411 SAT Essay Prompts and Writing Questions

411 SAT
ESSAY PROMPTS
AND WRITING QUESTIONS
411 SAT
ESSAY PROMPTS
AND WRITING
QUESTIONS
NEW
YORK
Copyright 2006 LearningExpress, LLC.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published in the United
States by LearningExpress, LLC, New York.
Library of Congress Catologing-in-Publication Data:
411 essay prompts and writing questions.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-57685-562-1 (alk. paper)
1. SAT (Educational test)Study guides. 2. Universities and colleges
United StatesEntrance examinationsStudy guides.
LB2353.57.A138 2006
378.1'662dc22
2006012695
Printed in the United States of America
98765432
ISBN 978-1-57685-562-1
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Contents
INTRODUCTION
PRETEST
CHAPTER 1
Ready, Get Set . . .
15
CHAPTER 2
Recognizing Sentence Errors
25
CHAPTER 3
Improving Sentences Questions
49
CHAPTER 4
Improving Paragraphs Questions
93
CHAPTER 5
Responding to Quotation Prompts
117
CHAPTER 6
Responding to Idea Prompts
135
POSTTEST
155
411 SAT
ESSAY PROMPTS
AND WRITING QUESTIONS
Introduction
As any scary book or movie proves repeatedly, the most frightening thing anyone
usually has to face is the unknown or unexpected. If you know that you are going
to be attacked by a hostile alien from Pluto, you can prepare for it with the appropriate high-tech weaponry. If you know that a crazed former high school sweetheart
looking for revenge is waiting in the basement, you can call 911 and then run. Its
the not knowing what is around the corner that is usually the most intimidating.
he same is true when it comes to taking the SAT. If you dont know what the SAT is going to be like
or what questions it is going to ask, your imagination can really scare you into thinking it is much
worse than it is or lead you to believe it is something it isnt. By taking the time to study and understand what actually is on the SAT (versus what you imagine might be), you will be prepared. You will know exactly
what to expect and thus, how to prepare (and how not to).
411 SAT Essay Prompts and Writing Questions will show you what is going to be in the SAT Writing section,
as well as what you need to know to ace it. It takes the mysteryand thus the fearout of the whole study process
and gives you the information you need to get a stronger, higher score.
INTRODUCTION
Following that theme, lets start off by removing the unknown from how this book is designed. Here is what
we are going to do:
take a look at some of the basic strategies of taking the SAT, such as using the process of elimination and
coping with test anxiety
explain in-depth each of the four different kinds of writing challenges the SAT gives you and how to address
each one, including the essay portion
give you hundreds (yes, hundreds!) of examples of the multiple-choice questions and writing prompts you
will find on the test and show you how to figure out the correct responses to them
discuss how the SAT is scored
With these tools, you can walk into the classroom and when you see the Writing section of the SAT, it will
be like seeing an old friend.
Ready? Dont worry. This is much easier than facing an alien or former sweetheart.
Pretest
o find out how well you already know what you will be tested on, take a brief pretest. The following
25 questions will include:
9 identifying sentence errors questions

12 improving sentences questions
3 improving paragraphs questions
1 writing prompt
Without doing any more reading or studying, take this test and see how you do. After you have read the following chapters and have had the chance to learn the rules, there will be a posttest. It will be exciting to see what
improvements you have made!
Ready? Make sure youve already had a drink, gone to the bathroom, taken some deep breaths, and relaxed
yourself. Even though you wont have to do this test on a time limit (like you will on the SAT), do it as fast as you
can. On the official test, you will only have 35 minutes to do 60 questions. At that rate, this one should only take
you about 15 minutes or less. Pick up that sharpened number two pencil and see how it goes. Good luck!
LEARNINGEXPRESS ANSWER SHEET
PRETEST
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PRETEST
Questions
The following sentences test your knowledge of grammar, usage, diction, and idiom. Some sentences are correct
as is. No sentence has more than one error. You will find the error, if there is one, underlined and lettered. Elements of the sentence that are not underlined will not be changed. In choosing answers, follow the requirements
of standard written English. If there is an error, select the one underlined part that must be changed to make the
sentence correct. If there is no error, select choice e.
1. According to the reporter, there is multiple political reasons behind the unexpected riot
a
b
c
going on downtown this afternoon. No error.
d
e
2. Televisions, which have been a part of American culture for half a century, is more prevalent in American
a
b
c
homes than functioning bathrooms. No error.
d
e
3. Although various fans seen the winning shot clearly, the referee still would not change his initial ruling and
a
b
c
the player was instantly put on the bench. No error.
d
e
4. At the local community library, patrons may check out an unlimited number of books, but the overdue
a
b
c
fines are much higher than other libraries. No error.
d
e
5. On the stage, the magician created an allusion that shocked the entire audience into total silence, followed
a
b
c
by thundering applause. No error.
d
e
6. Several award-winning authors publish only one book per year, but due to the ongoing media coverage,
a
b
c
appeared to write much more. No error.
d
e
7. A new homeowner commonly struggles to cope with a debt load that far exceeds their actual income.
a
b
c
d
No error.
e
7
PRETEST
8. One cannot get adequate physical rest if you continuously stay up too late, get up too early, and
a
b
c
skip meals too often. No error.
d
e
9. Studies have shown that the students who turn in careful prepared lab reports do extremely well in
a
b
c
science classes such as chemistry and physics. No error.
d
e
11. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle created one of the most

well-known and admired detectives in literature,
Sherlock Holmes is recognized in virtually every
country of the world.
a. in literature, Sherlock Holmes is recognized
b. in literature Sherlock Holmes is recognized
c. in literature; Sherlock Holmes is recognized
d. in literature and Sherlock Holmes is recognized
e. in literature, however, Sherlock Holmes
is recognized
The following sentences test correctness and effectiveness of expression. In choosing answers, follow the
requirements of standard written English; in other
words, pay attention to grammar, choice of words, sentence construction, and punctuation. In each of the
following sentences, part of the sentence or the entire
sentence is underlined. Beneath each sentence, you will
find five options for phrasing that underlined part.
Choice a repeats the original, so if you believe it is correct as is, this is the correct answer. Your choice should
produce the most effective sentenceclear and precise,
without awkwardness or ambiguity.
12. The reluctant reporter asked the witnesses relevant questions from the local television station.
a. The reluctant reporter asked the witnesses relevant questions from the local television station.
b. The reluctant reporter asked the witnesses
relevant questions, from the local television
station.
c. From the local television station, witnesses
were asked relevant questions by the reluctant
reporter.
d. The witnesses were asked relevant questions by
the reluctant reporter since she was from the
local television station.
e. The reluctant reporter from the local television
station asked the witnesses relevant questions.
10. While multiple movie makers try to convince

filmgoers that global warming is just around the
corner, others, thanks to hard core research, not
so sure.
a. others, thanks to hard core research, not
so sure.
b. others; thanks to hard core research; not
so sure.
c. others, thanks to hard core research, are not
so sure.
d. others thanks to hard core research so not
so sure.
e. others, thanks to hard core research, however,
not so sure.
PRETEST
15. To qualify for the typical college scholarship, a

student must show financial need, have exemplary grades, or excelling in some kind of sport.
a. show financial need, have exemplary grades,
or excelling
b. show financial need, have exemplary grades,
or excel
c. show financial need, have exemplary grades,
or excelled
d. show financial need or have exemplary grades,
or excelling
e. show financial need, having exemplary grades,
or excelling
13. The laptop computer was stored safely in the

luggage compartment; there was no chance of it
falling out or getting lost.
a. luggage compartment; there was no chance
b. luggage compartment, there was no chance
c. luggage compartment because there was
no chance
d. luggage compartment; no chance
e. luggage compartment there was no chance
14. After studying for more than three hours, the
test went much better than the student could
have hoped.
a. After studying for more than three hours, the
test went much better than the student could
have hoped.
b. Studying for more than three hours, the test
went much better than the student could
have hoped.
c. The test went much better than the student
could have ever hoped, he had studied for
more than three hours.
d. After studying for more than three hours, the
student did much better on the test than he
could have hoped.
e. For more than three hours the student had
studied, the test went much better than he
could have hoped.
16. Community libraries must continually strive for

the necessary funds to purchase contemporary
materials, implement up-to-date technology,
and continuously meeting the varying needs
of patrons.
a. implement up-to-date technology, and
continuously meeting
b. implementing up-to-date technology, and
continuously meeting
c. implement up-to-date technology, and
continuous meeting
d. implementation of up-to-date technology,
and continuously meeting
e. implement up-to-date technology, and
continuously meet
PRETEST
19. Since computers have become an integral part of

modern American culture, people of all ages and
backgrounds have had to adapt to new terminology as well as new skills.
a. people of all ages and backgrounds have
had to adapt to new terminology as well as
new skills.
b. because people of all ages and backgrounds
have had to adapt to new terminology as well
as new skills.
c. although people of all ages and backgrounds
as new skills.
d. however people of all ages and backgrounds
as new skills.
e. for people of all ages and backgrounds have
had to adapt to new terminology as well as
new skills.
17. Charles Dickens wrote multiple best-selling

novels in his lifetime, because A Christmas Carol
is the one the average person knows the best.
a. lifetime, because A Christmas Carol is the one
the average person knows the best.
b. lifetime, so A Christmas Carol is the one the
average person knows the best.
c. lifetime, but A Christmas Carol is the one the
d. lifetime, since A Christmas Carol is the one the
e. lifetime, A Christmas Carol is the one the
18. Although she helped support each one of her
brothers grand endeavors, but Orville and
Wilbur Wrights sister Katherine was never truly
perceived as a hero.
a. but Orville and Wilbur Wrights sister Katherine was never truly perceived as a hero.
b. because Orville and Wilbur Wrights sister
Katherine was never truly perceived as a hero.
c. since Orville and Wilbur Wrights sister
Katherine was never truly perceived as a hero.
d. Orville and Wilbur Wrights sister Katherine
was never truly perceived as a hero.
e. and Orville and Wilbur Wrights sister Katherine was never truly perceived as a hero.
20. Various famous writers have included nonsensical

verse in their poetry, no one has ever been able to
do it as well as Lewis Carroll did in Jabberwocky.
a. Various famous writers have included
nonsensical verse in their poetry,
b. Although various famous writers have
included nonsensical verse in their poetry,
c. Because various famous writers have included
d. Since various famous writers have included
e. However, various famous writers have
included nonsensical verse in their poetry,
10
PRETEST
21. Reality television is a trend that highlighted

peoples fascination with coping with common
phobias, facing daunting challenges, and win
large amounts of money.
a. and win large amounts of money.
b. plus win large amounts of money.
c. and won large amounts of money.
d. and large amounts of money.
e. and winning large amounts of money.
(7) Best of all, souvenirs from nature are free,

bountiful, and inspirational for children. (8) Leaves,
flowers, seeds, weeds, acorns, bark, and twigs can be
brought home and used to create collages, scrapbooks, poems, or ballads, thus preserving natures
beauty indefinitely.
22. In this essay, the author does all of the following
EXCEPT
a. explain how the world of nature can be a
source of inspiration.
b. give multiple, clear examples of ideas for art
found in nature.
c. provide precise directions on how to create a
nature collage.
d. describe how souvenirs from nature can be
used for creativity.
e. discuss how parents sometimes overlook
artistic opportunities.
The following passage is an early draft of a students essay, and parts of it need to be rewritten. Read
the passage and answer the questions that follow it.
Some questions are about individual sentences or parts
of sentences. Here, you are asked to select the choice
that will improve the sentence structure and word
choice. Other questions refer to parts of the essay or
even the entire essay and ask you to look carefully at its
organization and development. You should follow the
conventions of standard written English in answering
the questions.
23. In context, which is the best revision of the underlined part of sentence 1 (reproduced below)?
(1) One of the most beautiful resources to inspire

any young artist can be found right outside your
own front door. (2) The world of nature offers limitless ideas for all the artsfrom the beauty of a
sunset and the lilting notes of birdsong to the
graceful lines of an animal in motion or the starkness of tree limbs against a winter sky. (3) Many of
the arts most famous masters turned to the world
surrounding them to find the inspiration for their
masterpieces.
(4) Children can easily become absorbed by
natures beauty. (5) Parents, usually wrapped up in
maintaining the daily routine, may not recognize
their childrens fascination and hurry them along.
(6) The cognizant parent can capitalize on these
moments and show their children how the purity
of a dandelion or the chattering of squirrels can be
turned into anything from a sonnet to a sketch to
a song.
One of the most beautiful resources to inspire any

young artist can be found right outside your own
front door.
a. as it is now
b. can be found right outside a childs own
front door.
c. can be found right outside their own
front door.
d. can be found right outside hers own front door.
e. can be found right outside my own front door.
11
PRETEST
25. Some people believe that success comes through

sheer drive and determination, while others think
that it comes from natural and developed talents.
Actress Sophia Loren once stated, Getting ahead
in a difficult profession requires avid faith in
yourself. That is why some people with mediocre
talent, but with great inner drive, go much further
than people with vastly superior talent.
24. Which of the following is the best way to

combine sentences 4 and 5 (reproduced below)?
Children can easily become absorbed by natures
beauty. Parents, usually wrapped up in maintaining the daily routine, may not recognize their childrens fascination and hurry them along.
a. Children can easily become absorbed by
natures beauty, but parents, usually wrapped
up in maintaining the daily routine, may not
recognize their childrens fascination and
hurry them along.
b. Children can easily become absorbed by
natures beauty, parents, usually wrapped up
in maintaining the daily routine, may not recognize their childrens fascination and hurry
them along.
c. Children can easily become absorbed by
natures beauty because parents, usually
wrapped up in maintaining the daily routine,
may not recognize their childrens fascination
and hurry them along.
d. Children can easily become absorbed by
natures beauty, furthermore, parents, usually
wrapped up in maintaining the daily routine,
may not recognize their childrens fascination
and hurry them along.
e. Children can easily become absorbed by
natures beauty and parents, usually wrapped
up in maintaining the daily routine, may not
recognize their childrens fascination and
hurry them along.
Assignment: What do you think is more

important to successtalent or drive? Plan
your response and write an essay in which
you develop your point of view on this issue.
Support your position with reasoning and
examples taken from your reading, studies,
experiences, or observations.
12
PRETEST
Answers
10. c. This is an example of a fragment. There is
no verb in this sentence. Only choice c adds a
verb (are) to make it a complete sentence. The
other options add coordinating conjunctions,
which does not repair the fragment.
11. c. This is an example of a run-on sentence. To
repair it, you need to either insert a semicolon
between the sentences or break them into two
separate sentences. Choice c is the only one to
do this.
12. e. This question tests your ability to spot a
misplaced modifier. The phrase from the
local television station modifies reporter, but
because of its placement, it appears to modify
the witnesses. It needs to be moved next to
what it is supposed to modify, as shown in
choice e. Choice d moves it closer but is
wordy and redundant.
13. a. There is no error in this statement. It is an
example of two complete sentences, which
have been properly joined by a semicolon.
14. d. The way this is written, the test is what studied
for three hours, instead of the student. The
modifier needs to be placed next to what it is
describing, as in choice d. Although it is moved
in choice e as well, it is awkward and wordy.
15. b. This statement has an error called faulty
parallelism. It has three verbs (show, have,
and excelling), and they are not in the same
tense. The way to correct this is to make
excelling match the others, as in choice b.
16. e. This statement also has the error of faulty parallelism. There are four verbs (strive, purchase,
implement, and meeting). The last one ends in
-ing, and so it doesnt fit with the others. The
correction is found in choice e where the last
verb is changed to meet.
17. c. This type of question is testing whether or not
you can recognize that you need to join two
clauses correctly and show their relationship
1. b. In this question, the subject of the sentence

(reasons) follows the verb (is). Plural subjects
need plural verbs, so the sentence error is in
choice b. Instead of is, the verb should be are
in order to have subject-verb agreement.
2. c. In this question, the subject (televisions) has
been separated from the verb (is) by a dependent clause (which have been a part of American
culture for half a century). When you put them
next to each other, you can see that the error is
in c; it should read are more prevalent.
3. a. This question is testing your understanding
of the past participle. In this example, the verb
(seen) is a past participle and requires a helping verb (have or be). The way to correct
choice a is to change seen to saw.
4. e. There is no error in this example. Remember
that correct sentences will also be on the test.
5. b. At first glance, this sentence may seem
correct. The error is in using the wrong word.
It should not be allusion, which means to
allude to something. It should be illusion.
6. d. There are two verbs in this sentence, and they
must be in the same tense. The first verb
(publish) is present, but the second one
(appeared) is past. The error is in choice d
where the verb should be changed to appear.
7. d. This is an example of using a pronoun in the
wrong number. The subject (homeowner) is
singular, and so the pronoun (their) should
be singular also. It would be correct to say
far exceeds his or her actual income.
8. b. This is an example of pronoun shift. The
sentence begins with a noun (one) and then
shifts to the wrong pronoun (you). When the
noun one is used, he, she, one, or a person
must follow it later.
9. b. This question is an example of a misuse of an
adverb (careful). It is modifying the verb prepared and should have an -ly ending (carefully).
13
PRETEST
18. d.
19. a.
20. b.
21. e.
22. c. This question is looking at the essays general

organization or meaning. It wants to know if
you understood what the author didand
did not doin the essay. The essay did discuss
how nature is a source of inspiration, where
ideas can be found, what kind of souvenirs
can be used, and how parents sometimes
overlook opportunities. Although the essay
did mention a collage, it did not provide
directions on how to make one.
23. b. This is a question that focuses on revising or
improving a sentence within the essay. In this
example, the pronoun your is incorrect, as the
rest of the essay is written in the third person.
Their does not agree with artist because it is
plural. Hers is a possessive pronoun and my is
in the first person, so neither of these choices
works, either. The only correct choice is b,
which matches child to artist.
24. a. This question is asking you to combine two
of the essays sentences into one. This is a
common SAT question. It is important that
no meaning is lost and that the punctuation
and grammar are correct in the answer
choice you choose. It is also important that
the right coordinating conjunction is used to
fit the sentences meaning. Choice b connects
the sentences with a comma, creating a runon sentence. Choices c and d use the wrong
conjunction for the meaning of the sentence.
Choice e adds and, which does not emphasize
the correct meaning of the sentence.
25. Answers will vary.
to each other. Here the two clauses (Charles

Dickens wrote multiple best-selling novels in
his lifetime and A Christmas Carol is the one
the average person knows the best) are joined
by because, but that does not show the correct
relationship between the clauses. Instead, it
should be but.
In this sentence, you have a dependent clause
(Although she helped support each one of
her brothers grand endeavors), followed by
another dependent clause (but Orville and
Wilbur Wrights sister Katherine was never
truly perceived as a hero). Whenever a sentence
starts with a dependent clause (your clue is it
cannot stand alone and starts with although),
it must be followed by an independent clause
(a statement that grammatically can stand on
its own). If it doesnt, this is called faulty
subordination. By removing the but, as in
choice d, your second clause becomes
dependent, and the sentence is correct.
There are no errors in this sentence. A dependent clause is followed by an independent one,
and the statement is grammatically correct.
This question is testing you on recognizing a
run-on sentence. Choice b turns the first sentence into a dependent clause, thus making
the sentence correct.
This is another example of faulty parallelism.
There are three verbs in the sentence (coping,
facing, and win), and to be parallel, win needs
to be changed to winning.
14
C H A P T E R
Ready, Get Set . . .

Taking a test is not necessarily a simple thing, especially when taking
an influential one like the SAT. Most likely, your teachers, counselors,
parents, and friends have told you repeatedly that the score you get on
it is commonly a real factor in which colleges are willing to give you a
chance and which ones are not.
lthough SAT scores are a long way from a life or death issue, they are unquestionably important. The
key to getting high scores lies in adequate preparation, so lets get prepared.
Keeping Calm, Cool, and Collected
If you have ever participated in any kind of competitive school activity like sports, debate, music, or drama, you
know that it is normal to be nervous. Your hands could shake, you could sweat, and your breathing could be
rapid. You are sure you have forgotten everything you have learned. You pace and wait as time slows down to
a crawl. All of these are symptoms of anxiety, and whether youre getting ready to sing a solo or open your test
booklet, they feel virtually the same.
Being nervous before you take the SAT is perfectly normal. A little anxiety can make you extra alert and even
improve your performance. Too much anxiety can make you become virtually paralyzed. Obviously, the main way
15
READY, GET SET . . .
to avoid test anxiety is to be prepared for what is coming. Thats simple; we will deal with that in the rest of the
book. Here are some of the other ways to combat that mounting fear:
Get enough rest before the test. You may think that staying up all night studying is going to improve your
scores, but youre wrong. Fatigue will do more to lower your scores than any last-minute studying will raise
it. Plan to get at least eight hours of sleep the night before the test and make them as restful as possible. No
friends over, no late-night snacking sessions, and no distractions. Dont go overboard either and decide to
sleep 14 or more hours straight either. That will just throw off your internal clock enough to have you
completely confused by the time you go in to take the test.
Make sure you go into the test with a full stomach. A good breakfast is essential. It will help keep you awake
and alert, and you wont get distracted by those tummy rumbles. Avoid anything with caffeine, including
chocolate, coffee, and soda. Caffeine may make you feel more awake, but it can increase the anxiety, and
as it wears off, your energy may disappear completely.
Start off your test with some deep breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth to the count of
at least ten. Do this several times. It will get your body to let go and relax a little bit more.
Stretch your neck and shoulders before you start. Those muscles are the ones most likely to be carrying
your stress as you take the test. If they can relax, then your body can concentrate on sending energy and
blood flow to the most important partyour brain.
Think happy thoughts. If you inundate your brain with negative thoughts like, Im going to flunk this test
or This is going to go terribly, then dont be too surprised when it happens. After all, you told you brain it was
going to go badly, so it made sure that you were right. On the other hand, if you fill your mind with positive
thoughts like I will do well on this test or I am really prepared for the SAT, then the same is true. Your mind
will do its best to make sure this comes true for you as well.
It is very important to keep your test anxiety to a minimum. If you are focused on not throwing up or keeping your hands from shaking so much you cant hold the pencil, you certainly cannot concentrate on what the test
is asking you to do. Practice deep breathing, stretching, and thinking positively for weeks before the test so you
know how to call on these exercises for help on test day.
A Valuable Strategy
The process of elimination (POE) is a great strategy when you are taking the SAT. Here are the basics: When you
read a test question, two things will happeneither you will know the answer or you will not. If you know the
answer right away, then mentally give yourself a pat on the back, fill in the appropriate little circle, and go on to
the next question. If you do not know the answer, however, you will have to reread the question and choices.
For the first three parts of the SAT Writing section, you will be dealing with multiple-choice questions, and
for each correct answer, you will receive one point. They are arranged in easy, medium, and hard levels. With
multiple-choice questions, knowing how to use POE is quite important and helpful. You will have five answers
to choose from. Scan them, and if you see one that you are sure is not the right one, get rid of it. Now you are
16
down to four choices. Every time you can eliminate one answer choice, your chances of getting the answer right
increase. If you get it down to four, its a 25% chance of being right; down to three, its 33.3%; down to two, its
50%. When you keep in mind that a nonanswered question (left blank) is an automatic zero and you will only
1
lose 4 of a point for each wrong answer, you can see that taking out the answers you know are not correct and
making an educated guess is a good strategy. Just remember, when you can narrow the choices, you have a better chance of getting the right answer.
Time for an Over view
Now, lets take a detailed look at what goes into each type of question you will find on the SAT. Each one is unique
and calls for a specific kind of response and knowledge. There are a total of 49 multiple-choice questions in the
Writing section, and you will be given 35 minutes to complete them; that is more than one question a minute (just
over 30 seconds each to be precise), so you have to keep moving.
Section 1: Identifying Sentence Errors Questions
This first section is going to see how well you can recognize a mistake in grammar or usage. It wont ask you to
name or label it; you just have to recognize it and know the best way to fix it. Of course, here and there, the SAT
will include a question that has no mistakes, and you need to be able to spot that question type as well. You will
have approximately 18 questions on identifying sentence errors, so it is important to understand how they work.
With identifying sentence errors questions, always assume that the words and/or phrases that are NOT underlined are grammatically correct and that there is only one error.
Here is how one of these questions will look. A statement will have four parts (either words or phrases) underlined, and they will be labeled a, b, c, and d. Choice e will always be No error, or in other words, the sentence is
just fine as it is. Lets look at one:
Even though the number of girls coming to the party are shrinking, Katherine is determined to have it
a
b
c
d
anyway. No error.
e
Do any of the underlined words or phrases strike you as wrong? If so, great. You have your answer. If not,
you need to reread.
Read the sentence aloud in your mind and see if you can hear a mistake. What answer did you come up
with? If you choose c, you are right. The subject (number) is singular, so the verb should be also. This is an example of one of the most common questions on the SAT.
This section will test a lot of different grammar rules. The example you just read, for instance, tests subjectverb agreement. That is one of the 18 different things sentence errors will test you on. Here is the complete list.
Please note that the ones with one asterisk (*) appear on the SAT an average of three times or more. Those with
two asterisks (**) appear twice on average, and those with three asterisks (***) appear once on average.
17
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
subject-verb agreement when the subject follows the verb*

subject-verb agreement when the subject and verb are separated*
subject-verb agreement when the subject seems plural but is not*
confusion of the simple past and past participle*
confusion of the infinitive and gerund*
non-idiomatic preposition following a verb*
wrong word usage*
wrong verb tense*
number agreement problems**
pronoun in the wrong number**
pronoun in the wrong case in compound noun phrases**
pronoun shift**
pronoun with ambiguous reference**
faulty comparison***
misuse of adjective or adverb***
double negatives***
sentence fragments, run-ons, and comma splices***
parallel construction***
Dont be scared off by these names. Sometimes, people recognize these errors and how to fix them without
knowing the exact grammar/usage rule that is being broken. Remember that you dont have to name the mistake
or know the grammar rule; you just have to spot which underlined word or phrase is wrong and choose it.
On average, about one in five questions in this section of the SAT is error-free (choice e). If you
have fewer than this, you might be seeing mistakes where there arent any. If you have a lot more,
you are probably missing some errors.
Section 2: Improving Sentences Questions
This section is similar to the first one; the main difference is how you are choosing an answer. Instead of pointing out the word or phrase that is wrong and being done with it, here you will be figuring out if something is wrong
with one underlined word or phrase and picking the best version of the underlined portion of the sentence. You
will have approximately 25 of this type of question to answer in this section of the SAT.
With improving sentences questions, answer choice a will always be a repeat of the underlined portion. If
you choose a, it means you are saying there is no error.
Here is how one of these questions will look:
18
The Civil Rights Movement fought to show everyone that all people are created equal this is a right set
forth in the Declaration of Independence.
a. created equal this is a right
b. created equal, this is a right
c. created equal; since this is a right
d. created equal; this is a right
e. created equality; this is a right
Did you spot an error? Clearly, this is a question dealing with proper punctuation. Which one fixes the error,
or is there an error? In this case, the correct answer is d. This is a run-on sentence, and it can be repaired by either
inserting a semicolon, a period, or a coordinating conjunction. Choice d was the only one to do this.
In this portion of the test, you will be tested on errors in grammar, expression, or style. Examples will
include mistakes in word choice, sentence structure, grammar, usage, and punctuation. You will need to know
how to identify:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
run-on sentences
fragments
misplaced modifiers
faulty parallelism
faulty coordination or subordination
The process of elimination works especially well in this portion of the test. Immediately strike out the ones
that you know are wrong and see what you are left with. As a general rule, never choose an answer that substantially changes the meaning of the entire sentence, even if it is grammatically correct.
Section 3: Improving Paragraphs Questions
This section has fewer questions than the others (approximately 6), but thats good because they take a lot more
time to answer. The reason is simple: You have a lot more to read for each one.
In this section, you will have what looks like a students first draft of a paper, usually ranging between three
and five paragraphs long. You will be asked multiple questions about each essay. These questions might involve
a single sentence in the essay, or they could cover phrases, paragraphs, or the entire essay. Each sentence will be
numbered for easy reference back to it. The most common things you will be asked to do are: revise (relocate,
remove, or add a sentence; or fix an error as in the second section of the test where you are asked to pick the best
version of the underlined portion of the sentence), combine (put two or more sentences together in order to show
proper coordination or subordination), and answer questions about content (describe the purpose of or find the
main idea of a particular paragraph).
Here are some examples of this type of question:
(1) Going on the road and keeping up with your e-mail can be quite the challenge for some travelers. (2) If you
can afford to stay in the expensive hotels that either offer free or relatively inexpensive Internet service, it may
not be much of an issue. (3) However, many travelers do not have that option, including those who are renting cabins, pitching tents, or have to stay in budget motels. (4) What choices do they have?
19
(5) For these journeyers, it may come down to using public libraries, visiting coffee shops, or searching
billboards for those magical words Internet service available. (6) None of these options is terribly convenient,
and some of them can end up being more than a little spendy. (7) Others are really time-consuming.
(8) Finding a place to get access to the Internet is often difficult. (9) You are frequently in an unfamiliar
city with little to no idea where to find anything beyond a gas station and a fast-food restaurant. (10) If you
happen to have your own laptop, of course, you can just search for a place offering free wifi. (11) That is the
way the future is going.
In context, which of the following is the best way to revise sentence 3?
However, many travelers do not have that option, including those who are renting cabins, pitching tents, or
have to stay in budget motels.
a. as it is now
b. However, many travelers do not have that option, including those who are rent cabins, pitch tents, or
stay in budget motels.
c. However, many travelers do not have that option, including those who are renting cabins, pitching tents,
or staying in budget motels.
d. However, many travelers do not have that option, including renting cabins, pitching tents, or staying in
budget motels.
e. However, many travelers do not have the option of renting cabins, pitching tents, or staying in budget motels.
This question is focusing on one particular sentence in the essay. Did you spot the mistake? This time it happens to be in parallelism. The verbs rent, pitch, and stay should all be parallel. Choice c makes them parallel (all
end in -ing) without changing the meaning of the sentence.
What is the best way to combine sentences 6 and 7?
None of these options is terribly convenient, and some of them can end up being more than a little spendy. Others are really time-consuming.
a. None of these options is terribly convenient, and some of them can end up being more than a little
spendy; time-consuming.
b. None of these options is terribly convenient, and some of them can end up more than a little spendy,
others are really time-consuming.
c. None of these options is terribly convenient, and some of them can end up being more than a little
spendy because they are really time-consuming.
d. None of these options is terribly convenient, and some of them can end up being more than a little
spendy, and others are really very time-consuming.
e. None of these options is terribly convenient, and some of them can end up being more than a little
spendy and time-consuming.
20
This question is asking you about several sentences within the essay. Which one of these options best combines the information and retains the original meaning without creating a grammatical error? If you chose e, you
are correct. It eliminated wordiness and used correct punctuation.
Here is one more question about the same essay.
The writers main purpose of the essay is to
a. prove that getting your e-mail on the road is impossible.
b. persuade readers to get their own laptops before traveling.
c. show how more expensive hotels are the better option to use.
d. describe the different options travelers have to get their e-mail.
e. analyze the most inexpensive way to track down wifi in a town.
This question is asking you about the essay as a whole. Which one do you think best summarizes the main
idea of the essay? If you chose d, you are correct. This essay does not say getting e-mail is impossible, nor does it
try to persuade readers or analyze wifi trends.
Other questions that could be asked about this essay include improving content by providing more details
or examples (Why is a place inconvenient? How much is expensive? Why do some places take up so much time?
Why does having your own laptop make a difference?), whether spendy is a word that should be used in a formal
essay, and whether the essay could be improved by removing the last sentence.
In this section, you will generally be tested on spotting:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
flaws in organization
faulty emphasis on ideas
illogical development
disjointed thinking
errors in basic grammar, usage, and style
With this type of question, it is important that you read the entire essay, but read it quickly so that you get
the gist of it without the details. Once you start answering the questions, you can go back and read which section
you need to make the right choice. Be sure to read the sentence before and after the section you are being asked
about because it is often relevant to determining the correct answer.
Section 4: Responding to Writing Prompts
Okay, the multiple-choice portion is now over. Take another one of those deep breaths because it is time to start
the newest part of the SAT: the essay. You will have 25 minutes to read the prompt, respond, and write your essay,
so you need to know what to expect.
Here is the good news. First of all, you are not being graded on punctuation or spelling in this essay. However, while the scorers will not be checking your spelling or making sure there are no comma splices, if you have
enough of these kinds of mistakes, it will make your essay harder to read and understand. If this happens, your
score is bound to reflect it. Secondly, you will be given a topic, so you dont have to come up with one of your own.
21
Sigh again. Lastly, accuracy isnt necessary either. If you botch a date or a name, dont worry about it. It wont factor into your score.
Now for the tough stuff. You will primarily be expected to write in complete sentences and without using a
great deal of slang. You will have about 240 lines to fill up and you need to fill them up. That usually works out to
be between 300 and 450 words, depending on your handwriting. Dont try to write big, skip lines, or make huge
indentations for each paragraph. You need to fill those lines up with the best thesis statement and supporting details
that you can possibly come up with in your limited time slot. Fill them up. Dont go over and dont leave more
than a couple blank (at most). Lastly, make your writing legible. In this day of doing everything on the computer,
it may feel very strange to handwrite a paper, but until they implement online SATs, you have to handwrite your
essay. If it is impossible or just challenging to read, can you imagine how the SAT test scorer is going to react when
he or she sees it? Dont hurt your score just because you scribble.
The essay portion of the SAT is designed to give you a writing prompt that you read and respond to with
your own personal opinion, experiences, and/or knowledge. There is no right or wrong answer; if you want to say
that yes, you think Barry Manilow was the best songwriter of the twentieth century, or that no, making dyed hair
illegal is not a good idea, thats fine. The scorers are not here to tell you your opinions are correct or incorrect. They
just want to see how well you write and support them.
Your writing prompt will consist either of a quote or a paragraph that you need to respond to. Here is an
example of each kind:
It has often been said that our actions speak louder than our words. As John Ruskin once stated, What we think,
or what we know, or what we believe, is in the end, of little consequence. The only thing of consequence is what
we do.
Assignment: What truly defines a persons character the most: words or actions? Plan your response and support
your position with specific points and examples from your observations, studies, reading, or personal experiences.
Some cities in the United States have set up curfews for anyone under the age of 18. Although some have reported
positive changes in crime rates and other issues, others have not seen any significant improvements.
Assignment: Does putting legal restrictions on young people help them stay safer or make them feel confined?
Plan your response and support your position with specific points and examples from your observations, studies, reading, or personal experiences.
In both kinds of prompts, the key is to read and understand what is being asked and then respond with a
definite opinion and supporting details. Make sure that you clearly understand what you are being asked to write
about. The only way you are going to get a zero on your essay is to leave it blank, write it illegibly, or write on the
wrong subject.
Your essay will be graded on the following:
22
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Did you address the correct topic?

Did you state an opinion one way or another?
Did you organize your points in a logical manner?
Did you have supporting details for the main point?
Were your details specific and detailed?
Although spelling and punctuation are not graded, they can affect the paper holistically, so do your best to
make sure these elements are correct. Of course, if you can remember to include some great paragraph transitions, a strong introduction and conclusion, and several strong examples for the body, your chance of a high score
is much better.
Ideally, after you read your writing prompt, you will take the time to roughly outline and/or brainstorm what
you want to say in your response. Time is limited, however, so that may prove impossible for you. Here is some
good advice on managing your time:
Minutes 0 to 5
Minutes 6 to 20
Minutes 21 to 25
Read and understand the prompt; then form your response.

