangerous to you.& 8ain$ird smiled. &If she finds out what side you&re really on,& a( said, &you stand a good chance of
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finding out what a steak feels like in a microwave oven.& 8ain$ird&s smile lengthened into an unfunny shark&s grin. &And would you shed a $itter tear, a(tain Hollister)& &!o,& a( said. &!o sense lying to you a$out that. .ut for some time now * since $efore she actually went and did it * I&ve felt the ghost of 'r. Wanless drifting around in here. Sometimes as close as my own shoulder.& He looked at 8ain$ird over the rim of his glass. &'o you $elieve in ghosts, 8ain$ird)& &"es. I do.&.&Then you know what I mean. 'uring the last meeting I had with him, he tried to warn me. He made a meta(hor * let me see * John 1ilton at seven, struggling to write his name in letters that were legi$le, and that same human $eing growing u( to write ,aradise Lost. He talked a$out her . . . her (otential for destruction.& &"es,& 8ain$ird said, and his eye gleamed. &He asked me what we&d do if we found we had a little girl who could (rogress from starting fires to causing nuclear e-(losions to cracking the very (lanet o(en. I thought he was funny, irritating, and almost certainly mad.& &.ut now you think he may have $een right.& &Let us say that I find myself wondering sometimes at three in the morning. 'on&t you)& & a(, when the 1anhattan ,ro+ect grou( e-(loded their first atomic device, no one was 5uite sure what would ha((en. There was a school of thought which felt that the chain reaction would never end * that we would have a miniature sun glowing in the desert out there even unto the end of the world.& a( nodded slowly. &The !a=is were also horri$le,& 8ain$ird said. &The Ja(s were horri$le. !ow the 2ermans and the Ja(anese are nice and the 8ussians are horri$le. The 1uslims are horri$le. Who knows who may $ecome horri$le in the future)& &She&s dangerous,& a( said, rising restlessly. &Wanless was right a$out that. She&s a dead end.& &1ay$e.& &Hockstetter says that the (lace where that tray hit the wall was ri((led. It was sheet steel, $ut it ri((led with the heat. The tray itself was twisted entirely out of sha(e. She smelted it. That little girl might have (ut out three thousand degrees of heat for a s(lit second there.& He looked at 8ain$ird, $ut 8ain$ird was looking vaguely around the living room, as if he had lost interest. &What I&m saying is that what you (lan to do is dangerous for all of us, not +ust for you.& &3h yes,& 8ain$ird agreed com(lacently. &There&s a risk. 1ay$e we won&t have to do it. 1ay$e Hockstetter will have what he needs $efore it $ecomes necessary to im(lement . . . uh, (lan ..& &Hockstetter&s a ty(e,& a( said curtly. &He&s an information +unkie. He&ll never have enough. He could test her for two years and still scream we were too hasty when we . . . when we took her away. "ou know it and I know it, so let&s not (lay games.& &We&ll know when it&s time,& 8ain$ird said. &I&ll know.& &And then what will ha((en)& &John the friendly orderly will come in,& 8ain$ird said, smiling a little. &He will greet her, and talk to her, and make her smile. John the friendly orderly will make her feel ha((y $ecause he&s the only one who can. And when John feels she is at the moment of greatest ha((iness, he will strike her across the $ridge of the nose, $reaking it e-(losively and driving $one fragments into her $rain. It will $e 5uick. . . and I will $e looking into her face when it ha((ens.& He smiled * nothing sharklike a$out it this time. The smile was gentle, kind . . . and fatherly. a( drained his $randy. He needed it. He only ho(ed that 8ain$ird would indeed know the right time when it came, or they might all find out what a steak felt like in a microwave oven..&"ou&re cra=y,& a( said. The words esca(ed $efore he could hold them $ack, $ut 8ain$ird did not seem offended. &3h yes,& he agreed, and drained his own $randy. He went on smiling. . ?G .ig .rother. .ig .rother was the (ro$lem. Andy moved from the living room of his a(artment to the kitchen, forcing himself to walk slowly, to hold a slight smile on his face * the walk and e-(ression of a man who is (leasantly stoned out of his gourd. So far he had succeeded only in kee(ing himself here, near harlie, and finding out that the nearest road was Highway HG% and that the countryside was fairly rural. All of that had $een a week ago. It had $een a month since the $lackout, and he still knew nothing more a$out the layout of this installation than he had $een a$le to o$serve when he and ,ynchot went for their walks. He didn&t want to (ush anyone down here in his 5uarters, $ecause .ig .rother was always watching and listening. And he didn&t want to (ush ,ynchot anymore, $ecause ,ynchot was cracking u( * Andy was sure of it. Since their little walk $y the duck(ond, ,ynchot had lost weight. There were dark circles under his eyes, as if he were slee(ing (oorly. He sometimes would $egin s(eaking and then trail off, as if he had lost his train of thought . . . or as if it had $een interru(ted. All of which made Andy&s own (osition that much more (recarious. How long $efore ,ynchot&s colleagues noticed what was ha((ening to him) They might think it nothing $ut nervous strain, $ut su((ose they connected it with him) That would $e the end of whatever slim chance Andy had of getting out of here with harlie. And his feeling that harlie was in $ig trou$le had got stronger and stronger. What in the name of Jesus hrist was he going to do a$out .ig .rother) He got a Welch&s 2ra(e from the fridge, went $ack to the living room, and sat down in
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front of the T< without seeing it, his mind working restlessly, looking for some way out. .ut when that way out came, it was 9like the (ower $lackout: a com(lete sur(rise. In a way, it was Herman ,ynchot who o(ened the door for him; he did it $y killing himself. ?% Two men came and got him. He recogni=ed one of them from 1anders&s farm. & ome on, $ig $oy,& this one said. &Little walk.& Andy smiled foolishly, $ut inside, the terror had $egun. Something had ha((ened. Something $ad had ha((ened/ they didn&t send guys like this if it was something good. ,erha(s he had $een found out. In fact, that was the most likely thing. &Where tG)& &Just come on.& He was taken to the elevator, $ut when they got off in the $allroom, they went farther into the house instead of outside. They (assed the secretarial (ool, entered a. smaller room where a secretary ran off corres(ondence on an I.1 ty(ewriter..&2o right in,& she said. They (assed her on the right and went through a door into a small study with a $ay window that gave a view of the duck(ond through a screen of low alders. .ehind an old*fashioned roll*to( desk sat an elderly man with a shar(, intelligent face/ his cheeks were ruddy, $ut from sun and wind rather than li5uor, Andy thought. He looked u( at Andy, then nodded at the two men who had $rought him in. &Thank you. "ou can wait outside.& They left. The man $ehind the desk looked keenly at Andy, who looked $ack $landly, still smiling a $it. He ho(ed to 2od he wasn&t overdoing it. &Hello, who are you)& he asked. &1y name is a(tain Hollister, Andy. "ou can call me a(. They tell me I am in charge of this here rodeo.& &,leased to meet you,& Andy said. He let his smile widen a little. Inside, the tension screwed itself u( another notch. &I&ve some sad news for you, Andy.& 9oh 2od no it&s harlie something&s ha((ened to harlie: a( was watching him steadily with those small, shrewd eyes, eyes caught so dee(ly in their (leasant nets of small wrinkles that you almost didn&t notice how cold and studious they were. &3h)& &"es,& a( said, and fell silent for a moment. And the silence s(un out agoni=ingly. a( had fallen into a study of his hands, which were neatly folded on the $lotter in front of him. It was all Andy could do to kee( from lea(ing across the desk and throttling him. Then a( looked u(. &'r. ,ynchot is dead, Andy. He killed himself last night.& Andy&s +aw dro((ed in unfeigned sur(rise. Alternating waves of relief and horror raced through him. And over it all, like a $oiling sky over a confused sea, was the reali=ation that this changed everything . . . $ut how) How) a( was watching him. He sus(ects. He sus(ects something. .ut are his sus(icions serious or only a (art of his +o$) A hundred 5uestions. He needed time to think and he had no time. He would have to do his thinking on his feet. &That sur(rises you)& a( asked. &He was my friend,& Andy said sim(ly, and had to close his mouth to kee( from saying more. This man would listen to him (atiently/ he would (ause long after Andy&s every remark 9as he was (ausing now: to see if Andy would (lunge on, the mouth outracing the mind. Standard interrogation techni5ue. And there were man*(its in these woods/ Andy felt it strongly. It had $een an echo, of course. An echo that had turned into a ricochet. He had (ushed ,ynchot and started a ricochet and it had torn the man a(art. And for all of that, Andy could not find it in his heart to $e sorry. There was horror . . . and there was a caveman who ca(ered and re+oiced. &Are you sure it was . . . I mean, sometimes an accident can look like * & &I&m afraid it was no accident.& &He left a note)& 9naming me): &He dressed u( in his wife&s underwear, went out into the kitchen, started u( the.gar$age dis(osal, and stuck his arm into &3h . . . my . . . 2od.& Andy sat down heavily. If there hadn&t $een a chair handy he would have sat on the floor. All the strength& had left his legs. He stared at a( Hollister with sick horror. &"ou didn&t have anything to do with that, did you, Andy)& a( asked. &"ou didn&t may$e (ush him into it)& &!o,& Andy said. &4ven if I could still do it, why would I do a thing like that)& &1ay$e $ecause he wanted to send you to the Hawaiians,& a( said. &1ay$e you didn&t want to go to 1aui, $ecause your daughter&s here. 1ay$e you&ve $een fooling us all along, Andy.& And although this a( Hollister was crawling around on to( of the truth, Andy felt a small loosening in his chest. If a( really thought he had (ushed ,ynchot into doing that, this interview wouldn&t $e going on $etween +ust the two of them. !o, it was +ust doing things $y the $ook/ that was all. They (ro$a$ly had all they needed to +ustify suicide in ,ynchot&s own file without looking for arcane methods of murder. 'idn&t they say that (sychiatrists had the highest suicide rate of any (rofession) &!o, that&s not true at all,& Andy said. He sounded afraid, confused, close to $lu$$ering. &I wanted to go to Hawaii. I told him that. I think that&s why he wanted to make more tests, $ecause I wanted to go. I don&t think he liked me in some ways. .ut I sure didn&t have anything to do with . . . with what ha((ened to him.& a( looked at him thoughtfully. Their eyes met for a moment and then Andy dro((ed
it.&
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his ga=e. &Well, I $elieve you, Andy,& a( said. &Herm ,ynchot had $een under a lot of (ressure lately. It&s a (art of this life we live, I su((ose. 8egretta$le. Add this secret transvestism on to( of that, and, well, it&s going to $e hard on his wife. <ery hard. .ut we take care of our own, Andy.& Andy could feel the man&s eyes $oring into him. &"es, we always take care of our own. That&s the most im(ortant thing.& &Sure,& Andy said dully. There was a lengthening moment of silence. After a little $it Andy looked u(, e-(ecting to see a( looking at him. .ut a( was staring out at the $ack lawn and the alders and his face looked saggy and confused and old, the face of a man who has $een seduced into thinking of other, (erha(s ha((ier, times. He saw Andy looking at him and a small wrinkle of disgust (assed over his face and was gone. Sudden sour hate flared inside Andy. Why shouldn&t this Hollister look disgusted) He saw a fat drug addict sitting in front of him * or that was what he thought he saw. .ut who gave the orders) And what are you doing to my daughter, you old monster) &Well,& a( said. &I&m ha((y to tell you you&ll $e going to 1aui anyway, Andy * it&san ill wind that doesn&t $low some$ody good, or something like that, hmmm) I&ve started the (a(erwork already.& &.ut . . . listen, you don&t really think I had anything to do with what ha((ened to 'r. ,ynchot, do you)& &!o, of course not.& That small and involuntary ri((le of disgust again. And this time Andy felt the sick satisfaction that he imagined a $lack guy who has successfully tommed an un(leasant white must feel. .ut over this was the alarm $rought on $y that (hrase I&ve started the (a(erwork already. &Well, that&s good. ,oor 'r. ,ynchot.& He looked downcast for only a token instant and.then said eagerly, &When am I going)& &As soon as (ossi$le. .y the end of ne-t week at the latest.& !ine days at the outside7 It was like a $attering ram in his stomach. &I&ve en+oyed our talk, Andy. I&m sorry we had to meet under such sad and un(leasant circumstances.& He was reaching for the intercom switch, and Andy suddenly reali=ed he couldn&t let him do that. There was nothing he could do in his a(artment with its cameras and listening devices. .ut if this guy really was the $ig cheese, this office would $e as dead as a doornail; he would have the (lace washed regularly for $ugs. 3f course, he might have his own listening devices, $ut &,ut your hand down,& Andy said, and (ushed. a( hesitated. His hand drew $ack and +oined its mate on the $lotter. He glanced out at the $ack lawn with that drifting, remem$ering e-(ression on his face. &'o you ta(e meetings in here)& &!o,& a( said evenly. &6or a long time I had a voice*activated >her*6ive thousand * like the one that got !i-on in trou$le * $ut I had it taken out fourteen weeks ago.& &Why)& &.ecause it looked like I was going to lose my +o$.& &Why did you think you were going to lose your +o$)& <ery ra(idly, in a kind of litany, a( said; &!o (roduction. !o (roduction. !o (roduction. 6unds must $e +ustified with results. 8e(lace the man at the to(. !o ta(es. !o scandal.& Andy tried to think it through. Was this taking him in a direction he wanted to go) He couldn&t tell, and time was short. He felt like the stu(idest, slowest kid at the 4aster*egg hunt. He decided he would go a $it further down this trail. &Why weren&t you (roducing)& &!o mental*domination a$ility left in 1c2ee. ,ermanently ti((ed over. 4veryone in agreement on that. The girl wouldn&t light fires. Said she wouldn&t no matter what. ,eo(le saying I was fi-ated on Lot Si-. Shot my $olt.& He grinned. &!ow it&s okay. 4ven 8ain$ird says so.& Andy renewed the (ush, and a small (ulse of (ain $egan to $eat in his forehead. &Why is it okay)& &Three tests so far. Hockstetter&s ecstatic. "esterday she flamed a (iece of sheet metal. S(ot tem( over twenty thousand degrees for four seconds, Hockstetter says.& Shock made the headache worse, made it harder to get a handle on his whirling thoughts. harlie was lighting fires) What had they done to her) What, in the name of 2od) He o(ened his mouth to ask and the intercom $u==ed, +olting him into (ushing much harder than he had to. 6or a moment, he gave a( almost everything there was. a( shuddered all over as if he had $een whi((ed with an electric cattle (rod. He made a low gagging sound and his ruddy face lost most of its color. Andy&s headache took a 5uantum lea( and he cautioned himself uselessly to take it easy/ having a stroke in this man&s office wouldn&t hel( harlie. &'on&t do that,& a( whined. &Hurts * & &Tell them no calls for the ne-t ten minutes,& Andy said. Somewhere the $lack horse was kicking at its sta$le door, wanting to get out, wanting to run free. He could feel oily.sweat running down his cheeks. The intercom $u==ed again. a( leaned forward and (ushed the toggle switch down. His face had aged fifteen years. & a(, Senator Thom(son&s aide is here with those figures you asked for on ,ro+ect Lea(.& &!o calls for the ne-t ten minutes,& a( said, and clicked off; Andy sat drenched in sweat. Would that hold them) 3r would they smell a rat) It didn&t matter. As Willy Loman had $een so wont to cry, the woods were $urning. hrist, what was he thinking of Willy Loman for) He was going cra=y. The $lack horse would $e out
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soon and he could ride there. He almost giggled. & harlie&s $een lighting fires)& &"es.& &How did you get her to do that)& & arrot and stick. 8ain$ird&s idea. She got to take walks outside for the first two. !ow she gets to ride the horse. 8ain$ird thinks that will hold her for the ne-t cou(le of weeks.& And he re(eated, &Hockstetter&s ecstatic.& &Who is this 8ain$ird)& Andy asked, totally unaware that he had +ust asked the +ack(ot 5uestion. a( talked in short $ursts for the ne-t five minutes. He told Andy that 8ain$ird was a Sho( hitter who had $een horri$ly wounded in <ietnam, had lost an eye there 9the one*eyed (irate in my dream, Andy thought num$ly:. He told Andy that it was 8ain$ird who had $een in charge of the Sho( o(eration that had finally netted Andy and harlie at Tashmore ,ond. He told him a$out the $lackout and 8ain$ird&s ins(ired first ste( on the road to getting harlie to start lighting fires under test conditions. 6inally, he told Andy that 8ain$ird&s (ersonal interest in all of this was harlie&s life when the string of dece(tion had finally run itself out. He s(oke of these matters in a voice that was emotionless yet somehow urgent. Then he fell silent. Andy listened in growing fury and horror. He was trem$ling all over when a(&s recitation had concluded. harlie, he thought. 3h, harlie, harlie. His ten minutes were almost u(, and there was still so much he needed to know. The two of them sat silent for (erha(s forty seconds/ an o$server might have decided they were com(aniona$le older friends who no longer needed to s(eak to communicate. Andy&s mind raced. & a(tain Hollister,& he said. &"es)& &When is ,ynchot&s funeral)& &The day after tomorrow,& a( said calmly. &We&re going. "ou and I. "ou understand)& &"es, I understand. We&re going to ,ynchot&s funeral.& &I asked to go. I $roke down and cried when I heard he was dead.& &"es, you $roke down and cried.& &I was very u(set.& &"es, you were.& &We&re going to go in your (rivate car, +ust the two of us. There can $e Sho( (eo(le in cars ahead and $ehind us, motorcycles on either side if that&s standard o(erating (rocedure, $ut we&re going alone. 'o you understand)&.&3h, yes. That&s (erfectly clear. Just the two of us.& &And we&re going to have a good talk. 'o you also understand that)& &"es, a good talk.& &Is your car $ugged)& &!ot at all.& Andy $egan to (ush again, a series of light ta(s. 4ach time he (ushed, a( flinched a little, and Andy knew there was an e-cellent chance that he might $e starting an echo in there, $ut it had to $e done. &We&re going to talk a$out where harlie is $eing ke(t. We&re going to talk a$out ways of throwing this whole (lace into confusion without locking all the doors the way the (ower $lackout did. And we&re going to talk a$out ways that harlie and I can get out of here. 'o you understand)& &"ou&re not su((osed to esca(e,& a( said in a hateful, childish voice. &That&s not in the scenario.& &It is now, & Andy said, and (ushed again. &3wwwww7& a( whined. . &'o you understand that)& &"es, I understand, don&t, don&t do that anymore, it hurts7& &This Hockstetter * will he 5uestion my going to the funeral)& &!o, Hockstetter is all wra((ed u( in the little girl. He thinks of little else these days.& &2ood.& It wasn&t good at all. It was des(eration. &Last thing, a(tain Hollister. "ou&re going to forget that we had this little talk.& &"es, I&m going to forget all a$out it.& The $lack horse was loose. It was starting its run. Take me out of here, Andy thought dimly. Take me out of here/ the horse is loose and the woods are $urning. The headache came in a sickish cycle of thudding (ain. &4verything I&ve told you will occur naturally to you as your own idea.& &"es.& Andy looked at a(&s desk and saw a $o- of 0leene- there. He took one of them and $egan da$$ing at his eyes with it. He was not crying, $ut the headache had caused his eyes to water and that was +ust as good. &I&m ready to go now,& he said to a(. He let go. a( looked out at the alders again, thoughtfully $lank. Little $y little, animation came $ack into his face, and he turned toward Andy, who was wi(ing at his eyes a $it and sniffing. There was no need to overact. &How are you feeling now, Andy)& &A little $etter,& Andy said. &.ut . . . you know . . . to hear it like that . . .& &"es, you were very u(set,& a( said. &Would you like to have a coffee or something)& &!o, thanks. I&d like to go $ack to my a(artment (lease.& &3f course. I&ll see you out.& &Thank you.& ??
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The two men who had seen him u( to the office looked at Andy with dou$tful sus(icion.* the 0leene-, the red and watering eyes, the (aternal arm that a( had (ut around his shoulders. 1uch the same e-(ression came into the eyes of a(&s secretary. &He $roke down and cried when he heard ,ynchot was dead,& a( said 5uietly. &He was very u(set. I $elieve I&ll see if I can arrange for him to attend Herman&s funeral with me. Would you like to do that, Andy)& &"es,& Andy said. &"es, (lease. If it can $e arranged. ,oor 'r. ,ynchot.& And suddenly he $urst into real tears. The two men led him (ast Senator Thom(son&s $ewildered, em$arrassed aide, who had several $lue*$ound folders in his hands. They took Andy out, still wee(ing, each with a hand clas(ed lightly at his el$ow. 4ach of them wore an e-(ression of disgust that was very similar to a(&s * disgust for this fat drug addict who had totally lost control of his emotions and any sense of (ers(ective and gushed tears for the man who had $een his ca(tor. Andy&s tears were real . . . $ut it was harlie he we(t for. ?H John always rode with her, $ut in her dreams harlie rode alone. The head groom, ,eter 'ra$$le, had fitted her out with a small, neat 4nglish saddle, $ut in her dreams she rode $are$ack. She and John rode on the $ridle (aths that wove their way across the Sho( grounds, moving in and out of the toy forest of sugar(ines and skirting the duck(ond, never doing more than an easy canter, $ut in her dreams she and !ecromancer gallo(ed together, faster and faster, through a real forest/ they (lunged at s(eed down a wild trail and the light was green through the interlaced $ranches overhead, and her hair streamed out $ehind her. She could feel the ri((le of !ecromancer&s muscles under his silky hide, and she rode with her hands twisted in his mane and whis(ered in his ear that she wanted to go faster . . . faster . . . faster. !ecromancer res(onded. His hooves were thunder. The (ath through these tangled, green woods was a tunnel, and from somewhere $ehind her there came a faint crackling &and 9the woods are $urning : a whiff& of smoke. It was a fire, a fire she had started, $ut there was no guilt * only e-hilaration. They could outrace it. !ecromancer could go anywhere, do anything. They would esca(e the foresttunnel. She could sense $rightness ahead. &6aster. 6aster.& The e-hilaration. The freedom. She could no longer tell where her thighs ended and !ecromancer&s sides $egan. They were one, fused, as fused as the metals she welded with her (ower when she did their tests. Ahead of them was a huge deadfall, a $lowdown of white wood like a tangled cairn of $ones. Wild with lunatic +oy, she kicked at !ecromancer lightly with her $are heels and felt his hind5uarters $unch. They lea(ed it, for a moment floating in the air. Her head was $ack/ her hands held horsehair and she screamed * not in fear $ut sim(ly $ecause not to scream, to hold in, might cause her to e-(lode. 6ree, free, free . . . !ecromancer, I love you. They cleared the deadfall easily $ut now the smell of smoke was shar(er, clearer * there was a (o((ing sound from $ehind them and it was only when a s(ark s(iraled down.and $riefly stung her flesh like a nettle $efore going out that she reali=ed she was naked. !aked and 9$ut the woods are $urning: free, unfettered, loose * she and !ecromancer, running for the light. &6aster,& she whis(ered. &6aster, oh (lease.& Somehow the $ig $lack gelding (roduced even more s(eed. The wind in harlie&s ears was rushing thunder. She did not have to .$reathe/ air was scoo(ed into her throat through her half*o(en mouth. Sun shone through these old trees in dusty $ars like old co((er. And u( ahead was the light * the end of the forest, o(en land, where she and !ecromancer would run forever. The fire was $ehind them, the hateful smell of smoke, the feel of fear. The sun was ahead, and she would ride !ecromancer all the way to the sea, where she would (erha(s find her father and the two of them would live $y (ulling in nets full of shining, sli((ery fish. &6aster7& she cried trium(hantly. &3h, !ecromancer, go faster, go faster, go * & And that was when the silhouette ste((ed into the widening funnel of light where the woods ended, $locking the light in its own sha(e, $locking the way out. At first, as always in this dream, she thought it was her father, was sure it was her father, and her +oy $ecame almost hurtful . . . $efore suddenly transforming into utter terror. She +ust had time to register the fact that the man was too $ig, too tall * and yet somehow familiar, dreadfully familiar, even in silhouette * $efore !ecromancer reared, screaming. an horses scream) I didn&t know they could scream * Struggling to stay on, her thighs sli((ing as his hooves (awed at the air, and he wasn&t screaming, he was whinnying, $ut it was a scream and there were other screaming whinnies somewhere $ehind her, oh dear 2od, she thought, horses $ack there, horses $ack there and the woods are $urning * >( ahead, $locking the light, that silhouette, that dreadful sha(e. !ow it $egan to come toward her/ she had fallen onto the (ath and !ecromancer touched her $are stomach gently with his mu==le. &'on&t you hurt my horse7& she screamed at the advancing silhouette, the dream*father who was not her father. &'on&t you hurt the horses. 3h, (lease don&t hurt the horses7& .ut the figure came on and it was drawing a gun and that was when she awoke, sometimes with a scream, sometimes only in a shuddery cold sweat, knowing that she had dreamed $adly $ut una$le to remem$er anything save the mad, e-hilarating (lunge down the wooded trail and the smell of fire . . . these things, and an almost sick feeling of
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$etrayal .... And in the sta$le that day, she would touch !ecromancer or (erha(s (ut the side of her face against his warm shoulder and feel a dread for which she had no name..4ndgame % It was a $igger room. >ntil last week, in fact, it had $een the Sho(&s non*denominational cha(el. The s(eed with which things were (icking u( could have $een sym$oli=ed $y the s(eed and ease with which a( had rammed through Hockstetter&s re5uests. A new cha(el * not an odd s(are room $ut a real cha(el * was to $e $uilt at the eastern end of the grounds. 1eanwhile, the remainder of the tests on harlie 1c2ee would $e held here. The fake wood (aneling and the (ews had $een ri((ed out. .oth flooring and walls had $een insulated with as$estos $atting that looked like steel wool and then covered over with heavy*guage tem(ered sheet steel. The area that had $een the altar and the nave had $een (artitioned off; Hockstetter&s monitoring instruments and a com(uter terminal had $een installed. All of this had $een done in a single week/ work had $egun +ust four days $efore Herman ,ynchot ended his life in such grisly fashion. !ow, at two in the afternoon on an early 3cto$er day, a cinder$lock wall stood in the middle of the long room. To the left of it was a huge, low tank of water. Into this tank, which was si- feet dee(, had $een dum(ed more than two thousand (ounds of ice. In front of it stood harlie 1c2ee, looking small and neat in a $lue denim +um(er and red and $lack stri(ed rug$y socks. .lond (igtails tied off with small $lack velvet $ows hung down to her shoulder $lades. &All right, harlie,& Hockstetter&s voice said over the intercom. Like everything else, the intercom had $een hastily installed, and its re(roduction was tinny and (oor. &We&re ready when you are.& The cameras filmed it all in living color. In these films, the small girl&s head di(s slightly, and for a few seconds nothing ha((ens at all. Inset at the left of the film frame is a digital tem(erature readout. All at once it $egins to move u(ward, from seventy to eighty to ninety. After that the figures +um( u( so ra(idly that they are +ust a shifting reddish $lur/ the electronic tem(erature (ro$e has $een (laced in the center of the cinder$lock wall. !ow the film switches to slow motion/ it is the only way that the entire action can $e caught. To the men who watched it through the o$servation room&s leaded*glass viewing (orts, it ha((ened with the s(eed of a gunshot. In e-treme slow motion, the cinder$lock wall $egins to smoke/ small (articles of mortar and concrete $egin to +um( la=ily u(ward like (o((ing corn. Then the mortar holding the $locks together can $e o$served to $e running, like warm molasses. Then the $ricks $egin to crum$le, from the center outward. Showers of (articles, then clouds of them, $low $ack as the $locks e-(lode with the heat. !ow the digital heat sensor im(lanted in the center of this wall free=es at a reading of over seven thousand degrees. It free=es not $ecause the tem(erature has sto((ed clim$ing $ut $ecause the sensor itself has $een destroyed. Set around this testing room that used to $e a cha(el are eight huge 0elvinator air conditioners, all running at high s(eed, all (um(ing free=ing air into the testing room. All eight kicked into o(eration as soon as the room&s overall tem(erature (assed ninety*five.. harlie had got very good at directing the stream of heat that somehow came from her at a single (oint, $ut as anyone who has ever $urned his or her hand on a hot skillet handle knows, even so*called nonconducta$le surfaces will conduct heat * if there is enough heat to conduct. With all eight of the industrial 0elvinators running, the tem(erature in the testing room should have $een minus fifteen degrees 6ahrenheit, (lus or minus five degrees. Instead, the records show a continued clim$, u( over a hundred degrees, then a hundred and five, then a hundred and seven. .ut all of the sweat running down the faces of the o$servers cannot $e accounted for $y the heat alone. !ow not even e-treme slow motion will give a clear (icture of what is ha((ening, $ut one thing is clear; as the cinder$locks continue to e-(lode outward and $ackward, there can $e no dou$t that they are $urning/ these $locks are $urning as $riskly as news(a(ers in a fire(lace. 3f course, an eighth*grade science $ook teaches that anything will $urn if it gets hot enough. .ut it is one thing to read such information and 5uite another to see cinder$lock $la=ing with $lue and yellow flame. Then everything is o$scured $y a furious $low$ack of disintegrating (articles as the whole wall va(ori=es. The little girl makes a slow*motion half turn and a moment later the calm surface of the icy water in the tank is convulsed and $oiling. And the heat in the room, which has crested at a hundred twelve, 9even with all eight air conditioners, it is as hot as a summer noontime in 'eath <alley:, $egins to go $ack. There&s one for the swee(er. ? I!T48'4,A8T14!TAL 1413 6rom .radford Hyuck To ,atrick Hockstetter 'ate 3cto$er ? 8e Telemetry, latest . 1c2ee Test 9!o. B: ,at * I&ve watched the films four times now and still can&t $elieve it isn&t some sort of s(ecial effects trick. Some unsolicited advice; When you get $efore the Senate su$committee that&s going to deal with the Lot Si- a((ro(riations and renewal (lans, have your ducks in a row and do more than cover your ass * armor*(late it7 Human nature $eing what it is, those guys are going to look at those films and have a hard +o$ $elieving it isn&t a flat*out shuckand*+ive.
