PRODUCED BY ANDREW LIPPA

1. Addams Family Theme 2. Overture 3. When You’re An Addams 4. Pulled 5. Where Did We Go Wrong

6. One Normal Night 7. Morticia 8. What If 9. Full Disclosure 10. Waiting 11. Full Disclosure – Part 2

12. Just Around The Corner 13. The Moon And Me 14. Happy / Sad 15. Crazier Than You

16. Let’s Not Talk About Anything Else But Love 17. Let’s Not Talk About Anything Else But Love (Reprise)

18. In The Arms 19. Live Before We Die 20. Tango de Amor 21. Move Toward The Darkness

BONUS TRACK “Not Today” (written for The Addams Family but never used) Andrew Lippa – piano and vocal

A UNIVERSAL MUSIC COMPANY

P&© 2010 Decca Label Group, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc., 825 Eighth Avenue,
New York, NY 10019. Distributed by Universal Music Distribution. All Rights Reserved. 00602527429434
www.deccabroadway.com
 Stuart Oken Roy Furman Michael Leavitt Five Cent Productions
Stephen Schuler Decca Theatricals Scott M. Delman Stuart Ditsky Terr
T y Allen Kramer
amer Stephanie P P. McClelland
James L. Nederlander Eva Price Jam Theatricals/Mary Lu
u Roffe Pittsburgh CL
CLO/Gutterman-Swinsky
Vivek Tiwary/Gary Kaplan The Weinstein Company/Clarence, LLC Adam
dam Zotovich/T
Zotovich/Tribe Theatricals
by Special Arrangement with
Elephant Eye Theatrical
present

Nathan Lane Bebe Neuwirth

in

Book by Music and Lyrics by

Marshall Brickman & Rick Elice Andrew Lippa
Based on Characters Created by
Charles Addams

©Charles Addams with permission Tee and Charles Addams Foundation

Starring
T
Terrence Mann Carolee Carmello
Kevin Chamberlin
With
Jackie Hoffman Zachary James Adam Riegler
Wesley Taylor and Krysta Rodriguez
Merwin Foard Jim Borstelmann Erick Buckley Colin Cunliffe Rachel de Benedet
Valerie Fagan Matthew Gumley Fred Inkley Morgan James Clark Johnsen Barrett Martin
V
Jessica Lea Patty Liz Ramos Samantha Sturm Charlie Sutton Aléna Watters
Lighting Design by Sound Design by Puppetry by
Natasha Katz Acme Sound Partners Basil Twist
T
Hair Design by Make-up Design by Special Eff
Effects by
T
Tom Watson Angelina A
Avallone Gregory Meeh
Orchestrations Music Director Dance Arrangements Vocal Arrangements & Incidental Music
Larry Hochman Mary-Mitchell Campbell August Eriksmoen Andrew Lippa
Casting Press Representative Marketing Music Coordinator
Telsey + Company
T The Publicity Office
e Type A Marketing
T Michael Keller
Production Supervisor Production Management General Management
Beverley Randolph Aurora Productions 101 Productions, Ltd.
Creative Consultant
Jerry Zaks
“are you unhappy, darling?” Choreography by

“oh, yes, yes, completely.” Sergio Trujillo

Directed and Designed by
Phelim McDermott & Julian Crouch
Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuwirth

“Death is Just Around the Corner”

(L-R) Kevin Chamberlin, Jackie Hoffman, Carolee Carmello, Bebe Neuwirth, Zachary James, Nathan Lane, Krysta Rodriguez

“Death is Just Around the Corner”

 CAST MUSICAL NUMBERS

THE ADDAMS FAMILY

Gomez Addams………………………….…………..……........................................................NATHAN LANE
1. Addams Family Theme….......……..….………….…………………………………………….....Orchestra
Morticia Addams………………….…………………………….....................……....…....…BEBE NEUWIRTH
Uncle Fester……………………......................................................................................KEVIN CHAMBERLIN 2. Overture………..………...…………….………….…………………………………………….....Orchestra
Grandma…………………………………….……...….........................................................JACKIE HOFFMAN
Wednesday Addams……………………..……........................................................…...KRYSTA RODRIGUEZ 3. When You’re An Addams….…………..…………...……………………………………………...Company
Pugsley Addams………………………………….…………..........……….......………..…..…ADAM RIEGLER 4. Pulled………………..……………………………….……………………………..….Wednesday, Pugsley
Lurch……………………………………………………….………...………....………......…ZACHARY JAMES
5. Where Did We Go Wrong………………..…….………………………………………..... Morticia, Gomez
THE BEINEKE FAMILY
Mal Beineke……………………………………………….................................…….……..TERRENCE MANN 6. One Normal Night……...…..…………..………………………….………………………………Company
Alice Beineke……………………………………………...................................…….....CAROLEE CARMELLO 7. Morticia…....……………………………...………………………..……..……..…Gomez, Male Ancestors
Lucas Beineke……………………………………..........................……........……….………WESLEY TAYLOR
8. What If ……………..……………………...………………………..…………………..................…Pugsley
THE ADDAMS ANCESTORS
ERICK BUCKLEY, RACHEL DE BENEDET, MATTHEW GUMLEY, FRED INKLEY, MORGAN JAMES, 9. Full Disclosure….......………………………...…………….......….………...…………............….Company
CLARK JOHNSEN, BARRETT MARTIN, JESSICA LEA PATTY, LIZ RAMOS, CHARLIE SUTTON, ALENA WATTERS 10. Waiting……………………..……………………...……………………………...…….…Alice, Ancestors

STANDBY FOR GOMEZ ADDAMS AND MAL BEINEKE: MERWIN FOARD 11. Full Disclosure – Part 2.……............………....……………………............................................Company
SWINGS: JIM BORSTELMANN, COLIN CUNLIFFE, VALERIE FAGAN, SAMANTHA STURM
12. Just Around The Corner………………………......……………….…….….......……..Morticia, Ancestors
ORCHESTRA 13. The Moon And Me……………………………………….......…….…..…Uncle Fester, Female Ancestors

Conductor: MARY-MITCHELL CAMPBELL • Orchestrations: LARRY HOCHMAN 14. Happy/Sad………………….....…………………………..……………………………………….…Gomez

CONCERTMASTER: Victoria Paterson • Violins: Christian Hebel, Lori Miller, Victor Schultz, Antoine 15. Crazier Than You…………………………………..……..………………….....………..Wednesday, Lucas
Silverman, Sean Carney • VIOLAS: Hiroko Taguchi, Liuh-Wen Ting • CELLI: Allison Seidner, Deborah 16. Let’s Not Talk About Anything Else But Love….……….....….….………...…Mal, Gomez, Uncle Fester
Assael-Migliore, • BASS: Dave Kuhn • REEDS: Erica Von Kliest, Charles Pillow, Mark Thrasher• TRUM-
PETS: Tony Kadleck, Bud Burridge • FRENCH HORN: Zohar Schondorf • TROMBONE: Randy Andos 17. Let’s Not Talk About Anything Else But Love (Reprise).…...…........…Grandma, Gomez, Uncle Fester
• KEYBOARD 1: Chris Fenwick; KEYBOARD 2: Will Van Dyke • GUITAR: Jim Hershman • DRUMS:
Damien Bassman • PERCUSSION: Billy Miller 18. In The Arms……………………………………......………………………........……Mal, Alice, Ancestors

19. Live Before We Die……………………..………………………………..…........…....…..Gomez, Morticia

Additional Orchestrations: AUGUST ERIKSMOEN, DANNY TROOB
Additional Drums & Percussion Arrangements: DAMIEN BASSMAN 20. Tango de Amor………………....………...………………………………………...…………..…Orchestra
Electronic Music Programmer: JIM ABBOTT
Music Copying: Kaye-Houston Music/ANNE KAYE & DOUG HOUSTON 21. Move Toward The Darkness………......…………………………………………….....…………Company
Music Coordinator: MICHAEL KELLER BONUS TRACK

“Not Today” (written for The Addams Family but never used) …………Andrew Lippa – piano and vocal
 3.

1. 2.

4.

6.

5.

