Fortean Times 2016-07

monsters on
the prowl... malaysian malaise mass hysteria hits more schools

social media spirits the world's first facebook séance
hull's 'old stinker' & the
werewolf of worcester ministry of fear british men in black encounters
THE
W O
angel W RLD’S
THE WORLD OF STRANGE PHENOMENA WWW.FORTEANTiMES.cOM
haunted hearths • japanese penis parade • killer camel • inflatable
EIRDE
ST
THE WORLD OF STRANGE PHENOMENA www.ForTeanTimes.com NEWS
FT342 july 2016 £4.25
ghost hunting in the
House of
suicides
how a famous
ghosthunter's
very first case
nearly proved to
be his last...
whines
and spirits
calling time on a pair
of pub hauntings
the haunted
gogglebox
the highs and lows of
paranormal television
Fortean Times 342
monsters on
the prowl... malaysian malaise mass hysteria hits more schools
social media spirits the world's first facebook séance
hull's 'old stinker' & the
werewolf of worcester ministry of fear british men in black encounters
THE
WO
angel WE RLD’S
THE WORLD OF STRANGE PHENOMENA WWW.FORTEANTiMES.cOM
haunted hearths • japanese penis parade • killer camel • inflatable
IRD
THE WORLD OF STRANGE PHENOMENA www.ForTeanTimes.com NEWSEST
FT342 july 2016 £4.25
ghost hunting in the
House of
suicides
how a famous
ghosthunter's
very first case
nearly proved to
be his last...
whines
and spirits
strange days
calling time on a pair
of pub hauntings
the haunted
gogglebox
the highs and lows of
paranormal television
Contents
Hull’s ‘Old Stinker’ and the Werewolf of Worcestershire,
bolshy beaver and other animal attackers, sight regained,
dragons debunked, penises on parade, cloud seeding, sex
doll surprise, teapot cult leader dies – and much more.
05 THE CONSPIRASPHERE 23 MYTHCONCEPTIONS

the world of strange phenomena 13
14
SCIENCE
ARCHAEOLOGY
25
26
ALIEN ZOO
NECROLOG
15 CLASSICAL CORNER 28 THE UFO FILES
features
cOVER STORy
30 GHOST HuNT AT THE

‘HOuSE OF SuiciDES’
Andrew Green began his career as a ghost hunter in 1944
while still just a teenager – but his first investigation of a
haunted house nearly proved to be his last. ALAN MuRDiE
digs into the strange history of 16 Montpelier Road.
30 GHOST HuNT AT THE ‘HOuSE OF SuiciDES’ 36 THE HAuNTED HEARTH

Andrew Green’s mysterious photograph from a dangerous haunted house In an extract from his new book, SD TucKER examines the
ever-burning issue of spook-haunted fireplaces, ovens and
chimneys.
42 THE GHOSTS OF THE OSTRicH iNN

DR TOM LicENcE goes in search of the grisly story behind
a haunted inn, and asks whether or not such imagined
histories both keep ghost stories alive and shape our
interpretations of strange phenomena...
48 THE SPEcTRE OF THE FERRy bOAT iNN

RObERT HALLiDAy pops into one of Cambridgeshire’s most
historic inns for a pint and a spot of ghost hunting – but is
this classic pub haunting all it’s cracked up to be?
TORU YAMANAKA / AFP / GETTY IMAGES
LEON NEAL / AFP / GETTY IMAGES
forum
53 Social media, cyberspace and spirits by CM Saunders
54 Ghosties and ghoulies and low lighty beasties
56 POWER TO THE KiNG! 6 PRiVATES ON PARADE by Stu Neville
Leicester city’s football fairy tale japan’s phallus festival
56 Power to the King! by Rob Gandy
HERBERT GEHR / THE LIFE PICTURE COLLECTION / GETTY IMAGES
reports
17 MALAySiAN MALAiSE
BOB RICKARD reports on an outbreak of mass hysteria
KATRINA ELSKEN / OKEECHOBEE NEWS
76 STORiES FROM THE iLLuSTRATED POLicE NEWS

No 48. Lively goings-on at a trance show
regulars
02 EDITORIAL 75 IT HAPPENED TO ME
13 RAiN MEN 10 i WAS bLiND buT NOW i SEE 59 REVIEWS 79 PHENOMENOMIX
Weather modification old and new Amazing stories of sight restored
71 LETTERS 80 STRANGE DEATHS
COVER: ETIENNE GILFILLAN. THANKS TO ELI WATSON

FT342 1
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020 7907 6000 dennis.co.uk
it’s because, as Peter haunting) is the smell of
circUlAtioN mANAger SAleS execUtiVe
JAmeS mANgAN brAdleY beAVer Brookesmith argues rotting flesh that moves
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dennis.co.uk
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dennis.co.uk
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DiSTRiBUTiOn inch; both tendencies, one suspects, act as a Sarah told us, everyone in the area knows the
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2 FT342
DVD
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a digest of the worldwide weird
strangedays
Tall, dark and fearsome that they were supernatural
beings, which took the form of
werewolves. When people would
glimpse what they thought were
the rear lights of a car in front, it
‘Old Stinker’ roams the Yorkshire Wolds, plus the Werewolf of Worcester would instead reveal itself to be
the red eyes of a wolf.”
Over the past few months, there • Robert Ingram and wife
have been at least seven reported Nicola were driving past the
sightings of an 8ft (2.4m) hairy National Trust property of Croom
creature around the Barmston Court near Pershore in south
Drain, a 23-mile (37km) -long Worcestershire at 1am one night
water channel built in 1798 to in early April when they spotted
dry out salt marshes, today an a creature on the road ahead, its
abandoned industrial area near eyes reflecting the headlights.
the town of Beverley outside Hull “We’d heard rumours about an
in the East Riding of Yorkshire. escaped panther in the area,
One woman saw it from a bridge but we’d thought it was a load of
across the Drain last December. nonsense,” said Mr Ingram. “But
“It was standing upright one when I saw this animal with my
moment,” she said. “The next it own eyes, I was stunned. It was
was down on all fours running enormous, far too big for a fox or
like a dog. I was terrified. It a dog. It must have weighed about
bounded along on all fours, then 9 stone [57kg] – about the same
stopped and reared up on to its as a slim adult. It looked right at
back legs, before running down The sightings have been linked legend of a werewolf called Old us and walked up to the car. It
the embankment towards the to the legend of Old Stinker, said Stinker – a great hairy beast was as tall as our car window. It
water. It vaulted 30ft [9m] over to roam the Yorkshire Wolds, an with red eyes, who was so called then lowered the front of its body
to the other side and vanished up area of beautiful countryside because he had bad breath,” said and looked like it was going to
the embankment and over a wall north of the Barmston Drain. author Charles Christian, author pounce. We just slammed the car
into some allotments.” More specifically, the beast of A Travel Guide toYorkshire’s into reverse and went as far as we
A couple said they saw is supposed to stalk the Wold Weird Wolds, who said sightings could. I was so scared I fumbled
“something tall and hairy” next Newton Triangle, allegedly a went back centuries. “It was to get my phone out to take a
to the Drain, apparently carrying window area for ghosts and known for the wolves to dig up picture, but we’d already driven
a German shepherd dog in its other paranormal activity near the corpses from graveyards. quite far away.There was no way
jaws.They stopped to get a closer Scarborough. “There is the From that sprung the idea you were going to get me to go
look and saw it jump over an 8ft near it again to take a better
(2.4m) fence before vanishing picture. It was terrifying.”
into the night, still carrying its The couple later made a
prey. Another woman walking her sketch of what they were certain
dog spotted something “half man, was a black ABC (alien big cat).
half dog” in the distance. She However, the pencil drawing
was terrified and her dog began appears to show an animal with
shaking and refused to go any almost human like traits: big
further along the path. Witnesses eyes, eyebrows, a long nose and
said that when the creature full set of teeth. It appears to be
transforms, its upper body is standing upright like a humanoid
more wolf than man – similar creature, rather than crouching
to the beast in the American like a cat.The beast also had
Werewolf films. Hull historian protruding, pointed teeth and
Mike Covell and associates were fearsome, sharp cheekbones.The
planning a “werewolf hunt” press dubbed it the “Werewolf of
with cameras and recording Worcester”. Was it like the one
equipment at the next full Moon. apparently lurking round the
cateRs NeWs ageNcy
Local Labour councillor Steve Yorkshire Wolds over 150 miles

Wilson said: “I am happy to keep to the northeast? Well, possibly…
a diary of sightings by people telegraph.co.uk, 7 April; Hull Daily
around here and report them to Mail), 6 + 24 May; Sunday Express,
Hull Council.” TOP: Barmston Drain. TOP: Worcestershire witnesses Robert and Nicola Ingram. 15 May; D.Mail, 16 May 2016.
4 Ft342
aNimal faNcY iNflatable
attacks footwear aNgel
Bad-tempered Time-travelling Sex doll’s
beaver, sole mummy found surprise visit
vs whale, killer wearing Adidas causes confusion
camel and more trainers? on remote island
Page 8 Page 14 Page 24
The Conspirasphere Extra! Extra!

even presidential hopefuls play the area 51 card these days. Noel rooNeY watches the
mainstream media musing on conspiracy theory and serving up gratuitous Nazi stories.
FT’S FavOuriTe headlineS
FrOm arOund The WOrld
Hillary clinton’s stuttering election increasing traction among a growing
campaign received a lift, albeit of a number of people, in a culture that can be
marginal kind, when she announced, on characterised as much by distrust as any
a tour of talk shows, that if elected she other vice or virtue.
would release documents about area 51. so a story circulating online, and
Whether this will glean her more votes from recently picked up by the Daily Mail, is a Gulf News, ––Mar 2015.
trump or sanders supporters is a subject propinquitous example of what the media
for speculation, though this writer favours mavens think the public wants to hear
trump (only in this very singular respect, about. Peter Lohr, a retired mechanical
obviously). Her pledge didn’t just get the engineer, has been talking about possible
conspirasphere excited; the mainstream Nazi nukes hidden in the Jonas Valley in Guardian, 23 April 2015.
rippled with the news too. thuringia, for some years; now he claims
In the sphere, opinion was split between to have firm evidence that the bombs exist,
those who saw it as yet another sign that and he knows where they are.
the bastion of the elite was crumbling, It’s not clear how Mr Lohr knows that two
and those who saw it as simply a ruse to of the five metal objects he has located
cover the real conspiracy surrounding those in a cave by means of radar actually are
D.Telegraph, 15 May 20125.
pesky emails. some in the mainstream atomic bombs (are they all always the
took it as an opportunity to muse on the same shape?), but it is true that the Jonas
subject of conspiracy theory in general; like Valley was the scene of frantic activity in
george Johnson, of the New York Times, in the later years of WWII and was of great home.bt.com (British Telecom News online),
21 May 2015.
a piece called Why We Keep Dreaming of interest to the allies.
Little Green Men (spoiler alert: Mr Johnson I’m tempted to propose that this story
never actually tells us why). breaching the mainstream is also a side
Johnson’s article is not the typical application of godwin’s Law (the law
tin-foil-hat mockery. He has clearly done that states that all Internet arguments
a modicum of research, enough at eventually resort to mentioning Hitler); the
least to realise that academia Mail certainly manages to approach the
takes an interest in fulfilment conditions on a regular basis.
conspiracy theory, and this offshoot could be stated as: all
to understand that it newspapers eventually find a reason to
is a coherent system of run yet another Nazi story.
thought. What is perhaps Incidentally, Johnson’s New York
more interesting is his Times article includes this passing
familiarity with a whole swathe of comment: “there is no good word, Sunday Times, 17 May 2015.
conspiracy memes, and, critically, at least in english, for conspiracy
his assumption, evidenced by the theorising”. so, can any Ft readers
in-jokes that decorate the story, rise to the challenge and come up
that his readers are at least as with a suitable term? see the editorial
knowledgeable as he is. page for further details and the chance
He gives a brief (and broadly to win a year’s supply of tin-foil.
accurate) potted history of
conspiracy theory as his readers www.nytimes.com/2016/05/15/opinion/ Queensland Times, 25 April 2015.
ceNtRaL PRess / getty IMages
will understand it, and even offers sunday/why-we-keep-dreaming-of-little-

a justification for the paranoid style green-men.html?ref=opinion&_r=1
as a viable choice of standpoint
in a confusing and implicitly www.dailymail.co.uk/news/
treacherous world. this is not a article-3594579/engineer-claims-adolf-
story about the fringes of society; it’s Hitler-s-secret-NUcLeaR-BOMBs-german-
about a belief system that is gaining cave-warns-decay-chernobyl-hands.html
(Queensland) Sunday Mail, 3 May 2015.
Ft342 5
PRIVATES
ON PARADE
Shinto believers carry portable shrines
bearing giant phalluses through the streets
of Kawasaki, a suburb of Tokyo, during this
year’s Kanamara Festival (‘Festival of the
Steel Phallus’) on 3 April 2016. The festival
is centred on the Kanayama Shrine where
the penis is venerated, celebrating a legend
in which two women fashioned an iron
phallus to defeat an evil demon. Originally a
small local festival, this year’s annual event
attracted more than 20,000 people. Other
attractions include vegetables carved into
penises and phallus-shaped candy snacks.
PHOTOS: TORU YAMANAKA/AFP/GeTTY IMAGeS
FT199 7
strangedays
SIDELINES...
POP GOES THE WEASEL
In the early hours of 29 April,
BEASTLY BEHAVIOUR biting beaver, flatfish vs
whale and suicide by lion
the Large Hadron Collider on

the outskirts of Geneva was climbing a tree, though as is well
put out of action when a fouine known, even a tree can provide
(beech marten, a member of only temporary sanctuary from
the weasel family) chewed a determined wood-chomping
through wiring connected to a mammal. lsm.lv (Latvian radio,
66,000-volt transformer. CERN Riga), 21 April 2016.
said the LHC was expected
to be out of action for several NAMIBIA’S GOAT-SUCKERS
days. In 2009 it was shut down Unknown predators that
by what was suspected to be a reportedly devour and suck
bird, though no remains were blood from livestock have
found. BBC News, 29 April; haunted villagers at Onheleiwa,
Guardian, 30 April 2016. Oidiva and Oikango of
Ongwediva constituency in
KOCA SULEJMANOVIC / AFP / GETTy IMAGES
RUDE AWAKENING
Namibia. Over the years, untold
An Australian couple woke
up in the middle of the night
numbers of goats have been
on 17 August to find a naked killed and exsanguinated.
stranger asleep beside them. Villagers are convinced that the
The intruder, a 25-year-old predators have something to
Irishman, had climbed into do with witchcraft. They once
their beachside house in accused an elderly man who had
Sydney through a window left a house at Onheleiwa village
ajar for their cat. They called and his sister who had a house
the police, but the man began above: If you meet an aggressive beaver, the advice is to run away and climb a tree. at Oikango village of being the
convulsing and was taken owners of these strange, blood-
to hospital to be treated for sucking beasts. Police were
“possible drug-related health
issues”. (Sydney) D.Telegraph,
BEWARE BEAVER!
Inna Plavoka, editor of the The vicious called to Onheleiwa where on
several occasions they followed
18 Aug 2015.
WELL, STONE ME
Latvian daily paper Seychas,
rang Latvian Radio 4 to relate swamp-dweller footprints larger than those of
a dog. “We followed them but
Tracey Emin, 52, enfant ter-
rible of Brit Art and “professor
the following tale of woe. Late
at night, a man referred to was holding they walked until a spot where
they just vanished,” said Oshana
of drawing” (!) at the Royal
Academy of Art, has married
only as Sergei was walking
the streets of Daugavpils, the Sergei hostage police spokesperson Christina
Fonsech. “It’s difficult to
a large rock in her garden country’s second-largest city, explain what happened to those
overlooking the sea in France, when a beaver emerged from the footprints because they looked
while wearing her father’s shadows and sank its teeth into of them. After subjecting the as if [whatever made them]
white funeral shroud. “It’s not his leg. He tried fighting back Good Samaritan to a breathalyser climbed onto something but it
going anywhere,” she said. and fell to the ground. It bit him test, the police reluctantly was in an open space.”
“It will be there, waiting for again whenever he tried to get accompanied him to the scene Olivia Shikongo had her
me.” FT has previously noted up. The vicious swamp-dweller of the crime, where they called whole kraal wiped out by the
women marrying the Berlin Wall was holding Sergei hostage. for backup from animal welfare creatures, leaving her with only
in 1979 and the Eiffel Tower in Desperate, he called rescue officers who arrived to negotiate two kid goats. All that was left
2008 [FT240:22]. D.Telegraph, services on his mobile phone – a peaceful resolution to the were traces of hooves and heads,
23 Mar 2016. but unsurprisingly they thought hostage situation. The beaver while other goats had their
it was a prank call and hung – a protected species in Latvia stomachs cut open and had no
up. Sergei then phoned a friend – made good its escape, while intestines or liver. Shikongo lost
and was at first met with similar Sergei had to have 15 stitches in a total of 11 goats in two nights.
incredulity and enquiries as to his leg. The villagers that claim to have
his state of mind, but eventually Mihails Pupiņš, director of seen the predators said they
managed to persuade said friend the Daugavpils Zoo, said that look like tigers. Although they
to come to his rescue. However, in spring beavers could indeed were scared for their lives, they
en route to the scene, the latter be very aggressive as males said they understand that the
was pulled over for speeding. The are driven out of their lodges animals do not attack human
police were of course sceptical in search of new homes. They beings. “If you find them at
MARTIN ROSS
of the friend’s explanation that routinely cross cities, and if they night, they just sit still on the
he was rushing to the aid of a encounter humans perceived as side of the path and wait for you
stricken friend held hostage by a a threat they mount an attack. to pass by,” said one.
single beaver – not even a gang Pupiņš advised running away – or In the early hours of 21
8 FT342
strangedays
Jesus, and taunted the lions to

SIDELINES...
attack him. Zookeepers initially AQUATIC PREDATOR?
sprayed the lions with a hose as On Leap Day (29 February) a
they mauled the intruder and then mysterious predator mauled
fired a tranquilliser dart – but it and killed 64 chickens and
missed and instead hit the young ducks in Xuanqiao Town, close
man in the neck. They were then to Shanghai Wild Animal Park
obliged to shoot two of the lions in China. Feathers and flesh
dead in full view of a large crowd. were scattered on the ground
When he was rescued, Ferrada and iron fences were knocked
Roman was found to be carrying a down. Footprints indicated
suicide note, which made allusions a web-footed animal with
to the Apocalypse. He was said to four toes on each foot. They
be in a ‘grave’ condition, having certainly weren’t dog prints,
suffered severe pelvic and head and the bites were bigger than
those made by a dog. The
above: The sole’s tail sticking out of the dead pilot whale’s blowhole. injuries as well as a tranquilliser
animal park claimed that no
overdose. The dead African lions,
animal was missing. journal.
April 2016, something killed eastern UK. No one knows what a male and a female, had been at
com, 2 Mar 2016.
and exsanguinated five goats the whales were doing so far from the zoo for more than 20 years.
in Ondeihaluka. The animals their usual home in the North The zookeepers were “deeply EDINBURGH’S RED
belonged to Selma Nandjaya, and Atlantic – perhaps they were affected” by the undeserved GUARDS
were killed in the same fashion as driven there by noise pollution. deaths. dailymail.co.uk, 22 May; When Imogen Wilson, 22,
many others in the area around They soon vanished, but a badly D.Telegraph, 23 May 2016. raised her arms in disagree-
Ongha since 2000. Two of the goats decomposed pilot whale washed ment at a council meeting of
were bitten from behind, gutted up on the Dutch coast six weeks CAMEL GETS THE HUMP Edinburgh University Stu-
and had some of their intestines later, with a common sole (Solea On the evening of the same day dents’ Association (EUSA),
removed. The other two were solea) stuck in the blowhole. This that Ferrada Roman made his she was subjected to a vote
bitten and gutted, but no organs was the first record of a pilot suicide bid, a camel in Rajasthan’s on whether she should be
were removed. Two other goats whale suffocating on a fish since Barmer district in India severed removed for violating a “safe
were missing. Villagers were sure 1581. Three weeks later, another its owner’s head in anger. Urjaram space environment”. She was
the killers were not dogs. “Come dead whale appeared: “When was entertaining guests at his allowed to stay by 33 votes to
on my brother, is this a dog’s I got to the beach the second house in Mangta village when he 18, but was later threatened
spoor? And what kind of dog sucks time,” said Dutch post-mortem suddenly realised that his camel with another vote after shaking
her head in disagreement.
blood?” asked one villager. You researcher Lonneke IJsseldijk, had been out in the heat all day
D.Telegraph, 4 April 2016.
will notice that every place-name “I saw this tail sticking out of the with its legs tied. When he went
mentioned begins with ‘O’ – but blowhole and I thought: ‘no way!’.” to untie the furious animal, it DEAD CAT MIX-UP
this is probably neither here nor New Scientist online, 24 Nov; Metro, “lifted him by the neck and threw One morning in January, Matt
there. http://2.bp.blogspot.com, 21 26 Nov 2015. him to the ground, chewed his Strong, 35, met a woman 30ft
Nov 2015; namibian.com.na, 22 body and severed his head” said (9m) outside his house in
April 2016. IN THE LIONS’ DEN fellow-villager Thakara Ram. It Manchester, carrying his tabby
On 21 May, Franco Luis Ferrada reportedly took 25 villagers six cat Gus, which she said had
BLOW ME! Roman, 20, forced his way into the hours to calm the animal down. been the victim of a hit-and-run
Two pilot whales were killed in lions’ cage in the Metropolitan Apparently, the camel had form, driver. Mr Strong buried the cat
the space of weeks by flatfish Zoo in Santiago, Chile, stripped having attacked Urjaram in the in his back garden, but when
1,000 times smaller in a “Jonah- naked, shouted something about past. Times of India, 23 May 2016. he returned home in the after-
meets-David-and- noon, he was stunned to find
Goliath” struggle. Gus with his brother Ralph.
The giant mammals The dead cat, he said, “looked
choked to death exactly like Gus, right down to
trying to eat the the bits of fur it had missing
from fighting.” D.Telegraph, 26
tiny fish, which
Jan 2016.
became trapped
in their blowholes GODFATHER MOMENT
as they attempted A man walking through
to escape. The Harlem River Park in Manhat-
events took place tan at 11am on 28 February
in November 2014, discovered a severed horse’s
when a pod of 30-40 head in a cardboard box. It was
long-finned pilot recalled that two goat heads
whales (Globicephala had been found hanging from
melas) was spotted a streetlight in Brooklyn back in
near the coasts of November 2014. Both events
Belgium and the above: Franco Luis Ferrada Roman threw himself to the lions; sadly, they paid the price for his actions. remain unexplained. NY Daily
News, 29 Feb 2016.
FT342 9
strangedays
SIDELINES...
HIDDEN EXTRA
Lindsay Hasz bit on a purple
Worms
MEDICAL from
BAG the skies amazing cases of recovered sight and a
lost sense of smell caused by snakebite
pearl worth £400 in her frutti leads to guide dogs, which blackly
di mare starter at an Italian humorous event we have recorded
restaurant in Issaquah, in these pages at least four times.
Washington State. It had In one of our favourite cases,
come from a Quahog clam Edwin Robinson (pictured below
and was almost perfectly in a Timex watch ad), blind and
spherical. komonews.com, deaf following a road accident,
24 Feb; Sun, 26 Feb 2016. regained both sight and hearing
JAILER JAILED nine years later, after being struck
Diana Franklin has been by lightning [FT53:29]. Swede
jailed for 190 years in Geor- Henry Wahlburg was blinded
gia, USA, after locking her when a fishhook stuck in his eye
adopted daughter naked in as a child. In 1981 his sight was
a chicken coop without food. restored when a tree branch went
She also tied the girl by the into his bad eye. Another Swede,
neck to a tree and subjected Gun Thoresson, 43, had been blind
KATRINA ELSKEN / OKEECHOBEE NEWS
her to shocks with remote- since she was 20. When her dentist
controlled dog collars. She extracted three heavily filled
adopted the girl aged 10 in molars, her sight was restored; her
2007. Now 18, the daughter erstwhile blindness was possibly
said she was ‘tormented’ explained by ‘oral galvanism’ – a
by the Bible-quoting Franklin small electric current set up in the
until social workers found mouth between dissimilar metals
her in 2012. Metro, 10 Dec [FT43:32]. A man blinded in one
2015. eye following a shrapnel wound
CAMBERWELL WARNED above: Mary Ann Franco, who was blind for 21 years, with her brother, Rocky Powell, in WWII regained his sight after
Magistrates fined Kingdom
and her 20-year-old cat, Mr Rip, whom she had just seen for the first time. being head-butted by a racehorse
Church in Camberwell, south in the same location on his
SIGHT RESTORED
London, £7,740 for disturb-
ing neighbours with noisy Mary Ann Franco, 70, went Doctors are forehead 64 years later, in October
2006 [FT224:10]. For other cases
uncertain how
“witchcraft” healing ceremo- completely blind after suffering a of ‘miraculous’ restoration of sight,
nies every Saturday at 3am, spinal injury in a car accident 21 see FT57:31, 93:19, 98:19, 139:14,
years ago and had long since given
the ‘miracle’
“a well-known time that witch- 144:12, 208:12, 257:11, 277:16.
craft and negative elements up hope of ever being able to see
again. Recently, she suffered further BOTH BLIND AND SIGHTED
happened
begin to work,” according to
Bishop Climate Wiseman, injuries following a fall down stairs A blind woman left doctors
who told councillors they at her South Florida home and in stunned when she could suddenly
faced the wrath of God. “you April underwent an operation to see again after “switching
watch and see,” he said. alleviate neck and arm pains.When personalities”.The German
“Strange things are going to she awoke from surgery, she shocked patient, referred to only as B.T.,
happen.” D.Telegraph, 19 relatives by saying simply: “Lady, was diagnosed with so-called
Mar; D.Mirror, 2 April 2016. you with all that purple on you, cortical blindness after an
come over, give me something for accident in 1999 appeared to
the pain.” Now she is getting used to damage the part of her brain
seeing the world around her again; responsible for sight when she
even her childhood colour-blindness was 20.The now 37-year-old
has disappeared. She was able to also has dissociative identity
see her seven grandchildren and disorder (DID), where multiple
two great-grandchildren for the first personalities battle to control
time. Doctors are uncertain how her personality. In total, she has
the ‘miracle’ happened, but they 10 personalities, doctors treating
speculate the car accident might her reported. During treatment
have left damage that restricted for this disorder something
blood flow to the part of the brain Dick Roberts, blinded since an remarkable happened: while she
that controls vision, which the attack by thugs in 1981, regained was in her teenage boy personality,
operation inadvertently corrected. his sight after tripping over his her ability to see returned. Over
“I’ve never seen it, never heard dog and banging his head on a the course of the therapy, she
of it,” said neurosurgeon Dr John cupboard door [FT42:5]. Other regained her sight while in eight
Afshar. Sky News, 7 May; Sunday head-banging ‘miracles’ are out of 10 of her personalities.The
MARTIN ROSS
Telegraph, 8 May 2016. typically caused by tripping over woman’s vision turned on and
10 FT342
strangedays
off “within seconds”, depending SIDELINES...

on which personality she was
experiencing, the doctors treating HANGING AROUND
her reported in PsyCh Journal. Three masked men stunned
They now believe her blindness passengers when they stuck
is not caused by brain damage but giant meat hooks into their
own backs in a metro carriage
is instead psychosomatic. German
and suspended themselves
psychologists Hans Strasburger
from overhead handrails, leav-
and Bruno Waldvogel, who
ing them dangling in mid-air
conducted the study, used an EEG
on the train in Novosibirsk,
to measure how the visual cortex south-central Russia. “They
of her brain responded to visual were pierced before the event
stimuli. It found when the patient by a professional, not on the
DIEGO DELSO
was “blind”, her brain did not metro,” said event organiser
respond to the imagery, but while Alexander Kazakov. Metro, 2
in a “sighted” personality state, Feb 2016.
she had normal measurements. At above: Pseudechis australis, the largest terrestrial venomous snake in Australia.
the time of her initial diagnosis, ANNIVERSARY SHAKE
her health records show she because of his weak vision and called anosmia. However, the A magnitude 3.8 earthquake
was given vision tests involving “autonomic vasomotor neurosis”. examination of his nose and struck east of Anchorage in
special glasses, lights and lasers, His psychogenic amblyopia lasted nervous system revealed no other Alaska on Easter Sunday, 27
which all pointed to blindness. 52 years until he was afflicted with abnormalities, which meant his March – the 52nd anniversary
As there was no physical damage amaurotic blindness in his left eye anosmia did not have a structural of the devastating magni-
to her eyes, it was assumed that owing to an attack of glaucoma cause and therefore most likely tude-9.2 Good Friday earth-
quake that reshaped the south-
the vision problems must have that had not been treated in resulted from the snakebite. He
central Alaska landscape, the
come from brain damage caused time.The vision of his right eye has since regained some of his
second strongest quake ever
by her accident. When she was increased again for the first time to sense of smell, but it has not been
recorded. Alaska Dispatch
referred for psychotherapy 13 0.1 (10%), but remained reduced fully restored. “As far as I know, News, 27 Mar 2016.
years later, she was found to have owing to a brunescent cataract. he is still affected but somewhat
more than 10 personalities, all of Psychother Psychosom Med Psychol. improved,” said Kenneth D Winkel, CAMP FEAR
a different age, gender and varied 1995 Mar-Apr;45(3-4):131-3. a toxicologist at the University of Australians are paying about
temperaments. Some personalities Melbourne in Australia, who co- £50 for a camping trip where
even communicated in different DOESN’T MAKE SCENTS authored a report on the case. people jump out at you and
languages, a phenomenon thought While he was washing his hands The snake that the man chase you with chainsaws and
to be linked to when she lived at a roadside restroom, a 30-year- had kept in the jar was sent axes after an evening watch-
in an English-speaking country old Australian man was bitten to the Queensland Museum’s ing horror films. Horror Movie
as a child. Four years into the on two fingers by a snake. A local herpetology department, where Campout hires about 16 actors
treatment, while in an adolescent resident trapped the reptile in it was identified as a mulga to roam the site in character
male state, she saw a word on a sink and killed it. The victim snake (Pseudechis australis), the with the aim of scaring as
the cover of a magazine. We preserved it in a jar of alcohol, largest terrestrial venomous many people as possible. Last
should point out that DID is a and shortly afterwards went to snake in Australia. Although March, the organisers were
the emergency department of a expecting 1,000 punters at
controversial diagnosis, believed mulga bites can be deadly, the
Mount Penang Parklands near
by some to be the result of years regional hospital. Doctors found most recent fatality was more
Sydney. (Queensland) Sunday
of abuse, while others believe it to that he had temporary problems than 40 years ago. Effects on the
Mail, 13 Mar 2016.
be a cultural invention driven by with blood clotting, too much nervous system have rarely been
therapists. dailymail.co.uk, 25 Nov; protein in his urine and blisters reported following mulga bites;
blog.sfgate.com, 27 Nov 2015. that oozed with a clear liquid. however, cases of long-term and
He stayed at that hospital for permanent anosmia attributed
PSYCHOGENIC BLINDNESS three days, during which time to bites by other types of snake
Corporal H.M. was detailed to he was given medication to have been reported; this is said to
shoot Jews as a member of a prevent the bite wound from “uncommon, but not rare”. In a
firing squad in 1941 during the becoming infected, but his doctors previous study done in Australia,
German advance in White Russia. considered his symptoms “mild researchers examined the effects
On the night before he was due to enough to not warrant anti-venom of bites from the red-bellied black
take part in shooting practice, he administration”. snake (Pseudechis porphyriacus),
became blind in his right eye and, A few days after his release, he and found that one in 57 affected
as a right-handed marksman, was noticed his sense of smell began patients developed anosmia. P.
no longer able to shoot properly. to deteriorate, and within weeks porphyriacus belongs to the same
He was transferred to the front, he completely lost the ability family as the mulga snake, called
where he was wounded. He to smell. A year later, when he elapids. It is not clear whether
spent 18 months in military and went to a neurology clinic at St administering anti-venom soon
MARTIN ROSS
civil hospitals and a sanatorium Vincent’s Hospital in Melbourne, after a person is bitten might help
until he was discharged from the tests confirmed that he was unable prevent anosmia. livescience.com, 3
army in the middle of the war to detect smells – a condition Mar 2016.
FT342 11
strangedays
NEW NORSE
Playing God
Elfdalian, a rare language an indian devotee dressed as
from the Viking Age, will be krishna participates in a religious
the sole language spoken to procession at the ram navmi
children attending the new festival in amritsar to commemorate
nursery school in Alvdalen, the birth of hindu deity rama.
central Sweden, the only Photo: narinder nanu/afP/getty
images
community that still uses
it. Elfdalian is believed to
be the closest descendant
of Old Norse, spoken more
than 1,000 years ago. At the
moment, only about 2,500
people can speak it, fewer
than 60 of them children. Pu-
pils will continue to learn the
language until they turn 18.
BBC News, 17 Mar 2016.
LONG-LOST LITERATURE
An unknown passage from
the Mesopotamian The
Epic of Gilgamesh has been
found, adding 20 lines to the
4,100-year-old poem. The
cuneiform tablet had been
bought by the Sulaymaniyah
Museum in Slemani during
the Iraq War, as part of an ini-
tiative to save artefacts from
the black market. It gives new
details about the arrival of
the Sumerian king Gilgamesh
and his companion Enkidu as
they travel through the Cedar
Forest. Current Archaeology,
Jan 2016.
NO KIDDING
When police received a report
of cries from a woman in
distress at the notorious
suicide spot of the Avon Gorge
in Bristol, they scrambled a
helicopter. Thermal imaging
cameras on board quickly
revealed that the “sobbing
and wailing” was coming
from a bleating goat. Six feral
goats were introduced to Avon
Gorge in 2011 to help boost
the growth of local wildflow-
ers. D.Mail, 26 Jan 2016.
POISONOUS MONIKER
The Court of Appeal has
banned a mother in Powys,
Wales, from naming her baby
Cyanide after the poison that
Hitler took before shooting
himself. “It’s a lovely pretty
name,” she said. She also
chose the name Preacher for
the girl’s twin brother, but this
too was blocked. The mother
had a chaotic history of
mental illness and substance
abuse. BBC News, 14 April
2106.
12 FT342
SCIENCE
MATT PATTINSON
RAIN MEN
Apparently, at least one farmer
thought it worked and paid him for
his effort.
More serious statistical study
From Tibet’s shamanic cloud herders to US military experiments in cloud seeding, suggests that cloud seeding
weather modification remains an elusive scientific goal says DAVID HAMBLING. is not necessarily any more
effective than orgone energy. In
High in the Himalayas dwells a 2004, the US National Research
special type of shaman. Known as Council stated that there was no
cloud herders, they take up their convincing evidence that it worked,
watching posts on mountaintops as the success rate was 30 per
and, as well as warning of cent or less.
approaching storms, use ancient In 2014, Nature reported on
techniques to direct threatening a six-year cloud seeding study
clouds away from inhabited over Wyoming carried out by the
areas. The cloud herders start National Centre for Atmospheric
with hymns of praise to the Earth Research. The researchers
HERBERT GEHR / THE LIFE PICTURE COLLECTION / GETTY IMAGES
spirits; if these fail, they move on concluded that precipitation was