Write the essay from beginning to end.
Proof for any mistakes and correct them.
Whats the Score?
On the multiple-choice portion of the test, you get one point for each correct answer, a quarter of a point off for
each incorrect answer, and no points for blank or unanswered questions. That is pretty cut and dried. It is a little less so on the essays.
On the essay, scores range from 0 to 6 points. Two scorers (usually a high school English teacher or a college English teacher) will read your essay, and each one of them will give it a score. They usually read through it
once as a whole and then score it. If the two graders scores are more than one point apart (i.e. one gives your essay
a 4, while another gives it a 2 or 6), a third scorer reads it and determines the final score.
Now that you know what to expect in the SAT Writing section, lets put those theories into practice. Sharpen
your pencils and get ready for practice, practice, practice.
23
C H A P T E R
Recognizing
Sentence Errors
The following are examples of the different identifying sentence errors
questions that you will be tested on in the SAT. There are 114 practice
questions, which means that you will know these types of questions
backward, forward, and upside down!
25
RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

1.
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41.
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27
c
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81.
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Questions
1. In Pacific Northwest cities like Seattle and Portland, there isnt hardly a single day when no rain falls.
a
b
c
d
No error.
e
2. Of the two digital cameras he showed me, I liked the silver one the best, not only because of its high pixels,
a
b
c
but also because of its price. No error.
d
e
3. If you plan on missing more than two basketball practices, you should contact your coach directly, or if you
a
b
cannot reach him, one must call the school administration office as soon as possible. No error.
c
d
e
4. The gathering of dark storm clouds, clearly indicated on the weathermans map, were definitely indicative
a
b
c
d
of an upcoming major weather event. No error.
e
5. Much to the dismay and disappointment of thousands of fans, neither the Buffy, the Vampire Slayer nor
a
b
c
Angel series is going to be renewed for television. No error.
d
e
6. The telephone rang so unexpected and there was such chaos already going on in the dorm room that it
a
b
was virtually impossible to hear who was speaking on the other end. No error.
c
d
e
7. To write a research paper good, you must not only understand the basics of grammar, spelling, and
a
b
c
punctuation, you must also be able to tell the difference between reliable facts and someones personal
d
opinion. No error.
e
29
8. All year round, tourists come to Oregon to hike the tree-covered hills, explore the pine forests, ski on the
a
b
c
snowy mountains, visit the sandy coast, and swimming in the chilly ocean. No error.
d
e
9. If one truly appreciates movies with unbelievable and unexpected twists, you certainly have to see
a
b
every single movie M. Night Shyamalan has ever produced. No error.
c
d
e
10. Horror writers, such as Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Clive Barker, and John Saul, commonly appears at
a
b
national conventions where they meet with fans, sign their books, and speak to crowds. No error.
c
d
e
11. The cost of first-class postage stamps continues to rise every few years, however, the price is still
a
b
c
relatively miniscule considering how far one stamp can take an envelope. No error.
d
e
12. When Caroline opened the front door of her apartment, the guests and all the family members
a
that had come from near and far jumped up from his or her hiding place and shouted, Surprise! No error.
b
c
d
e
13. Although volunteering looks good on a resume and can increase a high school students chance of
a
b
obtaining a scholarship, they take other elements into consideration, including grades, test scores, and
c
d
financial background. No error.
e
14. Neither of the contestants are planning to pursue a career in entertainment after their dismal failure in
a
b
c
front of the judges of American Idol even though they still wanted to be performers. No error.
d
e
15. The second haunted house was definitely the scariest of the two, although it was not quite as dark inside
a
b
and had a lot less small, screaming children running through it. No error.
c
d
e
30
16. Flightless birds, such as ostriches and emus, retain their wings, which they primarily use for balance when
a
b
they run, they even have been known to flap their wings up and down in order to maintain a comfortable
c
d
temperature. No error.
e
17. Although castles were commonly cold and uncomfortable places, they were cunningly designed to
a
b
c
d
withstand the siege of enemy forces, thanks to small windows, stone walls, and protective towers. No error.
e
18. The nave first-year college student frequently sleeps too late and parties too much, which, not too
a
b
surprisingly, can lead to their failing a class or even losing a scholarship. No error.
c
d
e
19. Josephs weekend plans so far included finishing his research paper, paying his rent and utilities, stopping
a
b
in for a visit with his grandparents, and to make out a new class schedule. No error.
c
d
e
20. When we were lined up in front of the concert hall yesterday, Shasta, the new girl I told you about from
a
Mr. Henrys science class, was the one standing between you and I. No error.
b
c
d
e
21. Although the fire department is currently calling for additional volunteers to help fight the local fires,
a
they do not seem to be getting a response from the vast majority of townspeople. No error.
b
c
d
e
22. The co-ed, newly formed basketball team, sponsored by several local organizations and businesses,
a
b
were already dressed in brand-new uniforms and ready to hit the court. No error.
c
d
e
23. Each of the authors who was honored at the citys new bookstores open house had been writing for more
a
b
than 20 years and had published at least two national best-sellers during his or her career. No error.
c
d
e
31
24. The medical study revealed that patients who asked their physicians questions during the consultation
a
b
responded better to treatment than those who are quiet throughout the appointment. No error.
c
d
e
25. It has been thought for many years that three-fourths of the planet Earth was covered in water, but in
a
b
recent years, some experts have begun to suspect that it might be even more than that. No error.
c
d
e
26. According to the teachers tally of votes, more than 60% of the history class are interested in taking a field
a
b
c
trip to tour the new art museum downtown. No error.
d
e
27. According to the newspaper survey, neither of the proposed candidates actually have enough experience or
a
b
c
education to mount a truly impressive or successful campaign. No error.
d
e
28. The bulk of Lewis Carrolls stories, as well as his famous poems like The Jabberwocky, are full of
a
b
c
nonsense terms that are confusing and amusing at the same time. No error.
d
e
29. Behind the stage were the props, dressing rooms, rack of costumes, and a place for all of the actors and
a
b
c
actresses to relax and rest between acts. No error.
d
e
30. Everybody who shows up to help with the float for the parade is going to receive unlimited pizza, soda, and
a
b
c
cookies, as well as a special community volunteering badge. No error.
d
e
31. Anyone interested in joining the newly formed drama club that meets on Friday afternoons are welcome to
a
b
c
d
attend an orientation meeting this week from 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. No error.
e
32
32. In most public libraries throughout the community, there isnt hardly a single book, magazine, video, or
a
b
compact disc that has not been checked out at least a dozen times. No error.
c
d
e
33. Without a doubt, Kevin is the best runner on the team because his speed, stamina, and stride guarantees a
a
b
c
strong performance in every single event he participates in. No error.
d
e
34. The ten-foot-tall arbor vitae hedges on either side of our house provide an immense amount of shade in
a
b
c
the summertime and welcome protection from the wind during the winter. No error.
d
e
35. When I first joined the high school debate club, the senior team leaders were unbelievably strict about
a
b
c
making you attend every single practice and have ones parents go to all competitive events. No error.
d
e
36. Considering the extreme heat today, I think it would be rather inadvisable for you to ride your bicycle as
a
b
c
quick as you did. No error.
d
e
37. Numerous Super Bowl fans thoroughly enjoy watching both teams cheerleaders, firmly believing that they
a
b
c
are the most entertaining aspect of the entire experience. No error.
d
e
38. After the tree was cut down, the workers spent the next few hours cutting off the numerous branches,
a
b
sweeping up the debris, and pick up the piles of leaves left on the ground. No error.
c
d
e
39. To mow a yard good, you must make sure the lawn mower is always kept in reliable condition and verify if
a
b
c
the homeowner has any specific landscaping requests or parameters. No error.
d
e
33
40. At the beginning of the movie, my friend Richard quietly moved into the empty seat between my sister and I
a
b
c
so that he could see the screen better. No error.
d
e
41. At the end of the evening, the class president, secretary, and treasurer all sweared that they would take
a
b
their jobs seriously and uphold all of the inherent responsibilities that came with these important positions.
c
d
No error.
e
42. Nicole could hardly do no better than to have taken first place in the Dance, Dance Revolution contest at
a
b
c
the local game store. No error.
d
e
43. Before she enrolled in community college, an attitude of apathy and lethargy were common, and thoughts
a
b
about the future were rarely ever considered. No error.
c
d
e
44. The second feature was definitely the longest of the two movies, although it was so riveting and had such
a
b
amazing special effects that I hardly even noticed. No error.
c
d
e
45. Right before the new school year started, the classroom, like many of the others in the school,
a
had been repainted and cleaned, while the desks were polished and rearranged. No error.
b
c
d
e
46. Michelles postcards, ticket stubs, magazine clippings, and personal letters were glued into her new
a
scrapbook; they represented the diversity and excitement that defines her life and personality. No error.
b
c
d
e
47. As the producer stated in the DVDs extras, to represent the tragedy of AIDS in Africa and how it has
a
destroyed the lives of thousands was the entire point of him producing the movie. No error.
b
c
d
e
34
48. At which point during the wedding ceremony does the people in the church stand up and repeat the verses
a
b
c
after the minister? No error.
d
e
49. My parents cant understand my television preferences, such as Bones, CSI, Night Stalker, or Medium
a
because they think it is too unsettling and disturbing. No error.
b
c
d
e
50. Of the two Clive Cussler novels I have read, I like Inca Gold the best, not only because I liked that era in
a
b
history, but also because of its gutsy main character, Dirk Pitt. No error.
c
d
e
51. For as long as I can remember, my two brothers and I fighted about almost every possible topic, including
a
b
c
what day it was, who was taller, and why the Beatles broke up. No error.
d
e
52. A number of the teachers which were working at the local community college were found to have attended
a
b
c
the exact same college and even graduated the very same year. No error.
d
e
53. If you are going to support the idea of Lyssa starting her own thrift shop, you should start gathering your
a
familys donations, and when one has at least three large garbage bags full of stuff, take it all over so she can
b
c
start pricing everything. No error.
d
e
54. The group of skaters which was practicing daily in the hopes of qualifying for the Olympics was found to
a
b
c
be skipping school on a regular basis in order to fit in more hours out on the rink. No error.
d
e
55. Many cell phone companies offer flexible programs like rollover minutes, family plans, and music
a
downloads because they think that will win over a growing number of new customers. No error.
b
c
d
e
35
56. When Jasmine set out to find a job, she decided that she would start with businesses different than the ones
a
b
c
her friends went to, including the bookstore, candy shop, and coffee bistro. No error.
d
e
57. The riveting The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown has been read by more people than any other in the
a
b
long history of The New York Times national best-sellers lists. No error.
c
d
e
58. If one takes the time to plan a vacation, map the best route, reserve the hotels, purchase the tickets, and
a
b
pack the luggage, the least you could do is be ready on time! No error.
c
d
e
59. Although Lydia knows everything there is to know about trees and plants, they do not think that her idea
a
b
c
of opening her own nursery is a very good one. No error.
d
e
60. After the whole terrible incident was finally over, I shaked from my head to my toes and I was covered in
a
b
c
d
goose bumps. No error.
e
61. Of the two Alfred Hitchcock movies I have seen, I like Psycho the best, not only because of its lighting,
a
b
but also because Anthony Perkins is one of my favorite actors. No error.
c
d
e
62. She and I earned enough money from the recyclables we turned in at the community center to have
a
b
enough to get both of the compact discs that we wanted. No error.
c
d
e
63. In large bookstores like Borders and Barnes and Noble, there isnt hardly a single plush chair where no
a
b
c d
people are sitting, browsing through books, or paging through magazines. No error.
e
36
64. If he truly enjoys action and adventure movies, I will certainly enjoy watching anything starring Jean
a
b
c
d
Claude van Damme, Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, or Jet Li. No error.
e
65. Birds like swifts and swallows spend the majority of the year living in central and southern Africa; in the
a
b
dry season, however, they fly to Europe where there is more food and warmer climates. No error.
c
d
e
66. Although Alexander Graham Bell was the one who discovered how to send the human voice along wires,
a
but it was Guglielmo Marconi who built the first machine able to send messages by radio wave. No error.
b
c
d
e
67. A good radio disc jockey is someone who plays the right combination of popular songs and golden oldies,
a
b
talks directly and personally to the listeners, and inserts commercials where needed. Also, their voice
c
d
should be deep and soothing. No error.
e
68. In the Shakespearian play, the character of Macbeth, a man with a domineering wife and a weak will, is
a
going to kill the king so he can take his place, but in the end, Macbeth placed the responsibility on his wife
b
c
instead. No error.
d
e
69. Because Phillip has a nasty case of the stomach flu, he hasnt ate a single bite of food in more than three
a
b c
d
days. No error.
e
70. Because so many novice writers receive innumerable rejection slips, regardless of their basic abilities,
a
b
c
one often gets terribly discouraged. No error.
d
e
37
71. Tracy had been waiting for her package from UPS for more than a week; her grandmother was sending her
a
b
c
several jars of homemade jam and some of her famous chocolate chip cookies. No error.
d
e
72. I get along fairly good with my younger sister Jennifer, but when we had to share the same room, we fought
a
b
c
d
on an hourly basis the majority of the time. No error.
e
73. Mrs. Hammerhill was an amazing piano teacher; she was the only person which taught her students how
a
b
c
to play with their heart and soul, instead of by memorizing notes and finger positions. No error.
d
e
74. One of my favorite books of all time being Replay, about a man who gets the chance to live his life over and
a
b
over again, each time remembering his former lives and choosing a different path to follow. No error.
c
d
e
75. Reading through the local daily newspaper, it always features the current news, regular comic strips, classified
a
b
ads, movie listings, and, of course, current sports scores. No error.
c
d
e
76. The physicians particularly enjoyed the afternoon workshop offered by the retired doctor who has been to
a
b
c
India during a serious outbreak of smallpox. No error.
d
e
77. The hours went by so slow while she sat in the dentists chair that she could hardly believe it was still
a
b
c
daylight when she finally got back out to her car in the parking lot. No error.
d
e
78. The post office, public libraries, and schools were all closed for the holiday, however, the bank was still
a
b
c
open, much to my relief. No error.
d
e
38
79. The teenager repeatedly stated how pleased he was that the temporary argument between we and them had
a
b
c
been settled so quickly and easily. No error.
d
e
80. My mother is preparing for the big family party by ordering the flowers, putting up the decorations,
a
b
cooking the food, and to bake enough cookies to send a dozen home with each person. No error.
c
d
e
81. The historic old house was due to be torn down that weekend; I was adamant that we could stop it from
a
b
c
happening if we just gathered enough people to protest the destruction of a piece of local history. No error.
d
e
82. Neither of the shampoo commercials were remotely interesting to me, so I was more grateful than ever for
a
b
c
the mute button on my television remote. No error.
d
e
83. Had she only done like I had told her, what should have been a tight, logical, and smooth debate against the
a
b
c
rival high school team would not have turned into such a devastating and monumental loss for our team.
d
No error.
e
84. The telephone rang repeated, and within less than an hour, the answering machine was completely full of
a
b
messages from people who were concerned about me. No error.
c d
e
85. Considering how exhausted she was, I think that my grandmother should not have attempted to clean the
a
b
c
house as thorough as she did. No error.
d
e
86. To teach a class well, you need to know the material thoroughly, pay close attention to the students, show a
a
b
c
sincere interest in the topic, and be willing to go back over the more complicated details. No error.
d
e
39
87. In the latest murder mystery by my all-time favorite author, he made sure to include an evil villain, some
a
b
c
confusing clues, a bumbling detective, and a twist-filled ending. No error.
d
e
88. While a persons health may be affected by a number of factors, it is illogical for one to think that daily
a
b
nutrition, exercise, stress, and sleep will not gradually over some time make a significant difference.
c
d
No error.
e
89. While the number of coffee shops opening in cities like Portland and Seattle keep expanding, business
a
b
owners continue to invest in this highly competitive market. No error.
c
d
e
90. Despite continued warning labels and aggressive advertising campaigns on radio and television, there is
a
b
still an astonishing number of young adults who are smoking cigarettes on a daily basis. No error.
c
d
e
91. High above the Pacific Ocean rises the brilliantly painted clouds reflecting the suns very last remnants of
a
b
c
d
light. No error.
e
92. Poor writing, along with inadequate research skills and out-of-date information, are among the main
a
b
c
reasons a term paper will get a failing grade in this class. No error.
d
e
93. Several witnesses seen the defendant running away from the scene of the crime, according to court records
a
b
c
of their testimony. No error.
d
e
94. According to the daily newspaper and television headlines, there is a multitude of reasons that gasoline
a
b
c
prices continue to climb with every passing week. No error.
d
e
40
95. The imminent professor was delighted to see that the college auditorium was completely filled with
a
b
c
students eager to hear his lecture on the recent controversy over stem cell research. No error.
d
e
96. Once my sister Katherine knew I was ready, she thrown the ball at me so I could practice catching it with
a
b
c
the brand-new baseball mitt I had gotten for my birthday. No error.
d
e
97. Often mistaken for termites, carpenter ants have longer bodies and shorter wings than termites, and while
a
b
c
termite antennae are straight, the antennae of the carpenter variety is bent or elbowed. No error.
d
e
98. The classified ad in todays newspaper suggested that only persons with a Volkswagen bus built between
a
b
c
1960 and 1970 attend the repair workshop. No error.
d
e
99. Him and the other guys on the high school track team went to the coachs house after the meet for a
a
b
c
victory celebration complete with unlimited amounts of pizza and soda. No error.
d
e
100. Surprisingly enough, in the long line in front of the new coffee shop, barely no one had ever heard of the
a
b
c
group that was going to be appearing that afternoon. No error.
d
e
101. As much as I have tried to adopt to living out in the country, I just can not get used to the silence at
a
b
c
night, the roosters crowing in the morning, or the lack of neighbors for miles around me. No error.
d
e
102. Despite the companys focus on cultural diversity, the office manager apparently discriminated to hiring
a
b
c
d
female applicants. No error.
e
41
103. For as long as I have known Tamra, she has been inflicted with severe daily headaches that simply do not
a
b
c
respond to any kind of traditional or alternative medicine. No error.
d
e
104. By the end of the school year, Julia could not believe it when her coach told her that she had swum more
a
b
c
d
than 20 miles just in practice laps. No error.
e
105. Although musicals are apparently no longer popular, but I will continue to watch my old favorites,
a
b
c
d
including The Unsinkable Molly Brown, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and My Fair Lady. No error.
e
106. A number of musical artists produce an average of one album per year, but due to the constant play time
a
b
c
of individual songs on the radio, appeared to release quite a bit more. No error.
d
e
107. You can never truly save enough money because you never know when anything from a horrible
a
b
c
catastrophe to an unbelievable opportunity might knock at your door. No error.
d
e
108. According to recent surveys, families who take the time to regular eat meals together demonstrate closer
a
b
c
relationships, increased levels of communication, and a strong sense of unity. No error.
d
e
109. A veteran carpenter traditionally keeps their various tools in excellent condition by storing them in a
a
b
c
dry, safe place and replacing anything that cannot be easily repaired. No error.
d
e
110. Despite the dire forest fire warnings for the surrounding area, there are still hundreds of stubborn
a
b
homeowners who refuse to take any of the necessary precautions. No error.
c
d
e
42
111. Through the front gates of the Graceland mansion passes thousands of visitors who have come to pay
a
b
c
their respects to Elvis, the King of Rock and Roll. No error.
d
e
112. My favorite clowns are the ones which look like they are going to throw a bucket of water out into the
a
b
audience, but at the last minute, they pour it on their heads and it is actually just torn up pieces of paper.
c
d
No error.
e
113. Half of the students in the class stayed up all night in order to work in the questions that confused them
a
b
c
the most. No error.
d
e
114. Identifying sentence errors, although helpful for preparing for the SAT, can be quite tedious once you have
a
b
c
d
read more than a hundred of them. No error.
e
Answers
1. b. This statement uses a double negative. Both

isnt and hardly are both negatives. The isnt
should be changed to is.
2. b. When two things are compared, an adjective in
the comparative degree is needed. The best
should be better.
3. c. This question contains an error in pronoun
shift. The sentence begins with you but changes
at the end to one. You have to be consistent all
the way through from beginning to end.
4. c. The subject of the sentence is gathering, which
is singular. The verb should also be singular, so
the were should be was.
5. e. There is no error in this example.
6. b. There is an error in diction in this sentence.
An adverb is needed to modify the verb rang.
Unexpected should be unexpectedly.
7. b. This question tests an error in diction. Adverbs

modify active verbs, and it should be well
instead of good to modify the verb to write.
8. d. This sentence contains faulty parallelism.
Coordinating elements in a series should have
parallel grammatical form. Swimming in the
chilly ocean should be swim in the chilly ocean.
9. b. The problem here is the pronoun shift. The
sentence starts in the third person, using one.
To be consistent, the next pronoun used
should be one, not you.
10. b. This sentence demonstrates a problem with
subject-verb agreement. The subject is writers,
which is plural. This requires a plural verb, so
appears should be appear.
11. c. You should not use however as a conjunction
between independent clauses. There should be
either a semicolon or a period.
43
24. d. You need to spot an error in verb tense. If

you look at the other verbs in the sentence
(revealed, asked, responded), they are all in the
past tense. The phrase are quiet should be were
quiet in order to be consistent.
25. e. When you have a fraction in a sentence,
the object of the preposition determines the
number of the verb. In this case, the object is
planet, which is singular, so the verb was
is correct.
26. c. As with fractions, when you use percentages,
the number of the verb is determined by the
object of the preposition. Because class is
singular, the verb needs to be singular, too.
The verb are should be is.
27. c. This is an error with subject-verb agreement.
The subject of the sentence is neither (not
candidates). Because it is singular, the verb
needs to be singular, too. The verb have
should be has.
28. c. This is an error with subject-verb agreement.
Dont be misled by intervening phrases like
as well as his famous poems like The Jabberwocky. The subject is bulk, which is singular,
and the verb should be is, not are.
29. b. When the subject of the sentence (stage) follows
the verb, the verb still takes its number from the
subject. Because stage is singular, the verb needs
to be singular, too. Were should be was.
30. e. There is no error in this question.
31. d. Like the words ending in -body, the ones ending in -one may sound plural, but they are
singular. In this case, the subject is anyone,
and the verb should be is instead of are.
32. b. This sentence uses a double negative. Isnt and
hardly are both negatives. Isnt should be
changed to is.
33. c. This question tests subject-verb agreement.
Compound nouns require a plural verb.
Guarantees should be guarantee.
34. e. There are no errors in this sentence.
12. c. This is an example of a problem with pronoun/

antecedent agreement. The antecedents are
guests and members, which are plural, so the
pronoun should be plural also. His or her
should be their.
13. c. Here is a problem with pronoun reference.
The pronoun they does not refer to any
specific noun or pronoun.
14. a. The subject is neither, which is singular. The
verb needs to be singular, too, so the are
should be is.
15. a. This is a question about faulty comparison. A
comparison of two things uses the comparative degree by adding -er. The word scariest
should be scarier.
16. c. This is a run-on sentence. You cannot join two
independent clauses with a comma. It needs to
be replaced with either a period or semicolon.
18. d. It is incorrect to use a pronoun in the wrong
number. The subject is singular (student), and
the pronoun should also be singular. The
word their should be his or her.
19. d. Here is a problem with faulty parallelism. The
verbs in the sentence all end in -ing (including,
paying, stopping) and to make out does not fit
this pattern. It should be making out.
20. d. You should only use I when it is the subject
pronoun (it is performing some kind of
action). In this case, I is the object of a preposition (between), so you and I should be replaced
with you and me.
21. b. The issue here is pronoun agreement. The
subject is fire department, and it is singular,
so the pronoun needs to be singular, too.
The pronoun they should be it.
22. c. This is a problem with subject-verb agreement. The subject is team, which is singular.
The verb should be singular, too. The verb
were should be was.
44
50. a. This question looks at the comparative degree.

A comparison of two things requires an adjective in the comparative degree. Use better
instead of the best.
51. b. You must spot a mistake in verb tense. Fight is
an irregular verb, so fighted should be changed
to fought.
52. a. Standard usage requires the use of who rather
than which when referring to people (teachers).
53. c. This sentence contains a pronoun shift.
The sentence started out with you and then
shifted to one. One should be replaced by
you for consistency.
54. a. Standard usage requires the use of who rather
than which when referring to people (skaters).
55. b. This is a case of an indefinite pronoun. The
word they does not clearly refer to any noun.
56. c. Here is an idiom error. Standard usage dictates that you use different from rather than
different than.
57. b. This is a case of faulty comparison. The word
other should be included in a comparison of
one thing with a group of which it is a member. The phrase any other should read any
other book.
58. c. This sentence shows a pronoun shift. It
starts out as one and switches to you. To be
consistent, you should be replaced with one.
59. b. The sentence includes an indefinite
pronoun. They does not relate to any
other noun or pronoun.
60. c. You need to identify the verb tense problems.
Because shake is an irregular verb, the past
tense is not formed by adding -ed. Shaked
should be replaced with shook.
61. b. This is a question about comparative degree.
A comparison of two things requires an adjective in the comparative degree. You should use
better instead of the best.
35. d. There is a problem with the pronoun shift in

this sentence. The sentence shifts from using
you to using ones. To be consistent, ones
should be changed to your.
36. d. This is a diction error. An adverb is needed to
modify the verb. Quick should be quickly.
37. c. Here, you need to spot a problem with pronoun reference. The pronoun they does not
refer to any specific noun.
38. d. This is an example of faulty parallelism.
Verbs that are in a series should be in parallel
form (cutting, sweeping), so pick up should be
picking up.
39. a. This statement contains a diction error.
Adverbs modify active verbs. You need to
use well instead of good to modify to mow.
40. c. The phrase my sister and I is the object of the
preposition between. Use the objective-case
pronoun me instead.
41. a. Swear is an irregular verb, and the past tense
should be swore, not sweared.
42. b. This sentence contains a double negative. The
word no should be any.
43. b. This is a question about subject-verb agreement. Attitude is singular, and the verb needs
to be singular, too. The verb were should be
replaced with was.
44. a. This is a case of faulty comparison. The word
longest should be longer.
46. c. The subject diversity and excitement is plural,
but the verb (defines) is singular. It should be
replaced with define.
47. c. A possessive pronoun is needed before a
gerund. Him should be replaced with his.
48. b. The noun people is singular, and the verb needs
to be singular, too. In this case, you need to
change does to do.
49. d. This question deals with pronoun reference.
The pronoun it does not refer to any specific
noun or pronoun.
45
63. b. This sentence contains a double negative. Both

isnt and hardly are negative. Change isnt to is
to repair the problem.
64. b. The sentence begins with he and then switches
to I. To fix the pronoun shift, I should be
replaced with he.
65. e. There are no errors in this question.
66. b. The sentence begins with a dependent clause,
so it must be followed by an independent
clause. Taking out the word but will repair
the problem and make it correct.
67. d. This question has a problem with
pronoun/antecedent agreement. The
pronoun their is plural; the antecedent is
disc jockey, which is singular. Instead, use
the pronoun his or her.
68. c. This sentence has a problem with verb tense.
The sentence is cast in the present tense, so
placed should be places.
69. c. Because eat is an irregular verb, the past
tense does not get an -ed. The word ate
should be changed to eaten, because of the
helping verb (has).
70. d. In this sentence, the pronoun shifts. The sentence
begins with writers and correctly uses the pronoun
their, but then switches to the pronoun one. One
often gets should be replaced with they often get.
72. a. An adverb is needed to modify get. Use well
(an adverb) instead of good (an adjective).
73. b. Use which for things and who for people.
74. a. This is a sentence fragment; it lacks a main
verb. The -ing form of to be (being) cannot
be used as the main verb; use is instead.
75. a. This is an example of a dangling participle.
This sentence, as written, indicates that the
newspaper (it) was reading: The subject of the
main clause of a sentence is assumed to be the
subject of the phrase attached to the main
clause. It is not logical for the newspaper to
read through the local daily newspaper. The
76. c.
77. a.
78. b.
79. c.
80. c.
81. e.
82. a.
83. a.
84. a.
85. d.
86. e.
87. e.
88. c.
89. b.
46
phrase reading through the local daily newspaper

lacks the correct noun or pronoun to modify.
This sentence has a problem with verb tense.
The past perfect tense is used to refer to action
completed prior to a specific time in the past.
You should replace has been with had been.
An adverb is needed to modify the verb went.
Slow should be replaced with slowly.
Do not use however as a conjunction between
independent clauses. Use a semicolon or a
period instead.
This example has a problem with the
pronoun case. The object of the preposition
between should be in the objective case. Use
us instead of we.
You need to identify the faulty parallelism.
Coordinate items in a series should be in
the same grammatical form, so to bake
should be baking.
There are no errors in this example.
Here is a problem with subject-verb agreement. Neither is singular, so were should be
was for consistency.
This is a tricky diction error. Like is a preposition and should not be used in place of a conjunction. Replace like with as.
The word repeated modifies rang, so it needs
to be in adverb form. It should be replaced
with repeatedly.
An adverb is needed to modify the verb clean,
so thorough should be replaced with thoroughly.
There are no errors in this sentence.
There are no errors in this sentence.
Here is an example of wordiness. The
phrase over some time is identical in meaning
to gradually, so you can eliminate it to avoid
redundancy.
In this sentence, it may seem like the subject is
shops, but it is actually number, which is a singular noun. The verb keep needs to be singular, too, so it should be changed to keeps.
99. a. The compound subject in this sentence is

him and the guys on high school track team.
The pronoun him is in the object form of
the pronoun in the third-person singular; it
is wrong because the pronoun is the subject.
Him should be replaced with he.
100. b. To correct the double negative, replace barely
no one with barely anyone or hardly anyone.
101. a. This is an example of incorrect word choice.
The word adopt means to make something
ones own. In this sentence, the correct word
should be adapt, which means to change
something or make it suitable for a specific
use or purpose.
102. d. This is a case of using the wrong preposition.
Standard usage dictates using discriminated
against, not discriminated to.
103. b. You need to identify the incorrect word
choice. The word inflicted means to impose
punishment or suffering on someone. The
correct word to use is afflicted, which means
the causing of pain, suffering, or annoyance
on someone.
105. c. This is an example of a dependent clause
being followed by another dependent clause,
which is not grammatically correct. To repair
the sentence, remove but.
106. d. This has an error in verb tense. The sentence
starts out in the present tense (produce) but
then changes to the past tense (appeared). To
repair the error, change appeared to appear.
108. b. The word regular is modifying the verb eat,
so it needs to be in adverb form. Change
regular to regularly.
109. b. You need to identify an error in pronoun
agreement. The subject is carpenter, which is
singular. The possessive pronoun should be
his or her, not the plural their.
90. b. This is an example of subject-verb agreement

when the subject follows the verb. The subject
in this sentence is adults, which is plural. The
verb is should be replaced with are, so that it is
plural, too.
91. a. Although it may seem like the subject is Pacific
Ocean, the subject is actually clouds, which is
plural. The verb rises needs to be plural, too,
so it should be changed to rise.
92. c. The subject of this sentence is poor writing.
The verb are should be singular to match the
subject, so change are to is.
93. a. Here, you can identify confusion between the
simple past and the past participle. Seen should
only be used with a helping verb. The word
should be replaced with saw, which is the
simple past tense of the verb.
94. b. The subject here is reasons, which is plural.
The verb should be are, not is.
95. a. This is a simple case of the wrong word
choice. Imminent means something that is
likely to happen soon. The correct word for
this sentence is eminent, which means outstanding or prominent.
96. b. This sentence confuses the simple past and
the past participle. Thrown should only be used
with a helping verb. It should be replaced with
threw, which is the simple past tense of the verb.
97. d. The subject of the verb is is antennae, a plural
noun. Thus, the verb must be the plural are.
The prepositional phrase of the carpenter
variety may mislead you to believe that
variety is the subject, but subjects are never
in a prepositional phrase.
98. c. Here is a problem with number agreement.
Nouns in a sentence must have logical
number relationships. The noun here is
persons, which is plural. However, the
second noun is bus. It should also be
plural. The underlined phrase should
read with Volkswagen buses.
47
113. b. This sentence contains an incorrect preposition. According to standard usage, the term
work in should be work out or figure out.
111. a. The subject in this sentence is thousands of

visitors, which is plural, not mansion. The verb
has to be plural, so passes should be pass.
112. b. Clowns are people, not things. Use who
instead of which.
48
C H A P T E R
Improving
Sentences
Questions
The following are examples of the different improving sentences questions you may be tested on in the SAT. There are 161 questions here
to practice, so by the time you get to the last one, you will be well
prepared to tackle this section of the SAT!
49
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IMPROVING SENTENCES
51. a
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51
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IMPROVING SENTENCES QUESTIONS
Questions
4. Raymonds new vacuum worked beautifully on

the interior of his new car, he still was not able to
get the pine needles from last years Christmas
tree out of the side pockets.
a. Raymonds new vacuum worked beautifully
b. Because Raymonds new vacuum
worked beautifully
c. Although Raymonds new vacuum
worked beautifully
d. Raymonds new vacuum worked beautifully,
e. Whenever Raymonds new vacuum
worked beautifully
1. Although meteorologists continue to get more

and more advanced technology and equipment,
their weather forecasts wrong about 50% of
the time.
a. their weather forecasts wrong
b. their weather forecasts which is wrong
c. their weather forecasts are wrong
d. is their weather forecasts wrong
e. their weather forecasts that is wrong
5. After watching television for more than seven

hours straight, the couch no longer felt very
comfortable to the young boys.
a. After watching television for more than seven
hours straight, the couch no longer felt very
comfortable to the young boys.
b. After watching television for more than seven
hours straight, the young boys were no longer
very comfortable on the couch.
c. Watching television for more than seven hours
straight, the couch no longer felt very comfortable to the young boys.
d. The young boys were no longer very comfortable on the couch, after they had watched television for more than seven hours straight.
e. For more than seven hours straight the boys
had watched television, the couch no longer
felt very comfortable to them.
2. Some couples have their first child before they

have learned any real parenting skills, while a few
reading books and attending seminars as soon as
they find out they are pregnant.
a. while a few reading books and attending seminars as soon as they find out they are pregnant.
b. while a few, reading books and attending seminars as soon as they find out they are pregnant.
c. but a few reading books and attending seminars as soon as they find out they are pregnant.
d. however, a few reading books and attending
seminars as soon as they find out they
are pregnant.
e. while a few begin reading books and
attending seminars as soon as they find
out they are pregnant.
3. The number of grocery store shoppers that
carry a wallet full of coupons with them is
growing, approximately 50% of those in line
have at least one applicable coupon to apply
to their purchases.
a. is growing, approximately 50%
b. is growing; approximately 50%
c. is growing, although approximately 50%
d. is grown, approximately 50%
e. is to grown, approximately 50%
53
6. To keep her house completely clean, she spends

at least three hours a day dusting the furniture,
vacuuming the floors, and she puts away a minimum of two loads of laundry.
a. she puts away a minimum of two loads
of laundry.
b. next, she puts away a minimum of two loads
of laundry.
c. finally, she putting away a minimum of two
loads of laundry
d. putting away a minimum of two loads of
laundry she does.
e. putting away a minimum of two loads
of laundry.
8. Because the Serenity movie was quite popular in

the movie theaters and on home video, there are
still no plans to bring back the Firefly series,
according to former producer Joss Whedon.
a. Because the Serenity movie was quite popular
in the movie theaters and on home video
b. Although the Serenity movie was quite popular in the movie theaters and on home video
c. Since the Serenity movie was quite popular in
the movie theaters and on home video
d. However, the Serenity movie was quite popular in the movie theaters and on home video
e. For the Serenity movies was quite popular in
the movie theaters and on home video
7. The character of Clark Kent has been around for

decades, because no one has made him quite as
popular as Tom Welling has in Smallville.
a. because no one has made him quite as popular
as Tom Welling has in Smallville.
b. although no one has made him quite as
c. since no one has made him quite as popular as
Tom Welling has in Smallville.
d. for no one has made him quite as popular as
Tom Welling has in Smallville.
e. whenever no one had made him quite as
9. The Parkinsons have decided to cancel their

