Law plays an important role in maintaining peace and stability in society. While some argue that all lawbreakers should be imprisoned, others believe there are alternative punishments. Personally, the author believes it is reasonable for the government to have a range of punishments. Imprisonment can effectively deter crimes, but alternatives such as community service or education programs are also suitable for less serious offenses. Overall, law is crucial for any country, and a flexible legal system that considers both imprisonment and alternatives can best achieve justice and social harmony.
Law plays an important role in maintaining peace and stability in society. While some argue that all lawbreakers should be imprisoned, others believe there are alternative punishments. Personally, the author believes it is reasonable for the government to have a range of punishments. Imprisonment can effectively deter crimes, but alternatives such as community service or education programs are also suitable for less serious offenses. Overall, law is crucial for any country, and a flexible legal system that considers both imprisonment and alternatives can best achieve justice and social harmony.
Law plays an important role in maintaining peace and stability in society. While some argue that all lawbreakers should be imprisoned, others believe there are alternative punishments. Personally, the author believes it is reasonable for the government to have a range of punishments. Imprisonment can effectively deter crimes, but alternatives such as community service or education programs are also suitable for less serious offenses. Overall, law is crucial for any country, and a flexible legal system that considers both imprisonment and alternatives can best achieve justice and social harmony.
Law plays an important role in maintaining peace and stability in society. While some argue that all lawbreakers should be imprisoned, others believe there are alternative punishments. Personally, the author believes it is reasonable for the government to have a range of punishments. Imprisonment can effectively deter crimes, but alternatives such as community service or education programs are also suitable for less serious offenses. Overall, law is crucial for any country, and a flexible legal system that considers both imprisonment and alternatives can best achieve justice and social harmony.
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Commented [V1]: Suggestion: ensuring the stability for a
country and society.
keeping peace is fine, but it is not a good collocation as ensure stability. Commented [V2]: Meaning error: please notice the difference between all lawbreakers and all authorities. Law plays an imperative role in keeping peace for country and society. While some argue Using this noun phrase would mislead the meaning of the statement above. authorities that all authorities should capture people who do not comply with the legislation in prison, others think criminals can be punished with other ways. Personally, I believe that it is Commented [V3]: Good use of collocation! clement that government has different kind of punishments to chastise breakers. Commented [V4]: Word use error: redundancy Capture people = to catch a person or an animal and keep them as a prisoner It is unquestionable that people should be sent to prison if they are guilty. This is a brilliant So you dont need to add in prison here; otherwise, this way to prevent offences. Indeed, prison penalty can stop people having intention to do any will create a mistake. illegal actions because whether crimes are serious or not, they all receive this discipline. Commented [V5]: Suggestion: by other more effective Moreover, putting criminals in prison also a good idea to punish them. Life in prison without measures such as provision of education or engagement in freedom and happy make them feel repentant and they will not have serious fault in the community activities. The question states alternatives, so you will gain a higher future. Furthermore, capturing lawbreaker helps society become peaceful and lovely. score for Task Response when you can clearly give examples of what types of alternatives. On the other hand, there are various ways to punish people breaking law. It is logical that Commented [V6]: Word use error: government can depend on level of crime to decide punishment for each criminal. For Clement = showing kindness and mercy to somebody who is example, it is not worth to capture a one cake thieve, instead, authorities can force him to being punished You cannot say it is showing kindness and mercy that the do social activities such as planting trees or helping the poor and so on. In addition, government as it sounds unnatural. ... educating people to avoid doing illegal actions is also a great method. Therefore, no more Commented [V7]: Word use error: ... crimes happen and people are not put in prison. Commented [V8]: Suggestion: regardless of the ...
In conclusion, law is significantly essential for every country. Although prison is an Commented [V9]: Suggestion: they all face with ... appropriate way for pushing criminal, alternatives can be used to make law more flexible Commented [V10]: Grammar error: puttingis a good and logical. Commented [V11]: Grammar error: after without is a ... (262 words) Commented [V12]: Grammar error: subject-verb ... Commented [V13]: Good use of collocation! Task Response 6 In the introduction, you have stated your personal opinion in an understandable way. It is not clear Commented [V14]: Suggestion: they would not violate ...
and strong. Commented [V15]: Cohesion error: This is a result from ... In body paragraphs, you present relevant positions Commented [V16]: task response suggestion: Instead of ... and main ideas, but they are not well connected, Commented [V17]: Suggestion: other better ways/other... developed, and extended. Also you have a Commented [V18]: Word use error: break the law tendency to generalize your supporting idea. Commented [V19]: Grammar error: levels of crime ... Cohesion and 7 Paragraphing is good Coherence You arrange information and ideas coherently. Commented [V20]: Suggestion: decide ... Topic sentences of body paragraphs are not ideal, Commented [V21]: Grammar error: it is not worth + verb- ... but still understandable. Commented [V22]: Grammar error: singular and plural ... Cohesive devices are frequently and appropriately Commented [V23]: Grammar error: punctuation ... used despite some mistakes. Commented [V24]: Word use error: dont use this phrase... Vocabulary 6 You use adequate ranges of vocabulary relating to crime/criminal topic. Commented [V25]: Word use error: imprisonment, not ... Commented [V26]: Word use error: punishing criminals Commented [V27]: Suggestion: a set of rules
Ieltsplanet.info You attempted to use many less common words and phrases, but they are not always used correctly. In most cases, they are employed wrongly, but luckily this does not impede understandings. Grammar 6 You use a mix of simple and complex sentences. But you still make frequent basic errors, and this does affect your number of error-free sentences. Overall 6 I can see your great effort in finishing this essay, but you still need to be careful with the way you use academic English. First, basic grammatical mistakes must be avoided in high-scored essays. I know that even though you are fully aware of mistakes that I pointed out above, its possible that you will make the same mistake in the next essay. So you must think of a measure to tackle this. Second, try to pay attention to the use of vocabularies/phrases. With little changes, your range of vocabularies would change as I have showed you in detail comments of suggestion. Try to read more, be immersed more frequently in English environment even talking to yourself. Third, analyze how an instructor suggest a different structure for your essay/paragraph as they have experienced the same issue but in different context. If you are just look through the suggested structure, it is not acquired, but learned.
Sample answer
We have witnessed many crimes in modern society. It is argued that all of the lawbreakers should be sent to jail, while others think that there are better alternative choices for lawbreakers to amend themselves. In my opinion, these statements are reasonable.
It is certainly true that lawbreakers should be taken into the prison for some reasons. One of the reasons is that this policy can to protect the inhabitants of cities. Lawbreakers usually commit crimes that will bring harms to the others such as stealing and robbing. By sending crime offenders to prisons, it can ensure that the society safety. As a result, citizens subsequently would feel that the society is peaceful and secured. Another reason is that this action reduce the crime rate. By strictly imposing punishment to criminals, it will decrease the level of crime rate because it has deterrent effects. Consequently, people would give up the thought of committing crimes.
However, there are opposing voices saying that there are better ways to solve this problem. To begin with, the government should offer jobs to criminals. Re-offenders, in most cases, are struggling with extremely limited income in their lives. Given secured jobs and reasonable payments, they naturally can learn some practical skills such as computer skills. Therefore, they will not risk their liberty because they live like ordinary residents with sufficient income. Apart from this, the government should provide free education to them. Due to leak of educating in the past, perpetrators were unable to judge what was right and wrong things to do. Being significantly educating, they will become good members and will not return to crime.
In conclusion, although some people think that all the criminal offenders should be imprisoned, I still think that it will not solved the problems. However, if the government is able to provide free education to lawbreakers, this will give them a second chance in life.