to threats, and may then drive off increased by five to 15 per cent…
clouds with a slingshot like those perhaps. When compared with
used for herding yaks. The villagers a random control area, rainfall in
believe entirely in the power of the seeded area did not show any
the cloud herders, and follow their increase. Then the researchers
instructions -- such as avoiding started excluding days where
domestic arguments -- to help the seeding coverage had not
prevent storms. been total, or where the wind was
The cloud herders are among blowing the wrong way, and the
the few remaining traditional positive results appeared. This
weather practitioners. Others are type of data cherry-picking is, of
involved in a supposedly scientific course, extremely dangerous (see
form of cloud management – but FT 341:14).
are the two as different as they ABOVE: Scientist Vincent J Schaefer conducting cloud seeding experiments at Cloud seeding with silver iodide
seem? General Electric’s labs in Schenectady, New York, in the 1950s. from aircraft or rockets is still big
Modern pluviculture – drawing in China. The technique has been
the rain – started after the Queensland with cannon, rockets strength of the hurricane. Eighty credited with ending droughts (see
American Civil War when it was and explosives. The attempt was kilos of powdered dry ice were FT137:14), and most famously it
observed that major battles a failure, and almost resulted in dropped on a hurricane in the Gulf is supposed to have kept clouds
often seemed to be followed disaster when an off-course rocket of Mexico in October 1947, which away from the 2008 Olympic
by downpours. This seemed to narrowly missed the assembled became known as the Cape Sable opening ceremony. Which brings us
be an effect of nucleation: the spectators. Hurricane. Unfortunately, when right back to cloud herding.
burning gunpowder sent large There were plenty of occasions the hurricane changed course and In his book Mindscaping the
numbers of tiny particles into the when rain did follow such activities, struck near Savannah, Georgia, Landscape of Tibet, anthropologist
air, and moisture from the clouds but it was impossible to prove a some blamed the seeding and and film-maker Dan Smyer Yu
was able to form around these direct correlation between them. threatened lawsuits. The 1952 describes a dawn excursion in the
into raindrops. When the air is Successes were celebrated – even Lynmouth flood was blamed on RAF mountains with a weather worker.
saturated with water, all that is if they were a bit too successful. cloud seeding experiments (see The scenery was invisible under
needed are these nuclei for rain In 1902, Charles Hatfield, who FT108:10). This is the perpetual a murky white blanket with no
to fall. described himself as a “moisture challenge of weather modification: chance of filming, but the shaman
In 1890, General Robert accelerator”, was paid to end it makes you legally liable for the assured Yu that he could break
Dyrenforth carried out rainmaking a dry spell in San Diego. The weather, even if the modification the fog. He chanted praise to the
experiments for the US subsequent downpour caused reduced the damage. This is as mountain spirits for 15 minutes.
government in Texas. After two flash flooding and massive big an issue as the technical Then the fog lifted and the peaks
years of explosions, his work damage. Hatfield was not paid. challenge. After Schaeffer, others emerged into the morning sun.
had produced no perceptible In 1946, American chemist and seeded clouds with a variety of Yu suggests that as well as their
improvement in rainfall. His meteorologist Vincent Schaefer materials including silver iodide, ritual value, the cloud herders’
funding was withdrawn, and stumbled on the secret of cloud which has a crystal structure actions have “external practical
the press dubbed him “General seeding when he put a block of dry similar to ice and appears to be results” and that the shamans’
Dryhenceforth”. ice into a cold box and found that particularly effective for nucleation. slingshots, arrows and sun-wheels
The ground was not dampened, his breath was condensing into The erratic and unpredictable “possess the same teleology as
but neither was the enthusiasm clouds of ice crystals. Schaefer nature of rainfall makes it modern tools.”
for rainmaking. A large numbers of went on to carry out cloud seeding impossible to tell whether a There’s an interesting challenge
companies sprang up promising experiments, dropping dry ice particular event is natural or here. Our instinct may be to accept
to produce rain on demand, from aircraft, sometimes with manmade. Radical Austrian cloud seeding while rejecting
especially in the US. There were spectacular results. psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich cloudbusters and cloud herders
plenty of colourful characters Schaeffer’s apparent success (see FT107:26-30) created a as pseudoscience or superstition,
involved, including “rain wizard” encouraged the US military to ‘cloudbuster’. This could, he and their successes as mere
Frank Melbourne who moved from carry out an attempt to damp claimed, break up clouds and coincidence. But without solid
Australia to Kansas, and British down a hurricane in Project Cirrus. produce rain by launching orgone statistical evidence, they are all
inventor “Professor” John Pepper The idea was to increase the size energy (a peculiar phenomenon on the same level from a scientific
who attempted to end a drought in of the eyewall and reduce the known only to Reich) at them. point of view. See also FT247:8-9.
FT342 13
ARCHÆOLOGY
mAtt PAttinson
PAUL SIEVEKING follows the complicated and macabre instructions used in making a “Hand of Glory”, the last
example of which resides in Whitby Museum, and admires the fashionable footwear of a Mongolian mummy.
LAST HAND OF
GLORY?
this mummified human hand
was discovered early in the 20th
century by a stonemason and
local historian, Joseph Ford, who
immediately identified it from
popular stories of such objects
WWW.BADoBADoP.co.uK
as a “Hand of Glory”. it was

hidden in the wall of a thatched
cottage in castleton, north
yorkshire, and was given to
Whitby museum in 1935, where
it can still be seen. ABOVE: the “Hand of Glory” found in the wall of a thatched cottage in yorkshire and still on display in Whitby museum.
A Hand of Glory is the
preserved hand of a hanged (preferably the winding sheet fat of a gibbeted felon, virgin shed thy light, / Direct us to our
convict, believed to have unique of a freshly buried corpse) wax, sesame, and ponie.” Zimat spoil tonight.
magical properties. it was often and, according to an old recipe is thought to mean verdigris or the Petit Albert provides a
specified as being the left (latin: published in a book from 1823: maybe the Arabian sulphate of way to shield a house from the
sinister) hand or – if the man “Pickled in salt, and the urine of iron. Ponie was thought to be effects of the Hand of Glory:
was hanged for murder – the man, woman, dog, horse and horse-dung, but in the 1752 “the Hand of Glory would
hand that “did the deed”. the mare; smoked with herbs and edition of Petit Albert, ponie become ineffective, and thieves
term derives from the French hay for a month; hung on an oak becomes sisame de Laponie, would not be able to use it, if
main de gloire, a corruption of tree for three nights running, translated in 1787 by Francis you were to rub the threshold
mandragore (mandrake). Gérard then laid at a crossroads, then Grose as lapland sesame – or other parts of the house
de nerval popularised this hung on a church door for one but this is uncertain. in one by which they may enter with
ritual object in his 1832 short night while the maker keeps version, the clenched hand was an unguent composed of the
story La main de gloire, histoire watch in the porch”. used as a candleholder for a gall of a black cat, the fat of a
macaronique (“the Hand of in a work of 1722 called candle incorporating human white hen, and the blood of the
Glory, a macaronic story”). in the Petit Albert, a variant method fat; but in another (consistent screech-owl; this substance
1973 film The Wicker Man, the of preparation is given: “take with the Whitby specimen) the must be compounded during
inkeeper tries to put sergeant the right or left hand of a felon outstretched hand had its own the dog-days.”
Howie to sleep using a Hand of who is hanging from a gibbet fingers dipped in the fat of a stories of the use of Hands
Glory. its power is such that the beside a highway; wrap it in gibbeted felon and lit. Burglars of Glory became common
innkeeper’s daughter expresses part of a funeral pall and so used the hand to ensure across europe, from Finland
concern that “he might sleep wrapped squeeze it well. then their victims fell into a deep to italy and Western ireland to
for days”. put it into an earthenware supernatural sleep. should one russia in the last 400 years.
the preparation of such vessel with zimat, nitre, salt and of the fingers refuse to light, it At least two were current in
a powerful talisman was long peppers, the whole well was a sign that someone in the north yorkshire, one relating to
complicated. First, the hand powdered. leave it in this vessel household remained awake. the spital inn on stainmore in
of an executed felon had to for a fortnight, then take it out As the baddies entered the 1797 and the other to the oak
be cut off while the body was and expose it to full sunlight property – now illuminated by tree inn, leeming, supposedly
still hanging from the gallows. during the dog-days until it the glow from the burning hand in 1824. However, the Whitby
the worse the crime, the more becomes quite dry. if the sun is – they chanted the following: hand is said to be the last in
effective the magic. once not strong enough, put it in an Let those who rest more deeply existence. whitbymuseum.
the blood was drained, the oven with fern and vervain. next sleep, / Let those awake their org.uk; ancient-origins.net;
hand was wrapped in a cloth make a kind of candle from the vigils keep, / O Hand of Glory, D.Express online, 27 Oct 2015.
MUMMY WEARING ‘ADIDAS SHOES’

Archæologists have found mummified human remains thought to be 1,500 years
old interred at an altitude of 10,000ft (3,000m) in mongolia’s Altai mountains.
in what more excitable commentators see as evidence for time travel, the
feet appear to be in a pair of trainers with the iconic three-stripe logo of the
German sportswear brand Adidas. the experts, of course, have reacted to
such speculation with raised eyebrows and sighs, but nevertheless find the
discovery just as exciting. “this person was not from an elite, and we believe it
was probably a woman, because there is no bow in the tomb,” B sukhbaatar,
a researcher at Khovd museum, told the Siberian Times. “now we are carefully
unwrapping the body and once this is complete the specialists will be able to
speak more precisely about the gender.” sukhbaatar added that it was the “first
complete turkic burial, at least in mongolia… a very rare phenomenon. the grave
was three metres deep.” Metro, 12 April 2016.
14 Ft342
CLASSI CAL
him out of the game, smashed-in face,
bulbous nose, weeping eye.You name
it.Yes, but he was a GLADIATOR!”
You’d expect passions of all kinds to
run high. Amazingly, not so at Rome.
CORNER
The Colosseum’s one recorded riot was
over bread shortages, not sport. Circus
Maximus was equally quiet. Mimes
(pop stars) were the ones that caused
trouble.
FORTEANA FROM THE ANCIENT WORLD COMPILED BY BARRY BALDWIN One provincial exception was the
brawl (AD 59, Tacitus, Annals, bk14
ch17) with its “appalling slaughter”
200: THEIR SPORTING LIFE of visiting fans from neighbouring
Nuceria – a local derby run riot. Nero
(Titular inspiration from David Storey) episodes ‘Blood & Sand’ and ‘Gods of the and the authorities responded with a
“When a small boy, we puzzled over Arena’. 10-year closure of the arena – FIFA,
inconsistencies in the Bible, sometimes Lanistæ were also allowed to referee take note.
puzzling right through a game of baseball” matches. EPL bosses, of course, try to do The Colosseum’s calm may be a
– Fort, in Jim Steinmeyer’s The Man Who that from their technical areas. They and tribute to its tightly organised system
Invented the Supernatural (2008, pp20-1) fans alike would often appreciate the of all-ticket admission and seating –
Not many celebrity gladiatorial Roman technique of flogging or branding hard to headbutt or hotleg a rival fan
manager/trainers in Rome. Of the players thought not to be pulling their while sedentary.
few on record (there’s not a single weight. Modern-style hooliganism infested
autobiographical inscription), earliest Petronius (Satyricon, ch45) has a punter early Byzantine chariot racing. Instead
(105 BC) is Aurelius Scaurus, at Capua in bemoaning “some clapped-out fighters, of Robert Mancini-like scarves,
southern Italy. they’d have collapsed if you’d blown on the fans wore billowing cloaks,
A generation later, also at Capua, came them, hamstrung the lot, deserved the long moustaches and beards, ‘Hun’
the only famous one, Lentulus Batiatus, flogging the fans shouted for,” contrasting hairstyles (short front, long back),
accidentally immortalised (like Pontius this fiasco with another show that was “a giving ‘fascist’ salutes while chanting
Pilate) because in charge when Spartacus regular slaughterhouse, bang in the middle their particular songs, for example
and team-mates staged their 73 BC where the stands could see it.” “Burn Here, Burn There! Not a Blue
breakout – clearly Batiatus had lost the No shortage of WAGS. Pompeian graffiti (or Green) anywhere! – their version of
dressing room. (CIL 4. 4289, 4342, 4356, 4397, 8915, 8916) You’ll Never Walk Alone (or Again).
No chance of being ennobled, as have fighters Celadus and Crescens In the ‘Nike (Victory – they were not
Sir Alex. The lanista – Etruscan for complimented as “Fascinators and Lords rioting over trainers) Revolt of AD 532,
‘executioner’, according to 7th-century of all the girls, just what the ladies need the two main fan groups (Blues and
etymologer Isidore of Seville (now patron at night...” Modern thoughts turn to John Greens) joined forces – can’t see this
saint of the Internet) – was (along with Terry and company, though I’ve a sneaking happening in Glasgow or Manchester
pimps and slave dealers) the most despised suspicion the blokes may have written – destroyed much of Constantinople,
figure in society – “the most contemptible these up themselves. and almost toppled emperor Justinian
and vilest of men” (Seneca, Epistles 87. 15) Perhaps not always, Juvenal (elsewhere until he (urged by empress Theodora,
– debarred from holding public office and deploring topless women beast-fighters his ‘Iron Lady’) sent in the troops to
similar disqualifications. – they’d fill a modern stadium) explodes massacre the mob.
Still, Batiatus has had his modern (Satire 6 vv82-110) over senator’s wife Nowadays, British grounds seem a
moments in the sun, played in Spartacus Eppia eloping with a gladiator: “What did lot tamer than back in the 1970s and
by Oscar-winning Peter Ustinov, also she see in him? Her Sergius was no spring 1980s. Fashions change. Byzantine
reincarnated in the telly-Spartacus chicken, 40 if a day, a dud arm about to put fan violence melted away, to the
point where Blues and
Greens were singing
together in massed
choirs at court (imagine
veteran Millwall
Nutters chanting at
a Royal Command
Performance), plus
surrogates of re-
enacting such sporting
abstrusities as ‘The
Gothic Game at the
Feast of the Nineteen
Beds,’ about which our
ignorance may be bliss.
More details in my
‘Sports Fans of Rome
and Byzantium’,
Liverpool Classical
Monthly 9 (1984), pp28-
Hulton ArcHive / Getty imAGes
30 – surely the right city

to publish it in. Thought
this adumbration might
add some ‘Sporty Spice’
to the Column – always
did have a weakness for
Melanie Chisholm...
Ft342 15
strangedays
SPECIAL REPORT
MALAYSIAN MALAISE recorded in this ‘second stage’ –
e.g. the shape had an “ugly and
hairy” face – could well have
been influenced by those heard
BoB rickard INVESTIGATES A RECENT OUTBREAK OF MASS HYSTERIA IN A
from pupils at the other schools
NUMBER OF MALAYSIAN SCHOOLS IN KELANTAN STATE or from the press reportage.The
unnamed Kemunin boy cited
The latest flap of schoolroom above added: “I also had the
hysteria began on Monday, 11 experience of being attacked
April 2016, in the coastal city during forms one and three at
of Kota Bharu – the capital PC2, but now, after attending
of Kelantan state, bordering PC1, the ‘disorder’ happened
Thailand on the far northeastern less often.”This too could be
coast of the Malaysian peninsula. significant as it hints firstly at
It continued through the week, previous outbreaks (which were
in which time it spread to officially denied), and secondly
three neighbouring secondary highlights the mobility of
schools. All of this occurred in students in the neighbourhood as
the same fortnight that brought a vector for stories and rumours.
Malaysians a heatwave, the birth Another factor in these outbreaks
of a “human-faced goat baby” may have been the publication of
and reports of an “amok man” a dubious photograph, allegedly
attacking statues of the Nine- taken by a student.
Planet-gods in a Hindu temple.
appariTions
The kick-oFF We don’t know whether it was
That morning, around 25 female ABOVE: Pengkalan Chepa 2, the Kota Bharu school where the outbreak began. the girls or the press who first
students in Pengkalan Chepa used the emotive term pontianak
2 1 – a secondary school in the
The crying
the left side of my body”. A (see panel over page). Certainly
Pengkalan Chepa district of similar sensation was reported this word is headlined in The Star
and swooning
Kota Bharu – experienced panic by another teacher, Kamariah printed on the 19th, presenting
attacks in which some of them Ibrahim, who said she tried to interviews with two of the girls.
claimed to see malevolent spirits. recite verses from the Qur’an One, 17-year-old Raja Nor Atirah
The crying and swooning spread
through the school from class to
spread through when she realised that she was
losing control of herself. “I saw a
Hurmaishah, is introduced
as having been “possessed
class, ‘infecting’ other students.
Estimates of those affected
the school black figure… trying to enter my
body… I felt like my head was
by a pontianak” after she saw
‘something’ in the school toilet
ranged from 75 to 100 students bloating. I was numb and tears on Wednesday.The girl, from
and 11 teachers.Two days later, glimpsing a disturbing figure kept pouring down my face”. Form Five at PC2, said: “I could
on Wednesday, pupils and staff or feeling a sinister presence to She “silently recited the Ayatul not believe what I saw. Both my
were sent home and the school a sense of being under attack. Kursi 4 over and over again, then arms began to go numb and then
closed. At this point similar One of the few male students my head began to feel lighter my mind went blank and I was
phenomena were reported from affected told Sonar Harian that after about an hour.” frozen on the spot. I tried to call
the three other schools within a he felt a numbness in his hands out for help but could not open
three-mile (5km) radius. while his mind “was all over the iT spreads my mouth. After that everything
What actually happened is place”. Significantly, while many Inevitably, the incident triggered went dark.” She then “thanked
difficult to determine, as media reported feeling paralysed or outbreaks in the three other God that I did not jump off the
reporting was restricted, vague “pinned down” there are hardly neighbourhood schools. At school building”. She has since
and sometimes contradictory. 2 any descriptions of the entity Pengkalan Chepa (PC1), the had nightmares and a desire
Shortly after the mid-morning inflicting this oppression. initial reports were almost “to skip school in fear of being
break, according to the Malay- The tension also spread to identical to those from PC2. A possessed again”.
language newspaper Sonar some teachers. Norlelawati male Form Five student (i.e. The cultural reference to
Harian, a boy student returning Ramli, 32, said that as she aged between 16-17) at PC1 a black possessing figure,
from the lavatory claimed he was tending to a student who said six female students started mentioned in reportage, is to
glimpsed a black shape in the complained of seeing demons, screaming after seeing a “black a vengeful, vampiric female
corridor. Another edition of the her own arms felt heavy as shape”. At Kemumin (K) 20 girls demon – called, in Bahasa
same paper said that a student though “something” was pinning aged 16 collapsed “en masse”; and Melayu, a pontianak – a popular
“claimed to have seen aliens her down. She told the Astro at Kubang Kerman 3 (KK3), in feature in traditional Malay
in an empty classroom”. 3 The Awani news channel that she the south of the city, there were ghost literature.The figure is also
majority of reports said students recited the Quranic prayer 30 more cases before the week an ubiquitous meme in Asian
became frightened after seeing Istighfar until things calmed was out.The outbreaks at these social media sites in the form of
“a black figure” in a school down. By the time she was three schools were reported to stereotyped faked selfies based
corridor or in their classrooms. sent home she felt “as though have begun several days after largely upon the tragic character
The story soon mutated from someone was hanging on to that at PC2.The descriptions of Sadako from Japanese horror
FT342 17
strangedays SPECIAL REPORT
film The Ring (1998).This visual so ugly that I went into fits and
reference became evident when felt paralysed, like I was being
some papers published a photo pinned down by an unseen force.
of a generic school corridor In both cases, I fainted for several
with what looks like a hooded hours [and] later was revived by
black figure peering around a an ustaz in the school.”
pillar. Despite the lack of any These incidents occurred
corroboration, the proximity of during the previous two years,
this image to reports of actual when Atikah was in Forms
incidents underway would have Three and Four. From this we
resonated with young people can infer that there was a prior
throughout Southeast Asia.This history of mass hysteria in
local reportage undoubtedly schools in the area, and in this
heightened anxiety by treating school in particular.This is of
the apparition as real, as well interest because according to
as the spiritual danger posed ABOVE: A photo shows a dark figure lurking behind a pillar in a school corridor. Siti Hawa Mat, the principal
to the students by possession. The image was first posted on Twitter by Malaysian journalist Phillip Golingai, who of PC1’s sister school, PC2 had
Officially, the word ‘exorcism’ is claimed that it had been taken by a student. no such antecedents; she told
not used but, nevertheless, media Free Malaysia Today that “this
reportage is full of references to was the first such case that
‘spirits’ and ‘possession’ and to disobedient and sometimes throw The Unseen Force happened at the school since
Quranic prayers that could be their rubbish around the school Significantly, the Kelantan it was built in 2001”.There is
construed as exorcism. grounds. Perhaps they hit some experiences form a pattern obviously a difference between
The BBC reported that a djinn and offended the spirits,” in which the school lavatories the subjective views of those who
senior school staff member at he speculated.The schools did were associated with a demonic experienced the ‘attacks’ and the
PC2 confirmed to them that what they have traditionally done assault that left students fainting objective views of those who were
“our students were possessed in similar cases in the past. After and paralysed. Another Form observers.
and disturbed [by these spirits]” sending everyone home, pupils Five student, Fatin Nor Atikah, A 35-year-old Thai bomoh
and that staff were baffled by and staff were, later, called back at PC1, told The Star that she had from Sungai Golok – who only
the cause. “The school was old,” for counselling and prayers by twice before been possessed in wanted to be known as Tok
he said. “These children can be ustaz and ustazah. 5 the lavatories. “The spectre was Wan Mat – said that “during my
THE GENESIS OF A VAMPIRIC GHOST A third element of