Saturday afternoon barbeque by the pool while
the weather forecast is calling for massive thunderstorms throughout the entire weekend.
a. while the weather forecast is calling
b. so the weather forecast is calling
c. although the weather forecast is calling
d. however the weather forecast is calling
e. since the weather forecast is calling
10. Situation comedies have been popular with
audiences of all ages for the last several decades,
some of them have become entrenched into our
culture in a number of ways.
a. for the last several decades, some of them have
become entrenched
b. for the last several decades, become entrenching some of them have
c. some of them, for the last several decades,
have become entrenched
d. for the last several decades; some of them have
become entrenched
e. becoming entrenched, for the last several
decades, they have
54
14. Originally designed to help people control

their diabetes, the physician informed the fascinated audience that this medication would also
assist thousands in losing significant amounts
of weight.
a. Originally designed to help people control
their diabetes, the physician informed the fascinated audience that this medication would
also assist thousands in losing significant
amounts of weight.
b. Designed to help people control their diabetes
originally, the physician informed the fascinated audience that it would also assist thousands in losing significant amounts of weight.
c. Originally designed to help people control
their diabetes, this medication would
also assist thousands in losing significant
amounts of weight, the physician told the
fascinated audience.
d. The physician told the fascinated audience
that although originally designed to help
people control their diabetes, significant
amounts of weight could be lost as well with
this medication.
e. Losing significant amounts of weight could be
done with the medication originally designed
to help people control their diabetes, said the
physician to his fascinated audience.
11. In the United States, a growing number of families that do not have much spare time on their
hands and end up in the drive-through lines at
convenient fast-food restaurants.
a. and end up in the drive-through lines
b. so end up in the drive-through lines
c. end up in the drive-through lines
d. ends up in the drive-through lines
e. ending up in the drive-through lines
12. Countless music groups and individual singers
have recorded a version of Unchained Melody,
no one can perform it better than the original
Righteous Brothers though.
a. no one can perform it better than the original
Righteous Brothers though
b. since no one can perform it better than the
original Righteous Brothers though
c. in performing, no one can do it better than
the original Righteous Brothers
d. The Righteous Brothers perform it better
because they are the original
e. but no one can perform it better than the
original Righteous Brothers
13. Whenever the telephone rings, everyone in the
house knows that it is going to be for Nicole
since she has a social life that is busy enough for
at least three people.
a. Whenever the telephone rings,
b. The telephone, whenever it rings,
c. Ringing, whenever the telephone does
d. Because the telephone rings,
e. The telephone rings
15. While numerous horror novels try to persuade

readers that psychopaths are hiding around every
corner, other authors much more optimistic.
a. other authors much more optimistic.
b. other authors are much more optimistic.
c. other authors is much more optimistic.
d. other authors which are much more optimistic.
e. other authors although much more optimistic.
55
18. The high wind warning had been issued in the

evening; people were already tying down their
possessions and preparing for the worst.
a. had been issued in the evening; people were
already tying down
b. had been issued in the evening, people were
already tying down
c. had been issued in the evening, since people
were already tying down
d. had been issued in the evening; already
tying down
e. had been issued in the evening for people were
already tying down
16. Television detectives miraculously have the

ability to solve the most complicated crimes in
less than an hour, few can do it with as much
style and obsessiveness as the main character
on Monk.
a. an hour, few can do it
b. an hour since few can do it
c. an hour, for few can do it
d. an hour; few can do it
e. an hour, while few can do it
17. The curious student asked the museum curator
endless questions from the local high school
history class.
a. The curious student asked the museum curator endless questions from the local high
school history class.
b. From the local high school history class, the
museum curator was asked endless questions
by the curious student.
c. The curious student from the local high
school history class asked the museum curator
endless questions.
d. Endless questions were asked by the curious
student from the local high school to the
museum curator.
e. The museum curator asked the curious student
from the local high school endless questions.
19. After watching Jaws for the fifth time, the ocean
looked incredibly menacing to tourists Kathleen
and Kevin.
a. After watching Jaws for the fifth time, the
ocean looked incredibly menacing to Kathleen
and Kevin.
b. After watching Jaws for the fifth time,
incredibly menacing the ocean looked to
tourists Kathleen and Kevin.
c. Tourists Kathleen and Kevin, after watching
Jaws for the fifth time, thought the ocean
looked incredibly menacing.
d. The ocean looked incredibly menacing to
tourists Kathleen and Kevin who had just
watched Jaws for the fifth time.
e. After watching Jaws for the fifth time, tourists
Kathleen and Kevin thought that the ocean
looked incredibly menacing.
56
23. The body has a natural sleep cycle it ranges

from six to ten hours a night depending on
the individual.
a. sleep cycles it ranges
b. sleep cycles, it ranges
c. sleep cycles; it ranges
d. sleep cycles since it ranges
e. sleep cycles when it ranges
20. Putting up the Venetian blinds was far more

complicated than I had anticipated; it seemed
like a difficult puzzle with more than a few
pieces missing.
a. I had anticipated; it seemed like a
difficult puzzle
b. I had anticipated, it seemed like a
difficult puzzle
c. I had anticipated it seemed like a
difficult puzzle
d. I had anticipated since it seemed like a
difficult puzzle
e. I had anticipated so it seemed like a
difficult puzzle
24. The American people adore high-tech little gadgets, they buy them as fast as they are produced.
a. gadgets, they buy
b. gadgets; they buy
c. gadgets so they buy
d. gadgets, they bought
e. gadgets; buying them
21. The witness told his lawyer that he couldnt hardly

remember a time that he had felt safe both in his
home and at work.
a. that he couldnt hardly remember a time
b. when he could not remember a time
c. that a time could hardly be remembered when
d. that he could hardly remember a time
e. he couldnt hardly remember a time
25. The fire was burning brightly; which lit up the

night with a fierce orange glow.
a. burning brightly; which lit up
b. burning brightly and which lit up
c. burning brightly, because this lit up
d. burning brightly which lit up
e. burning brightly, which lit up
22. During the party, the dancers that came out like
brightly colored flowers.
a. dancers that came out
b. dancers coming
c. dancers, which are coming
d. dancers came
e. dancers, which came
26. Renovating a house takes a lot of money, skill

and time; depending on its original condition,
what year it was built, and what your goals are.
a. time; depending
b. time, depending
c. time depending
d. time; thus depending
e. time, it depends
57
31. Having thrown her backpack on her bed, Heather

felt deeply disappointed about losing the contest.
a. Having thrown her backpack on her bed,
Heather felt deeply disappointed about losing
the contest.
b. Having felt deeply disappointed about losing
the contest, Heather threw her backpack on
her bed.
c. Throwing her backpack on the bed, deeply
disappointed about losing the contest
Heather was.
d. Heather lost the contest and threw her backpack on her bed, feeling deeply disappointed.
e. Deeply disappointed about losing the contest,
Heather threw her backpack on her bed.
27. Tom Cruise is one of the countrys most

recognized actors, he is known for his actionadventure movies, his appearances on talk
shows, and his much-publicized romances.
a. actors, he is known
b. actors since known
c. actors; he is known
d. actors in that he is known
e. actors most known
28. The birthday cake was already done and the
party was not due to start for another hour.
a. and the party was not due to start for
another hour.
b. since the party was not due to start for
another hour.
c. although the party was not due to start for
another hour.
d. so the party was not due to start for
another hour.
e. the party was not due to start for another hour.
32. The messenger on the blue 21-speed bicycle

with the shiny green pants is on his way to
deliver the contract.
a. The messenger on the blue 21-speed bicycle
with the shiny green pants is on his way to
b. The messenger on his way to deliver the contact is on the blue 21-speed bicycle with the
shiny green pants.
c. The messenger wearing the shiny green pants
and riding the blue 21-speed bicycle is on his
way to deliver the contract.
d. On his way to deliver the contract, the messenger with the shiny green pants and blue 21speed bicycle is.
e. With the shiny green pants, the messenger on
the blue 21-speed bicycle is on his way to
29. When purchasing a car, wise consumers keep in

mind how much it costs, what gas mileage it gets,
and its safety.
a. its safety.
b. if it is safe.
c. the safety of it.
d. the ability of it to be safe.
e. how safe it is.
30. Coping with the cold and enough food made
being lost in the forest during the winter even
more difficult than she had ever imagined.
a. and enough food
b. and finding enough food
c. and found enough food
d. and just enough food
e. and find enough food
33. Heading to the concert, the icy roads made the

streets dangerous and slick.
a. Heading to the concert
b. While heading to the concert
c. To head to the concert
d. While we headed to the concert
e. En route to the concert
58
37. The sequel to Rush Hour was funnier and more

exciting than any sequel Ive ever seen.
a. was funnier and more exciting than any sequel
Ive ever seen.
b. was the most funniest and most exciting
sequel Ive ever seen.
c. was both funnier and more exciting than any
other sequel Ive ever seen.
d. was funnier and most exciting than any movie
e. was funnier and more exciting than any other
34. I had been taking acting lessons for almost a

year before the cast director asks me to join
the community playhouse.
a. cast director asks me to join
b. cast director being asked to join
c. cast director asked me to join
d. cast director had asked me to join
e. cast director asking me to join
35. Anyone who joins the community choir, regardless of how much vocal experience you have had,
should plan to attend the orientation meeting on
Monday night.
a. regardless of how much vocal experience you
have had,
b. irregardless of your personal vocal experience,
c. regardless of how much vocal experience they
have had,
d. irregardless of their vocal experience,
e. regardless of vocal experience,
38. If you want to see a motorcycle battle like no

other, you should watch Mission Impossible 2.
a. like no other, you should watch
b. like no other; you should watch
c. like no other you should watch
d. like no other, you are watching
e. like no other; so if you watch
36. Some teachers think that the option of homeschooling and other educational alternatives
have created problems within the public
school systems.
a. of homeschooling and other educational
alternatives have created problems within
the public school systems.
b. of homeschooling and other educational
alternatives has created problems within
c. of homeschooling and other educational
alternatives is created problems within the
public school systems.
d. of homeschooling and other educational
alternatives creating problems within the
public school systems.
e. of homeschooling and other educational
alternatives has creating problems within
39. Because he was given a local anesthetic, Josh was

conscience throughout the operation.
a. Josh was conscience throughout the operation.
b. Josh had a conscience during the operation.
c. the operation was completed with Josh
conscienceness.
d. the operation was done while Josh held
conscienceness.
e. Josh remained conscious throughout the
operation.
40. Everybody that wants to volunteer to help at the
bake sale should put his or her name on the list
on the bulletin board.
a. Everybody that wants to volunteer
b. Everybody who wants to volunteer
c. Everybody which wants to volunteer
d. Everybody wants to volunteer
e. Everybody wanting to volunteer
59
44. Ballroom dancing has made a huge comeback

with the younger generations, but it is still not as
popular as it was during the 1940s and 1950s.
a. with the younger generations, but it is still not
as popular
b. with the younger generations; but it is still not
as popular
c. with the younger generations and it is still not
as popular
d. with the younger generations since it is still
not as popular
e. with the younger generations because it is still
not as popular
41. Both of my grandparents who live in Florida are

flying into OHare airport this afternoon; they
are coming to visit us over the holidays.
a. Both of my grandparents who live in Florida
b. My grandparents in Florida
c. My grandparents, both who live in Florida,
d. My two grandparents, who lives in Florida,
e. Both of my grandparents, living in Florida
42. No matter how many times their parents
asked them, the twins said they didnt do
nothing wrong.
a. the twins said they didnt do nothing wrong
b. the twins were saying they didnt do nothing
wrong
c. the twins said they were not doing nothing
wrong
d. the twins they did something wrong
e. the twins said they did not do anything wrong
45. They decided to go to the basketball game after

all, although one should make plans for something like that long beforehand.
a. although one should make plans
b. because one should make plans
c. although they should have made plans
d. so they should have made plans
e. when they decided to make plans
43. The firemen responded immediately to the

blaring alarm, they had jumped into their
suits and piled onto the fire truck in a matter
of mere seconds.
a. blaring alarm, they had jumped
b. blaring alarm they had jumped
c. blaring alarm; they were jumping
d. blaring alarm; they had jumped
e. blaring alarm because they had jumped
46. Jasmine wanted to attend the opening night of

the new Broadway play, but she decides to go to
the cocktail party instead.
a. new Broadway play, but she decides to go
b. new Broadway play; but she decides to go
c. new Broadway play, but she decided to go
d. new Broadway play but she decides to go
e. new Broadway play but she is deciding to go
60
47. Everyone who attended the fascinating lecture by

the professor knew that their history grade would
improve just from listening to what he had to say.
a. knew that their history grade
b. knew that his or her history grade
c. knew that ones history grade
d. knew that my history grade
e. knew that our history grade
50. After the game was over, the baseball coach

handed out awards of one kind or another to
each one of the players.
a. After the game was over,
b. Although the game was over,
c. Yet the game was over,
d. Furthermore the game was over,
e. But the game was over,
48. After Louise finished baking ten dozen cookies

for her daughters second-grade class, a trip to
the store was made to get plastic bags to hold
the treats.
a. a trip to the store was made
b. a trip was made to the store
c. a trip to the store was made by her
d. she to the store made a trip
e. she made a trip to the store
51. If one has such a terrible headache, you can

go and see my chiropractor and see if he can
help you!
a. If one has such a terrible headache
b. If you has such a terrible headache
c. If one had such a terrible headache
d. If you have such a terrible headache
e. If one was having a terrible headache
52. The third-grade class went to visit the community retirement center on Valentines Day, and
everyone there wanted to know where we went
to school.
a. The third-grade class went to visit
b. That third-grade class went to visit
c. Our third-grade class went to visit
d. Her third-grade class went to visit
e. Their third-grade class went to visit
49. In the 1950s, families that were lucky enough to

have a TV had three or four channels to choose
from, although todays families may have three
or four TVs and hundreds of channel choices.
a. although todays families may have three or
four TVs and hundreds of channel choices.
b. while todays families may have three or four
TVs and hundreds of channel choices.
c. however, today, there are families with three
or four TVs and over a hundred channels that
they can choose from.
d. families today may have three or four TVs and
hundreds of channels on them.
e. although for todays families, there may be
three or four TVs and hundreds of
channel choices.
61
55. Never clearly captured on a photograph or film

of any kind, the group of experts met at the
annual conference to discuss if Sasquatch was
actually reality or just a delusion.
a. Never clearly captured on a photograph or
film of any kind, the group of experts met at
the annual conference to discuss if Sasquatch
was actually reality or just a delusion.
b. At the annual conference, the group of experts
met to discuss if Sasquatch was actually reality
or just a delusion with ever being clearly captured on a photograph or film of any kind.
c. Whether or not Sasquatch was actually reality
of just a delusion, experts met at the annual
conference to discuss because he had never
been clearly captured on a photograph or film
of any kind.
d. The group of experts met at the annual conference to discuss if Sasquatch was actually
reality or just a delusion since his image had
never been clearly captured on a photograph
or film of any kind.
e. Whether actually reality or just a delusion,
the experts met at the annual conference to
discuss Sasquatch since he had never been
clearly captured on a photograph or film of
any kind.
53. Allen was shocked to find the money he had been

missing looking through multiple loads of his
dirty laundry.
a. Allen was shocked to find the money he had
been missing looking through multiple loads
of his dirty laundry.
b. Shocked, Allen found the money he had been
missing looking through multiple loads of his
dirty laundry.
c. Looking through multiple loads of dirty laundry, the money Allen had been missing
shocked him.
d. Looking through multiple loads of dirty laundry, Allen was shocked to find the money he
had been missing.
e. Allen, looking through multiple loads of his
dirty laundry, was shocked to find the money
he had been missing.
54. In order to find their way through the darkness,
bats must use a system of sound waves called
echolocation; they send out a cry that bounces
back off surfaces where there are objects in front
of them.
a. where there are objects in front of them.
b. indicating where there are objects in front
of them.
c. which are objects that might be in front
of them.
d. objects are there in front.
e. that are in front of them.
62
56. The cabin was located several blocks from the

oceanfront, yet we could still hear the surf as we
went to bed each night.
a. yet we could still hear the surf as we went to
bed each night.
b. we could still hear the surf as we went to bed
each night.
c. yet we could still hear the surf as they went to
bed each night.
d. but you could still hear the surf as they went
to bed each night.
e. yet we could still hear it as we went to bed
each night.
59. Although she had handed out more than 100

petitions, Corrine still did not have enough
signatures to stop the department store from
building in her city.
a. Although she had handed out more than
100 petitions,
b. Because she had handed out more than
100 petitions,
c. Since she had handed out more than
100 hundred petitions,
d. Whenever she had handed out more than
100 petitions,
e. She had handed out more than 100 petitions,
57. The brand-new computer system at Maryanns

house is both more powerful and much faster
than Joshuas house.
a. more powerful and much faster than Joshuas
house.
b. more powerful and much faster than Joshua.
c. more powerful and much faster than Joshuas.
d. more powerful and much faster than the computer at Joshuas house.
e. more powerful and much faster than the one
found in Joshuas house.
60. Despite her best efforts, the gourmet meal did

not turn out near as glamorous and delicious
as Samantha had initially planned.
a. the gourmet meal did not turn out near as
glamorous and delicious
b. the gourmet meal did not turn out near as
glamorously and deliciously
c. the gourmet meal did not turn out nearly as
glamorously and deliciously
d. the gourmet meal did not turn out nearly as
glamorous and delicious
e. the gourmet meal did not, nearly as glamorous and delicious, turn out
58. After a relaxing soothing massage, I wanted

nothing more than to go home and sleep for the
rest of the afternoon.
a. After a relaxing soothing massage
b. After a relaxing, soothing massage
c. After a relaxing but soothing massage
d. After a relaxing, although soothing massage
e. After a relaxing, however, soothing massage
63
63. The Oregon coast offers tourists everything

from soaring seagulls, roaring waves, towering
mountains, and ocean water that is freezing.
a. and ocean water that is freezing.
b. and freezing ocean water.
c. and water from the ocean that is freezing.
d. plus ocean water freezing.
e. and water that is freezing in the ocean.
61. Every few years, vampires seem to come back

into fashion, books, movies, and television shows
cast the bloodsucker as the romantic hero almost
every single time.
a. into fashion, books, movies, and
television shows
b. into fashion, books movies, and
television shows
c. into fashion; books; movies, and
television shows
d. into fashion, yet books, movies, and
television shows
e. into fashion; books, movies, and
television shows
64. Although television shows like Friends, Seinfeld,

Everybody Loves Raymond, and Frasier are no
longer being produced, yet people can still
watch multiple episodes a day, thanks to cable
television and reruns.
a. yet people still can watch multiple episodes a
day, thanks to cable television and reruns.
b. although people can still watch multiple
episodes a day, thanks to cable television
and reruns.
c. yet people can still watch multiple episodes a
day; thanks to cable television and reruns.
d. people can still watch multiple episodes a day,
thanks to cable television and reruns.
e. for people can still watch multiple episodes a
day, thanks to cable television and reruns.
62. Although Antonio Banderas is primarily known

as an actor, his ability to sing, as seen in the wellknown musical Evita.
a. Although Antonio Banderas is primarily
known as an actor, his ability to sing, as he
demonstrated in the well-known musical Evita.
b. Although Antonio Banderas is primarily
known as an actor, as he demonstrated in the
well-known musical Evita, his ability to sing.
c. Although Antonio Banderas is primarily
known as an actor, he is also recognized for
his ability sing, as he demonstrated in the
well-known musical, Evita.
d. Although Antonio Banderas is primarily
known as an actor, he also an ability to
sing, as he demonstrated in the well-known
musical Evita.
e. Although Antonio Banderas is primarily
known as an actor, his ability to sing, as
seen in the well-known musical Evita, is
also known.
65. Although there are millions of people who avidly

watch the Super Bowl each year, there are also
millions who just as passionately run in the opposite direction and watch something else entirely.
a. Although there are millions of people who
avidly watch the Super Bowl each year,
b. Because there are millions of people who
c. That there are also millions of people who
d. Avidly watching the Super Bowl each year,
there are millions of people,
e. There are millions of people who avidly watch
the Super Bowl each year,
64
69. To play the guitar good, you have to develop

calluses on your fingertips, cut your nails short,
learn to read music, and understand how to
clearly produce multiple chords.
a. To play the guitar good,
b. To play the guitar goodly,
c. To have played the guitar good,
d. To play the guitar well,
e. To playing the guitar well,
66. Since entire seasons of television shows are now

being released on DVD, so people can enjoy their
favorite shows or discover new ones completely
free of commercial interruptions.
a. Since entire seasons of television shows are
now being released on DVD,
b. Although entire seasons of television shows
are now being released on DVD,
c. Entire seasons of television shows, since are
d. Because entire seasons of television shows are
e. Entire seasons of television shows are now
being released on DVD,
70. Lionel wrote a science-fiction story where the

aliens, who came from a planet no one even knew
existed before, are not hostile or destructive but
benevolent and kind instead.
a. Lionel wrote a science-fiction story where
the aliens
b. Lionel is writing a science-fiction story but
the aliens
c. Lionel wrote a science-fiction story, although
the aliens
d. Lionel is writing a science-fiction story,
the aliens
e. Lionel wrote a science-fiction story in which
the aliens
67. Alternative therapies like massage, acupuncture,

hypnotherapy, and homeopathy are slowly growing in popularity people are constantly looking
for new answers to old problems.
a. growing in popularity people are
constantly looking
b. growing in popularity, people are
constantly looking
c. growing in popularity; people are
constantly looking
d. growing in popularity although people are
constantly looking
e. growing in popularity, people is
constantly looking
71. If you deeply appreciate books with unbelievable

descriptions and amazing metaphors, you definitely have to read anything you possibly can by
science fiction author Ray Bradbury.
a. If you deeply appreciate books
b. If one deeply appreciates books
c. If they deeply appreciate books
d. If we deeply appreciate books
e. If he deeply appreciates books
68. The new hair salon offers a multitude of services

including massages, pedicures, manicures, mud
baths, and you can get your hair cut and
styled, too.
a. you can get your hair cut and styled, too.
b. one can get their hair cut and styled, too.
c. hair cuts and styles, too.
d. your hair cut and styled, too.
e. as well as hair cuts and styles.
65
75. When I read through the list of driving rules and

regulations, it was amazing how many mistakes
you could make without even knowing it.
a. it was amazing how many mistakes you could
make without even knowing it.
b. it was amazing how many mistakes they could
c. it was amazing how many mistakes I could
d. it was amazing how many mistakes one could
e. it was amazing how many mistakes we could
72. Although voice lessons help increase a chance of

being chosen for a part in the community play,
they look at other elements, including appearance, confidence, range and enunciation.
a. they look at other elements
b. the casting committee looks at other elements
c. yet they look at other elements
d. the casting committee looks at other elements
e. yet they are looking at other elements
73. The horrors of war, described in detail in the
classic Red Badge of Courage, are painful and
difficult to read, yet just as true today as they
were hundreds of years ago.
a. yet just as true today as they were hundreds of
years ago.
b. since just as true today as they were hundreds
of years ago.
c. just as true today as they were hundreds of
years ago.
d. because just as true today as they were
hundreds of years ago.
e. for just as true today as they were hundreds of
years ago.
76. The parents looked at their high school graduate

so proud that they almost seemed to glow with
happiness.
a. so proud
b. so very proud
c. so prideful
d. so proudly
e. so much pride
77. To the disappointment of the audience, neither
Hank Azaria nor Tim Curry were going to be in
that nights performance of Spamalot.
a. neither Hank Azaria nor Tim Curry were going
b. neither Hank Azaria nor Tim Curry are going
c. neither Hank Azaria or Tim Curry was going
d. neither Hank Azaria nor Tim Curry go
e. neither Hank Azaria nor Tim Curry was going
74. Allison is definitely the best person to lead our

group, she is confident, intelligent, knowledgeable, and considerate.
a. our group, she is confident
b. our group, because she is confident
c. our group, confident she is
d. our group, although she is confident
e. our group; for she is confident
66
81. Because she was up in her room with her headphones on, Jennifer never even heard the doorbell
ringing downstairs.
a. Because she was up in her room with her
headphones on
b. She was up in her room with her
headphones on
c. Although she was in her room with her
headphones on
d. She was up in her room and her headphones
were on
e. Because her headphones were on up in
her room
78. Considering that he had already eaten three

pieces of pizza, a bag of potato chips, four apples,
and a few pretzels, I think the college student
should not have guzzled the liter of soda as quick
as he did.
a. as quick as he did
b. as very quick as he is doing
c. as extremely quick as he did
d. as quickly as he did
e. as quickly as he is doing
79. If you are more than 15 minutes late to work,
you will get a penalty and one may only have two
of these penalties per month or you will be fired.
a. and one may only have two of these penalties
per month or you will be fired.
b. and one may only have two of these penalties
per month or one will be fired.
c. and you may only have two of these penalties
per month or you will be fired.
d. and you may only have two of these penalties
per month or they will be fired.
e. and you may only have two of these penalties
per month or we will be fired.
82. Held in 1927, President Calvin Coolidge presided

over the ceremony to officially commence the
carving of Mount Rushmore.
a. Held in 1927, President Calvin Coolidge
presided over the ceremony to officially commence the carving of Mount Rushmore.
b. Held in 1927, it was President Calvin Coolidge
who presided over the ceremony to officially
commence the carving of Mount Rushmore.
c. The carving of Mount Rushmore was officially
commenced in 1927, at a cermony that was
presided over by President Calvin Coolidge.
d. President Calvin Coolidge presided over the
1927 ceremony that officially commenced the
carving of Mount Rushmore.
e. The 1927 ceremony, presided over by President Calvin Coolidge, which officially commenced the carving of Mount Rushmore.
80. To the brand-new mother, every baby in the

hospital nursery are beautiful, none so much,
of course, as her very own.
a. every baby in the hospital nursery are beautiful
b. every baby in the hospital nursery is beautiful
c. every baby in the hospital nurseries is beautiful
d. every babies in the hospital nurseries
are beautiful
e. every baby in the hospital nursery must
be beautiful
67
85. Musical artists, such as the Rolling Stones, They

Might Be Giants, and Coldplay, regular tours the
country, and at their concerts, you can buy programs, hats, T-shirts, and CDs.
a. regular tours the country
b. regularly touring the country
c. regular tour the country
d. regularly tour the country
e. regular tours of the country
83. Six cases of canned peaches were taken out of the

grocery store that were dented and way past their
expiration date.
a. Six cases of canned peaches were taken out of
the grocery store that were dented and way
past their expiration date.
b. Six cases of canned peaches way past their
expiration date were taken out of the grocery
store and they were dented.
c. Six cases of canned peaches that were dented
and past their expiration date were taken out
of the grocery store.
d. Dented and past their expiration date, the grocery store took out six cases of canned
peaches.
e. The grocery store took out the peaches that
were dented plus they were way past their
expiration date.
86. The football team ran out onto the field and
got into position; each player knew exactly where
they were supposed to go, thanks to all of those
hours of practice.
a. each player knew exactly where they were supposed to go
b. each player knowing exactly where they were
supposed to go
c. each player knew exactly where he was supposed to go
d. each player knew exactly where one was supposed to go
e. each one of the players knowing exactly where
to go
84. The country fair judges award the first prize

to the cherry pie that has the flakiest crust, the
sweetest cherries, and how it tastes best overall.
a. and how it tastes best overall.
b. and tasting it best overall.
c. how it tastes best overall.
d. and the best overall taste.
e. and its best overall tastiest.
68
90. The metric system, originally adopted in France

after the French Revolution in 1789, has still not
caught up in the United States.
a. has still not caught up in the United States
b. has still not caught at in the United States
c. has still not caught in the United States
d. has still not caught from in the United States
e. has still not caught on in the United States
87. Although a high GPA and solid SAT scores can

enhance your school transcript, they frequently
look beyond the numbers to how you spend your
spare time.
a. they frequently look beyond the numbers
b. college admission reps frequently look beyond
the numbers
c. the people from different colleges frequently
look beyond the numbers
d. they frequent look beyond the numbers
e. looking beyond the numbers college admission reps do
91. Although computers are considered to be

a modern invention, historical records show
that English mathematician Charles Babbage
invented the first official computer in the
1800s; he called it the Analytical Machine.
a. Although computers are considered to be a
modern invention
b. Because computers are considered to be a
modern invention
c. Since computers are considered to be a
modern invention
d. Computers are considered to be a
modern invention
e. Computers, considered to be a
modern invention,
88. The sprinkler out in the middle of the golf course

was malfunctioning; water was coming out, but
the sprinkler itself was not moving a single inch.
a. was malfunctioning; water was coming out
b. was malfunctioning, water was coming out
c. was malfunctioning water was coming out
d. was malfunctioning although water was
coming out
e. was malfunctioning but water was coming out
89. According to the weather report, there are three
thunderstorms in the area and if they connect,
it is going to be an extremely powerful system.
a. there are three thunderstorms in the area and
if they connect,
b. there is three thunderstorms in the area and if
they connect,
c. there are three thunderstorms in the area and
if they connected,
d. there is three thunderstorms in the area and if
they are connecting
e. three thunderstorms are in the area and
theyre connecting
92. Scientists have been working through the clock

trying to figure out if the multiple mysterious
objects hovering around Jupiter are actually
asteroids or comets.
a. Scientists have been working through the clock
b. Scientists have been working under the clock
c. Scientists have been working around the clock
d. Scientists have been working over the clock
e. Scientists have been working the clock
69
96. The zipper was not invented until 1891 by

a man named Whitcomb Judson until then,
people used buttons, hooks, and pins to keep
their clothing together.
a. man named Whitcomb Judson until then,
people used buttons,
b. man named Whitcomb Judson, until then,
c. man named Whitcomb Judson since, until
then, people used buttons,
d. man named Whitcomb Judson; until then,
e. man named Whitcomb Judson, while, until
then, people used buttons,
93. While history cannot prove that Isaac Newton

really had an apple fall on his head, yet he certainly was an influential scientist in exploring
exactly how gravity works.
a. yet he certainly was an influential scientist
b. but he certainly was an influential scientist
c. because he certainly was an influential scientist
d. he certainly was an influential scientist
e. although he certainly was an
influential scientist
94. During the field trip to the Smithsonian Institute,
the museums displays that were like a time travel
machine, allowing us all the chance to glimpse
the past.
a. displays that were like a time travel machine
b. displays were like a time travel machine
c. displaying that were like a time travel machine
d. displays that was like a time travel machine
e. display were like a time travel machine
97. Melanie was visiting her cousins in New Jersey

and there was a mild earthquake in her
California hometown.
a. Melanie was visiting her cousins in New Jersey
and there was a mild earthquake in her California hometown.
b. Melanie was visiting her cousins in New Jersey, but there was a mild earthquake in her
c. While Melanie was visiting her cousins in New
Jersey, there was a mild earthquake in her California hometown.
d. Although Melanie was visiting her cousins in
New Jersey, there was a mild earthquake in her
e. Because Melanie was visiting her cousins in
New Jersey, there was a mild earthquake in her
95. When Katherine went online to get the concert

tickets; she was horrified to find out that the performance had already been completely sold out.
a. When Katherine went online to get the
concert tickets;
b. When Katherine went online to get the
concert tickets
c. Katherine went online to get the concert tickets,
d. Katherine, going online to get the
concert tickets,
e. When Katherine went online to get the
concert tickets,
70
100. Carmen waited as the glittering crown was

placed on her head, having won first place in
the beauty pageant.
a. Carmen waited as the glittering crown was
placed on her head, having won first place
in the beauty pageant.
b. Carmen waited as the glittering crown was
placed on her head, winning first place in
the beauty pageant.
c. Having won first place in the beauty pageant, Carmen waited as the glittering crown
was placed on her head.
d. Carmen waited, having won first place in
the beauty pageant, as the glittering crown
was placed on her head.
e. Having won first places in the beauty
pageant, the glittering crown was placed
on Carmens head.
98. When Howard went to the emergency room

with a potential heart attack, the medical team
looked carefully at his heart rate, his breathing,
what his blood oxygen levels were, and his
overall coherency.
a. the medical team looked carefully at his heart
rate, his breathing, what his blood oxygen
levels were, and his overall coherency.
b. the medical team looked carefully at his heart
rate, breathing, blood oxygen levels, and overall coherency.
c. the medical team looked carefully at his heart
levels were, and how his overall coherency was.
d. the medical team looked carefully at his heart
rate, breathing, blood oxygen levels, and his
overall coherency.
e. the medical team looked carefully at his heart
levels were, as well as his overall coherency.
101. Though you are going to visit New York City,

you simply must stop by the Empire State
Building and see one of the most amazing
viewpoints in the entire city.
a. Though you are going to visit New York City,
b. Unless you are going to visit New York City,
c. Whether you are going to visit New
York City,
d. If you are going to visit New York City,
e. Before you are going to visit New York City,
99. Because she had been absent for the first two
weeks of physics class, Cordelia did far worse
on the midterm exam than she had hoped.
a. Because she had been absent for the first two
weeks of physics class,
b. Although she had been absent for the first two
c. While she had been absent for the first two
d. She had been absent for the first two weeks of
physics class,
e. When she had been absent for the first two
71
104. Sarita, in the Girl Scout cookie booth next to

the bank, selling Thin Mints for the last three
hours.
a. selling Thin Mints for the last three hours.
b. has been selling Thin Mints for the last
three hours.
c. Thin Mints, for the last three hours selling.
d. for the last three hours, selling Thin Mints.
e. have been selling Thin Mints for the last
three hours.
102. Under the kitchen cupboard, there is one

spray bottle of window cleaner and two
brand-new sponges that you can use to clean
the bathroom.
a. is one spray bottle of window cleaner and
two brand-new sponges that
b. a spray bottle of window cleaner and two
brand-new sponges which
c. you will find a spray bottle of window
cleaner and two brand-new sponges that
d. are one spray bottle of window cleaner and
two brand-new sponges who
e. are one spray bottle of window cleaner and
two brand-new sponges that
105. If you want to listen to your music at that volume, you will have to understand that you will
be expected to keep their door closed.
a. you will be expected to keep their
door closed.
b. they will be expected to keep your
door closed.
c. you will be expected to keep your
door closed.
d. you are expecting to keep your door closed.
e. he will be expected to keep your door closed.
103. Some coaches believe that the primary goal

for participation in professional sports has
changed over the years from enjoyment to
financial gain.
a. participation in professional sports has
changed over the years from enjoyment
to financial gain.
b. participation in professional sports have
to financial gain.
c. participating in professional sports has
to financial gain.
d. participate in professional sports has
to financial gain.
e. participation in professional sports have
changing over the years from enjoyment
to financial gain.
106. Both my brothers who live in Acapulco have

jobs in the computer field.
a. Both my brothers who live in Acapulco
b. Both of my two brothers who live
in Acapulco
c. My brothers, both who live in Acapulco,
d. My two brothers in Acapulco
e. My two brothers, living in Acapulco,
72
110. Although Shawn was sure that the letter would

come today, one look at his mothers face and
he knew he hadnt gotten no mail yet.
a. he knew he hadnt gotten no mail yet.
b. he knew he had not gotten no mail yet.
c. he knew he hadnt gotten any mail yet.
d. he knew he hasnt gotten any mail yet.
e. he knew he hadnt got no mail yet.
107. This weeks basketball practice was missed

because we had a dentists appointment that
we had to keep.
a. This weeks basketball practice was missed
b. We missed this weeks basketball practice
c. This weeks basketball practice we missed
d. We missed the basketball practice that was
this week
e. Basketball practice this week was missed
111. The amazing piece of music that Victoria

played during the climax of the entire orchestra concert.
a. The amazing piece of music that Victoria
played during the climax of the entire
orchestra concert.
b. The amazing piece of music Victoria played
during the climax of the entire orchestra
concert.
c. During the climax of the entire orchestra
concert, an amazing piece of music was
played by Victoria.
d. Victoria played an amazing piece of
music during the climax of the entire
orchestra concert.
e. Victoria, during the climax of the entire
orchestra concert, an amazing piece of
music she played.
108. Occasionally, singers like Phil Collins

and Rob Thomas will leave their bands,
go out on their own, and succeed beyond
anyones expectations.
a. leave their bands, go out on their own
b. leave your bands, go out on other own
c. leave his bands, go out on his own
d. leave her bands, go out on her own
e. leave our bands, go out on our own
109. According to the police report, it was abundantly clear to everyone involved that the
priceless diamond had been stoled
sometime during the night.
a. the priceless diamond had been stoled
b. the priceless diamond had been stolen
c. the priceless diamond stolen sometime
during the night.
d. the priceless diamond stealed sometime
during the night.
e. the priceless diamond having been stolen
73
114. The first interspecies transplant is believed to

have been completed in the early 1800s, when
scientists grafted the tail of a rat onto the
comb of a rooster.
a. when scientists grafted the tail of a rat onto
the comb of a rooster.
b. with the grafting of the tail of a rat onto the
comb of a rooster by scientists.
c. when scientists, with the tail of a rat,
grafted it onto the comb of a rooster.
d. scientists had grafted the tail of a rat onto
the comb of a rooster.
e. thus, the tail of a rat had been grafted onto
a roosters comb.
112. Internet search engines are revolutionary in

their capacity to provide a free service to users,
also offering targeted, low-key advertisements
that assist users in their search.
a. also offering targeted, low-key advertisements that assist users in their search.
b. while offering targeted, low-key advertisements that assist users in their search.
c. while, offering advertisements that are
low key and targeted to assist users in
their search.
d. while they offer targeted advertisements
that are low key and assist users to find
what theyre looking for.
e. as well as offering targeted, low-key
advertisements to help users find things.
115. After spending the last four hours in the

