Running head: BEHAVING 1

What Children Need to Know About Behaving

Courtnee Jones

Fresno Pacific University

What Children Need to Know About Behaving

The idea of teaching children how to behave (rather than expecting them automatically

to know how or simply punishing them when they do not) is the hallmark of child guidance in

developmentally appropriate classrooms (Herner, 1998). Young children who make the

transition from being a home child to a school child have a lot to learn (Kostelnik, M. J.,

Soderman, A. K., Whiren, A. P., & Rupiper, M. (2015). In order for the child to become

successful in both settings it requires the child to have many behavioral skills (Berns, 2013;

Evans & Rosenbaum, 2008). Children do not automatically understand how to behave but it

takes the adults to teach them what is expected and how to control themselves appropriately.

There are no automatic solutions to every behavior problem a child might have and what

works for one family may not work for another. Teaching children to behave and follow

directions require these five principles that every child should have: Love, Clarity, Modeling,

Rewards and Punishments (Benaroch, 2013). Children feeling loved and secure with those

around them show that no matter what they do, they will have that sense of love from an adult

around them. Clarity is telling the child what they did was wrong and why it is wrong, shows

them what they need to do better for next time. This also requires the adult to be consist and clear

every time the child gets into trouble. Modeling is parents showing the child the type of behavior

that is expected from them no matter the situation. Whether it is good or bad behavior this is the

responsibility of the parent to show the child that it is best to stay positive and move forward

appropriately. Rewards is what every child loves but when is it okay to give a reward? Children

expect to receive a reward for the good and bad things they do but this is not correct. As a parent

it is best to show the child they have done something good by giving out words and

encouragements to reinforce good behavior. Punishments is what every child hates but little do
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they know it is what is best for them to understand. Relying on just punishments to teach their

child behavior will not lead the child into success. This punishment should be only to discourage

the bad behavior the child has presented and nothing else.

First, Self-regulation is most popular in infancy to adolescence ages because this requires

the child to rely on someone else to control their behavior for them. At birth the child has no

awareness of what is right and what is wrong nor they do not have any physical endurance to

control their actions as well. This requires the adult to adjust the childs behavior for them which

shows them at a young age how they should respond, moving into a regulation called adherence.

This involves having physical appearance with the child whether it be moving the child on the

teachers lap so that they may be able to focus on the task at hand. When they child gets an

understanding of self-regulation they tend to move into identification mode which means the

child tends to imitate someone they admire. Whether the child admires someone who may not be

a good role model or might be the best role model for them is up to the child. Influenced by

identification hopefully the child finds someone who has positive behavior because this will only

benefit them. Children then begin to develop internalization which means once they know right

from wrong they act this way not just because they want a reward but because they automatically

know the right thing to do. As an example, a child waits their turn in the lunch line because they

know they have to sit behind the person in front of them, even though the child wants to sit next

to their friend. Existing research findings showed that, among various types of student problem

behaviors, talking out of turn, hindering others, and idleness were commonly reported by

secondary school teachers as the most frequent (Sun, R. C. F., 2012).

Next, Emotional development comes into play when the child understands the

appropriateness and inappropriateness of their behavior. The two important emotional regulators
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are empathy and guilt. Empathy is the ability to detect different emotions in others, to feel what

another person is feeling. Empathy prompts children to consider others feelings which it is

positive or negative. Empathy requires the child to make a connection with the other child,

triggers them to show that they care and understand their feelings. Guilt is when the child does

not follow the rules or fail to meet the expectation of an adult. Guilt is the opposite message from

empathy. It warns children that the current, past or planned actions are inappropriate and they

should reconsider their actions. As the child grows older they understand and experience both

empathy and guilt maybe even at the same time. These both play a huge role in the behavior a

child shows in or out the classroom. Cognitive development includes the childs behavior good

or bad with the change in their age. Children understand their behavior or actions the are right or

wrong by reading the faces of others. As an example, a smile means that their actions are

positive getting what they want and a frown is negative an what they did was not acceptable.

Adults who speak clearly and tell their children the reasoning behind the good and bad, help their

child progressively move forward to self-discipline. Perspective-taking can be hard for small

children because this requires them to place themselves in a situation of another person.

Sometimes children find it hard to feel the way the other person may feel and due to their actions

they may not develop that skill. Centration allows the child to focus on only one way to achieve

their focus. As an example, the child continuously saying please when they want something.