the modern pontianak
is the langsuir, again a
While the Kelantan girls are said to have where this variant is Malay woman who died
been possessed by a pontianak, the called kuntilanak. in childbirth but who now
particular image they are referencing is a There is another, flies at night to kidnap and
modern conflation of the characteristics of fearsome form of devour newborn babies.
several different types of traditional vampiric vengeful, vampiric The langsuir is always
female demons from Southeast Asia, female demon, depicted as pale, with
familiarly represented by the ghost of Sadako familiar throughout floor-length black hair,
from the notorious Japanese horror film The Southeast Asia, known glowing eyes and sharp
Ring (1998). A Japanese form – the onryō as penanggalan in fangs. If her baby had also
– can be traced back to the eighth century, Malaysia (manananggal died during the birth, it
and is an archetypal vengeful female ghost in Filipino lore) from is thought to become a
with wild, long black hair that torments its a root-word meaning pontianak.
victims. It falls in the class of ghosts (yurei) ‘detach’ or ‘remove’. This cross-cultural
called inen, which possess their victims. (The Indonesian, Thai mash-up of images
The disturbing figure of Sadako – a modern and Cambodian versions is largely due to the
icon of the onry – has become a ubiquitous have their own words.) A beautiful woman by Malaysian horror film – which reached
Internet meme, especially on Asian social day, this living (i.e. not one of the undead) its peak in the late 1950s with Sumpah
sites. Google any of demon parks her lower half Pontianak (1958) and the Shaw Brothers
the words here and while her torso and head, adaptation Anak Pontianak (1958) –
you’ll come up with with entrails dangling, roams embedding these images firmly in the
pages of the same the night looking for human Malaysian imagination. This influence was
imagery featuring her blood. Like the Japanese recognised by at least one blogger – Zakiah
sinister pose and face ubume, she is always female Koya of theheatmalaysia.com, 16 April 2016:
masked by long black and is sometimes said to “As many of these [outbreaks] take place
hair, patched into the have died in childbirth; but in majority-Malay schools, some quarters
background of group unlike the ubume, who is have blamed it on Malay movies which have
portraits and selfies. solely obsessed with finding perpetuated beliefs in the supernatural.
She is also a feature, her baby, the penanggalan Malay movies on pontianaks, pochongs
now, of Hallowe’en sublimates her vengeance to [corpses in a shroud] and hantus [ghosts]
parties in Malaysia, target the living. have been money-making box-office hits.”
18 FT342
strangedays
‘conversation’ with the spirits, prolonged.”The Alor Setar case Mass hysTeria privacy non-existent. “Frustration
including pontianak and pocong of 1987, studied by Bartholomew, Southeast Asia has a long and anger can build over weeks
[corpses in shrouds], they said went on for five years. history of what academics call or months,” he said.The Alor
they would return to the school In the Kelantan case, in the ‘culturally-based psychogenic Setar girls complained of “too
to disturb the students and week following the shutdown illness’.The Malay word amok, much religion and study, and
teachers again.” His prediction of PC2, with the students and for example, is classified as too little recreation.”Typical
turned out to be correct. He said teachers affected given ‘prayer a psychiatric syndrome in manifestations of ‘conversion
some of the spirits claimed the sessions’, a reporter from the the Diagnostic and Statistical hysteria’ include shouting,
school has been their ‘home’ for Free Malaysia Today newspaper Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM- running, mental confusion,
years. “Other spirits said they who re-visited the PC2 campus IV TR), and is characterised by crying, bizarre movements,
were purposely sent by certain found outbreaks continuing to a period of brooding leading hallucinations, trance states and
individuals to create trouble for occur. He said that “screaming to a spontaneous outburst of claims of ‘spirit possession’.
the school, especially its teachers and shouting” was heard several violence against others before a Increasing numbers of
and students,” he said. times by media reporters waiting collapse into unconsciousness. education professionals seem
outside. Like ‘hysteria’, it can be a release more willing to speak out
enTer The healers On 18 April the Malaysian mechanism for internal stress on the issue – even if their
Some sources said that Education Ministry announced and conflicts. Given the extent of understanding is not taken up by
bomohs – described as Malay that they were giving the social and emotional repression the schools or the Ministry.
‘traditional healers’ and more Kelantan schools “the benefit of in some parts of Islamic society, Paul Jambunathan, a
crassly in some Western reports the doubt for cancelling classes,” the prevalence of hysterical clinical psychologist at Monash
(including the BBC) as ‘witch and asked for a “full report”. reactions is predictable. University in Petaling Jaya,
doctors’ – were also called in The Deputy Education Minister Bartholomew called the declared that not enough “stress
by school officials. One bomoh, Chong Sin Woon declined to Kelantan case “a textbook management [was] being
Wiru Sankala, sounded quite comment on the outbreak until outbreak” of “mass sociogenic taught in [Malaysian] schools or
sensible, stating that the recent the ministry was “fully briefed”, illness”. He had the opportunity universities’’. He told The Star:
hot weather and reports of the but was obviously aware that the to study several outbreaks while “When you have people in a
hysteria were perpetuating schools had brought in ustazes he lived and did research in group sharing anxiety and stress,
an existing problem: the and bomohs to “supposedly rid Malaysia, including the outbreak and… primed, without any stress-
“repressed emotions” of the school of bad spirits”. All in 1987, involving 36 Muslim coping mechanisms… all it needs
students. Significantly, the staff, Chong would say was that “the girls, aged between 13 and 17, is for someone to light the fuse.”
too – in this case, as in so many school was being afforded the in a Malay hostel at Alor Setar He added: “Seeing a [popular]
others – not only believe the flexibility to have a holiday under in the far northwestern state figure collapse or go into hysteria
supernatural lore enacted here, the same provisions the ministry of Kedah. Some of the common would have a triggering effect”.
but openly made statements would grant any other school elements that he found include Prof Datuk Dr Wazir Jahan
which reinforced the beliefs of under circumstances such as pre-existing fears or beliefs Karim, a medical anthropologist
the children. heatwaves or haze”. within the community that and founder-director of the
Often the intercessions of A letter writer to The Star allow collective delusions to Academy of Socio-Economic
the bomohs and ustazes fail. (19 April) referred to a study of form quickly and spread rapidly. Research and Analysis,
“The use of so many bomohs outbreaks among factory workers “Malays are susceptible because recommended “group counselling
and native healers can be a undertaken by Prof Datuk Ir Dr of their belief in an array of by clinical psychologists or
double-edged sword,” says Abu Bakar Jaafar, who traced spirits,” said Bartholomew. Small, medical anthropologists” first,
Robert Bartholomew, a medical the source of similar hysterics to tight-knit groups in enclosed followed by “sessions conducted
sociologist who has researched the poor diet of Malay employees surroundings such as schools, by an ustazah with a good
mass hysteria in Malaysia. 6 compared with Chinese ones. orphanages and factories are relationship with the students”.
“Especially if they fail, because The writer concluded: “I strongly particularly vulnerable to It is important, she said, “that
they legitimise the supernatural recommend to the principal of unusually high levels of stress and such sessions should not be
aspects of the outbreak. As a the school that the pupils be anxiety. Malay boarding schools held in the students’ school as
result, the outbreak is likely to be served more protein-rich food.” are sometimes overcrowded and the environment itself might
ABOVE: A teacher from Pengkalan Chepa 2 points to classrooms affected by the Pontianak panic, while a notice goes up informing pupils that the school is temporarily closed.
FT342 19
strangedays
trigger hysteria”. As the studies ‘victims’ were, because “more said that the schools should be In Malay schools – whether
by Bartholomew and others experienced and mature teachers left alone “to follow the standard for boarders or day students –
have concluded, the sooner the usually did not display such operating procedures”. pupils are strictly segregated
affected pupils are separated behaviour”. Bomohs are barely tolerated and subjected to an extensive
from each other, and calmed In contrast, Dr Wan Zumusni by the Islamic courts, and only regimen of rules governing
in a quiet place away from the Wan Mustapha from the if they behave discreetly and personal and social ‘cleanliness’.
scene of the outbreak, the sooner Universiti Teknologi Mara in within Islamic laws, because they Add homesickness, the stress of
the panic subsides.This had Seremban – who has lived and are seen as a throwback to pre- exams and youthful excitability
worked in a case Dr Karim had taught in Kelantan for 13 years Islamic paganism. Nevertheless, and you have conditions which,
studied in the early 1990s, among – voiced the view of modern bomohs flourish, servicing Malay historically, have been noted in,
young Malay girls working away rationalists when she told the society at every level from rural say, the hysteria outbreaks in
from home in a factory; but in BBC the incident “could have just kampongs to city palaces.The 16th and 17th century European
Kelantan students and teachers been brought on by heat, stress degree of ‘institutionalised’ convents.
were required to return to the or the haze”. Indeed, during superstition in Malaysian society At the end of the first week of
school for their ‘prayer sessions’. the Kelantan case, Malaysia not only fosters the conditions the outbreak, several important
Prof Wazir’s study highlighted experienced a continuous under which this type of mass announcements were made.The
two other ingredients common temperature exceeding 37˚C hysteria occurs but ensures that Chairman of School Management,
to school panics: that most of (99˚F) for 72 hours. (Star, 19 no official lesson is learned. Che Abdullah Mohamad, said
the ‘victims’ were girls and were April), which would certainly Kelantan is probably the most he had monitored the events
“finding it difficult to cope have exacerbated matters. traditional of Malaysia’s states, at the school and found “the
with their syllabus”; also they where Sharia law is paramount. situation back to normal,
were “kept on a tighter leash” The oFFicial view without any interference”.
than their male counterparts in The Malaysian educational He denied reports in English
schools or dormitories. Similar
cases can be found in other
authorities have their own
traditional response to the
The incident newspapers that the PC2
“hysterical attack” was ongoing.
Islamic countries, such as Jordan
and Turkey. Prof Wazir also noted
phenomenon of mass hysteria in
their schools.They rarely (and could have He did acknowledge, though,
the stress building towards
that in Kelantan some teachers
themselves succumbed to the
only then, reluctantly) comment
on the subject. No surprise then, been brought the coming May examinations,
and endorsed “swift action
group hysteria. She wondered
just how new or young these adult
that the Kelantan State deputy
education director, Jaafar Ismail, on by the heat by the school – including the
principle of separating students
LeeMAGe / UIG vIA GeTTy IMAGeS
ABOVE: ‘The exorcism’, by French painter Andre Brouillet (1857-1914). Musicians sing to a child in order to exorcise the djinni or evil spirit that has taken over his body.
20 FT342
strangedays
ABOVE LEFT: Collapsed girls are attended by ustazes, teachers and medical staff. ABOVE RIGHT: Frightened girls gather for prayers outside the PC1 school.
involved, which can prevent the of heart, especially girls during was said to be “more tense” the outbreaks. Besides the heat,
incident from spreading to other their menses”. Further confusion as “many were screaming and the current theory is that the
students.” was added by the Sinar Harian’s yelling for no apparent reason”. ‘bad spirits’ have been sent to
ambiguous headline: “Female Two Civil Defence ambulances the school by vengeful parents
dirTy places students are advised to keep took students to the nearest whose children were expelled
At the same time, another line of cleaning pads handy as they are government clinics and around from school.
official ‘blame’ was developing: a charm against djinn”. It is not 1,000 students were sent home
girl students’ menstruation. hard to imagine how these words early. A Form Two student said reFerences
1 The schools were designated as
The principal of PC2, Eve must have mortified the teenage the hysteria occurred, as before,
SMK Pengkalan Chepa 2 (PC2), SMK
Mat, said: “Today we carry out girls, having something so after the morning break. “This is Pengkalan Chepa 1 (PC1), SMK Kemumin
rehabilitation sessions with private (their menses) discussed much scarier than the last one. I (K), and SMK Kubang Kerman 3 (KK3).
Islamic medical nurses, including so publicly, when they were saw my classmate was screaming They are named after the city district
prayers and reading of verses already anxious about how easily at the top of her voice and was they serve and fall within a three-mile
(5km) radius. SMK is an abbreviation
from the holy Qur’an.” Again, it and quickly they were caught aggressive.” Another Form
of the Malay for Secondary (Sekolah
was stressed that this was the up in the collective panic and Three student said the hysteria Menengah Kebangsaan). I’ll use the
first incident of its kind since the lost control of their bodies and quickly spread to other students bracketed initials, above, for brevity.
school was established 15 years dignity. after two of her classmates were These particular schools take both boys
ago. Baharuddin also coordinated “possessed”, adding: “It was and girls but teach them separately. At
the centre of this outbreak, PC2, the
One of the first senior officials the “rehabilitation treatment so bad it affected all classroom
attendance of around 1,500 was divided
called in by the PC2 school sessions” at the PC2, described studies”. The principal could not almost equally between boys and girls.
was Datuk Baharuddin Abu, in the reports from Sinar Harian. be reached for comments.
2 Some reports attributed the same
founder of the city’s Islamic “Four students, accompanied by Five days later, The Star quote to different students, and some
Medical Centre Al-Qalam. 7 He two teachers, were told to take confirmed that: “Almost all attributed them to the students generally.
began by exhorting the girls to ablution and directed to sit on the students in Forms 1 to 5 Much of the local reportage seemed to
maintain their “ablutions” as mats facing Mecca. Afterwards, at PC2 have had to miss the accept the reality of the supernatural
events without question.
this was “a fortress to ward off their faces were wiped with first class period over the past
spirits” (he used the word djinn). a white cloth three times. month to dedicate the time 3 Sinar Harian, 13 April 2016.
“Spirits”, he declared, do not They seemed calm. Treatment to special prayers after daily 4 A Quranic prayer traditionally
like cleanliness, and get angry if sessions continued with the outbreaks of mass hysteria”. The recommended as a prophylactic against
djinn.
their “residences” are disturbed student lying flat. For about prayers are “to rid the school
by cleaning. “[This] results in 10-30 minutes, their stomachs of ‘bad spirits’.” Students were 5 Male and female teachers with higher
qualifications in Islamic law.
hysterical attacks”. were pressed while Baharuddin reportedly seeing pontianaks
This euphemistic phrasing read verses from the Qur’an in and pocongs before they became 6 Robert Bartholomew, Mass Hysteria in
Schools: A Worldwide History Since 1566
will be familiar to anyone aware order to draw the spirits into the “possessed”. This time bomohs (2014), co-written with FT’s Bob Rickard.
of the customs of taboo and students’ stomachs, after which from Perak state were called,
7 Al-Qalam – Arabic: a pen – being a
spiritual cleanliness, but in case the ‘creatures’ inhabiting their along with police officers, to symbol for learning, writing and wisdom.
anyone misunderstood him, bodies were finally removed into counsel the students collapsing Many Islamic institutions incorporate
Baharuddin explains: “Djinn like an empty bottle.” How this was at a rate of three a day. the word qalam into their title, especially
napkins tainted with blood as any different from what bomohs A Form Three student said: if they provide advisory services
their food and they will be drawn do was not explained. “It’s now routine for the students interpreting Sharia law.
to your own proprietary pad. to gather at the school foyer to
After all, the djinn always inhabit aFTershocks conduct special prayers. Then, soUrces
dirty places”. He also blamed Barely a fortnight passed before the girls become possessed right Astroawani (Malaysia) 14 April; Free
jealousy and envy; nor, he said, there were more outbreaks at after the 10am break.” He said Malaysia Today Online (FMT), 17+19+20+27
April; The Star Online (Malaysia),
could he rule out magic. PC2. On 5 May, several papers he is getting used to hearing 11+13+14+15+17+18+19+25+27 April,
Referring to the matter of the reported that: “More than 30 screams and shouts in school. 4+5+10 May; New Straits Times, 20 April,
dark shape, Baharuddin said that female and several male students The school administration, 5 May; D.Mail, 18 April; BBC News, The
such entities “can take a variety were again struck by the ‘body understandably, is said to be at Coverage 19 April; D.Telegraph, D.Mirror,
of shapes and approach the faint possession’.” The situation it’s wit’s end to put an end to Huffington Post, 20 April 2016.
FT342 21
strangedays
fortean follow-ups Further news updates on dog treks, attacks

on cows and cats, and post mortem sex...
CATTLE MUTILATION DOG TREKS [FT341:10-11]

[FT336:22] • On 28 May
Mysterious cattle 2007, Memorial
mutilations were Day, Doug
a major feature Harmon of
of ufology in the Scarborough,
1970s and 1980s Maine, and
(see “Poor Cow”, another man
FT68:23-29), but drowned after their boat capsized
have become far less frequent on Chamberlain Lake. The
in subsequent decades – or, at Harmon family’s dog, a four-year-
least, far less frequently reported. old black Labrador retriever
Targets for blame included called Molly, was presumed to
satanic cults, extraterrestrials have perished with the men, but
or covert government agents. over the next couple of weeks,
Last winter, two cows were she was spotted by rangers,
found mutilated in northeast campers and fishermen in various
LEON NEAL / AFP / GETTy ImAGEs
Georgia. Harold Edge found one wilderness areas stretching from

of his Black Angus cows dead Wadleigh Pond, less than 20 miles
in December and another on 6 (32km) from the Quebec border,
January, with what appeared to to Scraggly Pond some 40 miles
be a half-circle cut around the (64km) away. Fliers offering
anuses of both animals. Edge a $200 reward for her return
told the police there were no bite were placed at checkpoints
marks or indications of animal ABOVE: Actress Lynda Bellingham, enjoying an active sex life from beyond the grave. in Maine’s North Woods. On
attacks. The cuts were clean, with 15 June, Molly arrived at the
no jagged edges. Jackson County closed my eyes, luxuriating in the to have been created when gas Millinocket home of Alain and
sheriff’s Capt. Rich Lott said warmth of her low, husky voice.” seeped up from deep under Bernadette Sirois, where she
investigators couldn’t explain the He was adamant that the actress the seabed, before bursting gobbled down everything they
deaths on Edge’s pasture near had been there. “How could I through into the water above. put in front of her. Believing that
Braselton. [AP] 15 Jan 2016. have made love to my wife when The Norwegian researchers Molly belonged to a local family,
she was no longer here? But I claim such explosions could the Siroises put up “found dog”
SPECTROPHILIACS did, I was certain of it. I felt her, sink ships, and might explain posters, one of which was spotted
[FT336:12-13] saw her and heard her… What marine disappearances in areas by a woman who knew the story
The actress was so strange about the idea of such as the supposed “Bermuda of Molly and she was reunited
Lynda Lynda visiting me from the other Triangle” (a marine region in the with family members three
Bellingham, the side?”Two weeks after her death, Caribbean so named by fortean days later. Eyewitness accounts
star of Loose he believes her spirit returned writer Vincent Gaddis in 1965). suggest the dog had travelled
Women whom in the form of a white butterfly, The press presented this as a more than 200 miles (320km)
older readers which fluttered around at her new idea, but it was floated in over 18 days while putting up
might remember funeral. Every month, he speaks November 2000 following Alan with rugged terrain, thick black
as the mum in the OXO television to a medium, who he claims is Judd’s investigation of the so- flies and evading predators such
ads, died from colon cancer in adamant Lynda is still with him. called Witch’s Hole, located on as coyotes. Her safe return was all
October 2014, but over a year Sunday Mirror, 10 Jan; D.Mail, 11 the seabed 90 miles (145km) the more touching because of her
later, her husband Michael Jan 2016. northeast of Aberdeen, near close relationship with Harmon’s
Pattemore, 60, revealed in an the wreck of a steel trawler three children, ages eight, 12 and
interview with Spirit and Destiny FOREVER BLOWING BUBBLES found in one piece in the 1970s. 14. She had lost a lot of weight
magazine that he makes love to [FT143:6] D.Telegraph, D.Mail, 14 Mar 2016. but otherwise appeared to be in
her ghost in the north London flat Scientists from Research has shown that the good shape. [AP] 19 June 2007.
they had shared – or at least that the Arctic mysterious craters recently found
was his impression. Describing University of in the Yamal Peninsula and • Gidget, a seven-year-old Jack
one intimate occasion, he said: Norway have elsewhere in northern Siberia, Russell terrier, went missing from
“As her body snuggled into mine, discovered up to 200ft (60m) deep, are the her home near Philadelphia on
I breathed the familiar scent of strings of giant result of methane eruptions 22 April 2014. More than four
the woman I’d been lucky enough craters on the triggered by melting permafrost months later, she was found
to spend 10 wonderful years seabed in the Barents Sea [FT202:23]. Previous theories for wandering a suburb of Portland,
with. ‘Make love to me,’ Lynda that they believe are caused the craters, which have appeared Oregon, more than 3,000 miles
whispered, her face nuzzling into by explosions of methane. The overnight, included underground (4,800km) from Philadelphia. She
mine. Kissing her, I gazed down craters off Norway are up to explosions and meteorites. [AFP] was thin but otherwise healthy.
into those beautiful brown eyes. half a mile (800m) wide and 13 Mar; dailymail.co.uk, 13 July A microchip allowed workers
‘I love you,’ she smiled, and I 150ft (46m) deep and appear 2015. at an animal shelter to find her
22 FT342
Mythconceptions by Mat Coward
102: too soon to tell
owner. PetLink, manufactures damage as the cat is somebody’s

the microchip, paid for her flight property.”
home. irishexaminer.com, 20 Sept Between 12 February and
2014. 10 March, at least five cats in
Cinderford, Gloucestershire, were
• For four years, Kelly Booker killed or injured so badly that
was not sure whether someone they had to be put down. The
stole his beloved dog Lilly, or dead have included one headless
whether the nine-year-old Shih cat in a cul-de-sac, another with
Tzu got spooked by Fourth of its front legs missing and a third
July fireworks and never found covered in suspected bullet holes.
ILLUsTRATIONs: HUNT EmERsON

her way back to her home in “We’ve received information this
Denver, Colorado. Then in April may be part of an initiation test
2015, Lilly was found wandering for a local gang of teenagers,”
the streets of Elgin, Illinois. said a police spokesman. D.Mail,
How the dog made the 900-mile irishexaminer.com, 1 Mar; Western
(1,450km) journey was a mystery. Daily Press, 14 Mar 2016.
She had a severe ear infection
and matted fur, and had evidently BOGUS SOCIAL WORKERS
been running for some time. The [FT341:23]
animal shelter where she was The two teenage
taken found a microchip and girls who
The myth
she was reunited with Brooker. attempted to Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai – or possibly mao Zedong, or if not him,
Chicago Tribune, 7 May 2015. kidnap newborn then probably the ever-quotable mahatma Gandhi – when asked
babies using what he thought was the lasting effect of the French Revolution,
CAT ATTACKS [FT341:4] Facebook have replied “It is too soon to tell.” In doing so, he epitomised the
Since last been jailed. difference between the short-termism of Western thought and the
timeless, patient profundity of the Eastern mind.
November, 12 cats Schoolfriends Holly Kelland,
have returned 18, and Codie Farrar, 17, were
home to their sentenced to 12 months’ detention The “truth”
owners in the and training orders. Farrar, of Until recently, many of us assumed that the famous quote was
Cotswolds with Evesham, Worcestershire, said apocryphal, sitting alongside the as-yet-untraced Gandhi line, “I
think it would be a good idea,” in response to “What do you think of
patches of fur Kelland had recruited her to
Western civilization?” However, following research by historians in the
missing and Gloucestershire pose as a social worker in order
archives of the Chinese foreign ministry, it now appears that Zhou
police are investigating amid to snatch a baby. Kelland created
Enlai did indeed utter the remark – but in reply to a misunderstood
concerns that a cat shaver could a fake scan to trick people or mistranslated question. During Us President Nixon’s historic
be at large – no doubt about it, (including her mother) into visit to China in 1972, Zhou thought Us secretary of state Henry
one would have thought. The believing she was pregnant. Police Kissinger was asking his views, not on the events of 1789, but on
incidents occurred within a six- said she had a “fully equipped” “Les Evenements” of may 1968, when the French Republic was briefly
mile (10km) radius in villages nursery at her home. D.Telegraph, rocked by widespread strikes, occupations and protests. His answer
near Gatcombe Park, the 18th 21 May 2016. was therefore sensible, diplomatic, and utterly lacking in quote-worthy
century estate owned by Princess philosophical insight.
Anne. Some of the cats have been DEATH FROM ABOVE?
shaved as many as four times. [FT338:22] Sources
The latest victim was tortoishell Initial reports https://next.ft.com/content/74916db6-938d-11e0-922e-
Tippi, who had come home twice asserted that bus 00144feab49a; http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/04/23/good-idea/.
in the past two weeks with her driverV Kamraj,
fur shaved off. Owner Lysetta 40, was killed by a
Bray, 56, who lives near Chalford, falling meteorite Disclaimer
said Tippi was first targeted in Natrampalli, Is it too early to declare this story debunked? If you have reason to
just before Christmas when she Tamil Nadu, India, think so, please explain why at our own version of Democracy
came home with a shaved patch on 6 February, but the explosion Wall – the letters pages.
from her belly to her leg. Beau, a that killed him is now thought to
ginger tabby belonging to John be terrestrial in origin. According Mythchaser
Kerry in Minchinhampton, was to that paragon of reliability, Amongst the many unlikely stories told about Adolf
shaved four times in February. the Sunday Sport (14 Feb 2016) Hitler, one of our favourites has recently resurfaced: the
“An element of animal cruelty – which called him Kamaraj idea that, while convalescing from his WW1 wounds,
could be considered if the cat Prabakar, a 52-year-old father he played a game of cricket against some British
was injured or distressed,” said of three – he had just scooped PoWs, and promptly tried to change the rules to make
a police spokesman. “But if the almost £100,000 on the state the sport “more manly”. But as cricket historian simon
cat keeps coming back home lottery and was on the way to his sweetman has pointed out (The Cricket Paper, 13 may 2016),
with shaved patches, this would work to tell his boss that he was the only known source for this daft tale is a 1930 newspaper article
suggest it keeps going back to quitting when “he was hit and written by a pro-Nazi Conservative mP. Unless any reader can tell us
otherwise...
tIons tHe BooK
whoever is doing it by choice. It killed instantly by the red hot
could also be classed as criminal space rock”.Yeah, right.
Iss MYtHConCep
Don’t M BooKsHops
D In all GooD
out now onlIne an FT342 23
strangedays
Worms
Fallen angel from the skies
the arrival of an unlikely inflatable guest on a remote indonesian island
prompts misunderstandings and a visit from the mainland police
It was an auspicious event that stunned

Indonesians first and then quickly spread
globally on the Internet. Just “days after
a solar eclipse”, an angel had fallen out of
the sky into the Molucca Sea, to the east
of the Indonesian island of Sulawesi. It
was found “on a beach” by fishermen and
taken back to their village on the island of
Banggai in Indonesia.
As reported in the Malaysian Daily,
“The villagers were said to be excited
after a fisherman spotted the ‘beautiful,
lonely angel’ on the beach.” He took the
celestial beauty home to his mother, who
clothed it and set it in a chair. Regional
reportage used the Malay word bidadari
– meaning angel, but also fairy. The
villagers remained enchanted with their
divine guest until police detectives from
the mainland arrived. Police chief Heru
Pramukarno had to explain that it was a
‘Dutch wife’. “They have no Internet, they
don’t know what a sex toy is,” he told AFP,
and confiscated the angelic impostor “to
keep the false rumours from spreading.”
Once the guffaws had subsided, it was
clear that there was probably a bit more
to the story. For a start, the solar eclipse
occurred on 8/9 March – about eight
weeks earlier, not mere “days” as all the
reportage had it. This was a total eclipse
whose central track was directly over
the Sulawesi Islands, with its maximum
lasting just over four minutes at 01:59 UTC
(Coordinated Universal Time) on 9 March
2016.
Banggai Island is located in the Molucca
Sea, to the east of Sulawesi’s central
province, in the Kepulauan Banggai
archipelago. For many years it was
only accessible by local ferry services.
Modern development has been driven
by the acclaimed beauty of its reefs and
clarity of its waters, drawing divers from
all over the world. Its chief religion is above: The “angel”, respectably attired and sitting in chair, and in the hands of the police on their boat.
said to be animism, which has absorbed
elements of both Christianity and Islam. the two events were linked.” A local news every day,” and even a chair to sit on,
The Indonesian police, with their Islamic agency, Pojok Satu, cited by the Telegraph, presumably to facilitate audiences with
governance, naturally took an interest in puts another date to the discovery of the curious villagers. Inspector Pramukarno
the story, which not only had a theological “angel child” – 19 April, which is 40 days added that his men heard many local
dimension but, as they put it, talk of an – not one day – after the eclipse. “This stories about the ‘angel’ such as “[she] was
‘angel’ “might have sparked social unrest”. angel child was found face down, crying crying when she was discovered.”
From the AFP agency we learn that the and naked, covered only a white cloth,” it Many of the photos taken by the police,
fisherman who found the deflated angel reported. ‘leaked’ later, don’t seem as respectful as
the day after the eclipse is called Pardin Pardin, with impeccable native the Kalupapi villagers; once on their boat
– many Indonesians elect to go by a single hospitality, brought the doll home to his back, they couldn’t resist taking ‘selfies’
name. But such is the isolation of Banggai mother, in the village of Kalupapi, in the with the ‘fallen angel’. D.Telegraph, 1 May;
that gossip took a long time to reach the island’s southern tip. She respectfully D.Mail, 2 May; Times, BBC News, Huffington
mainland. The deeply spiritual people, says “stuffed the doll with fabric and gave it Post, Rappler (Indonesia), New Straits Times,
AFP, were “superstitious enough to believe a fresh change of clothes and headscarf Malaysian Daily, 3 May 2016.
24 FT342
ALIEN ZOO
Karl ShuKer presents his regular round-up from the
cryptozoological garden
along the distant Andru River that keen interest. The first specimen was one
wild hairy men could be found in the of several alleged winged dragons that
TODD JUrASEK AND BrIAN IrwIN
Whitman range. Belon claimed to have seen in embalmed

form while visiting Egypt, and a drawing of
No species of monkey or ape is known which he published in 1557, variations later
from anywhere in or around New Guinea, appearing in other writers’ works too. The
but there have long been reports from second was supposedly a mummified African
here of a mysterious miniature bigfoot-like dragon presented to Aldrovandi as a gift
creature known locally as the kayadi. So if by Francisco Centensis and later depicted
such a creature truly exists, perhaps this is directly by Aldrovandi’s painters in colour.
IT’S DINO-BIGFOOT! what Sangeo had been feeding. Todd and The third was also a gift, but this time from
During late December 2015 through early Brian have asked me to announce that if King Louis XIII of France to Cardinal Barberini,
January 2016, Australian cryptozoologist anyone reading this account has information and was depicted in a detailed drawing by
Brian Irwin and American cryptid investigator concerning mystery beasts from New Britain Lyncean anatomist Giovanni Faber in the
Todd Jurasek were visiting the island of New and its outlying islets, please contact them multi-authored Thesaurus of Medicinal
Britain (plus some of its tiny off-lying islets), via Todd’s email address: hunterfox743@ Treasures of New Spain (1651). None of
situated just east of New Guinea in the gmail.com Todd Jurasek, pers. comm., 27 these specimens still exists, but many of
Bismarck Archipelago, pursuing reports of Mar 2016. the illustrations of them do. Moreover, the
living dinosaurs. One of the most remarkable extensive degree of morphological detail
accounts received by them, however, may TEARING APART SOME captured in these images has enabled
well have featured something totally different PTEROSAURS Fayetteville State University biologist Dr
but no less intriguing – New Guinea’s very Based on surviving illustrations of Phil Senter, working with Indiana University
own, little-known, bigfoot. Here is what Todd the specimens in question, some comparative literature expert Dr Darius M
wrote about it in a report he sent me: cryptozoological researchers have boldly Klein, to analyse and identify with a high
speculated that certain preserved ‘winged degree of confidence these specimens’ true
Crocodile Point. Brian and I looked into dragons’ variously seen or owned by the natures – and in so doing confirm that none
a story of a man (Graham Sangeo) likes of French naturalist Pierre Belon (1517- of them was any form of pterosaur, modern-
who reportedly had fed fish to a 1564), Italian naturalist Ulisse Aldrovandi day or otherwise. Yet this fascinating study
small bipedal dinosaur for years near (1522-1605), and Cardinal Francesco has only lately attracted notable public media
Crocodile Point. The animal turned out Barberini (1597–1679), nephew of Pope attention. So what did they discover? Quoting
to be a male primate of some sort that Urban VIII, were actually recently deceased from the abstract for the Palaeontologia
walked primarily on two legs according pterosaurs. Three in particular have attracted Electronica paper in which they documented
to our guide Leo Sangeo, Graham’s their investigation, their eye-opening
father. He guided us to the cave, which findings are as follows:
is currently abandoned. Leo described
the creature as brown coloured, about Comparison with extant
1-1.5m tall, with big muscular arms animals reveals that Belon’s
and shoulders. The arms were shorter and Aldrovandi’s dragons are
than the legs and its knees and big decapitated snakes with attached
legs could be seen. The animal’s feet mammal heads. Their wings
were like a dog’s hind feet with five are the pectoral fins of flying
toes (I asked Leo repeatedly about this gurnards (Dactylopterus volitans).
feature to make sure I understood him Their ‘legs’ are the forelimbs of
correctly), it had a very small to no tail, rabbits or canids in reptile-skin
and canines like a monkey or ape. The sleeves. The dragon illustrated
creature would come down out of the by Faber and owned by Cardinal
cave at night [and] scrounge around, Francesco Barberini includes
walking on two legs at least a part the skull of a weasel (Mustela
of the time. It could be seen at times nivalis), the belly skin of a snake,
seemingly staring out to sea as if the dorsal and lateral skin of
watching the horizon. Leo and Graham a lizard, and the tail skeleton
and a few others would attach cooked of an eel (Anguilla anguilla).
fish to tall branches and lift them up These hoaxes now join the list
to it. It would then eat the food out of discredited ‘proofs’ of human-
of its hands. Leo said the animal pterosaur coexistence.
grew bigger over time. The creature
eventually brought two babies. He said After more than four centuries, a
he never saw the female. I’m not sure trio of would-be pterosaurs has been
if the others saw the female or not. torn apart by a level of deduction so
Graham discovered the creature in forensic in its detail and depth that
2011, feeding it until he left for school even the great Sherlock Holmes would
in 2014 or 2015; others continued have approved (had he ever existed,
afterward but eventually stopped and of course!). http://palaeo-electronica.
the creature disappeared. Based on org/content/2014/967-late-surviving-
the description I’m inclined to believe pterosaurs
this was a small ape of some sort, or
possibly a small bigfoot-like creature. I LEFT: Here be dragons – the beasts of Belon,
was told by at least one other person Aldrovandi and Barberini.
FT342 25
strangedays
NECROLOG This month, we bid a fond farewell to the apostate leader of Malaysia’s Sky Kingdom
‘Teapot Cult’, an artificial intelligence pioneer and the man who invented the @ sign
devotional structures whose design While freedom of worship is MARVIN MINSKY

had been divinely revealed. Ariffin guaranteed under the secular In 1958 Marvin Minsky co-founded
claimed to be able to make himself constitution since 1957 when the Artificial Intelligence Project
invisible and to kill a man using the British rule was relinquished, at the Massachusetts Institute
power of thought. the Muslim majority in Malaysia of technology (MIt), with his
In his sermons Ariffin declared is governed by sharia law and colleague John McCarthy, who
that the celestial sky Kingdom Islamic judicial courts which take is credited with coining the
had given him the power and precedence in religious matters. term “artificial intelligence”.
the right to unite people of the A particularly harsh view is taken subsequently known as the AI
world, irrespective of their religion. of apostasy in these courts, and Lab, it became a magnet for AI
Muslims were particularly outraged any attempt to renounce Islam is researchers. Prof Minsky’s works
by his claim that God was human; regarded as ‘deviant’ behaviour and included Steps Towards Artificial
that their traditional Friday prayers a criminal insult to the religion. Intelligence (1960), a manifesto
were not compulsory; and that his A number of the founders and that profoundly shaped AI in its
followers regarded him as God. In followers of sky Kingdom did earliest days, and Society of
fact, Araffin was believed to be a declared their apostasy – a very Mind (1985), which postulated
reincarnation of shiva, Buddha, dangerous thing to do – enduring that the brain is fundamentally
Jesus and Mohammed. He said the wrath of the sharia courts for an assembly of interacting,
ARIFFIN MUHAMAD his ‘inter-faith’ teaching welcomed more than 30 years. In 1986, the specialised, autonomous
was the leader of Malaysia’s members from other faiths, and terengganu state Religious and agents for tasks such as visual
‘teapot Cult’. In July 2005, a emphasised tolerance. Malay Customs Council Fatwa processing and knowledge
group of masked vigilantes – who the compound’s devotional Committee ruled that the sky management. that view of the
still have not been identified – structures were said to combine Kingdom teachings were “deviant architecture of the mind remains
raided the hill-top compound of architectural elements from and conflicted with Islam”. two a cornerstone of AI research. His
the sky Kingdom sect, smashing Islam, Christianity, Hinduism and years later, four members were last book, The Emotion Machine
and burning some of its curious Buddhism, and were inspired jailed for two years for apostasy. (2006), written for the lay reader
buildings, including giant models by the shamanic journeys (one In 2000, the Islamic Party of as much as the specialist, sought
of a teapot, vase, umbrella and report called them “dreams”) of an terrengganu moved again to close to understand how “thinking”
concrete boat which had taken unnamed follower. Quite possibly down sky Kingdom. the following works, and to explain such
years – and around RM5million this was Hassan tuhan, who saw year Ariffin himself was declared phenomena as consciousness
(approx. $1.3 million or £900,000) the originals in the celestial realm, an apostate for leaving Islam and and common sense.
– to build; see FT200:13. two including the teapot from which spent 11 months in prison in Prof Minsky had a long
days later 58 sect members were God poured his blessings as ‘holy 2001 for ‘deviant’ activities. sect friendship with the physicist
arrested; so were three of the sect water’ upon mankind. the blue member and former teacher Mrs Richard Feynman, and helped
leader’s four wives. the leader Vase receives the water and the Kamariah Ali, 57, was convicted stanley Kubrick with his 1968
himself – Ariffin Muhamad, known Well supplies the teapot. there is twice, in 1992 and 2005, for not film 2001: A Space Odyssey, for
to his flock as ‘Ayah Pin’ (‘ayah’ is a concrete boat representing the “repenting or [being] willing to which he advised (somewhat
a Malay honorific like ‘grandfather’) Bahtera Nabi Noh (Noah’s Ark); a abandon any teachings contrary optimistically) on the capabilities
– escaped and remained a fugitive golden Umbrella-shaped building, to Islam”, despite – as her lawyer of the HAL computer. An
for the next 11 years. 23ft (7m) high, representing declared – “informing the court that accomplished pianist, he
Ariffin was born in 1943 (or shelter under God and the Nine- she is not a Muslim and doesn’t delighted in improving complex
maybe 1946) into a Muslim Malay Planet gods of Hinduism. A small come under sharia court any baroque fugues – and in 1981,
family in the Beris Kubor Besar graveyard hosts the tomb of more.” And so on. wrote an influential paper on the
kampong, in Kelantan state. At Mohamad ya (11 Aug 1950 – 3 Due to a series of health connections between music,
the age of 10, he claimed that an Oct 2003) another of the sect’s problems, including a stroke, Ariffin psychology and the mind. “Marvin
angel had visited him while he was founders who had visited the sky returned in early 2016 from his 11- was one of the very few people
seriously ill. twenty years later, the Kingdom in the sky. year exile (supposedly in thailand). in computing whose visions
angel returned, urging him to begin Perhaps most curious of all is He had four wives, the first being and perspectives liberated the
his career as a spiritual leader. He a large crescent-shaped structure the titular owner of the compound computer from being a glorified
was joined by Hassan tuhan (later dedicated to “peoples who do land. He died at the home of his adding machine to start to realise
known as ‘Anak Rimau’ or ‘Child of not have any religion” including third wife, Che Jaharah Awang, its destiny as one of the most
the tiger’) who also claimed divine Orang Asli (more than 10 distinct at the Batu 13 kampong near powerful amplifiers for human
contact, and together they founded indigenous groups of people Hulu Besut, and was buried in the endeavours in history,” said
the ‘sky Kingdom’ sect (in Malay: descended from the peninsula’s kampong cemetery. the faithful are his friend and colleague, the
Kerajaan Langit). earliest inhabitants), and Orang said to believe that he will return computer scientist Alan Kay.
He moved to Hulu Besut, in the Bunian, the nearest translation of one day as the Imam Mahdi. In a 2007 interview, Prof Minsky
neighbouring state of terengganu, which is ‘supernatural beings of the Ariffin Muhamad (aka ‘Ayah Pin’) was asked: “If we developed the
in early 1975. In the mid-1980s, jungle’. they were supposed to be founder of the Sky Kingdom sect, perfect artificial brain, what would
the group acquired a remote invisible to most and only seen by born in 1943 (or 1946) at Bachok in be the difference between
site near Kampung Batu 13 and enlightened men or shamans; Ayah Kelantan State; died at Hulu Besut, that and the real thing?”
began the construction of their Pin claimed he communicated with Terengganu State, Malaysia, 23 to which he replied:
compound, including the huge them regularly. April 2016, aged 73 (or 70). “Well, it wouldn’t die. some
26 Ft342
strangedays
people believe that you should die,