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To $usiness; The readouts are $eing delivered $y s(ecial messenger, and this memo should $eat them $y no more than two or three hours. "ou can read them over for yourself, $ut I&ll $riefly sum u( our findings. 3ur conclusions can $e summed u( in two words; We&re stum(ed. She was wired u( this time like an astronaut going into s(ace. "ou will note;.%: .lood (ressure within normal (arameters for a child of eight, and there&s hardly a +og when that wall goes u( like the Hiroshima $om$. ?: A$normally high al(ha wave readings/ what we&d call her &imagination circuitry& is well engaged. "ou may or may not agree with la((er and me that the waves are rather more even, suggesting a certain &controlled imaginative de-terity& 9 la((er&s rather fulsome (hrase, not mine:. ould indicate she&s getting in control of it and can mani(ulate the a$ility with greater (recision. ,ractice, as they say, makes (erfect. 3r it may mean nothing at all. H: All meta$olic telemetry is within normal (arameters * nothing strange or out of (lace. It&s as if she was reading a good $ook or writing a class theme instead of creating what you say must have $een u(wards of HG,GGG degrees of s(ot heat. To my mind the most fascinating 9and frustrating7: information of all is the .eal*Searles AT test. !e-t to no caloric $urn7 In case you&ve forgotten your (hysics * occu(ational ha=ard with you shrinks * a calorie is nothing $ut a unit of heat/ the amount of heat necessary to raise a gram of water one degree centigrade, to $e e-act. She $urned may$e ?I calories during that little e-hi$ition, what we would $urn doing half a do=en sit*u(s or walking twice around the $uilding. .ut calories measure heat, damn it, heat, and what she&s (roducing is heat . . . or is she) Is it coming from her or through her) And if it&s the latter, where is it coming from) 6igure that one out and you&ve got the !o$el ,ri=e in your hi( (ocket7 I&ll tell you this; if our test series is as limited as you say it is, I&m (ositive we&ll never find out. Last word; Are you sure you want to continue these tests) Lately I +ust have to think a$out that kid and I start to get very antsy. I start thinking a$out things like (ulsars and neutrinos and $lack holes and hrist knows what else. There are forces loose in this universe that we don&t even know a$out yet, and some we can o$serve only at a remove of millions of light*years . . . and $reathe a sigh of relief $ecause of it. The last time I looked at that film I $egan to think of the girl as a crack * a chink, if you like * in the very smelter of creation. I know how that sounds, $ut I feel I would $e remiss not to say it. 2od forgive me for saying this, with three lovely girls of my own, $ut I (ersonally will $reathe a sigh of relief when she&s $een neutrali=ed. If she can (roduce HG,GGG degrees of s(ot heat without even trying, have you ever thought what might ha((en if she really set her mind to it) .rad H &I want to see my father,& harlie said when Hockstetter came in. She looked (ale and wan. She had changed from her +um(er into an old nightgown, and her hair was loose on her shoulders. & harlie * & he $egan, $ut anything he had $een meaning to follow with was suddenly gone. He was dee(ly trou$led $y .rad Hyuck&s memo and $y the su((orting telemetry readouts. The fact that .rad had trusted those final two (aragra(hs to (rint said much, and suggested more. Hockstetter himself was scared. In authori=ing the changeover of cha(el to testing.room, a( had also authori=ed the installation of more 0elvinator air conditioner around harlie&s a(artment * not eight $ut twenty. 3nly si- had $een installed so far, $ut after Test !o.B, Hockstetter didn&t care if they were installed or not. He thought they could set u( two hundred of the damned things and&not im(ede her (ower. It was no longer a 5uestion of whether or not she could kill herself/ it was a 5uestion of whether or not she could destroy the entire Sho( installation if she wanted to * and may$e all of eastern <irginia in the $argain. Hockstetter now thought that if she wanted to do those things, she could. And the last sto( on that line of reasoning was even scarier; only John 8ain$ird had an effective checkrein on her now. And 8ain$ird was nuts. &I want to see my father,& she re(eated. Her father was at the funeral of (oor Herman ,ynchot. He attended with a(, at the latter&s re5uest. 4ven ,ynchot&s death, as unrelated to anything going on here as it was, seemed to have cast its own evil (all over Hockstetter&s mind. &Well, I think that can $e arranged,& Hockstetter said cautiously, &if you can show us a little more * & &I&ve shown you enough,& she said. &I want to see my daddy.& Her lower li( trem$led/ her eyes had taken on a sheen of tears. &"our orderly/& Hockstetter said, &that Indian fellow, said you didn&t want to go for a ride on your horse this morning after the test. He seemed worried a$out you.& &It&s not my horse,& harlie said. Her voice was husky. &!othing here is mine. !othing e-ce(t my daddy and I . . . want . . . to . . . see him7& Her voice rose to an angry, tearful shout. &'on&t get e-cited, harlie,& Hockstetter said, suddenly frightened. Was it suddenly getting hotter in here, or was it +ust his imagination) &Just . . . +ust don&t get e-cited.& 8ain$ird. This should have $een 8ain$ird&s +o$, god*dammit. &Listen to me, harlie.& He smiled a wide, friendly smile. &How would you like to go to Si- 6lags over 2eorgia) It&s +ust a$out the neatest amusement (ark in the whole South, e-ce(t may$e for 'isney World. We&d rent the whole (ark for a day, +ust for you. "ou could ride the 6erris wheel, go in the haunted mansion, the merry*go*round * & &I don&t want to go to any amusement (ark, I +ust want to see my daddy. And I&m going to. I ho(e you hear me, $ecause I&m going to7& It was hotter. &"ou&re sweating,& harlie said.
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He thought of the cinder$lock wall, e-(loding so fast you could see the flames only in slow motion. He thought of the steel tray fli((ing over twice as it flew across the room, s(raying $urning chunks of wood. If she flicked that (ower out at him, he would $e a (ile of ashes and fused $one almost $efore he knew what was ha((ening to him. 3h 2od (lease * & harlie, getting mad at me won&t accom(lish anyth * & &"es,& she said with (erfect truth. &"es it will. And I&m mad at you, 'r. Hockstetter. I&m really mad at you.& & harlie, (lease * & &I want to see him,& she said again. &!ow go away. "ou tell them I want to see my father and then they can test me some more if they want. I don&t mind. .ut if I don&t see him, I&ll make something ha((en. Tell them that.& He left. He felt that he should say something more * something that would redeem his.dignity a little, make u( a little for the fear 9&you&re sweating&: she had seen scrawled on his face * $ut nothing occurred. He left, and not even the steel door $etween him and her could com(letely ease his fear . . . or his anger at John 8ain$ird. .ecause 8ain$ird had foreseen this, and 8ain$ird had said nothing. And if he accused 8ain$ird of that, the Indian would only smile his chilling smile and ask who was the (sychiatrist around here, anyway) The tests had diminished her com(le- a$out starting fires until it was like an earthen dam that had s(rung leaks in a do=en (laces. The tests had afforded her the (ractice necessary to refine a crude sledgehammer of (ower into something she could flick out with deadly (recision, like a circus (erformer throwing a weighted knife. And the tests had $een the (erfect o$+ect lesson. They had shown her, $eyond a shadow of a dou$t, who was in charge here. She was. B When Hockstetter was gone, harlie fell on the couch, her hands to her face, so$$ing. Waves of conflicting emotion swe(t her * guilt and horror, indignation, even a kind of angry (leasure. .ut fear was the greatest of them all. Things had changed when she agreed to their tests/ she feared things had changed forever. And now she didn&t +ust want to see her father, she needed him. She needed him to tell her what to do ne-t. At first there had $een rewards * walks outside with John, currying !ecromancer, then riding him. She loved John and she loved !ecromancer . . . if that stu(id man could only have known how $adly he had hurt her $y saying. !ecromancer was hers when harlie knew he never could $e. The $ig gelding was only hers in her uneasy half*remem$ered dreams. .ut now . . . now . . . the tests themselves, the chance to use her (ower and feel it grow . . . that was starting to $ecome the reward. It had $ecome a terri$le $ut com(elling game. And she sensed she had $arely scratched the surface. She was like a $a$y who has +ust learned how to walk. She needed her father, she needed him to tell her what was right, what was wrong, whether to go on or to sto( forever. If * &If I can sto(,& she whis(ered through her fingers. That was the most frightening thing of all * no longer $eing sure that she could sto(. And if she could not, what would that mean) 3h, what would that mean) She $egan to cry again. She had never felt so dreadfully alone. I The funeral was a $ad scene. Andy had thought he would $e okay/ his headache was gone, and, after all, the funeral was only an e-cuse to $e alone with a(. He hadn&t liked ,ynchot, although in the end ,ynchot had (roved to $e +ust a little too small to hate. His $arely concealed arrogance and his unconcealed (leasure at $eing on to( of a fellow human $eing * $ecause of.those things and $ecause of his overriding concern for harlie, Andy had felt little guilt a$out the ricochet that he had inadvertently set u( in ,ynchot&s mind. The ricochet that had finally torn the man a(art. The echo effect had ha((ened $efore, $ut he had always had a chance to (ut things right again. It was something he had got (retty good at $y the time he and harlie had to run from !ew "ork ity. There seemed to $e land mines (lanted dee( in almost every human $rain, dee(*seated fears and guilts, suicidal, schi=o(hrenic, (aranoid im(ulses * even murderous ones. A (ush caused a state of e-treme suggesti$ility, and if a suggestion tended down one of those (ark (aths, it could destroy. 3ne of his housewives in the Weight*3ff (rogram had $egun to suffer frightening catatonic la(ses. 3ne of his $usinessmen had confessed a mor$id urge to take his service (istol down from the closet and (lay 8ussian roulette with it, an urge that was somehow connected in his mind with a story $y 4dgar Allan ,oe, &William Wilson,& that he had read way $ack in high school. In $oth cases, Andy had $een a$le to sto( the echo $efore it s(ed u( and turned into that lethal ricochet. In the case of the $usinessman, a 5uiet, sandy*haired, third*echelon $ank officer, all it had taken was another (ush and the 5uiet suggestion that he had never read the ,oe story at all. The connection * whatever it had $een * was $roken. The chance to $reak the echo had never come with ,ynchot. a( talked restlessly of the man&s suicide as they drove to the funeral through a cold, swishing autumn rain/ he seemed to $e trying to come to terms with it. He said he wouldn&t have thought it (ossi$le for a man +ust to . . . to kee( his arm in there once those $lades had $egun to cho( and grind. .ut ,ynchot had. Somehow ,ynchot had. That was when the funeral started $eing $ad for Andy. The two of them attended only the graveside services, standing well $ack from the small grou( of friends and family, clustered under a $loom of $lack um$rellas. Andy discovered it was one thing to remem$er ,ynchot&s arrogance, the little* aesar , (ower*tri((ing
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of a small man who had no real (ower/ to remem$er his endless and irritating nervous tic of a smile. It was 5uite another to look at his (allid, washed*out wife in her $lack suit and veiled hat, holding the hands of her two $oys 9the younger was a$out harlie&s age, and they $oth looked utterly stunned and out of it, as if drugged:, 0nowing * as she must * that the friends and relatives must all know how her hus$and was found, dressed in her underwear, his right arm va(ori=ed nearly to the el$ow, shar(ened like a living (encil, his $lood s(lattered in the sink and on the Wood*1ode ca$inets, chunks of his flesh * Andy&s gorge rose hel(lessly. He $ent forward in the cold rain, struggling with it. The minister&s voice rose and fell senselessly. &I want to go,& Andy said. & an we go)& &"es, of course,& a( said. He looked (ale himself, old and not (articularly well. &I&ve $een to 5uite enough funerals this year to hold me.& They sli((ed away from the grou( standing around the fake grass, the flowers already droo(ing and s(illing (etals in this hard rain, the coffin on its runners over the hole in the ground. They walked side $y side $ack toward the winding, graveled drive where a(&s economy*si=ed hevy was (arked near the rear of the funeral cortege. They walked under willows that dri((ed and rustled mysteriously. Three or four other men, $arely seen, moved around them. Andy thought that he must know now how the ,resident of the >nited States feels..&<ery $ad for the widow and the little $oys,& a( said. &The scandal, you know.& &Will she . . . uh, will she $e taken care of)& &<ery handsomely, in terms of money,& a( said almost tonelessly. They were nearing the lane now. Andy could see a(&s orange <ega, (arked on the verge. Two men were getting 5uietly into a .iscayne in front of it. Two more got into a gray ,lymouth $ehind it. &.ut no$ody&s going to $e a$le to $uy of those two little $oys. 'id you see their faces)& Andy said nothing. !ow he felt guilt/ it was like a shar( saw$lade working in hisguts. !ot even telling himself that his own (osition had $een des(erate would hel(. All he could do now was hold harlie&s face in front of him . . . harlie and a darkly ominous figure $ehind her, a one*eyed (irate named John 8ain$ird who had wormed his way into her confidence so he could hasten the day when They got into the <ega and a( started the engine. The .iscayne ahead (ulled out and a( followed. The ,lymouth fell into (lace $ehind them. Andy felt a sudden, almost eerie. certainty that the (ush had deserted him againthat when he tried there would $e nothing. As if to (ay for the e-(ression on the faces of the two $oys. .ut what else was there to do $ut try) &We&re going to have a little talk,& he said to a(, and (ushed. The (ush was there, and the headache settled in almost at once * the (rice he was going to have to (ay for using it so soon after the last time. &It won&t interfere with your driving.& a( seemed to settle in his seat. His left hand, which had $een moving toward his turnsignal, hesitated a moment and then went on. The <ega followed the lead car sedately $etween the $ig stone (illars and onto the main road. &!o, I don&t think our little talk will interfere with my driving at all,& a( said. They were twenty miles from the com(ound/ Andy had checked the odometer u(on leaving and again u(on arriving at the cemetery. A lot of it was over the highway ,ynchot had told him a$out, HG%. It was a fast road. He guessed he had no more than twenty*five minutes to arrange everything. He had thought of little else over the last two days and thought he had everything (retty well ma((ed out . . . $ut there was one thing he $adly needed to know. &How long can you and 8ain$ird ensure harlie&s coo(eration, a(tain Hollister)& &!ot much longer,& a( said. &8ain$ird arranged things very cleverly so that in your a$sence, he&s the only one really in control of her. The father surrogate.& In a low, almost chanting voice, he said, &He&s her father when her father isn&t there.& &And when she sto(s, she&s to $e killed)& &!ot immediately. 8ain$ird can kee( her at it awhile longer.& a( signaled his turn onto HG%. &He&ll (retend we found out. 6ound out that they were talking. 6ound out that he was giving her advice on how to handle her . . . her (ro$lem. 6ound out he had (assed notes to you.& He fell silent, $ut Andy didn&t need any more. He felt sick. He wondered if they had congratulated each other on how easy it was to fool a little kid, to win her affections in a lonely (lace and then twist her to their own (ur(oses once they had earned her trust. When nothing else would work, +ust tell her that her only friend, John the orderly, was going to lose his +o$ and may$e $e (rosecuted under the 3fcial Secrets Act for (resuming to $e her friend. harlie would do the rest on her own. harlie would deal with them. She would continue to coo(erate..I ho(e I meet this guy soon. I really do. .ut there was no time to think a$out that now . . . and if things went right, he would never have to meet 8ain$ird at all. &I&m slated to go to Hawaii a week from today,& Andy said. &"es, that&s right.& &How)& &.y army trans(ort (lane.& &Who did you contact to arrange that)& &,uck,& a( said immediately. &Who&s ,uck, a(tain Hollister)& &1a+or <ictor ,uckeridge,& a( said. &At Andrews.& &Andrews Air 6orce .ase)& &"es, of course.& &He&s a friend)& &We (lay golf.& a( smiled vaguely. &He slices.& Wonderful news, Andy thought. His
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head was thro$$ing like a rotted tooth. &Su((ose you called him this afternoon and said you wanted to move that flight u( $y three days)& &"es)& a( said dou$tfully. &Would that (resent a (ro$lem) A lot of (a(erwork)& &3h, no. ,uck would slice right through the (a(erwork.& The smile rea((eared, slightly odd and not really ha((y. &He slices. 'id I tell you that)& &"es. "es, you did.& &3h. 2ood.& The car hummed along at a (erfectly legal fifty*five. The rain had mellowed to a steady mist. The windshield wi(ers clicked $ack and forth. & all him this afternoon, a(. As soon as you get $ack.& & all ,uck, yes. I was +ust thinking I ought to do that.& &Tell him I&ve got to $e moved on Wednesday instead of Saturday.& 6our days was not much time to recu(erate three weeks would have $een more like it * $ut things were moving ra(idly to a clima- now. The endgame had $egun. The fact was there, and Andy, out of necessity, recogni=ed it. He wouldn&t * couldn&t * leave harlie in the (ath of this 8ain$ird creature any longer than he had to. &Wednesday instead of Saturday.& &"es. And then you tell ,uck that you&ll $e coming along.& & oming along) I can&t * & Andy renewed the (ush. It hurt him, $ut he (ushed hard. a( +erked in his seat. The car swerved minutely on the road, and Andy thought again that he was (ractically $egging to start u( an echo in this guy&s head. & oming along, yes. I&m coming along.& &That&s right,& Andy said grimly. &!ow * what sort of arrangements have you made a$out security)& &!o (articular security arrangements,& a( said. &"ou&re (retty much inca(acitated $y Thora=ine. Also, you&re ti((ed over and una$le to use your mental*domination a$ility. It has $ecome dormant.& &Ah, yes,& Andy said, and (ut a slightly shaky hand to his forehead. &'o you mean I&ll $e.riding the (lane alone)& &!o,& a( said immediately, &I $elieve I&ll come along myself.& &"es, $ut other than the two of us)& &There will $e two Sho( men along, (artly to act as stewards and (artly to kee( an eye on you. S3,, you know. ,rotect the investment.& &3nly two o(eratives are scheduled to go with us) "ou&re sure)& &"es.& &And the flight crew, of course.& &"es.& Andy looked out the window. They were halfway $ack now. This was the crucial (art, and his head was already aching so $adly that he was afraid he might forget something. If he did, the whole cardhouse would come tum$ling down. harlie, he thought, and tried to hold on. &Hawaii&s a long way from <irginia, a(tain Hollister. Will the (lane make a refueling sto()& &"es.& &'o you know where)& &!o.& a( said serenely, and Andy could have (unched him in the eye. &When you s(eak to . . .& What was his name) He gro(ed frantically in his tired, hurt mind and retrieved it. &When you s(eak to ,uck, find out where the (lane will set down for refueling.& &"es, all right.& &Just work it naturally into your conversation with him.& &"es, I&ll find out where it&s going to refuel $y working it naturally into our conversation.& He glanced at Andy with thoughtful, dreamy eyes, and Andy found himself wondering if this man had given the order that <icky $e killed. There was a sudden urge to tell him to floor the accelerator (edal and drive into that oncoming $ridge a$utment. 4-ce(t for harlie. harlie7 his mind said. Hold on for harlie. &'id I tell you that ,uck slices)& a( said fondly. &"es. "ou did.& Think7 Think, dammit7 Somewhere near hicago or Los Angeles seemed the most likely. .ut not at a civilian air(ort like 3&Hare or L. A. International. The (lane would refuel at an air$ase. That in itself (resented no (ro$lem to his rag of a (lan * it was one of the few things that did not * as long as he could find out where in advance. &We&d like to leave at three in the afternoon,& he told a(. &Three.& &"ou&ll see that this John 8ain$ird is somewhere else.& &Send him away)& a( said ho(efully, and it gave Andy a chill to reali=e that a( was afraid of 8ain$ird * 5uite $adly afraid. &"es. It doesn&t matter where.& &San 'iego)& &All right.& !ow. Last la(. He was +ust going to make it/ u( ahead a green reflectori=ed sign (ointed the way to the Longmont e-it. Andy reached into the front (ocket of his (ants and (ulled out a folded sli( of (a(er. 6or the moment, he only held it in his la(, $etween first and second fingers..&"ou&re going to tell the two Sho( guys who are going to Hawaii with us to meet us at the air$ase,& he said. &They&re to meet us at Andrews. "ou and I will go to Andrew +ust as we are now.& &"es.&
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Andy drew in a dee( $reath. &.ut my daughter will $e with us.& &Her)& a( showed real agitation for the first time. &Her)& She&s dangerous7 She can&t * we can&t * & &She wasn&t dangerous until you (eo(le started (laying with her,& Andy said harshly. &!ow she is coming with us and you are not to contradict me again, do you understand that)& This time the car&s swerve was more (ronounced, and a( moaned. &She&ll $e coming with us,& he agreed. &I won&t contradict you anymore. That hurts. That hurts.& .ut not as much as it hurts me. !ow his voice seemed to $e coming from far away, through the $lood*soaked net of (ain that was (ulling tighter and tighter around his $rain. &"ou&re going to give her this,& Andy said, and (assed the folded note to a(. &2ive it to her today, $ut do it carefully, so that no one sus(ects.& a( tucked the note into his $reast (ocket. !ow they were a((roaching the Sho(/ on their left were the dou$le runs of electrified fence. Warning signs flashed (ast every fifty yards or so. &8e(eat $ack the salient (oints,& Andy said. a( s(oke 5uickly and concisely * the voice of a man who had $een trained in the act of recall since the days of his military*academy $oyhood. &I will arrange for you to leave for Hawaii on an army trans(ort (lane on Wednesday instead of Saturday. I will $e coming with you/ your daughter will also accom(any us. The two Sho( agents who will also $e coming will meet us at Andrews. I will find out from ,uck where the (lane will $e refueling. I&ll do that when I call him to change the flight date. I have a note to give your daughter. I&ll give it to her after I finish talking to ,uck, and I will do it in a way which will arouse no undue sus(icion. And I will arrange to have John 8ain$ird in San 'iego ne-t Wednesday. I $elieve that covers the waterfront.& &"es,& Andy said, &I $elieve it does.& He leaned $ack against the seat and closed his eyes. Jum$led fragments of (ast and (resent flew through his mind, aimlessly, +ackstraws $lown in the high wind. 'id this really have a chance to work, or was he only $uying death for $oth of them) They knew what harlie could do now/ they&d had firsthand e-(erience. If it went wrong, they would finish their tri( in the cargo $ay of that army trans(ort (lane. In two $o-es. a( (aused at the guard$ooth, rolled down his window, and handed over a (lastic card, which the man on duty sli((ed into a com(uter terminal. &2o ahead, sir,& he said. a( drove on. &3ne last thing, a(tain Hollister. "ou&re going to forget all a$out this. "ou&ll do each of the things we&ve discussed (erfectly s(ontaneously. "ou&ll discuss them with no one.& &All right.& Andy nodded. It wasn&t all right, $ut it would have to do. The chances of setting u( an echo here were e-traordinarily high $ecause he had $een forced to (ush the man terri$ly.hard and also $ecause the instructions he had given a( would go com(letely against the grain. a( might $e a$le to $ring everything off sim(ly $y virtue of his (osition here. He might not. 8ight now Andy was too tired and in too much (ain to care much. He was $arely a$le to get out of the car/ a( had to take his arm to steady him. He was dimly aware that the cold autumn dri==le felt good against his face. The two men from the .iscayne looked at him with a kind of cold disgust. 3ne of them was 'on Jules. Jules was wearing a $lue sweatshirt that read >.S. 3L"1,I '8I!0I!2 T4A1. 2et a good look at the stoned fat man, Andy thought groggily. He was close to tears again, and his $reath $egan to catch and hitch in his throat. "ou get a good look now, $ecause if the fat guy gets away this time, he&s going to $low this whole rotten cess(ool right out of the swam(. &There, there,& a( said, and (atted him on the shoulder with (atroni=ing and (erfunctory sym(athy. Just do your +o$, Andy thought, holding on grimly against the tears/ he would not cry in front of them again, none of them. Just do your +o$, you son of a $itch. D .ack in his a(artment, Andy stum$led to his $ed, hardly aware of what he was doing, and fell aslee(. He lay like a dead thing for the ne-t si- hours, while $lood see(ed from a minute ru(ture in his $rain and a num$er of $rain cells grew white and died. When he woke u(, it was ten o&clock in the evening. The headache was still raging. His hands went to his face. The num$ s(ots * one $elow his left eye, one on his left cheek$one, and one +ust $elow the +aw$one * were $ack. This time they were $igger. I can&t (ush it much further without killing myself, he thought, and knew it was true. .ut he would hold on long enough to see this through, to give harlie her chance, if he (ossi$ly could. Somehow he would hold on that long. He went to the $athroom and got a glass of water. Then he lay down again, and after a long time, slee( returned. His last waking thought was that harlie must have read his note $y now. K a( Hollister had had an e-tremely $usy day since getting $ack from Herm ,ynchot&s funeral. He had no more than got settled into his office when his secretary $rought him an interde(artmental memo marked >824!T. It was from ,at Hockstetter. a( told her to get him <ic ,uckeridge on the (hone and settled $ack to read the memo. I should get out more often, he thought/ it aerates the $rain cells or something. It had occurred to him on the ride $ack that there was really no sense waiting a whole week to shi( 1c2ee off to 1aui/ this Wednesday would $e (lenty late enough.