1. Bebe Neuwirth, Carolee Carmello 2. Jackie Hoffman, Adam Riegler 3. Kevin Chamberlin 4. Nathan Lane, Terrence Mann 5. “Morticia” 7.
6. Adam Riegler, Krysta Rodriguez, Wesley Taylor 7. Zachary James
 Grandma’s private stache – Acrimonium – one swig of
FOREWORD But enough about us. What of the show itself? How has it Like any parents with a child in terrible trouble, Morticia which brings out the dark side in anyone who drinks it.
managed to erase all generational, economic and social and Gomez wonder, WHERE DID WE GO WRONG.
Amoonless night. The air, heavy with dark omen. Out- differences, bring together warring nations, cure Lyme After a less-than-normal dinner, Wednesday quiets the
side, the rustle of dead leaves, a sudden flutter of bats in disease, and save the rain forest? Read on, for in this de- Wednesday exhorts the family to act as ‘normal’ as possi- table for Lucas’ surprise announcement. But first, Gomez
flight. From the moor, the mournful baying of an enor- ceptively simple tale of young love traduced and restored ble when Lucas and his parents arrive. She’s afraid that, if reminds her, it’s time for the traditional Addams fam-
mous hound. - told with music at once so tender and stirring, so droll and his parents don’t approve of her, they’ll take Lucas back to ily game, “FULL DISCLOSURE” – during which everyone
gentle that it moves the very gods to tears - lies, if not the Ohio, and she’ll never see him again. sips from a sacred chalice and reveals something they’ve
An insistent knock at the door. Who can be calling on this hope of mankind, certainly something that will take up never told anyone. Gomez uses his Disclosure to try, in
bleakest of nights? A madman, escaped from the Hospital practically no space on your iPod. Lost somewhere in Central Park, young Lucas asks his par- vain, to calm Morticia. Fester confesses he’s in love – with
for the Criminally Insane? The depraved farmer from down ents to resist any judgments and all catastrophic conflicts, the moon. When Wednesday’s comes, Pugsley seizes his
the road, about whom it is said he does unspeakable things Listen, then - and weep. - Marshall Brickman so both families can enjoy ONE NORMAL NIGHT. chance! Unnoticed, he pours the Acrimonium in the chalice
with sheep? I peek through the window. A gaunt figure and passes it to his sister. But his plan to awaken the dark
stands shrouded in the mist, beckoning to me. But the moment Lurch ushers the Beinekes inside the de- side in Wednesday goes horribly wrong when Alice, cough-
SYNOPSIS crepit mansion, tension begins to mount. Mal Beineke, ing, intercepts the chalice and drinks the potion instead. A
I undo the latch. A pair of eyes as deep and black as the Lucas’ father, in the demolition business, takes an immedi- new Alice, very dark and uninhibited, reveals long-buried
bowels of hell bore into my very soul. And then I under- Centuries ago, The Addams Family ancestors came from ate interest in tearing down the house. Alice, Lucas’ mom, problems with her marriage. WAITING.
stand: it is Death Himself, come to redeem an ancient the old country and settled on a plot of land in what is now begins to spout happy poems at random – a nervous habit.
voucher. The figure produces a crumpled piece of paper. New York’s Central Park. (Long before it was a park, when Pugsley, Grandma and Fester try so hard to be normal, Mal, humiliated, rises to leave, with Alice and Lucas in tow.
“I’ve got it!” he cackles. “Rights to the original Charles Add- it was still wilderness and garbage.) The family flourished, they could hardly be more peculiar. And Wednesday, hav- Wednesday blurts out the news: “Lucas and I are getting
ams drawings!” and a huge house was built where a great Spanish oak, the ing worn black every day for eighteen years, appears in a married!” Chaos engulfs both families, and Fester, ever-
Addams Family Tree, had been planted to protect the an- bright, yellow dress. helpful, urges the Family Ancestors to whip up a sudden, ter-
My blood runs cold, my brain reels at the terrible irony, the rible storm, trapping the Beinekes with the Addams family
horror. Not Death, not a depraved madman - but the most cestral graves from such annoyances as sunlight and tour-
feared of all creatures real and imagined. As soon as they’re alone, Wednesday and Lucas reveal the for the night. FULL DISCLOSURE, part two.
ists. real reason for getting the families together: They’re so
A producer. much in love, they’ve decided to get married. Lucas prom- While the storm rages, Wednesday packs a bag, but Lu-
As the curtain rises, the last dead leaf of autumn falls, and ises to make the announcement at dinner. cas has no appetite for running off without his parents’
“What do you want?” I ask, my fingers curling around all is right with the macabre world of Gomez, Morticia,
the poker. blessing. Wednesday, furious at everything it means to
Fester, Grandma, Wednesday, Pugsley and Lurch. They’re Gomez and Mal share cigars and “guy stuff” – as Gomez be normal, leaves alone.
“A musical!” he cackles, rubbing his hands together. at peace, not just with each other and their unchanging shows Mal his collection of exotic torture devices, and in-
Addams-ness, but with their dead Ancestors, too – who troduces him to one of the family pets – Bernice, a giant One more of Gomez’ foot-in-mouth episodes prompts Mor-
“But – but – why me?” I stammer. “I’m a good citizen. I pay emerge from their graves on this night each year to join in
my taxes. I give to charity. I wish none evil. “ squid that came up one night through the toilet. ticia to throw him out of her boudoir. Her world is changing
a celebration of continuity. WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS. and she’s not ready. Her only comfort, and very cold com-
“I offer you the chance of a lifetime,” he says. “Sleep- Morticia and Alice share family photos and stories about fort indeed, is knowing that death is waiting for her, JUST
less nights, teeth-clenching anxiety, endless frustra- But Fester blocks the Ancestors’ return to their graves. their marriages. It’s clear that the Beineke marriage has AROUND THE CORNER.
tion and no guarantees.” Those unchanging Addams Family values are about to be lost some of its spark. Alice’s absolute conviction that
tested, and Fester enlists their help. Wednesday Addams, “women our age have had our fun, done everything we’ve In the guest room, Alice, under the influence of the dark-
“In other words, nothing changes.”
that charming, irresistible bundle of malice, has grown up going to do, and now it’s time to step aside for the children,” ness potion, can no longer rhyme. Neither can she tolerate
“You got it, sweetheart,” he says, biting the end off a ten- and found love. So what’s the problem? The young man, gives Morticia pause. her husband’s cynical attacks on Lucas and love. She packs
inch Cohiba. “You’re already in hell. Might as well do a little Lucas Beineke, is from Ohio, and his parents are coming to