and some people think dying is a
nuisance. I’m one of the latter. so I
think we should get rid of death.” the
,
Grim Reaper disagreed.
Marvin Lee Minsky, mathematician
and computer scientist, born New York
9 Aug 1927; died Boston 24 Jan 2016,
aged 88.
RAY TOMLINSON
the first electronic messaging system,
developed in the 1960s, would only
allow messages to be exchanged
between users on the same computer.
then in 1969, the American Defense
Department’s Advanced Research
Projects Agency (ARPA) launched the
Arpanet, a program designed to create
a network tying together disparate
Fairies, Folkloreand Forteana

computer science programs it was
funding around the country. this was
the Internet’s precursor. In 1971 Ray
tomlinson (below) was working for the
Boston-based technology company
Simon Young FiLES A nEW REPoRT FRom THE inTERFACE oF STRAngE PHEnomEnA AnD FoLK BELiEF
Bolt, Beranek and Newman (now
called Raytheon), a major contractor
on the Arpanet, trying (as he put it)
“to find things to use this new-fangled
network for”. He had heard about a
ahungrywitch time, and rather than asking for money she
requested food from her clients. There is no
question that there was swindling in Mary’s
proposal to send messages to be It is one of the most extraordinary witchcraft schemes: she had one of the dead complain
printed and stuffed in mailboxes for trials on record. A woman managed to that the tea sent by living relatives was not of
people to read, and had the idea that convince a series of townsfolk that she could good enough quality! But there remains the
messages should go to computers bring their departed relatives back to life. The question of how she convinced the men and
instead. Borrowing a code from a relatives were taken along to women who claimed that they
file-transfer program he had created see their dead family members, saw their dead relatives. One
called Cpynet, he modified an existing as they slowly returned to the
world. These relatives were
the individuals of the witnesses in the trial, for
example, was a local policeman
internal computer-messaging program
so that messages could be sent then so convinced of the reality mary doheny who courageously spoke against
between two machines that were
side-by-side. Needing a punctuation
of what they had experienced
that they refused to help the
brought back the prosecutor, telling the court
that he had seen his own dead
symbol to separate the name of authorities in the trial that from the dead father-in-law.
the recipient from his/her computer
location, tomlinson chose @, the “at
followed.
This would be an
were not in the Establishing the truth of
what happened before the trial
sign”, recently named the asperand extraordinary series of events
in 1600 in the Balkans or
afterlife but would take a lot of research:
in fact, there is a great book
or ampersat. Prior to this, @ usually
meant “at the rate of”; its origin is on the upper Rhine, but with the fairies waiting to be written on the
obscure, though it dates back at least incredibly it took place in 1864 Doheny case if someone out
to the 14th century. tomlinson didn’t in Ireland! The ‘witch’, as she there is interested. It seems
consider his messaging system to be was widely referred to in the press, was one that Mary would take her clients to an open
significant. “Don’t tell anyone! this isn’t Mary Doheny and she was put on trial not for space where they would see the dead walk
what we’re supposed to be working pacts with the Devil, but for swindling the before them, although clients did not talk
on,” he told a colleague. However, good folk of Carrick-on-Suir in Tipperary with to the dead. How far off were these half-
email quickly matured from a fun idea her resurrection games. She was sent to prison phantoms? Did Mary use tricks of suggestion
to a central feature of the Arpanet – rather than the gallows. or the clothes of those who had passed on to
and later the Internet. tomlinson lived Mary was not a witch as most of us create this effect? As anyone who has perused
in Lincoln, Massachusetts, where he understand the word: she would be better the annals of witchcraft, shamanism and spirit
and his partner Karen raised miniature described as a ‘fairy doctor’. The individuals healing will know, many operators create a
sheep. He was described by a friend as whom she brought back from the dead were bewildering cocktail of low trickery and the
MIGUEL RIOPA / AFP / GEtty IMAGEs
“surprisingly, not addicted to email.” not, according to Mary, carol singing in a paranormal. Where one begins and where
Raymond Samuel Tomlinson, Christian afterlife; rather they were with the the other ends is difficult to judge, and the
email inventor, born Amsterdam fairies – a belief occasionally found in rural practitioners themselves often seem to lose
(NY) 23 April 1941; died Lincoln Ireland in the 19th century. Mary claimed track.
(MA) (suspected heart attack) 5 that to bring the dead back from the fey she Simon Young writes on folklore and history
Mar 2016, aged 74. had to feed them up over a long period of and runs www.fairyist.com
Ft342 27
the UFO files
FORTEAN TIMES presents our monthly section featuring regular sighting
reports, reviews of classic cases, entries on major ufological topics and
hands-on advice for UFO investigators. The UFO Files will benefit from your
input, so don’t hesitate to submit your suggestions and questions.
To contact The UFO Files, email: nufon@btinternet.com
FLYING SORCERY PETER BROOKESMITH PRESENTS HIS REGULAR

SURVEY OF THE LATEST FADS AND FLAPS FROM THE
WORLD OF UFOLOGY
THE OLD STUFF Kottmeyer, Peter Rogerson and Luis

Like ufology, the Internet is Gonzales spring to mind in the abduction
both a terrible and a wonderful department). Tim Printy, in SUNlite, has
thing. These two excrescences begun an ambitious project to dissect
of the post-modern age have, cases from both Project Blue Book and
over the last couple of decades, the Don Berliner/NICAP catalogue The
inevitably influenced each other. UFO Evidence. Sometimes, trivial as
On the one hand, the Internet has a case may appear, the work involved
made it possible to take apart is laborious, and Printy is admirably
current claims, bogus photos, meticulous. As a result he does not
daft assertions and very dodgy dismiss all these cases as ‘explained’,
characters at unprecedented but he does suggest the most likely
speed. One might cite by way of solution – and has, as yet, to find
recent examples the over-hyped anything that suggests an extraterrestial
video of some Chilean insects presence in our skies.
(as touted by Leslie Kean among Tim Printy’s fastidious dedication
others) and the desperate calls into question the usefulness of the
CLAS SVAHN
promotion of a couple of old stamp-collecting tendency in ufology.
snapshots of a mummified child There are ufologists who are also
as pictures of an alien corpse philatelists, and I make no aspersion
retrieved from the deserts of New against the collecting instinct per se.
Mexico seven or so decades ago. That ripe
plum was supported by several people who These days, Let me explain why one of my eyebrows is
nonetheless raised. Sweden’s AFU is busy (not
mainstrean
should have known better. Deconstruction of to say overwhelmed) collecting archives and
such trumpery happens so quickly simply – publications involving all manner of ufological
and obviously – because more people are in and fortean research; Isaac Koi is trying
touch with one another and can exchange and
publish findings so much faster than in the ufology is stuck to track down and make publicly available
searchable PDFs of every ufological fanzine,
in its own mud

days when we relied on the phone, the mails, along with huge collections of newspaper
and newsletters or magazines – and can do so clippings, published in English; Paul Dean
internationally in seconds flat. has begun to document all of the USAF North
On the other hand, and not so paradoxically, American Air Defense Command’s dealings
this has left whatever passes these days for Nigel Watson’s and Martin Kottmeyer’s writings with UFO reports, scheduled to total some
mainstream ufology somewhat stuck in its own on close encounters over the years. 20 lengthy blogs... No doubt there are other
mud. Present, ephemeral excitements being One symptom of this reliance on ‘old such games afoot. On the face of it these
risky bets for those who cling to the idea that stuff’ is that discussion has become a kind are admirable undertakings, but only those
we’re being visited by aliens of some kind, of trench warfare, with neither side able to expecting to live longer than Noah – should
ufologists continue to grind out arguments that out-manoeuvre the other and, one does they not have other things to do – will ever
ancient, apparently high-strangeness cases are sometimes wonder, unwilling to do so as wade their way through all this stuff (Paul
just as strange as they have ever been made well. This is no more than par for the course Dean’s efforts perhaps apart). Certainly no
to seem. And skeptics continue to gnaw away with unofficial knowledge, of course, as one is going to bother to get behind that
at their claims. Roswell is the obvious case in Dr Ed Bullard pointed out aeons (it seems vast mass of UFO reports that essentially
point. So is the equally egregious Rendlesham now) ago. Perhaps I am jaded as well as say (approximately to quote Jacques Vallée)
Forest incident. Both continue to generate jaundiced, but the tendency seems to have “Mrs Wilson saw a light in the sky”, the kind
high-octane, high-temperature debates pro become more ingrained over the past couple of insufficient information that filled so many
and con, and mostly on-line. Obsession and of decades. Another symptom is a rise in the flying-saucer clubs’ newletters.
paranoia over the Great Abduction Scare stamp-collecting tendency in ufology. This has Obviously, collections and catalogues
seems to have died down, but also, since the never been absent from the field: there have have their uses. When I needed to consult
demise or disgrace of its major proponents, it always been people who with varying degrees Buck Nelson’s now very rare My Trip to Mars,
has fibrillated into a spectrum of direct, first- of diligence have catalogued UFO sightings the Moon and Venus, AFU provided not the
person accounts. These are often intriguing and encounters. Many of these have been photocopy I was expecting, but an original.
in their own right, for a spectrum of reasons: telegraphic and thus essentially useless These depositories of information are
they are also mostly at striking odds in their summaries of rather dull events, but some invaluable for those on a specific research
idiosyncracies with the interpretations of more thorough individuals have as a result track. That implies a good deal of prior
abductionist panjandrums, past and present. of their own detailed compilations produced knowledge, thought, and planning. If you want
An irony herein is that this general truth has provocative, insightful and entertaining to just ‘find out about UFOs’, though, they
long been available to anyone bothered to read analyses of what they’ve found (Martin wouldn’t be the best place to start.
28 FT342
UFO CASEBOOK JENNY RANDLES FINDS THAT THE MEN IN BLACK
HAVE VISITED PLENTY OF BRITISH UFO WITNESSES
WE ARE THE MIB gave him a copy and told him it was the original
Last issue, (FT341:24) we reported on the – which seemed to satisfy him. He gave me the
death of Albert K Bender, the man who started date and channel when his programme would
the legend of the ‘men in black’ – intimidators be airing and assured me that he would return
who seek to silence those reporting something the tape by registered post (as he believed it
odd in the sky. But how has this fortean was precious, of course). But it never arrived
sideshow manifested itself in the UK? As you and the programme did not air on the BBC that
might suspect, the answer is differently! week.
SICNAG / CREATIVE COMMONS
British witnesses to close encounters have I chased this as far as I could – through the
also reported visits from strangers, just as in contact details I had insisted on getting before
the USA, but not surprisingly these accounts handing over the tape. But nobody there had
have a quirky flavour that seems to mirror our ever heard of him and I went right up to the
national ethos. I have investigated around 20 head of commissioning at the station, who
cases and it is worth contrasting them with the was adamant they had not discussed any
far better known American examples. such programme or had any dealings with this
Several themes recur – such as there being
two men who approach a witness together,
A dark, old- man. I never heard from Tom Adams again,
and never got the tape back. I do wonder if this
often knowing about a case that has not been
publicised and asking sophisticated, probing
questions that persuade witnesses they are
fashioned was a tactic somebody used to get me to talk
freely about a subject in a way I would have
been reticent about if approached by some
who they claim to be. They often arrive in a
large, old British car (a Jaguar, commonly). Jaguar car was secret service branch staffed by MIB. Or am I
reading too much into a chancer who never got
right outside
One of the two men either stays silent or acts commissioned and decided not to fess up?
weirdly whilst the other shows an impressive Something similarly odd happened during
awareness of the nuances of the unreported another case that I was involved in researching
case. When they offer an explanation for the – the close encounter of Todmorden police
visit, they often refer to the police or Ministry I received some strange phone calls with officer Alan Godfrey (see my columns in FT325-
of Defence, or occasionally a UFO organisation odd clicking noises. Parked at the end of our 328). I was writing about his encounter in 1982
(that turns out not to exist when looked into small road was what looked to be a telephone when instant communication was not possible
afterwards). van and some men who were staring in my so, to check what I was writing with Alan, I read
Peculiar behaviour is also common. In one direction. I contacted the phone company my work chapter by chapter onto a cassette
case, the two men referred to one another to ask if they were working on my line. They tape and sent it to him to listen to and get back
using numbers, not names. Another insisted checked, but had no record – but I insisted with comments on anything I’d got wrong.
he should only be addressed as ‘commander’ they did have a van out there. I was asked Somehow, this method of communication
and gushed about knowing Winston Churchill. for its registration so I went outside and the was discovered and Alan was ordered to desist
One man sat in the far corner for hours holding van promptly drove off. There were no further from interacting in this way. The ‘investigating
a black box that had no moving parts and problems on my phone line. officer’ wanted access to my tapes, which Alan
appeared to do nothing. Was I being spied upon by some sinister fortuitously did not possess and denied any
Witnesses are usually ‘advised’ not to talk agency desperate to listen in to my thoughts knowledge of. Neither of us had discussed
about their sighting. On one occasion, the on this big case, or was it just a coincidence? openly what we were doing and we were rather
MIB sent away local reporters who had been Most likely the latter. taken aback by this. But police sources later
invited by the witnesses. Sometimes simple, Then, also in connection with Rendlesham, denied they had – or would ever have – asked
plausible sounding explanations are used was the saga of the Halt tape, a recording for private property in this way.
to request silence: “It was just a balloon’, in made live in the forest by the then base Aside from all these odd events, have I ever
one case. In another, the witness was visited deputy commander as he and several other actually met an MIB? Well, perhaps.
by two MoD investigators, who told him that USAF personnel studied ground traces and In January 1997, as I was writing a book
what he had seen was a Russian satellite observed UFOs. I knew of its existence soon about Bender and similar cases, I visited the
passing high overhead – even though it never after the sightings in December 1980, but it bank in Buxton, Derbyshire, where I lived. Right
crossed the UK that night. The absurdity of the stayed secret for some years. I first received outside sat a ufologist’s worst nightmare: a
Ministry visiting over such a trivial thing was a copy in the summer of 1984, as did several dark, old-fashioned Jaguar car of the kind I
only matched when – after the witness did talk colleagues, and we staged a press conference had so often heard described to me. It bore a
to a UFO group – a large black Jaguar parked organised by Ralph Noyes, a friendly retired London registration dating back to 1962, as
outside his house for several nights. The Under Secretary at the Ministry of Defence. if it had come straight out of one of my older
witness asked for help; luckily, one of the group Later, a man calling himself Tom Adams, who cases. Standing next to it was a man in a smart
had a relative in the police force who agreed said he was making a BBC radio documentary dark suit staring at me as I left the bank – no
to check the situation out after being told only about the case, contacted me. He asked doubt observing my open-mouthed expression
that the man lived near a large factory and that to come and interview me and I found him at this sudden encounter.
the car might be planning a robbery there. The remarkably perceptive about the case – It would have been easy to scuttle by and
police saw the car and traced its registration especially for a journalist. He was particularly thus avoid any threats urging me to cease
plate as false. They were told to get details keen to quiz me about non-alien explanations writing my book – and then I would have had a
from the driver, but as they walked towards for the sighting and the possibility of secret proper MIB legend to tell you about. Instead,
the big black Jaguar it vanished into thin air in military technology as the cause. I had here is the prosaic truth: I stopped and smiled
front of their eyes. Needless to say, the police suspicions in that regard but was astounded at the man, and as we talked it quickly became
officers decided not to file any report on this that a reporter knew of them. clear that he was the owner of a beautifully
incident. Adams then surprised me by asking to take restored classic car that he was taking to the
Over the years I have had experiences that the Halt tape away with him. I offered him a Peak District to put on show.
made me wonder whether someone was copy, but he insisted it had to be the original. In this case, all the components were
putting me under observation. In 1983, I was I pointed out that mine was a copy, just a first present, but my hasty conclusion as to their
investigating the Rendlesham Forest case generation one, but he said it was necessary MIB origin was entirely inside my head. How
(see FT336–340) – just as it had made the to use it for clarity on air. He actually became often is that true in other classic stories from
front page of the News of the World – when very fixated on this request and in the end I MIB lore, I wonder?
FT342 29
GHOST HUNT AT THE
‘HOUSE OF
SUICIDES’
Andrew Green began his career as a ghosthunter in 1944 while still just a teenager – but his first
investigation of a haunted house nearly proved to be his last. ALAN MURDIE digs into the strange
history of 16 Montpelier Road and the curious photograph taken by Andrew that day...
I
s there a figure in the window of this Green for the rest of his days, since it was the
emptyVictorian house, photographed in one ghost hunt which nearly cost him his life
September 1944? and proved to be the start of a string of odd
Is it the image of a girl who killed herself incidents and coincidences spanning many
in 1887? years.
Did the haunting play a part in the
multiple suicides that reputedly occurred at THE HOUSE ON
the house? MONTPELIER ROAD
The man who asked himself these Born in Ealing in 1927, Andrew Green was
questions for some 60 years was the introduced to the house at 16 Montpelier
influential British ghost hunter Andrew Road in September 1944 by his father, the
Green (1927-2004, pictured at right), wartime rehousing settlement officer for the
who took this odd photograph (shown on borough, after plans to requisition the empty
facing page) on his first ever attempt at building to store furniture from bombed
investigating a haunted house. It marked the buildings had gone awry. In May 1944,
start of a life-long pursuit of the paranormal. Green’s father inspected the house, which
Although he was highly sceptical by the hunts involve far fewer physical risks than had been vacant for 10 years, and reported
standards of many investigators today, there many sporting and outdoor activities and back to the Town Hall that, other than a smell
was one final, dramatic question that Green harm seldom occurs; and although people of gas or sulphur in one room, it “was highly
seldom shared: can get nervous or frightened, cases of ghost suitable and free from rising damp, wood rot
Was this the ghost that nearly killed me? hunters receiving severe shocks are few and and furniture beetle”.The unpleasant smell
Normally, ghost research is a fairly safe far between. Lethal ghosts surely belong to was investigated without success, though
activity, at least when utilising routine folklore, MR James stories and films like The it was only reported about once a month.
investigative techniques, many of them first Ring and The Woman in Black.The same can The house otherwise appeared to be sound.
popularised in Britain by Green himself be said about seeking ghosts at séances – the Consequently, the recommendation was that
in the early 1970s. 1 No physical harm philosopher of science CD Broad considered it was highly suitable to be used for storage,
comes from reading books on the subject that there was no more danger involved although the room where the odour was most
or carrying out archival studies, and there’s than in attending university. 2 Andrew intense was to remain locked.
no danger in looking at alleged ghost Green himself repeatedly emphasised that The first and only delivery of goods
photographs and film footage or visiting apparitions were harmless and worked hard arrived in early May, but the team of five
haunted houses in the daylight. More to dissolve the fears and superstitions which workmen involved all complained of a
challenging are overnight investigations, have accumulated over the centuries. “cold and shivery” atmosphere once inside.
which involve the same degree of risk as But the story of his very first investigation Hastily packing up, they found that the tools
many other activities carried out in darkness may be seen as an exception. Although a they carried with them (for effecting any
in unfamiliar premises. But conducted prime example of ‘beginner’s luck’, it was necessary repairs) were missing and all were
sensibly, usually as team exercises, ghost a case that made a profound impression on alarmed by the sound of footsteps heard
30 F T342
from a first floor corridor.The team became so
scared that they quit immediately. A few weeks
later, when the furniture had to be removed to
another store, all refused to return, declaring
the house was ‘haunted’. Despite offering
cash inducements, Green’s father had to
recruit removal men from some distance away,
the reputation of the house having spread.
Suspecting there might be more to this, he then
made enquiries with the Ealing police and was
informed by a Sergeant Smith that the house
had a history of suicides.
Having secured the building, Green
senior was required to check it the following
September, and duly invited Andrew along,
asking his son if he would like to visit a
haunted house? At the time Andrew was
ignorant of psychic phenomena but intensely
interested in science. Having heard his father’s
story he considered it a mystery to be solved
and readily agree to come along, bringing his
Kodak box camera.
Green wrote: “My feeling when I first
saw the house was of some considerable
excitement”. Built in 1883, 16 Montepelier
Road was a large, rambling Gothic-style
building with a high tower on the northeast
side at the back. Going inside, they were met
by a musty smell, their footsteps echoing
through the building “as if in a museum or an
empty church”. Equipped with a floor plan,
Andrew went off to explore, working his way
systematically from the cellar to the top of the
building. Because the power was disconnected,
he used matches and an old newspaper as
a taper for lighting his way. Reaching the
first floor with its locked room, he peered
through the keyhole and was surprised to see
it equipped as a laboratory, with a Bunsen
burner, test tubes and jars.This seemed to
explain the chemical smell, if not its monthly
periodicity.
Ascending by a spiral staircase to the next
level, he found a circular room with a trapdoor
out to the roof, reached by a ladder. Climbing
this, about four rungs from the top, Andrew
felt a pair of hands lifting him from behind.
Thinking it must be his father trying to assist
him, he reached the bolt that secured the
trapdoor. Successfully unbolting it, he turned
to thank his father only to find no one there.
Puzzled, he hauled himself up on to the roof
and stood up.
“A slight breeze wafted over my face as I
looked across towards London and noticed a
couple of barrage balloons riding the clouds
in the distance. As I stood admiring the view
I slowly developed an urge to look over the
parapet.”
Peering down to the crazy paving in the
overgrown garden some 60-70ft (18-21m) below,
he felt no fear but an overwhelming urge to
step off the tower.
The compulsion was so strong that he swung
one leg over the parapet, accompanied by an
internal voice in his mind, which seemed to
command: “Walk over the parapet, it’s only 12
inches to the lawn.You won’t hurt yourself.”
As he sat on the edge of the parapet,
preparing to jump, the future of modern
ghost hunting in Britain was in the balance.
Fortunately, Green’s father, brought up to the
roof on a sudden impulse, pulled Andrew away
FT342 31
from the parapet by the scruff of the neck, bodies had gone but the stones were still wet the Royal Photographic Society, he tried to
saying: “We don’t want any suicides in the from the water used to wash away the gory recreate the picture but without success. 5
family”. remains.” When she later told Dr Pye, he Further plans to investigate were
Green later wrote: “At that moment I was made the cryptic remark “Nothing surprises interrupted by two years of National Service,
convinced I would not be hurt”. 3 me about that house,” but refused to clarify but after demobilisation in 1949, Green
Looking round, both noticed some odd it. appealed via the press with a short article
symbols carved in the coping stone. His A week after hearing this story, Green in the London Evening News, mentioning his
father frowned. “Black magic signs,” he said. returned to the chemist to collect his investigations at an “old house in Montpelier
“I suppose that could account for it, but I developed film. On being presented with the Road”. 6
can’t see how.” prints, he proudly told the chemist that they This publicity drew a swift and sharp
Solemnly, Green senior led his son back to showed a haunted house. response from the new owner of No 16, who
ground floor and asked for an explanation. “Oh yes,” said the chemist, “and who is the had converted it into apartments. 7 Denying
Andrew later wondered: “Did 20 people girl in the window?” any knowledge of ghosts, he threatened legal
really commit suicide, or were they affected He pointed at the top left hand corner action. Reluctantly, Green abandoned plans
in the same way I had been, impelled to of the picture, where there seemed to be a for another investigation.
casually ‘walk over’ the parapet?” 4 figure like a young girl in the window and
a curtain halfway across. Puzzled, Green A DRAMATIC INTERLUDE
THE GIRL IN THE WINDOW ordered an enlargement.The image was a Seeking another hobby Green turned to
Back on the ground, at about 2.30pm, Andrew double oddity – odd because there appeared amateur dramatics, becoming involved
strolled round to the back garden. He became to be not only a figure but a curtain – and in with ‘the Company of Thirteen’, a local
conscious of an “atmosphere of malevolence 1944, there were no curtains hanging. theatre group run by a BBC producer named
– or was it sheer imagination?” He took a Greatly intrigued, Green went to Ealing Kenneth Yandell. At his first meeting Yandell
photograph and then they departed for home, police and made further enquiries. He announced they were trying to think of a new
delivering the camera to the chemists for received the same information as his father: play to produce. Slightly tongue-in-cheek,
development on the way. Reaching home, that the house had a history of suicides – Green proposed the play The Poltergeist by
Green told his mother about his strange some 20 in all. Each had jumped off the Gordon Harker and was surprised when
adventure. Her face conveyed expressions of tower, the first being a 12-year-old girl named everyone reacted favourably. Enthusiasm
concern and utter astonishment at his story. Anne Hinchfield in 1887. increased when Yandell then offered up
It turned out his mother also knew the Was this the girl in the window, Green his flat for rehearsals, telling everyone he
house at No 16. In 1934, she had been wondered? So began the first of many checks believed it to be haunted. He and his wife
working as a temporary nurse with a local on his photograph. No explanation could had experienced strange footsteps, a peculiar
physician, Dr Pye, who was called out to be found. A year later, with a member of sulphurous smell and their pet terrier
a case of murder and suicide. A young “going beserk” once a month. Green and
nursemaid had thrown an infant from the the rest of the company were intrigued at
roof of the tower of the house, and then
jumped to her own death. Walking into HE BECAME the idea of rehearsing within a real haunted
house and Yandell then gave his address. It
AWARE OFAN
the back garden, Mrs Green had been was in Ealing, just off Castlebar Road: 16
“somewhat upset” by seeing the grass on Montpelier Road!
the lawn being mysteriously trodden down Keeping his surprise to himself – as well
as if by an invisible person walking over it.
The footprints approached a garden seat, ATMOSPHERE OF as what he knew about the property – Green
duly attended the rehearsal the following
MALEVOLENCE
which then moved and rocked as if someone Monday.
were sitting in it. His mother had then gone Arriving at 16 Montpelier Road, he found
to the spot where the deaths occurred. “The it greatly changed from the gloomy house
of eight years before.The Yandells occupied
one of a number of comfortable furnished
flats, with the former old chemical laboratory
now transformed into the couple’s pristine
bathroom. During the evening, five of the
seven group members claimed to hear rapid
footsteps crossing the flat. Green heard
nothing and was tempted to attribute it
to autosuggestion, but one young lady, a
Mrs Pyatt, seemed to fall into a trance,
murmuring, “I only wanted to go into the
garden, but the roof was higher than I
thought”, “My name was Anne”, and “I didn’t
kill myself”.These comments mystified
everyone except for Green, who assumed that
telepathy had occurred. After a few minutes,
Mrs Pyatt regained full consciousness but
was unable to explain her unusual comments.
Discussion of the play resumed.
In fact, The Poltergeist was never produced,
A MURDIE / P CAWTHORNE
as the company was stricken with misfortune.