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Then the memo ca(tured his whole attention. It was miles from Hockstetter&s usual cool and rather $aro5ue style/ in fact, it was couched in nearly hysterical (ur(le (rose, and a( thought with some amusement that the.kid must have really hit Hockstetter with the chicken*stick. Hit him hard. What it came down to was that harlie had dug in her heels. It had come sooner than they had e-(ected, that was all. 1ay$e * no, (ro$a$ly * even sooner than 8ain$ird had e-(ected. Well, they would let it lie for a few days and then . . . then . . . His train of throught $roke u(. His eyes took on a faraway, slightly (u==led cast. In his mind he saw a golf clu$, a five iron, whistling down and connecting solidly with a S(alding $all. He could hear that low, whistling whhoooo( sound. Then the $all was gone, high and white against the $lue sky. .ut it was slicing . . . slicing . . . His $row cleared. What had he $een thinking of) It wasn&t like him to wander off the su$+ect like that. harlie had dug in her heels/ that was what he had $een thinking. Well, that was all right. !othing to get $ent out of sha(e a$out. They would let her alone for a while, until the weekend may$e, and then they could use 8ain$ird on her. She would light a lot of fires to kee( 8ain$ird out of dutch. His hand stole to his $reast (ocket and felt the small (a(er folded in there. In his mind he heard the soft swinging sound of a golf clu$ again/ it seemed to rever$erate in the office. .ut now it was not a whhoooo( sound. It was a 5uiet ssssssss, almost the sound of a . . . a snake. That was un(leasant. He had always found snakes un(leasant, ever since earliest childhood. With an effort, he swe(t all this. foolishness a$out snakes and golf clu$s from his mind. ,erha(s the funeral had u(set him more than he had thought. The intercom $u==ed and his secretary told him ,uck was on line one. a( (icked u( the (hone and after some small talk asked ,uck if there would $e a (ro$lem if they decided to move the 1aui shi(ment u( from Saturday to Wednesday. ,uck checked and said he saw no (ro$lem there at all. &Say, around three in the afternoon)& &!o (ro$lem,& ,uck re(eated. &Just don&t move it u( anymore, or we&ll $e in the $ucket. This (lace is getting worse than the freeway at rush hour.& &!o, this is solid,& a( said. &And here&s something else; I&m going along. .ut you kee( that under your hat, okay)& ,uck $urst into hearty $aritone laughter. &A little sun, fun, and grass skirts)& &Why not)& a( agreed. &I&m escorting a valua$le (iece of cargo. I could +ustify myself in front of a Senate committee if I had to, I think. And I haven&t had a real vacation since %CKH. The goddamned Ara$s and their oil $itched u( the last week of that one.& &I&ll kee( it to myself,& ,uck agreed. &"ou going to (lay some golf while you&re out there) I know of at least two great courses on 1aui.& a( fell silent. He looked thoughtfully at the to( of his desk, through it. The (hone sagged away from his ear slightly. & a() "ou there)& Low and definite and ominous in this small, co=y study; Sssssssssss &Shit, I think we $een cut off,& ,uck muttered. & a() a * & &"ou still slicing the $all, old $uddy)& a( asked. ,uck laughed. &"ou kidding) When I die, they&re going to $ury me in the fucking rough. Thought I lost you for a minute there.& &I&m right here,& a( said. &,uck, are there snakes in Hawaii)& !ow it was ,uck&s turn to (ause. &Say again)& &Snakes. ,oisonous snakes.&.&I . . . gee, damn if I know. I can check it for you if it&s im(ortant . . .& ,uck&s du$ious tone seemed to im(ly that a( em(loyed a$out five thousand s(ooks to check +ust such things. &!o, that&s okay,& a( said. He held the tele(hone firmly against his ear again. &Just thinking out loud, I guess. 1ay$e I&m getting old.& &!ot you, a(. There&s too much vam(ire in you.& &"eah, may$e. Thanks, good$uddy.& &!o trou$le at all. 2lad you&re getting away for a $it. !o$ody deserves it more than you, after the last year you&ve (ut in.& He meant 2eorgia, of course/ he didn&t know a$out the 1c2ees. Which meant, a( thought wearily, that he didn&t know the half of it. He started to say good*$ye and then added, &.y the way, ,uck, where will that (lane $e sto((ing to refuel) Any idea)& &'ur$an, Illinois,& ,uck said (rom(tly. &3utside hicago.& a( thanked him, said good*$ye, hung u(. His fingers went to the note in his (ocket again and touched it. His eye fell on Hockstetter&s memo. It sounded as if the girl had $een (retty u(set, too. ,erha(s it wouldn&t hurt if he went down and s(oke to her, stroked her a little. He leaned forward and thum$ed the intercom. &"es, a()& &I&ll $e going downstairs for a while,& he said. &I should $e $ack in thirty minutes or so.& &<ery good.& He got u( and left the study. As he did so, his hand stole to his $reast (ocket and felt the note there again. A harlie lay on her $ed fifteen minutes after a( left, her mind in a total whirl of dismay, fear, and confused s(eculation. She literally didn&t know what to think. He had come at 5uarter of five, half an hour ago, and had introduced himself as a(tain Hollister 9&$ut (lease +ust call me a(/ everyone does&:. He had a kindly, shrewd face that reminded her a little of the illustrations in The Wind in the Willows. It was a face she had seen somewhere recently, $ut she hadn&t $een a$le to (lace it until a( +ogged her memory. It had $een he who had taken her $ack to her rooms after the first test, when
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the man in the white suit had $olted, leaving the door o(en. She had $een so much in a fog of shock, guilt, and * yes * e-hilarated trium(h that it was really no wonder she hadn&t $een a$le to (lace his face. ,ro$a$ly she could have $een escorted $ack to her a(artment $y 2ene Simmons of 0iss without noticing it. He talked in a smooth, convincing way that she immediately mistrusted. He told her Hockstetter was concerned $ecause she had declared the testing at an end until she saw her father. harlie agreed that was so and would say no more, maintaining a stu$$orn silence . . . mostly out of fear. If you discussed your reasons for things with a smooth talker like this a(, he would stri( those reasons away one $y one until it seemed that $lack was white and white $lack. The $are demand was $etter. Safer. .ut he had sur(rised her. &If that&s the way you feel, okay,& he had said. The e-(ression of sur(rise on her face.must have $een slightly comical, $ecause he chuckled. &It will take a $it of arranging, $ut *& At the words &a $it of arranging,& her face closed u( again. &!o more fires,& she said. &!o more tests. 4ven if it takes you ten years to Earrange& it.& &3h, I don&t think it will take that long,& he had said, not offended. &It&s +ust that I have (eo(le to answer to, harlie. And a (lace like this runs on (a(erwork. .ut you don&t have to light so much as a candle while I&m setting it u(.& &2ood,& she said stonily, not $elieving him, not $elieving he was going to set anything u(. &.ecause I won&t.& &I think I ought to $e a$le to arrange it . . . $y Wednesday. "es, $y Wednesday, for sure.& He had fallen suddenly silent. His head cocked slightly, as if he were listening to something +ust a $it too high*(itched for her to hear. harlie looked at him, (u==led, was a$out to ask if he was all right, and then closed her mouth with a sna(. There was& something . . . something almost familiar a$out the way he was sitting. &'o you really think I could see him on Wednesday)& she asked timidly. &"es, I think so,& a( said. He shifted in his chair and sighed heavily. His eye caught hers and he smiled a (u==led little smile . . . also familiar. A(ro(os of nothing at all, he said; &"our dad (lays a mean game of golf, I hear.& harlie $linked. So far as she knew, her father had never touched a golf clu$ in his life. She got ready to say so . . . and then it came together in her mind and a di==ying $urst of $ewildered e-citement ran through her. 91r. 1erle7 He&s like 1r. 1erle7: 1r. 1erle had $een one of 'addy&s e-ecutives when they were in !ew "ork. Just a little man with light*$lond hair and (ink*rimmed glasses and a sweet, shy smile. He had come to get more confidence, like the rest of them. He worked in an insurance com(any or a $ank or something. And 'addy had $een very worried a$out 1r. 1erle for a while. It was a &rick*o*shay.& It came from using the (ush. It had something to do with a story 1r. 1erle had read once. The (ush 'addy used to give 1r. 1erle more confidence made him remem$er that story in a $ad way, a way that was making him sick. 'addy said the &rick*o*shay& came from that story and it was $ouncing around in 1r. 1erle&s head like a tennis $all, only instead of finally sto((ing the way a $ouncing tennis $all would, the memory of that story would get stronger and stronger until it made 1r. 1erle very sick. 3nly harlie had got the idea that 'addy was afraid it might do more than make 1r. 1erle sick/ he was afraid it might kill him. So he had ke(t 1r. 1erle after the others left one night and (ushed him into $elieving he had never read that story at all. And after that, 1r. 1erle was all right. 'addy told her once that he ho(ed 1r. 1erle would never go to see a movie called The 'eer Hunter, $ut he didn&t e-(lain why. .ut $efore 'addy fi-ed him u(, 1r. 1erle had looked like a( did now. She was suddenly (ositive that her father had (ushed this man, and the e-citement in her was like a tornado. After hearing nothing a$out him e-ce(t for the sort of general re(orts John sometimes $rought her, after not seeing him or knowing where he was, it was in a strange way as if her father were suddenly in this room with her, telling her it was all right and that he was near. a( suddenly stood u(. &Well, I&ll $e going now. .ut I&ll $e seeing you, harlie. And.don&t worry.& She wanted to tell him not to go, to tell her a$out her dad, where he was, if he was okay . . . $ut her tongue was rooted to the $ottom of her mouth. a( went to the door, then (aused. &3h, almost forgot.& He crossed the room to her, took a folded (iece of (a(er from his $reast (ocket, and handed it to her. She took it num$ly, looked at it, and (ut it in her ro$e (ocket. &And when you&re out riding that horse, you watch out for snakes,& he said confidentially. &If a horse sees a snake, he is going to $olt. 4very time. He&ll * & He $roke off, raised a hand to his tem(le, and ru$$ed it. 6or a moment, he looked old and distracted. Then he shook his head a little, as if dismissing the thought. He $id her good*$ye and left. harlie stood there for a long moment after he was gone. Then she took out the note, unfolded it, read what was written there and everything changed. C harlie, love * 6irst thing; When you finish reading this, flush it down the toilet, okay) Second thing; If everything goes the way I&m (lanning * the way I ho(e * we&ll $e out of here ne-t Wednesday. The man who gave you this note is on our team, although he doesn&t know he is . . . get it) Third thing; I want you to $e in the sta$les on Wednesday afternoon at one o&clock. I don&t care how you do it * make another fire for them if that&s what it takes. .ut $e there. 6ourth, most im(ortant thing; 'on&t trust this man John 8ain$ird. This may u(set you.
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I know you have trusted him. .ut he is a very dangerous man, harlie. !o way anyone&s going to $lame you for your trust in him * Hollister says he has $een convincing enough to win an Academy Award. .ut know this; he was in charge of the men who took us (risoner at 2ranther&s (lace. I ho(e this doesn&t u(set you too much, $ut knowing how you are, it (ro$a$ly will. It&s no fun to find out that someone has $een using you for his own (ur(oses. Listen, harlie; if 8ain$ird comes around * and he (ro$a$ly will * it is very im(ortant for him to think your feelings toward him haven&t changed. He will $e out of our way on Wednesday afternoon. We are going to Los Angeles or hicago, harlie, and I think I know a way to arrange a (ress conference for us. I have an old friend named @uincey I&m counting on to hel( us, and I $elieve * I must $elieve * that he will come through for us if I can get in touch with him. A (ress conference would mean that the whole country would know a$out us. They may still want to kee( us some(lace, $ut we can $e together. I ho(e you still want that as much as I do. This wouldn&t $e so $ad e-ce(t that they want you to make fires for all the wrong reasons. If you have any dou$ts at all a$out running again, remem$er it is for the last time . . . and that it is what your mother would have wanted. I miss you, harlie, and love you lots. 'ad..%G John) John in charge of the men that shot her and her father with tran5uili=er darts) John) She rolled her head from side to side. The feeling of desolation in her, the heart$reak, seemed too great to $e contained. There was no answer to this cruel dilemma. If she $elieved her father, she had to $elieve that John had $een tricking her all along only to get her to agree to their tests. If she continued to $elieve in John, then the note she had crum(led and flushed down the toilet was a lie with her father&s name signed to it. 4ither way, the hurt, the cost, was enormous. Was this what $eing grownu( was a$out) 'ealing with that hurt) That cost) If it was, she ho(ed she would die young. She remem$ered looked u( from !ecromancer that first time and seeing John&s smile . . . something in that smile that she didn&t like. She remem$ered that she had never got any real feeling from him, as if he were closed off, or . . . or . . . She tried to shunt the thought aside. 9or dead inside: $ut it would not $e shunted. .ut he wasn&t like that. He wasn&t. His terror in the $lackout. His story a$out what those ong had done to him. ould that $e a lie) ould it, with the ruined ma( of his face to $ack u( the tale) Her head went $ack and forth on the (illow, $ack and forth, $ack and forth, in an endless gesture of negation. She did not want to think a$out it, did not, did not. .ut couldn&t hel( it. Su((ose . . . su((ose they had made the $lackout ha((en) 3r su((ose it had +ust ha((ened . . . and he had used it) 9!37 !37 !37 !37: And yet her mind was now out of her conscious control, and it circled this maddening, horrifying (atch of nettles with a kind of ine-ora$le, cold determination. She was a $right girl, and she handled her chain of logic carefully, one $ead at a time, telling it as a $itter (enitent must tell the terri$le $eads of utter confession and surrender. She remem$ered a T< show she had seen once, it had $een on Starsky and Hutch. They (ut this co( into +ail in the same cell with this $ad guy who knew all a$out a ro$$ery. They had called the co( (retending to $e a +ail$ird a &ringer.& Was John 8ain$ird a ringer) Her father said he was. And why would her father lie to her) Who do you $elieve in) John or 'addy) 'addy or John) !o, no, no, her mind re(eated steadily, monotonously . . . and to no effect. She was caught in a torture of dou$t that no eight*year*old girl should have to stand, and when slee( came, the dream came with it. 3nly this time she saw the face of the silhouette, which stood to $lock the light. %% &All right, what is it)& Hockstetter asked grum(ily..His tone indicated that it had $etter $e (retty goddam good. He had $een home watching James .ond on the Sunday !ight 1ovie when the (hone rang and a voice told him that they had a (otential (ro$lem with the little girl. 3ver an o(en line, Hockstetter didn&t dare ask what the (ro$lem was. He +ust went as he was, in a (air of (aint*s(lattered +eans and a tennis shirt. He had come frightened, chewing a 8olaid to com$at the $oil of sour acid in his stomach. He had kissed his wife good*$ye, answering her raised eye$rows $y saying it was a slight (ro$lem with some of the e5ui(ment and he would $e right $ack. He wondered what she would say if she knew the &slight (ro$lem& could kill him at any moment. Standing here now, looking into the ghostly infrared monitor, they used to watch harlie when the lights were out, he wished again that this was over and the little girl out of the way. He had never $argained for this when the whole thing was +ust an academic (ro$lem outlined in a series of $lue folders. The truth was the $urning cinder$lock wall/ the truth was s(ot tem(eratures of thirty thousand degrees or more/ the truth was .rad Hyuck talking a$out whatever forces fired the engine of the universe/ and the truth was that he was very scared. He felt as if he were sitting on to( of an unsta$le nuclear reactor. The man on duty, !eary, swung around when Hockstetter came in. & a( came down to visit her around five,& he said. &She turned her nose u( at su((er. Went to $ed early.&
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Hockstetter looked into the monitor. harlie was tossing restlessly on to( of her $ed, fully dressed. &She looks like may$e she&s having a nightmare.& &3ne, or a whole series of them,& !eary said grimly. &I called $ecause the tem(erature in there has gone u( three degrees in the last hour.& &That&s not much.& &It is when a room&s tem(erature*controlled the way that one is. !ot much dou$t that she&s doing it. Hockstetter considered this, $iting on a knuckle. &I think someone should go in there and wake her u(,& !eary said, finally drifting down to the $ottom line. &Is that what you got me down here for)& Hockstetter cried. &To wake u( a kid and give her a glass of warm milk)& &I didn&t want to e-ceed my authority,& !eary said stonily. &!o.& Hockstetter said, and had to $ite down on the rest of the words. The little girl would have to $e wakened if the tem(erature went much higher, and there was always a chance that if she was frightened enough, she might strike out at the first (erson she saw u(on waking. After all, they had $een $usy removing the checks and $alances on her (yrokinetic a$ility and had $een 5uite successful. &Where&s 8ain$ird)& he asked. !eary shrugged. &Whi((ing his weasel in Winni(eg, for all I know. .ut as far as she&s concerned, he&s of duty. I think she&d $e (retty sus(icious if he showed u( n * & The digital thermometer inset on !eary&s control $oard flicked over another degree, hesitated, and then flicked over two more in 5uick succession. &Some$ody&s got to go in there,& !eary said, and now his voice was a $it unsteady. &It&s seventy*four in there now. What if she $lows sky*high)& Hockstetter tried to think what to do, $ut his $rain seemed fro=en. He was sweating freely now, $ut his mouth had gone as dry as a woolly sock. He wanted to $e $ack home,.ti((ed $ack in his La*J*.oy, watching James .ond go after S148SH or whatever the hell it was. He didn&t want to $e here. He didn&t want to $e looking at the red num$ers under the little s5uare of glass, waiting for them to suddenly $lur u(wards in tens, thirties, hundreds, as they had when the cinder$lock wall Think7 he screamed at himself. What do you do) What do you * &She +ust woke u(,& !eary said softly. They $oth stared intently at the monitor. harlie had swung her legs over onto the floor and was sitting with her head down, her (alms on her cheeks, her hair o$scuring her face. After a moment she got u( and went into the $athroom, face $lank, eyes mostly closed * more aslee( than awake, Hockstetter guessed. !eary flicked a switch and the $athroom monitor came on. !ow the (icture was clear and shar( in the light of the fluorescent $ar. Hockstetter e-(ected her to urinate, $ut harlie +ust stood inside the door, looking at the toilet. &3h 1other of 1ary, look at that,& !eary murmured. The water in the toilet $owl had $egun to steam slightly. This went on for more than a minute 9one*twenty*one in !eary&s log:, and then harlie went to the toilet, flushed it, urinated, flushed it again, drank two glasses of water, and went $ack to $ed. This time her slee( seemed easier, dee(er. Hockstetter glanced at the thermometer and saw it had dro((ed four degrees. As he watched, it dro((ed another degree, to si-ty*nine*+ust one degree a$ove the suite&s normal tem(erature. He remained with !eary until after midnight. &I&m going home to $ed. "ou&ll get this written u(, won&t you)& &That&s what I get (aid for,& !eary said stolidly. Hockstetter went home. The ne-t day he wrote a memo suggesting that any further gains in knowledge that further testing might (rovide ought to $e $alanced against the (otential ha=ards, which in his o(inion were growing too fast for comfort. %? harlie remem$ered little of the night. She remem$ered $eing hot, getting u(, getting rid of the heat. She remem$ered the dream $ut only vaguely * a sense of freedom. 9u( ahead was the light * the end of the forest, o(en land where she and !ecromancer would ride forever: mingled with a sense of fear and a sense of loss. It had $een his face, it had $een John&s face, all along. And (erha(s she had known it. ,erha(s she had known that 9the woods are $urning don&t hurt the horses o (lease don&t hurt the horses: all along. When she woke u( the ne-t morning, her fear, confusion, and desolation had $egun their (erha(s inevita$le change into a $right, hard gem of anger. He $etter $e out of the way on Wednesday, she thought. He +ust $etter. If it&s true a$out what he did, he $etter not come near me or 'addy on Wednesday. %H.Late that morning 8ain$ird came in, rolling his wagon of cleaning (roducts, mo(s, s(onges, and rags. His white orderly&s uniform fla((ed softly around him. &Hi, harlie,& he said. harlie was on the sofa, looking at a (icture $ook. She glanced u(, her face (ale and unsmiling in that first moment . . . cautious. The skin seemed stretched too tightly over her cheek$ones. Then she smiled. .ut it was not, 8ain$ird thought, her usual smile. &Hello, John.& &"ou don&t look so great this morning, harlie, you should forgive me for sayin.& &I didn&t slee( very well.& &3h yeah)& He knew she hadn&t. That fool Hockstetter was almost foaming at the mouth $ecause she&d (o((ed the tem(erature five or si- degrees in her slee(. &I&m sorry to hear that. Is it your dad)& &I guess so.& She closed her $ook and stood u(. &I think I&ll go and lie down for a while. I