typing. You and your friend.” him off with a pillow and blanket to sleep somewhere else,
dinner to meet the family. Two different worlds are about When Morticia overhears Wednesday and Lucas mocking as the storm rumbles to a conclusion.
to collide. Will love triumph, or will everyone go home their parents’ wasted lives, the pause becomes a panic.
And so it started. Modesty prevents me from describ- vaguely depressed?
ing how our little offering became something the public Gomez tries to distract her with a pre-dinner tango. But Once the rains have stopped, Fester heads outside for a bit
clasped to its bosom to such a degree that its bosom be- Morticia – stung by the thought that she and Gomez might of moon-bathing. Having observed the three couples fight-
Gomez and Morticia are understandably leery. Their doubts have wasted their lives – turns him down, leaving her ador- ing, he appreciates the joys of a long-distance relationship.
came worn and chafed. An iron-clad non-disclosure agree- grower darker when they eavesdrop on Wednesday, who, in
ment enjoins me from describing how we achieved such ing husband alone and unsatisfied. MORTICIA. THE MOON AND ME.
the midst of her afternoon play-date with Pugsley, refuses
success, except to note that close to opening night, a figure to torture her brother and involuntarily bursts into song –
with two horns and a barbed tail was seen exiting the pro- Pugsley, having witnessed Wednesday and Lucas together, Sitting under the family tree, contemplating the twists and
extolling all things bright and beautiful as love pulls her in worries that he’s lost his best friend. WHAT IF. Plotting to turns of this most unusual night, Gomez stops Wednesday
ducer’s office, leaving behind the faint odor of sulfur. an entirely new, and cheerful, direction. PULLED. break up the happy couple, Pugsley steals a potion from on her way out of the park. That which he most feared –
his baby girl’s growing up – he sees now as inevitable, and 1. ADDAMS FAMILY THEME MORTICIA
proper. His heart is flooded with the contradictory emo- YOU NEED TO REALLY LOVE YOUR WIFE
tions that every father, even a normal one, understands. 2. OVERTURE GOMEZ
HAPPY/SAD. (spoken)
3. WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS Several times a day.
With her father’s blessing, Wednesday offers Lucas a test to ADDAMS FAMILY
prove that he’s The One. The boy is afraid of death, but even ANCESTRAL VOICES YOU’RE HAPPY WHEN YOUR TOES ARE IN THE MUD
more afraid of losing Wednesday. He chooses the possibil- AH AH AH AH FESTER AND GRANDMA
ity of death over the certainty of loss… and wins.
AH AH AH AH YOU SMILE A BIT THE MOMENT YOU SMELL BLOOD
CRAZIER THAN YOU.
AH AH AH AH [FESTER and GRANDMA howl at the moon.]
In the grotto, Gomez and Mal, banished husbands, find AH! AH! FESTER AND GRANDMA
they have more in common than they would have dared GOMEZ AA-OOOH!!!
imagine. When Mal reveals a childhood desire to swim, just Ah, the intoxicating spell of the graveyard. Once a year when the ADDAMS FAMILY
once, in the warm ocean with the beautiful fish that beguile last leaf of autumn falls, we gather to honor the great cycle of life WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS
him, Gomez and Fester deliver him into the gentle embrace and death. Come, every member of our clan - living, dead – and WEDNESDAY
of Bernice, the squid. LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING undecided and let us celebrate what it is to be an Addams. YOU NEED TO GRAB A BOW AND ARROW
ELSE BUT LOVE. GOMEZ ADDAMS FAMILY
WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS
Lurch ushers Alice down to the grotto. She’s a woman on YOU NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE MOONLIGHT PUGSLEY
a mission; changes must be made if her marriage is to sur- WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS YOU NEED A MOMENT TO EXPLODE
vive. But when she finds Mal, dripping wet from his swim
YOU NEED TO FEEL A LITTLE CHILL GRANDMA
with a giant cephalopod, he’s a new man. IN THE ARMS.
YOU HAVE TO SEE THE WORLD IN SHADES OF GRAY JUST POUR A POTION
Morticia stands alone on the roof, silhouetted against the YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME POISON IN YOUR DAY FESTER
moon. The Ancestors lead Gomez up to find her, to pull her MORTICIA FLIP THE SWITCH
back from the edge. The other warring couples have made (spoken, in rhythm) FESTER/GRANDMA/WEDNESDAY/PUGSLEY
their peace. Now Gomez woos his wife, as he first did one That’s the way. AND WAIT ‘TIL THINGS GET HOT
night many years before, with the promise to “laugh and GOMEZ AND MORTICIA ADDAMS FAMILY
cry and dance until the very gods weep with envy.” LIVE WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS
BEFORE WE DIE. GOMEZ YOU HAVE TO REALLY STIR THE POT
YOU NEED TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR FESTER
A tango begins – the TANGO DE AMOR, the dance that [GOMEZ tickles MORTICIA and she giggles.] SO KEEP YOUR SUNSHINE
makes men weep and women cry out in the night. And
GOMEZ AND MORTICIA AND KEEP YOUR GLEE
Morticia cannot resist.
WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS GOMEZ
With all three couples reunited at last, Fester launches him- MORTICIA COUNTRY MUSIC AND TENNESSEE
self to the moon – and, love having triumphed, the gate to YOU NEED TO HAVE A TASTE FOR DEATH WEDNESDAY
the family crypt swings open, allowing the spirits of the An- GOMEZ/MORTICIA KEEP YOUR LAUGHTER
cestors to rest for another year. WHO CARES ABOUT THE WORLD OUTSIDE GRANDMA
AND WHAT IT WANTS FROM YOU AND MTV
The new, extended family understands: If we don’t run WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS ADDAMS FAMILY
from the darkness, we may see our lives finally illuminated. YOU DO WHAT ADDAMS’ ALWAYS DO! AND ALL WILL BE ALL RIGHT
MOVE TOWARD THE DARKNESS. ADDAMS FAMILY GIVE US SHADOWS AND GIVE US GLOOM
WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS BROKEN GLASS IN A MOTEL ROOM
For when it is dark enough, we can see the stars. GOMEZ SOMETHING FUN WE CAN ALL EXHUME
YOU GOTTA HAVE A LOTTA PASSION AND GIVE IT ALL TONIGHT!
- Rick Elice
ADDAMS FAMILY GOMEZ
WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS And on this special night, beneath our Family Tree, we
summon our beloved Ancestors. WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS WEDNESDAY
[The ANCESTORS arrive] YOU DO WHAT ADDAMS DO OR – I’M BEING PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION 5. WHERE DID WE GO WRONG
ANCESTORS LURCH [She pulls the crank again.]
ONCE TORN ASUNDER Ughhh. PUGSLEY MORTICIA
DOWN SIX FEET UNDER ALL AAAAAAH! She’s perky.
WE GET TO GATHER HERE DIE! WEDNESDAY GOMEZ
MALE ANCESTOR ONE AND THIS FEELING I KNOW She’s bubbly.
DEAD FOR FOREVER 4. PULLED IS IMPOSSIBLE, SO I’LL CONFIDE THAT I’VE TRIED MORTICIA
MALE ANCESTOR TWO BUT I CAN’T LET IT GO She’s optimistic.
BLED FROM WHATEVER WEDNESDAY IT’S DISGUSTINGLY TRUE GOMEZ