The intended male lead was killed in car
crash, there were severe financial problems
and two active members moved away.
However, Green took the opportunity to
speak privately with other residents. Friends
TOP: The house at 16 Montpelier Road (then Mount Park Road), Ealing, was built in the 1880s by Robert Henry of the Yandells in another apartment
Wallace and known as ‘Ellerslie Towers’. reported “an old man’s footsteps limping
through the flat, right through the bedroom
32 F T342
ABOVE: Andrew Green’s original 1944 photograph. BELOW: The figure at the window seen in an enlargement. BOTTOM: The 1945 attempt to recreate the earlier photo.
walls. It sounded as if he had a walking stick”. now to my flat to try to find the source of the
Another couple, the Merianths, who occupied smell in my bathroom and have given up.”
the tower flat, spoke of seeing their doorbell Green later wrote: “I hardly bothered
being depressed by an unseen finger. Incidents asking where he lived”. As well as a persistent,
were reported to the owner but met with no monthly smell Edwardes had also heard
response. noises – “someone walking through the flat
Two years later, Green metYandell in sometimes.”
Ealing Broadway and learned he had just
been released from hospital after spending RETURN TO MONTPELIER ROAD
several days recovering from ‘sulphur In 1971, whilst researching his book Our
poisoning’.Yandell explained that following Haunted Kingdom (1973), Green returned to
a weekend party where several guests had Montpelier Road and found the oldVictorian
stayed over, makeshift beds had been provided building had been pulled down and a modern
on divans, chairs and the floor.Yandell had block of flats erected. He noted: “The new
been allocated the bath; he didn’t get much building lies several feet away to the south of
sleep, for at around two am his wife heard the original and the actual site of the suicide
him “gasping and gurgling”. Rushing in, she tower is now empty air.” 8 However, some
found him only half-conscious and fighting residents still spoke of strange banging noises,
for breath. An ambulance was summoned and though not a brick of the old house remained.
he was treated as an emergency at the King Following the publication of Our
Edward Memorial Hospital. Later, Green Haunted Kingdom, a stream of people wrote
interviewed the puzzled ward matron.Yandell or telephoned Green offering further
had been nearly asphyxiated and would have information about No 16. Just days after the
died within 30 minutes if he had not been book came out, a reporter from the local
treated. She stated: “Nobody gets sulphur newspaper went to make local enquiries and
poisoning lying in a bath, but the odour of the learned that 22 Montpelier Road, directly
fumes in his lungs strongly resembled stale gas opposite, had a reputation for being haunted
or sulphur… so that was what was recorded.” by “Shrieks, moans, screams and thumping
Yandell also told him he had destroyed their noises”. It transpired that No 22 had been the
dog because of its recurrent fits. scene of a double homicide in February 1954
In 1960 Andrew Green was a participant in when Ronald Chesney had murdered his wife
a broadcast of an ITV advertising show called and mother-in-law Mrs Menzies. Chesney fled
Jim’s Inn hosted by Jimmy Hanley. Whilst abroad and later shot himself in woods near
waiting in the artists’ lounge at the TV studio Cologne.
he overheard an exchange between a member One resident of No 16 in the 1950s wrote of
A MURDIE / P CAWTHORNE
of the team and scriptwriter Jack Edwardes, a strange atmosphere in the house; another
whom Green knew slightly. Edwardes was correspondent recalled its reputation as
complaining about persistent trouble with the ‘the suicide house’ as early as 1912. Most
smell of gas at his home. “The gas men refuse extraordinary were three letters from a Mrs
to come any more.They have been six times Laycock of Stockwell who in 1976 recalled
FT342 33
three months of service in the house as a a hoax in 1978. 9 beckons to people to jump down
15-year-old maid between January and April By now settled in Sussex, to their deaths off the tower!”. She
1922, when it was occupied by Mrs Nellie Green sporadically continued then told me how the story was
Theresa Demery. his enquiries into the history of well known in local folklore among
Mrs Laycock’s recollections, although Montpelier Road, with his last the restaurant’s customers and the
fragmentary, were tantalising. She full account appearing in Fate local Asian community. I thought
remembered a housekeeper called Mrs magazine in 1985, revealing it remarkable that the story could
Thompson and a butler named Tanner who that the land had been have penetrated so far, obviously
had been formerly employed at Kensington purchased in March 1883 by a growing in the telling.
Palace and walked with a limp, his right leg Robert Henry Wallace Dunlop I decided to begin some
having been damaged in an accident with who proceeded to build what research myself at Ealing library
coach horses. Mrs Laycock claimed that he called ‘Ellerslie Towers’ on and archives. However, although
one day she had been clearing out boxes Mount Park Road. 10 By 1894 names could be found associated
in a lumber-room and found a floorboard a Mrs Lucy Wallace Dunlop with the property there were no
loose. Lifting it, she discovered a case was recorded in residence, records to be found of any suicides.
containing four cutthroat razors with gold and and in 1903 the road had been In particular, nothing could be
tortoiseshell handles, wrapped in newspaper re-named Montpelier Road found of the murder-suicide case
cuttings relating to the ‘Jack the Ripper’ and the house numbered as 16. Mrs Wallace of 1934 in the local press of the time. Such an
murders of 1888 and the Duke of Clarence Dunlop was resident until at least 1916. incident must have been reported, I thought
(who from the 1970s was one of the many Later records provide different names – or had Mrs Green simply been confused?
improbable ‘Jack the Ripper’ suspects). Mrs thereafter: a Frank Strange in 1917, an However, it seemed implausible that such a
Laycock claimed that the lid of the case was Edmond Gibbs in 1920-21, a Mrs Nellie shocking crime would have been hushed up, if
embellished with a royal crest and the words Demery between 1922-27, a Garfield Carse it happened at all.
‘Kensington Palace’. She also mentioned a (surgeon and physician) in 1929 and from Today I would not be so sure. For instance,
local story that the female owners of the house 1930-1940 a Harry Barnard and Kathleen in the course of re-examining a historic
were witches. Her suspicions strengthened, Barnard. 11 poltergeist case in London, I have discovered
she noticed that every Friday some kind of a medical cover-up in the 1930s involving
ceremony was held in the top room of the GHOSTLY MEMORIES falsifying birth registration details and
tower.The room was painted black, and none In the autumn of 1989 I began part-time bribery to conceal the true parentage of a
of the servants save for Mr Tanner was allowed teaching law at the Ealing College of Higher baby boy – a deceit that those involved in
to enter it. After the weekly ritual she had to Education (now University of West London). continued for many years. More widely, from
collect the candlesticks from him for cleaning I did not take any steps to visit Montpelier investigations into historic abuse allegations,
and would remove the stubs of black candles Road, as No 16 was long gone.Then, in 1995, I the Bloody Sunday inquiry in Northern
from them. A few months after leaving the ended up representing the widow of the owner Ireland and challenges to coroner’s inquiries
property she heard Mr Tanner had committed of the oldest established Indian restaurant in most recently with the Hillsborough disaster
suicide with an overdose of laudanum but that Ealing, the Taj Mahal (well, it was an original ‘official versions’ can be manipulated and
it was hushed up as an accidental death. name in 1959). After the legal matter was corrupted. But perhaps Mrs Green was simply
Intriguing as Mrs Laycock’s claims were, successfully resolved, I was chatting with her mistaken; there might not have been a murder,
it seems most likely they were a case of about her memories of Ealing in the past and or perhaps it was a case of a botched abortion
imagination influenced by well-publicised local history and ghosts, and I mentioned or a stillbirth, followed by suicide. Maybe
stories circulating in the 1970s linking Jack the haunted house at Montpelier Road. “I there had been no deaths at all.
the Ripper with the Royal family. Andrew remembered hearing that story,” she said at In September 1996 I met Andrew Green,
Green dismissed the account after the once, “The suicide house! It’s the house where by then 69 years old, on a weekend course
leading ‘Royal Ripper’ story was exposed as the ghostly girl appears at the bottom and about ghosts and hauntings being held at
Pyke House, at Battle in Sussex, where he
told the story of his experiences some half
a century earlier. Discussing the evidence,
he said that his own extensive enquiries
had similarly drawn a blank, providing a
tantalising collection of names connected
to 16 Montpelier Road, but no evidence of
multiple suicides. With a few exceptions,
police records, including those at Scotland
Yard, were typically dumped after a few
years 12 and the widespread censorship of
the time might have erased evidence and
corroboration in numerous ways; as Jan
Bondeson has shown, public memory of
London ‘murder houses’ is relatively short.
Green had written in his own Ghost Hunting:
A Practical Guide: “This mixture of scraps of
KEYSTONE PICTURES USA / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO
genuine information and incorrect dates is

fairly commonly encountered, and a pitfall
to watch for… Don’t be deceived, either, into
assuming that all official information need
never be questioned.” Green had not been
able to penetrate any further into what went
on in the house at the time of the Wallace
Dunlop family, and concluded that the many
mysteries of 16 Montpelier Road would never
be solved.
ABOVE: No 22 Montpelier Road, directly opposite the ‘Suicide House’, also gained a reputation for being haunted. Andrew Green died in May 2004, three
In February 1954, when this photograph was taken, it was the scene of a double murder. months after a special lecture and award
34 FT342
ceremony with the Ghost Club to mark his 60
years in paranormal research. At the lecture
he recalled that whilst many people had said
they could make out a figure like a girl in the
window in his photo, others proclaimed they
could see a child, ‘a man in a hat’ or a dog.
Since 1971, he told us, “the total population of
that window now stands at 27”. 13
Between 2010 and 2012 I took custody
of Green’s records and archives and began
sorting them. He published three versions of
the Montpelier House story between 1973 and
1985 and also left two manuscript versions
for books that were never published. 14 With
a few minor discrepancies, (for instance, he
refers to visiting the house in June rather than
ETIENNE GILFILLAN
September in one), the accounts tallied in all
significant details.
ABOVE: The site where 16 Montpelier Road once stood as it appears today. By 1971, when Andrew Green
Shortly after reading his last account, I
returned, the ‘Suicide House’ had been replaced by Elgin Court, a modern block of flats.
enjoyed a synchronicity of my own. I had
been asked to advise on a will and settlement
concerning a recently deceased lady in of no connections with Kensington Palace they could be photographed on occasion but
London.The name of her common law partner and found talk of black magic “ridiculous”. their power to influence the living was limited.
was... Ian Wallace Dunlop. Startled, I at once Regarding the later stories from 1930-1960 he He thought a residual mental image might
made the mental connection with the family could add nothing. 15 account for the figure in his photograph, if that
name published by Green in 1985, and I So this moved the matter no further is what it was, but remained open to entirely
wasted no time in going to see Mr Wallace forward, other than confirming that rumours mundane explanations.
Dunlop, then a gentleman in his early 80s, of suicide could be traced to the 19th century. But even with his rejection of spirits, he
living in a flat in West London surrounded by could not resist wondering just how this
antiques. CONCLUSIONS had flowed from his first ever attempt at
I was right to go immediately, for I found What is the solution to the Montpelier Road ghost hunting. Privately he admitted “being
him terminally ill with cancer. Despite ‘Suicide House’ mystery? Looking at the ‘haunted’ by the house and its history for
chemotherapy he was cheerful and displayed totality of accounts collected over the years, many years, and after so many strange
an impish sense of humour. But on the subject it seems possible there was a genuine low- coincidences”. 16
of Montpelier Road he grew more sombre. He level haunting, consisting of unexplained Ultimately, we are now never likely to learn
explained that the Wallace Dunlops had been noises and possibly an inexplicable smell the truth about what really did or not happen
a family who had come down in the world; (though the regularity of this makes it at 16 Montpelier Road. But the search for the
the antiques and portraits were relics from dubious). Possibly there was also some minor truth about the ghostly girl and the ‘House
their finer days, salvaged from Montpelier poltergeist-like activity – and from this of Suicides’ luminously demonstrates the
Road, and they now surrounded him in the the accounts seem to have grown in local challenges that ghost hunting can throw up
flat.There was a painting of his grandfather, retellings into a ghostly girl provoking or for those bold enough to embark upon it as an
the Robert Wallace Dunlop who had built causing suicides among residents of the house. activity. FT
the house and had been a judge in colonial But there is no evidence, beyond hearsay, of
India. Although the Wallace Dunlops had any multiple suicides, nor any details of the A new edition of Andrew Green’s Ghost Hunting:
lost the property before he was born, Ian ‘Anne Hinchfield’ or other individuals who A Practical Guide edited by Alan Murdie will be
recollected hearing, in family stories, of the reputedly killed themselves.These stories available from Arima Publishing later this month,
death of a female servant employed in the were in circulation before the double murders priced £11.50, ISBN: 9781845496876.
house in the late 19th century – “possibly at No 22 in 1954, but beyond these unverified
suicide” – but knew no details. He did not claims, the only certain example of anybody
recognise the name Anne Hinchfield and trying to kill themselves by leaping from the AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY
he was emphatic that neither the Wallace tower comes from the testimony of Andrew
Dunlops nor their servants had made a habit Green himself. What triggered this incident is ALAN MURDIE is a lawyer and
of killing themselves.They had left the house impossible to determine; Andrew was willing writer with a longstanding
because of their waning fortunes, not because to entertain a range of possibilities, but not interest in fortean phenomena.
of tragedies, ghosts or scandals. Although that he had become possessed by a spirit. He A former president of the Ghost
his grandfather was “an awful snob” (he had did not believe in ghosts as conscious entities, Club, he compiles FT’s monthly
actually bought a house near Balmoral so he rather that they were recordings arising Ghostwatch column as well as
could claim to be “close to royalty”), Ian knew somewhere on the electromagnetic spectrum; being a regular feature writer.
NOTES 4 Andrew Green, accounts 6 ‘Girl Ghost Gave Him A 11 Kelly’s Directories 1889- Sussex, 7 Feb 2004.
1 Andrew Green, Ghost in Our Haunted Kingdom Surprise’, Evening News 15 1911; Kelly’s Directories 14 Prediction, June 1975,
Hunting: A Practical Guide, (1973), Prediction June July 1949. 1912-27; Kelly’s Directories Vol 41, No 6, pp16-19,56-
Garnstone Press, 1973. 1975 Vol 41 No 6 pp16- 7 Mr Gerald Reed of 1928-1940. Some years 57.
19,56-57, and a typed Corfton Road, Ealing. are missing, 1916 and
2 CD Broad, The Mind and account dated 26 January 1941-48, and for some 15 Interview with Ian
Its Place in Nature, 1937. 1977 (Green archive). 8 Andrew Green, ‘The years no one is listed. Wallace Dunlop, 21 Sept
Broad wrote: “The average House of Suicides’, Fate, 2010.
spirit is morally no worse 5 It is not a double Aug 1985, issue 425. 12 The records of the
than the average fellow of exposure or a fault on the Whitechapel ‘Jack the 16 Andrew Green,
film. Report from Dr Barrie 9 See ‘Jack the Ripper Ripper’ murders in 1888 unpublished account dated
Trinity, though there is a ‘solution’ was a hoax, man
marked difference in the Colvin of the Spontaneous came close to being 26 Jan 1977 and lecture 7
Cases Committee of confesses’ by David May dumped in the early Feb 2004.
intelligence of the two”. in Sunday Times 18 June
the Society for Psychical 1960s.
3 Andrew Green, Our Research in 2014, 25 May 1978.
Haunted Kingdom, Wolfe 13 Andrew Green, lecture,
2016. 10 Green, Fate 425. Pyke House, Battle,
Publications, 1973, p201.
FT342 35
THE HAUNTED
HEARTH
In an extract from his new book The Hidden Folk: Are Fairies and Poltergeists
Just the Same Thing? SD TUCKER examines the ever-burning issue of
spook-haunted fireplaces, ovens and chimneys.
N
o doubt British Gas engineers SOME OVENS DO ‘AVE ‘EM! is slightly uncertain, but they were basically
get some strange call-outs; few, There is a surprisingly persistent tradition guardian deities of some kind. There were
though, can ever have been of chimneys, hearths and ovens having their several different sub-species, the most
asked to deal with a ghost attendant spirits, whether identified as relevant being the lares familiares and
blocking a person’s chimney. fairy-folk or unquiet ghosts like the Breton lares domestici, the household and family
This, however, seems to have poltergeist.Very often, such spooks were versions, which also merged somehow
been the problem afflicting one unnamed given the names of brownies and boggarts with the penates, a closely-related class of
remote Breton farmhouse in 1913. A plague (see panel), and were said to be attached minor deity whose name means ‘gods of
of perplexing poltergeistry was afoot, and to specific families, almost as ancestral the storehouse’, or penum, the innermost
word had got out the house was bewitched. or tutelary spirits; but where, ultimately, part of a Roman house where supplies of
A certain Jean Mettois and his friend – did the belief in such fire-dwelling family food, wine and oil were kept. It was said
hardy lads who decided to investigate phantoms come from? One suggestion that looking after your lar would bring
– were greeted by the woman of the house might be that they have their origins in the good fortune but that neglecting it was
with the query: “Are you good sorcerers?” Classical world, in the old Roman concept unwise, a parallel notion to the later
They replied that they might just have of household spirits known as lares and European idea that a helpful brownie
enough magical powers to dispel any evil penates. would turn into a malevolent boggart
forces bothering her, if she could spin them The exact nature and function of the lares when riled. According to some ancient
a good enough yarn in return – which she
promptly did.
“Ah, Monsieur,” she explained, “our
horses and beasts die, our oats melt away,
our corn is eaten. If you slept on the farm
for a single night, you might die of fright.
Every night there is an uproar which does
not give us a minute’s sleep.
“Look there,” she said, pointing to the
fireplace, “stones fall one by one with a
terrible clatter. It sounds as if thunder had
broken in the chimney. About midnight
we see white forms trailing burdens on
the ground, the locked doors open of
themselves, the horses get loose and run
wildly about the yard, the cows low with
fright. It is enough to drive one mad!” She
herself was not mad, however; Mettois
CLASU ABLEITER /CREATIVE COMMONS
stayed the night and experienced some of

the phenomena for himself, being awoken
by what he called “furious blows, as if
somebody armed with a battering-ram were
trying to force the door [or] ... break the
chimney.” Mettois got a ladder, climbed
onto the roof and looked down the flue. It
was empty – yet still the blows shook the
fireplace below. The chimney, it appeared, ABOVE: A household lararium in Pompeii, complete with a handy niche to hold figurines of deities.
was haunted.
36 FT342
ARCHIVE PHOTOS / GETTY IMAGES
ABOVE: ‘The Hearth Stone’ in an engraving by John Sartain from the painting by Willcox, London, circa 1791-1852. BELOW: An illustration of Wag-at-the-Wa’ sitting in the
crook of a hook used for hanging pots or kettles in the hearth.
SEVERAL CAKES
commentators, such negligence could lead heard laughing from thin air. He wasn’t
to a lar becoming a larva or lemur, malicious hairy like most brownies, though. Instead,
and formless spirits which would bother Wag-at-the-Wa’ was an ugly old man with
people in their beds at night, and otherwise
cause a nuisance. Others, however, suggested
LEFT BAKING BY THE blue breeches, grey cape, nightcap and red
coat, and a bandage tied around his face
that a person who neglected the state of their
own soul in life would be punished for their
FIRE MYSTERIOUSLY due to persistent toothache. Down south in
Herefordshire, however, it was common-or-
sins by being turned into a larva after death;
whereas, if they cultivated and honoured it
DISAPPEARED garden brownies that were meant
to sit on the pot-hook all day, not
properly, they would become a helpful and Wag-at-the-Wa’. Here, the crook in
benign lar. in the hearthstone. Locally, it was said the hook, useful for hanging kettles
These domestic lares were meant to live to have been haunted by fairies because on, was termed the ‘brownie-sway’.
inside hearths and fireplaces; according several cakes left baking by the fire had If there was no crook, then this
to the fairy-folklorist Katharine Briggs, mysteriously disappeared. Eventually, the was considered bad form, an
they were thought of as being the spirits of house was demolished, and a solution upside-down horseshoe being
ancient hearth-sacrifices, accounting for their to the ‘mystery’ found; the cakes put on the hook instead so that
choice of abode. In the view of the French had been falling down a crack in brownie still had his seat. This
demonologist Pierre Le Loyer, writing in the hearthstone, several mouldy was a wise precaution to take
1586, however, the reason for their occupancy ones being discovered beneath because, if brownie took offence
of fireplaces was probably that in early Rome it. In Briggs’s opinion, though, at your neglect, he could make your
the dead bodies of family-members used to the truth was likely to have life unpleasant.
be buried beneath the hearths of the very been different; people had been One such example of a mortally
same houses in which their descendants purposely slipping the baked offended domestic fairy comes from
continued to live. This is essentially treats down the crack as offerings Herefordshire, a county where, it was
guesswork, though. for the household brownies. said, the household brownies and
The pot-hook which hung over boggarts (just like Wag-at-the-Wa’)
OVEN-READY BROWNIES open fireplaces before the dawn of used to sit on the ‘sway’ – the iron bar
In centuries past, the fire (or oven) was the 20th-century domestic comforts was also above the hearth where pots and kettles
very centre of a household, essential to life. a favoured fairy-spot. In Scottish folklore hung. Accordingly, whenever the hobgoblin
As such, if there were any household spirits there was a specific fairy-breed known as was deemed to have been offended, small
you wanted to propitiate, it was definitely the Wag-at-the-Wa’, who just loved to sit on offerings of food were left out by the
hearthside ones. One of the most common the pot-hook whenever it was empty. If you fireplace to appease him. According to the
domestic locations in which people imagined were foolish enough to idly swing or spin Herefordshire folklorist EM Leather, writing
a ‘fairy-house’ could be found was beneath this item around, then you were asking to in 1912: “Brownie sometimes took offence
their fireplace, with the hearthstone being be paid a visit from the creature, who had at what he considered slights to himself, and
the trapdoor-entrance. Katharine Briggs tells many of the classic attributes of a brownie; his favourite and chief form of revenge was
of a house in Airlie, Scotland, with a crack he disliked lazy servants, and could be to hide the household keys; there was only
FT342 37
LEFT: The famous 1934 case of the ‘Spook of
Saragossa’ or ‘Duende de Zaragoza’. Police inspect
the flue of the cooker from which voices were said to
issue. ABOVE: The only known photograph of 16-year-
old Maria Pascuela, the servent girl at the centre of
the events. BELOW: A Russian domovoi who acts as
a household guardian, manifesting as a small hairy
creature, an old bearded man or even a cat or dog.
was that young Maria was “an unconscious

ventriloquist” and that the voice was no
ghost, but “a psychic phenomenon produced
one way in which they could be brought back. only in certain circumstances.” It seems they
The members of the household sat in a circle
round the hearth, after placing a little cake FROM THIS felt the maid was creating a voice inside her
head and then externalising it inside the
upon the hob, as a peace-offering. The party
sat in absolute silence with closed eyes, when POINT, THE OVEN oven-flue somehow, using some ill-defined
psychic/ventriloquistic powers.
WOULDN’T SHUT
the keys would be flung violently at the wall I don’t think that the Spanish officials
at the back of the sitters.” had the slightest idea of what the Saragossa
Spook really was; but they had to say it
LITTLE VOICE
Gradually, ovens grew separated from UPAND TALKED was something, so plucked an appropriate-
sounding explanation from the air of the
INCESSANTLY
fireplaces, becoming appliances in their own society around them. What witnesses choose
right – but still the spooks kept on haunting to call the ghosts in their ovens is largely
them. The most notable case was that of a matter of what they feel is culturally
the ‘Saragossa Spook’ (or ‘La Duende de sanctioned. For example, one old case
Zaragoza’ – ‘the Zaragoza Fairy’ – as it was involved a house in Ampfersbach, in what is
called in Spanish), which caused a media now French Alsace, which was supposedly
frenzy back in November 1934. The spirit haunted by the Devil. Satan revealed himself
manifested itself in a flat in the Spanish city there, it would appear, largely by producing
of Zaragoza, occupied by the Palazon family poltergeist-type noises; unseen chains would
and their 16-year-old servant-girl, Maria rattle, heavy but invisible objects pound
Pascuela. The polt had only the one trick against the door, and the pots and pans in
up its sleeve: it liked to talk to people down the kitchen clang and jangle throughout the
the chimney-flue of an “economical cooker” night. These noises returned every evening
in the kitchen. This voice was intelligent, until, surprisingly, the householder carried
could answer questions, addressed persons out a rather bizarre form of exorcism – he
by name and demonstrated a certain sense had a bread-oven installed! Clearly this
of humour. When an architect and workmen particular spook was not Satan at all, but
were called in to investigate, they searched a homeless household familiar in need of
the apartment building from roof to cellar, appropriate shelter.
but could find no practical jokers. Finally, Depending on their geographical location,
the architect ordered his men to measure these things have different names, such as
the flue, presumably thinking that some the Russian domovoi – a small, hairy little
recording-device was hidden away in there. man who acts as a household guardian; the
“You need not trouble, the diameter is just in to see what the matter was, only for the term literally means ‘he of the house’. Like
6 inches”, the spook informed them politely voice to address her too. From this point many fairies, he is a shape-shifter, sometimes
from within the empty chimney-pipe. They onwards, the oven just wouldn’t shut up. being seen in hairy form, but at other times
measured it anyway ... and found that the Some days it talked “almost incessantly”. as a little old man with a beard, as a cat or
duende was exactly right. The police were called, but could do nothing. dog, or as the double of the master of the
The trouble began one morning when How do you arrest a ghost – or a cooker? household. Usually, though, he is invisible.
Maria the maid was lighting a fire in the Eventually, the voice seems simply to have Traditionally, each home was meant to have
kitchen, intending to cook breakfast. As she gone away; 20 people were present during its own guardian domovoi, who would help
did so, the voice came out of the cooker- its final appearance, including policemen, out by performing chores and work in the
chimney, greeting her “effusively”. She was doctors and a local magistrate. They all fields. In return for guaranteeing family
predictably startled and her mistress came heard the spook speak. Their explanation prosperity, milk and biscuits would be left
38 FT342
YOU JUST CAN’T GET THE STAFF... Were brownie legends just a way of managing the rural
workforce and scaring sluttish servants?
ABOVE LEFT: A meeting with the Little People in James Bowker’s 1878 book Goblin Tales of Lancashire, which told the story of Daniel Burton and Puck.
ABOVE RIGHT: An exhausted Puck, or Lob-Lie-by-the-Fire, lies in front of the hearth with an empty cream-bowl visible by his right hand.
T
here are many different types of good income from his fields. or household’s workers; as one informant
fairy from the annals of folklore but Such notions of helpful household put it in 1734, the domestic fairies would
two specific subcategories relevant familiars were once very well-known, the “do good to the industrious people, but
to this article are brownies and belief being alluded to in pre-modern English they pinch the sluts”. Misbehaving or lazy
boggarts. The meanings of these terms do literature such as Milton’s poem L’Allegro, servants – to be ‘sluttish’ used to mean
differ, but basically they were conceived wherein a country-lad: to be untidy and slatternly – would be
of as being generally invisible fairies that punished, whereas good workers might
lived and worked inside houses, farms Tells how the drudging goblin sweat get some fairy-money as a reward for their
and stables. Brownies are the best known, To earn his cream-bowl duly set, virtue. Telling your staff these tales would
being depicted as performing unseen When in one night, ere glimpse of morn, be a good way to keep them in line; such a
labour upon a farm or within a household His shadowy flail hath threshed the corn pleasant fiction was a much more romantic
overnight in return for simple offerings of That ten day-labourers could not end, solution than employee-employer contracts,
food. For example, during the 19th century Then lays him down the lubber fiend, at any rate (some may wish we still used
a man named Daniel Burton owned a farm And stretched out all the chimney’s this method). As Bishop Corbet put it in
in Levenshulme, where he was supposed length, his (premature) 17th-century lament for
to have had a friendly brownie named Puck. Basks at the fire his hairy strength; the passing of the fairy-faith, A Proper New
According to one account: “During the night And crop-full out of door he flings, Ballad, Entitled the Fairies’ Farewell:
everything was cleaned up, and all was Ere the first cock his matin rings.
in apple-pie order when... [the servants] Farewell, rewards and fairies,
came into the kitchen at daybreak; the milk Here, the ‘lubber fiend’ (or ‘benevolent Good housewives now may say,
churned, the cows foddered, the necessary goblin’) has been left offerings of food to For now foul sluts in dairies
utensils filled with water from the well, the induce him to perform his household duties. Do fare as well as they;
horses ready harnessed for their day’s work An alternative name for Milton’s helpful And though they sweep their hearths no
at the plough, and even a week’s threshing goblin was ‘Lob-Lie-by-the-Fire’; he was less
done and the barn left as tidy as though it supposed to be a hairy spirit with a long Than maids were wont to do,
had just been emptied and swept.” tail, who would work through the early hours Yet who of late for cleanliness
The most likely explanation for such of the night upon his adopted farm before Finds sixpence in her shoe?
tales is that jealous farmers used them lying down and resting in front of the hearth
to ‘explain’ their rivals’ success. Daniel with his bowl of cream. Once he is ‘crop- Who indeed? Next to no one these days,
Burton’s farm was apparently “a model one full’ of this particular food, Milton tells us, sadly – and yet…
in its way” with “the old man raising finer Lob then ‘flings’ or rushes out of the door In 2006, FT carried a letter from a lady
crops than any other farmer in the district”, before cockcrow sounds his doom amidst (certainly no slut) named Jennifer McGhee,
according to James Bowker, who recorded the morning light. Had these offerings not of Greenock, Scotland. Whilst tidying her
the story in his 1878 book Goblin Tales been left, however, Lob would either not bathroom one day, Jennifer was kneeling on
of Lancashire. Maybe this was just luck have done the work, or started to bother the toilet-seat to dust the shelves above.
– Burton’s farm may have had good soil and everyone with poltergeist pranks in the When she had finished, she was surprised
diligent workers. It seems that other local guise of a boggart, which (sometimes, at to find a crisp £20 note on top of the toilet,
landowners could not accept this, though, least – I am simplifying here) was thought of where there had been no note before, lying
and, in Bowker’s words, “finding a reproach as being a brownie gone bad – imagine an “perfectly flat as if it had just come out of
to their own idleness not only in the old angry domovoi, throwing a hissy-fit. Basically, a cash machine”. She texted her boyfriend,
man’s success but also in the careful, then, mistreat a kind, chimney-dwelling and he suggested that Jennifer say thank
industrious habits of his everyday life, [they] family-helping fairy and it would turn into an you for this, so she did – and at that very
were not slow to insinuate that there was evil, family-haunting poltergeist, was how the moment there came a sudden polt-like
something more than farming at the bottom fable went. knock on her bedroom door, even though
of it.” Another idea popular locally was not The standard interpretation of such she had thought she was alone in the flat
that Burton had a brownie but, rather, that legends, of course, is that they were used to (see FT206:75). At last, the brownies were
he had sold his soul to Satan to guarantee a both encourage and strike fear into a farm back!
FT342 39
out for him in the kitchen overnight. LEFT: This 19th century glass witch-bottle
Predictably, they were meant to and contents was found in Navenby,
live in or beneath stoves and ovens Licolnshire during building work.
(or at the threshold of the house,
under the doorstep). If you wanted home some coal. Soon, it was
to attract one, the best thing to do exploding inside his fireplace
was to place some bread in front of and storage-buckets, without
the oven as temptation. However, a the stuff being lit. Suspicious,
domovoi who was displeased with Mr Frost called the police – and
his ‘owners’ (due to their neglect of a constable not only witnessed
either it or the housework) could coal mysteriously detonating but
turn poltergeist and play all the also hopping out of fire-grates
usual nasty tricks; smash crockery, and sauntering along floors.
bang pots and walls, moan and An Inspector made his way to
groan, leave muddy footprints, move Hornsey and picked up a piece
and rattle small objects and torment of coal to examine more closely.
horses in stables. Because of these As he did so, it split into three
characteristics, an alternative separate pieces within his hands
and pejorative Russian word, before simply vanishing. Things
barabashka, can be used to describe got worse.Various fireside items,
a domovoi gone bad – it means like buckets and irons, began
‘rattler’. to dance around, and objects
repeatedly fell to the floor
WITCH’S KITCHEN without breaking. Burning coals
An unexpected link between not only jumped from grates
witchcraft and polt-infested but passed through solid walls
chimneys, meanwhile, can be into other rooms and showered
found in a 1612 haunting from to the ground out of thin air.
JIM WATSON / AFP / GETTY IMAGES
the Bourgogne in France. Here, in Interestingly, a pot hanging over