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+ust don&t feel like talking or anything.& &Sure. 2otcha.& He watched her go, and when the $edroom door had clicked shut, he went into the kitchen to fill his floor$ucket. Something a$out the way she had looked at him. The smile. He didn&t like it. She&d had a $ad night, yes, okay. 4veryone has them from time to time, and the ne-t morning you sna( at your wife or stare right through the (a(er or whatever. Sure. .ut . . . something inside had $egun to +angle an alarm. It had $een weeks since she had looked at him that way. She hadn&t come to him this morning, eager and glad to see him, and he didn&t like that, either. She had ke(t her own s(ace today. It distur$ed him. 1ay$e it was +ust the aftermath of a $ad night, and may$e the $ad dreams of the night $efore had +ust $een caused $y something she ate, $ut it distur$ed him all the same. And there was something else ni$$ling at him; a( had $een down to see her late yesterday afternoon. He had never done that $efore. 8ain$ird set down his $ucket and hooked the mo( s5ueegee over its rim. He dunked the mo(, wrung it out, and $egan to mo( the floor in long, slow strokes. His mauled face was calm and at rest. Have you $een (utting a knife in my $ack, a() 6igure you&ve got enough) 3r may$e you +ust went chickenshit on me. If that last was true, then he had $adly mis+udged a(. Hockstetter was one thing. Hockstetter&s e-(erience with Senate committees and su$committees was almost =ilch/ a (iddle here and a (iddle there. orro$orative stuff; He could allow himself the lu-ury of indulging his fear. a( couldn&t. a( would know there was no such thing as sufficient evidence, es(ecially when you were dealing with something as (otentially e-(losive 9(un certainly intended: as harlie 1c2ee. And it wasn&t +ust funding a( would $e asking for/ when he got $efore that closed session, the most dread and mystic of all $ureaucratic (hrases would fall from his li(s; long*term funding. And in the $ackground, lurking uns(oken $ut (otent, the im(lication of eugenics. 8ain$ird guessed that in the end, a( would find it im(ossi$le to avoid having a grou( of senators down here to watch harlie (erform. 1ay$e they should $e allowed to $ring their kids, 8ain$ird thought, mo((ing and rinsing. .etter than the trained dol(hins at Sea World. a( would know he needed all the hel( he could get. So why had he come to see her last night) Why was he rocking the $oat).8ain$ird s5uee=ed his mo( and watched dirty gray water run $ack into the $ucket. He looked through the o(en kitchen door at the closed door of harlie&s $edroom. She had shut him out and he didn&t like that. It made him very, very nervous. %B 3n that early 3cto$er 1onday night, a moderate windstorm came u( from the 'ee( South, sending $lack clouds flying raggedly across a full moon that lolled (regnantly +ust a$ove the hori=on. The first leaves fell, rattling across the neatly manicured lawns and grounds for the indefatiga$le cor(s of groundskee(ers to remove in the morning. Some of them swirled into the duck(ond, where they floated like small $oats. Autumn had come to <irginia again. In his 5uarters, Andy was watching T< and still getting over his headache. The num$ s(ots on his face had diminished in si=e $ut had not disa((eared. He could only ho(e he would $e ready $y Wednesday afternoon. If things worked as he had (lanned, he could kee( the num$er of times he would have to actively (ush to a $are minimum. If harlie had got his note, and if she was a$le to meet him at the sta$les across the way . . . then she would $ecome his (ush, his lever, his wea(on. Who was going to argue with him when he had the e5uivalent of a nuclear rifle in his (ossession) a( was at home in Longmont Hills. As on the night 8ain$ird had visited him, he had a snifter of $randy, and music was coming from the stereo at low volume. ho(in tonight. a( was sitting on the couch. Across the room, leaning $elow a (air of van 2ogh (rints, was his old and scuffed golf $ag. He had fetched it from the $asement, where a rickrack of s(orts e5ui(ment had $uilt u( over the twelve years he had lived here with 2eorgia, while not on assignment somewhere else in the world. He had $rought the golf $ag into the living room $ecause he couldn&t seem to get golf off his mind lately. 2olf, or snakes. He had $rought the golf $ag u( meaning to take out each of the irons and his two (utters and look them over, touch them, see if that wouldn&t ease his mind. And then one of the irons had seemed to . . . well, it was funny 9ridiculous, in fact:, $ut one of the irons had seemed to move. As if it wasn&t a golf clu$ at all $ut a snake, a (oison snake that had crawled in there * a( dro((ed the $ag against the wall and scuttled away. Half a glass of $randy had sto((ed the minute shakes in his hands. .y the time he finished the glass, he might $e a$le to tell himself they had never trem$led at all. He started the glass on its way to his mouth and then halted. There it was again7 1ovement . . . or +ust a trick of his eyes) Trick of his eyes, most definitely. There were no snakes in his damned golf $ag. Just clu$s he hadn&t $een using enough lately. Too $usy. And he was a (retty good golfer, too. !o !icklaus or Tom Watson, hell no, $ut he could kee( it on the course. !ot always slicing, like ,uck. a( didn&t like to slice the $all, $ecause then you were in the rough, the tall grass, and sometimes there were * 2et hold of yourself. Just get hold of yourself. Is you still the a(tain or is you ain&t) The trem$ling was $ack in his fingers again. What had done this) What in 2od&s name.had done this) Sometimes it seemed that there was an e-(lanation, a (erfectly reasona$le one * something, (erha(s, that someone had said and he +ust . . . couldn&t remem$er. .ut at other times
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9like now Jesus hrist like now: it felt as if he were on the verge of a nervous $reakdown. It felt as if his $rain was $eing (ulled a(art like warm tafy $y these alien thoughts he couldn&t get rid of. 9is you the a(tain or is you ain&t): a( suddenly threw his $randy glass into the fire(lace, where it shattered like a $om$. A strangled sound * a so$ * esca(ed his tight throat like something rotten that had to $e sicked u( whatever the misera$le cost. Then he made himself cross the room 9and he went at a drunken, stiltlike lurch:, gra$ the stra( of his golf $ag 9again something seemed to move and shift in there . . . to shiffffft . . . and hissssss: and sli( it over his shoulder. He hauled it $ack into the shadow*dra(ed cavern of the cellar, going on nothing $ut guts, dro(s of sweat (erched huge and clear on his forehead. His face was fro=en in a grimace of fear and determination. !othing there $ut golf clu$s, nothing there $ut golf clu$s, his mind chanted over and over again, and at every ste( of the way he e-(ected something long and $rown, something with $eady $lack eyes and small shar( fangs dri((ing (oison, to slither out of the $ag and +a$ twin hy(os of death into his neck. .ack in his own living room he felt much $etter. 4-ce(t for a nagging headache, he felt much $etter. He could think coherently again. . Almost. He got drunk. And in the morning he felt $etter again. 6or a while. %I 8ain$ird s(ent that windy 1onday night gathering information. 'istur$ing information. 6irst he went in and talked to !eary, the man who had $een watching the monitors when a( (aid his visit to harlie the night $efore. &I want to see the videota(es,& 8ain$ird said. !eary didn&t argue. He set 8ain$ird u( in a small room down the hall with the Sunday ta(es and a Sony deck com(lete with close*u( and free=e*frame features. !eary was glad to $e rid of him and only ho(ed that 8ain$ird wouldn&t $e coming $ack and wanting something else. The girl was $ad enough. 8ain$ird, in his own re(tilian way, was somehow worse. The ta(es were three*hour Scotch +o$s, marked from GGGG to GHGG and so on. 8ain$ird found the one with a( on it and watched it four times, not moving e-ce(t to rewind the ta(e at the (oint where a(. said/ &Well, I&ll $e going now. .ut I&ll $e seeing you, harlie. And don&t worry.& .ut there was (lenty in that ta(e that worried John 8ain$ird. He. didn&t like the way a( looked. He seemed to have got older/ at times while he was talking to harlie he seemed to lose the thread of what he was saying, like a man on the.edge of senility. His eyes had a vague, $emused look that was uncannily similar to the look 8ain$ird associated with the onset of com$at fatigue, which a comrade*in*arms had once a(tly du$$ed The .rain S5uitters and Trots. I think I ought to $e a$le to arrange it . . . $y Wednesday. "es, $y Wednesday, for sure. !ow why in the name of 2od had he said that) Setting u( an e-(ectation like that in the kid&s mind was the surest way 8ain$ird could think of to $low further testing right out of the water. The o$vious conclusion was that a( was (laying his own little game * intriguing in the $est Sho( tradition. .ut 8ain$ird didn&t $elieve it. a( didn&t look like a man engaged in an intrigue. He looked like a man who was (rofoundly fucked u(. That remark a$out harlie&s father (laying golf, for instance. That had come right out of left field. It $ore on nothing they had said $efore and nothing they said afterward. 8ain$ird toyed $riefly with the idea that it was some sort of code (hrase, $ut that was (atently ridiculous. a( knew that everything that went on in harlie&s rooms was monitored and recorded, su$+ect to almost constant review. He was ca(a$le of disguising a tri( (hrase $etter than that. A remark a$out golf. It +ust hung there, irrelevant and (u==ling. And then there was the last thing. 8ain$ird (layed it over and over. a( (auses. 3h, almost forgot. And then he hands her something that she looks at curiously and then (uts away in the (ocket of her ro$e. With 8ain$ird&s finger on the $uttons of the Sony < 8, a( said 3h, almost forgot half a do=en times. He (assed the thing to her half a do=en times. At first 8ain$ird thought it was a stick of gum, and then he used the free=e*frame and =oom gadgets. That convinced him that it was, very likely, a note. a(, what the fuck are you u( to) %D He s(ent the rest of that night and the early hours of Tuesday morning at a com(uter console, calling u( every scra( of information he could think of on harlie 1c2ee, trying to make out some kind of (attern. And there was nothing. His head $egan to ache from eyestrain. He was getting u( to shut of the lights when a sudden thought, a totally off*the*wall connection, occurred to him. It had to do not with harlie $ut with the (ortly, drugged * out ci(her that was her father. ,ynchot. ,ynchot had $een in charge of Andy 1c2ee, and last week Herman ,ynchot had killed himself in one of the most grisly ways 8ain$ird could imagine. 3$viously un$alanced. rackers. Toys in the attic. a( takes Andy to the funeralmay$e a little strange when you really sto((ed to think a$out it, $ut in no way remarka$le. The a( starts to act a little weird * talking a$out golf and (assing notes. That&s ridiculous. He&s ti((ed over. 8ain$ird stood with his hand on the light switches. The com(uter*console screen
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glowed a dull green, the color of a freshly dug emerald. Who says he&s ti((ed over) Him) There was another strange thing here as well, 8ain$ird suddenly reali=ed. ,ynchot had given u( on Andy, had decided to send him to the 1aui com(ound. If there was nothing.Andy could do that would demonstrate what Lot Si- was ca(a$le of, there was no reason to kee( him around at all . . . and it would $e safer to se(arate him from harlie. 6ine. .ut then ,ynchot a$ru(tly changes his mind and decides to schedule another run of tests. Then ,ynchot decides to clean out the gar$age dis(osal . . . while it&s still running. 8ain$ird walked $ack to the com(uter console. He (aused, thinking, than ta((ed H4LL3 31,>T48#@>48" STAT>S A!'84W 1 244 %B%%?#6>8TH48 T4STI!2#1A>I I!STALLATI3!#@B ,83 4SS, the com(uter flashed. And a moment later; H4LL3 8AI!.I8'#A!'84W 1 244 %B%%? !3 6>8TH48 T4STI!2#A>TH38IJATI3!# &STA8LI!2&#S H4'>L4' '4,A8T>84 638 1A>I %IGG H3>8S 3 T3.48 C#A>TH38IJATI3! &STA8LI!2&#A!'84WS A6.*'>8.A! 9ILL: A6.0ALA1I AI86I4L' 9HI:#.84A0 8ain$ird glanced at his watch. 3cto$er C was Wednesday. Andy was leaving Longmont for Hawaii tomorrow afternoon. Who said so) Authori=ation Starling said so, and that was a( himself. .ut this was the first 8ain$ird knew of it. His fingers danced over the keys again. @>48" ,83.A.ILIT" A!'84W 1 244 %B%%?#S>,,3S4' 14!TAL '31I!ATI3! A.ILIT"# 83SS*846 H4813! ,"! H3T He had to (ause to look u( ,ynchot&s code num$er in the $attered and sweat*stained code $ook he had folded into his $ack (ocket $efore coming down here. %BBGC @B ,83 4SS, the com(uter re(lied, and then remained $lank so long that 8ain$ird $egan to think that he had mis*(rogrammed and would end u( with nothing $ut a &DGC& for his trou$le. Then the com(uter flashed A!'84W 1 244 %B%%?#14!TAL '31I!ATI3! ,83.A.ILIT" HIQ# 83SS*846 H481A! ,"! H3T#.84A0 Thirty*five (ercent) How was that (ossi$le) All right, 8ain$ird thought. Let&s leave ,ynchot out of the goddam e5uation and see what ha((ens. He ta((ed out @>48" ,83.A.ILIT" A!'84W 1 244 %B%%?#S>,,3S4' 14!TAL '31I!ATI3! A.ILIT" @B ,83 4SS, the com(uter flashed, and this time its res(onse came within a s(ace of fifteen seconds. A!'84W 1 244 %B%%?#14!TAL '31I!ATI3! ,83.A.ILIT" ?Q# .84A0 8ain$ird leaned $ack and closed his good eye and felt a kind of trium(h through the sour thud in his head. He had asked the im(ortant 5uestions $ackward, $ut that was the (rice humans (aid for their intuitive lea(s, lea(s a com(uter knew nothing a$out, even though it had $een (rogrammed to say &Hello,& &2ood*$ye,& &I am sorry R(rogrammer&sS name,& &That is too $ad,& and &3h shit.& The com(uter didn&t $elieve there was much of a (ro$a$ility Andy had retained his mentaldomination a$ility . . . until you added in the ,ynchot factor. Then the (ercent +um(ed halfway to the moon. He ta((ed @>48" WH" S>,,3S4' 14!TAL '31I!ATI3! A.ILIT" A!'84W 1 244 %B%%? 9,83.A.ILIT": 8IS4S 6831 ?Q to HIQ WH4! 83SS*846484! 4' W#H481A! ,"! H3T %BBGC @B.,83 4SS, the com(uter answered, and then; H481A! ,"! H3T %BBGC A'J>'24' S>I I'4# ,83.A.ILIT" TA04S I!T3 A 3>!T A!'84W 1 244 %B%%? 1A" HA<4 A>S4' S>I I'4# 14!TAL '31I!ATI3!#.84A0 There it was, right here in the $anks of the $iggest and most so(histicated com(uter in the Western Hemis(here. 3nly waiting for someone to ask it the right 5uestions. Su((ose I feed it what I sus(ect a$out a( as a certainty) 8ain$ird wondered, and decided to go ahead and do it. He dragged out his code $ook again and looked u( a(&s num$er. 6IL4, he ta((ed. A,TAI! JA14S H3LLIST48 %DGBG#ATT4!'4' 6>!48AL 36 H481A! ,"! H3T %BBGC W#A!'84W 1 244 %B%%? 6B 6IL4', the com(uter returned. 6IL4, 8ain$ird ta((ed $ack. A,TAI! JA14S H3LLIST48 %DGBG# >884!TL" SH3WI!2 SI2!S 36 284AT 14!TAL ST84SS 6B DGC, the com(uter returned. It a((arently didn&t know &mental stress& from &Shinola.& &.ite my $ag,& 8ain$ird muttered, and tried again. 6IL4# A,TAI! JA14S H3LLIST48 %DGBG# >884!TL" .4HA<I!2 3>!T48 T3 'I84 TI<4S 846 HA8L4!4 1 244 %B%%% 6B 6IL4' &6ile it, you whore,& 8ain$ird said. &Let&s see a$out this.& His fingers went $ack to the keys. @>48" ,83.A.ILIT" A!'84W 1 244 %B%%?# S>,,3S4' 14!TAL '31I!ATI3! A.ILIT"# 83SS*846 H481A! ,"! H3T %BBGC# 83SS*846 A,TAI! JA14S H3LLIST48 %DGBG @B ,83 4SS, the com(uter showed, and 8ain$ird sat $ack to wait, watching the screen. Two (ercent was too low. Thirty*five (ercent was still not $etting odds. .ut * The com(uter now flashed this; A!'84W 1 244 %B%%?#14!TAL '31I!ATI3! ,83.A.ILIT" CGQ# 83SS*846 H481A! ,"! H3T %BBGC# 83SS*846 A,TAI! JA14S H3LLIST48 %DGBG .84A0 !ow it was u( to ninety (ercent. And those were $etting odds.
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And two other things that John 8ain$ird would have $et on were, one, that what a( handed to the girl was indeed a note to harlie from her father and, two, that it contained some sort of esca(e (lan. &"ou dirty old son of a $itch,& John 8ain$ird murmured * not without admiration. ,ulling himself to the com(uter again, 8ain$ird ta((ed DGG 233'."4 31,>T48 DGG DGB 233'."4 8AI!.I8' DGB 8ain$ird turned off the key$oard and $egan to chuckle. %K 8ain$ird went $ack to the house where he was staying and fell aslee( with his clothes on. He woke u( +ust after noon on Tuesday and called a( to tell him he wouldn&t $e in that afternoon. He had come down with a $ad cold, (ossi$ly the onset of the gri((e, and he didn&t want to chance (assing it on to harlie. &Ho(e that won&t kee( you from going to San 'iego tomorrow,& a( said $riskly..&San 'iego)& &Three files,& a( said. &To( secret. I need a courier. "ou&re it. "our (lane leaves from Andrews at oh*seven*hundred tomorrow.& 8ain$ird thought fast. This was more of Andy 1c2ee&s work. 1c2ee knew a$out him. 3f course he did. That had $een in the note to harlie, along with whatever cra=y esca(e (lan 1c2ee had concocted. And that e-(lained why the girl had acted so strangely yesterday. 4ither going to Herman ,ynchot&s funeral or coming $ack, Andy had given a( a good hard shove and a( had s(illed his guts a$out everything. 1c2ee was scheduled to fly out of Andrews tomorrow afternoon/ now a( told him that he, 8ain$ird was going tomorrow morning. 1c2ee was using a( to get him safely out of the way first. He was * &8ain$ird) Are you there)& &I&m here,& he said. & an you send someone else) I feel (retty (unky, a(.& &!o one I trust as well as you,& a( re(lied. &This stuff is dynamite. We wouldn&t want . . . any snake in the grass to . . . to get it.& &'id you say Esnakes&)& 8ain$ird asked. &"es7 Snakes7& a( fairly screamed. 1c2ee had (ushed him, all right, and some sort of slow*motion avalanche was going on inside of a( Hollister. 8ain$ird suddenly had the feeling * no, the intuitive certainty * that if he refused a( and +ust ke(t hammering away, a( would $low u( . . . the way ,ynchot had $lown u(. 'id he want to do that) He decided he did not. &All right,& he said. &I&ll $e on the (lane. 3h*seven*hundred. And all the goddam anti$iotics I can swallow. "ou&re a $astard, a(.& &I can (rove my (arentage $eyond a shadow of a dou$t,& a( said, $ut the $adinage was forced and hollow. He sounded relieved and shaky. &"eah, I&ll $et.& &1ay$e you&ll get in a round of golf while you&re out there.& &I don&t (lay * & 2olf. He had mentioned golf to harlie as well * golf and snakes. Somehow those two things were (art of the weird merry*go*round 1c2ee had set in motion in a(&s $rain. &"es, may$e I will,& he said. &2et to Andrews $y oh*si-*thirty,& a( said, &and ask for 'ick 6olsom. He&s 1a+or ,uckeridge&s aide.& &All right,& 8ain$ird said. He had no intention of $eing anywhere near Andrews Air 6orce .ase tomorrow. &2ood*$ye, a(.& He hung u(, then sat on the $ed. He (ulled on his old desert $oots and started (lanning. %A H4LL3 31,>T48#@>48" STAT>S J3H! 8AI!.I8' %B???#A!'84W A6. 9' : T3 SA! 'I423 9 A: 6I!AL '4STI!ATI3!#@C H4LL3 A,#STAT>S J3H! 8AI!.I8' %B???# A!'84WS 9' : T3 SA! 'I423 9 A: 6I!AL '4STI!ATI3!#L4A<4S A!'84WS A6. GKGGH8S 4ST#STAT>S 30#.84A0. om(uters are children, 8ain$ird thought, reading this message. He had sim(ly (unched in a(&s new code * which a( would have $een stunned to know he had and as far as the com(uter was concerned, he was a(. He $egan to whistle tunelessly. It was +ust after sunset, and the Sho( moved somnolently along the channels of routine. 6IL4 T3, S4 84T 3'4 ,L4AS4 3'4 %C%AG 3'4 %C%AG, the com(uter returned. 84A'" T3 6IL4 T3, S4 84T 8ain$ird hesitated only $riefly and then ta((ed 6IL4#J3H! 8AI!.I8' %B???#A!'84WS 9' : T3 SA! 'I423 9 A: 6I!AL '4STI!ATI3!# A! 4L# A! 4L# A! 4L 6C 9%C%AG: 6IL4' Then, using the code $ook, 8ain$ird told the com(uter whom to inform of the cancellation; <ictor ,uckeridge and his aide, 8ichard 6olsom. These new instructions would $e in the midnight tele- to Andrews, and the (lane on which he was to hitch a ride would sim(ly take off without him. !o one would know a thing, including a(. DGG 233'."4 31,>T48 DGG DGB 233'."4 A, DGB 8ain$ird (ushed $ack from the key$oard. It would $e (erfectly (ossi$le to (ut a sto( to the whole thing tonight, of course. .ut that would not $e conclusive. The com(uter would $ack him u( to a certain degree, $ut com(uter (ro$a$ilities do not $utter any $read. .etter to sto( them after the thing had $egun, with everything hanging out. 1ore amusing, too. The whole thing was amusing. While they had $een watching the girl, the man had
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regained his a$ility or had successfully hidden it from them all along. He was likely ditching his medication. !ow he was running a( as well, which means that he was only one ste( away from running the organi=ation that had taken him (risoner in the first (lace. It really was 5uite funny/ 8ain$ird had learned that endgames often were. He didn&t know e-actly what 1c2ee had (lanned, $ut he could guess. They would go to Andrews, all right, only harlie would $e with them. a( could get her off the Sho( grounds without much trou$le * a( and (ro$a$ly no one else on earth. They would go to Andrews, $ut not to Hawaii. It might $e that Andy had (lanned for them to disa((ear into Washington, '. . 3r may$e they would get off the (lane at 'ur$an and a( would $e (rogrammed to ask for a staff car. In that case it would $e Shytown they would disa((ear into * only to rea((ear in screaming hicago Tri$une headlines a few days later. He had (layed $riefly with the idea of not standing in their way at all. That would $e amusing, too. He guessed that a( would end u( in a mental institution, raving a$out golf clu$s and snakes in the grass, or dead $y his own hand. As for the Sho(; might as well imagine what would ha((en to an anthill with a 5uart +ar of nitroglycerine (lanted $eneath it. 8ain$ird guessed that no more than five months after the (ress got its first whiff& of the Strange 3rdeal of the Andrew 1c2ee 6amily, the Sho( would cease to e-ist. He felt no fealty to the Sho( and never had. He was his own man, cri((led soldier of fortune, co((er*skinned angel of death, and the status 5uo here didn&t mean $ullrag in a (asture to him. It was not the Sho( that owned his loyalty at this (oint. It was harlie..The two of them had an a((ointment. He was going to look into her eyes, and she was going to look into his . . . and it might well $e that they would ste( out together, in flames. The fact that he might $e saving the world from some almost unimagina$le armageddon $y killing her had not (layed a (art in his calculations, either. He owed the world no more fealty than he did the Sho(. It was the world as much as the Sho( that had cast him rootless from a closed desert society that might have $een his only salvation . . . or, lacking that, have turned him into a harmless Sterno*gu==ling In+un Joe (um(ing gas at a KD station or selling fake kachina dolls at a shitty little roadside stand somewhere along the highway $etween 6lagstaff and ,hoeni-. .ut harlie, harlie7 They had $een locked in a long walt= of death since that endless night of darkness during the (ower $lackout. What he had only sus(ected that early morning in Washington when he had done Wanless had develo(ed into an irrefuta$le certainty; the girl was his. .ut it would $e an act of love, not of destruction, $ecause the converse was almost certainly true as well. It was acce(ta$le. In many ways he wanted to die. And to die at her hands, in her flames, would $e an act of contrition . . . and (ossi$ly of a$solution. 3nce she and her father were together again, she would $ecome a loaded gun. . . no, a loaded flamethrower. He would watch her and he would let the two of them get together. What would ha((en then) Who knew) And wouldn&t knowing s(oil the fun) %C That night 8ain$ird went to Washington and found a hungry lawyer who worked late hours. To this lawyer he gave three hundred dollars in small $ills. And in the lawyer&s office, John 8ain$ird neatened his few affairs in order to $e ready for the ne-t day..6irestarter % At si- o&clock on Wednesday morning, harlie 1c2ee got u(, took off& her nightgown, and ste((ed into the shower. She washed her $ody and her hair, then turned the water to cold and stood shivering under the s(ray for a minute more. She toweled dry and then dressed carefully * cotton under(ants, silk sli(, dark*$lue knee socks, her denim +um(er. She finished $y (utting on her scuffed and comforta$le loafers. She hadn&t thought she would $e a$le to slee( at all last night/ she had gone to $ed full of fear and nervous e-citement. .ut she had sle(t. And dreamed incessantly not of !ecromancer and the run through the woods $ut of her mother. That was (eculiar, $ecause she didn&t think of her mother as often as she used to/ at times her face seemed misty and distant in her memory, like a faded (hotogra(h. .ut in her dreams of last night, her mother&s faceher laughing eyes, her warm, generous mouth * had $een so clear that harlie might last have seen her +ust the day $efore. !ow, dressed and ready for the day, some of the unnatural lines of strain had gone out. of her face and she seemed calm. 3n the wall $eside the door leading into the kitchenette there was a call $utton and a s(eaker grille set into a $rushed*chrome (late +ust $elow the light switch. She (ressed the $utton now. &"es, harlie)& She knew the owner of the voice only as 1ike. At seven o&clock * a$out half an hour from now * 1ike went off and Louis came on. &I want to go out to the sta$les this afternoon,& she said, &and see !ecromancer. Will you tell someone)& &I&ll leave a note for 'r. Hockstetter, harlie.& &Thank you.& She (aused, +ust for a moment. "ou got to know their voices. 1ike, Louis, 2ary. "ou got (ictures of how they must look in your mind, the way you got (ictures of how the 'Js you heard on the radio must look. "ou got to like them. She suddenly reali=ed that she would almost certainly never talk to 1ike again. &Was there something else, harlie)& &!o, 1ike. Have . . . have a good day.& &Why, thank you, harlie.& 1ike sounded $oth sur(rised and (leased. &"ou too.& She turned on the T< and tuned to a cartoon show that came on every morning over the ca$le. ,o(eye was inhaling s(inach through his (i(e and getting ready to $eat the sauce out of .luto. 3ne o&clock seemed an age away.