kitchen, the gourmet meal was an incredible
triumph for Melanie, even if her mother-inlaw didnt happen to agree.
a. the gourmet meal was an incredible triumph for Melanie,
b. Melanies gourmet meal was an incredible
triumph,
c. an incredible triumph the gourmet meal
was for Melanie,
d. Melanies incredible triumph was the gourmet meal
e. the gourmet meal, an incredible triumph
for Melanie,
113. Some authors write a monumental best-seller

and then never write anything else, Harper
Lee and Margaret Mitchell are two perfect
examples of this.
a. write anything else, Harper Lee and
Margaret Mitchell
b. write anything else Harper Lee and
Margaret Mitchell
c. write anything else because Harper Lee and
Margaret Mitchell
d. write anything else; Harper Lee and
Margaret Mitchell
e. write anything else unless Harper Lee and
Margaret Mitchell
74
119. According to the American Dental Society,

there is many different reasons that some people are more prone to dental cavities than
other people.
a. there is many different reasons
b. there was many different reasons
c. there will be many different reasons
d. there is many differing reasons
e. there are many different reasons
116. Although I had not wanted to attend the concert, I was soon covered in goose bumps as I
listened to the beautiful music soar through
the auditorium.
a. Although I had not wanted to attend
the concert
b. Unless I had not wanted to attend
the concert
c. Because I had not wanted to attend
the concert
d. After I had not wanted to attend the concert
e. If I had not wanted to attend the concert
120. The familys collected photographs, cards, letters, and other memorabilia fills the scrapbook from the very first page to the last one.
a. fills the scrapbook from the very first page
to the last one.
b. filling the scrapbook from the very first
page to the last one.
c. did fills the scrapbook from the very first
d. fill the scrapbook from the very first page to
the last one.
e. full of the scrapbook from the very first
117. In order to receive the contests grand prize,

the winner must follow the rules closely; they
must write an essay between 1,500 and 2,500
words long, and you have to center it on the
most viable solution to the ongoing problem
of world famine.
a. the winner must follow the rules closely;
they must write an essay
b. the winner must follow the rules closely; he
or she must write an essay
c. the winner must follow the rules closely;
you must write an essay
d. the winner must follow the rules closely; I
must write an essay
e. the winner must follow the rules closely; we
must write an essay
121. Wireless technology is changing so fast that

it often seems like whatever product you buy
is already obsolete before one even leaves
the store.
a. already obsolete before one even leaves
the store.
b. already obsolete before one even begins to
leave the store.
c. already obsolete before you even leave
the store.
d. already obsolete before we can even leave
the store.
e. already obsolete before the customer even
leaves the store.
118. The plastic surgeon anticipated my every

question; he answered every single one of
them before I could even put it into words.
a. my every question; he answered
b. my every question he answered
c. my every question, he answered
d. my every question until he answered
e. my every question if he answered
75
125. Few young people today remember when the

singer Prince temporarily decided to change
his name to a symbol, causing late-night talk
show hosts to dub him the artist formally
known as Prince.
a. to dub him the artist formally known
as Prince.
b. dubbing him the artist formerly known
as Prince.
c. to dub him the artist formerly known
as Prince.
d. dubs him the artist formally known
as Prince.
e. dubbed him the artist formerly known
as Prince.
122. To clean out her van before she picked up her

in-laws, Karen picked up all of the fast-food
wrappers, put all the CDs back in their cases,
piled up the miscellaneous library books, and
she is also washing each one of the windows.
a. and she is also washing each one of the
windows.
b. and washed each one of the windows.
c. and washing each one of the windows.
d. she also washed each one of the windows.
e. and washes each one of the windows.
123. The new laptop was faster and more advanced
technologically than any computer I had
ever seen.
a. than any computer I had ever seen.
b. than any other computer I had ever seen.
c. than any other computer I had ever saw.
d. than any computer I has seen.
e. than any other computer ever seen.
126. According to the previews we watched before

the movie started, that huge new blockbuster
with Orlando Bloom will be opening in just a
matter of weeks.
a. According to the previews we watched
before the movie started, that huge new
blockbuster with Orlando Bloom will be
opening in just a matter of weeks.
b. That huge new blockbuster with Orlando
Bloom, in the previews we watched before
the movie started, will be opening in just a
matter of weeks.
c. In just a matter of weeks, that huge new
released, according to the previews which
we watched before the movie started.
d. Opening in just a matter of weeks is that
huge new blockbuster with Orlando Bloom
which was in the previews that we watched
before the movie started in the previews.
e. According to the previews that huge new
opening in just a matter of weeks it said
before the movie started.
124. Although I had been thinking about nothing

else for weeks, I still had not decided whether
to fly back to Indiana or take the train.
a. whether to fly back to Indiana or take
the train.
b. weather to fly back or take the train
to Indiana.
c. weather to fly back to Indiana or take
the train.
d. weather I should fly or take the train back
to Indiana.
e. whether flying back to Indiana to take
the train.
76
130. Although many people know that Meg Ryan

and Tom Hanks starred together in Youve Got
Mail and Sleepless in Seattle, few seem to
remember that they were also together in Joe
versus the Volcano.
a. few seem to remember that they were also
together in Joe versus the Volcano.
b. few are remembering that they were also
c. few remembered that they were also
d. few seem to be remembering that they were
also together in Joe versus the Volcano.
e. few seemingly remember that they were
also together in Joe versus the Volcano.
127. Margaret simply could not believe it when

she was asked to join the city council; she
had been waiting for an opportunity like this
for years.
a. when she was asked to join the city council;
b. when she was asking to join the city council;
c. when she was asked to join the city counsel;
d. when she was asked to join the city consul;
e. when she was being asked to join the
city council;
128. It was so cold in the house that the kids were
shocked to discover that they could see their
own breathe.
a. that they could see their own breathe.
b. they you could see their own breath.
c. that their own breathe they could see.
d. seeing their own breath, they could.
e. that they could see their own breath.
131. Until we get an unbelievably fast and knowledgeable cab driver, we will never be able to
make our plane departure on time.
a. Until we get an unbelievably fast and
knowledgeable cab driver
b. Although we get an unbelievable fast and
c. Since we get an unbelievably fast and
d. When we get an unbelievably fast and
e. Whether we get an unbelievably fast and
129. While the vast majority of accountants

would advise their clients to prepare their
federal income taxes by the end of February,
a sizable portion of people until the very last
possible minute.
a. a sizable portion of people
b. a sizable portion of most people
c. a sizable portion of people wait
d. a sizable portion of people waiting
e. a sizable portion of people waits
77
134. Despite the incredibly inclement weather, my

parents and I drove all the way back from the
coast; we fortunately arrived home safely in
plenty of time for me to get to work.
a. my parents and I drove all the way back
from the coast;
b. my parents and I drived all the way back
from the coast;
c. my parents and I are driving all the way
back from the coast;
d. my parents and I driven all the way back
from the coast;
e. my parents and I have been driven all the
way back from the coast;
132. After shopping at the mall for five hours

nonstop, the plush chair felt amazingly soft
and welcoming to Megans tired legs.
a. After shopping at the mall for five hours
nonstop, the plush chair felt amazingly soft
and welcoming to Megans tired legs.
b. Shopping at the mall for five hours nonstop,
the plush chair felt amazingly soft and
welcoming to Megans tired legs.
c. Megans legs were tired, and after shopping
for five hours nonstop, the plush chair felt
amazingly soft and welcoming to them.
d. The plush chair felt amazingly soft and
welcome to Megans tired legs after she
had been shopping at the mall for five
hours nonstop.
e. After shopping at the mall for five hours
nonstop, Megan thought that the plush
chair felt amazingly soft and welcoming
to her tired legs.
135. Having kicked her door shut, Caroline felt terribly disappointed about not getting a car for
her birthday.
a. Having kicked her door shut, Caroline felt
terribly disappointed about not getting a
car for her birthday.
b. Terribly disappointed about not getting a
car for her birthday, Caroline kicked her
door shut.
c. Kicking her door shut, terribly disappointed about not getting a car for her
birthday was Caroline.
d. Caroline didnt get a car for her birthday,
therefore, she kicked her door shut as she
was terribly disappointed.
e. Not getting a car for her birthday, the
door was kicked shut by a terribly
disappointed Caroline.
133. The Little League baseball team has decided to

postpone their annual car wash because the
rainy season officially comes to an end.
a. because the rainy season officially comes to
an end.
b. before the rainy season officially comes to
an end.
c. until the rainy season officially comes to
an end.
d. although the rainy season officially comes
to an end.
e. whereas the rainy season officially comes to
an end.
78
138. For decades, the mystery has continued to

baffle young people; if Pluto is a dog, what in
the world is Goofy?
a. young people; if Pluto is a dog
b. young people, if Pluto is a dog
c. young people if Pluto is a dog
d. young people and if Pluto is a dog
e. young people because if Pluto is a dog
136. Human beings are taller and stronger than 200

years ago; since 1800, the average adult height
has increased by 18 inches.
a. Human beings are taller and stronger than
200 years ago;
b. Human beings are taller and stronger than
200 years ago,
c. Humans, being taller and stronger than
they were 200 years ago;
d. Human beings are taller and stronger than
they were 200 years ago;
e. Being taller and stronger than 200 years ago,
139. Lydia suddenly realized that the reason her

car was not working was it didnt have no gas
left in it.
a. it didnt have no gas left in it.
b. it did not have no gas left in it.
c. it does not have no gas left in it.
d. it do not have any gas left in it.
e. it didnt have any gas left in it.
137. Martin found that science class was hardest

during the senior year, just like Carson.
a. Martin found that science class was hardest
during the senior year, just like Carson.
b. Like Carson, Martin found that science
class was hardest during the senior year.
c. Martin found that science class was hardest
during the senior year, just like Carson did.
d. Science class was the hardest during the senior year is what Martin and Carson found.
e. Senior year science class was hardest as
found out by both Martin and Carson.
140. The world has seen the rise and demise of

record albums, eight-track tapes, and cassette
tapes, one has to wonder what will follow
compact discs.
a. cassette tapes, one has to wonder
b. cassette tapes one has to wonder
c. cassette tapes, one certainly has to wonder
d. cassette tapes; one has to wonder
e. cassette tapes since one has to wonder
79
143. The vineyards of southern California are at

once breathlessly vibrant, obsessively symmetrical, and the green is profound.
a. and the green is profound.
b. and its green is quite profound.
c. and profoundly green.
d. and it is profoundly green.
e. and so profound green.
141. Driving for the first time, the traffic intimidated the teenager and she worried about
keeping track of the cars behind and in
front of her.
a. Driving for the first time, the traffic intimidated the teenager and she worried about
front of her.
b. Driving for the first time, the teenager was
intimidated by the traffic and worried
about keeping track of the cars behind and
in front of her.
c. Driving for the first time and intimidated
by the traffic, the cars behind and in front
of the teenager worried her.
d. The teenager was intimidated by the traffic
as she was driving for the first time and
front of her worried her.
e. The traffic intimidated the teenager and she
worried about keeping track of the cars
behind and in front of her since she was
driving for the first time.
144. Because you missed the college orientation

meeting, the first week on campus might be
somewhat confusing for you.
a. Because you missed the college
orientation meeting,
b. Although you missed the college
c. Until you missed the college
d. While you missed the college
e. Though you missed the college
145. Because the position did not have all of the
necessary job requirements, so Marcus
politely declined the offer.
a. so Marcus politely declined the offer.
b. but Marcus was politely declining the offer.
c. and this resulted in Marcus politely
declining the offer.
d. Marcus politely declined the offer.
e. and Marcus politely declined the offer.
142. No matter how hard I concentrated on the test

question, the solution to it kept alluding me.
a. the solution to it kept alluding me.
b. alluding me was the solution to it.
c. the solution was keeping allusive.
d. the solution was kept elusive.
e. the solution to it kept eluding me.
80
148. There are many struggling authors in

the world and the fastest way for them to
become millionaires is to have your book
recommended on the Oprah show.
a. the fastest way for them to become millionaires is to have your book recommended
b. the fastest way for them to become millionaires is to have their book recommended
c. the fastest way for you to become a millionaire is to have your book recommended
d. the fastest way for anyone to become a millionaire is to have your book recommended
e. the fastest way for us to become millionaires is to have our book recommended
146. Although Patricia had been raised on a quiet,

little farm far out in the country, she longed
for a time somewhere in the future when her
residence would be situated right in the middle of a loud, bustling, hectic city.
a. right in the middle of a loud, bustling, hectic city.
b. right in the middle of a loud and bustling
and hectic city.
c. right in the middle of a loud bustling hectic
city.
d. right in the middle of a loud, yet bustling
and hectic city.
e. right in the middle of a loud, although
bustling, hectic city.
149. If one is sincerely interested in eventually earning a position in the community orchestra,
then they must practice on a regular basis and
play more with passion than with obligation.
a. then they must practice on a regular basis
b. then he or she must practice on a
regular basis
c. then we must practice on a regular basis
d. then you must practice on regular basis
e. then they must practice on a regularly basis
147. When you do research on the Internet, it is

important that you evaluate each site critically; you need to consider the date of the
information, the reliability of the author,
and the accuracy of the facts.
a. When you do research on the Internet
b. When you did your research on the Internet
c. When you have done your research on
the Internet
d. When you had done your research on
the Internet
e. When you will do your research on
the Internet
81
152. Going to college can lead to some fantastic

careers, young adults who do not pursue
additional education can also find extremely
fulfilling and exciting professions as well.
a. Going to college can lead to some
fantastic careers
b. Although going to college can lead to some
fantastic careers
c. Since going to college can lead to some
fantastic careers
d. If going to college can lead to some
fantastic careers
e. Unless going to college can lead to some
fantastic careers
150. Although some believe that life is guided

primarily by a predetermined destiny, others
completely convinced that each individual
decision changes fate on a daily basis.
a. others completely convinced that each individual decision changes fate on a daily basis.
b. others, completely convinced that each individual decision changes fate, on a daily basis.
c. others are completely convinced that
each individual decision changes fate
on a day basis.
d. others are completely convinced that
each individual decision changes fate
on a daily basis.
e. others are completely convincing that
each individual decisions changes fate
on a daily basis.
153. To Lanas disappointment, the wedding

plans werent getting no easier as her big
day approached.
a. the wedding plans werent getting no easier
b. the wedding plans wasnt getting any easier
c. the wedding plans werent getting any easier
d. the wedding plans isnt getting any easier
e. the wedding plans arent getting no easier
151. The death of Coretta Scott King touched the

hearts of millions her strength and courage
after the death of her husband in 1968 was
inspiring to many.
a. hearts of millions her strength and courage
b. hearts of millions, her strength and courage
c. hearts of millions until her strength and
courage
d. hearts of millions although her strength
and courage
e. hearts of millions; her strength and courage
154. The numereous side effects of chemotherapy

are caused by the fact that the chemicals kill
healthy cells as well as cancerous cells, they are
unable to distinguish between the two.
a. cells, they are unable to distinguish
b. cells because unable to distinguish
c. cells, which are unable to distinguish
d. cells because the chemicals are unable
to distinguish
e. cells, which arent distinguished
82
158. The present was given to the newly married

couple with the big, red satin bow wrapped
around it.
a. The present was given to the newly married
couple with the big, red satin bow wrapped
around it.
b. The present that was given to the newly
married couple with the big, red satin
bow wrapped around it.
c. The present, with the big, red satin bow
wrapped around it, given to the newly
married couple.
d. The present with the big, red bow
wrapped around it was given to
the newly married couple.
e. The newly married couple with the big,
red satin bow wrapped around it was
given the present.
155. This summer will mark the fifth anniversary

of us coming to live on Alberta Street
in Farmington.
a. of us coming to live on Alberta Street
in Farmington.
b. of we arriving on Alberta Street
in Farmington.
c. of we living on Alberta Street in Farmington.
d. of us to come and live on Alberta Street
in Farmington.
e. of our coming to live on Alberta Street
in Farmington.
156. During the fireworks, the colors that filled the
sky like starbursts.
a. the colors that filled the sky
b. the colors filling the sky
c. the colors filled the sky
d. the colors, which filled the sky
e. the colors will fill the sky
159. Bloody Sunday refers to two different historical events: the 1905 massacre of hundreds of
civilians engaged in a peaceful march in St.
Petersburg, Russia, whereas in 1972, in Derry,
Ireland, British soldiers killed 13 peaceful
demonstrators.
a. whereas in 1972, in Derry, Ireland, British
soldiers killed 13 peaceful demonstrators.
b. and the 1972 killing by British soldiers of 13
peaceful demonstrators in Derry, Ireland.
c. but in 1972, there were 13 peaceful
demonstrators killed by British
soldiers in Derry, Ireland.
d. in contrast, the 1972 killing by British
soldiers of 13 peaceful demonstrators
in Derry, Ireland.
e. and in 1972, there was the killing by British
soldiers of 13 people who were demonstrating peacefully in Derry, Ireland.
157. When choosing a sport, young people are

encouraged to thoroughly consider how hard
it is to learn, what kind of skills it takes, what
equipment it requires, and its overall cost.
a. its overall cost.
b. how much it costs overall.
c. if it costs money.
d. the cost of it.
e. the money needed for it.
83
161. After learning the important lessons from

more than 400 writing questions and essay
prompts, you will most likely be ready to take
a break.
a. you will most likely be ready to take a break
b. you will most likely be ready for taking
a break
c. you will most likely be ready to have taken
a break
d. you will most likely be readier to take
a break
e. you will most likely be readiest to take
a break
160. Although most of us would prefer to spend

spring break in Disneyland, we understand
that visiting our relatives in Montana is
more important.
a. spring break in Disneyland, we understand
b. spring break in Disneyland; we understand
c. spring break in Disneyland we understand
d. spring break in Disneyland, but
we understand
e. spring break in Disneyland, until
we understand
Answers
1. c. This is a sentence fragment because it is missing a verb. Only choice c adds the verb in the
right tense.
2. e. The second part of this sentence is a fragment
and is missing the complete verb. Choice e adds
the verb begin to make it correct.
3. b. This is a run-on sentence with two independent
clauses joined by a comma. The way to correct
the error is to join the clauses with a semicolon
as in choice b.
4. c. To correct this run-on sentence, you can turn
the first independent clause into a dependent
one. To do this successfully, however, you have
to choose a subordinate conjunction (although)
to show how the two sentences relate to each
other. Because and whenever do not do this.
5. b. This is an example of a misplaced modifier.
The introductory clause should modify the
boys, not the couch.
6. e. This sentence contains faulty parallelism. All
three verbs must be the same. The first two end
in -ing, so the third one needs to be changed so
that it does, too.
7. b. These two independent clauses are joined by
a subordinate conjunction. Only although will
8. b.
9. e.
10. d.
11. c.
12. e.
84
show the correct relationship between the two

thoughts, however.
The dependent clause in the first half of this
sentence does not have the right relationship
to the second half. Only the addition of the
word although connects the two halves.
You need to look at the relationship between
the two independent clauses. The subordinate
conjunction has to connect the clauses so that
they make sense. Only the word since does this.
This is a run-on sentence that is best repaired
by adding a semicolon. The conjunctions in the
other examples do not show the relationship
between the sentences correctly.
In the original form, the word that creates
a dependent clause in the first part of the
sentence. Putting the word and between
the subject and verb makes the sentence
confusing and incorrect. The best solution
is to take any word in that position out,
as in choice c.
Here is a run-on sentence.You can fix this
problem by using the appropriate coordinating
conjunction. In this case, the best one is the
word but.
27. c. Here are two independent clauses that you

need to connect correctly. In this case, a
semicolon is the best option.
28. c. In this sentence, two independent clauses are
connected by the conjunction and. Although
grammatically correct, the two sentences relate
to each other and require a conjunction that
demonstrates that relationship. In this case,
the best choice is the conjuction although.
29. e. This is an example of faulty parallelism. The
first two examples are parallel in form, but
the third one is not. Choice e corrects the
error while retaining the overall meaning
of the sentence.
30. b. This is an example of faulty parallelism. The
first clause is written with the verb in the -ing
form, and the verbwhich is missing in the
second clauseshould match, as in choice b.
31. e. This sentence is confusing. In what order did
things actually happen? You need to rearrange
this sentence so that it makes more sense, as in
choice e.
32. c. The way this sentence is written the bike
appears to be wearing the shiny green pants.
The sentence needs to be rearranged so that
the modifiers are clearly describing the messenger, not the bike.
33. d. Here is an example of a misplaced modifier.
It appears as if the icy roads are going to the
concert. The sentence has to be rewritten to
show that it was people who were headed
to the concert instead.
34. c. This sentence shows a problem with verb tense.
It switches in the middle of the sentence. To
maintain consistency, the verb tenses must
match. Choice c is the only option that matches
the verb tenses.
35. e. Did you spot the pronoun shift in this
sentence? The pronouns shift from one
to you. To repair the error, the pronouns
must be consistent. Only choice e does that.
13. a. The original form is the best.

14. c. This is an example of a misplaced modifier.
The introductory clause should modify the
medication, not the physician.
15. b. The second part of this sentence is an
independent clause, but it is missing a verb.
Choice b adds the verb and maintains the
subject-verb agreement.
16. d. This is an example of a run-on sentence, and
adding a semicolon repairs the error. Inserting
the conjunctions would change the meaning
of the sentence.
17. c. In this sentence, the phrase from the local high
school history class is modifying student, so it
needs to be shifted without changing the
meaning of the sentence.
19. e. The misplaced modifier at the beginning of the
sentence should be moved so that it properly
modifies Kathleen and Kevin instead of ocean.
21. d. Having both couldnt and hardly in this
sentence creates a double negative. To best
repair it, one of the negatives needs to be
removed, as in choice d.
22. d. The word that turns the last half of the sentence into a dependent clause. Simply taking
that out, as in choice d, makes this sentence
complete and correct.
23. c. This is an example of a run-on sentence or
two independent clauses with nothing to connect them. The insertion of the semicolon is
the most common way to repair this error.
24. b. This is a comma splice, or a run-on sentence.
The best and easiest repair for this type of
error is the addition of a semicolon.
25. e. The second half of this sentence is a dependent clause, so the semicolon is not correct. A
comma is needed instead.
26. b. This is an example of an independent clause
followed by a dependent clause. A semicolon
is not necessary. Only a comma is needed.
85
36. b. This question tests subject-verb agreement.

The subject is option, which is singular, so the
verb must be singular, too.
37. e. The error here is faulty comparison. The
sentence compares the two Rush Hour movies.
Standard usage dictates that you include the
word other with a comparison like this.
38. a. This is best in its original form.
39. e. Conscience is a moral awareness; conscious
is a physical awareness. Josh was awake and
physically aware of his environment.
40. b. When referring to people, you should use the
word who. When referring to things, you can
use the word that.
41. b. This sentence contains far too many unnecessary words. Choice b removes the most words
while retaining the sentences original meaning.
42. e. This sentence contains a double negative
(didnt and nothing). One has to be changed
or removed to make the sentence correct.
Choice e does this.
43. d. This is a comma splice. Either a semicolon
or a coordinating conjunction that shows
the correct relationship between the two
independent clauses can correct this error.
Only choice d repairs the problem correctly.
44. a. This is best in its original form.
45. c. The error in this sentence is a pronoun shift.
The sentence begins with they and changes to
one. Choice c does the best job of making the
pronouns consistent without changing the
meaning of the sentence.
46. c. This sentence tests your ability to recognize a
problem with verb tense. The first part of the
sentence is in the past tense, and the second
part is in the present tense. To maintain consistency, the verb in the underlined portion
has to be put into the past tense.
47. b. This is a test of pronoun and antecedent
agreement. The antecedent is everyone,
which is singular, so the pronoun has to be
48.
49.
50.
51.
52.
53.
54.
55.
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singular, too. Their is plural, so it should be

replaced with his or her, which is singular.
e. This sentence shifts from the active to the
passive voice between the first and second
clause. Only choice e puts the second clause
into active voice, so it remains consistent.
b. In this choice, the suborninate conjunction
while clearly and effectively expresses the
right relationship between the two clauses.
In choice a, although does not express the
correct relationship. Choice cs use of
however is correct, but it is preceded by a
comma instead of a semicolon, creating
a run-on sentence. Choice d also creates
a run-on sentence and does not offer a
coordinating or subordinating conjunction
to express the contrast between the two
clauses. Choice e repeats the original error
and adds unnecessary wordy constructions.
a. This sentence is best in its original form.
d. The pronoun agreement is incorrect in this
sentence. It switches from one to you. To be
consistent, the pronouns must match, so
one should be changed to you.
c. This question tests pronoun/antecedent agreement. The last half of the sentence reads we, so
that implies that the speaker had to be part of
the third-grade class. The only pronoun that
includes the speaker is our.
d. Here is a problem of misplaced modifiers.
The sentence, as written, implies that
money is able to look through laundry.
The order of events is not quite clear
because of the misplaced modifiers. Only
choice d clarifies what actually happened.
e. This sentence is wordy and awkward. Cut it
down to only the necessary words that still
retain the sentences original meaning.
d. The introductory clause is modifying
the group of experts when it needs to
modify Sasquatch.
56. a. The original form of the sentence is best.

57. d. This is an example of faulty comparison. You
should be comparing the two computers, not
a computer to a person or a house.
58. b. When there are two words modifying the
same noun or verb, you need to put a comma
between them. This shows that both of words
are describing the same thing (relaxing and
soothing both modify massage).
59. a. The original form of the sentence is best.
60. d. The word near is modifying glamorous,
which makes it an adverb. To put near
in adverb form, you need to add the
-ly ending.
61. e. This is a comma splice error. A semicolon
needs to be inserted between the two independent clauses. Be careful to retain the commas that separate the list of nouns, though.
62. c. This is a sentence fragment; it is missing a
verb. Only choice c provides the verb without
altering the sentences original meaning.
63. b. Here, you must identify the faulty parallelism.
The last phrase does not match the others;
only choice b repairs this error.
64. d. The first part of this statement is a dependent clause, so it needs to be followed by an
independent clause. Removing the conjunction (yet) makes the second part an
independent clause.
65. a. The original form of the sentence is the best.
66. e. Because the second half of the sentence
is a dependent clause (beginning with
the conjunction so), the first half needs
to be independent. That can be done by
removing the word since.
67. c. This is a run-on sentence. The two independent
clauses should be separated by either a semicolon or the correct conjunction. Choice c
inserts the necessary semicolon.
68. c. This sentence contains a problem with faulty
parallelism. Massages, pedicures, manicures,
69. d.
70. e.
71. a.
72. b.
73. a.
74. b.
75. c.
76. d.
77. e.
78. d.
79. c.
80. b.
81. a.
87
mud baths is not parallel to you can get your

hair cut and styled, too. The last example needs
to be rewritten in noun form to match the
previous examples.
This sentence contains an error in diction.
Remember, adverbs modify active verbs.
The correct word to modify to play is well,
not good.
To fix this idiom error, the word where should
be replaced with in which.
The original form of the sentence is the best.
They does not directly relate to any noun
or pronoun in the sentence and needs to
be clarified.
This sentence is best in its original form.
This is a comma splice, where two independent clauses are incorrectly connected by a
comma. In this answer choice, the error is corrected by inserting the conjunction that shows
the proper relationship between the clauses.
This sentence has a pronoun shift in it. It starts
with I and then changes to you. Choice c makes
both of the pronouns consistent.
The word proud needs to be an adverb,
because it is modifying looked. Proud
requires the -ly ending.
When you see the word neither, remember
that you need to use nor (instead of or).
Also, note that neither is singular, so
you need a singular verb as well.
In this sentence, quick needs to be an adverb,
because it is modifying guzzled. Quick requires
the -ly ending.
This is another example of a pronoun shift.
Pronoun usage must be consistent throughout
the sentence.
In the underlined phrase, the subject is
baby, which is singular, so the verb must
be singular, too. Are should be changed
to is, as in choice b.
82. d. Choice a has a misplaced modifier; it was

the ceremony that was held in 1927, not President Coolidge. Choice b retains this error
and adds a wordy construction. Choice c is
grammatically correct but not as concise as
choice d because it uses the passive voice.
Choice e is a sentence fragment.
83. c. The way this sentence is written, it sounds as
if the store was dented and past its expiration
date. The sentence needs to be rewritten so
that these details modify canned peaches.
84. d. This sentence has faulty parallelism. The last
phrase, and how it tastes best overall, does not
match the pattern of the others (the flakiest
crust, the sweetest cherries). To make these
phrases parallel, you need to change the last
phrase to and the best overall taste.
85. d. This question tests subject-verb agreement.
The subject is artists, which is plural, so the verb
(tour) needs to match. Also, because regular is
used as an adverb, it needs to keep the -ly ending.
86. c. In the underlined phrase, the subject is player,
which is singular. The pronoun used is they,
which is plural. Only choice c fixes the pronoun so it is consistent with the subject.
87. b. This is a case of an indefinite pronoun. The
word they does not directly relate to any noun
or pronoun in the sentence. Words need to be
inserted to clarify who they are.
88. a. This sentence is best in its original form.
90. e. When the word caught is used, standard usage
dictates that the phrase should be caught on,
not caught up.
92. c. This is an idiomatic question. Through the
clock is not the correct expression. Standard
usage dictates that the expression to be used
is around the clock.
93. d. This is an example of a dependent clause
followed by another dependent clause. The
94. b.
95. e.
96. d.
97. c.
98. b.
99. a.
100. c.
101. d.
88
second dependent clause has to be changed

into an independent clause. The only way
to do this is by removing the conjunction,
as in choice d.
This is a sentence fragment. The word that
turns an independent clause into a dependent one. The solution is to remove that.
A semicolon is used to connect two independent clauses. This sentence has a semicolon
connecting an independent and a dependent
clause, which is incorrect. You need to
replace the semicolon with a comma.
This is an example of a run-on sentence.
The insertion of the semicolon fixes the
error. The conjunctions suggested in the
other answer choices do not show the appropriate relationship between the clauses.
This is an example of faulty coordination.
The two independent clauses do not seem
to have any reasonable relationship to each
other. The addition of the right connecting
word (while) is essential.
This sentence is an example of faulty parallelism. What his blood oxygen levels were is
not parallel to his heart rate, his breathing,
and his overall coherency. Choice b makes
them all parallel and eliminates the
redundancy of his.
The sentence is best in its original form.
This is a case of faulty subordination. The
relationship between the ideas is not clear or
logical. In this example, the effect is presented
before the cause, which causes confusion.
This is a case of faulty subordination. The
subordinating conjunction at the beginning
of this sentence is what determines the relationship between the ideas, so it must make
sense. Though does not connect the ideas
together logically. Another subordinating
conjunction is needed.
102. e. This question tests subject-verb agreement.

Because there are plural subjects in this sentence (bottle and sponges), the verb needs to
be plural, too. Remember, when the subjects
are things, which and who are not used.
Rather, the word that should be applied.
104. b. This is an example of a faulty verb form.
With an irregular verb like to sell, a helping
verb has to be added and the correct verb
tense (the past) must be maintained.
105. c. This sentence contains a pronoun error.
Because you and your are used throughout the sentence, their is incorrect in the
underlined section.
106. d. Although this sentence is grammatically
correct, it is redundant and wordy. By cutting out the unnecessary words while retaining the sentences original meaning, you can
fix this problem, as shown in choice d.
107. b. This phrase is written in the passive
voice, instead of the active voice. The
passive voice is not as direct and clear
as the active voice.
109. b. To steal is another example of an irregular
verb. The past tense is stolen and requires
a helping verb in the correct tense to match
the subject.
110. c. This sentence contains a double negative.
Both hadnt and no are negatives. Remove
one, while maintaining the correct verb tense.
111. d. This sentence is a fragment, missing the
main verb. Although several of the choices
add a verb, only choice d does so without
changing the sentences meaning or making
the sentence awkward and confusing.
112. b. This is the most concise version and the
one that best expresses the relationship
between the clauses. The use of also in
choice a expresses addition when the
113. d.
114. a.
115. b.
116. a.
117. c.
118. a.
119. e.
120. d.
121. c.
122. b.
89
relationship is really one of simultaneity.

Choice c has a superfluous comma
after while and uses a wordy that clause.
Choice d is wordy. Choice e makes the
original error and uses the vague phrase
find things.
This is an example of a comma splice
(two independent clauses connected with
a comma). To correct this problem, either a
semicolon or the right conjunction is needed.
Because the conjunctions here do not show
the correct relationship between the clauses,
adding the semicolon is the best solution.
Here, the introductory clause is modifying
the meal instead of Melanie. The sentence
needs to be rewritten with the modifier in
the correct place.
This is a question of pronoun use. Because
the subject is singular (winner), the pronoun
must be singular, too. To keep the sentence
consistent, it must be you to match the
other pronoun.
The subject of this sentence is reasons,
which is plural. The verb must agree,
so is should be are.
The subject in this sentence is compound
(photographs, cards, letters, and other memorabilia), so the verb has to be plural. Change
fills to fill.
The pronoun shift needs to be repaired in
this sentence. The sentence begins using you
and then switches to one. To stay consistent,
the second part of the sentence should also
be you.
This is an example of faulty parallelism. The
last part of the sentence breaks the pattern
and needs to be rewritten with the correct
verb tense for consistency.
136. d. Only this answer choice corrects the faulty

comparison: Human beings are taller and
stronger than they were 200 years ago, not
taller and stronger than 200 years ago.
Choice b has an apostrophe error in
beings. Choices c and e are fragments.
137. b. This is an example of an illogical comparison. As it is written, the sentence states
that Carson and science class are both
very difficult.
139. e. This sentence contains a double negative.
One of the negatives has to be removed,
and the verb tense has to be maintained.
140. d. This is an example of a comma splice, where
two independent clauses are connected with
a comma. Instead of a comma, the sentence
needs a semicolon or an appropriate subordinating conjunction. The conjunctions offered
here do not fit, so adding a semicolon is the
best solution.
141. b. This is a case of a misplaced modifier. As
written, the sentence suggests that the traffic
was driving for the first time. The entire
sentence needs to be changed so that the
introductory clause is modifying the
teenager instead of the traffic.
142. e. This question deals with incorrect word
choice. The correct word is elude, which
means to stay just out of reach. Allude
means to indirectly refer to something.
143. c. This is an example of faulty parallelism.
The pattern is adverb and verb, until the
last phrase. For consistency, the last phrase
needs to be rewritten to match the others.
145. d. This sentence contains a dependent
clause followed by another dependent clause.
Removing so from the second dependent
clause would make it independent.
123. b. This is an error with faulty comparison. The

sentence compares one computer to another.
Standard usage dictates that you include the
word other.
125. c. This is a problem with word choice. The
correct term is formerly, not formally.
127. a. This sentence is best in its original form. This
is another question testing your ability to
make the right word choice. Council means
committee, counsel means to give advice, and
consul means a person appointed to a position
by a foreign government.
128. e. This is an example of incorrect word choice.
The word that should be used is breath, a
noun, instead of breathe, which is a verb.
129. c. This is a sentence fragment. It is missing the
main verb. Only choice c provides the main
verb in the correct tense.
131. d. The error in this sentence is the subordinating conjunction in the dependent clause.
Until does not make sense and does not
show the relationship between the ideas.
Only the conjunction unless corrects this.
132. e. This is an example of a misplaced modifier.
As written, the sentence expresses that the
chair has been shopping for five hours
nonstop, instead of Megan. The modifier
has to be moved so that it is modifying the
correct noun.
133. c. The subordinating conjunction in this
sentence does not make sense. Only the
subordinating conjunction until makes a
logical connection between the ideas.
135. b. This sentence contains faulty subordination,
which makes it difficult to understand. The
cause-and-effect relationship between the
ideas is lost, and the sentence needs to be
rewritten in a logical order.
90
148. b. This is a question about pronoun agreement.