the house of a Huguenot minister the fire took to swinging about of
named François Perrault, all kinds its own accord – perhaps it was a
of spooky wonders occurred – the ‘brownie-sway’?
explanation, supposedly, being that What exactly this whole subject
the clergyman had been cursed by signifies is a real puzzle, however.
a witch. Perrault only got his new Do modern polts sometimes
house at the expense of its previous reputedly live inside hearths,
female occupant, who had been dispossessed household fireplaces were once thought of as ovens and chimneys because they really
of the property by court order. Seeing as potentially dangerous spiritual battlefields. are, literally, the hidden folk of old? Or are
Perrault had benefited from this decision, There is even an old tradition that such accounts merely unconscious echoes
the woman blamed him for her misfortune chimneys could be appropriate places for of old fairy-lore which have found their
and, one day, she was discovered by Perrault priests and cunning men to ‘lay’ troublesome way, unexpectedly, into that type of modern
hiding inside his chimney breast, making ghosts (‘laying’ being a kind of temporary folk-tale we now call the ‘ghost story’? Or,
ritual curses and invoking Satan. Naturally, exorcism, wherein a spirit is ‘conjured’ to alternatively, is it the case that poltergeists
Perrault reported this, and the woman was live within some inaccessible location for are real but inherently ideoplastic in nature,
ordered to appear before local magistrates a certain period of time, often 100 years). changing form to suit the expectations of
and bound over to end her persecutions on 22 Bagley House in Dorset, for instance, was their victims, picking up on their childhood
December – the very day that the poltergeist supposed to have been haunted during knowledge of old fairy-stories whenever they
activity in the home ceased. Significantly, the 1880s by a male phantom that caused choose to manifest themselves?
when the ghost did finally depart, it hung two various auditory phenomena. Often, people Do any FT readers have haunted ovens or
little bells upon a nail in the chimney and would hear doors opening and closing or the chimneys of their own, I wonder? FT
was heard from no more. sound of crockery being tossed about, only
The hearth was once thought one of the for closer inspection to reveal that none of (For an account of an oven apparently being
main centres of domestic magic; just like a these events had actually occurred at all. As haunted by an incontinent ghost-badger, see
door or window, it represented an opening is the usual way, an explanatory narrative FT95:51)
through which malign influences or evil was invented, and it was said the noises
spirits could potentially pass. Many magical emanated from the ghost of a former owner Adapted from The Hidden Folk:
items like ‘witch-bottles’ (bottles filled of the house who had drowned on a hunting Are Poltergeists and Fairies Just
with pins, rags, bones, urine and other such trip many years before. Having caused much the Same Thing? by SD Tucker.
supposedly magical substances), mummified bother to the house’s inhabitants following The book is available from CFZ
cats, and empty pots intended to catch spirits his demise, it was said that a group of Press (ISBN: 9781909488403) All
are often found buried beneath hearthstones clergymen had pooled their powers to lay references can be found within.
or stuffed up chimneys when old houses are the unquiet Squire inside one of the house’s
demolished. These items had an apotropaic chimneys for a set number of years – a term
function – they were meant to ward off evil of imprisonment which had finally expired by AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY
(For witch bottles see: FT142:26, 144:51, the 1880s.
255:16. For mummified cats as guardians see: SD TUCKER is an FT
FT52:6-7, 75:13, 77;7, 286:8, 287:10.). If some UNCLEAN FUEL, UNCLEAN regular whose books
cursed item was buried beneath the hearth SPIRITS include The Hidden Folk,
instead, however, or malign spells muttered Charles Fort had an example of a haunted Forgotten Science and
within a chimneybreast, then it would be hearth. In Wild Talents, he tells of uncanny Great British Eccentrics.
reasonable to assume that this would have events within the household of a Mr JS Frost His own oven remains
had an opposite effect. As well as being used of the north London district of Hornsey. largely ornamental in
to toast crumpets and boil kettles, then, Around 1 January 1921, Mr Frost brought purpose.
40 FT342
THE GHOSTS OF
THE OSTRICH INN DR TOM LICENCE goes in search of the grisly story behind a haunted inn, and asks
whether or not such imagined histories both keep ghost stories alive and shape our
interpretations of strange phenomena...
GREG BALFOUR EVANS / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO
ABOVE: The Ostrich Inn, Colnbrook, Berkshire, built around 1500, possibly on the site of an earlier inn on this important route from Slough to London.
A THE OCCUPANT OF
bout the year 1598, the writer pulling out two iron pins below, it would
Thomas Deloney published a be let down on its hinges at dead of night,
novel called Thomas of Reading, tipping the occupant into a boiling cauldron
in which the eponymous hero,
Thomas Cole, is murdered by
THE BED WOULD beneath and killing him instantly. In Cole’s
case, however, the couple make a mistake,
the innkeeper Jarman and his wife while
staying at The Crane in Colnbrook. The BE TIPPED INTO A leaving the stable door open. Cole’s horse
bolts and is discovered. Jarman flees,
BOILING CAULDRON
couple, whenever they spied a rich guest, and his wife confesses to 60 murders.
would set the ‘fat pig’ in a special chamber The innkeeper is then apprehended in
above the kitchen, where the bed was Windsor forest, and both are hanged. Henry
sewn to the sides of the bedstead, which
was nailed to a trapdoor in the floor. By AND KILLED I (reigned 1100-35), in whose reign the
novel is set, is so saddened at hearing of
42 FT342
Cole’s death that he grieves for seven days, attempting to include detail from a known contemporary scandals to create exciting
orders that the The Crane be burnt to the story without diverting attention from stories may account for the murders in
ground, and commands that the spot never Cole in the moving scene that precedes his Thomas of Reading. Perhaps the tale of
be built on again. The novelist then hints murder. During Cole’s last hours, Deloney Jarman’s murders in Colnbrook borrowed
that there might be some truth behind the refers to no other character by name from a notorious case, which Deloney
story, remarking that the river where Cole’s except Thomas Dove, to whom Cole wants adapted for an historical setting, omitting the
body was found subsequently received his to bequeath money. The innkeeper’s name killer’s name until the end so as to suspend
name, and the town came to be known as is revealed after he has fled and appears the make-believe for as long as possible
‘Colebrooke’ (i.e. Colnbrook, near Slough in twice in the next two sentences. Deloney before cleverly linking it to reality. It may
Berkshire). moved from ballads onto more extended be that Deloney had spent too long as a
Deloney’s fiction catered for popular and creative prose works in the last years ‘journalist’ to hide a true story completely.
Elizabethan tastes, which favoured high of his life, but his long experience of using
romance set against a backdrop of English THE OSTRICH INN
history. A writer of ballads and broadsheets The town of Colnbrook stands on four
for the public, he borrowed from the channels of the river Colne, which formed a
chronicles, peddling tales of kings, queens county boundary between Buckinghamshire
and romantic figures such as Lady Godiva, and Middlesex, emerging as a convenient
Wat Tyler and Jack Straw. Deloney also drew stopover point on the main Slough–Windsor
on contemporary scandals and worked them route to London. The Ostrich Inn, which
into an historical setting. His ballad ‘The fronts the road, was built c.1500 and included
Lamentation of Mr Page’s wife’, concerning the two adjoining shops beyond what is the
a woman sentenced to die for the murder present dining area, although the staircase
of her husband, was based upon an actual and much of the panelling are 17th-century.
incident from the 1590s. His broadside from Local tradition says that The Ostrich occupies
1586 covering the contemporary Babington the site of an earlier inn (hospitium) granted
conspiracy gives an account of the trials and by Milo Crispin to the abbey of Abingdon
execution of the culprits at Lincoln’s Inn c.1106. The hospitium is, however, more likely
Fields. Deloney could not fit the names of the to have been associated with the ‘Spital
alleged traitors into the ballad proper, so he Bridge’ mentioned in 1443 (such hostelries
tacked them on at the end. 1 often being located at bridges), or ‘le Spital
In Thomas of Reading it is only at the end House’, referred to in 1605 and 1635, a
that we learn that the innkeeper’s name was name surviving in the present ‘Spital Farm’.
‘Jarman’. If Deloney had invented the story Colnbrook of course had numerous inns,
one might expect the name to appear nearer including The Catherine Wheel, The Talbot,
the beginning. Its appearance, instead, as The Pelican, The Angel and The George,
an afterthought, could suggest that he was and was clearly an important resting point.
ETIENNE GILFILLAN
ABOVE: Thomas Deloney’s 1598 novel Thomas of Reading. ABOVE: Sarah Morgan, current manager of The Ostrich, reports strange phenomena in the pub (see editorial).
FT342 43
The names and institutions were often in
existence long before their appearance in
the scanty records. The earliest reference
to “the Inn known as Oastriche” occurs in
October 1648. 2 A bird familiar to folklore
since the 13th century, its name appears
in a range of different spellings, as ostrig,
ostrice, ostridge, esterige, estryche, eastrich
and eastridge. The inn perhaps bore the
sign of a large ostrich-like bird, though
the sign-painter may never have seen an
ostrich. Deloney’s inn is The Crane, and
the Oxford English Dictionary notes that
an ornithologist was the first to remark in
1678 that ‘crane’ could be used generically
of any large bird, such as a stork, the crane
itself being formerly abundant in England.
From the 13th century, the stork could also like naming the barman ‘Potboy’ to denote
be interchangeable with the ostrich, a bird
familiar in folklore. While Colnbrook also
“THERE CAN BE his profession in the novel. Deloney may have
named him for no other reason. Nor is there
had The Pelican, this latter bird possessed its
own iconography in Christianity as a symbol NO DOUBTABOUT any record of a Jarman or Jarmayne standing
trial for murder at the London assizes, nor
THE MURDERS. A
of Christ. If Deloney’s inn is modelled on any of murders at The Ostrich. In the novel, the
establishment in Colnbrook, The Ostrich is culprits are hanged.
the strongest contender. The first history of the parish, however,
So what of Jarman? Parish records
mention no one of this name either in LEGEND JUST CAN’T does link murders to The Ostrich. Gordon
Gyll, writing in 1862, relays what he calls
Horton, the parish in which Colnbrook is
situated, or Langley its neighbour. There was
a man with the similar name John Germeyn
START BY ITSELF” a ‘local tradition’. In the reign of Edward
I (1272-1307) the bodies of 13 murdered
persons were supposedly taken from The
there in 1332, one of the richer parishioners, Ostrich to be hurled into the Thames. One
and we find among the baptisms in Horton, died and was buried elsewhere. ‘Germeyn’ slipped from the cart and landed on a strip
in the year 1575, the baptism of ‘Jarmayne’, and ‘Jarmayne’ are the same surname, and it of land called Welly, which separated the
a daughter of ‘John Jarmayne’. 3 His own would therefore appear that an established parishes of Horton and Datchet. Horton
baptism, if local, is not on record because family with a name like Jarman could be refused to bury the body, and because
the register commences in 1572. Nor is his found in Colnbrook in Deloney’s time. Calling Datchet agreed to do so, Datchet that day
death recorded, so we must assume that John the innkeeper Jarman, however, was a bit claimed the land and received the rates for
ETIENNE GILFILLAN
TOP: Television’s Most Haunted team visited The Ostrich in 2002. ABOVE: The inn’s ‘Elizabethan Room’.
44 FT342
it. What is curious about that Jarman was an evil
the story is that it bears man who killed lots of
no relation to the one told people. Drawn dramatically
by Thomas Deloney. It into the kitchen with the
implicates the unnamed aid of his spirit-guide
innkeeper, who must have ‘Sam’, he becomes visibly
arranged for the disposal of distressed, remarking
the victims, but apart from “a lot of souls lost their
the similarity with Jarman’s lives here”. Acorah then
arrangements of throwing begins to gasp for breath
bodies down a well and and enacts the experience
dumping Cole in a river, the of being boiled to death
details differ, and the story in what he describes as
relates to a disputed parish “a big tub”. Karl asks
boundary. whether they can talk with
Jarman, but the latter
ENTER THE is unresponsive. Acorah
GHOSTS has to leave the kitchen,
Such was the stage on which still recovering from his
ghosts began to appear. oppressive experience.
The first record of them is At 3am he leads them to
from the early 1970s. It is the loft, where he senses
a mark of its novelty that that ‘a book – a history”
neither Jack Hallam, author is hidden. Then a subtitle
of The Haunted Inns of flashes up on the screen:
England (1972), nor Antony “History Book: Published
D Hippisley Coxe, author in 1632. The Book holds
of Haunted Britain (1973), accounts of alleged murders
was aware of any haunting at the Inn”. Fielding states
at The Ostrich. Nor were the twice in the commentary
authors of the indispensable that it is a ‘history’ book.
Folklore, Myths and Legends The reference can only be
of Britain, published by to Deloney’s sixth edition
Reader’s Digest in 1973, (1632). If compared with
which includes an entry other editions (e.g., fourth,
about the inn and Deloney’s 1612; fifth, 1623; seventh,
story of the murders. It is 1636; eighth, 1676), it
the first book, incidentally, reveals no change in our
to associate Deloney’s story. The team leave
ETIENNE GILFILLAN
account with The Ostrich. without being able to speak

Where ghosts were reported with Jarman.
it mentions them. None
are noted at The Ostrich. A GHOST HUNT
It was another book, published that same ABOVE: The model of Jarman’s tipping bed, with its vat After the programme was aired, the Ghost
year, which brought the inn to the attention of boiling oil below, still kept in the bar of The Ostrich Club arranged three investigations at The
of ghost hunters. Marc Alexander’s Haunted and apparently based on a “much earlier one which Ostrich in late 2003. I was fortunate enough
Inns (1973) relied on the landlord Derek wore out with age and use”. to attend the second of these (1-2 November
Lamont, who told the author: “I feel there 2003), and the third, and to be in a position
can be no doubt about the murders. A legend separately and viewers are told that the of never having watched Most Haunted and
like that just can’t start by itself.” Lamont location and its history are unknown to of knowing nothing about the alleged ghostly
showed Alexander a window in an upstairs him. Fielding introduces the venue, setting phenomena, though I did recall reading
toilet through which the Jarmans were said Deloney’s story in the era of Gyll’s but about the murders in the Reader’s Digest
to have peered into the adjoining bedroom mentioning neither: “It’s said that in the volume. We were shown the model of the
to check that their victims were asleep. A 14th century an evil landlord called Jarman tipping bed, which was gathering dust in
working model of the tipping bed was kept in committed gruesome murders…” and so on. a small glass case. Later in the evening we
the bar. It had been copied a few years ago, Meanwhile, Karl looks for ‘disturbances’ with were also shown the blocked-up window
“from a much earlier one which had worn out an electromagnetic field detector and uses a between the ‘Blue Room’ and the upstairs
with age and use”. The ghosts were thought thermal gun to search for cold spots. Acorah toilet. Prior to this we were given the chance
to be those of the guests who perished in the arrives. Employing psychometry, he touches to wander around, so that investigators like
cauldron. parts of the building and objects to ‘tune in’. me who knew nothing of the setting might
Thirty years later they moved from stage Swan, talking with Fielding, identifies the get the feel of the place. Normally the
to screen. It was the era of paranormal ‘Blue Room’ above the kitchen as the lethal upstairs rooms were closed to the public, or
investigation, characterised by an eclectic chamber. He says it’s “a bit daunting at night used only for functions, but on this occasion
mix of occult crafts, such as dowsing and time”. Fielding cites words from Deloney’s the landlord, Peter – new since the filming of
mediumship, and scientific apparatus, such novel, referring to the Jarmans’ habit of the TV programme – opened them up.
as the Gauss meter, digital camera, and calling a victim “a big fat pig”, but viewers I started my tour, alone. This is part of the
electronic thermometer. In an episode of are never told that it is fiction. She shows account I wrote that night in 2003:
Most Haunted filmed in 2002, presenter where the trapdoor was, over the deep-fat Walking out of the ‘Elizabethan Room’,
Yvette Fielding, parapsychologist Jason fryer in the kitchen. In a detail new to the the next room I entered was a small bar
Karl and medium Derek Acorah conducted legend, she adds that Jarman stored the behind it. The lights were off. I cast my eyes
a vigil at The Ostrich at the invitation of bodies in the pantry. around and after a short while left the room.
the landlord Daniel Swan. In accordance Acorah is now ‘tuned in’. He picks up the Next I entered the room next door, the ‘Blue
with the usual format, Acorah is led there names ‘Jarman’ and ‘Thomas Cole’, sensing Room’. This was just before 11.05pm and
FT342 45
The Ostrich are like visits to the Veronese
tourist attraction known as ‘Juliet’s Tomb’ to
speak with the ghost of Shakespeare’s tragic
heroine. Failing that, one could try ‘Juliet’s
Balcony’. The difference in Juliet’s case is
that nobody suppresses the fact that she is a
fictional character, whereas in Jarman’s case,
individuals ranging from Marc Alexander to
the production team of Most Haunted have
encouraged us to believe not only that he
was real, but also that his spectre haunts The
Ostrich. A similar approach is observable in
the two seasons of Great British Ghosts (2011,
2012), presented by Michaela Strachan, in
which guest ‘experts’ and ‘historians’ turn
out to be ghost aficionados who may or may
not have historical training. Were I to appear
PHOTOS: ETIENNE GILFILLAN
on telly with the subtitle of ‘plumber’,

viewers might reasonably infer that I could
fix a boiler, whether or not the fault was
blamed on gremlins. This veneer of history,
like the veneer of science enveloping the
hobby in its wizardry of gadgets, lends an air
of authority to a pursuit that is experiential.
again the lights were off. As I stood inside my It implies that ghosts operate within bounds
face started to flush and tingle and I sensed of known disciplines as we comprehend
such an oppressive feeling of hostility and them.
discomfort growing on me that I could not Strange things happen, such as my
bear to stay in the room and made a hasty experiences at The Ostrich. Tales like the
exit. As I left I shuddered violently and one about Jarman perform a useful function,
shook, but once I went back into the corridor for by imposing coherence and meaning
again, I felt fine. upon unexplained phenomena they keep a
Later I returned to the room a couple of haunting alive. If there is a story, an audience
times, once with a similar result and then on has the option of tying phenomena – bumps,
an occasion when others were in there, and thumps, shadows, and the like – in with that
the atmosphere seemed less thick. On the story, thereby reinforcing and perpetuating
fourth approach, when the room was empty it, while at the same time using it to explain
and in darkness, I noted the following in the such phenomena. We might end up ascribing
report: significance to anomalies we would scarcely
This time, however, I approached it alone notice elsewhere, such as temperature
and stood outside the door, peering in to the drops, a cold draught, tingly sensations,
darkened room. As I stood there I suddenly an unexplained sound, a flash of light in
felt such a strong sense that something the corner of the eye… The question for
within the room was dashing out towards me paranormal researchers is whether the same
from around the corner that I started and, stories that keep hauntings alive also cloud
rather unprofessionally, ran off. our judgement and deter real observation.
At 1.30am, having told this to no one, I Jarman may have been real, but if he is
was talking with a fellow investigator, Jean, TOP: The ‘Blue Room’ – now used as a storeroom –
merely a fiction enlisted to give meaning to
in the bar downstairs, who said that she had where the author reported some strange experiences. activity at The Ostrich, it remains to be asked
sensed a very oppressive atmosphere in an ABOVE: A stained glass window behind the bar show- what really is happening there… FT
upstairs room and described it as the room ing Jarman’s notorious bed tipping its occupant into
that “pushes you out”. It turned out to be the the cauldron below. AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY
‘Blue Room’. Some in the group claimed to
have communicated with spirits, or sensed occasion, only the drowning of one central DR TOM LICENCE is a Senior
a ghostly presence, or detected strange character. Yet the ingredients of immersive Lecturer in History at the
phenomena with electronic gadgets. theatre are similar to those of the modern University of East Anglia, a
phenomenon of paranormal investigation, Fellow of the Royal Historical
THEATRE OF SPIRITS which Most Haunted and more recent shows Society, and a Fellow of the
Fast-forward 10 years, to the age of have done so much to shape. A stage is Society of Antiquaries.
immersive theatre. It’s 2013 and The needed – an ancient inn? – with a story and
Drowned Man: A Hollywood Fable is showing characters. Murders are always good, the NOTES
in London, if ‘showing’ is the correct word, grislier the better. Throw in a few props: a 1 Merritt E. Lawlis, The Novels of Thomas Deloney
(Indiana 1961), p.xxvi, and see Eugene Wright,
for the theatre company Punchdrunk has model of a tipping bed, a secret window, a
Thomas Deloney, Twayne’s English Authors Series
taken over an old postal sorting office and trapdoor. Give some to the participants to 323 (Boston 1981).
transformed it into a detailed set on multiple make it more immersive – if not masks, then 2 Deeds and Records, Buckinghamshire
levels. Participants – the audience – are thermal guns, or a Gauss meter. Punchdrunk Archaeological Society Records 5 (1943) p.28.
given anonymous masks and invited to should put on a play about a haunting. Ghost 3 Gordon Gyll, History of the parish of Wraysbury,
wander around, immersing themselves in this hunters should pass a night in a fairground Ankerwycke Priory … with the History of Horton and
complex stage and gaining insights into the House of Horror. (They have of course.) the Town of Colnbrook, Bucks (London 1862), p.257.
characters, as the actors appear and perform So what of Jarman, that character from 4 On this phenomenon generally see Josephine
their parts on a perpetual loop around the pages of Shakespeare’s contemporary, Machon, Immersive Theatres: Intimacy and
them.4 Perhaps Jarman was there too, though Deloney? It is hard to avoid the impression Immediacy in Contemporary Performance (Palgrave
Macmillan, 2013).
there was no boiling alive enacted on this that attempts to communicate with him at
46 FT342
THE SPECTRE OF
THE FERRY BOAT INN
THE MAKING OF A MODERN GHOST STORY
ROBERT HALLIDAY pops into one of Cambridgeshire’s most historic inns for a pint and a spot of
ghost-hunting – but is this classic pub haunting all it’s cracked up to be?
J
uliet Tewsley’s ghost haunts the rowed people over the Ouse.The ferry is (whom he called ‘Miss BM’) and three
historic Ferry Boat Inn in the mentioned in Charles Kingsley’s historical acquaintances (David Wright and a married
picturesque riverside village of novel Hereward The Wake (1866). In chapter couple, Roy and Brenda) heard that a ‘White
Holywell. In 1050, the 19-year-old 30, ‘How Hereward played the potter’, he Lady’ materialised in the Ferry Boat Inn
Juliet was spurned by Thomas Zoul, escapes the Normans by crossing the river every 17 March, to point to the flagstone
the man she loved. Hanging herself in grief here.The Inn is mostly 18th century, but that marked her grave, which became
on 17 March, she was buried beside the path parts date to the 16th. 2 loose that night.They decided to visit on
to the ferry, and a stone laid on her grave. The legend of Juliet Tewsley was, in fact, the night of 17 March. Finding that the
Years passed and the Ferry Boat Inn was created by the psychic researcher Anthony flagstone was loose, they stood on it, rocking
built over the stone. On the anniversary of Donald Cornell, better known as Tony it, while inviting the ghost to appear (which
her death, her ghost rises to point to her Cornell. Born in Histon, near Cambridge, in they never seriously expected to happen).
grave, one of the longest-lasting apparitions 1923,Tony investigated local ghost stories Borrowing a tin tray from the bar, they wrote
in the British Isles. while still a teenager. Naval service in WWII an alphabet around the edge, upturned a
This persistent legend has become took him to India, where he met ‘holy men’ wineglass on it and held a makeshift séance.
an accepted part of British ghostlore. whose spiritual powers impressed him. He Finding this amusing, the locals and barman
It contains some of the best elements studied at Cambridge University, graduating joined in. Over 45 minutes they received
of a classic ‘true’ ghost story: a scenic in 1949, becoming the leading member answers to 17 questions.
rural village, an innocent victim, an of the Cambridge University Society For Who are you?
unsympathetic villain, characters one Psychical Research (CUSPR). 3 “I am Juliet”.
can care about, a story that leaves one In 1953,Tony, his then girlfriend Where did you die?
wishing for more details, verifiable folklore
(suicides were buried at crossroads) and
an association with the legendary past –
all centred on a pub in which to enjoy a
convivial drink waiting for the ghost to
appear.
It is therefore a pity that investigation
proves the legend to be a modern invention,
promulgated almost by accident in 1953.
The legend shows not so much how unquiet
spirits become ghosts, as how an invented
story can become accepted as true.
CONTACTING JULIET
Holywell is a small village in
Huntingdonshire, one of England’s
smallest counties, which was merged into
Cambridgeshire in 1974. Beside the River
Ouse, 12 miles (19 km) west of Cambridge,
and three miles (5km) east of St Ives, its
name derives from a spring beside the
churchyard. A picture-book example of an
English rural village, it attracted an artistic
colony in the 20th century. 1
The Ferry Boat Inn lies at the east end TOP: A photograph of Juliet Tewsley, the Ferry Boat Inn ghost, supposedly taken in 1953 and printed on the
of Holywell. Until the 1930s, innkeepers front page of the Peterborough Citizen and Advertiser on 1 February 1955.
48 FT342
ROBERT HALLIDAY
ABOVE: The Ferry Boat Inn, Holywell, Huntingdonshire, parts of which date back to the 16th century. BELOW: Tony Cornell, Cambridge researcher and poltergeist expert, photo-
graphed in 1961 carrying a trunk of CUSPR equipment. Earlier, in 1953, he and some friends had tried to contact the ‘White Lady’ of the Ferry Boat Inn.
“Here”. Anglo-Saxon could communicate in 20th

How did you die?
“Hanged”
THEY STOOD ON century English.
Tony Cornell later said he and his friends
Why were you hanged?
“Because I loved Thomas”.
THE FLAGSTONE were unsure how they had heard the ghost
story.They searched printed sources and
When did you die?
“1050”. WHILE INVITING THE asked Holywell residents for information
without success. 5
Is your grave in this room?
“Yes” GHOSTTO APPEAR HUNTING FOR JULIET
Under the stone? The episode might have been forgotten were
“Yes”. it not for the fact that in the following year,
The glass spelt “Here I find peace” and “I 1954, Jack Rodd, the landlord of the Ferry
am lonely and speak”. Boat Inn, invited Tony Cornell to conduct
After the Ferry Boat closed Tony and his another investigation on 17 March with eight
friends continued the séance on a ‘Ouija’ other CUSPR members, promising them
board in the Blue Boar Inn opposite Trinity a free meal. Mr Rodd was more interested
College in Cambridge.The ghost’s second in increasing trade than investigating the
name was Tewslie; she hanged herself on paranormal.The Cambridge Daily News
17 March 1050, for love of Thomas Zoul, a announced a ‘h(a)unting day’ for Juliet
woodcutter. ‘Tousley’, when tape recorders and infra-
The five psychic researchers had often red sensors would prove her existence.The
participated in séances, and admitted that Huntingdonshire Post asked: “Will mystery of
the messages were produced by their own Holywell’s woman in white be laid?” After 900
minds: experience had probably made years, psychic workers and journalists would
them adept at moving the indicator to greet the ghost.The séance messages were
spell answers.The names were historically reported, with some reservations expressed,
inconsistent with 1050: ‘Juliet’ was possibly but in a way that lent them credibility. Mrs
chosen because of Shakespeare’s tragic Rodd said she had not heard about the ghost
love story, and while ‘Thomas’ is a Biblical until the previous year, yet the supposed
name, it only became popular after Thomas gravestone, always immobile, rocked when
Becket’s martyrdom in Canterbury in 1170. stood on last 17 March.Tom Arnold, a pub
Tewsley and Zoul are very unusual surnames, regular expressed doubts, but said that once
FORTEAN / DAVIS / TOPFOTO
besides which, hereditary surnames were not he had heard the pub door open and a cough
commonly used in England until the 13th for attention when nobody was there. 6
century. 4 Nobody bearing either name has Jack Rodd applied to the bench of
been traced in Holywell (or elsewhere).There magistrates to extend opening hours “to
was also the question of how an 11th century explore a legend” by looking for a female
FT342 49
ROBERT HALLIDAY
ABOVE LEFT: The author points out the flagstone that supposedly marks the grave of Juliet Tewsley in the bar of the Ferry Boat Inn. ABOVE RIGHT: The Daily Herald of 18
March 1954 reports on the ghost hunt. FACING PAGE: On the following day, the same newspaper tells of the experiment’s unsuccessful conclusion.
“DOORS BANG AT
ghost.The chair of the bench asked: “Do you “Look Tim”.Tim West, the CUSPR secretary,
think she will appear?” Jack Rodd replied: stood while a white sheet was placed over
“I hope not. If the ghost does appear my wife his chair, but nothing was seen and sonic
will disappear!” While thinking it rather silly,
the magistrates granted an extension.The
NIGHTAND THINGS equipment failed to register anything.The
psychic researchers abandoned a far from
Huntingdonshire Post gave this front-page
coverage.The Daily Mail reported that: “The
ARE MOVED FROM solitary vigil at 2am, dispirited, literally and
metaphorically.Tony ruefully recalled that,
white lady (aged 900) has positively promised
to try a materialisation… Never has such THEIR PLACES” despite the trade they brought Jack Rodd,
they never received their promised meal. 8
a reception been prepared for an habitual The Daily Herald reported that “at dawn
haunter as has been laid on at the Ferry Boat people crowded outside looking through the yesterday disappointed ghost hunters left the
Inn for tomorrow night”. (It is unclear how windows. Cars blocked the approach road Ferry Boat Inn and the village returned to
the ghost had promised to appear. Had the and the village streets. The CUSPR members reality.” Alexander George McLennan Pearce
press interviewed her?) 7 manfully tried to maintain a ghost watch Higgins, the rector of Holywell, was quoted
On 17 March 1954, press reporters and surrounded by flashing cameras, inquisitive as saying “the legend is bunkum. No one has
a BBC radio team had booked every spare reporters and drinkers. During a ‘Ouija’ seen Juliet and no one ever will”. A letter
room in the Ferry Boat Inn.The bar, and an board session they received the message from Juliet ‘Teuslie’ in the Huntingdonshire
emergency second bar were packed, and “I am trying to materialise”, followed by Post said: “I’ve been dead for centuries, very
50 FT342
dead, and on no account would I satisfy the authors to investigate ghost stories
thirsty curiosity of a few worldly humans to objectively, visited Holywell in the early
see me… My grave was excavated 40 years 1970s.Tom Arnold (mentioned in an early
ago and no trace of my mortal remains was press report) told her that in 1953 Jack Rodd
found”. 9 had wanted to boost trade.The Loch Ness
Monster was in the news, and when it was
INVENTING JULIET suggested that a similar story might bring
The Revd. Higgins wrote a short story, ‘The visitors to Holywell,Tom told the story of the
spectre of Holywell’, embroidering the tale White Lady, saying it was an old tale he had
with new details, saying Juliet was buried by heard from his grandparents. [15] Was this
the ferry path as a suicide. (The practice of a false memory, when Tom re-imagined the
burying suicides at crossroads, documented events of the 1950s 20 years later? Or did
from the 16th century, was abolished in Tom’s grandparents really tell him the story?
1823. It might derive from a belief that this Or did Tom invent it for the occasion? Perhaps
confused the suicide’s ghost, preventing it an imagined folktale grew unpredictably.
returning to haunt its home.) Juliet’s spirit On 17 March 2003 I attended a Ghost Club
lingered while the inn was built over her event chaired by FT’s own Alan Murdie at the
grave, until a ghost hunter arrived one day Ferry Boat Inn, celebrating the story’s 50th
and she promised to return every year. (The anniversary. Local folk singers performed
narrative mentioned Shakespeare, perhaps ditties about Juliet, saying these dated to
a jibe at the origin of Juliet’s name.) Revd. the 18th century: it seemed impolite to tell
Higgins concluded by saying that everything about the place.The dogs bark and run them this could not be the case. An amateur
he had written was imaginary, since Juliet from the room with the hair on their necks séance produced no messages.Tony Cornell,
never existed. 10 bristling. Doors bang at night and things are as guest of honour, regaled us with an account
The following year, the Farmer’s Weekly moved from their proper places.” of his exploits. A conscientious investigator,
wrote that watching for Juliet Tewsley, There were plans to call in the RAF with he thought that, while some of over 500 cases
“Britain’s prettiest and liveliest ghost”, radar equipment to prove Juliet’s existence. 12 he investigated could not be explained by
every 17 March was an age-old custom, citing Popular books about ghost stories have natural cases, most were caused by human
her story as a documented historical fact. since told Juliet’s story as a traditional folk susceptibility, or even outright fraud. It was
It was said (incorrectly) that the bar room tale or even a historical event, often adding amusing that one of Tony’s least successful
turned cold and a blue mist appeared during fresh details for dramatic effect while investigations created one of Britain’s best-
Tony Cornell’s séance.This elicited a reply ignoring any historical inconsistencies. The known ghost stories.
from Revd. Higgins, repeating his story, but Ghost Hunter’s Road Book said that 17 March March 17 usually brings some extra
omitting the disclaimer that it was made up; was known as ‘Juliet’s Day’ in Holywell.The drinkers to the Ferry Boat, and a few other
perhaps it was thought nobody would pay landlord told Peter Underwood, a prolific visitors arrived.These included a couple
attention. 11 author on the supernatural: “The dog will from Peterborough who said they last visited
By 1955, a press feature on the Ferry Boat not go near the gravestone, and of course on the night of 17 March 1993, by pure
Inn could embellish the newly created legend the local women don’t come near the inn on coincidence, not knowing that the inn was
even further. Juliet was “the life and soul of March 17”. Haunted Inns Of England claimed supposed to be haunted. On that occasion,
every party and was nearly always crowned that 17 March attracted revellers from around they saw a strange light in the windows,
Queen of May”, while Thomas Zoul was “a the world; The Haunted Pub Guide said the which the pub staff could not explain.
broad shouldered well-built young man with last person to see the ghost died in the 1960s Perhaps something really does happen at the
a handsome face and curly black hair” who (an irritatingly vague statement); Haunted Ferry Boat on 17 March after all… FT
“preferred a game of ninepins and a glass Pubs In Britain And Ireland added that the
of ale to the company of girls”. While Tony pub was sometimes filled with mysterious AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY
Cornell’s investigations were reported in music, which only women could hear, while
an ambivalent fashion, it was stated that dogs growled and bristled when taken near ROBERT HALLIDAY has
“many people claim to have seen the ghost”, the stone. Juliet received an entry in The worked for various heritage
although none were quoted or identified. Ghosts’ Who’s Who, 13 and in 1991 Joe Newell, organisations, including
Perhaps the legend’s growing popularity had a 70-year-old resident, wrote a history of the Churches Conservation
fuelled a claim that the Ferry Boat Inn dated Holywell asserting that the legend of Juliet Trust. His publications
to the 11th century. A new landlord, Aidan Tewsley was essentially true: she had gained include Cambridge Ghosts,
Farwell said: “I don’t believe in ghosts myself. full acceptance. 14 co-authored with Alan Murdie and
But there is definitely something strange Joan Forman, one of the few popular Cambridgeshire Strange But True.
NOTES Investigating The Paranormal, Norris Museum, St. Ives, roadside burial of suicides: an Reader’s Digest Association,
Helix Press, 2002, recounts 1984, do not mention Juliet East Anglian study’, Folklore 1977, p266; Marc Alexander,
1 There is a history of Holywell
his experiences as a psychic Tewsley. 121 (April 2010) pp81-93. Haunted Pubs In Britain And
in the forbiddingly large three
researcher. Chapter six, ‘the 6 Cambridge Daily News, 29 11 Farmer’s Weekly, 18 Mar Ireland Sphere Books, 1984,
volume Victoria County History
Ferry Boat Inn ghost’, pp65-78, Jan 1954, p13; 3 Feb 1954, 1955, p143; 13 May 1955, pp25-7; Guy Lyon Playfair, The
of The County Of Huntingdon,
describes his investigations at p11; Huntingdonshire Post, 4 p113. Haunted Pub Guide, Javelin
edited by W Page, G Proby and
Holywell. Feb 1954, p5. Books, 1987, p33; JA Brooks,
S Inskipp Ladds, University of 12 Peterborough Citizen
4 EG Withycombe, The Oxford Britain’s Haunted Heritage,
London Institute Of Historical 7 Huntingdonshire Post, 11 And Advertiser, 1 Feb 1955,
Dictionary Of English Christian Jarrold, 1990, pp109-10;
Research, 1926-1936, 2: Mar 1954, p1; Daily Mail, 1 pp1, 9.
Names, 1977, pp183-4, 279- Richard Jones, Haunted Britain
pp175-178. For a short Mar 1954, p3.
80; Basil Cottle, The Penguin 13 John Harries, The Ghost And Ireland, New Holland,
historical guide see Joe
Dictionary Of Surnames, 8 Cambridge Daily Hunter’s Road Book, Frederick 2001, pp82-3; Jennifer
Newell, The Holywell Story,
1978. News, 18 Mar 1954, p9; Muller, 1968, pp74-5; Peter Westwood and Jacqueline
Graham-Cameron Publishing,
Huntingdonshire Post, 25 Mar Underwood, A Gazetteer Of Simpson, The Lore Of The
1991. 5 Two excellent books about 1954, p7. British Ghosts, Souvenir Press, Land, Penguin Books, 2005,
2 An Inventory Of The local folklore and traditions: 1971, pp101-2; Jack Hallam, pp362-3; 868-9.
Historical Monuments In WH Bernard Saunders, 9 Daily Herald, 18 Mar
1954, p5; 19 Mar 1954, p5; The Haunted Inns Of England, 14 J Newell, The Holywell
Huntingdonshire, Royal Legends And Traditions Of Wolfe Publishing, 1972,
Huntingdonshire, Simpkin Huntingdonshire Post, 25 Mar Story, pp42-5.
Commission On Historical pp93-5; Jack Hallam, The
Monuments, 1926, p142. Marshall, 1888 and 1954, p8. 15 Joan Forman, Haunted East
Ghosts’ Who’s Who, David And
Charles Frederick Tebbutt, 10 Huntingdonshire Post, 15 Charles, 1977, p235; Folklore, Anglia, Robert Hale, 1974,
3 Tony Cornell’s autobiography
Huntingdonshire Folklore, Apr 1954, p9; R Halliday, ‘The Myths And Legends Of Britain, pp103-7.
FT342 51
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sdsdsvdsvs
Social media, cyberspace and spirits...