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What if 'r. Hockstetter said, she couldn&t go out) 3n the T< screen, they were showing a cutaway view of ,o(eye&s muscles. There were a$out si-teen tur$ine engines in each one. He $etter not say that. He $etter not. .ecause I&m going. 3ne way or the other, I&m going. ? Andy&s rest hadn&t $een as easy or as healing as his daughter&s. He had tossed and turned,.sometimes do=ing, then starting out of the do=e +ust as it $egan to dee(en $ecause the terri$le leading edge of some nightmare touched his mind. The only one he could remem$er was harlie staggering down the aisle $etween the stalls in the sta$le, her head gone and red*$lue flames s(outing from her neck instead of $lood. He had meant to stay in $ed until seven o&clock, $ut when the digital face of the clock $eside the $ed got to D;%I, he could wait no longer. He swung out and headed for the shower. Last night at +ust (ast nine, ,ynchot&s former assistant, 'r. !utter, had come in with Andy&s walking (a(ers. !utter, a tall, $alding man in his late fifties, was $um$ling and avuncular. Sorry to $e losing you/ ho(e you en+oy your stay in Hawaii/ wish I was going with you, ha*ha/ (lease sign this. The (a(er !utter wanted him to sign was a list of his few (ersonal effects 9including his keyring, Andy noticed with a nostalgic (ang:. He would $e e-(ected to inventory them once in Hawaii and initial another sheet that said that they had, indeed, $een returned. They wanted him to sign a (a(er concerning his (ersonal effects after they had murdered his wife, chased him and harlie across half the country, and then kidna((ed and held them (risoner; Andy found that darkly hilarious and 0afkaes5ue. I sure wouldn&t want to lose any of those keys, he thought, scrawling his signature/ I might need one of them to o(en a $ottle of soda with sometime, right, fellows) There was also a car$on of the Wednesday schedule, neatly initialed $y a( at the $ottom of the (age. They would $e leaving at twelve*thirty, a( (icking Andy u( at his 5uarters. He and a( would (roceed toward the eastern check(oint, (assing ,arking Area , where they would (ick u( an escort of two cars. They would then drive to Andrews and $oard the (lane at a((ro-imately fifteen hundred hours. There would $e one sto( for refueling * at 'ur$an Air 6orce .ase, near hicago. All right, Andy thought. 3kay. He dressed and $egan to move a$out the a(artment, (acking his clothes, shaving tackle, shoes, $edroom sli((ers. They had (rovided him with two Samsonite suitcases. He remem$ered to do it all slowly, moving with the careful concentration of a drugged man. After he found out a$out 8ain$ird from a(, his first thought had $een a ho(e that he would meet him; it would $e such a great (leasure to (ush the man who had shot harlie with the tran5uili=er dart and later $etrayed her in even more terri$le fashion, to (ut his gun to his tem(le and (ull the trigger. .ut he no longer wanted to meet 8ain$ird. He wanted no sur(rises of any kind. The num$ s(ots on his face had shrunk to (in(ricks, $ut they were still there * a reminder that if he had to overuse the (ush, he would very likely kill himself. He only wanted things to go off smoothly. His few things were (acked all too soon, leaving him with nothing to do $ut sit and wait. The thought that he would $e seeing his daughter again soon was like a small coal of warmth in his $rain. To him too one o&clock seemed an age away. H.8ain$ird didn&t slee( at all that night. He arrived $ack from Washington around five*thirty A.1., garaged his adillac, and sat at his kitchen ta$le drinking cu( after cu( of coffee. He was waiting for a call from Andrews, and until that call came, he would not rest easy. It was still theoretically (ossi$le for a( to have found out what he had done with the com(uter. 1c2ee had messed u( a( Hollister (retty well, $ut it still did not (ay to underestimate. Around si-*forty*five, the tele(hone rang. 8ain$ird set his coffee cu( down, rose, went into the living room, and answered it. &8ain$ird here.& &8ain$ird) This is 'ick 6olsom at Andrews. 1a+or ,uckeridge&s aide.& &"ou woke me u(, man,& 8ain$ird said. &I ho(e you catch cra$s as $ig as orange crates. That&s an old Indian curse.& &"ou&ve $een scru$$ed,& 6olsom said. &I guess you knew.& &"es, a( called me himself last night.& &I&m sorry,& 6olsom said. &It&s standard o(erating (rocedure, that&s all.& &Well, you o(erated in standard fashion. an I go $ack to slee( now)& &"eah. I envy you.& 8ain$ird uttered the o$ligatory chuckle and hung u(. He went $ack into the kitchen, (icked u( his coffee cu(, went to the window, looked out, saw nothing. 6loating dreamily through his mind was the ,rayer for the 'ead. B a( did not arrive in his office that morning until almost ten*thirty, an hour and a half later than usual. He had searched his small <ega from stem to stern $efore leaving the house. He had $ecome sure during the night that the car was infested with snakes. The search had taken him twenty minutesthe need to make sure there were no rattlers or co((erheads 9or something even more sinister and e-otic: nesting in the darkness of the trunk, do=ing on the fugitive warmth of the engine $lock, curled u( in the glove com(artment. He had (ushed the glove*com(artment $utton with a $roomhandle, not wanting to $e too close in case some hissing horror should lea( out at him, and when a ma( of <irginia tum$led out of the s5uare hole in the dash, he had nearly screamed. Then, halfway to the Sho(, he had (assed the 2reenway 2olf ourse and had (ulled
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over onto the shoulder to watch with a dreamy sort of concentration as the golfers (layed through the eighth and ninth. 4very time one of them sliced into the rough, he was $arely a$le to restrain a com(ulsion to ste( out of the car and yell for them to $eware of snakes in the tall grass. At last the $lare of a ten*wheeler&s airhorn 9he had (arked with his lefthand wheels still on the (avement: had startled him out of his da=e and he drove on. His secretary greeted him with a (ile of overnight tele- ca$les, which a( sim(ly took without $othering to shuffle through them to see if there was anything hot enough to demand immediate attention. The girl at the desk was going over a num$er of re5uests and messages when she suddenly looked u( at a( curiously. a( was (aying no attention to her at all. He was ga=ing at the wide drawer near the to( of her desk with a $emused e-(ression on his face. &,ardon me,& she said. She was still very much aware of $eing the new girl, even after.all these months, of having re(laced someone a( had $een close to. And (erha(s had $een slee(ing with, she had sometimes s(eculated. &Hmmmm)& He looked around at her at last. .ut the $lankness did not leave his eyes. It was somehow shocking . . . like looking at the shuttered windows of a house re(uted to $e haunted. She hesitated, then (lunged. & a(, do you feel all right) "ou look . . . well, a little white.& &I feel fine,& he said, and for a moment he was his old self, dis(elling some of her dou$ts. His shoulders s5uared, his head came u(, and the $lankness left his eyes. &Any$ody who&s going to Hawaii ought to feel fine, right)& &Hawaii)& 2loria said dou$tfully. It was news to her. &!ever mind these now,& a( said, taking the message forms and interde(artmental memos and stuffing them all together with the tele- ca$les. &I&ll look at them later. Anything ha((ening with either of the 1c2ees)& &3ne item,& she said. &I was +ust getting to it. 1ike 0ellaher says she asked to go out to the sta$le this afternoon and see a horse * & &"es, that&s fine,& a( said. & * and she $u==ed $ack a little later to say she&d like to go out at 5uarter of one.& &6ine, fine.& &Will 1r. 8ain$ird $e taking her out)& &8ain$ird&s on his way to San 'iego,& a( said with unmistaka$le satisfaction. &I&ll send a man to take her over.& &All right. Will you want to see the . . .& She trailed off. a(&s eyes had wandered away from her and he a((eared to $e staring at the wide drawer again. It was (artway o(en. It always was, (er regulations. There was a gun in there. 2loria was a crack shot, +ust as 8achel $efore her had $een. & a(, are you sure there&s nothing wrong)& &3ught to kee( that shut,& a( said. &They like dark (laces. They like to crawl in and hide.& &They)& she asked cautiously. &Snakes,& a( said, and marched into his office. I He sat $ehind his desk, the ca$les and messages in an untidy litter $efore him. They were forgotten. 4verything was forgotten now e-ce(t snakes, golf clu$s, and what he was going to do at 5uarter of one. He would go down and see Andy 1c2ee. He felt strongly that Andy would tell him what to do ne-t. He felt strongly that Andy would make everything all right. .eyond 5uarter of one this afternoon, everything in his life was a great funneling darkness. He didn&t mind. It was sort of a relief. D.At 5uarter of ten, John 8ain$ird sli((ed into the small monitoring room near harlie&s 5uarters. Louis Tranter, a hugely fat man whose $uttocks nearly overflowed the chair he sat in, was watching the monitors. The digital thermometer read a steady si-ty*eight degrees. He looked over his shoulder when the door o(ened and his face tightened at the sight of 8ain$ird. &I heard you were leaving town,& he said. &Scru$$ed,& 8ain$ird said. &And you never saw me this morning at all, Louis.& Louis looked at him dou$tfully. &"ou never saw me,& 8ain$ird re(eated. &After five this afternoon I don&t give a shit. .ut until then, you never saw me. And if I hear you did, I&m going to come after you and cut me some $lu$$er. an you dig it)& Louis Tranter (aled noticea$ly. The Hostess Twinkie he had $een eating dro((ed from his hand onto the slanted steel (anel that housed the T< monitors and micro(hone (icku( controls. It rolled down the slant and tum$led to the floor unheeded, leaving a trail of crum$s $ehind. Suddenly he wasn&t a $it hungry. He had heard this guy was cra=y, and now he was seeing that what he had heard was certainly true. &I can dig it,& he said, whis(ering in the face of that weird grin and glittering oneeyed stare. &2ood,& 8ain$ird said, and advanced toward him. Louis shrank away from him, $ut 8ain$ird ignored him altogether for the moment and (eered into one of the monitors. There was harlie, looking (retty as a (icture in her $lue +um(er. With a lover&s eye, 8ain$ird noted that she had not $raided her hair today/ it lay loose and fine and lovely over her neck and shoulders. She wasn&t doing anything $ut sitting on the sofa. !o $ook. !o T<. She looked like a woman waiting for a $us. harlie, he thought admiringly, I love you. I really do. &What&s she got going for today)& 8ain$ird asked.
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&!othing much,& Louis said eagerly. He was, in fact, nearly $a$$ling. &Just going out at 5uarter of one to curry that horse she rides. We&re getting another test out of her tomorrow.& &Tomorrow, huh)& &"e(.& Louis didn&t give a tin shit a$out the tests one way or the other, $ut he thought it would (lease 8ain$ird, and may$e 8ain$ird would leave. He seemed to $e (leased. His grin rea((eared. &She&s going out to the sta$les at 5uarter of one, huh)& &"eah.& &Who&s taking her) Since I&m on my way to San 'iego)& Louis uttered a high(itched, almost female giggle to show that this (iece of wit was a((reciated. &"our $uddy there. 'on Jules.& &He&s no $uddy of mine.& &!o, course he isn&t,& Louis agreed 5uickly. &He . . . he thought the orders were a little funny, $ut since they came right from a( * & &6unny) What did he think was funny a$out them)& &Well, +ust to take her out and leave her there. a( said the sta$le $oys would kee( an eye on her. .ut they don&t know from nothing. 'on seemed to think it would $e taking a.helluva * & &"eah, $ut he doesn&t get (aid to think. 'oes he, fatty)& He sla((ed Louis on the shoulder, hard. It made a sound like a minor thundercla(. &!o, course he doesn&t,& Louis came $ack smartly. He was sweating now. &See you later,& 8ain$ird said, and went to the door again. &Leaving)& Louis was una$le to disguise his relief. 8ain$ird (aused with his hand on the doorkno$ and looked $ack. &What do you mean)& he said. &I was never here.& &!o sir, never here,& Louis agreed hastily. 8ain$ird nodded and sli((ed out. He closed the door $ehind him. Louis stared at the closed door for several seconds and then uttered a great and gusty sigh of relief. His arm(its were humid and his white shirt was stuck to his $ack. A few moments later he (icked u( his fallen Twinkie, $rushed it off, and $egan to eat it again. The girl was still sitting 5uietly, not doing anything. How 8ain$ird * 8ain$ird of all (eo(le * had got her to like him was a mystery to Louis Tranter. K At 5uarter to one, an eternity after harlie had awakened, there was a $rief $u== at her door, and 'on Jules came in, wearing a $ase$all warmu( +acket and old cord (ants. He looked at her coldly and without much interest. & &mon,& he said. harlie went with him. A That day was cool and $eautiful. At twelve*thirty 8ain$ird strolled slowly across the still*green lawn to the low, L*sha(ed sta$le with its dark*red (aint* the color of drying $lood * and its $risk white (i(ing. 3verhead, great fair*weather clouds marched slowly across the sky. A $ree=e tugged at his shirt. If dying was re5uired, this was a fine day for it. Inside the sta$le, he located the head groom&s office and went in. He showed his I' with its A*rating stam(. &"es, sir)& 'ra$$le said. & lear this (lace,& 8ain$ird said. &4veryone out. 6ive minutes.& The groom did not argue or $um$le, and if he (aled a $it, his tan covered it. &The horses too)& &Just the (eo(le. 3ut the $ack.& 8ain$ird had changed into fatigues * what they had sometimes called gookshooters in !am. The (ants (ockets were large, dee(, and fla((ed. 6rom one of these he now took a large handgun. The head groom looked at it with wise, unsur(rised eyes. 8ain$ird held it loosely, (ointed at the floor. &Is there going to $e trou$le, sir)& &There may $e,& 8ain$ird said 5uietly. &I don&t really know. 2o on, now, old man.&.&I ho(e no harm will come to the horses,& 'ra$$le said. 8ain$ird smiled then. He thought, So will she. He had seen her eyes when she was with the horses. And this ()ace, with its $ays of loose hay and its lofts of $aled hay, with its dry wood all a$out, was a tinder$o- with !3 S130I!2 signs (osted everywhere. It was a thin edge. .ut, as the years had drawn on and he had $ecome more and more careless of his life, he had walked thinner ones. He walked $ack to the $ig dou$le doors and looked out. !o sign of anyone +ust yet. He turned away and $egan to walk $etween the stall doors, smelling the sweet, (ungent, nostalgic aroma of horse. He made sure all of the stalls were latched and locked. He went $ack to the dou$le doors again. !ow someone was coming. Two figures. They were still on the far side of the duck(ond, five minutes& walk away. !ot a( and Andy 1c2ee. It was 'on Jules and harlie. ome to me, harlie, he thought tenderly. ome to me now. He glanced around at the shadowed u((er lofts for a moment and then went to the ladder * sim(le wooden rungs nailed to a su((ort $eam * and $egan to clim$ with lithe ease. Three minutes later, harlie and 'on Jules ste((ed into the shadowed, em(ty coolness of the sta$le. They stood +ust inside the doors for a moment as their eyes ad+usted to the dimness. The .HIK 1ag in 8ain$ird&s hand had $een modified to hold a silencer of
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8ain$ird&s own construction/ it crouched over the mu==le like a strange $lack s(ider. It was not, as a matter of fact, a very silent silencer; it is nearly im(ossi$le to com(letely 5uiet a $ig handgun. When * if * he (ulled the trigger, it would utter a husky $ark the first time, a low re(ort the second time, and then it would $e mostly useless. 8ain$ird ho(ed not to have to use the gun at all, $ut now he $rought it down with $oth hands and leveled it so that the silencer covered a small circle on 'on Jules&s chest. Jules was looking around carefully. &"ou can go now,& harlie said. &Hey7& Jules said, raising his voice and (aying no attention to harlie. 8ain$ird knew Jules. A $ook man. 6ollow each order to the letter and no$ody could (ut you in hack. 0ee( your ass covered at all times. &Hey, groom7 Some$ody7 I got the kid here7& &"ou can go now,& harlie said again, and once more Jules ignored her. & ome now,& he said, clam(ing a hand over harlie&s wrist. &We got to find some$ody.& A $it regretfully, 8ain$ird (re(ared to shoot 'on Jules. It could $e worse/ at least Jules would die $y the $ook, and with his ass covered. &I said you could go now,& harlie said, and suddenly Jules let go of her wrist. He didn&t +ust let go/ he (ulled his hand away, the way you do when you&ve gra$$ed hold of something hot. 8ain$ird watched this interesting develo(ment closely. Jules had turned and was looking at harlie. He was ru$$ing his wrist, $ut 8ain$ird was una$le to see if there was a mark there or not. &"ou get out of here,& harlie said softly. Jules reached under his coat and 8ain$ird once more (re(ared to shoot him. He wouldn&t do it until the gun was clear of Jules&s +acket and his intention to march her $ack to the house was o$vious...ut the gun was only (artway out when he dro((ed it to the $arn$oard floor with a cry. He took two ste(s $ackward, away from the girl, his eyes wide. harlie made a half turn away, as if Jules no longer interested her. There was a faucet (rotruding from the wall halfway u( the long side of the L, and $eneath it was a $ucket half full of water. Steam $egan to rise la=ily from the $ucket. 8ain$ird didn&t think Jules noticed that/ his eyes were riveted on harlie. &2et out of here, you $astard,& she said, &or I&ll $urn you u(. I&ll fry you.& John 8ain$ird raised harlie a silent cheer. Jules stood looking at her, indecisive. At this moment, with his head down and slightly cocked, his eyes moving restlessly from side to side, he looked ratlike and dangerous. 8ain$ird was ready to $ack her (lay if she had to make one, $ut he ho(ed Jules would $e sensi$le. The (ower had a way of getting out of control. &2et out right now,& harlie said. &2o $ack where you came from. I&ll $e watching to see that you do. 1ove7 2et out of here7& The shrill anger in her voice decided him. &Take is easy,& he said. &3kay. .ut you got nowhere to go, girl. "ou got nothing $ut a hard way to go.& As he s(oke he was easing (ast her, then $acking toward the door. &I&ll $e watching,& harlie said grimly. &'on&t you even turn around, you . . . you turd.& Jules went out. He said something else, $ut 8ain$ird didn&t catch it. &Just go7& harlie cried. She stood in the dou$le doorway, $ack to 8ain$ird, in a shower of drowsy afternoon sunlight, a small silhouette. Again his love for her came over him. This was the (lace of their a((ointment, then. & harlie,& he called down softly. She stiffened and took a single ste( $ackward. She didn&t turn around, $ut he could feel the sudden recognition and fury flooding through her, although it was visi$le only in the slow way that her shoulders came u(. & harlie,& he called again. &Hey, harlie.& &"ou7& she whis(ered. He $arely caught it. Somewhere $elow him, a horse nickered softly. & It&s me,& he agreed. & harlie, it&s $een me all along.& !ow she did turn and swe(t the long side of the sta$le with her eyes. 8ain$ird saw her do this, $ut she didn&t see him/ he was $ehind a stack of $ales, well out of sight in the shadowy second loft. &Where are you)& she ras(ed. &"ou tricked me7 It was you7 1y daddy says it was you that time at 2ranther&s7& Her hand had gone unconsciously to her throat, where he had laid in the dart. &Where are you)& Ah, harlie, wouldn&t you like to know) A horse whinnied/ no 5uiet sound of contentment this, $ut one of sudden shar( fear. The cry was taken u( $y another horse. There was a heavy dou$le thud as one of the thorough$reds kicked at the latched door of his stall. &Where are you)& she screamed again, and 8ain$ird felt the tem(erature suddenly $egin to rise. 'irectly $elow him, one of the horses * !ecromancer, (erha(swhinnied loudly, and it sounded like a woman screaming..C The door $u==er made its curt, ras(ing cry, and a( Hollister ste((ed into Andy&s a(artment $elow the north (lantation house. He was not the man he had $een a year $efore. That man had $een elderly $ut tough and hale and shrewd/ that man had (ossessed a face you might e-(ect to see crouching over the edge of a duck $lind in !ovem$er and holding a shotgun with easy authority. This man walked in a kind of distracted sham$le. His hair, a strong iron gray a year ago, was now nearly white and $a$yfine. His mouth twitched infirmly. .ut the greatest change was in his eyes, which seemed (u==led and somehow childlike/ this e-(ression would occasionally $e $roken $y a shooting sideways glance that was sus(icious and fearful and almost cringing. His
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hands hung loosely $y his sides and the fingers twitched aimlessly. The echo had $ecome a ricochet that was now $ouncing around his $rain with cra=y, whistling, deadly velocity. Andy 1c2ee stood to meet him. He was dressed e-actly as he had $een on that day when he and harlie had fled u( Third Avenue in !ew "ork with the Sho( sedan trailing $ehind them. The cord +acket was torn at the seam of the left shoulder now, and the $rown twill (ants were faded and seatshiny, The wait had $een good for him. He felt that he had $een a$le to make his (eace with all of this. !ot understanding, no. He felt he would never have that, even if he and harlie somehow managed to $eat the fantastic odds and get away and go on living. He could find no fatal flaw in his own character on which to $lame this royal $alls * u(, no sin of the father that needed to $e e-(iated u(on his daughter. It wasn&t wrong to need two hundred dollars or to (artici(ate in a controlled e-(eriment, anymore than it was wrong to want to $e free. If I could get clear, he thought, I&d tell them this; teach your children, teach your $a$ies, teach them well, they say they know what they are doing, and sometimes they do, $ut mostly they lie. .ut it was what it was, n&est*ce (as) 3ne way or another they would at least have a run for their money. .ut that $rought him no feeling of forgiveness or understanding for the (eo(le who had done this. In finding (eace with himself, he had $anked the fires of his hate for the faceless $ureaucretins who had done this in the name of national security or whatever it was. 3nly they weren&t faceless now; one of them stood $efore him, smiling and twitching and vacant. Andy felt no sym(athy for a(&s state at all. "ou $rought it on yourself, chum. &Hello, Andy,& a( said. &All ready)& &"es,& Andy said. & arry one of my $ags, would you)& a(&s vacuity was $roken $y one of those falsely shrewd glances. &Have you checked them)& he $arked. & hecked them for snakes)& Andy (ushed * not hard. He wanted to save as much as he could for an emergency. &,ick it u(,& he said, gesturing at one of the two suitcases. a( walked over and (icked it u(. Andy gra$$ed the other one. &Where&s your car)& &It&s right outside,& a( said. &It&s $een $rought around.& &Will anyone check on us)& What he meant was Will anyone try to sto( us) &Why would they)& a( asked, honestly sur(rised. &I&m in charge.&.Andy had to $e satisfied with that. &We&re going out,& he said, &and we&re going to (ut these $ags in the trunk * & &Trunk&s okay,& a( $roke in. &I checked it this morning.& & * and then we&re going to drive around to the sta$le and get my daughter. Any 5uestions)& &!o,& a( said. &6ine. Let&s go.& They left the a(artment and walked to the elevator. A few (eo(le moved u( and down the hall on their own errands. They glanced cautiously at a( and then looked away. The elevator took them u( to the $allroom and a( led the way down a long front hall. Josie, the redhead who had $een on the door the day a( had ordered A% Steinowit= to Hastings 2len, had gone on to $igger and $etter things. !ow a young, (rematurely $alding man sat there, frowning over a com(uter*(rogramming te-t. He had a yellow felt*ti( (en in one hand. He glanced u( as they a((roached. &Hello, 8ichard,& a( said. &Hitting the $ooks)& 8ichard laughed. &They&re hitting me is more like it.& He glanced at Andy curiously. Andy looked $ack noncommittally. a( sli((ed his thum$ into a slot and something thum(ed. A green light shone on 8ichard&s console. &'estination)& 8ichard asked. He e-changed his felt*ti( for a $all*(oint. It hovered over a small $ound $ook. &Sta$le,& a( said $riskly. &We&re going to (ick u( Andy&s daughter and they are. going to esca(e.& &Andrews Air 6orce .ase,& Andy countered, and (ushed. ,ain settled immediately into his head like a dull meat cleaver. &Andrews A6.,& 8ichard agreed, and +otted it into the $ook, along with the time. &Have a good day, gentlemen.& They went out into $ree=y 3cto$er sunshine. a(&s <ega was drawn u( on the clean white crushed stone of the circular driveway. &2ive me your keys,& Andy said. a( handed them over, Andy o(ened the trunk, and they stowed the luggage. Andy slammed the trunk and handed the keys $ack. &Let&s go.& a( drove them on a loo( around the duck(ond to the sta$les. As they went, Andy noticed a man in a $ase$all warmu( +acket running across to the house they had +ust left, and he felt a tickle of unease. a( (arked in front of the o(en sta$le doors. He reached for the keys and Andy sla((ed his hand lightly. &!o. Leave it running. ome on.& He got out of the car. His head was thudding, sending rhythmic (ulses of (ain dee( into his $rain, $ut it wasn&t too $ad yet. !ot yet. a( got out, then stood, irresolute. &I don&t want to go in there,& he said. His eyes shifted $ack and forth wildly in their sockets. &Too much dark. They like the dark. They hide. They $ite.& &There are no snakes,& Andy said, and (ushed out lightly. It was enough to get a( moving, $ut he didn&t look very convinced. They walked into the sta$le. 6or one wild, terri$le moment Andy thought she wasn&t there. The change from the light to shadow left his eyes momentarily hel(less. It was hot and stuffy in here, and something had u(set the horses/ they were whinnying and kicking at their stalls. Andy could see nothing..& harlie)& he called, his voice cracked and urgent. & harlie)&
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&'addy7& she called, and gladness shot through him * gladness that turned to dread when he heard the shrill fear in her voice. &'addy, don&t come in7 'on&t come * & &I think it&s a little late for that,& a voice said from somewhere overhead. %G & harlie,& the voice had called down softly. It was somewhere overhead, $ut where) It seemed to come from everywhere. The anger had gusted through her * anger that was fanned $y the hideous unfairness of it, the way that it never ended, the way they had of $eing there at every turn, $locking every lunge for esca(e. Almost at once she felt it start to come u( from inside her. It was always so much closer to the surface now . . . so much more eager to come $ursting out. Like with the man who had $rought her over. When he drew his gun, she had sim(ly made it hot so he would dro( it. He was lucky the $ullets hadn&t e-(loded right inside it. Already she could feel the heat gathering inside her and $eginning to radiate out as the weird $attery or whatever it was turned on. She scanned the dark lofts overhead $ut couldn&t s(ot him. There were too many stacks of $ales. Too many shadows. &I wouldn&t, harlie.&.& His voice was a little louder now, $ut still calm. It cut through the fog of rage and confusion. &"ou ought to come down here7& harlie cried loudly. She was trem$ling. &"ou ought to come down $efore I decide to set everything on fire7 I can do it7& &I know you can,& the soft voice res(onded. It floated down from nowhere, everywhere. &.ut if you do, you&re going to $urn u( a lot of horses, harlie. an&t you hear them)& She could. 3nce he had called it to her attention, she could. They were nearly mad with fear, whinnying and $attering at their latched doors. !ecromancer was in one of those stalls. Her $reath caught in her throat. Again she saw the trench of fire running across the 1anders yard and the chickens e-(loding. She turned toward the $ucket of water again and was now $adly frightened. The (ower was trem$ling on the edge of her a$ility to control it, and in another moment 9$ack off7: it was going to $low loose 97.A 0 366: and +ust go sky high. 977.A 0 366, .A 0 366, '3 "3> H4A8 14, .A 0 36677: This time the half*full $ucket did not +ust steam/ it came to an instant, furious $oil. A moment later the chrome faucet +ust over the $ucket twisted twice, s(un like a (ro(eller, and then $lew off the (i(e +utting from the wall. The fi-ture flew the length of the sta$le like a rocket (ayload and caromed off the far wall. Water gushed from the (i(e. old water/ she could feel its coldness. .ut moments after the water s(urted out it turned to steam and a ha=y mist filled the corridor $etween the stalls. A coiled green hose that hung on a (eg ne-t to the (i(e had fused its (lastic loo(s. 9.A 0 3667: She $egan to get control of it again and (ulled it down. A year ago she would have.$een inca(a$le of that/ the thing would have had to run its own destructive course. She was a$le to hold on $etter now . . . ah, $ut there was so much more to control7 She stood there, shivering. &What more do you want)& she asked in a low voice. &Why can&t you +ust let us go)& A horse whinnied, high and frightened. harlie understood e-actly how it felt. &!o one thinks you can +ust $e let go,& 8ain$ird&s 5uiet voice answered. &I don&t think even your father thinks so. "ou&re dangerous, harlie. And you know it. We could let you go and the ne-t men that gra$$ed you might $e 8ussians, or !orth 0oreans, may$e even the Heathen hinese. "ou may think I&m kidding, $ut I&m not.& &That&s not my fault7& she cried. &!o,& 8ain$ird said meditatively. &3f course it isn&t. .ut it&s all $ullshit anyway. I don&t care a$out the J factor, harlie. I never did. I only care a$out you.& &3h, you liar7& harlie screamed shrilly. &"ou tricked me, (retended to $e something you weren&t * & She sto((ed. 8ain$ird clim$ed easily over a low (ile of $ales, then sat down on the edge of the loft with his feet dangling down. The (istol was in his la(. His face was like a ruined moon a$ove her. &Lied to you) !o. I mi-ed u( the truth, harlie, that&s all I ever did. And I did it to kee( you alive.& &'irty liar,& she whis(ered, $ut was dismayed to find that she wanted to $elieve him/ the sting of tears $egan $ehind her eyes. She was so tired and she wanted to $elieve him, wanted to $elieve he had liked her. &"ou weren&t testing,& 8ain$ird said. &"our old man wasn&t testing, either. What were they going to do) Say E3h, sorry, we made a mistake& and (ut you $ack on the street) "ou&ve seen these guys at work, harlie. "ou saw them shoot that guy 1anders in Hastings 2len. They (ulled out your own mother&s fingernails and then k * & &Sto( it7& she screamed in agony, and the (ower stirred again, restlessly close to the surface. &!o, I won&t,& he said. &Time you had the truth, harlie. I got you going. I made you im(ortant to them. "ou think I did it $ecause it&s my +o$) The fuck I did. They&re assholes. a(, Hockstetter, ,ynchot, that guy Jules who $rought you over here * they&re all assholes.& She stared u( at him, as if hy(noti=ed $y his hovering face. He was not wearing his eye(atch, and the (lace where his eye had $een was a twisted, slitted hollow, like a memory of horror. &I didn&t lie to you a$out this,& he said, and touched his face. His fingers moved lightly, almost lovingly, u( the scars gored in the side of his chin to his flayed cheek to the
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$urned*out socket itself. &I mi-ed u( the truth, yeah. There was no Hanoi 8athole, no ong. 1y own guys did it. .ecause they were assholes, like these guys.& harlie didn&t understand, didn&t know what he meant. Her mind was reeling. 'idn&t he know she could $urn him to a cris( where he sat) &!one of this matters,& he said. &!othing e-ce(t you and me. We&ve got to get straight with each other, harlie. That&s all I want. To $e straight with you.& And she sensed he was telling the truth * $ut that some darker truth lay +ust $elow his words. There was something he wasn&t telling. & ome on u(,& he said, &and let&s talk this out.&."es, it was like hy(nosis. And, in a way, it was like tele(athy. .ecause even though she understood the sha(e of that dark truth, her feet $egan to move toward the loft ladder. It wasn&t talking that he was talking a$out. It was ending. 4nding the dou$t, the misery, the fear . . . ending the tem(tation to make ever $igger fires until some awful end came of it. In his own twisted, mad way, he was talking a$out $eing her friend in a way no one else could $e. And . . . yes, (art of her wanted that. ,art of her wanted an ending and a release. So she $egan to move toward the ladder, and her hands were on the rungs when her father $urst in. %% & harlie)& he called, and the s(ell $roke. Her hands left the rungs and terri$le understanding s(illed through her. She turned toward the door and saw him standing there. Her first thought 9daddy you got fat7: (assed through her mind and was gone so 5uickly she $arely had a chance to recogni=e it. And fat or not, it was he/ she would have known him anywhere, and her love for him s(illed through her and swe(t away 8ain$ird&s s(ell like mist. And the understanding was that whatever John 8ain$ird might mean to her, he meant only death for her father. &'addy7& she cried. &'on&t come in7& A sudden wrinkle of irritation (assed over 8ain$ird&s face. The gun was no longer in his la(/ it was (ointed straight at the silhouette in the doorway. &I think it&s a little late for that,& he said. There was a man standing $eside her daddy. She thought it was that man they all called a(. He was +ust standing there, his shoulders slum(ed as if they had $een $roken. & ome in,& 8ain$ird said, and Andy came. &!ow sto(.& Andy sto((ed. a( had followed him, a (ace or two $ehind, as if the two of them were tied together. a(&s eyes shifted nervously $ack and forth in the sta$le&s dimness. &I know you can do it,& 8ain$ird said, and his voice $ecame lighter, almost humorous. &In fact, you can $oth do it. .ut, 1r. 1c2ee . . . Andy) 1ay I call you Andy)& &Anything you like,& her father said. His voice was calm. &Andy, if you try using what you&ve got on me, I&m going to try to resist it +ust long enough to shoot your daughter. And, of course, harlie, if you try using what you&ve got on me, who knows what will ha((en)& harlie ran to her father. She (ressed her face against the rough wale of his corduroy +acket. &'addy, 'addy,& she whis(ered hoarsely. &Hi, cookie,& he said, and stroked her hair. He held her, then looked u( at 8ain$ird. Sitting there on the edge of the loft like a sailor on a mast, he was the one*eyed (irate of Andy&s dream to the life. &So what now)& he asked 8ain$ird. He was aware that 8ain$ird could (ro$a$ly hold them here until the fellow he had seen running across the lawn $rought $ack hel(, $ut somehow he didn&t think that was what this man wanted. 8ain$ird ignored his 5uestion. & harlie)& he said. harlie shuddered $eneath Andy&s hands $ut did not turn around..& harlie,& he said again, softly, insistently. &Look at me, harlie.& Slowly, reluctantly, she turned around and looked u( at him. & ome on u( here,& he said, &like you were going to do. !othing has changed. We&ll finish our $usiness and all of this will end.& &!o, I can&t allow that,& Andy said, almost (leasantly. &We&re leaving.& & ome u(, harlie,& 8ain$ird said, &or I&m going to (ut a $ullet into your father&s head right now. "ou can $urn me, $ut I&m $etting I can (ull this trigger $efore it ha((ens.& harlie moaned dee( in her throat like a hurt animal. &'on&t move, harlie,& Andy said. &He&ll $e fine,& 8ain$ird said. His voice was low, rational, (ersuasive. &They&ll send him to Hawaii and he&ll $e fine. "ou choose, harlie. A $ullet in the head for him or the golden sands there on 0alami .each. Which is it going to $e) "ou choose.& Her $lue eyes never leaving 8ain$ird&s one, harlie took a trem$ling ste( away from her father. & harlie7& he said shar(ly. &!o7& &It&ll $e over,& 8ain$ird said. The $arrel of the (istol was unwavering/ it never left Andy&s head. &And that&s what you want, isn&t it) I&ll make it gentle and I&ll make it clean. Trust me, harlie. 'o it for your father and do it for yourself. Trust me.& She took another ste(. And another. &!o,& Andy said. &'on&t listen to him, harlie.& .ut it was as if he had given her a reason to go. She walked to the ladder again. She (ut her hands on the rung +ust a$ove her head and then (aused. She looked u( at 8ain$ird, and locked her ga=e with his. &'o you (romise he&ll $e all right)& &"es,& 8ain$ird said, $ut Andy felt it suddenly and com(letely; the force of the lie . . . all his lies. I&ll have to (ush her, he thought with dum$ ama=ement. !ot him, $ut her.