Replace the pronoun your with their to be
consistent with the rest of the nouns and
pronouns in the sentence.
149. b. This question tests pronoun agreement. The
first pronoun is one, so he or she, not they,
would maintain consistency.
150. d. This is a sentence fragment. The verb is
missing from the second half of the sentence.
Only d inserts a verb and in the correct tense.
151. e. This is an example of a run-on sentence;
it has two independent clauses that are not
joined with a conjunction or punctuation.
Choice e provides the solution by adding
a semicolon.
152. b. This is a run-on sentence because it has two
independent clauses that are not joined with
a conjunction or semicolon. In this answer
choice, the appropriate conjunction is added
to the introductory clause, making the introductory clause dependent and the sentence
grammatically correct.
153. c. This sentence contains a double negative.
One of the negatives must be removed to
make the sentence correct. In this answer
choice, no is changed to any.
154. d. The main error here is the unclear pronoun
reference in they, which can refer to either
the chemicals or the cancerous cells. Only
choice d clarifies this by stating because the
chemicals are unable to distinguish. Choice a
155. e.
156. c.
157. b.
158. d.
159. b.
160. a.
161. a.
91
is a run-on sentence. Choice b is missing a

noun or pronoun after because. Choices c
and e are illogical.
This question is looking at pronoun use. In
this sentence, a possessive pronoun is needed,
so the answer choice with our is correct.
As it is written, this sentence is a fragment,
because of the word that. By removing
that, the sentence is corrected.
This is an example of faulty parallelism. The
pattern is interrupted with the last element.
In choice b, this element is rewritten to
make it parallel with rest.
The modifying clause is in the wrong place
in this question. The sentence suggests that
the couple is wrapped in a red, satin bow.
The clause needs to be moved closer to
the noun it modifies, present.
Coordination/subordination, parallel structure, and wordiness are the main issues here.
Choice a uses the illogical subordinating
conjunction whereas and lacks parallel structure. Choice c uses an incorrect conjunction,
is wordy because it uses the passive voice, and
is not quite parallel. Choice d incorrectly uses
in contrast instead of expressing addition and
uses the passive voice. Choice e expresses a
logical relationship between the clauses
but is wordy and uses the passive voice.
C H A P T E R
Improving
Paragraphs
Questions
With this type of question, you will be given an example of a students
first draft, which is usually three to five paragraphs long. Multiple questions will be asked about each essay, and these questions may cover
a phrase, a few sentences, a whole paragraph, or the entire essay.
Each sentence is numbered, so specific sentences are easy to find
quickly. You could be asked to revise part of the essay, combine sentences for better flow and organization, or improve content by adding
or deleting sentences or pinpointing the main idea.
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IMPROVING PARAGRAPHS
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IMPROVING PARAGRAPHS QUESTIONS
Questions
(15) For decades, the debate had raged over the

best way to link these two countries. (16) Ideas
ranged from sunken tubes to iron bridges. (17)
Which could be easiest and safesta bridge, a tunnel, or some combination of the two? (18) Every single plan posed some kind of unique problems. (19)
A bridge over 20 miles long was a nightmare to try
and support. (20) Experts argued that it would cause
problems with the many ships that needed to pass
through the Channel. (21) Even the best of lighthouses, foghorns, and other precautions not enough
to warn a ship that the bridge was ahead. (22) That
was asking for a real disaster.
Here are some practice drafts and questions for you to

read through. Challenge yourself to see how much
you know!
(1) The Chunnel is one of the most remarkable feats
of architecture ever created, as it is the underwater
tunnel that runs underneath the English Channel
between England and France. (2) The incredible
notion of connecting those two powerful countries
that had been separated for more than 12,000 years
had been tossed around for more than two centuries. (3) Everyone from engineers to architects to
politicians had come up with a plan or a blueprint.
(4) Today, the Chunnel is considered to be one of
the true wonders of the modern world for its size
and complexity. (5) Also for the fact that it succeeded even though it was full of structural dilemmas. (6) It also had many budget catastrophes and
safety nightmares.
(7) The idea for a connection between France
and England was first mentioned at the end of the
eighteenth century. (8) Although frequently ignored,
squashed, and thrown out, the idea just would not
die. (9) It continued to pop up again and again for
over 200 years. (10) Both European countries were
gaining in power and trade between them was on the
rise. (11) A century ago, the 20-plus miles that separated them made trade not only slow, but also quite
dangerous. (12) Under the best weather conditions,
the trip from one coastline to the other took six to
eight hours, and frequently, vicious storms delayed
ships for dayseven weeks. (13) Frustration on
both ends grew as shipments fell behind schedule
and workers arrived at the docks too seasick to load
or unload their cargo. (14) Even later, when ferries
and airplanes came along to make the trip faster
and safer, passengers still had to put up with paying
high transportation fees, standing in crowded airports and other inconveniences.
1. Which of the following is the best revision of

sentence 1 (reproduced below)?
The Chunnel is one of the most remarkable feats
of architecture ever created, as it is the underwater tunnel which runs underneath the English
Channel between England and France.
a. The Chunnel, one of the most remarkable feats
of architecture ever created, is the underwater
tunnel which runs underneath the English
Channel between England and France.
b. The Chunnel, or underwater tunnel that
runs underneath the English Channel between
England and France, is one of the most remarkable feats of architecture ever created.
c. The underwater tunnel that runs underneath
the English Channel between England and
France is the Chunnel, which is one of the
most remarkable feats of architecture
ever created.
d. Between France and England is the underwater tunnel, which runs underneath the English
Channel and is one of the most remarkable
feats of architecture ever created, the Chunnel.
e. The Chunnel, which runs underneath the
English Channel between England and
France, is an underwater tunnel because
it is one of the most remarkable feats of
architecture ever created.
97
3. Which would be the most effective way to combine sentences 4, 5, and 6 (reproduced below)?

Today, the Chunnel is considered to be one of

the true wonders of the modern world for its size
and complexity. Also for the fact that it succeeded
even though it was full of structural dilemmas. It
also had many budget catastrophes and safety
nightmares.
Even the best of lighthouses, foghorns, and other

precautions not enough to warn a ship that
the bridge was ahead.
a. Even the best of lighthouses and foghorns and
other precautions not enough to warn a ship
that the bridge was ahead.
b. Other precautions, like the best of lighthouses
and foghorns, not quite enough to warn a ship
that the bridge was ahead.
c. Even the best of lighthouses, foghorns, and
other precautions might not be enough to
warn a ship that the bridge was ahead.
d. Not be quite enough to warn a ship that the
bridge was ahead, other precautions, like the
best of lighthouses and foghorns.
e. Even the best of lighthouses, foghorns, and
other precautions, just not enough to warn a
ship that the bridge was ahead.
a. Today, the Chunnel is considered to be one

of the true wonders of the modern world,
not only for its size and complexity, but also
for the fact that it succeeded even though it
was full of structural dilemmas and it had
many budget catastrophes and many safety
nightmares.
b. Today, the Chunnel is considered to be one of
the true wonders of the modern world for its
size and complexity, it succeeded even though
it was full of structural dilemmas and it has
budget catastrophes and safety nightmares.
c. Although the Chunnel is considered to be one
of the true wonders of the modern world, it is
for its size and complexity and for the fact that
it succeeded even though it was full of structural dilemmas like budget catastrophes and
safety nightmares.
d. Today, the Chunnel is one of the true wonders
of the modern world, not only for its size and
complexity, but for the fact that it succeeded
even though full of structural dilemmas plus
budget catastrophes and also safety nightmares.
e. Today, the Chunnel is considered to be one of
the true wonders of the modern world, not
only for its size and complexity, but also for
the fact that it succeeded even though it was
full of structural dilemmas, budget catastrophes, and safety nightmares.
98
4. Which of the following best describes the purpose

of paragraph 2?
a. to explain how the Chunnel was originally built
b. to outline the different construction ideas that
were considered
c. to show the immense complexity of the
Chunnel plans
d. to demonstrate why the Chunnel was
truly necessary
e. to prove that a tunnel was much smarter than
a bridge
(1) The trapdoor spider cannot spin a web, it must

use a different kind of devious strategy in order to
capture its desired prey. (2) Instead of spinning a
home, it uses its long legs to dig a tunnel in the
ground. (3) Its about 11 inches deep. (4) Most of the
time, its two inches wide. (5) It lines the walls with
silk, and then, using a combination of silk and dirt,
it creates a tricky trapdoor to cover the top. (6) The
lid keeps out heat, rain, cold, and predators, plus it
fools potential prey.
(7) The trapdoor spider waits for the slightest
vibration underneath the hidden door. (8) When it
comes along, the spider throws open the door and
grabs the unsuspecting prey, from a snack-sized
moth or beetle to a feast of a frog or baby bird.
(9) The trapdoor spiders home is not only a
hiding place for grabbing meals but also hiding in if
the spider feels threatened. (10) These spiders run
very quickly and often must escape from intimidating and powerful predators.
5. Based on the main idea of paragraph 3, which

of the following sentences would be the most
effective one to follow sentence 22?
a. On the other hand, a tunnel built hundreds
of feet below the water of the Channel seemed
equally risky.
b. The cost of the project would be
truly astronomical and hard to justify
to either government.
c. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was especially concerned about getting all of the English
and French to use the completed tunnel.
d. Men from all different professions and backgrounds submitted proposals for every kind
of construction possible.
e. The Chunnel consisted of three tunnels, two
running parallel for rail traffic and a third for
service and security.
6. In context, which word should be placed at the

beginning of sentence 1 (reproduced below)?
The trapdoor spider cannot spin a web, it must
use a different kind of devious strategy in order to
capture its desired prey.
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
99
Meanwhile
Because
However
Nonetheless
Fortunately
9. In context, where would the following sentence

fit best within the essay?
7. Which of the following is the best way to combine sentences 2, 3, and 4 (reproduced below)?
To do this, they build a few extra hidden

entrances, escape tunnels, and side passages
for quick getaways.
Instead of spinning a home, it uses its long legs to

dig a tunnel in the ground. Its about 11 inches
deep. Most of the time, its two inches wide.
a. Instead of spinning a home, it uses it long
lets to dig a tunnel in the ground, it is about
11 inches deep and two inches wide.
b. Instead of spinning a home, they use its long
legs to dig a tunnel in the ground and it is about
11 inches deep and about two inches wide.
c. Instead of spinning a home, it uses its long legs
to dig a tunnel in the ground about 11 inches
deep and two inches wide.
d. Instead of spinning a home, it uses 11 inches
deep and two inches wide long legs to dig a
tunnel in the ground.
e. Instead of spinning a home, most of the time, it
uses its long legs to dig a tunnel in the ground
that is 11 inches deep and is just about two
inches wide.
8. Which of the following is the best revision for
The trapdoor spider waits for the slightest vibration underneath the hidden door.
a. The trapdoor spider wait for the slightest
vibration underneath the hidden door.
b. But for the slightest vibration, the trapdoor
spider waits underneath the hidden door.
c. The hidden door is where the trapdoor spider
wait for the slightest vibration.
d. The trapdoor spider waits underneath the hidden door for the slightest vibration.
e. Although the trapdoor spider waits underneath
the hidden door for the slightest vibration.
100
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
following sentence 1
(1) Curiosity drove Pierre and Marie Curie. (2) Their

earlier experiments had found the three minerals
that contained the most uranium. (3) However,
through a very slow and detailed process, they also
discovered something else. (4) There were two other
mysterious elements within those minerals in very
small quantities. (5) How could they identify them?
(6) It was not a fun or fast procedure. (7) Marie
knew that a product called pitchblende was the best
to use for their experiments. (8) One sack of it only
made a thimbleful of these unknown elements. (9)
To get even was a quite a chore.
(10) First the pitchblende was sifted. (11) Then
it was ground. (12) Marie boiled it in a big iron pot,
stirring for hours with an iron rod. (13) The liquid
was thrown away. (14) Pierre would take what was
left and treat it with different chemicals. (15) This
helped him know which elements he wanted to
throw away and which he wanted to study. (16)
Between Marie and Pierre, they found them. (17)
The first they named polonium in honor of Poland.
(18) It is located in eastern Europe. (19) The second
one they called radium.
12. Which of the following sentences from the passage should be deleted?
a. sentence 1
b. sentence 5
c. sentence 6
d. sentence 17
e. sentence 18
10. Which of the following best describes the purpose of paragraph 3?

a. to explain the process of separating
different minerals
b. to prove how the Curies discovered uranium
c. to show how Pierre met and married
Marie Curie
d. to discuss what things can be made with radium
e. to demonstrate how hard it was to
find pitchblende
13. In sentence 16, the word them could best be

replaced with which of the following?
a. radium
b. pitchblende
c. the two elements
d. polonium
e. both experiments
11. What is the most effective way to combine sentences 10, 11, and 12 (reproduced below)?
First the pitchblende was sifted. Then it was
ground. Marie boiled it in a big iron pot, stirring
for hours with an iron rod.
(1) A scrapbook is an easy family craft that can

reflect the style, format, and contents of its creators
unique personality. (2) All it takes is initiative. (3)
Interest and inspiration help too. (4) Begin by
choosing a cover style for your scrapbook. (5) You
can purchase one premade in a store or create your
own. (6) You might want to use a plastic binder
with a clear front cover and put stuff on it. (7) Next,
choose what theme you want for your scrapbook. (8)
Is it for your entire family or just you? (9) Do you
want it to focus on school activities alone or your life
in general? (10) Perhaps you would like it to just be
about spring break or summer vacation.
(11) Do you know what to include in your
scrapbook? (12) The more variety you use, the better. (13) How about some photographs, ticket stubs,
and postcards? (14) You might want to include personal letters, drawings, report cards, or greeting
cards. (15) Other possibilities include newspaper
clippings, pressed flowers, concert programs, and
certificates. (16) I have all of those in mine and it
looks fantastic.
a. First, the pitchblende was sifted, then ground

finally boiled in a big iron pot and stirred for
hours with an iron rod by Marie.
b. The pitchblende was first sifted, then ground,
and finally boiled in a big iron pot, while
Marie stirred it for hours with an iron rod.
c. First, the pitchblende was sifted, ground by
Marie and then it was boiled in a big iron pot,
stirring for hours with an iron rod.
d. Marie, boiled in a big iron pot and stirred for
hours with an iron rod, sifted the pitchblende
and then ground it.
e. The big iron pot was stirred for hours with an
iron rod by Marie and then the pitchblende
was sifted and then ground.
101
15. Which revision of sentence 6 (reproduced below)

is the best?
You might want to use a plastic binder with a

clear front cover and put stuff on it.
A scrapbook is an easy family craft that can

reflect the style, format, and contents of its
creators unique personality. All it takes is
initiative. Interest and inspiration help too.
a. A scrapbook is an easy family craft that
can reflect the style, format, and contents of its
creators unique personality, all it takes is initiative and interest and inspiration helps too.
b. A scrapbook is an easy family craft that
can reflect the style, format, and contents of
its creators unique personality, and all it takes
is some initiative, interest, and inspiration.
c. Although a scrapbook is an easy family craft
reflecting the style, format, and contents of
its creators unique personality, but it takes
initiative, interest, and inspiration.
d. An easy family craft reflecting the style, format,
and contents of its creators unique personality,
initiative, interest, and inspiration are need to
make a scrapbook.
e. Initiative, interest, and inspiration help the
style, format, and contents of the creators
unique personality while making an easy
family craft like a scrapbook.
a. You might want to use a clear binder and then

put some stuff on it.
b. Putting some stuff on it, a clear front covered
plastic binder could be used.
c. A plastic binder with a clear front cover can be
used for all kinds of things.
d. You might want to use a plastic binder with a
clear front cover and decorate it.
e. Perhaps you could add a lot of things to the
plastic binders clear front cover.
16. What is the main idea of this essay?
a. what kind of plastic binder you can make for
a scrapbook
b. how to arrange photographs and cards in
a scrapbook
c. why it is fairly simple for someone to make
a scrapbook
d. what themes a person could use for
his or her scrapbook
e. when someone should first consider creating
a scrapbook
17. Which of the following sentences would fit best
following sentence 10?
a. You might even want to add locks of hair,
brochures, or magazine articles.
b. You could always make one out of cardboard,
construction paper, and glue.
c. The cover should make a statement about who
you are and what the theme is.
d. Consider using stickers, glitter, fabric paint, or
anything else that you really like.
e. You could also emphasize church activities,
school field trips, or your best friends.
102
18. Which sentence in the essay should be deleted to

improve the organization?
a. Begin by choosing a cover style for your
scrapbook.
b. Do you want it to focus on school activities
alone or your life in general?
c. Do you know what to include in your scrapbook?
d. You might want to include personal letters,
drawings, report cards, or greeting cards.
e. I have all of those in mine and it looks fantastic.
19. In the context of the first paragraph, which of the

following revisions is best for sentence 1 (reproduced below)?
(1) One thing about writing well is that it is challenging to do it right, although most teachers will tell
you theres really no single correct way to do it, so
thats confusing. (2) What I learned in school is that
you start with an idea, and some ideas are easier to
develop than others. (3) Complicating matters is
that sometimes you dont know which one is which
until you get into it. (4) Anyway, you start with a first
draft, using a technique such as fastwriting. (5)
There you take an idea and just start writing about
it until you get to the end. (6) The advantage of that
is that you dont have to be so critical about what
youre writing while youre doing it. (7) You just say
what you have to say first and then go back and look
over it later and make any changes that you need to.
(8) Alternatively, you can start by making an outline.
(9) Sometimes, that helps, but sometimes, it makes
you less creative, which is a good thing.
(10) Once you get your first draft down, its time
to start revising it. (11) You have to look for stuff like
run-on sentences, misspelled words, and misplaced
modifiers. (12) Thats something I do all the time, so
now I always watch out for that. (13) And you have to
be sure that what you said makes sense. (14) Thats the
main consideration, and not to be forgotten.
(15) Making your best effort is very important,
especially when it comes to writing. (16) Almost
everything you do in school, work, or even life,
depends on people understanding what you are trying to say. (17) Thats why its vital to be crystal clear
in your writing, although thats easier said than done.
103
One thing about writing well is that it is challenging to do it right, although most teachers will tell
you theres really no single correct way to do it, so
thats confusing.
a. Since most teachers tell you theres no single
right way to write well, it can be confusing
to try to write right.
b. Its confusing and difficult to write well,
although most teachers will tell you
theres no single right way to do it.
c. It is difficult to write well, and its confusing
that most teachers say theres no single right
way to do it.
d. One thing about writing well thats difficult
is that its confusing for teachers to tell you
theres really no single correct way to do it.
e. Its confusing that most teachers tell you
theres no single right way to write well,
and then its difficult to do it correctly.
21. In context, which of the following is the best

revision of the underlined portion of
20. Which of the following would be the most clear

and concise way to combine sentences 2 and 3
(reproduced below)?
There you take an idea and just start writing

about it until you get to the end.
What I learned in school is that you start with an

idea, and some ideas are easier to develop than
others. Complicating matters is that sometimes you
dont know which one is which until you get into it.
a. I learned in school that you start with an
idea, but some ideas are easier to develop
than others; and, besides, to complicate matters, sometimes you dont know how difficult
an idea is until you start writing.
b. In school I learned that you start with an idea,
and some ideas are easier to develop than others, but it complicates matters that sometimes
you dont know which it is until you get into it.
c. What I learned in schoolthat you start with
an ideais complicated because some ideas
are easier to develop than others, and sometimes you dont know which one is which
until you get into it.
d. I learned in school that you start with an idea,
but it complicates matters that sometimes you
dont know whether or not an idea is easy to
develop until you get into it.
e. Although some ideas are easier to develop
than others, I learned in school that you start
with an idea; and it complicates matters that
sometimes you dont know how difficult it is
until you get into it.
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
There an individual
As far as fastwriting is concerned, you
With this, you
There one could
In this technique, you
22. Which of the following revisions is most necessary in the final sentence of paragraph 1?
a. No change is necessary.
b. Change the comma to a semicolon.
c. Change which to and creativity.
d. Change that to an outline.
e. Change it to an outline.
104
(1) More than 500 years ago, a breed of horse was

bred for its beauty, strength, and agility. (2) It was
known as the Lipizzaner. (3) It was not long before
they were made part of the Austrian emperors royal
stables. (4) These elegant and talented horses still
exist today, and thousands of people come to watch
it perform its amazing tricks.
(5) The first trick the Lipizzaner do are change
color. (6) Most of them are born coal-black or
brown, but by the time they are ten years old, they
have turned white. (7) At the age of three, the most
promising young horses are separate from the others and began their training. (8) It is not long before
they are paired with a teenage rider who is also in the
midst of training. (9) These two will remain together
for up to eight years learning skills that require balance and strength on both parts.
(10) By the time they are ready to go on tour
for audiences around the world, Lipizzaner can perform pirouettes, powerful kicks, and unbelievable
leaps. (11) They enthrall crowds everywhere with
their abilities and grace.

revision of sentence 7 (reproduced below)?
23. Which of the following represents the best revision, in context, of the underlined part of sentence 4 (reproduced below)?
At the age of three, the most promising young

horses are separate from the others and began
their training.
These elegant and talented horses still exist today,

and thousands of people come to watch it perform
its amazing tricks.
a. At the age of three, the most promising young

horses, although separate from the others,
began their training.
b. At the age of three, the most promising young
horses are separating from the others and
beginning their training.
c. At the age of three, the most promising
young horses separate and began training
from the others.
d. At the age of three, the most promising young
horses are separated from the others and
beginning their training.
e. At the age of three, the most promising young
horses are separated from the others and
begin their training.
a. come to watch him perform his amazing

tricks.
b. come to watch them perform their amazing
tricks.
c. came to watch it perform its amazing tricks.
d. is coming to watch him perform its amazing
tricks.
e. come to watch us perform our amazing tricks.
The first trick the Lipizzaner do are change color.
a. The first trick the Lipizanners do are
change color.
b. The first trick the Lipizzaner does is
change color.
c. The first trick the Lipizanners did is
change color.
d. The first trick the Lipizzaner do is change color.
e. The first trick the Lipizanners are doing is
change color.
26. What is the main purpose of the essays second

paragraph?
a. to outline the training that the Lipizzaner go
through in life
b. to provide background on where the
Lipizzaner horses first came from
c. to show all of the different tricks these horses
learn how to perform
d. to describe a Lipizzaner performance to
potential future audiences
e. to demonstrate the extensive history of the Lipizzaner breeding line
105

27. The logical flow of the passage as a whole would

be most improved by making which of the following changes to the second paragraph?
a. After sentence 5, insert a sentence listing the
other tricks the horses can do.
b. After sentence 6, insert a sentence naming the
scientific process of how their color changes.
c. After sentence 7, insert a sentence about how
the horses respond to separation.
d. After sentence 8, insert a sentence detailing
which teenagers are chosen.
e. After sentence 9, insert a sentence describing
the exercises they do together.
There isnt much you can do about that putting

things on the outside of your locker is usually
frowned upon in most public school systems.
(1) Do you want to spice up your school days?

Would you like the other kids in school to know
more about you without ever saying a word? (2)
Why not decorate your locker?
(3) School lockers can be quite dull on the
outside. (4) Each one looks just like the one on either
side of it. (5) There isnt much you can do about that
putting things on the outside of your locker is usually frowned upon in most public school systems. (6)
The inside, however, is your own personal space and
one can decorate it in many unique ways to reflect
their distinct individuality.
(7) Fortunately, in recent years, a number of
companies have manufactured various kinds of
locker gear. (8) You can go to most large department
stores and find mirrors, shelves, photo frames or
pen and pencil holders. (9) Beyond what you can
buy, however, you can also create on your own.
(10) For example, you can take some of your
favorite toys or figurines. (11) Add peel and stick
magnets to the back of them. (12) You can also
laminate your drawings and turn them into magnets as well. (13) This way, you can stick them on
the sides, top or bottom of your locker. (14) Be sure
to avoid using tape or any kind of glue. (15) You
want to be able to remove your things at the end of
the school year!
106
a. There isnt much you can do about that so

putting things on the outside of your locker
is usually frowned upon in most public
school systems.
b. There isnt much you can do about that
because putting things on the outside of
your locker is usually frowned upon in
most public school systems.
c. There isnt much you can do about that,
putting things on the outside of your
locker is usually frowned upon in
most public school systems.
d. There isnt much you can do about putting
things on the outside of your locker is usually
frowned upon in most public school systems.
e. There isnt much you can do about that,
however, putting things on the outside of your
locker is usually frowned upon in most public
school systems.
31. Which of the following represents the best revision, in context, of the underlined part of sentence 6 (reproduced below)?
29. In context, which of the following represents the

best way to revise and combine sentences 10, 11,
and 12 (reproduced below)?
The inside, however, is your own personal space

and one can decorate it in many unique ways to
reflect their distinct individuality.
For example, you can take some of your favorite

toys or figurines. Add peel and stick magnets to
the back of them. You can also laminate your
drawings and turn them into magnets as well.
a. one can decorate it in many unique ways to

reflect ones distinct personality.
b. they can decorate it in many unique ways to
reflect their distinct personality.
c. he can decorate it in many unique ways to
reflect his distinct personality.
d. you can decorate it in many unique ways to
reflect your distinct personality.
e. we can decorate it in many unique ways to
reflect our distinct personality.
a. For example, take some of your favorite toys or

figurines or laminate some of your drawings
and then add peel and stick magnets to the
back of them to turn them all into magnets.
b. Take some of your favorite toys or figurines,
plus your laminated drawings, for example,
and add peel and stick magnets to the back of
them to turn them into magnets as well.
c. For example, you can take some of your
favorite toys or figurines or laminated drawings and add peel and stick magnets to the
back of them.
d. By adding peel and stick magnets to the back
of your favorite toys or figurines or some of
your laminated drawings, you can turn them
all into magnets.
e. Laminate your favorite drawings and then put
peel and stick magnets on the back of them or
take some of your toys and figurines and do
the same thing to them.
30. Which of the following sentences, if added after
sentence 9, would best serve to link the third
paragraph to the fourth paragraph?
a. You can often do this just by using typical
items already found in your home.
b. The typical school locker is gray, metal, and
features nothing more than a number.
c. Many sites found on the Internet feature a
huge variety of locker products for sale.
d. You can let people glimpse into what is important to you by doing this.
e. If you dont, you will most likely be hearing
from your school administration.
107
(1) Most 18-year-olds spend their time getting

ready for graduation. (2) Some are preparing for
college. (3) Others are looking for full-time jobs. (4)
A young man named Michael Sessions has far different plans. (5) He is working on an outline for
what he wants to achieve as one of the countrys
youngest mayors in history.
(6) In the November 2005 elections held in
Hillsdale, Michigan, Sessions, a high school senior,
received over 700 votes and found himself the new
major of his small town. (7) He ran his entire campaign off the $700 that he earned during the summer. (8) He used it to go door to door throughout
his city, meeting people. (9) The personal touch was
quite successful. (10) Sessions was too young to sign
up at the time of the spring registration for candidates, so he waited until he turned 18 and then
entered as a write-in candidate. (11) This meant
that voters had to remember it and write it on the
ballot in order to vote for him.
(12) Although Sessions is still in school, he
performs his mayoral duties in the late afternoons,
evenings, and weekends. (13) He plans to keep this
schedule up when he attends college in the autumn.
34. What is the main idea of this passage as a whole?

a. how to get elected to a political office while
still in high school
b. what life is like the small city of
Hillsdale, Michigan
c. how a high school student got elected to office
d. why Sessions was able to beat out the
area incumbent
e. where to get a summer job in order to pay for
a campaign
32. In context, which of the following represents the

best way to revise and combine sentences 1, 2,
Most 18-year-olds spend their time getting ready
for graduation. Some are preparing for college.
Others are looking for full-time jobs.
a. Most 18-year-olds spend their time getting
ready for graduation, preparing for college,
or looking for full-time jobs.
b. Most 18-year-olds spend their time getting
ready for graduation, prepare for college or
look for full-time jobs.
c. Most 18-year-olds spending their time getting
ready for graduation, preparing for college, or
looking for full-time jobs.
d. Most 18-year-olds spend their time get ready
for graduation, prepare for college, and look
for full-time jobs.
e. Most 18-year-olds spend their time getting
ready for graduation, preparing for college,
and looked for full-time jobs.
35. In context, which word should be placed at the

beginning of sentence 4 (reproduced below)?
A young man named Michael Sessions has far
different plans.
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
33. In the context of the passage as a whole, which of

the following is the best way to revise the underlined portion of sentence 11 (reproduced below)?
This meant that voters had to remember it and
write it on the ballot in order to vote for him.
a. This meant that they had to remember it
and write
b. This meant that voters had to remember his
name and write
c. This meant that voters have been remembering it and write
d. This meant that voters had to remember it
and wrote
e. This meant that voters remembered it
and wrote
108
Unfortunately
Because
Unknowingly
However
Clearly
(1) The vast majority of schools entered the hightech age years ago by installing computers throughout their libraries. (2) They also placed them in their
classrooms. (3) All administrative offices were
equipped with computer systems as well. (4) The
new trend, however, is taking this one step further at
an innovative school in Arizona, which is providing
an all new way for students to do their homework.
(5) They provide them with their own laptop!
(6) Instead of using money to buy all new textbooks for Empire High School, laptop computers
were bought by the administration with the funds.
(7) The teachers commonly select educational materials on the Internet for students to consult to complete homework assignments. (8) To make the
laptops feel more personal, students are allowed to
store their own music collections on them.
(9) Instead of handing in reports and homework on paper, these Arizona students just e-mail it
into their individual teachers. (10) So much for that
old excuse that the dog ate your homework!
38. In context, which of the following represents

the best way to revise and combine sentences
1, 2, and 3 (reproduced below)?
36. In context, which of the following is the best way

to revise sentence 5 (reproduced below)?
They provide them with their own laptop!
a. They provide the student with their own laptops!
b. The school provides them with their
own laptops!
c. The students provide them with our
own laptops!
d. The school provides the students with the
own laptop!
e. The school provides each of the students with
his or her own laptop!
37. In context, which of the following is the best way
to revise sentence 6 (reproduced below)?
Instead of using money to buy all new textbooks
for Empire High School, laptop computers were
bought by the administration with the funds.
a. Instead of using money to buy all new
textbooks for Empire High School, the
funds were used by the administration
to buy laptop computers.
b. Instead of using money to buy all new textbooks, laptop computers were bought with
the money by the administration for Empire
High School.
c. Laptop computers were bought by the
administration with the funds that were
supposed to go to buy all new textbooks
for Empire High School.
d. Instead of using money to buy all new textbooks
for Empire High School, the administration
used the funds to purchase laptop computers.
e. Empire High School administration took
the money for buying all new textbooks and
instead they used it to buy laptop computers.
109
The vast majority of schools entered the high-tech

age years ago by installing computers throughout
their libraries. They also placed them in their
classrooms. All administrative offices were
equipped with computer systems as well.
a. The vast majority of schools entered the hightech age years ago by installing computers
throughout their libraries and in their
classrooms and lastly, in their administrative
offices as well.
b. The vast majority of schools entered the hightech age years ago by installing computers
throughout their libraries and classrooms
and they equipped all of the administrative
offices too.
c. The vast majority of schools entered the hightech age years ago by installing computers
throughout their libraries, classrooms, and
administrative offices.
d. The vast majority of schools entered the hightech age by installing computers in libraries,
classrooms, and offices for the administration.
e. The vast majority of schools entered the hightech age years ago by installing, throughout
their libraries, classrooms and administrative
offices, computers.
39. Which of the following best describes the purpose of the first paragraph?
a. to explain how the students do their homework
on computers
b. to point out how schools have entered the
computer age
c. to demonstrate where the money for the
computers came from
d. to show how the students make the computers
their own
e. to discuss how teachers use online sites for
homework help
40. This passage discusses everything EXCEPT
a. the different ways students can carry
their laptops.
b. the role of computers in modern high schools.
c. the ways teachers can utilize websites
for teaching.
d. the new method of e-mailing in
homework assignments.
e. the innovative teaching methods at Empire
High School.
(1) In a day and age where storytelling is beginning
to be considered one of the lost arts and keeping
records means booting up instead of write down,
families may find themselves wondering how to create and preserving their genealogy. (2) Perhaps they
want to just save the family stories or trace the most
recent generations. (3) Others might want to explore
their families role in history or just put something
together to commemorate an anniversary or other
important event. (4) Putting together a family tree
may sound like a great idea, but how do you even
begin to make the first step, and how can it be a total
family project?
(5) Investigating the many different people
who came before you is a multilayered task that
110
involves asking questions and doing research. (6) It

also takes combing through real and virtual archives.
(7) Perhaps even a field trip or two to places like
cemeteries. (8) After all, a graveyard is really like a
museum without walls since it contains fascinating
historical artifacts that are hundreds of years old, all
in the form of gravestones. (9) Cemeteries are not the
scary places that many horror films try to convey.
(10) Another great source are the census
records that can be found on the Internet. (11)
Often, you find out more than just birth and death
records. (12) Resources for information include
National Archives, as well as local family records.
(13) Your local library can connect you with basic
genealogy guidebooks and reference books as well.
(14) Make sure not to overlook one of the best
resources of allyour family. (15) Grandparents,
uncles, aunts, and cousins are often wonderful
sources of stories, traditions, facts, and other helpful information. (16) Taking the time to talk to them
about this can bring all of you closeranother side
benefit from a project like this one.
41. Which is the best revision of sentence 10 (reproduced below)?
Another great source are the census records that
can be found on the Internet.
a. Another great source is the census records that
can be found on the Internet.
b. Another great source was the census records
that can be found on the Internet.
c. Another great source are the census records
that will be found on the Internet.
d. Another great source is the census records that
are be found on the Internet.
e. Another great sources were the census records
that can be found on the Internet.
43. Which is the best way to combine sentences 5, 6,


In a day and age where storytelling is beginning
to be considered one of the lost arts and keeping
records means booting up instead of write down,
families may find themselves wondering how to
create and preserving their genealogy.
Investigating the many different people who came

before you is a multilayered task that involves
asking questions and doing research. It also takes
combing through real and virtual archives. Perhaps
even a field trip or two to places like cemeteries.
a. In a day and age where storytelling is beginning to be considered one of the lost arts
and keeping records means boot up instead
of write down, families may find themselves
wondering how to create and preserve
their genealogy.
b. In a day and age where storytelling is beginning to be considered one of the lost arts and
keep records means booting up instead of
writing down, families may find themselves
wonderful how to creating and preserving
their genealogy.
c. In a day and age where storytelling is beginning to be considered one of the lost arts and
keeping records means booting up instead of
writing down, families may find themselves
wondering how to create and preserve their
genealogy.
d. In a day and age where storytelling is beginning to be considered one of the lost arts and
kept records means boot up instead of write
down, families may found themselves wondering how to create and preserve their genealogy.
e. In a day and age where storytelling began to
be considered one of the lost arts and keeping
records means booting up instead of writing
down, families may find themselves wondering how to create and preserve their genealogy.
a. Investigating the many different people who

came before you is a multilayered task that
involves asking questions, doing research,
combing through real and virtual archives,
and a field trip or two to places like cemeteries.
b. Investigating the many different people who
and even taking a field trip or two to places
like cemeteries.
c. Investigating the many different people who
is involving asking questions, doing research,
and even taking a field trip or two to places
like cemeteries.
d. Investigating the many different people who
involves ask questions, do research, comb
through real and virtual archives, and take
a field trip or two to places like cemeteries.
e. Investigate the many different people who
combing through real and virtual archives
and taking a field trip or two to places
like cemeteries.
111