MALE ANCESTORS ONE AND TWO I DON’T HAVE A SUNNY DISPOSITION PULLED - Where did we go wrong?
CALLED NOW TO REAPPEAR I’M NOT KNOWN FOR BEING TOO AMUSED PUGSLEY MORTICIA
MALE ANCESTOR THREE/FEMALE ANCESTOR ONE MY DEMEANOR’S LOCKED IN ONE POSITION AAH! WE TAUGHT HER TO HUNT
EVERY CADAVER SEE MY FACE? WEDNESDAY GOMEZ
START THE PALAVER I’M ENTHUSED PULLED - WE TAUGHT HER TO AIM
ONCE IN AN ADDAMS YEAR SUDDENLY, HOWEVER, I’VE BEEN PUZZLED PUGSLEY MORTICIA
ANCESTORS BUNNY RABBITS MAKE ME WANT TO CRY AAH! WE GAVE HER A BOW
HOLD YOUR DECAYING ALL MY INHIBITIONS HAVE BEEN MUZZLED WEDNESDAY GOMEZ
HEAR WHAT WE’RE SAYING AND I THINK I KNOW WHY – PULLED - WE GAVE HER NO SHAME
TIME NOW TO GIVE A CHEER! PUGSLEY MORTICIA
GOMEZ I’M BEING PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION AAAAAAH! WE GAVE WHAT WE HAD
Line Dance! BUT I THINK I LIKE IT WEDNESDAY GOMEZ
[THEY dance.] I THINK I LIKE IT PUPPY DOGS WITH DROOPY FACES MADE SURE SHE WAS BAD
Bunny Hop! I’M BEING PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION UNICORNS WITH DANCING MICE BOTH
Do the Twist! THROUGH MY PAINFUL PURSUIT SUNRISE IN WIDE OPEN SPACES DID ALL THAT WE COULD TO KEEP HER SAD
Rigor Mortis! SOMEHOW BIRDIES TOOK ROOT DISNEY WORLD? I’LL GO THERE TWICE! GOMEZ
ALL ALL THE THINGS I DETESTED BUTTERFLIES AT PICNIC LUNCHES WE TOLD HER TO STAY AWAY FROM MODERN JAZZ
WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS IMPOSSIBLY CUTE BUNCHES OF CHRYSANTHEMUMS MORTICIA
MALE ANCESTORS GOD! WHAT DO I DO?? LOLLIPOPS AND PILLOW FIGHTS WE GAVE HER THAT WEEK-LONG TRIP TO ALCATRAZ
THAT’S RIGHT! MOTHER ALWAYS SAID, “BE KIND TO STRANGERS” AND CHRISTMAS EVE? SUGARPLUMS! GOMEZ
WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THEY DESTROY STRING QUARTETS AND CHIA PETS WE PROMISED SHE’D BE EQUIPPED
ADDAMS FAMILY/FEMALE ANCESTORS I CAN FEEL THE CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGERS AND AFTERNOON BANANA SPLITS BOTH
YOU HAVE A VERY SPECIAL DUTY WHEN SHE LEARNS THAT THE BOY ANGELS WATCHING AS I SLEEP AND FILLED HER CRYPT WITH WOE
MALE ANCESTORS HAS GOT ME PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION AND LIBERACE’S GREATEST HITS WHAT’D WE KNOW?
LATE NIGHT! OUT WITH THE ADDAMS! [She pulls the crank on the torture rack.] HAVE GOT ME PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION GOMEZ
ADDAMS FAMILY/FEMALE ANCESTORS PUGSLEY IF THEY KEEP INSISTING WE TOOK HER TO FUNERALS IN THE MORNING MIST
WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS AAAAAAH! I’LL STOP RESISTING MORTICIA
MALE ANCESTORS WEDNESDAY JUST WATCH ME PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION WE TOOK HER TO SLAUGHTERHOUSES
WITH ONE BITE BUT I THINK I LIKE IT. I SHOULD STAY IN THE DARK GOMEZ
ALL PUGSLEY NOT OBEY EVERY SPARK SCHINDLER’S LIST
YOU’RE OBLIGATED TO THE CLAN That was good, that was good! BUT THE BOY HAS A BITE MORTICIA
IT’S FAMILY FIRST AND FAMILY LAST WEDNESDAY BETTER FAR THAN HIS BARK WE TAUGHT HER TO SCOWL AND SNEER
AND FAMILY BY AND BY I THINK I LIKE IT AND YOU BET I’LL BITE, TOO AND DOMINEER
WHEN YOU’RE AN ADDAMS PUGSLEY DO WHAT’S TRULY TABOO GOMEZ
THE STANDARD ANSWERS DON’T APPLY Do it again, do it again! AS I’M PULLED IN A NEW DIRECTION! ON CUE
BOTH MORTICIA JUST ONE NORMAL NIGHT PLEASE DON’T EMBARRASS ME
WHAT DID WE DO? SHE NEEDS ONLY US Whaddaya say? OR BE COMPLETELY RUDE
WHERE DID WE GO WRONG? GOMEZ MORTICIA DON’T MAKE A FUSS ABOUT THE HOUSE
GOMEZ IT’S US, ONLY US ONE NORMAL NIGHT? ABOUT THE FOOD
(spoken) Are we good parents? MORTICIA WEDNESDAY WHOA! ONE NORMAL NIGHT
BOTH WE’VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR HER TO BE POLITE I KNOW IT’S BIG BUT CAN’T YOU SEE
WHERE DID WE GO WRONG? TO SWEAR FOR HER TO DO THE LEAST YOU CAN THIS ONE NORMAL NIGHT IS FOR ME!
MORTICIA [The BEINEKES try to find the house.
(spoken) Are we cliché? GOMEZ GOMEZ FESTER appears from behind a tree.]
BOTH
DISCOURAGE DENTAL CARE FOR HER One normal eve? FESTER
SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN
BOTH WEDNESDAY He seems like a nice young man!
GUILT AND GUILLOTINE
DO WELL FOR HER CAN YOU ACHIEVE ANCESTORS
WE FORGOT TO NOTICE THAT OUR DAUGHTER LOST HER WAY
EXCEL FOR HER A KIND OF COMMON MAN? [Grumbles: “They’re not right for each other!” / ”He’s from Ohio!” /
WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?
MAKE HOME A LIVING HELL FOR HER ”It’ll never work!”]
MORTICIA
SO WHERE DID WE GO WRONG YOU HAVE TO SWEAR TO ME FESTER
AND CAN WE FIX THIS?
GOMEZ IS NOT THE QUESTION YES, PROMISE TO THE CORE Not right for each other?! What do you mean, “They’re not right
MAYBE IT’S A PASSING PHASE RESOLUTE AND STRONG IT’S ALMOST SIX O’CLOCK for each other?”
BOTH IS OUR NEXT MOVE THEY’RE ALMOST AT THE DOOR! (sings)
BUT IF SHE’S GOING WRONG GOMEZ ON ALL THE ADDAMS ANCESTORS WAS NAPOLEON RIGHT FOR JOSEPHINE?
THEN WHAT WILL CHANGE HER WAYS? WE’LL TELL HER TODAY WHO’VE EVER WALKED ARIGHT WAS NAUSEA RIGHT FOR DRAMAMINE?
GOMEZ MORTICIA ONE NORMAL NIGHT! WERE THE 80’S RIGHT FOR THE DRUM MACHINE?
That’s it! We cancel this dinner. DO WHAT WE SAY ANCESTORS WHO’S TO SAY?
MORTICIA BOTH DOO DOO DOO DOO WHO’S TO SAY?
We’ll circle the wagons! SEND ALL THE BEINEKES BACK TO THE FRAY WAS BALLET RIGHT FOR BALANCHINE?
GOMEZ TURN THEM AWAY AT FIRST SIGHT [Section Two: An avenue of trees against the skyline of New York WAS POLIO RIGHT FOR THE SALK VACCINE?
And give these “goody-licious” Beinekes the boot! AND THAT’S WHERE WE’LL GO RIGHT! City. The BEINEKES: MAL, ALICE and LUCAS, enter.] WERE YOU FOLKS RIGHT FOR THE MEZZANINE?
MORTICIA No dinner tonight! WHO’S TO SAY?
WE MUST INTERVENE LUCAS
GOMEZ 6. ONE NORMAL NIGHT Wait! This is where I first saw her! Wednesday, with a crossbow. And ONE NORMAL NIGHT IS A PERILOUS TRICK
WE SHOULDN’T DELAY she looked like Diana the Huntress! NORMAL IS HARD TO ATTAIN
MORTICIA WEDNESDAY MAL CHILDREN ARE CRAZY AND PARENTS ARE QUICK
SHE’S BARELY EIGHTEEN Who? PASSIONS ARE HARD TO EXPLAIN
THEY’RE NORMAL PEOPLE
GOMEZ
NOT LIKE YOU ALICE BUT THIS IS THEIR MOMENT AND THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
SO WHAT DO WE SAY?
NOT LIKE ME He’s just expressing himself, dear. ‘Expressing is the poet’s art. Just SO IF YOU DON’T WANT TO REMAIN
MORTICIA
PLEASE CAN’T WE BE AN AVERAGE FAMILY! simply say what’s in your heart.’ START SINGING OF LOVE
WE KNOW THE OCCULT
MAL ANCESTORS
GOMEZ
ONE NORMAL NIGHT Lucas, your mother’s rhyming again. I say we take a rain check and WHAT?
THAT’S CERTAINLY TRUE
MORTICIA THAT’S ALL I WANT go back to the hotel. FESTER
WE’RE HERE TO CONSULT THAT’S ALL I NEED FROM YOU LUCAS LOVE
GOMEZ ONE NORMAL HOUSE No! ANCESTORS
MORTICIA, WITH YOU WITHOUT A MOUSE ONE NORMAL NIGHT NO!
MORTICIA TO FEED A PLANT OR TWO NO, NOT ONE POEM FESTER
SO WHY ALL THE FUSS? YOU MUST ADMIT WE’RE NOT WHAT PEOPLE CALL “LAID BACK” NOT ONE INSPIRING WORD LOVE
GOMEZ SO CAN’T WE MUSE A BIT AND LOSE THE BASIC BLACK? ONE NORMAL SCENE ANCESTORS
MY DARLING, DISCUSS WHOA, ONE NORMAL NIGHT COMPLETE ROUTINE WHY?
WITH NORMAL PEOPLE ON THEIR WAY TONIGHT CAN’T BE ABSURD