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He gathered himself to do it. She was already standing on the first rung, her hands gras(ing the ne-t one over her head. And that was when a( * they had all forgotten him * $egan to scream. %? When 'on Jules got $ack to the $uilding a( and Andy had left only minutes $efore, he was so wild*looking that 8ichard, on door duty, gras(ed the gun inside his drawer. &What * & he $egan. &The alarm, the alarm7& Jules yelled. &'o you have auth * & &I&ve got all the authori=ation I need, you fucking twit7 The girl7 The girl&s making a $reak for it7& 3n 8ichard&s console there were two sim(le com$ination*ty(e dials, num$ered from one to ten. 6lustered, 8ichard dro((ed his (en and set the left*hand dial to a little (ast seven. Jules came around and set the right*hand dial +ust (ast one. A moment later a low $urring $egan to come from the console, a sound that was $eing re(eated all over the Sho( com(ound..2roundskee(ers were turning off their mowers and running for sheds where rifles were ke(t. The doors to the rooms where the vulnera$le com(uter terminals were slid closed and locked. 2loria, a(&s secretary, (roduced her own handgun. All availa$le Sho( agents ran toward louds(eakers to await instructions, un$uttoning coats to free wea(ons. The charge in the outer fence went from its usual mild daytime tickle to killing voltage. The 'o$ermans in the run $etween the two fences heard the $u==ing, sensed the change as the Sho( geared u( to $attle status, and $egan to $ark and lea( hysterically. 2ates $etween the Sho( and the outside world slid shut and locked automatically. A $akery truck that had $een servicing the commissary had its rear $um(er chewed off $y one sliding gate, and the driver was lucky to esca(e electrocution. The $u== seemed endless, su$liminal. Jules gra$$ed the mike from 8ichard&s console and said, & ondition .right "ellow. I say again, ondition .right "ellow. !o drill. onverge on sta$les/ use caution.& He searched his mind for the code term assigned to harlie 1c2ee and couldn&t come u( with it. They changed the fucking things $y the day, it seemed. &It&s the girl, and she&s using it7 8e(eat, she&s using it7& %H 3rv Jamieson was standing underneath the louds(eaker in the third*floor lounge of the north house, holding The Windsucker in one hand. When he heard Jules&s message, he sat down a$ru(tly and holstered it. &>h*uh,& he said to himself as the three others he had $een shooting eight $all with ran out. &>h*uh, not me, count me out.& The others could run over there like hounds on a hot scent if they wanted to. They had not $een at the 1anders farm. They had not seen this (articular third*grader in action. What 3J wanted more than anything at that (oint in time was to find a dee( hole and (ull it over him. %B a( Hollister had heard very little of the three*way conversation $etween harlie, her father, and 8ain$ird. He was on hold, his old orders com(leted, no new ones yet issued. The sounds of the talk flowed meaninglessly over his head and he was free to think of his golf game, and snakes, and nine irons, and $oa constrictors, and mashies, and tim$er rattlers, and ni$licks, and (ythons $ig enough to swallow a goat whole. He did not like this (lace. It was full of loose hay that reminded him of the way the rough on a golf course smelled. It had $een in the hay that his $rother had $een $itten $y a snake when a( himself was only three, it wasn&t a very dangerous snake, $ut his $ig $rother had screamed, he had screamed, and there had $een the smell of hay, the smell of clover, the smell of timothy, and his $ig $rother was the strongest, $ravest $oy in the world $ut now he was screaming, $ig, tough, nine*year*old Leon Hollister was screaming &2o get 'addy7& and tears were running down his cheeks as he held his (uffing leg $etween his hands and as three*year*old a( Hollister turned to do what his $rother said, terrified and.$lu$$ering, it had slithered over his foot, his own foot, like deadly green water and later the doctor had said the $ite wasn&t dangerous, that the snake must have $itten something else only a little while $efore and e-hausted its (oison sac, $ut Lennie thought he was dying and everywhere had $een the sweet summer smell of grass and the ho((ers were +um(ing, making their eternal rickety*rickety sound and s(itting to$acco +uice 9&S(it and I&ll let you go& had $een the cry in those long*ago !e$raska days:/ good smells, good sounds, golf*course smells and sounds, and the screaming of his $rother and the dry, scaly feel of the snake, looking down and seeing its flat, triangular head, its $lack eyes . . . the snake had slithered across a(&s foot on its way $ack into the high grass . . . $ack into the rough, you might say . . . and the smell had $een like this . . . and he didn&t like this (lace. 6our irons and adders and (utters and co((erheads * 6aster and faster now the ricochet $ounded $ack and forth, and a(&s eyes moved vacuously around the shadowy sta$le while John 8ain$ird confronted the 1c2ees. 4ventually his eyes fi-ed u(on the (artially fused green (lastic hose $y the $urst water(i(e. It hung in coils on its (eg, still (artially o$scured $y the last of the drifting steam. Terror flashed u( in him suddenly, as e-(losive as flames in an old $lowdown. 6or a moment the terror was so great that he could not even $reathe, let alone cry a warning. His muscles were fro=en, locked. Then they let go. a( drew in a great lungful of $reath in a convulsive, heaving lurch and let out an ears(litting, sudden scream. &Snake7 S!A047 S!AAA"""047& He did not run away. 4ven reduced as he was, it wasn&t in a( Hollister to run. He lurched forward like a rusty automaton and sei=ed a rake that was leaning against the
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wall. It was a snake and he would $eat it and $reak it and crush it. He would . . . would . . . He would save Lennie7 He rushed at the (artially fused hose, $randishing the rake. Then things ha((ened very fast. %I The agents, most of them armed with handguns, and the gardeners, most of them with rifles, were converging on the low L*sha(ed sta$le in a rough circle when the screaming $egan. A moment later there was a heavy thudding sound and what might have $een a muffled cry of (ain. 3nly a second later there was a low ri((ing sound, then a muted re(ort that was surely a silenced revolver. The circle around the sta$le (aused and then $egan to move inward once more. %D a(&s scream and sudden dash for the rake only $roke 8ain$ird&s concentration for a moment, $ut a moment was enough. The gun +erked away from Andy&s head toward a(/ it was an instinctive movement, the 5uick and alert shift of a hunting tiger in the +ungle..And so it was that his keen instincts $etrayed him and caused him to tum$le of the thin edge he had walked so long. Andy used the (ush +ust as 5uickly and +ust as instinctively. When the gun +erked toward a(, he called u( to 8ain$ird, &Jum(7& and (ushed harder than he ever had in his life. The (ain that ri((ed through his head like s(lintering shards of shra(nel was sickening in its force, and he felt something give, finally and irrevoca$ly. .lowout, he thought. The thought was thick and sludgy. He staggered $ack. The entire left side of his $ody had gone num$. His left leg no longer wanted to hold him. 9it finally came it&s a $lowout damn thing finally let go: 8ain$ird (ushed himself away from the edge of the overhead loft with one hard thrust of his arms. His face was almost comically sur(rised. He held onto his gun/ even when he hit the floor $adly and s(rawled forward with a $roken leg, he held onto the gun. He could not stifle a cry of (ain and $ewilderment, $ut he held onto the gun. a( had reached the green hose and was $eating it wildly with the rake. His mouth worked, $ut no sound came out * only a fine s(ray of s(it. 8ain$ird looked u(. His hair had fallen over his face. He +erked his head to fli( it out of his line of sight. His one eye glimmered. His mouth was drawn down in a $itter line. He raised the gun and (ointed it at Andy. &!o7& harlie screamed. &!o7& 8ain$ird fired, and smoke $elched from the vents of the silencer. The $ullet dug $right, fresh s(linters $eside Andy&s lolling head. 8ain$ird $raced one arm on the floor and fired again. Andy&s head sna((ed viciously to the right, and $lood flew from the left side of his neck in a flood. &!o7& harlie screamed again, and cla((ed her hands to her face. &'addy7 'addy7& 8ain$ird&s hand slid out from under him/ long s(linters whis(ered into the (alm of his hand. & harlie,& he murmured. & harlie, look at me.& %K They ringed the outside of the sta$le now and (aused, uncertain of +ust how to handle this. &The girl,& Jules said. &We ru$ her * & &!o7& the girl screamed from inside, as if she had heard what Jules had (lanned. Then &'addy7 'addy7& Then there was another re(ort, this one much louder, and a sudden, vicious flash that made them shade their eyes. A wave of heat rolled out of the o(en sta$le doors, and the men standing in front reeled $ack from it. Smoke came ne-t, smoke and the red glimmer of fire. Somewhere inside that infant hell, horses $egan to scream. %A harlie ran for her father, her mind in a horrified whirl, and when 8ain$ird s(oke, she did.turn toward him. He was s(rawled on his $elly, trying to steady the gun with $oth hands. Incredi$ly, he was smiling. &There,& he croaked. &So I can see your eyes. I love you, harlie.& And he fired. The (ower lea(ed cra=ily out of her, totally out of control. 3n its way to 8ain$ird, it va(ori=ed the chunk of lead that otherwise would have $uried itself in her $rain. 6or a moment it seemed that a high wind was ri((ling 8ain$ird&s clothes * and those of a( $ehind him * and that nothing else was ha((ening. .ut it was not +ust clothes that were ri((ling/ it was the flesh itself, ri((ling, running like tallow, and then $eing hurled ofd& $ones that were already charring and $lackening and flaming. There was a soundless flashgun si==le of light that momentarily $linded her/ she saw no more $ut could hear the horses in their stalls, going mad with fear . . . and she could smell smoke. The horses7 The horses7 she thought, gro(ing in the da==le $efore her eyes. It was her dream. It was changed, $ut it was here. And suddenly, momentarily, she was $ack in the Al$any air(ort, a little girl who had $een two inches shorter and ten (ounds lighter and ever so much more innocent, a little girl with a sho((ing $ag scavenged from a wastecan, going from (hone$ooth to (hone$ooth, shoving at them, the silver cascading out of the coin returns . . . She shoved now, almost $lindly, gro(ing with her mind for what she needed to do. A ri((le ran along the doors of the stalls that formed the L&s long side. The latches fell, smoking, to the $oard floor one after another, twisted out of sha(e $y the heat. The $ack of the sta$le had $lown out in a tangle of smoking tim$ers and $oards as the
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(ower (assed a( and 8ain$ird and $ellowed onward, like something shot from a (sychic cannon. The s(lintered shra(nel whistled for si-ty yards or more in a widening fan, and those Sho( agents who had $een standing in its (ath might as well have $een hit with a $roadside $last of hot gra(eshot. A fellow $y the name of layton .raddock was nearly deca(itated $y a whirling slice of $arn$oard siding. The man ne-t to him was cut in two $y a $eam that came whirling through the air like a runaway (ro(eller. A third had an ear cli((ed off& $y a smoking chunk of wood and was not aware of it for nearly ten minutes. The skirmish line of Sho( agents dissolved. Those who could not run crawled. 3nly one man ke(t his (osition even momentarily. This was 2eorge Sedaka, the man who, in the com(any of 3rv Jamieson, had hi+acked Andy&s letters in !ew Ham(shire. Sedaka had only $een laying over at the Sho( com(ound $efore going on to ,anama ity. The man who had $een on Sedaka&s left was now lying on the ground, groaning. The man on Sedaka&s right had $een the unfortunate layton .raddock. Sedaka himself was miraculously untouched. S(linters and hot shra(nel had flown all around him. A $aling hook, shar(*edged and lethal, had $uried itself in the earth less than four inches from his feet. It glowed a dull red. The $ack of the sta$le looked as if half a do=en sticks of dynamite had gone off there. Tum$led, $urning $eams framed a $lackened hole that was (erha(s twenty*five feet across. A large com(ost hea( had a$sor$ed the $ulk of harlie&s e-traordinary force when it made its e-(losive e-it/ it was now in flames, and what remained of the rear of the sta$le was catching. Sedaka could hear horses whinnying and screaming inside, could see the lurid red*.orange gleam of fire as the flames raced into the lofts full of dry hay. It was like looking through a (orthole into Sheol. Sedaka suddenly decided he wanted no more of this. It was a little heavier than sticking u( unarmed mailmen on $ack*country roads. 2eorge Sedaka reholstered his (istol and took to his heels. %C She was still gro(ing, una$le to gras( all that had ha((ened. &'addy7& she screamed. &'addy7 'addy7& 4verything was $lurred, ghostly. The air was full of hot, choking smoke and red flashes. The horses were still $attering at their stall doors, $ut now the doors, latchless, were swinging o(en. Some of the horses, at least, had $een a$le to $ack out. harlie fell to her knees, feeling for her father, and the horses $egan to flash (ast, her on their way out, little more than dim, dreamlike sha(es. 3verhead, a flaming rafter fell in a shower of s(arks and ignited the loose hay in one of the lower $ays. In the short side of the L, a thirty*gallon drum of tractor gas went u( with a dull, coughing roar. 6lying hooves (assed within scant inches of harlie&s head as she crawled with her hands out like a $lind thing. Then one of the fleeing horses struck her a glancing $low and she fell $ackward. 3ne of her hands found a shoe. &'addy)& she whim(ered. &'addy)& He was dead. She was sure he was dead. 4verything was dead/ the world was flame/ they had killed her mother and now they had killed her father. Her sight was $eginning to come $ack, $ut still everything was dim. Waves of heat (ulsed over her. She felt her way u( his leg, touched his $elt, and then went lightly u( his shirt until, her fingers reached a dam(, sticky (atch. It was s(reading. There she (aused in horror, and she was una$le to make her fingers go on. &'addy,& she whis(ered. & harlie)& It was no more than a low, husky croak . . . $ut it was he. His hand found her face and tugged her weakly. & ome here. 2et . . . get close.& She came to his side, and now his face swam out of the gray da==le. The left side of it was (ulled down in a grimace/ his left eye was $adly $loodshot, reminding her of that morning in Hastings 2len when they woke in that motel. &'addy, look at this mess,& harlie groaned, and $egan to cry. &!o time,& he said. &Listen. Listen, harlie7& She $ent over him, her tears wetting his face. &This was coming, harlie .... 'on&t waste your tears on me. .ut * & &!o7 !o7& & harlie, shut u(7& he said roughly. &They&re going to want to kill you now. "ou understand) !o . . . no more games. 2loves off.& He (ronounced it &glu$s& from the corner of his cruelly twisted mouth. &'on&t let them, harlie. And don&t let them cover it u(. 'on&t let them say . . . +ust a fire . . .& He had raised his head slightly and now lay $ack, (anting. 6rom outside, dim over the hungry crackle of the fire, came the faint and unim(ortant (o( of guns . . . and once more.the scream of horses. &'addy, don&t talk . . . rest . . .& &!o. Time.& >sing his right arm, he was a$le to get (artway u( again to comfort her. .lood trickled from $oth corners of his mouth. &"ou have got to get away if you can, harlie.& She wi(ed the $lood away from the hem of her +um(er. 6rom $ehind, the fire $aked into her. &2et away if you can. If you have to kill the ones in your way, harlie, do it. It&s a war. 1ake them know they&ve $een in a war.& His voice was failing now. &"ou get away if you can, harlie. 'o it for me. 'o you understand)& She nodded. . 3verhead, near the $ack, another rafter let go in a flaming atherine wheel of orange*yellow s(arks. !ow the heat rushed out at them as if from an o(en furnace flue. S(arks lit on her skin and winked out like hungry, $iting insects. &1ake it& * he coughed u( thick $lood and forced the words out * &make it so they can never do anything like this again. .urn it down, harlie. .urn it all down.&
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&'addy * & &2o on, now. .efore it all goes u(.& &I can&t leave you,& she said in a shaking, hel(less voice. He smiled and (ulled her even closer, as if to whis(er in her ear. .ut instead he kissed her. & * love you, h * & he said, and died. ?G 'on Jules had found himself in charge $y default. He held on as long as he could after the fire started, convinced that the little girl would run out into their field of fire. When it didn&t ha((en * and when the men in front of the sta$les $egan to catch their first glim(se of what had ha((ened to the men $ehind it * he decided he could wait no longer, not if he wanted to hold them. He $egan to move forward, and the others came with him . . . $ut their faces were tight and set. They no longer looked like men on a turkey shoot. Then shadows moved ra(idly inside the dou$le doors. She was coming out. 2uns came u(; two men fired $efore anything at all came out. Then * .ut it wasn&t the girl/ it was the horses, half a do=en of them, eight, ten, their coats flecked with foam, their eyes rolling and white*rimmed, mad with fear. Jules&s men, on hair trigger, o(ened fire. 4ven those who had held $ack, seeing that horses rather than humans were leaving the sta$le, seemed una$le to hold $ack once their colleagues had $egun firing. It was a slaughter. Two of the horses (itched forward to their knees, one of them whinnying misera$ly. .lood flew in the $right 3cto$er air and slicked the grass. &Sto(7& Jules $awled. &Sto(, dammit7 Sto( shooting the fucking horses7& He might as well have $een 0ing anute giving orders to the tide. The men * afraid of something they could not see, hy(ed $y the alarm $u==er, the .right "ellow alert, the fire that was now (luming thick $lack smoke at the sky, and the heavy kawhummm7 of the e-(loding tractor*gas * finally had moving targets to shoot at . . . and they were shooting..Two of the horses lay dead on the grass. Another lay half on and half off& the crushed*stone driveway, sides heaving ra(idly. Three more, cra=ed with fear, veered to the left and made at the four or five men s(read there. They gave way, still shooting, $ut one of the men tri((ed over his own feet and was tram(led, screaming. . &@uit it7& Jules screamed. &@uit it7 ease * cease firing7 2oddammit, cease firing, you assholes7& .ut the slaughter went on. 1en were reloading with strange, $lank e-(ressions on their faces. 1any of them, like 8ain$ird, were veterans of the <ietnam war, and their faces wore the dull, twistedrag e-(ressions of men reliving an old nightmare at lunatic intensity. A few others had 5uit firing, $ut they were a minority. 6ive horses lay wounded or dead on the grass and in the driveway. A few others had run away, and !ecromancer was among these, his tail waving like a $attle flag. &The girl7& someone screamed, (ointing at the sta$le doors. &The girl.& It was too late. The slaughter of the horses had $arely ended and their attention was divided. .y the time they swung $ack toward where harlie stood with her head down, small and deadly in her denim +um(er and dark*$lue knee socks, the trenches of fire had already $egun to radiate from her toward them, like strands of some deadly s(ider&s we$. ?% harlie was su$merged in the (ower again, and it was a relief. The loss of her father, as keen and shar( as a stiletto, receded and $ecame no more than a num$ ache. As always, the (ower drew her, like some fascinating and awful toy whose full range of (ossi$ilities still awaited discovery. Trenches of fire raced across the grass toward the ragged line of men. "ou killed the horses, you $astards, she thought, and her father&s voice echoed, as if in agreement. If you have to kill the ones in your way, harlie, do it. It&s a war. 1ake them know they&ve $een in a war. "es, she decided, she would make them know they had $een in a war. Some of the men were $reaking and running now. She skewed one of the lines of fire to the right with a mild twist of her head and three of them were engulfed, their clothes $ecoming so many flaming rags. They fell to the ground, convulsed and screaming. Something $u==ed $y her head, and something else (rinted thin fire across her wrist. It was Jules, who had got another gun from 8ichard&s station. He stood there, legs s(read, gun out, shooting at her. harlie (ushed out at him; one hard, (um(ing $olt of force. Jules was thrown $ackward so suddenly and with such force that the wrecking $all of a great invisi$le crane might have struck him. He flew forty feet, not a man anymore $ut a $oiling $all of fire. Then they all $roke and ran. They ran the way they had run at the 1anders farm. 2ood thing, she thought. 2ood thing for you. She did not want to kill (eo(le. That had not changed. What had changed was that she&d kill them if she had to. If they stood in her way. She $egan to walk toward the nearer of the two houses, which stood a little distance in.front of a $arn as (erfect as the (icture on a country calendar and facing its mate across the e-(anse of lawn. Windows $roke like gunshots. The ivy trellis clim$ing the east side of the house shuddered and then $urst into arteries of fire. The (aint smoked, then $u$$led, then flamed. 6ire ran u( onto the roof like gras(ing hands. 3ne of the doors $urst o(en, letting out the whoo(ing, (anicked $ray of a fire alarm and two do=en secretaries, technicians, and analysts. They ran across the lawn toward the fence, veered away from the deaths of electricity and ya((ing, lea(ing dogs, and then
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milled like frightened shee(. The (ower wanted to go out toward them $ut she turned it away from them and onto the fence itself, making the neat chain*link diamonds droo( and run and wee( molten*metal tears. There was a low thrumming sound, a low*key =a((ing sound as the fence overloaded and then $egan to short out in segment after segment. .linding (ur(le s(arks lea(ed u(. Small fire$alls $egan to +um( from the to( of the fence, and white (orcelain conductors e-(loded like clay ducks in a shooting gallery. The dogs were going mad now. Their coats stood out in cra=y s(ikes and they raced $ack and forth like $anshees $etween the inner and outer fences. 3ne of them caromed into the s(itting high*voltage fence and went straight u( in the air, its legs s(layed stiffly. It came down in a smoking hea(. Two of its mates attacked it with savage hysteria. There was no $arn $ehind the house where harlie and her father had $een held, $ut there was a long, low, (erfectly maintained $uilding that was also red $arn$oard trimmed with white. This $uilding housed the Sho( motor (ool. !ow the wide doors $urst o(en and an armored adillac limousine with government (lates raced out. The sunroof was o(en and a man&s head and torso (oked through it. 4l$ows $raced on the roof, he $egan to fire a light su$machine gun at harlie. In front of her, firm turf s(un away in ragged digs and divots. harlie turned toward the car and let the (ower loose in that direction. The (ower was still growing/ it was turning into something that was lithe yet (onderous, an invisi$le something that now seemed to $e feeding itself in a s(iraling chain reaction of e-(onential force. The limo&s gas tank e-(loded, envelo(ing the rear of the car and shooting the tail(i(e into the sky like a +avelin. .ut even $efore that ha((ened the head and torso of the shooter were incinerated, the car&s windshield had $lown in, and the limousine&s s(ecial self*sealing tires had $egun to run like tallow. The car continued on through its own ring of fire, (lowing out of control, losing its original sha(e, melting into something that looked like a tor(edo. It rolled over twice and a second e-(losion shook it. Secretaries were fleeing from the other house now, running like ants. She could have swe(t them with fire * and a (art of her wanted to * $ut with an effort of her waning volition, she turned the (ower on the house itself, the house where the two of them had $een ke(t against their will . . . the house where John had $etrayed her. She sent the force out, all of it. 6or +ust a moment it seemed that nothing at all was ha((ening/ there was a faint shimmer in the air, like the shimmer a$ove a $ar$ecue (it where the coals have $een well $anked . . . and then the entire house e-(loded. The only clear image she was left with 9and later, the testimony of the survivors re(eated it several times: was that of the chimney of the house rising into the sky like a $rick rocketshi(, seemingly intact, while $eneath it the twenty*five*room house disintegrated like a little girl&s card$oard (layhouse in the flame of a $lowtorch. Stone,.lengths of $oard, (lanks, rose into the air and flew away on the hot dragon $reath of harlie&s force. An I.1 ty(ewriter, melted and twisted into something that looked like a green steel dishrag tied in a knot, whirled u( into the sky and crashed down $etween the two fences, digging a crater. A secretary&s chair, the swivel seat whirling madly, was flung out of sight with the s(eed of a $olt shot from a cross$ow. Heat $aked across the lawn at harlie. She looked around for something else to destroy. Smoke rose to the sky now from several sources from the two graceful ante$ellum homes 9only one of them still recogni=a$le as a home now:, from the sta$le, from what had $een the limousine. 4ven out here in the o(en, the heat was $ecoming intense. And still the (ower s(un and s(un, wanting to $e sent out, needing to $e sent out, lest it colla(se $ack on its source and destroy it. harlie had no idea what unimagina$le thing might eventually have ha((ened. .ut when she turned $ack to the fence and the road leading out of the Sho( com(ound, she saw (eo(le throwing themselves against the fence in a $lind fren=y of * (anic. In some (laces the fence was shorted out and they had $een a$le to clim$ over. The dogs had got one of them, a young woman in a yellow gaucho skirt who was screaming horri$ly. And as clearly as if he had still $een alive and standing ne-t to her, harlie heard her father cry; 4nough, harlie7 It&s enough7 Sto( while you still can7 .ut could she) Turning away from the fence, she searched des(erately for what she needed, fending off the (ower at the same time, trying to hold it $alanced and sus(ended. It $egan to scrawl directionless, cra=y s(irals across the grass in a widening (attern. !othing. !othing e-ce(t * The duck(ond. ?? 3J was getting out, and no dogs were going to sto( him. He had fled the house when the others $egan to converge on the sta$le. He was very frightened $ut not 5uite (anicked enough to charge the electrified fence after the gates automatically, slid shut on their tracks. He had watched the entire holocaust from $ehind the thick, gnarled trunk of an old elm. When the little girl shorted the fence, he waited until she had moved on a little way and turned her attention to the destruction of the house. Then he ran for the fence, The Windsucker in his right hand. When one section of the fence was dead, he clim$ed over it and let himself down into the dog run. Two of them came for him. He gras(ed his right wrist with his left hand and shot them $oth. They were $ig $astards, $ut The Windsucker was $igger. They were all done eating 2ravy Train, unless they served the stuff& u( in doggy heaven. A third dog got him from $ehind, tore out the seat of his (ants and a good chunk of his left $uttock, knocked him to the ground. 3J turned over and gra((led with it one*handed, holding The Windsucker with the other. He clu$$ed it with the $utt of the gun, and then thrust forward with the mu==le when the dog came for his throat. The mu==le slid neatly