44. To improve the coherence of paragraph 2,

which of the following sentences would be
the best to delete?
a. sentence 4
b. sentence 7
c. sentence 9
d. sentence 12
e. sentence 14
Taking the time to talk to them about this can

bring all of you closeranother side benefit from a
project like this one.
a. Taking the time to talk to them about this can
bring all of them closeranother side benefit
from a project like this one.
b. Taking the time to talk to them about family
stories can bring all of you closeranother
side benefit from a project like this one.
c. Taking the time to talk to us about family stories can bring us all closeranother side benefit from a project like this one.
d. Taking the time to talk to you about this can
bring all of you closeranother side benefit
e. Taking the time to talk to everyone about stuff
can bring all of you closeranother side benefit from a project like this one.
45. Which of the following sentences is most in need

of further support and development?
a. Others might want to explore their families
role in history or just put something together
to commemorate an anniversary or other
important event.
b. Your local library can connect you with basic
genealogy guidebooks and reference books
as well.
c. Make sure not to overlook one of the best
resources of allyour family.
d. Often, you find out more than just birth and
death records.
e. Taking the time to talk to them about this can
bring all of you closeranother side benefit
Answers
1. b. This is a revision question. It takes one of the

awkward sentences from the essay and asks you
to figure out how to correct any mistakes in it.
In this sentence, the description of the Chunnel
is at the end of the sentence instead of next to
what it is describing. Choices a, c, d, and e are
all wordy and awkward. Only choice b eliminates extra words and moves the descriptive
phrase where it belongs.
2. c. This sentence fragment is missing the necessary verb. The other choices move the words
around but do not provide the required verb
to form a complete sentence.
112
3. e. This is a sentence combining question. Your

job is to figure out the best way to combine
three sentences into one in order to more
accurately express the sentences meaning.
Choices a and d are wordy; choice b is a
run-on sentence; and choice c makes no
sense. Only choice e retains all necessary
information in a more efficient manner.
4. d. This is a content question. It is asking about a
section of the essay; in this case, the question
asks about the second paragraph. You need to
figure out what the main idea of the second
paragraph is. Choices a, b, and c are main
5. a.
6. b.
7. c.
8. d.
9. e.
10. a.
ideas of the first paragraph, and choice e is the

main idea of the last paragraph.
You are being asked how to tie the information
together. Choice b deals with cost, which is
covered in another section of the essay.
Choice c is irrelevant to the information
covered in the essay. Choice d belongs
earlier in the essay. Choice e is truthful
information but not relevant to the essay.
The dependent clause at the beginning of
this sentence needs an introductory word to
make it complete, but the word has to show
the relationship between the clause and the
rest of the sentence. Meanwhile implies a
time relationship, which does not apply.
However and nonetheless imply contrast,
which also does not apply. Fortunately
implies good news, and does not work for
this sentence. Only because fits; this word
explains why a different strategy is needed.
This question requires you to put together
three sentences into one grammatically correct
sentence without losing the original meanings.
Choice a is a run-on sentence. Choice b uses
the wrong pronouns. Choice d does not make
sense, and choice e is wordy and contains
unnecessary information.
This is a case of a misplaced modifier. The
phrase underneath the hidden door is describing where the spider is hiding, not the vibration. Choice a does not repair this, choice b
makes no sense, choice c has the wrong verb
tense, and choice e is a sentence fragment.
This is a content question, and you have to
decide where the information best fits into the
essay overall. This information better fits at
the end of the essay, following sentence 10.
This content question singles out a specific
paragraph and asks you to figure out its main
idea. In this case, the paragraph focused on a
very detailed and specific process of separating
different materials, not on how the Curies
113
11. b.
12. e.
13. c.
14. b.
15. d.
16. c.
17. e.
18. e.
19. c.
met, how they discovered uranium, what can be

made with radium, or how to find pitchblende.
This question is tricky; you have a lot of
information to put together and in a logical
order. Only choice b does this correctly.
This content question asks you to remove the
unnecessary sentence. Choices a, b, c, and d
are all relevant to each other. Choice e, however, contains unnecessary extra information.
This is a pronoun reference problem. Them
refers to two nouns from the previous sentence.
Choice a is a run-on sentence. Choice c has a
dependent clause introduced by although, which
does not fit with the coordinating conjunction
but. Choice d has a problem with wordiness
and verb tense, and choice e is confusing and
loses the sentences original meaning.
The biggest problem in this statement is the
word stuff. It is a poor word choice because it is
too general. Choices a and b dont change this
word. Choices c and e change the meaning of
the original sentence. By replacing stuff with
decorate, the sentence is much more precise.
Here, you need to pinpoint the main point of
the entire essay. Although choices a, b, d, and
e were all in the essay, they were supporting
details instead of the main point.
To answer this, you have to go back and reread
sentence 10 to identify the subject. In this case,
the subject is what kind of theme you want for
your scrapbook.
Once again, you are identifying which sentence must be deleted. The one that clearly
does not belong is choice e because it shifts
from you to I.
The sentence, as written, is confusing.
There are several pronouns without clear
antecedents, which must be clarified. Choice b
misplaces the confusion caused by teachers.
Choices a and d are unnecessarily wordy, as
is choice e. Only choice c expresses the
authors intention clearly and concisely.
20. d. These two sentences have three essential ideas,

all of which need to be conveyed clearly and
concisely. The phrase in the second sentence
until you get into it is problematic, in that
theres no clear antecedent to it. Choices b
and c repeat this ambiguity. Choice d clearly
makes idea the antecedent of it. Choice e is
unnecessarily wordy and also fails to clearly
establish the antecedent of it.
21. e. The problem with the underlined portion of the
sentence is that there is vague, with an unclear
antecedent. By calling fastwriting a technique,
you clarify the concept as well as the sentence.
Choice b is needlessly wordy and repetitive.
Choices a and c does not correct the unclear
reference problem, nor does choice d, which
also suffers from stuffy hypercorrectness that
doesnt mesh with the overall tone.
22. c. The primary problem with this sentence is
that the antecedent of which is unclear. As
written, the sentence makes creativity sound
like an undesirable quality in writing. The
word but, however, makes it clear that this is
not the authors intention. None of the other
answer choices addresses this problem.
23. b. The error here is the pronoun in the underlined part of the sentence. The noun is horses,
which is plural, but the pronoun used is singular. The pronoun should be changed to their.
24. d. If the noun was Lipizanner, you would need
the plural verb are. However, the noun is trick,
which is singular, so you need the verb is.
25. e. This sentence contains verb tense problems.
The only choice that gets both verb forms
correct is choice e.
26. a. This content question asks you to identify
the main idea of the essays second paragraph. The essay does provide background,
but in another paragraph. The different
tricks are not listed, and a performance is
mentioned but not described. Brief history is
27. e.
28. b.
29. c.
30. a.
31. d.
32. a.
33. b.
34. c.
114
given, but not extensive history. The correct

answer is choice a.
This is another type of content question where
it would be best to insert some additional information. In choices a, b, c, and d, the suggested
extra information is unnecessary and not
related to the rest of the essay strongly enough.
This is a run-on sentence, because it is two
complete sentences put together without proper
punctuation or conjunctions. The conjunction
so does not work in the sentence, as in choice a.
Choice c only adds a comma, so it is still a runon sentence. Choice d is still a run-on sentence.
Choice e, which adds however, implies a contrast
and does not fit with the rest of the sentence.
This question is asking you to combine three
sentences into one. It is easy to become too
wordy as in choices a, b, d, and e. Only choice
c takes out unnecessary words and retains the
sentences original meaning.
This content question is asking you to improve
the coherence and organization of the essay by
adding another sentence to move from one
paragraph to the next. To make sure you have
made the correct choice, you have to reread the
sentences around it. The only one of the five
choices that relates to the topic of finding
things to decorate your locker with is choice a.
In this revision question, the problem is the pronoun. The essay has been using the pronoun you
and suddenly switches to one and the pronoun
their. Only choice d corrects both pronouns to
keep them in line with the rest of the essay.
The key to combining these three sentences is
keeping the verbs parallel throughout, as in
choice a. The verbs all need to end in -ing.
This is an example of a vague pronoun that
impedes meaning. The pronoun it needs to be
replaced with the words his name.
You need to have an idea of what this
entire essay is about to answer this question
correctly. It is not an essay on how to get
35. d.
36. e.
37. d.
38. c.
39. b.
40. a.
elected or what life is like in Hillsdale. It does

not list the ways Sessions beat the incumbent.
Although a summer job is mentioned, it is not
mentioned in detail to show how he financed
the campaign.
You need to reread the sentences, so you
understand the relationship among them. The
only answer choice that shows that relationship correctly uses however to show contrast.
The problem in this sentence is an indefinite
pronoun. The combination of they, them, and
their in the sentence is confusing. Only choice
e replaces the pronouns to make the sentence
more understandable.
The introductory clause in this sentence is
about the administration, not about the
computers. Choice a does not repair this; it
just repeats the problem by putting the word
funds where the word computers was. Choice b
also repeats the original problem. Choice c is
confusing, and choice e is awkward.
There are a lot of extra words in these three
sentences and most of these words need to be
eliminated in order to make the sentence read
smoothly and clearly.
Here, you have to figure out the overall message
of the first paragraph. All the other choices are
about topics that are found in other sections of
the essay.
This question is testing you to see if you can
pinpoint the one topic that is not covered
41. a.
42. c.
43. b.
44. c.
45. d.
46. b.
115
anywhere in the essay. In this case, the only

one that is not mentioned is choice a.
The problem with this sentence is subject-verb
agreement. It is easy to think that the subject is
records, which is plural, but the subject of the
sentence is really source, which is singular.
There are a lot of verb tenses in this statement.
You have to carefully choose the choice that
maintains the correct verb tense throughout
the sentence.
You have to make sure all the verbs are the same
tense and parallel throughout this sentence.
This content question asks you to pick the
sentence that does not belong in the essay.
The only sentence that veers off topic is about
cemeteries in scary movies. The rest of the
choices are all relevant and relate directly to
the main idea.
Here, you need to find out what statement
in the essay is not expanded on enough; it is
lacking in specifics and the essay would be
stronger by adding more details. In this case,
the best solution is choice d. Although this
choice mentions finding more than just birth
and death records, it stops there. It does not
say what else you might find.
This is a case of an indefinite pronoun. Choice b
is the only answer choice that clarifies the pronouns to make the sentence understandable.
C H A P T E R
Responding to
Quotation
Prompts
When you take the essay portion of the SAT, you should construct a
strong point of view, convey your ideas in coherent order, and implement accurate language.
ou will be required to write your essay on the lines provided on your answer sheet, and no additional
paper will be distributed. To ensure that you have enough space for your essay, do not use wide margins and keep your handwriting to a reasonable size. Remember to write legibly for the trained high
school and college teachers who will be scoring your essay.
When answering the practice writing prompts in this chapter, give yourself about 25 minutes, which is how
much time you will have during the actual SAT. Be careful not to write on another topic when answering these
prompts; during the SAT, an off-topic essay will be given a score of zero.
117
RESPONDING TO QUOTATION PROMPTS
4. If you have made mistakes . . . there is always

another chance for you . . . you may have a fresh
start any moment you choose, for this thing we call
failure is not the falling down, but the staying
down. Mary Pickford
1. Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes.

Art is knowing which ones to keep. Scott Adams
Assignment: What is your opinion on the
relationship between mistakes and creativity?
Plan your response and support your position
with specific points and examples from your
observations, studies, reading, or personal
experiences.
Assignment: How can a person use failure to

improve his or her life? Plan your response
and support your position with specific points
and examples from your observations, studies,
reading, or personal experiences.
2. Even if smog were a risk to human life, we must

remember that life in nature, without technology,
is wholesale death. Ayn Rand
5. Until you have learned to be tolerant with those

who do not always agree with you; until you have
cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of
those whom you do not admire; until you have
formed the habit of looking for the good instead
of the bad there is in others, you will be neither
successful nor happy. Napoleon Hill
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but

the push-button finger. Frank Lloyd Wright
Assignment: Consider the two contrasting
statements. Choose the quotation that most
closely reflects your viewpoint. Write an essay
that explains your choice. Plan your response
Assignment: Are these the elements you need

to be able to achieve happiness and success?
experiences.
3. I didnt belong as a kid and that always bothered

me. If only Id known that one day my differentness
would be an asset, then my early life would have
been much easier. Bette Midler
6. In one of his most famous lines, Shakespeares

Hamlet says, I must be cruel, only to be kind.
Assignment: Do situations exist where an
individual must be cruel in order to be kind?
experiences.
Assignment: How do you view things that

are different around you in your life? Plan
your response and support your position
with specific points and examples from
your observations, studies, reading, or
personal experiences.
118
10. The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to

hate them, but to be indifferent to them; thats the
essence of inhumanity. George Bernhard Shaw
7. You can make more friends in two months by

becoming interested in other people than you can
in two years by trying to get other people interested
in you. Dale Carnegie
Assignment: Can being indifferent toward

others affect them in negative ways? Plan
Assignment: Is Carnegies idea the best way to

make friends? Plan your response and support
your position with specific points and examples from your observations, studies, reading,
or personal experiences.
11. To be nobody but yourselfin a world which is

doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody elsemeans to fight the hardest battle which
any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. E.E. Cummings
8. I know youve heard it a thousand times before.

But its truehard work pays off. If you want to
be good, you have to practice, practice, practice.
If you dont love something, then dont do it.
Ray Bradbury
Assignment: Is being yourself a challenge in

todays world? Plan your response and support
Assignment: Is it possible in todays society to

only spend your time doing something you
enjoy? Plan your response and support your
position with specific points and examples
from your observations, studies, reading, or
12. There are three kinds of death in this world.

Theres heart death, theres brain death, and
theres being off the network. Guy Almes
9. How far you go in life depends on your being

tender with the young, compassionate with the
aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant
of the weak and the strong. Because someday in
life you will have been all of these.
George Washington Carver
Id wipe the machines off the face of the earth

again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely,
like a black mistake. D.H. Lawrence
Assignment: How can relating to someone

cause you to go far in life? Plan your response
119
13. Thomas Edison, the renowned inventor, is

famous for having said, Genius is one percent
inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.
Assignment: Do you agree with this definition
of genius? Plan your response and support
14. Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldnt be
able to fly, but the bumble bee doesnt know it,
so it goes on flying anyway. Mary Kay Ash
Assignment: What does this imply about the
bee? How does this information then apply
to people in general? Plan your response and
support your position with specific points
16. I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy

is a necessary ingredient in living; its a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.
Which is what I do, and that enables you to
laugh at lifes realities. Dr. Suess
Assignment: Are fantasy and nonsense necessary elements in daily life? Plan your response
17. Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself
into some work you believe in with all your
heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find
happiness that you had thought could never
be yours. Dale Carnegie
Assignment: Do you agree or disagree that
this is the best solution to boredom? Plan your
response and support your position with specific points and examples from your observations, studies, reading, or personal
experiences.
15. Courage is not the absence of fear but the mastery

of it. Mark Twain
Feel the fearand do it anyway. Susan Jeffers

18. People are always blaming their circumstances

for what they are. I do not believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in this world are the people
who get up and look for the circumstances they
want, and if they cannot find them, make them.
George Bernard Shaw
Assignment: Can people create their own personal circumstances or are they at the mercy of
those circumstances? Plan your response and
support your position with specific points and
examples from your observations, studies,
120
19. Alexander Smith said, The great man is the man

who does a thing for the first time.
Assignment: Do you agree with this definition
of greatness? Plan your response and support
20. The inventor and statesman Benjamin Franklin
said, Money never made a man happy yet, nor
will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce
happiness.
6 points
Demonstrates outstanding writing skills
Includes a clear and insightful point of view
and reflects excellent critical thinking, using
strong examples and other evidence to support the point of view
Contains strong organization and focus, a
sense of unity, and a skillful flow of ideas
Demonstrates a strong command of language,
with varied and appropriate word choice and
meaningful variation in sentence structure
Contains few, if any, errors in grammar, usage,
and mechanics
Assignment: Can money produce happiness?

experiences.
score. Scores range from a low of 1 (showing writing

incompetence) to a maximum of 6 (demonstrating
clear and consistent competence). The graders will
focus on the strength of your argument. In addition to
looking for this content, the graders will be paying
attention to your writing style.
A modified copy of the grading guidelines follows:
Scoring Guide and Sample

Essays
As the expert graders score your paper, they will be

grading it holistically. This means that rather than
using a point system that awards you a certain number
of points for each component, they will be looking at
your response as a whole and awarding it a score. However, as they determine that overall score, the graders
will be focusing on four areas: meaning (content),
development (support), organization (flow of ideas),
and language use or mechanics (grammar).
Although a specific point value is not assigned for
each component, these are the areas that will be
assessed and considered when the grader arrives at a
121
5 points
Demonstrates effective writing skills
Includes a clear point of view and reflects strong
critical thinking, using effective examples and
other evidence to support the point of view
Contains strong organization and focus, a
sense of unity, and a flow of ideas
Demonstrates a good command of language,
with appropriate word choice and variation in
sentence structure
Contains few errors in grammar, usage,
and mechanics
4 points
Demonstrates competent writing skills, but
the quality of the writing may be inconsistent
Includes a point of view and reflects competent critical thinking, using sufficient
examples to support the point of view
Contains a general organizational plan and
focus, with some unity and flow of ideas
Demonstrates a sufficient but inconsistent
command of language, with mostly appropriate word choice and some variation in
sentence structure
Contains some errors in grammar, usage,
and mechanics
2 points
Demonstrates limited writing skills and may
contain serious flaws
Includes a limited or vague point of view
and reflects poor critical thinking, using inadequate or irrelevant examples or other support
Displays a weak sense of organization and/or
focus, and may lack unity and/or flow of ideas
Demonstrates an inadequate command of
language, with limited or incorrect vocabulary,
and incorrect or flawed sentence structure
Contains serious errors in grammar, usage,
and/or mechanics that may make the writing
difficult to understand
3 points
Demonstrates inadequate but not incompetent
writing skills
Includes a point of view that reflects some
critical thinking, but the point of view may be
inconsistent or incomplete, and support may
be lacking
Contains a limited organizational strategy and
focus, with a weak or inconsistent sense of
unity and flow of ideas
Demonstrates a developing but weak command
of language, with weak or inappropriate vocabulary, little or no variation in sentence structure,
and may contain errors in sentence construction
Contains many errors in grammar, usage,
and mechanics
1 point
Demonstrates incompetence in writing and
contains serious flaws
Does not contain a point of view, or provides
little or no support for the point of view
Lacks organization and/or focus, unity, and a
flow of ideas
Contains serious errors in vocabulary and sentence structure
Contains serious errors in grammar, usage,
and/or mechanics that make the writing difficult to understand
0 points
An essay that does not address the prompt or
is blank receives a zero.
(Adapted from The College Board)
122
Sample Essays
student, not athletic enough to be a jock, and not

wild enough to be a radical. It was a very lost and
alone feeling and I felt almost a primitive level drive to
change myself in some way so that I could merge with
one of these groups. Instead, I found that there are
a lot of us not that beautiful/smart/athletic/wild
kids in school. These people are now my best friends.
My differentness is not even apparent when I am
with them because we all share that trait in one
aspect or another. It has taught me that differentness is not right or wrong; it just is! Now I just hope
that one day, like Midler, we will look back on our high
school days and see just how our differentness
made us the unique, special, and wonderful adults
we are becoming.
3. I didnt belong as a kid and that always bothered

me. If only Id known that one day my differentness
would be an asset, then my early life would have
been much easier. Bette Midler
Assignment: How do you view things that
are different around you in your life? Plan
Score 6 Essay
More than 50 years ago, psychologist Abraham
Maslow created what he called a hierarchy of needs.
It was a pyramid representation of what human
beings needed most in life, in order from the most
important to the least. Obviously, the most important needs are the ones people have to have to
survive, such as air, food, water, and shelter. Beyond
that, however, was the need to belong and fit in with
others. It is a powerful drive in humans and nowhere
is that made clearer than in the typical high school,
where differentness, as Midler calls it, is a curse.
I see differentness all the time in the school
hallways and often, it carries a burden of unacceptance along with it. The kids that dont fit in because
of their clothes, their background, or their behavior
commonly struggle to mesh with the other students surrounding them. Others will go the opposite
direction, fighting to be as unlike the average student as possible. Of course, when enough of them do
that, they all find that suddenly, they belong to a
group, albeit a group of misfits.
When I first started high school, I was keenly
aware of my own differentness and how it made it
increasingly difficult to fit in with the groups that I
wanted to be a part of. I was not beautiful enough to
be a cheerleader, not smart enough to be an honors
Scoring evaluation: The student has a strong opinion on

this issue and makes his or her points quite clear in an
introduction, body, and conclusion format. Vocabulary
use is very strong, and the use of the Maslow example
ties in powerfully with the message in the essay. His or
her personal examples also make each point stronger,
and spelling and grammar are all error-free.
Score 5 Essay
I firmly believe that it is our differentness that
makes us special. Even though being different is
frowned upon in high school, I think that if we can
hang on to our unique traits now, we will find, as
Midler says, that later in life it is those very traits
that will serve us best.
There is a strong push in our society, especially
evident in high schools, toward conformity. If someone wears something outrageous to school, it is all
everyone talks about. The student who doesnt like the
same music as everyone else listens to, who eats
weird things in the cafeteria, or who doesnt appear
to have any interest in dating anyone on the football team/cheerleaders, is automatically suspect.
I am one of those nonconformists, I believe.
Although I do not take it to the extreme like those
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students with dyed hair, multiple piercings, and

nothing but black in their closets, I still am aware
that I dont fit in with most of the people in my class.
I would rather stay home with my family and go to
one of the local museums than hang out at the
mall. I am taller than most girls, but I am remotely
athletic-minded. If I get some spare time between
school and homework, I will usually pick up a sketchbook rather than a fashion magazine. My weekends
are spent volunteering at the animal shelter and my
favorite place to go is the arboretum just after
they change the displays. Right now, this behavior
labels me weird but I think that perhaps one day
that will change and the label will read fascinating.
Scoring evaluation: Although this is slightly shorter than
the first essay, it is still quite strong. The examples are all
good and relate directly to the test question. Vocabulary
is good, and there are no spelling or grammar errors.
Score 4 Essay
Everybody is different in one way or another and
that is the way it should be. A few months ago, I saw
an old Twilight Zone episode that was supposed to
take place in the future. In it, everyone looked the
same. If you happened to look different, you were
forced to have surgery. It made you look like the others. That was their definition of beauty. It was really
interesting. I do not think that it was too impossible either. Its not a far-fetched idea for our culture
at all.
Being different is natural but it is rarely easy. I
find that I tend to hide my differentness from most
people. I only feel like I can be myself when I am at
home or with my two best friends. The other time, I
try really hard just to be like everyone else. If you
dont do this, people talk about you and I dont want
that to happen to me.
Bette Midler says that it was her differentness that helped her become the famous person
she is today. I have seen her on television and I bet
she is right. Her looks are not typical and I bet her
behavior wasnt either. Yet, today, those traits help
to succeed. Perhaps that will happen to me too and
the differentness that I have today will make me a
more successful adult. I sure do like the idea.
Scoring evaluation: There is not a huge amount of
development here, but the examples given are relevant. The sentence variety is limited with a lot of
choppy sentences that could be improved. However, the
student did a decent job of answering the question,
providing some personal experiences for support and
then bringing it to a conclusion by referring back to the
original quote.
Score 3 Essay
Being different is just weird, I think. I mean, I see all
these kids in school who are always trying to look
different and they just come off looking stupid.
What is the big deal about what you put on your
body? Why does it have to carry some stupid brand
name on it? I dont even pay attention to that stuff.
Never have. I just get up and get dressed in whatever is clean.
Fitting in in high school is not easy, no matter
what you do or wear, in my opinion. If you work hard
to be different, it is even worse, in my opinion. I just
try to keep my mouth shut, do my homework and get
thru the day. I dont want to rock the boat and
have people pay extra attention to me for anything.
Being different gets attention. Dont want that. I will
just stay quiet and wait until graduation. Thats my
opinion on it.
Scoring evaluation: There is a sincere attempt to answer
the question here, but it gets lost somewhere along the
way (perhaps in between all of those my opinion
remarks). There is very little support for any points the
student tries to make, and there are a number of fragments and usage errors.
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Score 2 Essay
Everybody is different in some way or another. It is
just part of life. Like snowflakes, you know? They
are all different. That is what makes them pretty. At
least, in my opinion. If we all looked and acted and
talked and dressed and did the same things it
would be boring, dont you think? So yes, different is
good like in that old Burger King commershul.
Remember that one?
For the last five years I have gone to a variety

of camps. Some of them were church sponsored,
while others had to do with Girl Scouts, 4-H, and
Camp Fire Girls. Each time I would go hoping to
make many new friends and each year, I came home
disappointed. I had met some interesting people
but no one that I truly connected with on a deep
level. This past summer, that changed and it was all
because of something my Grandma asked me. She
drove me to camp and on the way asked me if I had
any friends who also were attending. I explained my
past failures at making those friends and she
turned to me and asked a simple question: When
you meet someone new, what do you say to them?
I stumbled around and finally said that I told them
about what movies and music I liked, what my school
was like, and other details about me. Grandma
chuckled and said, Thats no way to make friends.
Why dont you ask them what movies and music
they like? I didnt know what to say. I had never even
considered asking them questions before I introduced myself, but the idea had possibilities so I
thought Id try it.
What a difference it made! By approaching
other girls at the camp and asking them simple
questions (anything from where did you get that
cute t-shirt to why dont you like mustard), they
wanted to talk to me. It wasnt long before we were
immersed in a conversation about each other and
Mr. Carnegies quote came true. If only we take the
time to show interest in others, friendship cannot
be far behind.
Scoring evaluation: There are some things that could

be used as a theme here, but the student drops them
without any development. An opinion is listed
but not supported, and then the student veered off
topic completely.
Score 1 Essay
Feeling different. Not so bad. I feel it sumtimes.
Dont care if I do. Its ok. Theyre are diffrent peopel
everywhere. So what? Not right or wrong, just is.
Scoring evaluation: There is virtually nothing to redeem
this essay other than the student did answer the test
question. There are multiple errors that make it very
hard to understand.
7. You can make more friends in two months by
becoming interested in other people than you
can in two years by trying to get other people
interested in you. Dale Carnegie
Assignment: Is Carnegies idea the best way to
make friends? Plan your response and support
Score 6 Essay
Although I have never read this quote by Mr.
Carnegie before, I have to say that I agree with it
100%. A year ago I might not have felt this way, but
a recent event changed that.
Scoring evaluation: This is a simple, but well-done essay.

Although there are no profound vocabulary words and
the sentence structure is fairly typical, the student does
a great job of linking her personal experience with
answering the question. The support is clear and
understandable, and the format of introduction, body,
and conclusion is very strong.
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Score 5 Essay
I agree with Mr. Carnegies statement but I think
that it goes further than that. I believe that making friends is an important part of life that takes
skill and dedication to maintain.
When I was in junior high, I was best friends
with a girl named Molly. We did everything together,
from sleepovers every weekend to signing up for the
same summer art classes. We were inseparable and
I thought we would stay that way for the rest of our
lives. Unfortunately, high school disrupted those
plans. During our first year, Molly joined the track
team and suddenly, my closest friend was a complete stranger. She changed the way she talked,
dressed, ate and acted so that she was just like the
other girls on the team. We no longer appeared to
have anything in common. I knew that she was doing
these things in order to fit in with the other girls and
be accepted by them and while I could understand
her motives, I did not share them. Our friendship
faded away quickly and today, Molly doesnt even
acknowledge me when she sees me at school.
Although Molly is far more popular than I am in
school now, I dont mind. I have spent my time cultivating two girls who are truly my best friends. We
do everything together and throughout all of it, we
are ourselves. We take a sincere interest in each
others interests while we maintain our individual
uniqueness. To me, that is the key to real friendship.
Scoring evaluation: This is another strong essay, although
it tends to ramble a little bit more than it should. The
grammar and spelling are excellent, and the personal
illustration supports the original test question. The three
parts (introduction, body, and conclusion) are easy to
see, and the sentence structure has good variety.
Score 4 Essay
In my personal opinion, I think that Mr. Dale Carnegie
is exactly right about friendship. If you want to
make friends, the key is to be interested in them and
not the other way around. It makes sense. It probably works. I think I will try it sometime myself.
I recently went to a meeting with my mom and
she put this suggestion into action right in front of
me. She had been put in charge of the committee to
raise money for repairing part of the library. She did
not know anyone else on the committee. She was
really nervous too. She was not sure what to say to
them. She started by just reading the mission
statement and other boring stuff. Then, she did
something amazing. She stopped and asked each
person to introduce him or herself to the rest of the
group. With each person, she asked questions. They
all lit up when she did that. She asked about their
hobbies and jobs and other stuff. By the time everyone had done it, everyone was smiling and chatting. I told her she did a great job later.
I think what my mom did was exactly what Mr.
Carnegie was recommending. It sure worked for her.
In conclusion, I think that Mr. Carnegie was right and
my mom was brilliant.
Scoring evaluation: This essay has some really good
points. The example used to support the students opinion is vivid and relevant. There is a definite introduction,
body, and conclusion to the essay. The biggest flaws are lack
of sentence variety and too much repetition.
Score 3 Essay
I can appreceate Mr. Carneigs advice but I dont
know that I agree with it. If you are too interested
in another person and ask them a lot of questions
and stuff, you might have the cops called on you for
harassing them. Maybe they will think you are a
stalker or something. Scary stuff for sure.
Making friends, in my opinion, is all about finding out what you has in common. I like to play baseball and so does most of my friends, for example. I
also like to fiddle around with ham radios and Ive
met some great guys in the local ham radio club. I
met my best friend while we were both looking at
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graphic novels down at my favorite store. We like the

same series which is The Sandman by Neil Gaiman.
It has amazing stories of demons and wizards and
other stuff in it.
Maybe I should learn to ask others about themselves more but then, I dont want the police after
me, so maybe not. I think I will stick to the friends I
already have. Other people can give Carngies idea
a try.
Carnegie got it good, I think. Agree with him.

Freinds is just sumthin you got to have to make life
more fun, ya know?
Scoring evaluation: As with most low scoring essays, this
one is so riddled with errors that it is difficult to read.
There are incomplete sentences, spelling errors, verb
tense errors, and slang. There is no sense of organization and no examples to support an opinion.
9. How far you go in life depends on your being
tender with the young, compassionate with
the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and
tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because
someday in life you will have been all of these.
George Washington Carver
Scoring evaluation: This student answers the question

and provides a personal experience example for support. A portion of the example is completely off topic,
which hurts the essay as a whole. He also has verb tense
and agreement errors, as well as spelling issues.
Score 2 Essay
I dont have a lot of friends. Wish I did though. Maybe
I should stop talking about me and ask about them
like that man Carnegie said in the quote on this test
question. When me and my frinds get together
though, we just dont do that much talking. We play
some Playstation games and sometimes we go out
and shoot some hoops. Talking is pretty rare.
Is that wrong? I dont know. Maybe I could try it.
So, in conclusion and to summarize, I think that
Carnegie was on the right track on the frend thing.
I will keep it in mind.
Scoring evaluation: The student does answer the question in a way, and yet, it is lost amid the errors and the
rambling about other things that do not tie to the main
question. Although an introduction and body are
primarily missing, he or she does try to put in a conclusion, although in a wordy and unnecessary way.
Score 1 Essay
Freinds are important. I have two good ones. Really
good. Talk about stuff. Rode bikes and stuff. Gotta
care bout the other one or it just dont work.
Assignment: How can relating to someone

cause you to go far in life? Plan your response
Score 6 Essay
There is an old saying that you should not begin to
judge a person until you have walked in their shoes.
In many ways, I think that this is what George Washington Carver was trying to say as well. It is important for all of us, as human beings, to be kind to
others in other circumstances, because eventually
we may find ourselves in this very same situation at
some time in our life.
Carver reminds us that it is essential that not
only are we gentle and compassionate to people
who are younger, older, or struggling, but that doing
so will influence what we achieve in the rest of our
lives. This certainly reminds me of the familiar karmic
saying of what goes around, comes around. In
other words, whatever you personally project out
into the world is what you will eventually get in
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return. If we are empathetic to others, then when we

are in need of kindness ourselves, it will be there one
way or another.
Some who read Carvers quote may think that
the phrase how far you go in life may refer to financial and/or professional success, but that is not
how I perceived it at all. Instead, I feel as if Carver was
trying to impart a more profound message: that
our behavior toward other people from all walks of life
is what will determine our own personal happiness.
If this is indeed true, then it will change how I look at
the entire world and perhaps that, after all, was
what Carver was trying to convey.
Scoring evaluation: This is a great example of a student
who is truly examining what a quote means. There is a
lot of thought put into what he or she writes, along with
great sentence variety; powerful supporting examples;
excellent grammar and vocabulary; and a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Score 5 Essay
George Washington Carvers quote is an amazing
philosophy to live by. I think that for anyone who lives
in a very large city like I do, it has special meaning.
Every single day I see homeless people standing on
the corners downtown. They come in all shapes,
sizes, and ages. They always look so sad and desolate that I look away because I dont know what
else to do. Homelessness is such a huge issue in our
city and it seems like no one has the right solution.
If I followed Carvers advice, however, perhaps
looking away would be the worst thing I could do.
Maybe, instead, I should take a moment to think
about what it must be like to be in a situation like
that and then respond with some kind of personal
action. I have read that the best thing to do is
donate some time to a homeless shelter or take in
some of the items they need most like blankets,
hats and gloves, and canned food. That would not be
too difficult to do and it could help a lot of people

who need it.
By taking the time to help those who are in
need, I might be able to help make the world a better place. If Carver is correct, it just might make me
a better human being with a brighter future as well.
Scoring evaluation: Although this is a shorter essay, it is
still very strong. The conclusion makes an obvious
connection back to the introduction and the quote.
The grammar, sentence structure, and vocabulary are
all strong.
Score 4 Essay
I think that Carver is telling us we need to be nice to
all kinds of people, the old, young, hurt, or weak. If we
do that, you can go further in life and do better. I am
not sure that is true, but it makes sense to me. I try
to be nice to people that I meet.
I take care of my younger siblings a lot. That
means I am nice to the younger. And to the weaker.
I visit my grandparents a couple of times a month.
I am always nice to them. I realize that I was once
young and one day, I will be old too and I try to keep
that in mind. Whether or not that will actually take
me further in life, I dont know but it helps me to
know that if I am nice to people now, then, hopefully,
people will treat me nicely in the future.
Scoring evaluation: This student is trying to answer the
question and does provide some supporting examples
from his or her perspective. There is not much sentence
variety and no outstanding vocabulary, but there is a
semblance of an introduction, body, and conclusion.
Score 3 Essay
I disagree with Carver. That has nothing to do with
how well you do in life. It may have to do with how
much people like you. But it dont matter otherwise.
How far you go in life is about work. Hard work. That
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is what my parents always tell me. So I work hard. I

go to school. I have a part-time job after school.
Being nice to old people and young people is
okay. I would not be meen. But I dont get what it has
to do with success in life. You cant put it on a
resume. Sure, some day you will be all those things.
So what? It all goes back to working hard. I will have
the money I need to take care of myself if I work hard
enough. Carver was probly a nice person but he was
all wrong about this one.
Scoring evaluation: This student definitely has an opinion on the matter and does use a little personal experience
to support it; however, that is about the only thing done
correctly. There are incomplete sentences; misspellings;
and no sense of introduction, body, or conclusion.
Score 2 Essay
Carver is telling people to be nice to each other.
Which is a great idea, by the way. I definitely agree
with him. Everyone should agree with an idea like this
one. He says be extra nice to old people and stuff like
that. I am alwys extra nice to my grandma. She
makes really good cookies too.
I guess he also says to be nice to little people
plus really weak people. Like babies, maybe. Everyone
knows that. Who would be mean to a baby? If you are,
you should be locked up forever. See, Carver said so.
Scoring evaluation: There is an attempt to answer the
question here, but there is little else that is good to say
about it. The student fills up space by repeating unnecessary information. There is virtually nothing to support his or her opinion and no sense of introduction,
body, or paragraph.
Score 1 Essay
I think hes tryin to say you better be nice. To everyone, yung, old, so on. If you dont, you will be really,
really sorry. Bad thingsll happen maybe. Carver was
a smart guy. He new his stuff. Who is he anyway?
Maybe I shud read something he wrote.
Scoring evaluation: The student actually did partially

answer the question, but goes off topic, has no support
or examples, and has no organization whatsoever.
14. Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldnt be able
to fly, but the bumble bee doesnt know it so it goes
on flying anyway. Mary Kay Ash
Assignment: What does this imply about the
bee? How does this information then apply to
people in general? Plan your response and
Score 6 Essay
I believe that this illustration of the bee is a
reminder to each and every one of us that we truly
can accomplish anything we want to in life as long as
we believe that we can. The bee flies, not because
nature designed it that way, but because it doesnt
know that it cant. In the same vein, I believe that
people can achieve miraculous things, not because
of their genetics, but because they have the selfconfidence and inner drive to reach their goals.
Examples of this philosophy can be found everywhere we look. People are determined to lose weight,
quit smoking, run a marathon, or go back to school
or any of hundreds of personal ambitions. They do
this because they firmly believe they can. A philosophy like this can literally transform your life. It
opens the doors to endless possibilities and virtually eliminates the concept of I cant. What a wonderful way to approach life!
One of my favorite songs has a line in it which
states, Imagine what you would do if you knew you
could not fail. That always makes me stop and
think because so many times, I believe we are held
back by nothing other than fear of failure. Why
bother joining the debate team? We will never be able
to hold our own in an argument. Why take the time
to exercise? We will just gain the weight back. Why
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spring! I sure am glad that I ignored them and concentrated on just doing my best instead.
What makes something possible in life is the
sheer determination to make it happen. That is
what spurred on people like Anthony, the Wrights,
and Kellerand me. All of us were completely dedicated to accomplishing something and we did it.
The same is true for all of us. All we have to do is
decide that we want to achieve something and who
knows how far it may take us? Perhaps we wont
achieve exactly what we had set out to, but as the
old saying goes, Shoot for the moon. Even if you
miss, youll land among the stars. And the stars
would not be too bad a place to be, right? Maybe we
will spot a bumble bee flying past!
study? We will just screw up the test. This line of