FESTER ONE NORMAL NIGHT 7. MORTICIA GOMEZ
LOVE ONE NORMALNIGHT NOT TODAY!
ANCESTORS ONE NORMAL NIGHT GOMEZ THAT’S REALLY NOT OKAY
UGH WEDNESDAY WANTS Morticia mia. SHE MUST BE FEELING BLUE
FESTER GOMEZ/MORTICIA/ANCESTORS MORTICIA, MORTICIA I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
ONLY AFFAIRS OF THE HEART ONE THE NAME ALONE IS GOLD EXCEPT, PERHAPS, IT’S TRUE
Your turn - FESTER/ANCESTORS IT SPEAKS OF DEATH AND LABORED BREATH I MUST, I CAN’T, I WILL
ALL ANCESTORS ONE NOT FEARS OF GROWING OLD YOU THINK? I SHALL
BRINGING THEM LOVE GRANDMA/PUGSLEY/ANCESTORS IF I COULD STOP THE CLOCK RIGHT NOW TO MAKE A SIMPLE WISH I’LL END MY LIFE!
FESTER ONE THE ONLY WISH THAT I WOULD WISH IS ‘TISH, ‘TISH, ‘TISH [GOMEZ moves to stab himself, but is stopped by the
YES! WEDNESDAY/ANCESTORS THE WIND THAT MAKES A WINDOW CREAK MALE ANCESTORS.]
ANCESTORS ONE THE MIST INSIDE THE WORD “MYSTIQUE” MALE ANCESTOR TWO AND THREE
LOVE ADDAMS FAMILY/ANCESTORS MORTICIA DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
FESTER ONE NORMAL NIGHT THE FLUTTERING WINGS OF BATS IN FLIGHT DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
YES! WE COMPREHEND THOSE CREEPY-CRAWLY THINGS AT NIGHT GOMEZ
ANCESTORS WE’LL TEND HER EVERY NEED MORTICIA MORTICIA
LOVE WEDNESDAY THE MOMENT SHE IS FOCUSED ON YOU Ahhhh!
FESTER ALL I WANT MAKES YOU FEEL ALIVE [GOMEZ moves to stab himself, but is stopped once again.]
RIGHT! ALL I ASK AND AFTER SHE IS THROUGH MALE ANCESTORS
ANCESTORS YOU’LL TEND MY EVERY NEED YOU HOPE YOU ONLY JUST SURVIVE DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
LOVE NOT UNLIKE BEING STUNG DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
FESTER BEINEKES BY EVERY BEE INSIDE THE HIVE MALE ANCESTORS
GOOD! WHEN WE ARRIVE MORTICIA MORTICIA
FESTER WE’LL COME ALIVE THE SCREAMS SHE SAVES FOR ONLY YOU GOMEZ
LOVE LETS YOU SPIRITS DEPART TO MAKE THIS NIGHT SUCCEED THE MISERY SHE PUTS YOU THROUGH SHE’S EVERY DREAM
SO LET THE NORMALCY START! LUCAS MORTICIA AND EVERY NIGHTMARE PERMANENTLY BOUND
FESTER AND ANCESTORS JUST BE RESPECTABLE MALE ANCESTORS SO WHEN I’M DEAD ASLEEP
PROTECT AND RALLY ROUND DON’T MAKE AN ODD REMARK MORTICIA THAT’S WHEN I FEEL IT MOST PROFOUND
LET’S AID THEM AND ABET MAL/ALICE GOMEZ BUT TELL ME YOU’LL COME ‘ROUND
ONE NORMAL NIGHT IS WHAT THEY’LL - OKAY, OKAY THE CHILL SHE BRINGS TO EVERY ROOM BEFORE I’M SIX FEET UNDER GROUND
FESTER WEDNESDAY THE LETHAL STENCH OF FRENCH PERFUME MALE ANCESTORS
GET! KEEP UNDECTABLE OUR PASSION FOR THE DARK MORTICIA OOH OOH OOH
[Lightning and thunder. FESTER scuttles upstage, revealing ADDAMS FAMILY/ANCESTORS MALE ANCESTORS
The Addams Family Manse as we transition from Central Park JUST AS YOU SAY MORTICIA GOMEZ/MALE ANCESTORS
to the Great Hall of the house. WEDNESDAY/LUCAS GOMEZ MORTICIA
The trees vanish, revealing THE ADDAMS FAMILY.] AND THEN IT’S PARADISE SHE MEETS YOUR GAZE AND PROMISES MORTICIA!
ADDAMS FAMILY/ANCESTORS RIGHT HERE IN CENTRAL PARK TO SEND YOU TO THE SKY GOMEZ
ONE NORMAL NIGHT ALL WHEN ALL THE WHILE BEHIND THAT SMILE THE HOURS PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK
ONE NORMAL NIGHT IN ONE NORMAL SHE’S WONDERING HOW YOU’LL DIE THAT UNEXPECTED GREEK TECHNIQUE
ONE NORMAL NIGHT INFORMAL THAT’S WHY IT’S SO DELICIOUS MORTICIA
WEDNESDAY WANTS ONE NORMAL TO BE DOMINATED BY MORTICIA MALE ANCESTORS
ONE NORMAL NIGHT DOORBELL NOT TODAY! MORTICIA
ONE NORMAL NIGHT DING DONG! THAT’S WHAT I HEARD HER SAY GOMEZ
ONE NORMAL NIGHT ALL WHAT’S HAPPENING TO MY WIFE? A BLACKENED HEART, A DARKER SOUL
GIVE HER JUST NIGHT! MALE ANCESTORS IMPRISONMENT WITH NO PAROLE
WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOUR WIFE?!
“Move Toward the Darkness”
MALE ANCESTOR ONE PUGSLEY HE LOVED HIS FULL DISCLOSURE! GOMEZ
MORTICIA! But what if she doesn’t get rid of him? What if all the good times are GRANDMA/FESTER/PUGSLEY/MORTICIA/ANCESTORS Excellent! Wednesday has a Full Disclosure! The chalice!
GOMEZ already behind me? DISCLOSURE, FULL DISCLOSURE [PUGSLEY crawls out from under the front of the table. He pours
Nice. GRANDMA FULL DISCLOSURE the purloined potion from a green bottle into the chalice, as the
[Awkward beat.] That’s life, kid. You lose the thing you love. DISCLOSURE, FULL DISCLOSURE song continues:]
IF I LOVE YOU AND YOU LOVE ME THEN LOSE THIS FRESH FACADE [She’s gone. Pugsley manages to swipe a bottle of Acrimonium, FULL DISCLOSURE PUGSLEY
MY INGENUE, I’LL HELP YOU TO AVOID THE FIRING SQUAD a mood-altering potion, from her cart.] FESTER Yes!
AND LIFE WILL BE, FOR US YOU’LL SEE, INTERMINABLY ODD! PUGSLEY Oooh! Oooh! NOW, WITH A DASH OF POTION
MALE ANCESTORS WEDNESDAY WILL DRINK AND THEN MORTICIA MY SISTER BLOWS HER COOL
MORTICIA! SHE’LL BE HERSELF AGAIN Let’s hear from Fester. The chalice! HOPEFULLY IN SLOW-MOTION
GOMEZ LUCAS WILL LEAVE HER BE FESTER SHE’LL DROP,
THERE’S NOT A MOMENT I COULD WISH SO SHE CAN TORTURE ME I am in love! SHE’LL DROOL
MALE ANCESTORS JUST LIKE SHE ALWAYS DID MORTICIA ONE SIP OF ACRIMONIUM
In love! AND THEN SHE WILL CHANGE
MORTICIA! ‘TIL THEN I’M JUST A STRANGE, FAT KID.
GOMEZ
GOMEZ BOY, OH BOY, HER FULL DISCLOSURE’S
Fester!
THAT WOULD EXCLUDE MY DARLING ‘TISH 9. FULL DISCLOSURE, part 1 GONNA BE STRANGE!
FESTER
MALE ANCESTORS MORTICIA/GOMEZ/GRANDMA/FESTER/PUGSLEY/ALICE/ANCESTORS
You’re probably thinking, what could a fat bald person of no specific
MORTICIA! GOMEZ FULL DISCLOSURE!
sexuality know about love? But I, too, am in love. Fester loves!
GOMEZ THIS IS THE SACRED CHALICE MORTICIA
MORTICIA
MORTICIA FROM ADDAMS FAMILIES PAST WHAT A MOMENT OF PRIDE!
Who is it, Fester?
MALE ANCESTORS FIRM IN MY DIGITALIS GRANDMA/FESTER/ALICE/PUGSLEY/ANCESTORS
FESTER
AH! HELD FAST LA LA LA LA
(shyly)
DIE-CAST! The moon! Full Disclosure! [The chalice is passed down the table toward WEDNESDAY.
8. WHAT IF
HERE, IN THIS SWEET LIBATION GOMEZ/MORTICIA/FESTER/PUGSLEY/GRANDMA/ALICE/ANCESTORS ALICE starts coughing.]
PUGSLEY SALVATION RESIDES FULL DISCLOSURE! GOMEZ
WHAT IF SHE NEVER TORTURES ME ANYMORE? FEEL THE SWEET SENSATION FESTER NOW OUR ELDEST CHILD CAN SHARE WHAT’S INSIDE!
HOW WOULD I MANAGE? REVELATION PROVIDES JUST EMBRACE IT AND SWOON GRNDM/FESTER/ALICE/PUGSLEY/MORTICIA/ANCESTORS
WHAT IF SHE NEVER NAILS MY TONGUE [He drinks from the chalice.] GOMEZ/MORTICIA/FESTER/PUGSLEY/GRANDMA/ALICE/ANCESTORS LA LA LA LA!
TO THE BATHROOM FLOOR? FULL DISCLOSURE! EMBRACE AND SWOON [ALICE coughs again. The chalice is passed to WEDNESDAY.
WHAT IF SHE WALKS AWAY IT’S A GAME THAT WE PLAY FESTER She holds it, gathering her thoughts, then raises it to her lips...]
LEAVING ME A-OK, LET YOUR DARKEST SECRETS FALL FROM GRACE OR FALL IN LOVE WITH THE MOON GOMEZ/MORTICIA
HIDING EACH POWER TOOL GIVE YOU AWAY GOMEZ/MORTICIA/FESTER/PUGSLEY/GRANDMA/ALICE/ANCESTORS FULL DISCLOSURE, SHE’S GOT NOTHING TO HIDE!
WHY WOULD SHE BE SO CRUEL? FACE YOUR DEMONS HE LOVES THAT MOON GOMEZ/MORTICIA/GRANDMA/FESTER/ALICE/PUGSLEY/ANCESTORS
AND THEN HAPPILY SAY FESTER HOORAY FOR FULL...