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$etween the 'o$erman&s +aws and 3J (ulled the trigger. The re(ort was muffled. & ran$erry sauce7& 3J cried, getting shakily to his feet. He $egan to laugh hysterically..The outer gate was not electrified any longer/ even its weak kee(er charge had shorted out. 3J tried to o(en it. Already other (eo(le were crowding and +ouncing him. The dogs that were left had $acked away, snarling. Some of the other surviving agents also had their guns out and were taking (otshots at them. 4nough disci(line had returned so that those with guns stood in a rough (erimeter around the unarmed secretaries, analysts and technicians. 3J threw his whole weight against the gate. It would not o(en. It had locked shut along with everything else. 3J looked around, not sure what to do ne-t. Sanity of a sort had returned/ it was one thing to cut and run when you were $y yourself and uno$served, $ut now there were too many witnesses around. If that hellacious kid left any witnesses. &"ou&ll have to clim$ over it7& he shouted. His voice was lost in the general confusion. & lim$ over, goddammit7& !o res(onse. They only crowded against the outer fence, their faces dum$ and shiny with (anic. 3J gra$$ed a woman huddled against the gate ne-t to him. &!ooooo7& she screamed. & lim$, you cunt7& 3J roared, and goosed her to get her going. She $egan to clim$. 3thers saw her and $egan to get the idea. The inner fence was still smoking and s(itting s(arks in (laces/ a fat man 3J recogni=ed as one of the commissary cooks was holding onto roughly two thousand volts. He was +ittering and +iving, his feet doing a fast $oogaloo in the grass, his mouth o(en, his cheeks turning $lack. Another one of the 'o$ermans lunged forward and tore a chunk from the leg of a skinny, $es(ectacled young man in a la$ coat. 3ne of the other agents sna((ed a shot at the dog, missed, and shattered the $es(ectacled young man&s el$ow. The young la$ technician fell on the ground and $egan rolling around, clutching his el$ow and screaming for the .lessed <irgin to hel( him. 3J shot the dog $efore it could tear the young man&s throat out. What a fucku(, he groaned inside. 3h dear 2od, what a fucku(. !ow there were may$e a do=en of them clim$ing the wide gate. The woman 3J had set in motion reached the to(, tottered, and fell over on the outside with a strangled cry. She $egan to shriek immediately. The gate was high/ it had $een a nine foot dro(/ she had landed wrong and $roken her arm. 3h Jegus hrist, what a fucku(. lawing their way u( the gate, they looked like a lunatic&s vision of training e-ercises at 1arine $ootcam(. 3J craned $ack, trying to see the kid, trying to see if she was coming for them; If she was, the witnesses could take care of themselves/ he was u( over that gate and gone. Then one of the analysts yelled, &What in the name of 2od * & The hissing sound rose immediately, drowning out his voice. 3J would say later that the first thing he thought of was his grandmother frying eggs, only this sound was a million times louder than that, as if a tri$e of giants had all decided to fry eggs at once. It swelled and grew, and suddenly the duck(ond $etween the two houses was o$scured in rising white steam. The whole (ond, roughly fifty feet across and four feet dee( at its center, was $oiling. 6or a moment 3J could see harlie, standing a$out twenty yards from the (ond, her $ack to those of them still struggling to get out, and then she was lost in the steam. The.hissing sound went on and on. White fog drifted across the green lawn, and the $right autumn sun cast cra=y arcs of rain$ow in the cottony moisture. The cloud of steam $illowed and drifted. Would*$e esca(ees hung onto the fence like flies, their heads craned $ack over their shoulders, watching. What if there isn&t enough water) 3J thought suddenly. What if there isn&t enough to (ut out her match or torch or whatever the hell it is) What ha((ens then) 3rville Jamieson decided he didn&t want to stick around to find out. He&d had enough of the hero $it. He +ammed The Windsucker $ack into its shoulder holster and went u( the gate at what was nearly a run. At the to( he vaulted over neatly and landed in a fle-ed crouch near the woman who was still holding her $roken arm and screaming. &I advise you to save your $reath and get the hell out of here,& 3J told her, and (rom(tly took his own advice. ?H harlie stood in her own world of white, feeding her (ower into the duck(ond, gra((ling with it, trying to $ring it down, to make it have done. Its vitality seemed endless. She had it under control now, yes/ it fed smoothly into the (ond as if through an invisi$le length of (i(e. .ut what would ha((en if all the water $oiled away $efore she could disru(t its force and dis(erse it) !o more destruction. She would let it fall $ack in on herself and destroy her again $efore she allowed it to range out and $egin feeding itself again. 9.ack off7 .ack off 77: !ow, at last, she could feel it losing some of its urgency, its . . . its a$ility to stick together. It was falling a(art. Thick white steam everywhere, and the smell of laundries. The giant $u$$ling hiss of the (ond she could no longer see. 977.A 0 36677: She thought dimly of her father again, and fresh grief sliced into her; dead/ he was dead/ the thought seemed to diffuse the (ower still more, and now, at last, the hissing noise $egan to fade. The steam rolled ma+estically (ast her. 3verhead, the sun was a tarnished silver coin. I changed the sun, she thought dis+ointedly, and then, !o * not really * it&s the steam the fog * it&ll $low away *
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.ut with a sudden sureness that came from dee( inside she knew that she could change the sun if she wanted to . . . in time. The (ower was still growing. This act of destruction, this a(ocaly(se, had only a((roached its current limit. The (otential had hardly $een ta((ed. harlie fell to her knees on the grass and $egan to cry, mourning her father, mourning the other (eo(le she had killed, even John. ,erha(s what 8ain$ird had wanted for her would have $een $est, $ut even with her father dead and this rain of destruction on her head, she felt her res(onse to life, a tough, mute gras(ing for survival. And so, (erha(s most of all, she mourned herself..?B How long she sat on the grass with her head cradled in her arms she didn&t know/ as im(ossi$le as it seemed, she $elieved she might even have do=ed. However long it was, when she came to herself she saw that the sun was $righter and a little more westerly in the sky. The steam of the $oiling (ond had $een (ulled to tatters $y the light $ree=e and $lown away. Slowly, harlie stood u( and looked around. The (ond caught her eye first. She saw that it had $een close . . . very close. 3nly (uddles of water remained, flatly sheened with sunlight like $right glass gems set in the slick mud of the (ond&s $ottom. 'raggled lily(ads and water*weeds lay here and there like corroded +ewelry/ already in (laces the mud was $eginning to dry and crack. She saw a few coins in the mud, and a rusted thing that looked like a very long knife or (erha(s a lawnmower $lade. The grass all around the (ond had $een scorched $lack. A deadly silence lay over the Sho( com(ound, $roken only $y the $risk sna( and crackle of the fire. Her father had told her to make them know they had $een in a war, and what was left looked very much like an a$andoned $attleground. The sta$le, $arn, and house on one side of the (ond were $urning furiously. All that remained of the house on the other side was smoky ru$$le/ it was as if the (lace had $een hit $y a large incendiary $om$ or a World War II <*rocket. .lasted and $lackened lines lay across the grass in all directions, making those idiot s(iral (atterns, still smoking. The armored limo had $urned itself out at the end of a gouged trench of earth. It no longer resem$led a car/ it was only a meaningless hunk of +unk. The fence was the worst. .odies lay scattered along its inner (erimeter, nearly half a do=en of them. In the s(ace $etween there were two or three more $odies, (lus a scattering of dead dogs. As if in a dream, harlie $egan walking in that direction. 3ther (eo(le were moving on the lawn, $ut not many. Two of them saw her coming and shied away. The others seemed to have no conce(tion of who she was and no knowledge that she had caused it all. They walked with the dreamy, (ortentous (aces of shock*$lasted survivors. harlie $egan to clam$er u( the inner fence. &I wouldn&t do that,& a man in orderly&s whites called over conversationally. &'ogs goan get you if you do that, girl.& harlie took no notice. The remaining dogs growled at her $ut did not come near/ they, too, had had enough, it seemed. She clim$ed the outer gate, moved slowly and carefully, holding tight and (oking the toes of her loafers into the diamond*sha(ed holes in the link. She reached the to(, swung one leg over carefully, then the other. Then, moving with the same deli$eration, she clim$ed down and, for the first time in half a year ste((ed onto ground that didn&t $elong to the Sho(. 6or a moment she only stood there, as if in shock. I&m free, she thought dully. 6ree. In the distance, the sound of wailing sirens arose, drawing near. The woman with the $roken arm still sat on the grass, a$out twenty (aces from the a$andoned guardhouse. She looked like a fat child too weary to get u(. There were white shock circles under her eyes. Her li(s had a $luish tinge..&"our arm,& harlie said huskily. The woman looked u( at harlie, and recognition came into her eyes. She $egan to scra$$le away, whim(ering with fear. &'on&t you come near me,& she hissed raggedly. &All their tests7 All their tests7 I don&t need no tests7 "ou&re a witch7 A witch7& , harlie sto((ed. &"our arm,& she said. &,lease. "our arm. I&m sorry. ,lease)& Her li(s were trem$ling again. It seemed to her now that the woman&s (anic, the way her eyes rolled, the way she unconsciously curled her li( u( over her teeth * these were the worst things of all. &,lease7& she cried. &I&m sorry7 They killed my daddy7& &Should have killed you as well,& the woman said, (anting. &Why don&t you $urn yourself u(, if you&re so sorry)& harlie took a ste( toward her and the woman moved away again, screaming as she fell over on her in+ured arm. &'on&t you come near me7& And suddenly all of harlie&s hurt and grief and anger found its voice. &!one of it was my fault7& she screamed at the woman with the $roken arm. &!one of it was my fault/ they $rought it on themselves, and I won&t take the $lame, and I won&t kill myself7 'o you hear me7 'o you)& The woman cringed away, muttering. The sirens were closer. harlie felt the (ower, surging u( eagerly with her emotions. She slammed it $ack down, made it gone. 9and I won&t do that either: She walked across the road, leaving the muttering, cringing woman $ehind. 3n the far side of the road was a field, thigh*high with hay and timothy, silver white with 3cto$er, $ut still fragrant.
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9where am % going): She didn&t know yet. .ut they were never going to catch her again.. harlie Alone % The story a((eared in fragments on the late television news that Wednesday night, $ut Americans were not greeted with the entire story until they rose the ne-t morning. .y then all the availa$le data had $een coordinated into what Americans really seem to mean when they say they want &the news& * and what they really mean is &Tell me a story& and make sure it has a $eginning, a middle, and some kind of ending. The story America got over its collective coffee cu(, via Today, 2ood 1orning, America, and The .S 1orning !ews, was this; There had $een a terrorist fire$om$ attack at a to(*secret scientific think tank in Longmont, <irginia. The terrorist grou( was not (ositively known yet, although three of them had already ste((ed forward to claim the credit * a grou( of Ja(anese 8eds, the 0hafadi s(linter of .lack Se(tem$er, and a domestic grou( who went $y the rich and wonderful name of the 1ilitant 1idwest Weather*(eo(le. Though no one was sure e-actly who was $ehind the attack, the re(orts seemed 5uite clear on how it had $een carried out. An agent named John 8ain$ird, an Indian and a <ietnam vet, had $een a dou$le agent who had (lanted the fire$om$s on $ehalf of the terrorist organi=ation. He had either killed himself $y accident or had committed suicide at the site of one of the fire$om$ings, a sta$le. 3ne source claimed that 8ain$ird had actually $een overcome $y heat and smoke while trying to drive the horses out of the $urning sta$le/ this occasioned the usual newscom irony a$out cold$looded terrorists who cared more for animals than they did for (eo(le. Twenty lives had $een lost in the tragedy/ forty*five (eo(le had $een in+ured, ten of them seriously. The survivors had all $een &se5uestered& $y the government. That was the story. The name of the Sho( hardly surfaced at all. It was 5uite satisfactory. 4-ce(t for one dangling loose end. ? &I don&t care where she is,& the new head of the Sho( said four weeks after the conflagration and harlie&s esca(e. Things had $een in total confusion for the first ten days, when the girl might easily have $een swe(t $ack into the Sho(&s net/ they were still not $ack to normal. The new head sat $ehind a make*do desk/ her own would not $e delivered for another three days. &And I don&t care what she can do, either. She&s an eight*year* old kid, not Su(erwoman. She can&t stay out of sight long. I want her found and then I want her killed.& She was s(eaking to a middle*aged man who looked like a small*town li$rarian. !eedless to say, he was not. He ta((ed a series of neat com(uter (rintouts on the head&s desk. a(&s files had not survived the $urning, $ut most of his information had $een stored in the com(uter memory $anks. &What&s the status of this)&.&The Lot Si- (ro(osals have $een ta$led indefinitely,& the head told him. &It&s all (olitical, of course. 4leven old men, one young woman, and three $lue*haired old ladies who (ro$a$ly own stock in some Swiss goat*gland clinic . . . all of them with sweat under their $alls a$out what would ha((en if the girl showed u(. They * & &I dou$t very much if the senators from Idaho, 1aine, and 1innesota have any sweat under their $alls,& the man who was not a li$rarian murmured. The head shrugged it off; &They&re interested in Lot Si-. 3f course they are. I would descri$e the light as am$er.& She $egan to (lay with her hair, which was long * a shaggy, handsome dark au$urn. & ETa$led indefinitely& means until we $ring them the girl with a tag on her toe.& &We must $e Salome,& the man across the desk murmured. &.ut the (latter is yet em(ty.& &What the fuck are you talking a$out)& &!ever mind,& he said. &We seem to $e $ack to s5uare one.& &!ot e-actly,& the head re(lied grimly. &She doesn&t have her father to watch out for her anymore. She&s on her own. And I want her found. @uickly.& &And if she s(ills her guts $efore we can find her)& The head leaned $ack in a(&s chair and laced her hands $ehind her neck. The man who was not a li$rarian eyed a((reciatively the way her sweater (ulled taut across the rounds of her $reasts. a( had never $een like this. &If she were going to s(ill her guts, I think she would have $y now.& She leaned forward again, and ta((ed the desk calendar. &!ovem$er fifth,& she said, &and nothing. 1eantime, I think we&ve taken all the reasona$le (recautions. The Times, the Washington ,ost, the hicago Tri$une . . . we&re watching all the ma+ors, $ut so far, nothing.& &Su((ose she decides to go to one of the minors) The ,odunk Times instead of the !ew "ork Times) We can&t watch every news organ in the country.& &That is regretta$ly true,& the head agreed. &.ut there has $een nothing. Which means she has said nothing.& &Would anyone really $elieve such a wild tale from an eight*year*old girl anyway)& &If she lit a fire at the end of the story, I think that they might $e dis(osed to,& the head answered. &.ut shall I tell you what the com(uter says)& She smiled and ta((ed the sheets. &The com(uter says there&s an eighty*(ercent (ro$a$ility that we can $ring the committee her dead $ody without lifting a finger . . . e-ce(t to I' her.& &Suicide)& The head nodded. The (ros(ect seemed to (lease her a great deal. &That&s nice,& the man who was not a li$rarian said, standing u(. &6or my own (art, I&ll remem$er that the com(uter also said that Andrew 1c2ee was almost certainly ti((ed over.& The head&s smile faltered a $it.
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&Have a nice day, hief,& the man who was not a li$rarian said, and strolled out. H 3n the same !ovem$er day, a man in a flannel shirt, flannel (ants, and high green $oots stood cho((ing wood under a mellow white sky. 3n this mild day, the (ros(ect of another winter still seemed distant/ the tem(erature was an agreea$le fifty degrees. The.man&s coat, which his wife had scolded him into wearing, hung over a fence(ost. .ehind him, stacked against the side of the old $arn, was a s(ectacular drift of orange (um(kins * some of them starting to go (unky now, sad to say. The man (ut another log on the cho((ing $lock, slung the a- u(, and $rought it down. There was a satisfying thud, and two stove lengths fell to either side of the $lock. He was $ending down to (ick them u( and toss them over with the others when a voice said from $ehind him; &"ou got a new $lock, $ut the mark&s still there, isn&t it) It&s still there.& Startled, he turned around. What he saw caused him to ste( $ack involuntarily, knocking the a- to the ground, where it lay across the dee(, indeli$le mark in the earth. At first he thought it was a ghost he was looking at, some gruesome s(ecter of a child risen from the 'artmouth rossing graveyard three miles u( the road. She stood, (allid and dirty and thin in the driveway, her eyes hollow and glistening in their sockets, her +um(er ragged and torn. A scra(e mark skidded u( her right arm almost to the el$ow. It looked infected. There were loafers on her feet, or what had once $een loafers/ now it was hard to tell. And then, suddenly, he recogni=ed her. It was the little girl from a year ago/ she had called herself 8o$erta, and she had a flamethrower in her head. &.o$$i)& he said. &1y sainted hat, is that .o$$i)& &"es, it&s still right there,& she re(eated as if she had not heard him, and he suddenly reali=ed what the glisten in her eyes was; she was wee(ing. &.o$$i,& he said, &honey, what&s the matter) Where&s your dad)& &Still there,& she said a third time, and then colla(sed forward in a faint. Irv 1anders was $arely a$le to catch her. radling her, kneeling in the dirt of his dooryard, Irv 1anders $egan to scream for his wife. B 'r. Hofferit= arrived at dusk and was in the $ack $edroom with the girl for a$out twenty minutes. Irv and !orma 1anders sat in the kitchen, doing more looking at their su((er than eating. 4very now and then, !orma would look at her hus$and, not accusingly $ut merely 5uestioningly, and there was the drag of fear, not in her eyes $ut around them * the eyes of a woman fighting a tension headache or (erha(s low*$ack (ain. The man named Tarkington had arrived the day after the great $urning/ he had come to the hos(ital where Irv was $eing ke(t, and he had (resented them with his card, which said only WHIT!4" TA80I!2T3! 23<48!14!T A'J>ST14!TS. &"ou +ust want to get out of here,& !orma had said. Her li(s were tight and white, and her eyes had that same look of (ain they had now. She had (ointed at her hus$and&s arm, wra((ed in $ulky $andages/ drains had $een inserted, and they had $een (aining him considera$ly. Irv had told her he had gone through most of World War II with nothing much to show for it e-ce(t a case of roaring hemorrhoids/ it took $eing at home at his (lace in Hastings 2len to get shot u(. &"ou +ust want to get out,& !orma re(eated. .ut Irv, who had (erha(s had more time to think, only said, &Say what you have to, Tarkington.& Tarkington had (roduced a check for thirty*five thousand dollars * not a government check $ut one drawn on the account of a large insurance com(any. !ot one, however,.that the 1anderses did $usiness with. &We don&t want your hush money,& !orma had said harshly, and reached for the call $utton over Irv&s $ed. &I think you had $etter listen to me $efore you take any action you might regret later,& Whitney Tarkington had re(lied 5uietly and (olitely. !orma looked at Irv, and Irv had nodded. Her hand fell away from the call $utton. 8eluctantly. Tarkington had a $riefcase with him. !ow he (ut it on his knees, o(ened it, and removed a file with the names 1A!'48S and .844'L3<4 written on the ta$. !orma&s eyes had widened, and her stomach $egan to twist and untwist. .reedlove was her maiden name. !o one likes to see a government folder with his name on it/ there is something terri$le a$out the idea that ta$s have $een ke(t, (erha(s secrets known. Tarkington had talked for (erha(s forty*five minutes in a low, reasona$le tone. He occasionally illustrated what he had to say with Nero- co(ies from the 1anders#.reedlove file. !orma would scan these sheets with tight li(s and then (ass them on to Irv in his hos(ital $ed. We are in a national*security situation, Tarkington had said on that horri$le evening. "ou must reali=e that. We don&t en+oy doing this, $ut the sim(le fact is, you must $e made to see reason. These are things you know very little a$out. I know you tried to kill an unarmed man and his little girl, Irv had re(lied. Tarkington had smiled coldly * a smile reserved for (eo(le who foolishly (retend to a knowledge of how the government works to (rotect its charges and re(lied, "ou don&t know what you saw or what it means. 1y +o$ is not to convince you of that fact $ut only to try and convince you not to talk a$out it. !ow, look here; this needn&t $e so (ainful. The check is ta-*free. It will (ay for re(airs to your house and your hos(ital $ills with a nice little sum left over. And a good deal of un(leasantness will $e avoided. >n(leasantness, !orma thought now, listening to 'r. Hofferit= move around in the $ack $edroom and looking at her almost untouched su((er. After Tarkington had gone, Irv had looked at her, and his mouth had $een smiling, $ut his eyes had $een sick and wounded. He told her; 1y daddy always said that when you was in a shit*throwing contest, it didn&t matter how much you threw $ut how much stuck to you.