thinking is dangerous; it can lead to a descending
spiral of such negative thinking that soon we cannot get out of our beds in the morning. I have seen
this happen to someone close to me and it was a
wake-up call for me and how I looked at my own
future. It taught me a vital lesson about what I can
expect. Now, I hope to approach life with the same
attitude as that bumble bee. Of course I can fly! As
long as I believe I can and no one tries to tell me otherwise, I plan to soar!
Scoring evaluation: This essay perfectly shows how a
student can answer a question using a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, with relevant examples
and personal experiences. Grammar, spelling, and
vocabulary are excellent with strong sentence variety.
Note how well the student maintained the right pronouns (we/us) throughout the essay.
Score 5 Essay
The bumble bee flies because it has never been told
that it cannot do so. I think this is a great idea for
everyone to adopt in their own lives. Just imagine
what humans could do if they had never been told it
was impossible!
History is full of examples of people who have
done what others told them was simply impossible.
Susan B. Anthony campaigned for voting rights for
women when her culture told her she was crazy. The
Wright Brothers pursued human flight when others
thought it would never happen. Helen Keller went
after a full education and career even though she
was deaf, mute, and blind. I am sure many told her
that it was impossible.
Even I have come up against times where people
have told me something was impossible but I didnt
listen. When I decided to try out for the track team,
my brothers laughed at me. They said I would never
make it because I was too klutzy. Were they ever
surprised when I set a new record in sprints last
Scoring evaluation: This is another strong essay with a

great tie in between the introduction and conclusion.
It has relevant examples from history, as well as from
personal experience. This essay uses a little more repetition than it should and sentence variety could be
improved a little, but otherwise an excellent example of
how to write an essay.
Score 4 Essay
While I think this is a wonderful thing for bumble
bees, I dont see how it applies to human beings at
all. Animals often can do things that scientists do
not understand but it is not because they are
determined or anything like that. As animals, they
are not capable of higher thinking like that. Only
humans have that ability.
We stop ourselves from doing things that seem
impossible because we are able to reason things out,
rather than just be guided by genetics and instinct.
Right? That makes sense. So, while bees may be able
to fly even though science says they cannot, we are
different. We listen to what the scientists tell us
about what is possible. And what is not. That is for
our own safety. If we thought we could fly, a lot of us
would be jumping off cliffs and skyscrapers and
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finding out the hard way that it really was impossible after all. What lesson would you learn then?
Let those bees keep flying. Ignorant of the fact
that they cant. In the meantime, I will keep my feet
on the ground and if someone told me something is
not possible, I will listen carefully. Who knows? They
may be wrong but I wont risk hurting or even killing
myself to find out, you know?
Scoring evaluation: This student has a very valid point.
He or she disagrees that the quote applies to humans
(remember that you are NOT scored on if you agree or
disagree) and has some relevant support in the examples
used. There are some spelling and grammatical errors
and a lot of repetition/wordiness. There are some problems with pronoun shifting and verb tense issues as well.
Score 3 Essay
Bumble bees are pretty neat insects. I am not surprised to find out that they are not supposed to be
able to fly, but they still do. They seem like
determened creatures to me. I think that the quote
is basically saying that you can do anything you
want if I want to enough. That is a nice idea and I
hope that it is true.
Of course, there are limits. I mean, people may
want to be able to fly, but they cant, right? I would
like to live on the other side of the country, but I
dont see that happening anytime soon either. So,
while the bee idea is a nice one, I think it has to have
alot of limits on it.
I guess the answer is to just keep trying. Dont
give up. That is what my parents are always telling
me at least. They keep telling me to just hang in
there and not give up when I am struggling with my
homework or practecing my piano. Think I must be as
determened as a bee, I guess.
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Scoring evaluation: Although there is an attempt to

answer the question here, it rambles quite a bit and has a
number of errors in it. There is no real insight into the
question and too much slang or informal language. The
organization is very loose, and there is a lot of repetition.
Score 2 Essay
Bees fly like people walk. It is what they do. I dont
know if they have to know how it works to be able to
do it. I dont know how I walk. It just happens. I imagine that it how it is with bees too.
Science is strange. I dont always understand it.
Not my favorite class at all. I can ask my teacher.
Explain it to me so that I understand why bees can
really fly.
Scoring evaluation: The student is responding to the
question without any clear opinion, supporting examples, or a sense of organization. He or she misses the
objective of answering the essay prompt with his or her
own opinion, which is evident in the dont know
and dont understand statements. In the second paragraph, the student veers off topic completely.
Score 1 Essay
This is dumb. Bees wouldnt understand it anyway.
Bees fly. They want to. Why not? What else would
they do. I dont get it. Who said this? Probly scientist.
Applies to people. No clue. Just bees, right?
Keep flying is all they can do.
Scoring evaluation: The student clearly does not get
the point of the quote and is unable to write anything
in the essay. There are too many mistakes to be able to
read it, no examples, and no organization.
17. Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself

into some work you believe in with all your
heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find
happiness that you had thought could never
be yours. Dale Carnegie
play. I was enthralled by live theater. Watching live

performances only a few rows away was absolutely
thrilling for me and became a personal obsession. To
help support my love of theater, my parents had me
volunteer at the community theater as an usher. I
ushered for three years and although you would
think I was primarily interested in becoming an actor,
my biggest passion was in watching the theaters
choreographer teaching dance steps. One day, he
noticed my interest and before long, he was telling
me how he became a choreographer. Two years later,
I am taking three dance classes and am looking
seriously at a career teaching other dancers.
Hidden in between each step I take is that
sparkle of boredom that fueled the discovery. I
found it and know that, without a doubt, it led to
my happiness.
Assignment: Do you agree or disagree that

this is the best solution to boredom? Plan
Score 6 Essay
The concept of finding happiness through work is not
one that you hear promoted very often in todays
culture. Instead, jobs are something that we tolerate, a necessary evil in life. What a breath of fresh
air to learn Mr. Carnegies opinion instead. I have
every intention of spending my life immersed in a
type of work that brings me fulfillment, happiness
and yes, an end to boredom.
Boredom is a natural part of life and can often
be the springboard that you need to discover
something new and exciting. My mother always told
me the same thing whenever I told her that I was
bored. She would respond with, How wonderful for
you! What amazing things might you find out
today? She frequently reminded me that boredom
is a gift; people who are struggling to survive rarely
have the time or luxury to be bored. I did not appreciate her input as much as I should have then; I
do now.
I believe the key to spending too much of your
time mired in boredom is simply finding something
that fascinates you and pursue it. Who knows how
far it may take you? You never know what direction
it may lead. For example, when I was younger, I commonly complained of being bored during the summer.
One night (probably to just shut me up!), my mom
took me to the local community theater to see a
Scoring evaluation: This student clearly responds to the

test question and does it in a clear, organized fashion.
Sentence variety is excellent as is use of vocabulary. His
or her personal experiences relate directly to the topic and
are given with strong supporting details. He or she
definitely provided personal insight into the issue in a
very strong essay.
Score 5 Essay
Being bored with life is a ridiculous notion to me.
With all there is to discover, how can anyone have
the chance to be bored? I think boredom is usually
either a sign of laziness or ignorance.
I have seen many kids my age bored. They are
bored all summer when school is out. They are bored
sitting in the classroom. They are bored hanging out
at the mall. They are bored while talking to each
other on the phone. I have to wonder why it is so different for me. Why am I not bored like them? I think
the answer lies in the fact that I have a lot of hobbies. Some kids tease me about it, but those hobbies keep my mind active and boredom is just never
an issue.
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The free time I have after school and on weekends is usually spent on one of these hobbies. For
example, I do a lot of drawing. I spend a great deal
of time outside with my sketch pad, drawing whatever comes to mind. I keep a journal, so sometimes,
when I am done sketching, I will write in it. Another
hobby is that my volunteer job at the local retirement
center. I spend about 15 hours a month there reading out loud to some of the residents. They seem to
like it and Ive made some really great friends there.
I truly believe that boredom comes from a lack
of thinking of other things to do. If other kids
would just think about hobbies to start, places to
volunteer, and interesting things to learn how to
do, boredom would disappear and happiness would
be guaranteed!
Scoring evaluation: This student takes a completely different perspective on the question but responds very
well with relevant personal examples and good organization. There is some repetitive sentence structure and
vocabulary, but for the most part, this is a strong and
well-done essay.
Score 4 Essay
Being bored is rarely fun. It can lead to some fun
things though. For example, one time I was really
bored while I was sitting in the car waiting for my
mom to come back out of the grocery store. While I
was there, I was watching this man plant flowers in
the stores side lot. He was right next to our car. I
didnt have anything to do, so I started chatting
with him through the window. He was nice. He worked
for a landscaping company. They plants flowers,
plants and trees for businesses and home owners.
He had been doing it for more than 20 years. After
I had asked a lot of questions, he wanted to know
why I was so interested. I told him I liked doing outdoor work. By the time my mom came back from the
store, we were already talking about my working as
a volunteer at his landscaping company. Mom liked
the idea. She thought it sounded like a good thing

to do. So now, two months later. Im still helping out.
In the summer, they are going to start paying me.
Being bored led me to a really fun job. Who would have
ever thought that?
Scoring evaluation: Along with being too short, this
essay makes the mistake of running everything
together. While there may be a sense of organization, it
is lost in this formatting. Sentence variety is quite limited, and there is a great deal of repetition. The student
did answer the question and use a personal experience
as support for his or her opinion.
Score 3 Essay
Mr. Dale Carnegie said that if you are bored with life,
you should find some kind of work that you like and
pour yourself into it. He said to pick something you
would put your heart into. He said that you would be
happy then.
I guess he is right. I guess that if you found
something like that, you could be happy. I think it
would be hard to find though. I think many people
search of it all of there lives really. I know my parents
talk about getting jobs he would like better but not
sure what.
Mr. Dale Carnegie was a smart man, I bet.
Advice sounds good. I will tell my parents what he
said. Could help, maybe. Wouldnt that be nice?
So, in my opinion, Mr. Dale Carnegie is right
about what he said about boredom. That is the
conclusion I came to after reading his quote.
Scoring evaluation: This student is using a common
technique to make the essay longer. The first paragraph
is nothing but a repeat of the test question (only without sentence variety). There is a great deal of repetition
in the second paragraph, although it is an attempt to
provide a personal experience example for support.
The ending is another example of trying to make the
essay longer without actually saying a word.
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Score 2 Essay
Boredom is aweful. It happens to me almost every
single day. I think its pretty normal, right? I suppose
finding something inneresting would be a good thing
to do but I can never come up with nothing. My sister always picks up a book. But that is too much like
homework for me. My parents are giving me chores.
I dont like that too.
The man says to throw yourself into sumthin.
Like what? I need ideas. Hate being bored. I sick of
it really. Guess I could go outside. Rains a lot. No, I
think, in my opinion, in conclusion, that boredom is
turrible but a part of life. We all deal with.
Scoring evaluation: The student is responding to the
question, but without any clear sense of an opinion and
so full of errors, it is hard to figure out what is being
said. In the end, he or she tries to make the essay longer
by throwing in I think, in my opinion, in conclusion,
which is a sure sign to all scorers that this student has
nothing to truly say.
Score 1 Essay
Well, who isnt bored now and then? Part of life. Work
sure arent the anser either. If I am bored I just go
to sleep. Or call my frends. I can talk for hours.
Maybe I just dont get it. Why is this Carngie guy
saying you should work if your bored? No sense in
that. So, in conclusion, I guess I think hes wrong. Is
that ok?
Scoring evaluation: The student has pretty much missed
the whole point of this quote. His or her response is so
hard to read because of the errors that the essay could not
possibly get more than a 1. There are spelling errors,
grammar errors, off-topic responses, and absolutely no
sense of organization or supporting examples.
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C H A P T E R
Responding to
Idea Prompts
Read through and answer the following practice writing prompts, giving
yourself about 25 minutes for each essay. Remember, there is no right
or wrong argument, but make sure you stay on topic.
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RESPONDING TO IDEA PROMPTS
1. Many people believe that television is extremely

educational and a vital part of keeping up with
todays world. Others feel that it is a negative
influence, especially on youth. They think it
can lead to violence, apathy, and stunted
brain growth.
Assignment: Do you think that elderly

drivers should be tested more often the
usual driver? What age do you think is best?
What boundaries would you set for allowing
them to get or not get their licenses renewed?
Plan your response and support your position with specific points and examples from
Assignment: Do you think television

has helped or hurt our culture? Plan your
response and support your position with
specific points and examples from your
observations, studies, reading, or
4. Many parents give children a weekly or monthly

allowance regardless of their behavior because
they believe an allowance teaches children to be
financially responsible. Other parents only give
children an allowance as a reward for completing
chores or when they have behaved properly.
2. As automobile manufacturers struggle to make

their products more fuel efficient and environmentally safe, a growing number of people are
advocating giving up cars altogether in favor
of bicycles. They believe that they are the better
mode of transportation, saving gas, avoiding
pollution, and providing exercise all at the
same time.
Assignment: Which method do you think

teaches children the best lesson? Plan your
Assignment: Would the world improve if

more people used bicycles instead of cars?
experiences.
5. It is becoming abundantly clear that males and

females learn in different ways. In response to
this, a few model schools are separating the
sexes so that classes are all one gender. By doing
this, the teacher can focus on teaching to that
sexs primary learning styles.
3. According to some people, elderly drivers should

be required to reapply for their driving licenses
because with age comes diminished vision, hearing, and reaction time. This, in turn, can mean
bigger threats to the older drivers, as well as to
the drivers around them. Many elderly drivers,
however, require driving licenses for day-to-day
activities, like grocery shopping or doctor
appointments.
Assignment: Do you think separating boys

and girls into different classrooms is the right
way to go? Plan your response and support
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6. Many schools offer students who are native

speakers of another language the opportunity to
take classes in their native tongue so that they
can more easily assimilate and better understand
the material. Some educators believe that this is a
disservice and that these students should be
immersed in the English language.
Assignment: Which shopper would you agree

or disagree with? Plan your response and support your position with specific points and
9. Todays top professional athletes often have
salaries and bonuses in the tens of millions of
dollars. Golfer Tiger Woods makes more than
$80 million per year and football pro Peyton
Manning makes over $42 million.
Assignment: Do you think immersion

should be mandatory for students who are
native speakers of another language? Plan
7. Many people feel that the use of surveillance
cameras in public places, such as parking lots,
is a good idea that can help ensure our safety.
Others worry that too many cameras violate
our right to privacy and give law enforcement officials too much power.
Assignment: Is installing more surveillance
cameras in public places a matter of safety
or privacy? Plan your response and support
Assignment: Do you think these athletes

deserve such high compensation? Plan
10. Many people believe that competition is a natural part of life and belongs in the public school
system. Students regularly compete in everything
from the football team and the debate team to
choir contests and even in grades. Others believe
that competition is harmful and discouraging
to students and should be de-emphasized,
while lessons on teamwork and cooperation
are encouraged instead.
Assignment: Which opinion do you agree
with the most? Plan your response and support your position with specific points and
8. When people go shopping, some go to the

larger department/chain stores. These stores
often have the lowest prices and widest selection
of products. On the other hand, some shoppers
specifically try to shop at small, locally owned
businesses instead. They may have to pay more,
but feel they are supporting their community in
the process.
137
11. According to the National Center for Statistics

and Analysis of the National Highway Traffic Safety
Administration, at any given moment during the
day, 974,000 cars on the road are being driven by
a person talking on a cell phone. Some states have
made it illegal to do this. Other states are giving
the idea some thought.
Assignment: Should students be required

to say the pledge, should it remain optional,
or should the practice be completely halted?
Plan your response and support your position with specific points and examples
from your observations, studies, reading,
14. Many junior high and high schools around the
country require their students to spend a certain
number of hours doing volunteer work or community service. Some people believe that this is
an excellent idea that promotes good citizenship
and cultivates compassion. Others feel that forced
volunteerism is not actually volunteerism at all.
Assignment: Should it be illegal for the

driver of a vehicle to use a cell phone? Plan
12. Many albums and CDs now contain stickers
warning parents that the lyrics of some of the
songs may not be suitable for children. Some
people argue that simply putting a sticker
on a label is not enough. Others think it is an
infringement on the freedom of speech to put
a label on a CD at all.
Assignment: Which opinion do you agree

with in this issue? Plan your response and support your position with specific points and
Assignment: Are these inappropriate lyrics

warnings necessary? Plan your response and
13. For decades, elementary school students across
the country have been required to stand up and
say the Pledge of Allegiance to the American flag.
That practice has recently been called into question, and now, standing and reciting the pledge
is optional.
15. Today, more and more colleges and universities

are offering not only individual courses but entire
degree programs online. Some educators worry
that online programs do not provide the same
quality as an on-campus education and that in
an online program, students can get others to
do their work. Others believe online courses
offer convenience and flexibility, which enables
students, who might otherwise not be able, to
earn a degree and complete their educations.
138
Assignment: Should colleges and universities

offer degrees entirely online? Plan your response
16. Personal computers are a part of most schools

and homes today. Students spend hours every
day at the keyboard doing homework, talking
to friends, downloading music, printing papers,
and more. Some experts worry that young people are spending too much time on the computer
and advise parents to limit the time to no more
than three hours a day.
Assignment: Do you think that homeschooling is a valuable educational method? Plan

Assignment: Do you believe that computer

time should be restricted? Plan your response
17. Many schools employ security guards and
have installed security equipment such as video
cameras and metal detectors in the building.
Police have brought in dogs to sniff out drugs,
and lockers are sometimes searched randomly.
The schools believe that these steps are necessary
in order to maintain safety, but some students
feel like they are attending a prison instead of
a school.
Assignment: Are security measures in schools
necessary? Plan your response and support
19. Many cities suffer from serious air and noise pollutionas well as endless traffic jamsbecause
of too many cars. Some people feel that cities
with extensive public transportation systems
should ban passenger cars and force people to
walk, bike, or use public transportation.
Assignment: Should the number of passenger
cars be limited by law? Plan your response and
20. According to some health organizations,
many foods on the grocery store shelves are
made with generically modified ingredients.
This process helps reduce susceptibility to
disease, improve flavor, and reduce overall costs.
Most of these foods, however, do not have a
genetically modified organism (GMO) label.
Assignment: Should laws require manufacturers to label foods containing GMOs? Plan
18. One of the biggest educational trends in recent

years is homeschooling. It is growing each year
by approximately 15%. More than one million
children of all ages are currently being educated
at home.
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Scoring Guide and Sample

Essays
These types of writing essays are graded in the same

way as the quotation-based essays. Refer to Chapter 5
for detailed scoring guidelines.
Sample Essays
4. Many parents give children a weekly or monthly

allowance regardless of their behavior because
they believe an allowance teaches children to be
financially responsible. Other parents only give
children an allowance as a reward for completing
chores or when they have behaved properly.
Assignment: Which method do you think
teaches children the best lesson? Plan your
Score 6 Essay
Starting when I was about eight years old, my parents gave me a list of chores that had to be completed each week. If I did my chores, I got an
allowance, a bit of change that I could use as I
pleased. If I didnt do my chores, I didnt get my
allowance. There was no other punishment, but no
other punishment was necessary. That dollar or
two a week was all the incentive I needed to help out
around the house. Whether it was the latest Barbie
or a six-pack of Hubba Bubba chewing gum, there
was always something I wanted to buy. My parents
could always count on me doing my chores.
I think that giving children an allowance for
doing chores is a smart parenting move, for it
accomplishes four important goals: It helps ensure
that important work gets done around the house;
it teaches children that they need to do their part
140
to make things run smoothly for the whole family; it

rewards children in a realistic, practical way for
good behavior; and it helps teach children how to
handle money.
I know that some people consider money for
chores a form of bribery, and others feel that children should just do their chores anyway, without the
incentive of an allowance. They argue that giving
kids money for doing chores undermines the lesson
that they need to help the family and do their part.
I can understand that point of view, and when parents give their children too much money, it does
undermine those lessons. But when the allowance is
small, it is simply a modern version of the age-old
practice of rewarding good behavior. Once children
reach a certain age, money is an appropriate and
effective reward that helps them learn how to be
responsible and how to manage money. They get a
sense of what things are worth and how much they
have to save and spend to get what they want.
And learning to save in order to purchase a desired
item teaches them patience and helps children better understand the value of hard work.
Giving children money for doing chores is also a
good introduction to the reality of the workplace. If
they do the work, they get paid; if they dont do the
work, they dont. Extra work can be rewarded with
bonuses and extra praise; poor work may result in a
pay cut or demotion.
Its important for parents to find the right
amount to give. Too much money may make a child
feel like hired help and will undermine the goal of
teaching children to help simply because they are
part of a family that must work together. On the
other hand, too little money may make a child feel
resentful, as if his or her work isnt worth anything
to the household. Whats an appropriate amount? It
depends upon the amount of chores the child is
expected to do and the childs age. If your nineyear-old is only expected to clean his or her room, a
dollar a week is probably plenty. If your 14-year-old
is expected to keep his room clean, take out the

trash, water the plants, and vacuum the house,
then ten dollars a week is more appropriate.
Being paid for my chores helped me have a good
attitude about housework, taught me how to save
money and spend it wisely, and enabled me to appreciate the hard work my parents did around the
house. Im really grateful that this was the way my
parents chose to handle chores in our household.
Scoring evaluation: This essay receives the maximum
score for apparent reasons. It takes a stance (giving
kids allowances for chores done) and then supports it
with clear and relevant examples from the students
personal life. Each point is strongly presented with logical and clear points; the grammar and vocabulary are
error-free; the length is longer than some but would fit
depending on the handwriting style. There is a clear
introduction, body, and conclusion to the essay, and it
stays on topic from beginning to end.
Score 5 Essay
I think that giving children an allowance based solely
on their behavior is a huge mistake. The lesson the
kids will take away from this is not the one most
that parents truly want to impart.
When I was younger, I was jealous of my cousins
because they received a regular allowance. In my
household, this was not the case. We were expected
to do certain chores, of course, but there was no
compensation for it other than appreciation. If we
needed money for something, we had to tell our
parents what it was and why we felt it was important for us to purchase it. It was amazing how silly
some of the items sounded when actually described
in detail to a parent.
While I was over at my cousins house one afternoon, I listened enviously as my cousins told me
the different things they had bought with their
allowance. They did not have to do any work around
the house to earn it. They did not have to justify
141
their wants at all. They simply used the money as

they wanted to. That sounded great to me. As I was
writing my speech to convince my parents in my
mind, my two younger cousins began to argue. Just
then, my Aunt Nancy came in and said, Do you two
want an allowance this week or not? Both of them
smiled at each other and said, Sorry! The minute
their mom was out of the room, however, they went
right back to bickering. It was immediately clear to
me that they only pretended to make up because
their allowance depended on it, not because they
truly felt remorseful. That seemed wrong to me.
I began thinking about it and I decided that
paying children for good behavior is wrong. Good
behavior is something that is its own reward and to
put a price tag on it removes the essential lessons
it should provide. If parents want to give their children an allowance, I believe it should be unrelated to
their behavior and instead, just given as a gift for
being part of the family. This is what I plan to do with
my own children in the future.
Scoring evaluation: This is another excellent response to
the writing prompt. It is somewhat shorter but still
has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The
students point of view is clearly stated (allowances
given for behavior is a mistake), and her personal anecdote supports her opinion. The vocabulary is not quite
as strong as in a level 6 essay, but still good. The grammar is good, and the length is appropriate.
Score 4 Essay
Should parents pay children for doing chores is a
good question. My parents paid me, and my brothers and sister. I never liked doing chores, but getting
an allowance each week (if I did my chores) made it
not so bad. In fact, sometimes I did extra (like reorganizing the pantry) to get some extra money for
something I really wanted.
I think having my allowance depend on my doing
chores made me understand what its like to work.
In the Real World, you dont get paid if you dont do

your work. Thats how it was in our house.
I also learned that its hard work to keep a
house going, I learned to appreciate all the hard
work my mom and dad use to do. In addition, I
learned how to save money. I would set aside my
allowance to save up for something I wanted, like a
new CD player or outfit.
In my opinion, parents should give an allowance
for doing chores, but it shouldnt be too much. Children should know that they need to help no matter
what. Too much money I think would make him or her
feel like their hired help or something. Contrarily,
too little money can make him or her feel like their
help isnt worth anything to his or her parents. So
finding the right amount is important.
In conclusion, giving children an allowance for
doing household chores is a good idea. Children learn
to work for their money and save what they earn.
Scoring evaluation: Although the student has a strong
viewpoint and supports it with relevant examples, the
vocabulary is weaker here, with a lot of repetition. Sentence variety is limited, and there are several grammar
and usage errors. It is also on the short side, coming in
at just about 250 words when the ideal is 350 to 450.
Score 3 Essay
I think allowances are a bad thing for kids. They do
not learn responsibility like parents think they will.
They just learn to spend money on stupid things.
In my family, allowances are not even up for discussion. My dad would just say forget it. No way. He
thinks that we should just do things around the
house because that is being part of a family. I guess
that he is right in some ways accept I would really
enjoy having my own cash now and then.
Children should behave well. They should do what
they are told. They should listen to their parents.
They should not except money for it either.
Perhaps the best answer is giving kids spending

money occasionally so that they can purchase what
they want. The mistake is in tying it to certain kinds
of behavior. I think it is really wrong.
Scoring evaluation: This essay tends to use choppier
sentences and overly informal, slang terms. It is far too
short, and there are some basic errors like word choice
(accept/except and except/expect). The vocabulary is
limited, and there is little to no insight into the question that was asked.
Score 2 Essay
Allowances, they are cool. I always loved getting mine.
I plan to give my kids their own allowances someday
too. I think it gives them some freedom. And it
teaches them about how to take care of money.
I usually got an allowance no matter what I did
or did not do. That probly didnt teach me the best
lessons, I usually spent it on stupid things that
would either break or get lost in just a few days.
It must be tough for parents to make a decision
like this. They have to weigh a lot of different factors.
Of course, parenting is full of tough decisions. That
is one reason I do not plan to have any kids for a very
long time.
Allowances are a good idea. I would give one to
my kids if they would take the trash out for me. That
is the one chore I always hated the most.
Scoring evaluation: Although this student made an
effort to fill up the lines, there are many errors in the
essay, including spelling. There is no sentence variety,
and most of the essay tends to stray off topic.
Score 1 Essay
Many children they do not behave in properly, they
should be punish, no getting reward. They should no
be allowance anything. Chores is hard, on the contrary, there to learn for helping thats important.
For the family. All to do the parts.
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For me, it was vacuuming and the dusting. Every

week, for Saturday or else. Forgetting the allowance,
there wasnt. Only to be punish for what not to do.
Children should listen, to their parents. Its very
important.
Scoring evaluation: There is little right in this essay.
Verb tenses, punctuation, and spelling are all incorrect.
Because there are so many errors, it would be hard for
a scorer to read and understand what is being said.
7. Many people feel that the use of surveillance
cameras in public places, such as parking lots, is
a good idea that can help ensure our safety. Others worry that too many cameras violate our
right to privacy and give law enforcement officials too much power.
Assignment: Is installing more surveillance
cameras in public places a matter of safety or
privacy? Plan your response and support your
position with specific points and examples
from your observations, studies, reading, or
Score 6 Essay
Not long ago, the nation was gripped by the horrifying news that a baby had been stolen from a car
in a parking lot while her mother, who was returning
a shopping cart, was just a few feet away. Thanks
to the description of the kidnapper captured by
surveillance cameras in the parking lot and broadcast over radios, television, and highway overpass
signs, the kidnapper was quickly caught and the
baby returned, unharmed, to her mother. Had it not
been for those surveillance cameras, that mother
would probably never have seen her baby girl again.
I cant think of a much better argument for the
use of surveillance cameras in public places. That
babys life was saved by those parking lot cameras.
Many people worry about the use of surveillance cameras in public places such as parking lots,
143
stores, parks, and roadways. They dont like the

idea that they are being watched. They worry that
the information captured on the surveillance tapes
can somehow be used against them. But how? It
seems to me that the only reason we should worry
about being caught on surveillance cameras is if we
are doing something wrong. If we are behaving lawfully in a public place, then why worry if it is captured
on film?
Surveillance cameras can provide two immensely
important services. One, they can help us find those
who commit crimes, including thieves, kidnappers,
vandals, and even murderers. Two, they can serve as
a powerful deterrent to crime. A thief who plans to
steal a car may think twice if he knows he will be
caught on video. A woman who hopes to kidnap a
child may abandon her plans if she knows she will be
captured on film.
Surveillance cameras can also help us in less
critical but nonetheless practical ways. In some towns
in England, for example, radio deejays use information from surveillance cameras to announce the
availability of parking spaces in crowded public parking lots. Problems of all shapes and sizes can also
be noted and addressed through video surveillance.
For example, imagine a video camera installed in a
local town square. Reviewing the films, officials
might realize that people who meet in the square
move quickly into the shade of the one tree in the
center of the square. This could move officials to
plant more trees or provide tables with umbrellas so
that people could meet and relax in the shade.
Similarly, a video camera in a grocery store might
reveal that Aisle 7 is always overcrowded, prompting the manager to re-arrange items to more evenly
distribute shoppers.
Of course its possible to have too much of a
good thing, and if surveillance cameras cross the line
and start being installed on private propertythat
is, in our offices and homesthen we will have the
Big Brother is watching scenario opponents fear.
If that were the case, I would be against surveillance
requirements and red tape to fulfill before they can

be utilized. If not, regular, law-abiding, honest citizens such as myself will continue to worry that
they are being watched by Big Brother at all, and
frequently inappropriate, times.
cameras, too. But as long as surveillance cameras

are limited to public places, they can help ensure
our safety.
Scoring evaluation: This essay does it all: It has sentence
variety; powerful and relevant examples; a clear (and
grabbing!) introduction, body, and conclusion; and an
excellent use of vocabulary. The student even looks
briefly at the opposite side of the issue and shows why
it is understandable, but not logical.
Score 5 Essay
While I do understand that surveillance cameras
have many practical purposes in todays world, I
still find the very notion of them disturbing and
unnerving. It is too easy to slip over the line between
necessary and invasive. That line is just too thin.
While I realize that many of the surveillance
cameras are installed in buildings for sound reasons,
the idea that I am being watched as I walk through
a store, across a parking lot or into a city bus is
unpleasant. I find myself feeling guilty and selfconscious when I have no logical reason for it. It is
similar to the feeling I get when a police car is behind
me during traffic. I almost adopt suspicious behaviorfidgeting with my hair, glancing repeatedly at
the cameras and shifting from one position to
anotherand just because I know that perhaps
somewhere someone is watching my every move.
Because surveillance equipment is so common,
I also worry that it will be used improperly, either
commercially or personally. I fear that these cameras will be put in places that are truly unnecessary,
whether it be public restrooms, store dressing
rooms or club locker rooms. While it sounds unlikely,
I suspect that some people would find a way to
explain the necessity of these particular cameras,
one way or another.
While a minimal number of surveillance equipment truly is necessary in a violent and crime-filled
world as ours, I think there should be a plethora of
Scoring evaluation: This essay does a good job of taking

a position and explaining it. There are not as many
strong examples, but all of the requirements are here:
sentence variety, strong vocabulary, good grammar
and usage skills, and an ability to concisely express
thoughts and feelings. The conclusion is solid and ties
back to the opening paragraph.
Score 4 Essay
Many public places now have surveillance cameras,
the main reason being to ensure safety. I think
this is a good idea, and that more places should
have them.
Surveillance cameras are a good thing because
they help keep us safe. If people know they might be
on video then, they probably wont do something
bad or against the law, like stealing. This is a big protection for us. It makes me feel safer, especially like
in a parking lot in the night time. The other good
thing about surveillance cameras, is that they can
help us catch someone who does do something bad.
For example, stealing a car in a parking lot. The
camera can get a good picture of the thief and the
police will have a good description of the person
who stole the car. That makes it a lot easier to
catch the thief.
I think surveillance cameras can also be used for
other good things, like helping fix traffic jams in grocery stores. I mean if you can see that people are
always crowding in one isle, for example.
I know that some people are upset about this
kind of thing (being on film) and think that its like
Big Brother is watching, or something. Also, some
people just dont like being on cameras. However, if
youre not doing anything wrong, it shouldnt matter.
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Their only for finding people who do things wrong. To

me, I think that makes a lot of sense.
Scoring evaluation: This student gives it a good try, but
falls short in several areas. There is a lot of repetition,
and the examples cited do not sufficiently support his
viewpoint. There are some grammar errors (fragments,
etc.), and the essay shifts pronouns often, from they and
people to me and us. It is also too short.
Score 3 Essay
Surveillance cameras are important. They are the
key evidence in capturing crooks and other criminals.
How many times have you turned on the television
and seen endless replays of the latest tape catching someone in the act of committing a crime?
Grainy black and white pictures leads to going to
trial. Eventually, prison.
Of course these cameras invade privacy. That is
not even up for debate. It is obvious. The thing people have to figure out is if some lost of privacy is
worth more safety. I believe that the majority of people would say yes. It is definetely worth it.
Recently, I was grateful for surveillance cameras. When some illegal activity occurred in the
school parking lot (I wont say what it was) my name
was turned in for doing it. I made it very clear that
I was not a part of it. But I was not let go until the
surveillance tape was viewed several times. That
tape made it clear. I was not a part of the deal. That
was cool.
I do not like the idea of being watched all the
time. No one does. It feels creepy. But it has its
points. In conclusion, these cameras can be really
important. I think we should have more of them.
Score 2 Essay
Should we install survellance cameras in more public places or not. That is an excellent question. It is
a good think to think about. It is important.
These cameras watch people. I guess they
watch me sometimes, I never noticed. I will keep an
eye out for them more often now. I wonder if they are
in alot of places. I bet they catch crimenals. They
seem to pop up on tv all the time.
So I guess that more of these cameras would be
ok. They just better not put them in places where
people change close and stuff.
Scoring evaluation: This essay takes a lot of space to say
virtually nothing. There are spelling errors, as well as
word choice (close/clothes). There are no supporting
examples of any kind.
Score 1 Essay
In my opinion, should we install more surveillance
cameras in public places? I think, yes, is a good
idea. Why or why not? In my opinion, it is for making
ensured the safety in places such as parking lots.
This is what our write to privacy can do and tell the
law enforcement officials and government too.
Scoring evaluation: Besides being too short, repetitive,
and not answering the actual essay question, this essay
is almost incomprehensible.
Scoring evaluation: The student tried hard to fill out all

of the lines, but in doing so, used choppy sentences and
a great deal of repetition, plus the writer waffles on
viewpoint (from negative to positive and vice versa).
There is little vocabulary development and very little
insight into the actual question.
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9. Todays top professional athletes often have

salaries and bonuses in the tens of millions of
dollars. Golfer Tiger Woods makes more than
$80 million per year and football pro Peyton
Manning makes over $42 million.
Assignment: Do you think these athletes
deserve such high compensation? Plan
Score 6 Essay
When he was at the height of his basketball career,
Michael Jordan was making approximately $300,000
per game. Thats more than most people make in a
year; indeed, its more than some people earn in a lifetime. Yes, Michael Jordan was a phenomenal basketball player. Yes, he was also a fantastic role model.
But no, he did not deserve to earn such a ridiculously
high salary. Jordan, like many other top professional
athletes, was grossly overpaid.
Why do top athletes earn such inflated
salaries? Because they bring big bucks into their
cities and franchises. But what sort of service do
they provide to society? Do they save lives? No. Do
they improve the standard of living or promote
positive social change? No. Do they help keep our
streets safe or educate our kids? No. True, many
of the top athletes are good role models for our
children. But seven-figure salaries dont always
mean model behavior. Take N.B.A. star Latrell
Sprewell, for example, who choked and threatened
to kill his coach.
It is true that professional athletes work hard,
and many have spent their lives pursuing their goals.
It is also true that most professional athletes have
a relatively short career spana decade perhaps
at the top of their game. Limited as their professional sporting career may be, they dont deserve
such high salaries. After their professional sports
careers are over, they can certainly pursue other
careers and work regular jobs like the rest of us.
Ending their stint as professional athletes doesnt
mean they have to stop earning incomes. They just
have to earn incomes in a different way. Why should
they be any different from the rest of us who may
need to switch careers?
It is also true that professional athletes may
be injured while on the job; their work is indeed physical, and especially in contact sports like football,
injuries are bound to happen. But, like the rest of us,
they have insurance, and in nearly all cases, their
exorbitant salaries more than cover their medical