I COULD STAB MY ARM MYSELF I’M PLAYING CLOSE YOUR SERMON WITH A SIGNATURE TUNE [WEDNESDAY is about to drink, but ALICE coughs again.
COULD RIP MY TONSILS OUT FULL DISCLOSURE GOMEZ/MORTICIA/FESTER/PUGSLEY/GRANDMA/ALICE/ANCESTROS WEDNESDAY decides to hand the chalice over to ALICE.]
COULD SET MY HAIR AFLAME WITH ALL THESE CRAZY HAPPY PEOPLE AND CALL IT FULL DISCLOSURE! PUGSLEY
I COULD SPRAY MY EYES WITH MACE GOMEZ/MORTICIA/FESTER/GRANDMA/PUGSLEY/ANCESTORS ALICE (as Alice drinks)
BUT FACE THE FACT, WITHOUT HER, FULL DISCLOSURE! Well! Wasn’t that interesting! No!!!!
IT WOULDN’T BE THE SAME... GOMEZ MAL [ALICE’S cheeks flush, her soul darkens, she howls in pain]
PUGSLEY IT’S A HELL OF A THING Alice, it’s late. (to the Addams’) Thank you for a very
Grandma - what if there was this girl who met this person and ONCE A FAVORITE instructive evening – 10. WAITING
OF THE LATE DENG XIAO PING WEDNESDAY
they’re gonna run away and live alone and eat apples. What would
DOESN’T MATTER NO! It’s my turn. ALICE (sings)
you give her?
IF YOU’RE RIGHT OR LEFT WING LUCAS AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH,
GRANDMA
Wednesday – AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH!
Nothing. She’s your sister. Be happy for her.
 MAL ALL SOME PEOPLE DIE FROM PUBLIC STONING
A WOMAN WAITS FOR MARRIAGE OK, Addams, I got one for you. We’re simple people. We’re not used SOMEONE STARTED IT FAULTY WIRING
A WOMAN WAITS FOR CHILDREN to your sophisticated New York life-style. So with your permission, SO SOMEONE’S TO BLAME FAULTY ZONING
SHE WAITS FOR HER BIG MAL TO COME BACK HOME we’re gonna go back to the real America. Full Disclosure!! ENOUGH OF FULL CHERRY PITS THEY DIDN’T KNOW WERE THERE
AT FIVE O’CLOCK WEDNESDAY DISCLOSURE! MALE ANCESTOR TWO
OR SIX O’CLOCK Wait! Wait! I’m sorry, but Lucas won’t be going with you. (Cough! Cough!)
‘TIL IT’S NINE O’CLOCK MAL MORTICIA
AND THERE’S NO O’CLOCK TO EASE THE PAIN Why not? 12. JUST AROUND THE CORNER PERHAPS IT’S BY A JUNGLE CAT
PAIN SHE CAN’T EXPLAIN WEDNESDAY FEMALE ANCESTOR TWO
Because Lucas and I are getting married. MORTICIA A SLIPPERY MAT
AS THE WOMAN WAITS IN THE DARK [LUCAS stares at WEDNESDAY, eyes wide.] MY DAUGHTER’S GETTING MARRIED MALE ANCESTOR THREE
FOR A SPARK THAT ONCE WAS THERE FESTER/ANCESTORS I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S TRUE A BASEBALL BAT
THAT ISN’T THERE, NOT EVER THERE! MARRIED! SHE DOESN’T ASK HER PARENTS BEFORE SHE SAYS “I DO?” MORTICIA
ALONE AND GOMEZ AND WHAT ABOUT MY HUSBAND? PERHAPS AN UNSUCCESSFUL LOVE AFFAIR
WAITING AND WAILING No! It can’t be! OBLIVIOUS, NAÏVE IT COULD BE IN A SPEEDING TRAIN
WHINING AND WANING FESTER/ANCESTORS THIS EVENING’S GETTING SERIOUS IT COULD BE UNDERWATER
WANTING AND WASTING AND WOE MARRIED! THESE OHIOANS WON’T LEAVE IT COULD BE TOO MUCH NOVOCAINE
MAL BUT I CAN’T LET THESE LATEST TROUBLES ROB ME OF MY BLISS OR EVEN BY YOUR DAUGHTER
WAITING, FIXATING, You marry her, I’m cutting you off. FOR WHEN I’M SCARED OF TRUE DISASTER I REMEMBER THIS... FEMALE ANCESTOR ONE
DEBATING, LOSE WEIGHTING, MAL PERHAPS A BAD MOSQUITO BITE
ICE SKATING, LACTATING – AND SO NOT A SINGLE PENNY DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER MALE ANCESTOR ONE & FOUR
FESTER/ANCESTORS WAITING PATIENTLY TO STRIKE A TITLE FIGHT
WE WAIT TO LAUGH GETTING MARRIED ONE UNPLANNED ELECTROCUTION FEMALE ANCESTOR THREE & FOUR
WE WAIT TO CRY WEDNESDAY THAT’S THE KIND OF END RELIGIOUS RITE
WE WAIT FOR EVERY HOPEFUL BREATH WE DON’T WANT YOUR MONEY I CAN COMPREHEND MORTICIA
WAITING FOR A LOUSY, ROTTING, FESTER/ANCESTORS WHEN MY LIFE IS UNINSPIRED WHY DARLINGS, IT MIGHT EVEN BE TONIGHT!
VICIOUS, RANCID, GETTING MARRIED OR I NEED A LITTLE SPREE MORTICIA/ANCESTORS
FLUSHED DOWN, FETID, LUCAS I’M REBORN DREAMING DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
FRENZIED, FATAL... DEATH! SO, WE’RE GETTING MARRIED COMING AFTER ME NO ONE’S EVER BEEN IMMUNE
FESTER/ANCESTORS (spoken) MORTICIA
11. FULL DISCLSOURE, part 2 VERY MARRIED Get it? Coroner. Death is just around the coroner… TURNING OFF A RESPIRATOR
ALL(EXCEPT WEDNESDAY AND LUCAS) DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER WITH A SIMPLE CLICK
GOMEZ ARE THEY GETTING MARRIED? WAITING HIGH UPON THE HILL SCANDALOUSLY QUICK
Ooooh. That’s too dark even for us. REALLY MARRIED? SOMEONE BURIED IN AN AVALANCHE MORTICIA/ANCESTORS
GOMEZ/MORTICIA/FESTER/GRANDMA/PUGSLEY/ANCESTORS “MARRIED” MARRIED? THAT’S THE KIND OF GIG I COULD REALLY DIG I CAN FACE A NEW TOMORROW
FULL DISCLOSURE FULL DISCLOSURE! MARRIAGE OFTEN DISAPPOINTS YOU IF I MAKE IT PAST TODAY
GOMEZ MORTICIA/ALICE/WEDNESDAY/GOMEZ/MAL/ NOT EACH HUSBAND IS A GEM
WOW, THAT STORY WAS GRIM LUCAS/GRANDMA/FESTER SO, I’LL MOURN KNOWING MORTICIA
GOMEZ/MORTICIA/FESTER/GRANDMA/PUGSLEY/ANCESTORS WHAT A MISERABLE GAME DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER I FEEL GOOD SAYING DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
WE’RE TALKING GRIM ALL COMING AFTER THEM SWIFTLY ON ITS WAY
GOMEZ PLAY IT ONCE [Dance break with THE GRIM REAPER and his scythe.]
FILLED WITH FEAR AND LOATHING UP TO THE BRIM AND LIFE IS NEVER THE SAME IF LIFE’S ALL PLUMS MORTICIA/ANCESTORS
GOMEZ/MORTICIA/FESTER/GRANDMA/PUGSLEY/ANCESTORS ALICE I’LL MUDDLE THROUGH SOME DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER
THAT’S QUITE A BRIM AH AH AH AH ! BUT WHEN DEATH COMES AND YOU HAVE TO HEED THE CALL
GOMEZ I HOPE IT’S GRUESOME ANCESTORS
JUST IMAGINE BEING MARRIED TO HIM – DON’T ASK WHY
 MORTICIA FESTER
FOR YOUR DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER IT’S A
ANCESTORS FESTER/FEMALE ANCESTORS
YOU AND I DREAM THAT’S COMING TRUE
MORTICIA WHEN THE MOON SAYS I LOVE YOU
HAPPY BEING BOTH THE MOURNED AND MOURNER FESTER
ANCESTORS HOW IT CAN FEEL
SAY GOODBYE WHEN LOVE IS REAL
MORTICIA/ANCESTORS
BECAUSE DEATH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER FESTER/FEMALE ANCESTORS
COMING FOR US ALL! LA LA LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA
13. THE MOON AND ME IT’S A DREAM THAT’S COMING TRUE
WHEN THE MOON SAYS I LOVE YOU
FESTER IT’S A DREAM THAT’S COMING TRUE
WHEN THE DAYLIGHT ENDS WHEN THE MOON SAYS
AND THE MOON ASCENDS FEMALE ANCESTORS
I WOULD RATHER BE “I LOVE YOU”
JUST THE MOON AND ME FESTER
WHEN I FEEL HER PULL OOOOH!
THEN MY HEART IS FULL
AND THE NIGHT IS SOFTLY SWEETLY CALLING, 14. HAPPY/SAD
“FESTER, LOOK AND SEE”
GOMEZ
LA LA LA LA LA LA RIGHT AND WRONG
LA LA LA LA WHO’S TO SAY
LA LA LA LA LA WHICH WE SHOULD REFUSE?
IT’S A DREAM THAT’S COMING TRUE ALL WE KNOW
WHEN THE MOON SAYS “I LOVE YOU” LOVE SURVIVES
FESTER EITHER WAY WE CHOOSE
THOUGH I’M TOLD IT’S WRONG HERE YOU ARE
WHEN I SING MY SONG AT THE EDGE
SHE ACCEPTS GO AHEAD AND FALL
SHE ATTENDS DON’T RESIST
SHE BELIEVES I INSIST
SHE BEFRIENDS LOVE STILL CONQUERS ALL.
LA LA LA LA LA LA It even conquered you, my little Attila. You’re growing up.
LA LA LA LA WEDNESDAY
LA LA LA LA LA And you’re cool with that?
FEMALE ANCESTORS GOMEZ
OOH LA LA LA Yes and no.
OOH LA LA LA
OOH LA LA LA I’M FEELING HAPPY
OOH LA LA LA I’M FEELING SAD
A LITTLE CHILDISH