CHRIS SAUNDERS dims the lights, logs on and joins “The First Ever Live digital Facebook séance”
about to see a live stream by the band

CHRIS SAUNDERS has written The Darkness.
for FT on Welsh portents, the 27 As of now, there are 1.6k viewers, and a
Club, the Boston bombing and
question is finally selected.
Chinese UFOs. He writes fiction
under the name of CM Saunders. “Is my mother watching over me?”
“Yes. Always.”
P
1.4k.
eople will do anything to “Is my brother okay in the afterlife?”
get ahead in marketing, but “Yes. Oh, wait! No, he’s not okay. He
posters, print ads, celebrity needs help. We should all pray for him.”
endorsements and TV trailers Right on cue, one of Britt’s EMF
just don’t cut it any more. Even the detectors goes off.There’s more film guff,
Internet, with its limitless possibilities, and Madam Mistica says the spirits are
is often just more of the same: sleek making the candles flicker.
(and not-so-sleek) YouTube videos and 1.1k.
clever viral marketing campaigns are up with things like, “Has it started yet?” NOTES “Where’s my daughter?” (Somewhere
ten a penny.To make your book/album/ “I don’t see anything”, and “What do 1 https://gnostalgia. in the world, a game of hide-and-seek
set of garden shears truly stand out we do?” wordpress. must have gone terribly wrong.)
from the crowd, you need to be both Then a lady helpfully informs us com/2010/10/03/ “I don’t know where she is. Maybe she
the-dark-side-of-britt-
innovative and creative.You have to that we are all on the wrong page. went to the beach.”
griffith/
take risks, and do things that haven’t Doh! Refresh. Suddenly we see Britt “My mother just died from lung
been done before.That’s why the people sitting at a table in a darkened room You can watch cancer. Is she doing good?” (Personally, I
behind of one of this year’s would-be with a load of candles and some the event ‘as live’ don’t think you need a medium to answer
supernatural blockbusters, The Darkness fancy ghost hunting equipment. He here: https://www. that question.)
(from the producers of Insidious and The doesn’t appear to be armed.There’s facebook.com/ Question of the night comes from Britt
TheDarknessMov/
Purge) decided to hold what was billed a quick movie intro and some spiel himself, who chips in with: “Have the
as “The First Ever Live Digital Facebook about the Anasazi, the ancient Native Anasazi seen the movie yet?”
Séance”. American culture that plays a central “No. But they are very happy they are
Yes. A séance.Via Facebook. Attended role in the plot; then Madam Mistica being remembered.”
virtually by thousands of people from all shows up with a translator in tow. She A few commenters pick up on the fact
over the world and hosted by Spanish- immediately announces that there are that Madam Mistica is skilfully ducking
speaking ‘celebrity medium’ Mistica “about 20” presences in the room, some answering any real questions – like
Maria Louisa and Britt Griffith, who representing the Anasazi, but they won’t whether or not Suge Knight offed Tupac.
once got himself fired from the cast of talk to us because they are shy. Okay... She does mention, however, that we
Ghost Hunters and who confesses to “no Instead, Britt asks viewers to shouldn’t light candles in our bedrooms
longer investigating unarmed”. 1 provide their names and dates of birth because it’s a fire hazard, and that
It all sounded as far removed from and ask a question, which Madam lemons offer protection. Whether she
an antiquatedVictorian parlour as you Mistica will attempt to answer after thinks lemons offer protection against
could get, and the presence of a volatile selecting a ‘victim’. I ask who killed spirits or fire isn’t clear.The Anasazi
gun nut who thinks he can shoot ghosts JFK. Disappointingly, my question is don’t want to talk to us any more.They
made the spectacle irresistible. What ignored. Other questions from curious are ‘afraid’. Probably of Britt.
could possibly go wrong? observers include: “Is Hillary Clinton 893.
Well, anyone who’s tried arranging the Antichrist?” “Where are my keys?” Finally, after 75 minutes of
so much as a conference call knows that “Can ghosts use Facebook?” “Am I going excruciating dullness, the “First Ever
anything, and possibly everything, can to get laid tonight?” “Should I wear Live Digital Facebook Séance” draws to
go wrong where technology is involved. my black shoes or the brown ones?” a close. As a marketing ploy, it seemed
But as long as my laptop didn’t get “Who’s going to win the NBA Playoffs?” to work. For a while. It generated a lot
possessed and I wasn’t on the same and, hilariously, “Do they know it’s of online discussion, even if most of it
continent as Britt Griffith, I was game. Christmas?” was tongue-in-cheek. But the fact that
And so, at 3am on Friday 6 May Someone else asks simply, “What the the broadcast lost almost 50 per cent
(7pm PDT), I make a pot of coffee, log fuck is going on?” while another doesn’t of its viewers before the end and the
on to Facebook from my home in East ask anything, instead typing “I WANT organisers didn’t seem to know what
Finchley, and sit there expectantly. BLOOD” repeatedly, which is a bit a séance actually entails, means that
Nothing happens. disconcerting. One poor soul leaves in a ultimately the event has to go in the ‘epic
The comment box soon starts filling huff after apparently thinking they were fail’ column. FT
FT342 53
forum fortean tv
Ghosties and ghoulies and completely explicable little flying

lights Derek would scamper over and
start communicating with them via
low-lighty beasties his spirit guide, Sam. At this point the

full-on vaudeville of Acorah’s schtick
would come roaring into life: wandering
around a 400-year-old pub in some
historic English town, Derek would
Stu neville ponders fads and fashions in fortean-themed television confidently assert there was a man
there, called John, who was a father
Ghostwatch (see FT67:38-42; 166:36-41), with children. Frowning, eyes closed and
STU NEVILLE is a teacher and
complete with excitable shrieking and with his fingertips brushing his temple
administrator of the FT online
forum. He believes/doesn’t alleged events nearly caught on tape like a spectral Timotei advert, Deggsy
believe in a whole range of things, (it became a kind of recurring motif: took more counsel from Sam. “He wore
depending on how tired he is. loud noise; “EEK! WHAT WAS THAT?”; a coat of some kind… and sat in this
camera swings round to see vase on pub drinking beer… often… and he
f
floor, and so on) ensured that most of had legs.” Derek had a thing about legs.
or a number of years now, a the early adopters were, broadly, people Anyone who witnessed his capering,
fixture of the evening television looking for a late-night laugh, or the gleeful evocation of a little girl dancing
schedules has been the spectacle kind of channel-flicking flaneur that up a mossy tower somewhere or other
of people filmed in infrared teleshopping relies upon; but after a will never forget it. Often as not there’d
looking for oddness, either actively while, word got around and it developed be a séance with the crew, the tumbler
pursuing it or sitting passively waiting its devotees. Many were there for the on the table spelling out some portent
for it to manifest itself. Hundreds, hilarious activities of Deggsy (not for or another (and conveniently backing
probably thousands of hours of this nothing is the production company up whatever Derek was shrieking about
kind of stuff is shown on numerous responsible called Antix); what was earlier). But such activities were only
channels of varying appeal and quality perhaps more worrying was that many the appetiser – the main course was yet
– ranging from the “how are they still others with limited (or no) critical to come.
broadcasting?” likes of UKTV Pick+1+24 faculties started taking it all very They’d split up into twos and threes
(average viewership 11) to the otherwise seriously… particularly when it came to and on would come the green lighting
respectable Discovery-subsidiary Animal the subject of orbs. (or possibly blue – I’m colour blind,
Planet. Orbs, depending on your need forgive me). In this eerie atmosphere
For British viewers, the first series to believe, are either illuminated Deggsy and co would station themselves
to really popularise this kind of dust-motes and/or digital recording about the place and wait for stuff to
gonzo-paranormal investigation was artefacts, or they are spirits in the happen. And wait some more. Now, I’ve
Most Haunted, in which emeritus Blue ‘residual’. Ooh, they love some residual, been on ghost hunts. Ninety-nine per
Peter presenter Yvette Fielding, her do Most Haunted fans. As did the cent of any ghost hunt is sitting still,
(apparently) Samurai husband Karl and presenters: at the first sight of these getting chilly and wondering if there’s
the pantomime Scouse medium Derek any coffee left in your thermos, until
‘Deggsy’ Acorah, along with co-opted you emerge, stiff, grey and shivering
Many tuned in
members of their film-crew, went to into the thin morning light having heard
reputedly haunted spots around Britain an odd creak at 3.17am and absolutely
and then spent the night attempting nothing else – none of which makes
to capture evidence on camera. Next
day, the footage would be reviewed
for the hilarious for riveting telly. So, what’s a producer
to do? Leave the tapes running in the
and a parapsychologist wheeled in to
provide some semblance of balance. So activities of sincere hope that something happens
to reward the viewer’s patience, in full
far, so what? The fact that it so eerily
mirrored the BBC’s infamous 1992 hoax Derek Acorah knowledge that an hour of bugger-all
in greenish (blueish?) low-level light
isn’t very exciting, and, further, is
unlikely to provoke return visits? Or
do they, shall we say, help it all along
a bit, with or without the consent, or
indeed knowledge, of the participants?
(Bear in mind that two of the principal
participants were also producers, which
might go some way to explain the show’s
suspiciously high phenomena hit-rate).
By this time, however, like Borley
ABOVE: Derek
or Roswell, MH had a momentum all
Acorah, Most its own. No matter how damning any
Haunted’s full-on evidence against it might have been, it
vaudevillilan. had a core of true believers that would
LEFT: The greenish accept no dissent. I still shudder to
(blueish?) hues of recall the sight of parapsychologist
the show’s iconic Ciarán O’Keeffe being booed in one of
Infrared world. MH’s risible “live” episodes for daring
54 FT342
fortean tv
forum
to suggest that there might be a simple
explanation for a creaking stair – such
as someone walking on it – as opposed
to a ghost called Henry, who, according
to Acorah, had more than one eye and
a nose of some sort, and wore a hat
sometimes...
MH ran initially for 14 series before
grinding to a halt in 2011, by which time
the ratings had finally hit a decline
(it has since been re-commissioned).
Before it departed however, it had
spawned a whole mini-industry. First of
all there was TAPS, aka Ghost Hunters,
which appeared in the US in 2003
– same basic premise but much less
camp – and within a few years you
couldn’t move for mediums. Part of the
genre’s success was undoubtedly down
to timing: public interest in fortean
subjects tends to be very cyclical, and mammal in the vast and 99 per cent ABOVE: Real-life them. With evidence even shakier than
when MH premiered the 1990s UFO uninhabited Pacific Northwest, Scooby Doo: the that in Finding Bigfoot, they set about
mania had died away and ghosts were its presence in an area the size of Finding Bigfoot planning how to corner and snare the
on the ascendant. By 2012, however, the my local park seems less feasible, team. animal in question.The definite star
spooks were in decline, and the beasties somehow. I should add that they of the team is the tracker ‘Wild’ Bill
were on the up.TV cryptozoology had all agree except Renee, a sort of Neff, a clean-ish shaven Yosemite Sam
arrived. extendedVelma, who is a biologist in combat trousers and a baseball
Destination Truth, or Monster Hunter and doesn’t believe in Bigfoot and cap. When predicting the success of
(depending on which side of the pond therefore provides ‘balance’. Getting the forthcoming hunt, Bill unleashes
you were viewing), started on the SciFi back to the usual FB story, they then a torrent of Southern gibberish,
channel (now SyFy) in 2007. Initially, meet a local with evidence of some punctuated by finger-pointing and
Josh Gates and his intrepid team went kind – a blurry, distant video clip, an loud whoops.The team then set about
all over the globe looking solely for indistinct recording of a howl – and building a different type of trap every
anomalous beasts at night in bluey immediately get Bobo, the Scooby week to capture ‘it’ (which, needless to
(greeny?) light – though they have of the group, to re-enact it. As Bobo say, they always fail to do).This takes
since branched out to include other toddles along, arm raised above his an hour of oddly compulsive screen-
phenomena, doing a fairly honest head to indicate the height of the time every week.
job of it (when explanations could be reported creature (it’s always eight That the formerly po-faced Animal
found for anomalous footage the team feet, coincidentally the height of Planet sees fit to commission this
were quick to acknowledge this).Their Bobo’s extended hand), the others sort of material may seem odd – but
adventures rattled along and they did (except Renee) agree excitedly then it has of late itself produced
capture some interesting stuff, not all that the witnesses must have seen a documentaries on mermaids, the
of it instantly dismissable. Of course, Bigfoot, as nothing else is as big as aquatic ape theory, and even one
none of it was conclusive either: as that, not even Bobo with his hand about the Dyatlov Pass incident
with any programme that promises big up. Cue more meetings with locals, that implicated a Menk (the local
revelations, if they were that significant weirdly bad CGI re-enactments of name for the the Russian Yeti) as the
we’d have heard about them long before encounters, and then the obligatory perpetrator. Maybe they are playing
broadcast.The show continues to this wander about a forest in greeny-bluey with our minds. Maybe by showing this
day and remains relatively un-hysterical light, walloping trees and howling material alongside legit documentaries
and measured. and excitedly spotting things on the they are blurring the edges of our
Neither of these adjectives, however, thermoscope that turn out to be cows, world and how we perceive it… but it
can be applied to Finding Bigfoot. or indeed one another.They then still leads to a problem.
Proudly carried by Animal Planet, FB agree (except Renee) that the place What would happen if one of these
is pretty much Scooby Doo made flesh. is indeed squatchy, and that’s the end low-light, live action Hanna-Barbera
The format never varies: the team of of another episode. Oh yes, Cliff is farragoes actually found some proper
four are driving along in an SUV in Scrappy, obviously. evidence? Would we accept it as fact?
natty fleeces, and discuss where they’re Take Finding Bigfoot, add steroids Given Discovery’s recent propensity
going. Matt Moneymaker, the Bigfoot and moonshine, and you get to yank our chains while keeping a
Research Organistion’s (BFRO) leader, Mountain Monsters.The team in straight face, would we buy it when
and the Freddy of the team, will explain this case consists of hugely grizzled, they said, “Look, honest, we’ve got
he was last there a few years ago and impressively bearded men with thick some real evidence! We mean it this
thought it very “squatchy”.They then Appalachian accents and guns, who time”? Or would we acknowledge the
roll up to said area, and immediately romp about their local area looking intention and admire the artifice, but
agree that yes, it’s squatchy. Everywhere for cryptids of whom almost no one know, in the end, that it proves nothing
is squatchy, it seems. And whereas it’s has ever heard.The locals have heard more than that what we see ain’t
relatively easy to accept the possible of these critters though, so the team necessarily so… no matter what colour
existence of a large ultra-elusive pitch up in the woods to look for the light is. FT
FT342 55
forum fort sport
Power to the King!

by billionaire businessman Vichai
Srivaddhanaprabha, founder and
CEO of a duty-free retail company,
which had agreed a three-year shirt
sponsorship deal with the club. The
rob Gandy ponders the triumph of the Foxes as Leicester City celebrates a company’s name? The King Power
“football fairytale” and detects the tutelary hand of Richard III at work... Group. The Group then bought the
naming rights to club’s ground for
the 2011/12 season – so it became
ROB GANDY is a visiting professor bookies offered 5,000-1 for City to the King Power Stadium. That season,
at the Liverpool Business School, win the Premiership, and Claudio City languished in middle table in the
John Moores University. He has Ranieri, the new manager, was the second-tier Championship. But it was
written for FT on Merseyside dop- short-priced favourite to be the first at the end of 2011/12 that Richard’s
pelgängers, ghostlore, football
curses and phantom hitchhikers.
manager to be sacked. remains were found, and from that
It seems like a case of divine point the club went onwards and
L
intervention – but some have upwards. It reached the play-offs in
eicester City winning the English pondered whether Richard III, the 2012/13 before topping the table and
Premier League title in 2015/16 last Plantagenet King of England, getting promotion to the Premier
has been widely described as a who was killed at Bosworth Field in League in 2013/14, which coincided
“football fairytale”, given that Leicestershire in 1485, might have with the May 2014 judicial decision
this unfashionable provincial club had played a part. 1 This is because that Richard should be reburied in
beaten a host of mega-rich, big-city there seem to be links between the Leicester rather than York. York was
clubs with squads valued at hundreds finding of his skeleton under a Social proposed by the Plantagenet Alliance,
of millions of pounds to become Services car park in August 2012 BELOW: Buses who favoured reinterment in York
champions for the first time in its (near the parking bay marked “R”: carrying the Minster, arguing it had been the wish
132-year history. This was particularly see FT299:4-5) and City’s rise to the Leicester squad and “of the last mediæval king of England”
remarkable because the ‘Foxes’ (as top. trophy make their who was known as Richard of York. 2
they are nicknamed) narrowly avoided It should be noted that in way through the the Obviously, what the Alliance had
streets of Leicester
relegation in 2014/15, their first year August 2010, the club was bought on 16 May 2016. not taken into account was the fact
back in the Premier League for over by a Thai-led consortium, Asian Note the King Power that Richard was born in Fotheringhay,
a decade. At the start of the season Football Investments, fronted Stadium logo. Northamptonshire, just over the border
MichaeL RegaN / geTTy iMageS
56 FT342
fort sport
forum
from Leicestershire. So City was the
nearest top-tier club to his birthplace –
his local team.
Unfortunately, the 2014/15 season
started badly for the Foxes, and got
worse, seeing them anchored to the
foot of the table at Christmas. Indeed,
on 21 March 2015 they lost 4-3 to
Tottenham Hotspur and languished in
bottom place, seven points off safety,
having drawn two and lost six of their
previous eight league games. The form
record was:
Played 29 Won 4 Drawn 7 Lost 18 Points
19 (Goals For 27; Goals Against 48)
chRiSToPheR FuRLoNg / geTTy iMageS

It was the very next day, 22 March,
that Richard III was reburied in
Leicester Cathedral, just a mile from
the King Power Stadium, with great
ceremony, in something akin to a
state funeral. There was live coverage
from Channel 4 television throughout
the day, and Leicester was packed
with visitors (including me). 3 From
this date, somehow, Leicester City’s pay their respects (and a splendid
fortunes completely turned around, Visitor Centre), perhaps he is playing
with a run of seven wins in their last this role for his local city and its
nine matches, drawing one and losing football club? As football came to
one – 22 points from a possible 27. prominence in the early Middle
This was the best form of any club Ages, when the first bouncing balls
in the Premier League over the last were invented, there is a (remote)
nine games, including the champions possibility that he had an interest in
Chelsea (20 points) and big-spending the game when alive. 4 Certainly, if
Manchester City (21 points). They Richard has a spirit that has survived
finished in 14th place, six points above death and maintained an interest
the team relegated in 17th place (Hull in the sport, then it will have been
City). Their final form record for the delighted to have been reburied in
season was: Leicester rather than York – York City
Played 38 Won 11 Drawn 8 Lost 19 was relegated from the lowest tier
Points 41 (Goals For 46; Goals Against 55) of the Football League at the same
The Foxes then continued this form time as the Foxes were raising the
into 2015/16, resulting in their winning Premiership trophy!
the Premiership. Their record was: Of course, anyone can make
MaTThew LewiS / geTTy iMageS
Played 38 Won 23 Drawn 12 Lost 3 spurious links between different

Points 81 (Goals For 68; Goals Against 36) things to back up a tenuous argument.
This means that in their last 47 Perish the thought that a life-long
Premiership matches their form was: Ricardian who lived in Leicester for
Played 47 Won 30 Drawn 13 Lost 4 over three years should stoop to such
Points 103 (Goals For 87; Goals Against 43) practices in this article! Nevertheless
This is simply phenomenal for any – congratulations to Leicester City on
football club, and shows that City their great achievement. FT
deserved to be champions. But the
question remains whether Richard III
somehow had the power to influence
Football came TOP: The coffin
containing the
remains of notes
matters. It is worth noting that in
ancient Greece, a city or sanctuary to prominence King Richard
iii processes
to Leicester
1 www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/
football/6902534/King-Richard-iii-is-inspiring-
in the early
might claim to possess, without Leicester-to-Premier-League-title-glory.
cathedral on 22 html; www.leicestermercury.co.uk/Richard-
necessarily displaying, the remains March 2015. iii-responsible-Leicester-city-s-title/story-
of a venerated hero as part of a hero
cult. The bones were not regarded as
holding a particular power derived
Middle Ages ABOVE: King
Richard celebrates
the Foxes’ Premier
28654839-detail/story.html.
2 www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/
may/23/richard-iii-relatives-reburial-remains-
from the hero, with some exceptions, League victory. leicester.
and miracles and healing were not or protector of a particular place, 3 www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/
regularly attributed to them; rather, geographic feature, person, lineage, mar/26/king-richard-iii-re-interment-carries-
their presence was meant to serve a nation, culture or occupation. pomp-grandeur-state-funeral
tutelary function – to act as a deity Therefore, now that Richard has 4 http://quality.fifa.com/en/Footballs/Football-
or spirit who is a guardian, patron a proper tomb, where people can facts/Ball-evolution/The-middle-ages/
FT342 57
SEND REVIEW COPIES OF BOOKS TO: BOOK REVIEWS,
FORTEAN TIMES, PO BOX 71602, LONDON E17 0QD, UK.
This month’s books, films and games
reviews
Let’s do the time warp again
A representative selection of Sitchin’s writings exposes the flaws in his thinking and
the mistakes he (and orthodoxy) has made – and the retro tech of his alien overlords
2010, has performed a service for

his adherents and detractors both. “Sitchin is stuck with it) and had no difficulty believing
the evidence (however less than
In this book, she offers a selection
of Sitchin’s published and
ascribing everything empirical that evidence appears
to some of us). But the UFO
unpublished articles, and extracts to Sumer, despite phenomenon was actually rather
from some of his books, which lays undermining for his theories.
out his basic ideas in an easily evidence stacking After all, if the Annunaki could
The Annunaki digestible form.
The reader gets a clear picture
up all around him” visit us at any time using their
spacecraft – and the evidence he
Chronicles of how he came to believe that an endorsed clearly suggested that
A Zechariah Sitchin Reader alien race had engineered human they were doing just that – then
Ed: Janet Sitchin
history and culture, and the production: there is evidence why would the ponderous orbital
progression to his grand narrative for woven textiles going back approach of Nibiru be of any
Bear and Company 2015
about the Annunaki, Nibiru, and several thousand years before importance?
Hb, 375pp, ind, £18.99, ISBN 9781591432296
FORTEAN TIMES BOOKSHOP PRICE £16.99
the pivotal position of Sumerian Sumer. Or the beginnings of Sitchin’s nexus of pivotal
culture in the story of humanity. metal-working: evidence from the moments in history founders on
Zechariah Sitchin’s obdurate And there’s the rub. Russian Caucasus puts this back this point. The periodic incursions
legacy is difficult to avoid. A When it’s all laid out like to 12,000–13,000 years ago. (every 3,600 years, to match the
steady proportion of the books this, clearly and unambiguously, The list could go on, but the supposed orbit of the 12th planet)
and articles published under one can see at once the flaws in point is hopefully clear. Having of the Annunaki don’t make a
the ægis of ancient mysteries Sitchin’s thinking, and recognise decided that Sumer is the origin whole lot of sense in the light of a
is laced with, and based on, a the time warp he inhabited. In of everything, Sitchin is stuck with supposed facility for space travel.
platform of his theories, which many respects, this time warp ascribing everything to Sumer, One might also wonder why his
have become, for some at least, is – or rather, was – shared with despite evidence to the contrary identification of the Giza plateau,
the axioms of the alternative orthodox history and archæology: stacking up all around him. and the immense megaliths at
history of humanity. Online, the fixation on Sumer as The second, and perhaps more Baalbek, as parts of a space port
his work underpins not just the beginning of everything amusing, aspect of this time warp for the Annunaki was of any
ancient mysteries, but also a civilised; the crabbed timescale (amusing, at least, if you are significance if these beings could,
whole sub-sect of the conspiracy of human development in this sceptical of Sitchin’s theories) and apparently did, land wherever
theory community, and more respect; the relative ignorance, relates to the technology owned they fancied, whenever the
extravagantly, an apocalyptic or downplaying, of older and and used by his alien overlords. interplanetary whim took them.
tranche dedicated to gleefully wider discoveries of human Along with von Däniken, Sitchin The questions could go on.
prophesying our imminent demise achievement. sees evidence of spacecraft in the Who, for instance, witnessed the
with the approach (it’s always Take his listing of Sumer’s texts and iconography of ancient cosmogonic events that fashioned
approaching) of the ominous firsts. He credits them with the peoples. But the technology, the Solar System as Sitchin
planet Nibiru. first boats; but the people who particularly in the imagery they saw it, all those thousands, or
You can believe Sitchin’s settled Australia over 20,000 years both select, is the clunky, nuts perhaps millions, of years ago?
theories and see him as the before the foundation of Sumer and bolts stuff of Seventies Clearly not the inhabitants of any
quintessential prophet of the age, didn’t swim there. And the ancient human space exploration. Our of the planets concerned; they
or you can deride him as a nutcase people of the Americas, and those alien betters, with hundreds of would presumably have fried
fantasist of the palpably absurd who peopled the scattered islands thousands of years’ head start in the massive conflagrations
ancient alien cult, but you can’t of the Pacific in ancient times, on us, can only come up with the he envisages. Never mind the
deny his enormous influence on were clearly competent sailors same crude rocket technology as Sumerians, how did the Annunaki
the ideas and beliefs of a growing long before the riverine culture of the inferior humans they have know about it?
number of people, and a growing Sumer dared to get its feet wet. colonised. Ultimately, one can see Sitchin
number of new theories and Then there’s the origin of When it comes to ray guns and as simply one of the legion of
speculations about both our past agriculture. This has been pushed rockets, there’s a peculiar irony addled amateur maverick scholars
and our future. back beyond Sumer by a series of in Sitchin’s treatment of the UFO who teem on the margins of an
Janet Sitchin, Zechariah’s niece, discoveries in Turkey and further phenomenon. He was clearly overly orthodox and inflexible
who worked with her uncle for afield (think Göbekli Tepe for interested in this subject (a whole
some years before his death in instance). Or the origin of textile chapter of this book is devoted to Continued on page 60
FT342 59
reviews BOOKS
The inconvenient Mary