Then, Language development is important for the child to be able to behave appropriately

because language contributes to the childs understanding of why rules are made and gives them

more tools for accomplishing their goals in social ways. Interpersonal speech is when children

come into early childhood programs with great vocabulary but have a hard time expressing their

needs or wants. The childs family may know what the child wants but to unfamiliar faces it may
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be hard for the child to get what they want. This may require the child to use their physical

actions instead to show that they are not getting an understanding from the adult. This tends to

lead into behavior problems and gets the child frustrated and upset because nobody seems to

understand. Private speech is what children seem to go to which is self talk to themselves. This

reduces frustration, postpones rewards and reminds themselves of what to do by talking aloud to

themselves. Memory skills for young children can be a bit hard because they live in a more then

and now moment. This can be a bit difficult because the child will need frequent reminders of the

rules they need to follow, whether it is in known locations or unknown locations. As the child

gets older they are able to categorize their thoughts and are able to relate to their past experiences

in order to help them in their present situations. Also the older the child gets they will be able to

use cognitive strategies to help them remember when and how to carry out positive social

interactions. If students do not develop the social skills they need to compete academically and

do not have other opportunities for demonstrating achievement and competence within the

school setting, they may develop antisocial attitudes and behavior (Bruce G. Simons-Morton,

1999).

Lastly, Development plays a role in how well children regulate their behavior.

Connectedness, belongingness, and community all refer to students sense of being in close,

respectful relationships with peers and adults at school (Schaps, E. (2005). Children

relationships and interactions with others including adults and peers, influence the childs self-

control. The most frequent modes include modeling, instruction and consequences. Modeling

includes showing the child what is expected of them by an adult. The adult who does this is

someone who is close to the child. Instruction is another way the child learns knowledge and

skills by coaching them. Indirect instruction is giving children opportunities to practice self-
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regulating skills like making choices. On the spot coaching is mainly what is right, what is

wrong, what to do and what not to do at that moment with the child. This can follow the

consequences the child will receive. Teacher praise has demonstrated effects on both those

earning it and those nearby. Verbal praise should be specific and descriptive. Teachers should try

to provide a child with at least four praise statements for every reprimand. (Parsonson, D. S.,

(2012). Children learn the best by having experiences to look back on. Positive consequences

increase the likelihood the child will repeat their acts in the future. If the child remembers what

they did right last time and repeat it again then they will most likely not get into trouble.

Negative consequences reduce the probability the child will behave appropriately next time. One

of the most important people in a childs life is their parents and how their parents play a role in

their lives influence the child the most. This involves the uninvolved, permissive authoritarian

and authoritative parent. The uninvolved parent shows low acceptance and involvement with

little to no control of the childs well being. This is the most sad and unacceptable behavior by

the parent because all the child knows is their family. The permissive parent shows the child love

and affection but the do not pay attention to the childs present or future behavior. The

authoritarian parent has high standards and expects the child to do exactly what they say when

they say it. No excuses are excepted with these parents because the child should have listened the

first time. The authoritative parent shows the child love an attention and also knows that the

child will need guidance to where they want them to be in life. This style is the most realistic

style of parenting that every parent should be.

All in All, children are a work of art and do not behave the way we, as adults, want them

to all the time. It takes patience and a lot of love in order to show the child why behaving inside

and outside of class is important. Some children may not understand why the teacher wants them
BEHAVING 7

to have a set of rules and regulations to follow because they may not have that at home. It is the

teachers duty to show the child how behaving appropriately is required to have a successful life

in their future. Young children who make the transition from being a home child to a school

child have a lot to learn. In order for the child to become successful in both settings it requires

the child to have many behavioral skills. Self-regulation, Emotional development, Language

development and Self-control are all required for the child to know how to behave appropriately.

Teaching the child to behave inside or class also travels to how they behave outside of class and

we want our children to recognize their actions can sometimes lead them into places they can not

get out of in their future.

References

Bruce G. Simons-Morton, Aria Davis Crump, Denise L. Haynie, Keith E. Saylor; Studentschool

bonding and adolescent problem behavior . Health Educ Res 1999; 14 (1): 99-107. doi:

10.1093/her/14.1.99

Kostelnik, M. J., Soderman, A. K., Whiren, A. P., & Rupiper, M. (2015). Developmentally

appropriate curriculum: best practices in early childhood education. Boston: Pearson.

Parsonson, D. S. (2012). Evidence-based Classroom Behaviour Management Strategies. 13(1).

Retrieved June 9, 2017.

Schaps, E. (2005). The Role of Supportive School Environments in Promoting Academic

Success. Retrieved June 09, 2017, from

https://www.collaborativeclassroom.org/research- articles-and-papers-the-role-of-

supportive-school-environments-in-promoting-academic- success

Sun, R. C. F., & Shek, D. T. L. (2012). Student Classroom Misbehavior: An Exploratory Study

Based on Teachers Perceptions. The Scientific World Journal, 2012, 208907. http://

doi.org/10.1100/2012/208907