Bebe Neuwirth
 Nathan Lane

A LITTLE DAD AND WITH MY KNIFE

I THINK OF ALL THE DAYS YOU’VE KNOWN BUT CAN I LIVE AS YOUR TORMENTOR AND YOUR WIFE?
ALL THE WAYS YOU’VE GROWN
SEE YOU ON YOUR OWN AND THEN WHEN I AM CRAZIER THAN YOU
I’M FEELING HAPPY AND SAD AGAIN I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU
AND NOTHING UP ‘TIL NOW HAS PROVED ME WRONG
I THINK I’M RESTED I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU
BUT THEN I’M TIRED THAT’S JUST THE OVERVIEW
TODAY REQUESTED SO GET ON BOARD OR SIMPLY MOVE ALONG
TOMORROW FIRED LUCAS
AND NOW A BOY SAYS HE ADORES I’M NOT IMPULSIVE
SHE WHO ONCE WAS YOURS WEDNESDAY
HOW CAN I IGNORE SUCH NEWS? AND YET I TRULY LOVE YOU
I’M SAD AND HAPPY LUCAS
WHY SHOULD I CHOOSE? I’M NOT DERANGED
WEDNESDAY
LIFE IS FULL OF CONTRADICTIONS I’D NEVER ASK THAT OF YOU
EVERY INCH A MILE LUCAS
AT THE MOMENT WE START WEEPING BUT IN THIS MOMENT
THAT’S WHEN WE SHOULD SMILE I FEEL I’M CHANGED
IN EVERY HEAVEN I WANNA CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST, GO TO MOZAMBIQUE
YOU’LL FIND SOME HELL I WANNA BE IMPULSIVE
AND THERE’S A WELCOME WANT TO BE UNIQUE
IN EACH FAREWELL CAN YOU BELIEVE I MEAN IT WHEN YOU HEAR ME SHRIEK?
LIFE CAN BE HARSH, THE FUTURE STRICT I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU
WHO WOULD DARE PREDICT I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU
AND THE BOY YOU’VE PICKED? AND NOW I’LL PROVE TO YOU
NOT BAD. EXACTLY HOW
SO LET’S BE HAPPY I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU
FOREVER HAPPY I’LL DO WHAT YOU CAN DO
COMPLETELY HAPPY FROM HERE ON IN
AND A TINY BIT SAD I GIVE MY SOLEMN VOW
WEDNESDAY
15. CRAZIER THAN YOU PLUCK THE ARROW FROM ITS QUIVER
HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND, BE BRAVE
WEDNESDAY LUCAS
ONCE I WAS HOPEFUL PIERCE THE APPLE NOT THE LIVER
THOUGHT WE WERE ONE OR WE’RE DANCING ON MY GRAVE
LIFE, LESS THAN PERFECT WEDNESDAY
FINALLY BEGUN PLACE IT IN THE BOW AND STEADY
BUT, NOW I WONDER LUCAS
ARE WE UNDONE? CAN’T YOU SHOOT THAT THING ALREADY?!?
WEDNESDAY
I WANNA TREASURE YOU I’M GONNA DEMONSTRATE THAT FEAR IS MY IDEAL
IN DEATH AS WELL AS LIFE LUCAS
I WANNA CUT YOU WITH MY LOVE GIRL, BELIEVE ME
FEAR IS YOUR APPEAL GOMEZ FESTER YOU’VE A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN
WEDNESDAY Love of chocolate?? You must love chocolate, everybody loves Did I just hear the word ‘love’? AND SO WE’LL DO THE BEST WE CAN
‘CUZ IN THE MOMENT THAT YOU’RE FRIGHTENED chocolate!! Say you do. Say it!! (sings) BY GOLLY AND BIPARTISAN!
LIFE IS REAL MAL LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING OLD
LUCAS CAN’T WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT – MAL PLEASE DON’T LEAVE US OUT IN THE COLD
THEN MY LIFE MUST BE REAL REAL! GOMEZ OF ALL THE SCAMS I’VE EVER HEARD MAL
BOTH LOVE IS ELATION LOVE’S THE ONE THAT’S MOST ABSURD. CAN’T WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE
AND IN A FLASH LIKE AN ORATION FESTER GOMEZ / FESTER / MAL
WHEN YOU/I RELEASE AND SEAL THE DEAL LOVE SPEAKS TO US IN TONGUES LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE BUT LOVE –
BOTH NATURAL AS TEETHING MAL BUT LOVE –
I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU SIMPLE AS BREATHING AND LOOK WHAT GOOD IT’S DONE. BUT LOVE!
I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU AIR IN THE LOVE-STARVED LUNGS NOT FOR ME, NOT MY SON.
AND NOTHING HURTS ME LOVE LOOKS AT US AND SIGHS FESTER 17. LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT
WHEN I HEAR YOU SAY MAL BE PATIENT AND SOON THE WAY WILL BE CLEAR ANYTHING ELSE BUTLOVE (REPRISE)
I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU THAT’S ALL A PACK OF LIES GOMEZ
PSYCHOTICALLY INTO LOVE IS A FICTION FOCUS YOUR FEAR GRANDMA
AND THAT IS ALL I NEED TO FACE THE DAY LIKE AN AFFLICTION FESTER Did I just hear the word “love?”
I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU LOVE IS AN ANCIENT CURSE AND TROUBLES ALL WILL DISAPPEAR BUT LOVE
I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU POSING CONTENTMENT GOMEZ BUT LOVE
AND LIVE OR DIE, I’LL LET YOU HAVE CONTROL CAUSING RESENTMENT LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE NOTHING BUT LOVE
I’M CRAZIER THAN YOU FULFILLMENT IN REVERSE FESTER LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE
SO SAY YOU LOVE ME, TOO LOVE IS A DISMAL THING WHY NOT TALK IT OUT? CHACK-A-LAKA
FROM HERE ON IN YOU’RE SINGING TO MY SOUL GOMEZ MAL CHACK-A-LAKA-LAKA
MY SOUL! Mal! WHY SHOULD WE FIGHT? LET’S SING! IT’S HARD FOR ME TO SHOW, YOU SEE GOMEZ AND FESTER
(speaks) MY MOTHER DIDN’T KNOW, YOU SEE LETS NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE
16. LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING And you know the only thing better than singing? GOMEZ GRANDMA
ELSE BUT LOVE MAL LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE SHALL WE TALK ABOUT
What? FESTER BEATING HEARTS?
MAL GOMEZ LOVE CAN BANISH DOUBT GOMEZ AND FESTER
CAN’T WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE? Singing and dancing! MAL DO!
GOMEZ (sings) I’M AFRAID OF A TOUCH GRANDMA
Love, that launched a thousand ships? LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE I DON’T LIKE IT SO MUCH BODY PARTS?
MAL WORTH REPEATING GOMEZ AND FESTER GOMEZ AND FESTER
PLEASE LET’S TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE HOLD ON TIGHT OOOH!
GOMEZ MAL SAY GOOD NIGHT GRANDMA/GOMEZ/FESTER
Love, that causes war and famine? Why? BUT DON’T DREAM OF PRACTICE IN THE CONJUGAL ARTS
MAL GOMEZ STARTING A FIGHT LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING WEIRD
CAN’T WE SPEAK ABOUT REAL ESTATE LIFE IS FLEETING AND LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE BRAVING CHANGE OR
GOMEZ PLEASURES COME GRANDMA
Love of wife? PLEASURES GO SINCE THE DAWN OF MAN BEGAN SHAVING MY BEARD
MAL LOVE CAN COME AND GO IN ONE THROW EVERYONE HAS HAD A PLAN GRANDMA/GOMEZ/FESTER
WATERGATE LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE FROM ANCHORAGE TO AFGHANISTAN LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT LOVE
GOMEZ BUT LOVE FESTER GRANDMA
Love of children? BUT LOVE IMMORTALIZED BY PAUL CEZANNE I’m old but I’m not dead!
MAL BUT LOVE - GOMEZ AND FESTER GRANDMA/GOMEZ/FESTER
SEASONAL FLUCTUATIONS IN THE PRIME INTEREST RATE [FESTER pops his head through the door.] JUST LIKE AN ORANGUTAN BUT LOVE
GRANDMA AND FINALLY I CAN STOMACH SUSHI
Yeah! Give it to me boys! BUT, MY DEAR CAN’T WE SEE EYE TO EYE IF TIME IS TICKING BY
GRANDMA/GOMEZ/FESTER ALICE AND OVERSIMPLIFY THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY
BUT LOVE OH MAL - LET’S LIVE BEFORE WE DIE TO FACE IT AS A PAIR
YEAH! MAL AND DANCE AND DANCE
NOW IT’S CLEAR MORTICIA
18. IN THE ARMS ALICE You think you’re pretty charming, don’t you? MORTICIA
BIG MAL GOMEZ ALONE
MAL MAL/ALICE You used to.
Something happened, Alice. Something weird and wonderful. MY LOVE FOR YOU IS ENDLESS MORTICIA GOMEZ
I HEAR A MUSIC I HAVE NEVER HEARD BEFORE MAL Oh, that was yesterday. What about tomorrow? ALONE
I FEEL THE WAVES THOUGH I AM NOWHERE NEAR THE SHORE IN THE ARMS GOMEZ
IN THE ARMS OF A SQUID ALICE My darling – don’t let’s ask for the stars when we have this BOTH
I TOUCHED MY SECRET LONGING IN THE ARMS big lovestruck moon. WE’RE LOST
ALL EMBRACED AS I FACED MAL MORTICIA WE’RE DRIFTING OUT TO SEA
A WORLD BOTH WARM AND NEW OF A SQUID I’VE NEVER BEEN INCLINED TO LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND MORTICIA
IN THE CHARMS OF A SQUID ALICE GOMEZ BUT SIDE
I LOST MY INHIBITIONS OF A SQUID LET’S STAY RIGHT WHERE WE ARE AND DANCE GOMEZ
AND FOUND MY LOVE FOR YOU MAL MORTICIA BUT SIDE
I WAS DARED IF LIKE A CASTANET WE’LL CLICK WITH NO REGRET BOTH
AND IN THE ARMS ALICE GOMEZ BY SIDE WE’RE GLOOMY AS CAN BE
OF A SQUID YOU WERE DARED LET’S FIND THE EVENING STAR AND DANCE GOMEZ
ALL TENTACLED AND SQUISHY MAL MORTICIA AS GLOOMY AS CAN BE
REARRANGED AND I DID! THE PLACE IF YOU CAN TAKE MY HAND
I WAS CHANGED ALICE GOMEZ THEN SURELY WE CAN STAND
BY SOMETHING SORT OF FISHY GOD, YOU DID! THE PLACE TO LIVE BEFORE WE DIE
FOR AT ONCE BOTH MORTICIA/GOMEZ MORTICIA
AS I HUGGED AND I FOUND MY LOVE FOR YOU! WE’RE IN AND DANCE
A THOUSAND CUPS OF SUCTION CAN NEVER BE WHAT WAS
I FOUND MY LOVE FOR YOU 19. LIVE BEFORE WE DIE MORTICIA 20. TANGO de AMOR
‘TIL WE
WHO’D HAVE GUESSED THAT I’D DISCOVER GOD GOMEZ GOMEZ 21. MOVE TOWARD THE DARKNESS
CUDDLING WITH A TWO-TON CEPHALOPOD! LET’S LIVE BEFORE WE DIE ‘TIL WE
ALICE LET’S LAUGH BEFORE WE CRY MORTICIA/GOMEZ GOMEZ
IN THE ARMS OF A SQUID LET’S HOLD EACH OTHER TIGHT BEGIN TO DO WHAT DANCING DOES RIGHT AND WRONG
AND DANCE GOMEZ WHO’S TO SAY
MAL LET’S TRY BEFORE WE FAIL DON’T LEAVE ME HIGH AND DRY WHICH WE SHOULD REFUSE?
I WAS SAVED AND BORN ANEW LET’S FLY BEFORE WE BAIL BUT CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I SAY ALL WE KNOW
ALICE LET’S KEEP THINGS BLACK AND WHITE LIVE BEFORE WE DIE LOVE SURVIVES
SHE SAW YOUR SOUL AND DANCE MORTICIA EITHER WAY WE CHOOSE
MAL Has anyone ever told you you move like a corpse?
SHE SAW MY SOUL THE WORLD WE SEE GOMEZ
ALICE CAN ONLY BE OUR FRIEND Thank you. I studied with Lurch.
SHE TOOK CONTROL IF YOU AND ME KEEP DANCING
MAL ‘TIL THE END
SHE TOOK CONTROL
WHERE, YOU ASK, [As FESTER disappears from view, we transition to the Music And Lyrics by Andrew Lippa
DO WE GO graveyard at dawn.]
Publishing: Lippa Songs( ASCAP)
WHEN THE WORLD’S NOT RIGHT? ANCESTORS
YOU AND I MOVE TOWARD THE DARKNESS
“Addams Family Theme” by Vic Mizzy
WE REPLY: ADDAMS, BEINEKES
SOMEPLACE OUT OF SIGHT MOVE TOWARD THE DARK Published by Unison Music Company (ASCAP).
[Stepping from the shadows, LURCH speaks his first words ever.] ANCESTORS Administered by Next Decade Entertainment, Inc.
LURCH WELCOME IN YOUR PAIN All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
MOVE TOWARD THE DARKNESS ADDAMS, BEINEKES
WELCOME THE UNKNOWN WELCOME IN YOUR PAIN THE ADDAMS FAMILY – A New Musical opened at the
FACE YOUR BLACKEST DEMONS ANCESTORS Lunt-Fontanne Theatre, New York City, on April 8, 2010.
FIND YOUR BLEAKEST BONE LET EACH FOREIGN FOREST
LOSE YOUR INHIBITIONS ALL Produced for Records by ANDREW LIPPA
LOVE WHAT ONCE WAS VILE OFFER YOU ITS RAIN Recorded and mixed by Frank Filipetti at MSR Studios, NYC
MOVE TOWARD THE DARKNESS AND SMILE ONLY AT OUR LOWEST
Additional Recording: Alex Venguer
MORTICIA/WEDNESDAY CAN WE RISE ABOVE
MOVE TOWARD THE DARKNESS ADDAMS/BEINEKES
Production Manager: Jill Dell’Abate
ANCESTORS MOVE TOWARD THE DARKNESS Assitant to Andrew Lippa: Regina Elliott
MOVE TOWARD THE DARK ANCESTORS Pro-tools operator: Derik Lee
MORTICIA/WEDNESDAY MOVE TOWARD THE Assistant Engineers: Danny Irizarry, Missy Webb, Peter Wolford
DON’T AVOID DESPAIR ALL Mix Assistant: Ryan Kelly
ANCESTORS MOVE TOWARD THE DARKNESS
Cue Mixers: Brian Pugh, Chris Soper
DON’T AVOID DESPAIR GOMEZ/MORTICIA
Technical Engineers: Brad Leigh, Ian Kagey, Hyomin Kang
MORTICIA/WEDNESDAY MOVE TOWARD THE DARKNESS
ONLY AT OUR WEAKEST AND- Mastered by Scott Hull and Scott Hull Mastering, NYC
ANCESTORS LURCH Recorded, April 19, 2010.
AT OUR WEAKEST LOVE
MORT/WEDS/ANCESTORS ANCESTORS/ADDAMS/BEINEKES A & R Direction: Brian Drutman
CAN WE LEARN WHAT’S THERE LOVE Executive Producer for Decca Label Group: Chris Roberts
GOMEZ/MORTICIA/MAL/ALICE/LUCAS/WED LOVE Creative Direction: Fanny Gotschall
WHEN YOU FACE YOUR NIGHTMARES LOVE Package Design: www.Clark-Studios.com & Fanny Gotschall
THEN YOU’LL KNOW WHAT’S REAL GOMEZ
Package Coordination: Rafaela Hernandez
GOMEZ/MORTICIA/WEDNESDAY/LURCH/ANCESTORS Are you unhappy, my darling?
MOVE TOWARD THE DARKNESS AND FEEL MORTICIA A & R Administration: Evelyn Morgan
(blissful) Business Affairs: Sheryl Gold
[FESTER appears, wearing a leather flight helmet and goggles. Oh yes, yes. Completely. Production Photographs: Joan Marcus
He has a rocket strapped to his back. Everyone watches FESTER fly ALL Cover Design: Serino Coyne
off towards the moon, waving to his family back on earth.] LOVE. Cartoons: ©Charles Addams with permission Tee and Charles Addams Foundation
LURCH
AH AH AH AH AH For THE ADDAMS FAMILY
LURCH/ FEMALE ANCESTORS
Company Manager: Sean Free
AH AH AH AH AH
LURCH/ALL
Production Supervisor: Beverley Randolph
AH AH AH AH AH General Management: 101 Productions, Ltd. / Wendy Orshan, Jeffrey M. Wilson, David Auster, Elie Landau
Press Representative: The Publicity Office / Mark Thibodeau, Jeremy Shaffer
 ANDREW LIPPA THANKS:

Brian Drutman and Chris Roberts and everyone at Decca Broadway, Kevin
Miserocchi and the Tee and Charles Addams Foundation, Lynn Mizzy Jonas,
Next Decade Entertainment, MSR Studios, Roy Furman, Wendy
Orshan, the Nederlander Organization and everyone at the Lunt-Fontanne
Theatre, Broadway in Chicago, our spectacular cast, crew and orchestra.

Larry Hochman, August Eriksmoen, Annie Kaye and Doug Houston, Regina Elliott,
Michael Keller, Chris Fenwick, Damien Bassman, Mark Sendroff, Olivier Sultan and CAA.

To Frank Filipetti for shining us up

To Mary-Mitchell Campbell for leading the troops to victory. Done
(wait for it) and done. To Will Van Dyke for endurance, patience and
endless dedication.

To Stuart for his vision. To Marshall and Rick for their wit and heart
(or “wart”). To Phelim for an open space. To Julian for that ukulele.
To Sergio for the 5-6’s. To Beverley for the calm. To Jerry for that
final push toward the darkness.

To my husband David for his enduring support. One, two, three.

(top row) Terrence Mann, Carolee Carmello, Zachary James; (middle row) Wesley Taylor, Kevin Chamberlin, Jackie Hoffman;
(bottom row) Krysta Rodriguez, Bebe Neuwirth, Nathan Lane, Adam Riegler [Photo: Matt Hoyle]