costs. And theirs is not the only high-risk job. What
about miners, construction workers, or firefighters? They are at risk for physical injury every day,
tooinjuries that could likewise end their careers.
But they sure arent earning millions of dollars a
year.
It is also true that professional athletes may
spend years and years practicing with farm teams
for a fraction of the salary they receive once they
make it to the top. But in every career path, we
start off with lower wages and must pay our dues
and work our way up. Besides, farm team salaries
are not always so low.
Were a sports-crazy country, a nation of
fanatic sports fans and celebrity worshippers. Were
awed and entertained by the best of themthe
Michael Jordans, the Alex Rodriguezes, the Emmitt
Smiths. But as much as they may inspire and
amuse us, professional athletes do not deserve
such high salaries. Those millions could be much
more wisely spent.
Scoring evaluation: This student uses such strong examples that his or her essay is quite persuasive. There is a
clear introduction, body, and conclusion and a great
use of sentence variety and vocabulary. Since it is free
of any grammatical, usage, or spelling errors as well, it
is clear why this essay would score a 6.
Score 5 Essay
The question of whether or not professional athletes are paid too much is really not debatable; virtually everyone who is asked is sure to agree on the
subject. Of course they are paid too much, often
obscenely so. But as much as people may protest
and complain, many of them are the very same people who happily shell out money not only for tickets
to see these athletes perform, but also money to
cable companies to watch live games and big bucks
146
for the multiple products they endorse. In many

ways, this seems hypocritical to me.
In our society, economy is usually a case of
supply and demand. It is the same with sports, in my
opinion. These athletes could never command the
immense salaries they do if thousands of fans were
not willing to support them in multiple ways. The
fans demand the tickets, the games, and the products and so the sports stars supply it, earning
huge incomes in the process. If these same fans
turn around and whine about the athletes enormous pay checks, their complaints seem hollow and
insincere, in my opinion.
Perhaps the key to limiting athletes salaries lies
with the fans themselves. While I am not a sports
enthusiast myself, I can see that it could possibly
be influential if fans would simply say no to paying
high prices for tickets, games, and products. If they
stopped buying them and perhaps even followed up
this voluntary boycott with letters to the editor of
sports magazines and other publications, changes
might occur down the line. Perhaps this is simply
wishful thinking or false optimism, but I like to think
that the little people can make a real difference.
Professional athletes are commonly paid millions of dollars every year, making far more money
than the average person will ever see in an entire lifetime, including myself. Do they earn it? There is little question that they worked hard to reach their
level of skill and are extraordinarily talented at what
they do, but in a world where people like teachers,
social workers, and other community workers can
hardly make ends meet, the fairness of their
salaries is decidedly debatable.
Scoring evaluation: This essay is an example of a student
who wrote on a somewhat unfamiliar topic (he or she
is not a sports fan) but in a convincing and logical
manner. It has great vocabulary; good examples; and a
clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Although
the writer would benefit from not qualifying some of
his or her statements (in my opinion), this essay is a

strong one that would easily get a good score.
Score 4 Essay
Do athletes get paid too much? You bet. Thats my
opinion. Professional athletes, what do they do with
all that money? Imagine Michael Jordan earning
$300,000 per game! Plus all his money from Nike
and other advertising. I think that money can be put
to much better use in this country.
Professional athletes should get good salaries,
but not the millions like they get now. Its just too
much. Their job isnt dangerous, except maybe for
football or ice hockey where its easy to get a bad
injury. Its easy to get a bad injury in lots of other
jobs, too, like construction, but they dont get millions of dollars. I guess, the difference is that nobody
likes to watch construction workers. Theres fun in
the game and people like the competition, sports
teams bring lots of money into a citys economy.
If professional athletes could guarantee theyd
also be a good role model for kids, then maybe they
could have such high salaries. Because theyd be
doing something good for society since so many kids
are watching. For now though, its too much.
Scoring evaluation: There is a lot of rambling in this
essay. When you add in spelling errors, repetition, little sentence variety, and grammar mistakes, you can see
why this would only earn a 4.
Score 3 Essay
Can you imagine getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for just a few hours of your time?
Wouldnt that be nice? I guess so. Professional athletes do. How can they be worth all of that? I dont
get it.
Of course, people like Tiger Woods and Michael
Jordan are very talented. They worked hard to reach
the level they are. I dont doubt that for one minute.
147
But do they deserve to be paid millions of dollars

every year? I personally say no way.
I like to watch sports. I appreciate the talent
that goes into being able to play like that. Of course,
if I could make the much money doing it, I would be
willing to practice a little more often myself. Then I
could make too much money and people could complain alot about me.
Scoring evaluation: This essay sounds like a phone conversation between two friends, rather than an essay
that is supposed to have an introduction, body, and
conclusion with supporting examples. It strays from the
main topic and is too informal for the assignment.
Score 2 Essay
Wow, these people sure do make a lot of money. It
must be nice to never have to worry about paying for
things. Like we do. Maybe I should practece more
often to.
Are they paid too much? Yeah. I sure do think so.
They make as much from making tv commercials
than playing games. That stinks. Other people
deserve to make that much. Like teachers. Like ministers. Or maybe the people who make sure kids find
parents to adopt them.
In conclusion, I believe that athleets do not
deserve this high compensation at all. It is not fair.
Scoring evaluation: This essay attempts to answer the
question but gets completely bogged down in fragments, misspelled words, and irrelevant examples.
Score 1 Essay
Today the athleets so much money. Millions an millions of the dollars. They playing baseball, basketball;
football, even for golf. This is the not of the dangerous sport, even less than many of the others.
The money, its too much, giving mine opinon. For
the teems and the citys its so much theres else to
pay for with the money, like homelessness. This is

the need to be changed.
Scoring evaluation: Like other essays that only score a 1
on the SAT, this one is almost incomprehensible due to
errors. It is not clear what the student is attempting to
say, and the essay is too full of flaws to make any sense.
11. According to the National Center for Statistics
and Analysis of the National Highway Traffic
Safety Administration, at any given moment during the day, 974,000 cars on the road are being
driven by a person talking on a cell phone. Some
states have made it illegal to do this. Other states
are giving the idea some thought.
Assignment: Should it be illegal for the driver of
a vehicle to use a cell phone? Plan your response
Score 6 Essay
No matter how careful a driver you may be, when you
do something else while driving, whether its drinking
coffee, changing the radio station, looking at a map,
or making a call on your cell phone, you endanger
yourself and others because you are distracted from
your driving. Even a fraction of a second of distraction is enough to cause an accident. While no state
can make it illegal to drink coffee or switch stations
while driving, all states can, and should, make it
illegal to drive while talking on a cellular phone.
In the past decade, as the popularity of cellular phones has risen, so have the number of accidents caused by people talking on their cell phones.
Whether they were dialing a number, listening to a
message, or simply in a heated conversation, they
were momentarily distracted from the task of driving, and suddenlycrash! Fortunately, many of
these accidents have been minor fender-benders.
148
But all too many have been deadly accidents that

could have been prevented by a stricter cell-phone
use laws.
Cell phone proponents may argue that talking
on a cell phone is no more dangerous than, for example, having a cup of coffee while on the road or talking to someone in the back seat. But unlike a cup of
coffee, which you can put down between sips, you
must keep the phone in your hand. That means that
you have only one hand on the wheel while youre
driving. That makes cell phones doubly dangerous:
Not only are you distracted by dialing or by the
conversation, but you are also driving one-handed,
which means you are less in control. If you suddenly
need both hands on the wheel to prevent an accident or to keep your car from sliding, the extra second it takes to get your hand back on the wheel can
make the difference between an accident and an
accident narrowly averted or between a serious
injury and a minor one.
Cell phones are also dangerous because when
you are busy talking, especially if you really have to
concentrate on the matter you are discussing,
your mind is not fully focused on the road, and this
has a significant effect on your reaction time. You
will be slower to make important driving decisions
such as how soon to brake and when to switch
lanes, and you will be less able to respond to situations on the road.
Many people use cell phones to report accidents and emergencies, to let loved ones know theyll
be late, and to stay in touch when theyre out of
town. Im not arguing that you shouldnt have a cell
phone in your car. What I am saying is that you
shouldnt be driving when youre talking on that
phone. Until your state outlaws hand-held cell
phones in cars, pull over to the side of the road when
you are ready to make a call. It may add a few extra
minutes to your commute, but it just might save
your life.
Scoring evaluation: Anyone who reads this can spot

that this is a very strong essay. It uses a wide variety of
sentence structure and an impressive vocabulary.
Spelling and grammar mistakes are absent. The student
makes a very strong case against using a cell phone
while driving and implementing laws for that reason.
Supporting details are significant, and each point is
very relevant to the question asked.
Score 5 Essay
Although driving while talking on a cell phone can be
potentially quite dangerous, I think that making it
illegal is taking the issue way too far. Instead, I think
that cell phone companies need to focus on alternative products that will still allow people to access
the convenience of a cell phone without the risk.
Several years ago, in response to a rising concern about the danger of talking on a cell phone while
behind the wheel, a number of companies began producing cell phones that could be mounted to the
dash. This kept drivers hands free, but still allowed
them to make calls and talk to friends, family, and
business associates as needed. Unfortunately, this
did not always produce the sound quality some
wanted and so other options are still needed.
I believe that cell phone companies are going to
create innovative new options before a law against
using a cell while driving is passed throughout the
country. Several possibilities are already emerging
on the market. For example, some people have a
product that they attach to their ears and connect
remotely to the cell phone. Using this, they can talk
and listen while keeping both hands on the wheel and
maintain high quality sound.
In the near future, I imagine that other hightech phones will be invented to be used hands-free.
I can even picture a day where cell phone technology
is implanted under our skin or are installed as part
of typical new car design. I hope that these kinds of
things happen before the law banning them is
passed. I feel that it is too extreme a reaction and
149
that cell phones are too much a part of our daily

routines to go without.
Scoring evaluation: This is also a strong essay with some
good points supporting the idea of being able to use a
cell phone safely. The examples are strong, and the
vocabulary is excellent. There is sentence variety
throughout, and everything focuses on answering the
main question.
Score 4 Essay
Driving with a cell phone is dangerous, and it should
be illegal. Its all ready illegal in some states, in my
opinion it, should be illegal in all of them.
First of all, driving with a cell phone is dangerous because your distracted. Especially when youre
dialing a number, then youre not even looking at the
road. What if the cars in front of you suddenly stop?
You can also be distracted by the conversation
you are having and lose focus from driving. This
means that you may not be able to react quick
enough to dangers on the road. Another problem is
that with a cell phone, you dont have both hands on
the wheel, and thats for the whole time youre talking. You cant make sharp turns and handle sudden
curves with just one hand.
Lots of people think, oh, its just one quick call,
no problem. But even just a quick call makes you
distracted, even just for a quick second. Thats
enough to cause an accident. So dont drive when
you need to talk on your cell phone. Instead, be safe
and pull over.
Scoring evaluation: Although this student has some
good points to make, some of the meaning is lost
because of the multitude of errors, ranging from
spelling to misuse of an adverb (quick/quickly) to word
choice (all ready/already). All of this pulls the score
down, as does the overall lack of vocabulary and length.
Score 3 Essay
Talking on the cell phone while you are behind the
wheel is not only stupid and annoying but dangerous
as well. I dont know why people do it. It really makes
me mad. I see it on the rode all the time.
I do not live in one of the states who has made
it illegal. I wish I did. I would vote for it. I would, for
sure. I dont get why people feel they have to talk
while they are diving. Cant they wait? I mean, you will
be out of the car soon so why not just wait until
then? How hard can it be?
Perhaps people could get the kind of cell phone
that mounts on the dash. That is an improvement.
At least your hands are free. You could also let a
passenger do the talking for you. This way you
would keep your eyes on traffic where they should be
at all times.
So, in conclusion, yes, it should be made illegal.
That is just common sense. I hope it is a law that
gets passed very soon.
Scoring evaluation: Like others youve read, this student
uses a lot of space to say very little. The sentences are
choppy, examples are missing completely, and there is
an enormous amount of repetition.
Score 2 Essay
It is dangerous enuf to drive on most rodes today
without adding the problem of cell phones. Why do
people do it? It is not smart. It is dumb. It should be
illegal. So, yes, I believe it should be ilegal to talk on
a cell phone while driving.
I have watched my dad talk on the phone while
he drives. He does not pay attention like he should.
He misses things. I had to warn him once to stop.
That proves it to me. It realy does. So make it ilegal.
That is my opinion on cell phones and driving.
150
Scoring evaluation: It is challenging to fill up those lines

when you have not thought out what you want to say
as this student has done. Although there is an opinion
with one supporting example, there is no sense of introduction, body, or conclusion. It reads more like rambling than answering a question.
Score 1 Essay
In many states of the United States they make it
again the law for talking while driving with cellular
telephone. In my opinion, is this a good idea? I believe.
For to many accidents, are happening with the
cellular telephone, the driver he dont see (what
happens) ahead. This terrible for every one especial
the ones they getting hurt. Some accident really
very terrible and, everyone going to the hospital.
This should be the law.
Scoring evaluation: Like the others with this score, this
essay is so full of errors that it is hard to understand
what is being said. Verb tenses, word choices, grammar,
spelling, and form are all lost.
18. One of the biggest educational trends in recent
years is homeschooling. It is growing each year
by approximately 15%. More than one million
children of all ages are currently being educated
at home.
Assignment: Do you think that homeschooling
is a valuable educational method? Plan your
response and support your position with specific points and examples from your observations, studies, reading, or personal experiences.
Score 6 Essay
I firmly believe that the only way we can make wise
decisions in life to make informed decisions. Many of
the people who form opinions about homeschooling
know little to nothing about it. Instead, they base
their perceptions on common myths, inaccurate
151
assumptions, and idle gossip. I am personally a

strong advocate of homeschooling because I have
experienced it on a daily basis; I was homeschooled
for five years.
When my parents first broached the topic
with me, I responded quite negatively. I raised the
most common objections: It could not be legal; I
would never have anyone to play with; I would be
horrendously bored staying home all the time and
certainly my parents could never provide the same
high quality education I would get in public school.
Despite my vocal and vehement arguments, my
parents were determined homeschooling was the
best option for my education. To reach a compromise, we agreed to try it for only a few months and
then reevaluate. I was sure that when that time
came, we would mutually agree that it had been a
disastrous decision.
Now I can look back at the whole experience and
realize how nave and uneducated I once was about
homeschooling. I had fallen prey to the same
misconceptions that people continue to believe
today. During my five years of homeschooling, I
researched the topic, through books, websites, and
even regional and national conferences. What I
learnedfar outside of my daily curriculumwas
that homeschooling is one of the best educational
options families have today. Instead of being illegal,
it was legal in all states. Instead of being lonely and
bored at home, I was immersed in classes, workshops, pot lucks, meetings, and play dates many
times each week. I made multiple new friends and
continued to see my public school friends on the
weekends. My education was high quality; indeed, I
feel I learned more in those five years than I could
possibly have learned in school. Best of all, I was
allowed the time to pursue some of my deepest passions, from drama and theater to foreign languages.
I discovered a true love of learning and realized that,
as Winston Churchill once said, I am always ready
to learn but I do not always like being taught.
never be able to handle the college lifestyle after

being so isolated in their homes all of their lives.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote that The
secret of education lies in respecting the pupil. I
think that homeschooling shows no respect at all
but in fact, shows disrespect for the wants and
needs of all students.
Today, I try to remind myself to never make a

hasty judgment about any controversial issue
without doing some research. Forming an opinion
about something I personally know nothing of is
foolhardy. Too often, I suspect later I might have to
eat those words.
Scoring evaluation: The writer of this essay has a strong
opinion about the issue and makes that clear through
the powerful examples he or she uses. The introduction, body, and conclusion are all clearly stated, and
there is excellent sentence variety and vocabulary use.
Score 5 Essay
While a large number of families are choosing to
homeschool today, I think it is a mistake. I believe
they do it for logical and understandable reasons,
but in my opinion, the negative aspects outweigh
any of the positive ones. Homeschooling keeps kids
from making friends, playing sports, and getting
into college.
If kids spend all of their time at home, how can
they begin to learn the socialization skills that they
will eventually need for coping with people on the job
or other situations? All young people need time to
be with friends, whether studying, talking, or just
being together. Families are wonderful but friends
are equally essential. If kids do not attend school,
they will not get the opportunity to socialize.
Many kids want to play some kind of sports
and once again, by not enrolling in a public school,
they will not have the chance. How many future
sports stars are lost because these young people
never get the chance to kick a ball, swing a bat, or
race around the track? Regular physical exercise is
a vital part of good health and once again, these
kids are missing out.
Lastly, homeschooled students will never be
able to get into college. They will not have the school
records, grade point averages, or test scores that
college applications require. Moreover, they would
Scoring evaluation: This is a strong essay based on a

strong opinion. The examples cited are relevant and
flow with good organization from one to the next. The
question is answered solidly, and there is good sentence
variety and vocabulary use. The quote at the end is an
excellent touch and ties the rest of the essay together.
Score 4 Essay
If you had asked me this question last year, I would
most likely have told you that homeschooling was
not a good option for kids. I would have based this
opinion on little more than rumors and stories I
have seen on television about it. Today, I can give you
a better opinion because my best friend is homeschooled and I have learned a lot about it as we got
to know each other.
When I first met Nicole, I had no idea she was
homeschooled. She was taking a soccer class at
the YMCA and so was I. She seemed really nice and
before long, we were talking on the phone after class
and getting together to do things on the weekends.
When I finally realized she was homeschooled, I
couldnt believe it. She seemed so normal. Since
then, I have learned that homeschoolers are just
like you and me, they just learn in different ways.
In some ways, I envy Nicole. She gets to sleep in
in the mornings and never has to deal with riding the
bus, which I hate doing. She gets a lot of time to
read whatever she wants. That would be nice. On the
other hand, she spends a lot of time with her
mother and her two brothers and I am not sure
how I would feel about that because I think I would
get tired of that.
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Nicole has shown me that there are a lot of different ways to learn information. When I told her
about a Shakespearian play we read in English class,
she told me she had read it too and loved it. Later,
she got me tickets to go and see it.
Homeschooling certainly is not for everyone. I
am not sure if I would like it or not but I do believe it
works well for some familys, like Nicoles. She is a very
smart and fun person and she has taught me an
important lesson: not to judge people until I really
know what they are like.
Scoring evaluation: This is a pretty good essay with a
strong opinion, supported by a personal example that is
relevant. The vocabulary use is not as good as it could be,
and there are some punctuation, spelling, and usage
errors that interfere with the essays readability.
Score 3 Essay
I cannot believe that more than one million kids are
being homeschooled today I had no idea the number
was so high. I have heard a lot about homeschooling.
It is on the news and in the newspaper a lot. Some
of the stories say how good these students do,
others just say these people are not being watched
carefully enough and are committing crimes.
A good education is important. You probably
can get it in several ways. That inclues homeschooling. I think that parents have to be very dedicated to their kids. Families spend a lot of time
together. I wouldnt mind that part. I dont see very
much of my family during the week. We are all going
in opposite directions. I miss them.
I think that homeschooling can be a good idea
if parents do it right. Research it carefully. Make
sure their kids are keeping up in all subjects. Make
sure their kids get time to play with friends and do
fun stuff, rather than just stay home and study all
of the time. So, I guess, in conclusion, if done properly, then going to school at home can be a smart
idea, in my opinion.
Scoring evaluation: There are some good thoughts here,

but they simply are not developed enough. More details
and examples are needed to make it longer and give it
support. The writer strays from the topic several times
into areas that are not pertinent, and there is not much
sense of an introduction and body in this example.
Score 2 Essay
Homeschooling, is it a good idea? I dont know. I
think it depends. Some families might do it well. Not
others. They do not know what they are doing. They
didnt go to college to be teachers they are parents.
I wouldnt mind trying it. Might be inneresting. If I
got to sleep in each day that would be the best part.
There are some homeschoolers in my soccer
class at the Y. They seem nice enough. They dont
look any different from anyone else.
So, yes, I think homeschooling is a good idea. If
it is done right, that is.
Scoring evaluation: This student is just rambling and
has no sense of organization or support for what he or
she is saying. Spelling and usage errors are prevalent
and make the essay hard to read and understand.
Score 1 Essay
Homeschooled kids learn nuthin. I think there lazy.
They probly get to do anything they want. I wanna
do that (not go to school). Sounds fun.
I bet you cant go to college. If your homeschooled. Why would you wanna go anyway? I think
home schooling is a big mistake you should not do it.
Scoring evaluation: Once again, this level of essay
leaves the reader confused and trying to unscramble
the meaning behind the mistakes. There is no support
for the students opinion; there is no introduction,
body, or conclusion; and no sentence variety or
vocabulary use. There is almost nothing here to use
for scoring purposes.
153
Posttest
Now is your chance to shine and prove all that you have learned
throughout this book. Its time for the posttest. Sharpen your pencil, take
a deep breath, and go. Good luck!
ike the pretest, the posttest will include:
9 identifying sentence error questions

12 improving sentences questions
3 improving paragraphs questions
1 writing prompt
155
POSTTEST
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
b
b
b
b
b
b
b
b
b
b
c
c
c
c
c
c
c
c
c
c
d
d
d
d
d
d
d
d
d
d
e
e
e
e
e
e
e
e
e
e
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
a
b
b
b
b
b
b
b
b
b
b
157
c
c
c
c
c
c
c
c
c
c
d
d
d
d
d
d
d
d
d
d
e
e
e
e
e
e
e
e
e
e
21.
22.
23.
24.
a
a
a
a
b
b
b
b
c
c
c
c
d
d
d
d
e
e
e
e
POSTTEST
Questions
The following sentences test your knowledge of grammar, usage, diction, and idiom. Some sentences are correct
as is. No sentence has more than one error. You will find the error, if there is one, underlined and lettered. Elements of the sentence that are not underlined will not be changed. In choosing answers, follow the requirements
of standard written English. If there is an error, select the one underlined part that must be changed to make the
sentence correct. If there is no error, select choice e.
1. After watching both versions of King Kong, my family declared that the original was the dullest. No error.
a
b
c
d
e
2. Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, which are sold in the bakery just around the corner,
a
b
is my favorite afternoon treat during the winter. No error.
c
d
e
3. I could not believe it when my mother told me that school had been cancelled for the rest of the week
a
b
c
because the measles was going around. No error.
d
e
4. The photographs and the captions for the high schools yearbook goes into the editors mail slot in the
a
b
c
main administrative office. No error.
d
e
5. Because the history professor was exceptionally late, the vast majority of the students leave the room.
a
b
c
d
No error.
e
6. Occasionally, some divorcing couples will choose a disinterested third party to help them figure out the
a
b
c
financial and custodial aspects of their new arrangement. No error.
d
e
7. Elisa can write good, so it came as no surprise whatsoever when she won the regional essay contest
a
b
c
sponsored by the community college. No error.
d
e
159
POSTTEST
8. Recent studies have shown that children who drink an inordinate amount of soda
a
b
c
frequent avoid drinking water or fruit juices. No error.
d
e
9. Karen or Sarah will raise their hands to let you know when it is the perfect time to make your appearance.
a
b
c
d
No error.
e
The following sentences test correctness and
effectiveness of expression. In choosing answers, follow
the requirements of standard written English; in other
words, pay attention to grammar, choice of words, sentence construction, and punctuation.
In each of the following sentences, part of the
sentence or the entire sentence is underlined. Beneath
each sentence, you will find five options for phrasing
that underlined part. Choice a repeats the original, so
if you believe it is correct as is, this is the correct
answer. Your choice should produce the most effective
sentenceclear and precise, without awkwardness
or ambiguity.
10. The overall decrease in traditional public school

funding is occasionally attributed to the steady
growth of homeschooling, it is increasing at an
average of 15% per year.
a. growth of homeschooling, it is increasing
b. growth of homeschooling it is increasing
c. growth of homeschooling; it is increasing
d. growth of homeschooling, but it is increasing
e. growth of homeschooling, although it
is increasing
11. Although he stated earlier that he had planned to
retire from writing nonstop best-sellers, Stephen
Kings newest release titled The Cell.
a. Stephen Kings newest release titled The Cell.
b. Stephen Kings newest release is titled The Cell.
c. Stephen Kings newest release, which is titled
The Cell.
d. Stephen Kings newest release known as
The Cell.
e. Stephen Kings newest release are titled
The Cell.
160
POSTTEST
12. A classic novel was removed from the required

reading list that was considered to be far too
controversial and racist for the majority of
the students.
a. A classic novel was removed from the required
reading list that was considered to be far too
controversial and racist for the majority of
the students.
b. Far too controversial and racist for the majority of the students, the list removed the classic
novel from required reading.
c. Considered to be far too controversial and
racist by the majority of the students, the
required reading list removed the classic novel.
d. A classic novel that was considered to be far
too controversial and racist for the majority
of the students was removed from the
required reading list.
e. The majority of students, feeling the classic
novel was far too controversial and racist for
the required reading list, removed it.
14. Although the cost of fossil fuels has continued to

rise and people have vehemently protested, but
consumers just keep paying the exorbitant prices
and filling up their tanks.
a. but consumers just keep paying the exorbitant
prices and filling up their tanks.
b. paying the exorbitant prices and filling up
their tanks, consumers keep doing.
c. consumers just keep paying the exorbitant
d. and consumers just keep paying the exorbitant
e. exorbitant prices and filling up their tanks,
consumers just keep paying and doing
15. While an amazing number of bands from the
1960s and 1970s have tried to reunite for touring
purposes, they rarely are as successful as they
had hoped.
a. they rarely are as successful as they had hoped.
b. so they rarely are as successful as they
had hoped.
c. rarely as successful as they had hoped are they.
d. because they had hoped to be as successful.
e. that they rarely are as successful as they hoped
to be.
13. The immense mountain ranges of the Pacific

Northwest are commonly sprinkled with snow,
covered in clouds, and endless evergreen pine
trees cover them.
a. and endless evergreen pine trees cover them.
b. with pine trees endlessly evergreen
covering them.
c. plus covers in endless evergreen pine trees.
d. but still endless evergreen pine trees cover them.
e. and covered with endless evergreen pine trees.
161
POSTTEST
19. The new museum offers everything from

submarine tours, planetarium shows, science
lab demonstrations, and interactive exhibits,
children converge on the place daily.
a. and interactive exhibits, children converge
b. and interactive exhibits, but children converge
c. and interactive exhibits children converge
d. and interactive exhibits; children converge
e. and interactive exhibits which children converge
16. Since e-mails have become such a popular and

convenient method of personal and business
communication, so old-fashioned letter writing
is becoming a lost art.
a. so old-fashioned letter writing is becoming a
lost art.
b. old-fashioned letter writing is becoming a
lost art.
c. because old-fashioned letter writing has
become a lost art.
d. old-fashioned letter writing will become a
lost art.
e. however, old-fashioned letter writing is
becoming a lost art.
17. A variety of Broadway shows have been attracting huge audiences and reviving the concept of
live theatre, Wicked and Mama Mia brought in a
record number of new fans.
a. live theatre, Wicked and Mama Mia
b. live theatre Wicked and Mama Mia
c. live theatre, but Wicked and Mama Mia
d. live theatre, however, Wicked and Mama Mia
e. live theatre; Wicked and Mama Mia
18. Led by such well-known rockers as Rod Stewart,
crooning ballads from the 1940s and 1950s,
a large and unexpected comeback with
baby boomers.
a. ballads from the 1940s and 1950s, a large and
unexpected comeback
b. ballads from the 1940s and 1950s; a large and
unexpected comeback
c. ballads from the 1940s and 1950s are making a
large and unexpected comeback
d. ballads from the 1940s and 1950s makes a
large and unexpected comeback
e. ballads from the 1940s and 1950s will be making a large and unexpected comeback
20. Todays growing industry of alternative medicine

offers consumers healthier choices, more natural
treatments, wider options, and healthcare professionals who truly care.
a. Todays growing industry of alternative
medicine offers consumers healthier choices,
more natural treatments, wider options, and
healthcare professionals who truly care.
b. Todays growing industry of alternative medicine offers consumers healthier choices, more
natural treatments, wider options, and truly
caring healthcare professionals.
c. Todays growing industry of alternative
naturaller treatments, wider options, and truly
caring healthcare professionals.
d. Todays growing industry of alternative medicine offers consumers more healthy choices,
more natural treatments, more wide options
and more caring professionals in healthcare.
e. Todays growing industry of alternative
more natural treatments, wider options, and
healthcare professionals that are truly caring.
162
POSTTEST
21. Because he had already finished his research

paper three weeks before it was due, Jason
spent his entire weekend reading and relaxing.
a. Jason spent his entire weekend reading
and relaxing.
b. so Jason spent his entire weekend reading
and relaxing.
c. but Jason spent his entire weekend reading
and relaxing.
d. although Jason spent his entire weekend reading and relaxing
e. since Jason spent his entire weekend reading
and relaxing.
The following passage is an early draft of a students essay, and parts of it need to be rewritten. Read
the passage and answer the questions that follow it.
Some questions are about individual sentences or parts
of sentences. Here, you are asked to select the choice
that will improve the sentence structure and word
choice. Other questions refer to parts of the essay or
even the entire essay and ask you to look carefully at its
organization and development. You should follow the
conventions of standard written English in answering
the questions.
(5) Dickens was much like the Stephen King of

the 1800s. (6) Every single one of his books was a
best-seller. (7) People followed the author on the
street. (8) They wanted to meet him. (9) They were
curious about him. (10) Many of his characters were
as well known as television actors are today. (11) If
a beloved character died in one of his stories, fans
mourned to the point of even refusing to go to work
or school.
(12) Although Dickens was an amazingly successful author, it was the stage that was his true passion. (13) He loved acting in live theatre, and during
the last decade of his life, he performed excerpts
from his own books to captivated audiences around
the world.
(1) Charles Dickens wrote an amazing number of

books in his lifetime. (2) Before they were put into
book format, however, they were published in magazines, one chapter at a time. (3) This kept readers
subscribing to the publications. (4) Whenever one of
his stories appeared, the number of copies sold
would skyrocket.
163
People followed the author on the street.

They wanted to meet him. They were
curious about him.
a. People followed the author on the street,
wanting to meet him as they were curious
about him.
b. People followed the author on the street
because they were curious and wanted
to meet him.
c. Following the author on the street, people
wanted to meet him because they were curious.
d. Because they wanted to meet him, people
followed the author on the street because
they were curious about him.
e. They wanted to meet him and were curious,
so people followed the author on the street.
POSTTEST
23. Which sentence most appropriately follows

sentence 13?
a. Even when his health was declining, Dickens
continued to perform some of the most
violent and emotional acts from his books.
b. He is most well known for his holiday classic,
A Christmas Carol, which has been turned into
many different plays and films.
c. In fact, when a childrens character named
Little Nell died in one novel, people were seen
crying in the middle of the street with the
magazine in their hands.
d. In fact, Dickens was considered the wealthiest
and most popular author of his generation.
e. It was where he felt like he was truly in his
element and could show all of the emotion
he put into his stories.
24. This passage discusses everything EXCEPT

a. how fans responded to Dickenss stories.
b. the overwhelming popularity of Dickenss
books.
c. Dickenss fascination with performing.
d. where Dickenss stories were published.
e. the background of Dickenss family
and poverty.
25. Activist Jeannette Rankin once said, You can no
more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
164
Assignment: Do you agree or disagree with

this statement? Plan your response and support your position with specific points and
POSTTEST
Answers
1. d. This sentence has an error in comparison.

When two things are compared, the comparative degree (ending in -er or using the word
more) is used, rather than the superlative
degree (ending in -est or using the word most).
2. c. This sentence has an error with subject-verb
agreement. The subject is cookies, which is
plural, so the verb is should be changed to
the plural are.
3. d. There are some subject words that are singular,
but they appear to be plural because they end
in -s. An example of this is measles. The verb
should be was instead of were.
4. c. When two nouns are joined by an and, they
are considered compound subjects and
require plural verbs. Goes should be go.
5. d. The problem here is verb tense. The first verb
is was, indicating the past tense. The second
verb should also be in the past tense to be consistent. Leave should be left.
6. e. There is no error in this sentence.
7. a. The word good is an adjective, and it should not
be used after most verbs (unless they are linking verbs). Good should be replaced with well.
8. d. This is an error with using an adverb. The
word frequent is modifying the verb avoid.
It should be frequently.
9. b. When singular antecedents (Karen and Sarah)
are joined by or or nor as in this sentence, the
pronoun that follows should also be singular.
Their should be her.
10. c. This is an example of a run-on sentence, or
two complete sentences improperly joined.
To be repaired, you either need to insert a
semicolon or the appropriate coordinating
conjunction. The two coordinating conjunctions offered here (although and but) do not
connect the two clauses logically.
11. b. This is a sentence fragment, because the independent clause contains no verb. Both choices
b and e supply a verb, but choice e is incorrect
because the noun is singular and are is a
plural verb.
12. d. This is a case of a misplaced modifier. The list
is not what was controversial and racist; the
classic novel is. The modifying clause should
be next to novel, not list, as in choice d.
13. e. This is a case of faulty parallelism. There
are three verb clauses here. With the first two
clauses, the pattern is verb-preposition-noun,
but the last phrase does not follow this pattern.
14. c. In this example, you have a cause of faulty
coordination. The two parts of the sentence
do not fit together. The first part is a dependent clause and it must be followed by an independent clause. Because the second part of the
sentence begins with but, however, it is also
dependent. The conjunction needs to be
removed, as in choice c.
15. a. There is no error in this sentence.
16. b. In this sentence, there is faulty coordination.
You have a dependent clause followed by
another dependent clause. By removing the so,
you have corrected the problem. Some choices
replace the so with another conjunction, which
repeats the problem. The other choice changes
the verb tense and makes the sentence awkward.
17. e. This is a run-on sentence, so the two parts
need to be separated by either an appropriate
conjunction or a semicolon. The insertion of
but or however does not make sense with the
rest of the sentence, so the only correct answer
is choice e, which adds the semicolon.
18. c. This sentence is a fragment missing a verb.
Punctuation does not correct it; it needs to
have a verb in the proper tense added.
165
POSTTEST
19. d. This is a run-on sentence that needs to be broken into two parts or joined together with the
appropriate conjunction. Only choice d does
this. The addition of but or which does not fix
the problem, as one obscures the meaning and
the other creates a dependent clause.
20. b. This is an example of faulty parallelism. The
pattern established in the sentence is for an
adjective followed by a noun, and the last
example breaks this pattern.
21. a. There is no error in this question.
22. b. This is a combination question. Choice b is

the only one that combines all three sentences
in a way that is not awkward or wordy.
23. a. This is a content question. Although all the
choices would fit into the essay at some point,
only choice a is directly related to the same
topic as sentence 13.
24. e. All the topics mentioned in the choices were
mentioned in the essay, except for the topic in
choice e.
25. Answers will vary.
166

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Ready, Get Set . . .

Recognizing Sentence Errors

Improving Sentences Questions

Improving Paragraphs Questions

Responding to Quotation Prompts

Responding to Idea Prompts

9 identifying sentence errors questions

LEARNINGEXPRESS ANSWER SHEET

11. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle created one of the most

10. While multiple movie makers try to convince

15. To qualify for the typical college scholarship, a

13. The laptop computer was stored safely in the

16. Community libraries must continually strive for

19. Since computers have become an integral part of

17. Charles Dickens wrote multiple best-selling

20. Various famous writers have included nonsensical

21. Reality television is a trend that highlighted

(7) Best of all, souvenirs from nature are free,

(1) One of the most beautiful resources to inspire

One of the most beautiful resources to inspire any

25. Some people believe that success comes through

24. Which of the following is the best way to

Assignment: What do you think is more

1. b. In this question, the subject of the sentence

22. c. This question is looking at the essays general

to each other. Here the two clauses (Charles

Ready, Get Set . . .

Keeping Calm, Cool, and Collected

READY, GET SET . . .

READY, GET SET . . .

Time for an Over view

READY, GET SET . . .

subject-verb agreement when the subject follows the verb*

Section 2: Improving Sentences Questions

READY, GET SET . . .

READY, GET SET . . .

READY, GET SET . . .

READY, GET SET . . .

READY, GET SET . . .

Did you address the correct topic?

Read and understand the prompt; then form your response.

Whats the Score?

LEARNINGEXPRESS ANSWER SHEET

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS

RECOGNIZING SENTENCE ERRORS