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.oth of them had come from large families. Irv had three $rothers and three sisters/ !orma had four sisters and one $rother. There were uncles, nieces, ne(hews, and cousins galore. There were (arents and grand(arents, in*laws . . . and, as in every family, a few outlaws. 3ne of Irv&s ne(hews, a $oy named 6red 'rew whom he had met only three or four times, had a little (ot garden growing in his $ackyard in 0ansas, according to Tarkington&s (a(ers. 3ne of !orma&s uncles, a contractor, was u( to his eye$rows in de$t and shaky $usiness ventures on the 2ulf oast of Te-as/ this fellow, whose name was 1ilo .reedlove, had a family of seven to su((ort, and one whis(er from the government would send 1ilo&s whole des(erate house of cards tum$ling and (ut them all on the state, common $ankru(ts. A cousin of Irv&s 9twice removed/ he thought he had met her once $ut couldn&t recall what she had looked like: had a((arently em$e==led a small sum of money from the $ank where she worked a$out si- years ago. The $ank had found out and had let her go, electing not to (rosecute so as to avoid adverse (u$licity. She had made restitution over a (eriod of two years and was now making a moderate success of her own.$eauty (arlor in !orth 6ork, 1innesota. .ut the statute of limitations had not run out and she could $e federally (rosecuted under some law or other having to do with $anking (ractices. The 6.I had a file on !orma&s youngest $rother, 'on. 'on had $een involved with the S'S in the middle si-ties and might have $een $riefly involved with a (lot to fire$om$ a 'ow hemical om(any office in ,hiladel(hia. The evidence was not strong enough to stand u( in court 9and 'on had told !orma himself that when he got wind of what was going on, he had dro((ed the grou(, horrified:, $ut a co(y of the file forwarded to the division of the cor(oration he worked for would undou$tedly lose him his +o$. It had gone on and on, Tarkington&s droning voice in the closed, tight little room. He had saved the $est for last. Irv&s family&s last name had $een 1androski when his great*grand(arents came to America from ,oland in %AAA. They were Jews, and Irv himself was (art Jewish, although there had $een no (retension to Judaism in the family since the time of his grandfather, who had married a 2entile/ the two of them had lived in ha((y agnosticism ever after. The $lood had $een further thinned when Irv&s father had gone and done him likewise 9as Irv himself had done, marrying !orma .reedlove, a sometime 1ethodist:. .ut there were still 1androskis in ,oland, and ,oland was $ehind the Iron urtain, and if the IA wanted to, they could set in motion a short chain of events that would end u( making life very, very difficult for these relatives whom Irv had never seen. Jews were not loved $ehind the Iron urtain. Tarkington&s voice ceased. He re(laced his file, sna((ed his $riefcase shut, (ut it $etween his feet again, and looked at them $rightly, like a good student who has +ust given a winning recitation. Irv lay against his (illow, feeling very weary. He, felt Tarkington&s eyes on him, and that he didn&t (articularly mind, $ut !orma&s eyes were on him as well, an-ious and 5uestioning. "ou haff relatives in the old country, yesss) Irv thought. It was such a clichT that it was funny, $ut he didn&t feel like laughing at all, somehow. How many removes $efore they&re not your relatives anymore) 6ourth*cousin remove) Si-th) 4ighth) hrist on a sidecar. And if we stand u( to this sanctimonious $astard and they shi( those (eo(le off to Si$eria, what do I do) Send them a (ostcard saying they&re working in the salt mines $ecause I (icked u( a little $utton and her daddy hitching on the road in Hastings 2len) hrist on a sidecar. 'r. Hofferit=, who was nearly eighty, came slowly out of the $ack $edroom, $rushing his white hair $ack with one gnarled hand. Irv and !orma, $oth glad to $e +erked out of their memories of the (ast, looked around at him. &She&s awake,& 'r. Hofferit= said, and shrugged. &She&s not in very good sha(e, your little ragamuffin, $ut she is in no danger, either. She has an infected cut on her arm and another on her $ack, which she says she got crawling under a $ar$ed wire fence to get away from Ea (ig that was mad at her.&& Hofferit= sat down at the kitchen ta$le with a sigh, (roduced a (ack of amels, and lit one. He had smoked all his life, and, he had sometimes told colleagues, as far as he was concerned, the surgeon general could go fuck himself. &'o you want something to eat, 0arl)& !orma asked. Hofferit= looked at their (lates. &!o * $ut if I was to, it looks like you wouldn&t have to dish u( anything new,& he said dryly. &Will she have to stay in $ed for long)& Irv asked..&3ught to have her down to Al$any,& Hofferit= said. There was a dish of olives on the ta$le and he took a handful. &3$servation. She&s got a fever of a hundred and one. It&s from the infection. I&ll leave you some (enicillin and some anti$iotic ointment. 1ostly what she needs to do is eat and drink and rest. 1alnutrition. 'ehydration.& He (o((ed an olive into his mouth. &"ou were right to give her that chicken $roth, !orma. Anything else, she would have sicked it u(, almost as sure as shooting. !othing $ut clear li5uids for her tomorrow. .eef $roth, chicken $roth, lots of water. And (lenty of gin, of course/ that&s the $est of those clear li5uids.& He cackled at this old +oke, which $oth Irv and !orma had heard a score of times $efore, and (o((ed another olive into his mouth. &I ought to notify the (olice a$out this, you know.& &!o,& Irv and !orma said together, and then they looked at each other, so o$viously sur(rised that 'r. Hofferit= cackled again. &She&s in trou$le, ain&t she)& Irv looked uncomforta$le. He o(ened his mouth, then closed it again. &2ot something to do with that trou$le you had last year, may$e)& This time !orma o(ened her mouth, $ut $efore she could s(eak, Irv said, &I thought it was only gunshot wounds you had to re(ort, 0arl.& &.y law, $y law,& Hofferit= said im(atiently, and stu$$ed out his cigarette. &.ut you
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know there&s a s(irit of the law as well as a letter, Irv. Here&s a little girl and you say her name is 8o$erta 1c auley and I don&t $elieve that anymore than I $elieve a hog will shit dollar $ills. She says she scra(ed her $ack o(en crawling under $ar$ed wire, and I got to think that&s a funny thing to have ha((en to you on the way to your relatives, even with gas as tight as it is. She says she don&t remem$er much of the last week or so, and that I do $elieve. Who is she, Irv)& !orma looked at her hus$and, frightened. Irv rocked $ack in his chair and looked at 'r. Hofferit=. &"eah,& he said finally, &she&s (art of that trou$le from last year. That&s why I called you, 0arl. "ou&ve seen trou$le, $oth here and $ack in the old country. "ou know what trou$le is. And you know that sometimes the laws are only as good as the (eo(le in charge of them. I&m +ust saying that if you let out that little girl is here, it&s going to mean trou$le for a lot of (eo(le who haven&t earned it. !orma and me, a lot of our kin . . . and her in there. And that&s all I think I can tell you. We&ve known each other twenty*five years. "ou&ll have to decide what you&re going to do.& &And if I kee( my mouth shut,& Hofferit= said, lighting another cigarette, &what are you going to do)& Irv looked at !orma, and she looked $ack at him. After a moment she gave her head a $ewildered little shake and dro((ed her eyes to her (late. &I dunno,& Irv said 5uietly. &"ou +ust gonna kee( her like a (arrot in a cage)& Hofferit= asked. &This is a small town, Irv. I can kee( my mouth shut, $ut I&m in the minority. "our wife and you $elong to the church. To the 2range. ,eo(le come and (eo(le go. 'airy ins(ectors gonna dro( $y to check your cows. Ta- assessor&s gonna dro( $y some fine day * that $ald $astard * to reassess your $uildings. What are you gonna do) .uild her a room down cellar) !ice life for a kid, all right.& !orma was looking more and more trou$led. &I dunno,& Irv re(eated. &I guess I have got to think on it some. I see what you&re sayin . ... $ut if you knew the (eo(le that was after her . . .& Hofferit=&s eyes shar(ened at this, $ut he said nothing. &I got to think on it some. .ut will you kee( 5uiet a$out her for the time $eing)& Hofferit= (o((ed the last of his olives into his mouth, sighed, stood u(, holding onto the edge of the ta$le. &"eah,& he said. &She&s sta$le. That <* illin will knock out the $ugs. I&ll kee( my mouth shut, Irv. .ut you $etter think on it, all right. Long and hard. .ecause a kid ain&t a (arrot.& &!o,& !orma said softly. &!o, of course not.& &Something strange a$out that kid,& Hofferit= said, (icking u( his $lack $ag. &Something damn funny a$out her. I couldn&t see it and I couldn&t (ut my finger on it . . . $ut I felt it.& &"eah,& Irv said. &There&s something strange a$out her, all right, 0arl. That&s why she&s in trou$le.& He saw the doctor out into the warm and rainy !ovem$er night. I After the doctor had finished (ro$ing and (ressing with his old, gnarled, $ut wonderfully gentle hands, harlie fell into a feverish $ut not un(leasant do=e. She could hear their voices in the other room and understood that they were talking a$out her, $ut she felt sure that they were only talking . . . not hatching (lans. The sheets were cool and clean/ the weight of the cra=y 5uilt was comforting on her chest. She drifted. She remem$ered the woman calling her a witch. She remem$ered walking away. She remem$ered hitching a ride with a vanful of hi((ies, all of them smoking do(e and drinking wine, and she remem$ered that they had called her little sister and asked her where she was going. &!orth,& she had re(lied, and that had caused a roar of a((roval. After that she remem$ered very little until yesterday, and the hog that had charged her, a((arently meaning to eat her. How she had got to the 1anders farm, and why she had come here * whether it had $een a conscious decision or something else * she could not remem$er. She drifted. The do=e dee(ened. She sle(t. And in her dream they were $ack in Harrison and she was starting u( in her $ed, her face wet with tears, screaming with terror, and her mother rushed in, au$urn hair $linding and sweet in the morning light, and she had cried, &1ommy, I dreamed you and 'addy were dead7& And her mother stroked her hot forehead with a cool hand and said, &Shhh, harlie, shhh. It&s morning now, and wasn&t that a silly dream)& D There was very little slee( for Irv and !orma 1anders that night. They sat watching a succession of inane (rime*time sitcoms, then the news, then the Tonight show. And every fifteen minutes or so !orma would get u(, leave the living room 5uietly, and go to check on harlie. &How is she)& Irv asked around 5uarter of one..&6ine. Slee(ing.& Irv grunted. &Have you thought of it, Irv)& &We&ve got to kee( her until she&s $etter,& Irv said. &Then we&ll talk to her. 6ind out a$out her dad. I can only see that far ahead.& &If they come $ack * & &Why should they)& Irv asked. &They shut us u(. They think they scared us * & &They did scare me,& !orma said softly. &.ut it wasn&t right,& Irv re(lied, +ust as softly. &"ou know that. That money . . . that Einsurance money& . . . I never felt right a$out that, did you)& &!o,& she said, and shifted restlessly. &.ut what 'oc Hofferit= said is true, Irv. A little girl has got to have (eo(le . . . and she&s got to go to school . . . and have friends . . . and .
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. . and * & &"ou saw what she did that time,& Irv said flatly. &That (yrowhatsis. "ou called her a monster.& &I&ve regretted that unkind word ever since,& !orma said. &Her father * he seemed like such a nice man. If only we knew where he was now.& &He&s dead,& a voice said from $ehind them, and !orma actually cried out as she turned and saw harlie standing in the doorway, clean now and looking all the more (allid for that. Her forehead shone like a lam(. She floated in one of !orma&s flannel nightgowns. &1y daddy is dead. They killed him and now there&s nowhere I can go. Won&t you (lease hel( me) I&m sorry. It&s not my fault. I told them it wasn&t my fault . . . I told them . . . $ut the lady said I was a witch . . . she said . . .& The tears were coming now, streaming down her cheeks, and harlie&s voice dissolved into incoherent so$s. &3h, honey, come here,& !orma said, and harlie ran to her. K 'r. Hofferit= came the ne-t day and (ronounced harlie im(roved. He came two days after that and (ronounced her much im(roved. He came over the weekend and (ronounced her well. &Irv, you decided what you&re going to do)& Irv shook his head. A !orma went to church $y herself that Sunday morning, telling (eo(le that Irv had &a touch of the $ug.& Irv sat home with harlie, who was still weak $ut a$le to get around inside the house now. The day $efore, !orma had $ought her a lot of clothes not in Hastings 2len, where such a (urchase would have caused comment, $ut in Al$any. Irv sat $eside the stove whittling, and after a while harlie came and sat with him. &'on&t you want to know)& she said. &'on&t you want to know what ha((ened after we took your car and left here)& He looked u( from his whittling and smiled at her. &6igure you&ll tell when you&re.ready, $utton.& Her face, white, tense, and unsmiling, didn&t change. &Aren&t you afraid of me)& &Should I $e)& &Aren&t you afraid I&ll $urn you u()& &!o, $utton. I don&t think so. Let me tell you something. "ou&re no little girl anymore. 1ay$e you ain&t a $ig girl * you&re some(lace in the middle * $ut you&re $ig enough. A kid your age any kid * could get hold of matches if she wanted to, $urn u( the house or whatever. .ut not many do. Why would they want to) Why should you want to) A kid your age should $e a$le to $e trusted with a +ackknife or a (ack of matches if they&re halfway $right. So, no. I ain&t scared.& At that harlie&s face rela-ed/ an e-(ression of almost indescri$a$le relief flowed across it. &I&ll tell you,& she said then. &I&ll tell you everything.& She $egan to s(eak and was still s(eaking when !orma returned an hour later. !orma sto((ed in the doorway, listening, then slowly un$uttoned her coat and took it off; She (ut her (urse down. And still harlie&s young $ut somehow old voice droned, on and on, telling it, telling it all. And $y the time she was done, $oth of them understood +ust what the stakes were, and how enormous they had $ecome. C Winter came with no firm decision made. Irv and !orma $egan to go to church again, leaving harlie alone in the house with strict instructions not to answer the tele(hone if it rang and to go down the cellar if someone drove in while they were gone. Hofferit=&s words, like a (arrot in a cage, haunted Irv. He $ought a (ile of school$ooks * in Al$anyand * took u( teaching harlie himself. Although she was 5uick, he was not (articularly good at it. !orma was a little $etter. .ut sometimes the two of them would $e sitting at the kitchen ta$le, $ent over a history or geogra(hy $ook, and !orma would look u( at him with a 5uestion in her eyes . . . a 5uestion for which Irv had no answer. The !ew "ear came/ 6e$ruary/ 1arch. harlie&s $irthday. ,resents $ought in Al$any. Like a (arrot in a cage. harlie did not seem entirely to mind, and in some ways, Irv reasoned to himself on nights when he couldn&t slee(, (erha(s it had $een the $est thing in the world for her, this (eriod of slow healing, of each day taken in its slow winter course. .ut what came ne-t) He didn&t know. There was the day in early A(ril after a drenching two*day rain when the damned kindling was so dam( he couldn&t get the kitchen stove lit. &Stand $ack a second,& harlie said, and he did, automatically, thinking she wanted to look at something in there. He felt something (ass him in midair, something tight and hot, and a moment later the kindling was $la=ing nicely. Irv stared around at her, wide*eyed, and saw harlie looking $ack at him with a kind of nervous, guilty ho(e on her face. &I hel(ed you, didn&t I)& she said in a voice that was not 5uite steady. &It wasn&t really $ad, was it)& &!o,& he said. &!ot if you can control it, harlie.& &I can control the little ones.&.&Just don&t do it around !orma, girl. She&d dro( her teddies.& harlie smiled a little. Irv hesitated and then said, &6or myself, anytime you want to give me a hand and save me messing around with that damned kindling, you go right ahead. I&ve never $een any good at it.& &I will,& she said, smiling more now. &And I&ll $e careful.& &Sure. Sure you will,& he said, and for +ust a moment he saw those men on the (orch again, $eating at their flaming hair, trying to (ut it out. harlie&s healing 5uickened, $ut still there were $ad dreams and her a((etite remained (oor. She was what !orma 1anders called &(eckish.&
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Sometimes she would wake u( from these nightmares with shuddering suddenness, not so much (ulled from slee( as e+ected from it, like a fighter (ilot from his (lane. This ha((ened to her one night during the second week of A(ril/ at one moment she was aslee(, and at the ne-t she was wide awake in her narrow $ed in the $ack room, her $ody coated with sweat. 6or a moment the nightmare remained with her, vivid and terri$le 9the sa( was running freely in the ma(les now, and Irv had taken her with him that afternoon to change the $uckets/ in her dream they had $een sa((ing again, and she had heard something $ehind and had looked $ack to see John 8ain$ird cree(ing u( on them, flitting from tree to tree, $arely visi$le/ his one eye glittered with a $aleful lack of mercy, and his gun, the one he had shot her daddy with, was in one hand, and he was gaining:. And then it sli((ed away. 1ercifully, she could remem$er none of the $ad dreams for long, and she rarely screamed anymore u(on awakening from them, frightening Irv and !orma into her room to see what was wrong. harlie heard them talking in the kitchen. She fum$led for the .ig .en on her dresser and $rought it close to her face. It was ten o&clock. She had $een aslee( only an hour and a half. & * going to do)& !orma asked. It was wrong to eavesdro(, $ut how could she hel( it) And they were talking a$out her/ she knew it. &I don&t know,& Irv said. &Have you thought anymore a$out the (a(er)& ,a(ers, harlie thought. 'addy wanted to talk to the (a(ers. 'addy said it would $e all right then. &Which one)& Irv asked. &The Hastings .ugle) They can (ut it right ne-t to the AM, ad and this week&s shows at the .i+ou.& &It was what her father was (lanning to do.& &!orma,& he said. &I could take her to !ew "ork ity. I could take her to the Times. And what would ha((en if four guys (ulled guns and started shooting in the lo$$y)& harlie was all ears now. !orma&s footfalls crossed the kitchen/ there was the rattle of the tea(ot&s lid, and what she said in re(ly was mostly lost under running water. Irv said, &"eah, I think it might ha((en. And I tell you what might $e even worse, as much as I love her. She might get the dro( on them. And if it got out of control, like it did at that (lace where they ke(t her . . . well, there&s (retty nearly eight million (eo(le in !ew "ork ity, !orma. I +ust feel like I&m too old to take a risk like that.& !orma&s footfalls crossed $ack to the ta$le again, the old flooring of the farmhouse creaking comforta$ly $eneath them. &.ut, Irv, listen to me now,& she said. !orma s(oke.carefully and slowly, as if she had $een thinking this out carefully over a long (eriod of time. &4ven a little (a(er, even a little weekly like the .ugle, they&re hooked into those A, tickers. !ews comes from every(lace these days. Why, +ust two years ago a little (a(er in Southern alifornia won the ,ulit=er ,ri=e for some news story, and they had a circulation of under fifteen hundred7& He laughed, and harlie suddenly knew he had taken her hand across the ta$le. &"ou&ve $een studying on this, haven&t you)& &"es I have, and there&s no reason to laugh at me for it, Irv 1anders7 This is serious, a serious $usiness7 We&re in a $o-7 How long can we kee( her here $efore some$ody finds out) "ou took her sa((ing out in the woods +ust this afternoon * & &!orma, I wasn&t laughin at you, and the child has got to get out sometime * & &'on&t you think I know that) I didn&t say no, did I) That&s +ust it7 A growing child needs fresh air, e-ercise. 2ot to have those things if you&re going to have any a((etite, and she&s * & &,eckish, I know.& &,ale and (eckish, that&s right. So I didn&t say no. I was glad to see you take her. .ut, Irv, what if Johnny 2ordon or 8ay ,arks had $een out today and had +ust ha((ened to drift over to see what you were doing, like they sometimes do)& &Honey, they didn&t.& .ut Irv sounded uneasy. &!ot this time7 !ot the time $efore7 .ut Irv, it can&t go on7 We $een lucky already, and you know it& Her footste(s crossed the kitchen again, and then there was the sound of tea $eing (oured. &"eah,& Irv said. &"eah, I know we have. .ut . . . thanks, darlin.& &Welcome,& she said, sitting down again. &And never mind the $uts, either. "ou know it only takes one (erson, or may$e two. It&ll s(read. It&ll get out, Irv, that we got a little girl u( here. !ever mind what it&s doing to her/ what ha((ens if it gets $ack to them)& In the darkness of the $ack room, harlie&s arms rashed out in goose$um(s. Slowly, Irv answered her. &I know what you&re saying, !orma. We got to do something, and I kee( going over and over it in my head. A little (a(er. . . well, it&s not +ust sure enough. "ou know we&ve got to get this story out right if we&re going to make that girl safe for the rest of her life. If she&s going to $e safe, a lot of (eo(le have got to know she e-ists and what she can do * isn&t that right) A lot of (eo(le.& !orma 1anders stirred restlessly $ut said nothing. Irv (ressed on. &We got to do it right for her, and we got to do it right for us. .ecause it could $e our lives at stake, too. 1e, I&ve already $een shot once. I $elieve that. I love her like my own, and I know you do, too, $ut we got to $e realists a$out it, !orma. She could get us killed.& harlie felt her face grow hot with shame . . . and with terror. !ot for herself $ut for them. What had she $rought on their house) &And it&s not +ust us or her. "ou remem$er what that man Tarkington said. The files he showed us. &It&s your $rother and my ne(hew 6red and Shelley, and * & & * and all those (eo(le $ack in ,oland,& !orma said.
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&Well, may$e he was only $luffing a$out that. I (ray to 2od he was. It&s hard for me to $elieve anyone could get that low.& !orma said grimly, &They&ve $een (retty low already.&.&Anyway,& Irv said, &we know they&ll follow through on as much as they can, the dirty $astards. The shit is going to fly. All I&m saying, !orma, is I don&t want the shit to fly to no good (ur(ose. If we&re going to make a move, I want it to $e a good one. I don&t want to go to some country weekly and then have them get wind of it and s5uash it. They could do it. They could do it.& &.ut what does that leave)& &That,& Irv said heavily, &is what I kee( tryin to figure out. A (a(er or a maga=ine, $ut one they won&t think of. It&s got to $e honest, and it ought to $e nationwide. .ut most of all, it can&t have any ties to the government or to the government&s ideas.& &"ou mean to the Sho(,& she said flatly. &"eah. That&s what I mean.& There was the soft sound of Irv si((ing his tea. harlie lay in her $ed, listening, waiting . . . . it could $e our lives at stake, too . . . I&ve already $een shot once . . . I love her like my own, and I know you do, too, $ut we got to $e realists a$out it, !orma . . . she could get us killed. 9no (lease I: 9she could get us killed like she got her mother killed: 9no (lease (lease don&t don&t say that: 9like she got her daddy killed: 9(lease sto(: Tears rolled across her side*turned face, catching in her ears, wetting the (illowcase. &Well, we&ll think on it some more,& !orma said finally. &There&s an answer to this, Irv. Somewhere.& &"eah. I ho(e so.& &And in the meantime,& she said, &we +ust got to ho(e no one knows she&s here.& Her voice suddenly kindled with e-citement. &Irv, may$e if we got a lawyer * & &Tomorrow,& he said. &I&m done in, !orma. And no one knows she&s here yet.& .ut someone did. And the news had already $egun to s(read. %G >ntil he was in his late si-ties, 'r. Hofferit=, an inveterate $achelor, had sle(t with his longtime housekee(er, Shirley 1c0en=ie. The se- (art of it had slowly dried u(; the last time, as well as Hofferit= could recall, had $een a$out fourteen years $efore, and that had $een something of an anomaly. .ut the two of them had remained close/ in fact, with the se- gone, the friendshi( had dee(ened and had lost some of that tense (rickliness that seems to $e at the center of most se-ual relationshi(s. Their friendshi( had $ecome of that (latonic variety that seems to genuinely o$tain only in the very young and in the very old of the o((osite se-. Still, Hofferit= held onto his knowledge of the 1anderses& &$oarder& for $etter than three months. Then, one night in 6e$ruary, after three glasses of wine while he and Shirley 9who had +ust that January turned seventy*five: were watching television, he told her the whole story, after swearing her to com(lete secrecy. Secrets, as a( could have told 'r. Hofferit=, are even more unsta$le than >*?HI, and sta$ility lessens (ro(ortionately as the secret is told. Shirley 1c0en=ie ke(t the secret for.almost a month $efore telling her $est girlfriend, Hortense .arclay. Hortense ke(t the secret for a$out ten days $efore telling her $est girlfriend, hristine Traegger. hristine told her hus$and and her $est friends 9all three of them: almost immediately. This is how the truth s(reads in small towns/ and $y the night in A(ril when Irv and !orma had their overheard conversation, a good deal of Hastings 2len knew that they had taken in a mysterious girl. uriosity ran high. Tongues wagged. 4ventually the news reached the wrong (air of ears. A tele(hone call was made from a scram$ler (hone. Sho( agents closed in on the 1anders farm for the second time on the last day of A(ril/ this time they came across the dawn fields through a s(ring mist, like horrific invaders from ,lanet N in their $right flame*resistant suits. .acking them u( was a !ational 2uard unit who didn&t know what the fuck they were doing or why they had $een ordered out to the (eaceful little town of Hastings 2len, !ew "ork. They found Irv and !orma 1anders sitting stunned in their kitchen, a note $etween them. Irv had found it that morning when he arose at five o&clock to milk the cows. It was one line; I think I know what to do now. Love, harlie. She had eluded the Sho( again * $ut wherever she was, she was alone. The only consolation was that this time she didn&t have so far to hitch. %% The li$rarian was a young man, twenty*si- years old, $earded, long*haired. Standing in front of his desk was a little girl in a green $louse and $lue+eans. In one hand she held a (a(er sho((ing $ag. She was woefully thin, and the young man wondered what the hell her mother and father had $een feeding her . . . if anything. He listened to her 5uestion carefully and res(ectfully. Her daddy, she said, had told her that if you had a really hard 5uestion, you had to go to the li$rary to find the answer, $ecause at the li$rary they knew the answers to almost all the 5uestions. .ehind them, the great lo$$y of the !ew "ork ,u$lic Li$rary echoed dimly/ outside, the stone lions ke(t their endless watch. When she was done, the li$rarian reca(itulated, ticking of the salient (oints on his fingers. &Honest.& She nodded. &.ig . . . that is, nationwide.&
150
She nodded again. &!o ties to the government.& 6or the third time, the thin girl nodded. &'o you mind my asking why)& &I& * she (aused * &I have to tell them something.& The young man considered for several moments. He seemed a$out to s(eak, then held u( a finger and went and conferred with another li$rarian. He came $ack to the little girl and s(oke two words. & an you give me an address)& she asked. He found the address and then (rinted it carefully on a s5uare of yellow (a(er..&Thank you,& the girl said, and turned to &Listen,& he said, &when was the last time you had something to eat, kid) "ou want a cou(le of $ucks for lunch)& She smiled * an ama=ingly sweet and gentle smile. 6or a moment, the young li$rarian was almost in love. &I have money,& she said, and o(ened the sack so he could see. The (a(er $ag was filled with 5uarters. .efore he could say anything else * ask her if she had taken a hammer to her (iggy$ank, or what * she was gone. %? The little girl rode the elevator u( to the si-teenth floor of the skyscra(er. Several of the men and women who rode with her looked at her curiously * +ust a small girl in a green $louse and $lue+eans, holding a crum(led (a(er $ag in one hand and a Sunkist orange in the other. .ut they were !ew "orkers, and the essence of the !ew "ork character is to mind your own $usiness and let other (eo(le mind theirs. She got off the elevator, read the signs, and turned left. 'ou$le glass doors gave on a handsome rece(tion area at the end of the hall. Written $elow the two words the li$rarian had s(oken to her was this motto; &All the !ews That 6its.& harlie (aused outside a moment longer. &I&m doing it, 'addy,& she whis(ered. &3h, I ho(e I&m doing it right.& harlie 1c2ee tugged o(en one of the glass doors and went into the offices of 8olling Stone, where the li$rarian had sent her. The rece(tionist was a young woman with clear gray eyes. She looked at harlie for several seconds in silence, taking in the crum(led Sho( and Save $ag, the orange, the slightness of the girl herself she was slender almost to the (oint of emaciation, $ut tall for a child, and her face had a kind of serene, calm glow. She&s going to $e so $eautiful, the rece(tionist thought. &What can I do for you, little sister)& the rece(tionist asked, and smiled. &I need to see someone who writes for your maga=ine,& harlie said. Her voice was low, $ut it was clear and firm. &I have a story I want to tell. And something to show.& &Just like show*and*tell in school, huh)& the rece(tionist asked. harlie smiled. It was the smile that had so da==led the li$rarian. &"es,& she said. &I&ve $een waiting for a long time.&
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