Continued from previous page
academic world; but one who

got lucky in the lottery of fame
Mary was airbrushed out of Early Church history, traduced as a and rose to prominence, the
first among a curious coterie of
prostitute and finally given the Dan Brown treatment autodidacts, malcontents and
dreamers. If he continues to be a
guru for the gullible, more power
been right at the very heart of alone. Only about half of the one to his ascended elbow, and more
the story, she’s never mentioned million population of Palestine fool them.
again. were Jewish; the rest were Noel Rooney
Paul says nothing about her in Greeks, Canaanites and others.
any of his letters; the first person And far from being uneducated Fortean Times Verdict
to discover the empty tomb is
not even mentioned in his list
farmers and fishermen, like the
rest of the population of the
ONE FOR THE ANCIENT ALIEN
BELIEvERS ANd SCOFFERS ALIKE 6
of resurrection appearances in I
Corinthians 15. It’s as if she were
Middle East, many of them were
Hellenised, speaking and reading
The Murder of
The Quest for Mary airbrushed out of the official Greek rather than Hebrew. Mary William of Norwich
account of the Early Church, says Magdalene was more likely than The Origins of the Blood Libel in
Magdalene Haag. She’s not mentioned even not to be a Hellenised Jew, Haag Medieval Europe
History and Legend once in Acts, despite the Early argues: middle-class, cultured E M Rose
Michael Haag Church seeing her as “the apostle and a woman of means. She was Oxford University Press 2015
Profile Books 2016
to the apostles”. After the first usually the first-named of the Hb, 394pp, illus, maps, bib, ind, £16.99 ISBN 9780190219628
Hb, 323pp, illus, further reading, ind, £15.99, few chapters the focus is entirely group of women who travelled FORTEAN TIMES BOOKSHOP PRICE £14.99
ISBN 9781846684524 on Paul; as someone close to the around with Jesus and the
FORTEAN TIMES BOOKSHOP PRICE £13.99 living Jesus (whom Paul never disciples, providing for them Allegations that Jewish
In the immediate wake of Dan knew), Mary Magdalene was financially. communities engaged
Brown’s publisher-created perhaps an inconvenience to the Mary Magdalene’s supposed in ritual murder of
sensation a decade ago, a lot of newly developing religion. relics (like those of many others) Christian children were
books appeared pointing out the What about her unusual name? have a tangled history. The Golden common, or at least
many, many problems with it. Haag disposes of the idea that Legend says she was put in a not rare, in the Middle Ages. The
One of the better ones, packed she was from Magdala; no such boat without rudder or sail, and victims of these supposed crimes
full of detail and without any place existed in either Old or New ended up on the south coast of were regarded as martyrs of the
Evangelical agenda, was The Testament times. A fifth-century France, at Marseille – or was it Christian faith, and the killings
Rough Guide to the Da Vinci Code Byzantine copyist altered “the Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer? After were seen as indictments not of
by Michael and Veronica Haag. coasts of Magadan” to “the coasts converting the governor of the individual criminals but of Jews
Now Michael Haag has returned of Magdala” in Matthew 15, province and building some as a people. The image appears
to one of the central features of and we’ve been stuck with the churches, she retired to her cave in The Canterbury Tales and other
DVC, Jesus’s supposed wife, Mary misidentification ever since. In in the wilderness for the next mediæval sources – but where
Magdalene. any case she’s not called “Mary 30-odd years. She was buried by did it come from? In The Murder
He’s pretty scathing about of Magadan”, let alone “Mary St Maximin at Aix-en-Provence of William of Norwich, E M Rose
Brown’s potboiler, and the of Magdala” in the Gospels, but – only to be dug up and taken investigates the earliest known
pseudo-histories from which it “Mary the Magdalene” as if off to grace the abbey at Vezelay example of this story, the reported
appropriated its so-called facts. it’s a title – or, Haag suggests, a in Burgundy in AD 769 – or was killing of a young apprentice in
He finds no evidence for the nickname given by Jesus, in the she? Because by 1279 she’d the 1140s. The story of William of
Magdalene being Jesus’s wife, same way as Simon being called reappeared in the church at St Norwich is fascinatingly different
seeing her more as his spiritual Peter, the rock, and James and Maximin-la-Ste-Baume, some 25 from what one might expect:
rather than physical helpmeet. John called Boanerges, suns of miles from Aix – albeit a different rather than an expression of
Mary Magdalene has for thunder. “Magdal” (Aramaic) St Maximin... popular anti-Semitism, the story
centuries been portrayed as the and “migdal” (Hebrew) mean The Quest for Mary Magdalene seems to arise in connection
repentant prostitute, reclining in “tower”. Jewish shepherds built wanders off into speculation in with a homicide case in which a
her cave with a skull to remind us towers to oversee their flocks, places, but on the whole it’s a Norwich knight was accused of
of mortality, and with her long red and fishermen on Galilee had a well-researched and well-argued the murder of a Jewish banker.
hair barely covering her charms. tower as a lighthouse or beacon exploration of the myth of the Bishop William Turbe appears
Blame Pope Gregory the Great for – so “Mary the magdal” had “a Magdalene. As a bonus, the to have deployed the accusation
this; in AD 591 he conflated Mary powerful name” which reflected book is beautifully illustrated that the Jewish community was
Magdalene, Mary of Bethany and her helping to protect Jesus’s throughout with artwork from collectively responsible for young
the sinful woman of Luke 7, and flock and being a beacon, an ancient to modern, though William’s murder to muddy the
made her sin sexual – an error illuminator. It’s speculation, but unfortunately only the Kindle issue and prevent the crown
not overturned by the Catholic as likely as any other explanation. edition has colour. from prosecuting. His ploy was
Church until the 1960s (though no Haag is good on historical David V Barrett successful, but the young saint’s
one noticed). background. There were far more cult attracted few notable patrons
She features mainly in the Jews outside Palestine than in Fortean Times Verdict and does not appear to have
accounts of the crucifixion and
resurrection – and then, having
it, maybe as many as a million in
Egypt, with 200,000 in Alexandria
MARy MAgdALENE: A PROSTITuTE,
OR A TOWER OF STRENgTH? 8 received much devotion outside
Norwich. But the ritual sacrifice
60 FT342
BOOKS
reviews
Secret Tunnels of
Old seafarers
motif reappeared both elsewhere
in England and on the Continent
within a few decades. About England
half the book is devoted to the Folklore and Fact
Norwich case, including the
creation of The Life and Passion
Antony Clayton Prehistoric water travel is re-evaluated in
of William of Norwich and the
Accumulator Press 2016
Hb, 296pp, illus, notes, ind, bib, £22.00, ISBN 0957233418
this interesting, if flawed, study
(largely unsuccessful) attempt by FORTEAN TIMES BOOKSHOP PRICE £19.50
the monks of the cathedral priory
to gain support for their cult. The So many old pubs and of the perception of the world and
second half focuses on examples religious buildings are a need for self-identification in
of the blood libel elsewhere in ‘said to be’ connected that world”. There was commerce
England and Europe. by secret underground in precious obsidian, flint,
Rose examines these incidents tunnels that, if all the animals and – eventually – metals.
to discover the social and political claims were true, our sceptred isle Western European evidence
role the story played, concluding would resemble a Swiss cheese. fronts the discussion era-by-era.
that, far from being outbreaks of Despite their alleged use by Pydyn analyses all sides of the
violence by prejudiced mediæval smugglers, and by randy monks question of the first migrations
people (although anti-Semitism in search of nuns, it seems that Argonauts of the to North America, even the most
was widespread), allegations most ‘tunnels’ had a more prosaic controversial (the Solutreans got
of ritual murder were political purpose and more often than Stone Age there first). He is weaker when
acts connected to religious and not, they were actually drains or Early Maritime Activity from the examining the supplementary
secular elites. Abbots, counts and sewers. First Migrations From Africa to evidence from southeast Asia and
even the king of France all used Still, the English are never wont the End of the Neolithic drawing intercultural inferences
the ritual murder story and its to let the truth get in the way of a Andrezej Pydyn from it. He does not mention
attendant saintly cults to achieve good story. Archeopress Publishing 2016 Stephen Oppenheimer’s research
political objectives including Antony Clayton’s latest book Pb, 253pp. illus. £36.00 ISBN 978178491143 0 in Eden in the East, nor recent
enhancing their status, defending does feature some actual tunnels, FORTEAN TIMES BOOKSHOP PRICE £31.00 anthropological discoveries about
legal privileges and even funding but that’s not the point – in Until recently, the seafaring Australian aboriginal memory.
public works programmes. England they are far outnumbered abilities of Stone Age people The biggest omission, though, may
The gaps in the evidence by imaginary ones that are often were considered almost non- be in North Africa.The painted
mean that Rose’s interpretation more interesting. ‘Lost’ secret existent, despite evidence of early image of a ship with a rudder, oar,
is always based on fragments; tunnels abound in English folklore humans in places reachable only and cabin from 9,000 years ago
even the name used for the but being lost (and secret) their by water. Archæologists have is not examined in terms of the
victim in the 1140s murder case exact locations are rather vague. largely overlooked prehistoric Green Sahara Era, a period when
is speculative, though based on On investigation, accounts tend to water travel, which begins one inland navigators may have used
reconstruction from the textual originate from an unknown source to two million years ago with similar vessels on colossal waters
evidence. However, even if a few – someone who happened to Homo ergaster and Homo erectus. such as Lake Megachad, which at
details are uncertain, the overall glimpse the secret tunnel ‘during Andrezej Pydyn wrings the that time was comparable in area
picture that emerges is clear. building work, many years ago’. evidence for their stupendous to the Caspian Sea.
Rose provides extensive Such tales may be authenticated accomplishments from published The dawn of longships is
information on the historical by a connection to some well- research on the material remains illustrated with colour images of
setting of the cult of William of known historical figure, who, like of water craft and equipment, petroglyphs from Fennoscandia,
Norwich, including the politics Dick Turpin or Robin Hood, may rock art, genetics, ceramic art, and ceramics from Africa and
of England in the 12th century themselves turn out to be semi- trade networks and climatic the Cycladic Mediterranean.
and the disastrous financial and mythical. data to chart the methods – if Pydyn discusses voyages and
political effects of the failed Illustrated and highly readable, not always the motivations – of intercultural contacts during the
Second Crusade. This makes The Secret Tunnels of England ends intrepid ancient nomads. megalithic era. A cogent view of
Murder of William of Norwich with an afterword by Fortean With the first significant the race to roam the coastlines.
accessible to readers without Times’s Gary Lachman on why we sea-voyages across the Straits Jerry Glover
much background in mediæval are so fascinated by secret tunnels of Gibraltar and the Strait
history, though some knowledge and other subterranean spaces. of Bab-el-Mandad, and the Fortean Times Verdict
of the medieval church will
be useful. It is an engrossing
Citing Plato, Jung and David
Lewis-Williams, he considers
island colonisations in the
Mediterranean, came the “issue
SET COuRSE FOR uNCHARTEd
WATERS IN MARINE HISTORy 9
look not only at the mediæval the psychological and religious
origin of one of Europe’s oldest aspects of tunnels, bringing the
To order any of these titles – or any other book in print – contact the
and most notorious conspiracy book to a satisfying conclusion.
theories but also at the ways in
which that story has been reused
and repurposed in different
Tunnels undoubtedly do exist
but digging them, especially
through rock, is difficult, time-
FORTEAN TIMES BOOKSHOP
contexts. consuming and expensive. Telephone: 08430600031 Fax: 01326 569555 Email: FT@sparkledirect.co.uk
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We accept all major credit and debit cards including Switch & Amex. Cheques or postal
Fortean Times Verdict Fortean Times Verdict orders should be made payable to the FT Bookshop. delivery is 7–10 days, subject to
THE ORIgINS OF A CONSPIRACy
THEORy IN ITS MEdIævAL CONTExT 9 THE APPEAL OF THE MySTERIOuS
SuBTERRANEAN ExPOREd 8 availability. Postage & packing is free within the uK.
FT342 61
reviews BOOKS
BOOKS
A dark capital The Creeping

garden
Irrational Encounters with
bag of cytoplasm with several
thousand nuclei. So, slime moulds
are attracting considerable
interest from researchers eager
The Devil – the first flâneur, for some Plasmodial Slime Moulds
Jasper Sharp & Tim Grabham
to understand intracellular
processes and develop biological
writers – inhabits night-time London Alchimia Books 2015 computers.
Hb,192pp, illus, ind, £16.99, ISBN 9781903254783 Slime moulds can solve the
FORTEAN TIMES BOOKSHOP PRICE £14.99 shortest path problem, for
within the book. The Devil example, connecting a number of
appears when Beaumont explores In May 1973, a “white points with a minimal tree – such
William Sharpe’s idea that Satan and foamy looking” as linking cities by roads or a
was the first flâneur. This concept blob “about the railway system. You can model
is taken up by writers such as size of an oatmeal the points with flakes of oat on
Thomas Dekker, and Beaumont cookie” appeared agar. Researchers also developed
goes into great detail in writing in Marie Harris’s backyard in the Phi-bot, a six-legged
about night-walking about how Garland, Dallas. Over the next platform controlled by Physarum
the Devil is perceived. This may fortnight, the blob grew “to the polycephalum. Again, there’s
be of particular interest to those size of 16 oatmeal cookies” and examples on YouTube.
wanting to put Spring-heeled Jack resisted attempts at destruction. The Creeping Garden is the
Nightwalking and other such legends in a wider Puncturing the blob, for instance, book of a documentary (www.
A Nocturnal History of London context. just released a red, purplish goo. creepinggarden.com/), which,
Matthew Beaumont Beaumont also talks in depth Locals linked the blob to the based on the trailer, I’m now
Verso 2015 about the link between night- famous, at least among ufologists, desperate to see. As you might
HB, 496pp, illus, notes, ind, £9.99, ISBN978178483785 walking and conspiracies, looking Aurora incident. In April 1897, expect from film-makers, The
FORTEAN TIMES BOOKSHOP PRICE £9.49 at the work of both Shakespeare apparently, a spaceship exploded Creeping Garden is beautifully
PRICE £ and Ben Jonson, which again leaving a body. Although “badly illustrated: the photographs of
Certain categories seem so stable provides a well-researched disfigured”, the corpse was fungi and moulds are stunning
that it takes in-depth study to historical context for those who considered “not an inhabitant of (although I would have found
understand them. The Sun rises want to better understand the this world” and was supposedly a scale useful on many of the
and it’s daytime; it sets, and link between walking at night and buried in a graveyard some 75 close-ups). But the book works
it is night. In Night-walking: A conspiratorial behaviour. miles northwest from Garland. well on its own. There’s a
Nocturnal History of London, Where Beaumont really comes Sadly, for ufology, the Garland wealth of background material,
Mathew Beaumont shows that into his own is in discussing blob turned out to be a slime including a neat summary of
these categories are far from the way writers and artists mould called Fuligo septica. films starring slime moulds,
straightforward. such as Blake, De Quincey Slime moulds are not the most such as Magic Myxies, made by
What becomes clear and Dickens had such a close appealing organisms: you can’t British Instructional Films in
throughout the whole of relationship with night-walking. imagine posts of slime moulds 1931 (on YouTube), and Genichiro
Beaumont’s excellent book is how As an aside Beaumont also replacing cute cats on social Higuchi’s The Life History of True
night, often perceived as lawless, shows that throughout the media. Slime Molds (1997).
is wrapped in a legal framework centuries there has also been a Two common names for Indeed, the Japanese embraced
that made it far more legislated close link between writing and F. septica – the Dog Vomit or slime moulds. Emperor Hirohito
and restricted than any other homelessness, whether temporary Scrambled Egg slime mould – was the uncredited author of
time of day for most of the late- or as a more permanent state. give a fairly accurate impression Myxomycetes of the Nasu District
and post-mediæval periods. The book has a focus on of its appearance. Yet as The (1935), Japan’s first book on
He discusses how night- London, as the title makes clear, Creeping Garden demonstrates, slime moulds. Initially, Hirotaro
walking and walking at night though it does venture out of slime moulds are fascinating. Hattori (of the National Biological
are perceived as distinct from the city on occasion, whether to They’re not plants, fungi or beast Research Institute) was credited
street-walking, and traces how look at how Wordsworth used – although for decades, biologists as author. But the Emperor
these terms manifest in law and night-walking in Cumbria, or John misclassified the 1,000 or so collected species around his
literature. There are themes Clare’s heart-breaking 100-mile species of slime moulds as fungi. summer palace and “in 1964 it
which still echo now, such as the journey from the Matthew Allen’s They move in search of food, their came to light that the real author
‘othering’ of homeless people and asylum for the insane to his home slime trails acting as a form of was Hirohito”. Indeed, as Sharp
the suspicion that anyone out at in Northborough. memory. and Grabham note, Japan has
night is up to no good. (Unless For those interested in They may even show ‘goal- “provided a wellspring of slime
they were wealthy; members perceptions of the city night, directed behaviour’ that some mould-related research”. And The
of aristocracy such as Henry psychogeography, or the way we researchers regard as akin to Creeping Garden does a brilliant
Howard, Earl of Surrey, felt the tell stories about what happens intelligence. job of accessibly summarising
night allowed them to commit in the darkness, and how those Normally, the cells that make the wealth of research and offers
acts of vandalism.) change over time, this is an up a slime mould are separate fascinating insights into this
In studying walking at night excellent book. and invisible, foraging on plant neglected group of organisms.
Beaumont looks at the changing Steve Toase material. (There’s stunning Mark Greener
perception of light as bringing time-lapse film showing the
the civil to the nighttime streets, Fortean Times Verdict mould’s movement hunting for Fortean Times Verdict
or enabling acts of darkness.
There are some fortean themes
THE PSyCHOgEOgRAPHy OF THE
CAPITAL uNdER TORCHLIgHT 8 food on YouTube.) But they can
coalesce forming a single large
HIgHLy RECOMMENdEd,
ESPECIALLy FOR SLIME FANS 9
62 FT342
BOOKS
reviews
Reimagining the papacy

Extraterrestrials as improved messiahs, ghostly castrati, the island of lost priests
and a door to other universes – it’s Catholicism, but not as we generally know it
hallucinating or visited by aliens, might say? And why, wondered portal, through which beings
concludes that his experiences Constantine 1, were shepherds of light enter the world, and
are demonic, notes their so central to the new religion of depicts it in his painting of
similarity to those of Hildegard Christianity? Perpignan station, and the
of Bingen, and seeks to warn the Pope Pius IX changes his mind ghost of a mysterious castrato
Church against being taken in about revolution, after angels haunts every performance of the
by her. give him a glimpse of Marxist original Allegri Miserere, secretly
Eleanor of Aquitaine’s Court dystopia, Jack the Ripper turns transcribed by Mozart.
of Love in Poitiers was not, we out to be a young Catholic priest, There’s an Island of Lost
learn, just a school for the poetry and Templars, fleeing Cathar Priests, somewhere in the
of courtly love, but an academy Languedoc with the ancient Mediterranean, to which child-
for sex-magic, with its orgasmic treasures of power, sail along abusing priests are exiled, and
Tales from the energy used to power Eleanor’s Viking sea roads to an island off a manuscript, written by Simon
vatican vaults own political machine. For a Nova Scotia, where they build a Magus, outlines the multiverse
28 extraordinary stories by group of gnostics, hunted by booby-trapped shaft to hid the theory. Deep inside the Vatican
Kristine Kathryn Rusch, garry the Inquisition, and celebrating artefacts. But not just artefacts. Vaults is a door to other
Kilworth, Mary gentle, KJ Parker, their embodiment in sexual There’s a being down there. And Universes.
Storm Constantine and many acts proscribed by the Church, you can stop speculating about It’s all great fun – of the sort
more entwined bodies lead to quantum the wealth of Rennes-le-Chateau: that rightly sells the Fortean
Ed. David V Barrett entanglement. it came from the true Grail – the Times. But it’s worth asking why
Robinson 2015 In the Doge’s Palace in Venice Cornucopia of the ancients – it’s fun.
Pb, 561pp, £9.99, ISBN 9781472111654 there are portraits of all the which multiplied whatever was We assume that big Christian
FORTEAN TIMES BOOKSHOP PRICE £9.49 Doges – bar one, Marino Faliero. put into it. institutions are far more
He’s represented by a black In the First World War, with concerned about their own power
Pope John Paul, instead of dying shroud. We’ve all assumed that shells bursting all around a and the preservation of their own
33 days into his papacy, lived on this is because he attempted a Belgian village, a soldier hands precious doctrines than about the
to past 98, becoming the longest coup d’état. But no: it’s because a mysterious book to a child. truth (which certainly seems to
reigning Pope. He was also the he meddled in Chinese sorcery, Its title: De Wil (The Will). The be the case with US Conservative
most liberal. He threw open the becoming possessed by the spirit contents of the book change Evangelicalism), and we’re gleeful
secret archives of the Vatican of the Dragon King. every day. It is God’s plan for the when truth trumps power.
Library. There were some strange A young Spanish priest world – blank when viewed by the That’s ethically heartening.
and terrible things there. almost learns the skill of perfect un-called. But, more interestingly, we have
That’s the alluring premise of foresight from a tortured Inca A nun in a North Yorkshire an immense and curious appetite
this collection of 28 short stories holy man, and the English convent learns that the snake of for counterfactuals, and we think
– each purporting to be based on occultist John Dee discovers the Eden is essential for the health that nothing is quite as it seems.
documents from the vaults. secrets of the gifts brought by of the garden, and an ancient We’re never quite at home in the
The stories are of very variable the Magi. The myrrh had a use hermetic order of women, based world. Reality lies
length and quality, but together that called into question the on an unorthodox reading of the beyond it. ‘It’s
make a happily intoxicating read. resurrection of Jesus. Eden story, works in occupied all in Plato’,
The book’s a merry ragbag of If you received consecrated Europe to assassinate high- as C S Lewis
weirdnesses. A nun, disguised bread from a particular Catholic ranking Nazis. would have
as a monk, is elected Pope, and priest, you couldn’t tell a lie. That Pope Pius XII learns of extra- said.
gives birth to a child on the was dangerous in the paranoid terrestrial beings who would, Charles
Papal litter. Pope Benedict IX’s England of Elizabeth I. their envoy asserts, make better Foster
legendary depravity is explained: An astronomer is rescued from messiahs than Jesus, and in a
the electing cardinals were won the auto da fé by aliens, and ships small Welsh village a girl has
round by the eloquence of a devil. full of witches and wizards head visitations from a saint
Since martyrdom is the highest across the Atlantic from England, unknown to the Christian
Christian calling, you have to seeding a magical dynasty calendar. The girl is
have killers, he said: both martyrs amongst the Puritan colonists. responsible for many
and their murderers are doing Captain Cook is initiated into healings, but causes a
God’s work. God’s Kingdom is the cult of a Hawaiian god, and a Vatican investigator
best served by a weak, vicious, voodoo ritual summons a storm, to question the
schismatic Church. turning the tide of US and British boundary between
A time-travelling historian history. miracle and magic. Fortean Times Verdict
9
is responsible for writing La What was the Church worried Salvador Dali THE LATE POPE gETS THE FuLL
Chanson de Roland, and a monk, that a prophetic metal monkey comes across a COuNTERFACTuAL TREATMENT
FT342 63
reviews FILM & DVD
SEND REVIEW COPIES OF DVDS, BLU-RAYS AND GAMES TO:
FORTEAN TIMES, PO BOX 71602, LONDON E17 0QD.
Yet amid all the familiar tropes (a strong, well-measured perfor-

there are flashes of imagination mance from Ziad Abaza) returns
and skill. Evrenol’s use of colour to his family’s kebab shop in an
is superb, with stabs of bright red unnamed seaside town, the place
or yellow illuminating a scene in is in bad shape. Spurred on by a
much the same way as the great desire to avenge his father, who was
Mario Bava used to do. Great care mugged and left for dead, Salah
has clearly been taken with the reopens the takeaway and sets out
production design, so that although to clear its debts.This decision
the action and locations may be exposes the mild-mannered stu-
routine, the details within the dent to the worst of British culture:
frame are always interesting. a steady stream of binge-drinking
I don’t think it’s revealing too youths and foul-mouthed, drunken
much to say that we eventually clubbers pours through the shop
learn the coppers are up against every night at closing time. Finally,
Devil worshippers – and a particu- the onslaught leads to disaster
larly revolting bunch they are too, when a patron accidentally stum-
a world away from the relatively bles into the deep fat fryer, leaving
normal types found in US fare Salah with a corpse to dispose off.
like Rosemary’s Baby or Ride with Well… this is a kebab shop.
the Devil. In fact, they seem to be Soon, the minced remains of
barely human at all – which goes drunken revellers are mixed with
Baskin Baskin is familiar that you can’t
help but wonder whether director
double for the leader of their weird
sect.This character, the Father (the
meat and devoured with relish by
the intoxicated public in search
Dir Can Evrenol, Turkey 2015
On UK release and View on Demand from 15 July
Cal Evrenol is making a deliberate remarkable Mehmet Cerrahoglu), of a drink, a dance and a late-
play to show the English-speaking is the film’s trump card. A genu- night kebab. Salah’s Sweeny Todd
My knowledge of Turkish cinema film industry what he can do.The inely original creation, he is at once inspired vengeance soon attracts
is pitifully limited, encompassing opening sequence in the diner repulsive and compelling, dispens- the attention of a former Big
little more than some hokey Star has got Tarantino written all over ing his horrific violence with soft, Brother celebrity turned nightclub
Wars and Superman rip-offs (the it and the imagery too is familiar kind words – almost tenderly. entrepreneur and the story works it
latter of which is particularly mem- from umpteen other films you will It’s a shame, then, that despite way towards a conclusion that if not
orable for having been directed no doubt have seen before; some, these intriguing new elements the surprising is undeniably satisfying.
by the fantastically named Kunt it has to be said, from quite some second half of the film doesn’t rise The film mines both revulsion
Tulgar), so the prospect of an intro- time ago.You know the kind of much above stylish torture porn – there’s accomplished effects work
duction to contemporary Turkish thing I mean: an abandoned old with a diabolic twist. In most run- as human limbs are butchered –
horror was an enticing one. building inexplicably overflowing of-the-mill horror films the charac- and laughter, as when two drunks
Five boorish coppers (Arda, with clanking chains, plastic sheet- ters are one-dimensional because agree that this is the best kebab
Remzi,Yavuz, Apo and Seyfi) have ing, disgusting toilets, and so on. their sole purpose is to be bumped they’ve ever tasted. It’s a horror
knocked off for the night and are Even the plot devices – the van hits off by The Baddie; that’s just what’s film, but mixes serial killing, social
having a late snack at a grubby something on the road, causing a going on here, and no amount of commentary, black comedy and
diner, seemingly in the middle of crash, but there’s no trace of a body technical ingenuity, or occasional vigilante thriller elements to good
nowhere.They swap ribald tales, and our heroes are now stranded moments of sheer bad taste, can effect. Perhaps none of the targets
work out their football betting – are as old as the hills.The nadir/ disguise it. However, while you’ll are new – celebrity and substance
coupon, and argue amongst them- zenith of this, depending on how have seen guys and gals stumbling abuse have been explored many
selves. Out back, unseen by the you look at it, is the final sequence, on to, and being diced by, vicious times before – but director Dan
cops, a mysterious hooded figure which is not so much old hat as a cultists a billion times over, you’ll Pringle gives them his own spin,
hands a bag of raw meat to the primitive cap made of woolly mam- almost certainly never have seen as well as clever stylistic support
cook. moth fur.There’s even the obliga- it happen to Turkish coppers; so, if through documentary style-footage
Back in the diner,Yavuz (Muhar- tory industrial heavy metal over for no other reason, you should find and Chris Ferguson’s camerawork
rem Bayrak), the aggressive one the end credits. the time to give this a go. and lighting.
with the hair-trigger temper, pro- The characters are not fleshed Daniel King K-Shop is not without faults
vokes a fight with the waiter and out beyond their sole defining – the female lead’s story fails to
despite the intervention of the traits: so, aside from the afore- Fortean Times Verdict engage and budget limitations are
lad’s father – the proprietor – beats
him up. Remzi (Ergun Kuyuc), the
mentioned Remzi and Yuvan,
we have the rookie Arda and the
turkIsh horror Is
DerIVatIVe but InterestIng 7 evident throughout – but these are
easily forgiven when the result is
chief, ushers his men outside and nervy Seyfi.The fifth copper, Apo, a modest, well-crafted first movie
into the police van to take every-
one home. En route, they receive a
doesn’t even get that much devel-
opment – I didn’t even catch what
K-Shop from White Lantern Films. In an
age of soaring cinema ticket prices
Dir Dan Pringle, UK 2016
call requesting urgent back-up at his name is until he was having On UK release from 22 June
and expensive blockbusters that
an incident nearby. From this point his lower intestine pulled out leave you feeling robbed of the
on, events take a bizarre, not to say through his stomach. Perhaps to K-Shop comes across initially as a admission price, that’s no mean
terrifying, turn. compensate for this, the narrative tale about the values of a minority feat.
As it turns out,Turkish horror jumps backwards and forwards in ethnic culture’s colliding with the Mark McConnell
cinema is much the same as horror time like nobody’s business, which drunken, right-wing belligerence of
cinema in the rest of the world. ingeniously makes everything little Englanders, but it turns out to Fortean Times Verdict
Admittedly, subtleties may be
lost in translation but so much of
much more head-scratching than it
really is.
be more – and more fun – than that.
When university student Salah
surprIsIngLy gooD taLe oF
a MoDern-Day sweeny toDD 7
64 FT342
FILM & DVD
reviews
Pride & Prejudice &
Zombies
Dir Burr Steer, UK 2015
Lionsgate Home Entertainment, £14.99 (Blu-ray) £12.99 (DVD)
The Reverend’s Review
This month, FT’s resident man of the cloth reVerenD
One thing you can say about Pride peter Laws dons his dog collar and rounds up a slew of
& Prejudice & Zombies: it does
recommended books on horror cinema.
exactly what it says on the tin.This
mash-up of two perennial favour-
ites – Jane Austen and the walking BLooD BATh plot for good measure. And what
dead – is the brainchild of Quirk Prod Roger Corman, US 1963-1966 do you know? This one actually
Books editor Jason Rekulak, based Arrow Video, £19.99 (Blu-ray) got released in 1966. That’s
on Seth Grahame-Smith’s novel of four versions so far... But wait –
the same name, and is brought to I reckon the people who make there’s more. A heftily-padded TV
the screen by writer and director dictionaries should replace the edit came out later called Track
Burr Steer. entry for ‘convoluted’ with a of the Vampire and rounded off
A strange plague has befallen poster of Blood Bath instead, one of the most tortured and
19th century England: while feisty because the production history tortuous stop-start productions
young ladies trail muddy petti- of this Roger Corman movie is in horror movie history.
coats everywhere, the land is over- as twisty and tangled as a set of Now, the wonderfully
run by the undead. Elizabeth Ben- Wilko Christmas lights. Ready for OCD folks at Arrow Video
nett (Lily James) and her sisters it? Good… now pay attention… have released four of the five
are no ordinary girls, though – for In 1963, Corman helped versions on Blu-ray; which
them, finishing school was a trip finance an as-yet unproduced means you can watch a patchy
to China to learn martial arts and Yugoslavian film called Operation art thriller gradually evolve into
weaponry – and Darcy is a dashing Titian. He even got young a movie about a jittery vampire of the TV version, which is what
zombie slayer roving around any upstart Francis Ford Coppola artist killing women and turning really tickled me. Seriously,
country home that reports even a to oversee production. When them into wax dummies. Plus, Track of the Vampire has a
sniff of infection. Despite decorous Corman saw it, however, he it’ll only take you about five mortally tedious scene of a
and stiff-upper-lip appearances, baulked. The plodding black hours to complete the journey! woman being chased on the
England is on the brink of oblivion and white crime thriller-cum- Frankly, what went beach. It lasts for… take this
and the walled city of London travel documentary was basically on behind the camera is a lot in… eight whole minutes! Which
is the last refuge of un-suitored unreleasable. Corman recut and more fascinating that what hap- is just about long enough to
young ladies everywhere. Will re-scored the film and called pens in front of it. So a real break on through to the other
Elizabeth and Darcy manage to it Portrait in Terror. Yet it still gem in this set is the feature- side of boredom and enter the
escape the flesh-eating monsters lacked that lucrative drive-in length video essay by Tim Lucas realm of general hilarity. Oh, and
and a dastardly Wickham and find vibe he was looking for. So in in which he unpacks the wild kudos to Stephanie Rothman.
true love? 1964 he had a third shot, ask- history of the film. That said, She decided the artist character
There’s an impressive cast that ing Spider Baby director Jack the movies do have their own should morph into a completely
includes Charles Dance, Matt Hill to beef up the horror. Blood charm. Trek through each planet different guy whenever he turned
Smith and Game of Thrones’s Cersei Bath was born… yet Corman still in the Blood Bath universe and vampiric, meaning the previous
herself, Lena Headey, as England’s wasn’t convinced. He called in you’ll find the vivid, Orson (more expensive) actor didn’t
one-eyed premier zombie killer; Stephanie Rothman to make a Welles-style cinematography of have to be re-hired. Genius!
she’s more Wicked Lady than Lady fourth version. This one retained Titian, the straight-up Sixties
Catherine de Bourgh and wasted, the title Blood Bath (because gore and beatnik art commen- Fortean Times Verdict
to be honest.The scenes that
most closely resemble the iconic
who could ever ditch a name
like that) but it added a vampire
tary of Hill’s Blood Bath and
the hilarious, pointless padding
corMan For coMpLetIsts In
thIs DeFInItIVe reLease 6
moments of Jane Austen’s original
prove to be the most successful
and amusing.Yes, it’s a one-joke
film, but thanks to the quality of
the actors it manages not to pall.
It’s the confrontation with the
zombies themselves (who don’t get
enough screen time) that disap-
points. Irreverent and outrageous
as a premise, Pride & Prejudice &
Zombies is amusingly reverential to
the Austen source material but not
nearly outrageous enough when it
comes to the bloodletting.
Nick Cirkovic
Fortean Times Verdict

not enough bLooD on the
DrawIng rooM FLoor 6
FT342 65
reviews FILM & DVD
Doomwatch
Created by Kit Pedler and Gerry Davis, UK 1970-72
Simply Media, £39.99 (DVD)
plaints by Mary Whitehouse (who is
beautifully satirised in it) and others, ShorTS
and because it shows film of a real
execution in Nigeria.The picture DooMwatch
In the early Seventies there was a quality is a bit dodgy, but not enough Screenbound Pictures, £9.99 (DVD)
sudden interest in man’s impact on to spoil enjoyment of the series. The BBC series Doomwatch (see David Barrett’s
the world: books on pollution, over- Some storylines, like the carnivo- review) didn’t have Godzilla-like beasts stomp-
population, chemical dangers, dust- rous intelligent rats, were perhaps a ing on missile bases but instead explored the
bowls, and energy sources adorned little unlikely – but Doomwatch cov- more insidious threats of pollution and environ-
student shelves. And in 1970-72, for ered very real issues like the effects mental tinkering. In 1972 it got the big screen
anyone with a burgeoning concern on people of lead in petrol – an epi- treatment, with a movie poster promising “an
for the environment, there was Doom- sode that met with huge resistance ecological nightmare gone berserk!” It’s set in a
watch, a BBC series about the moral from oil companies; the absorption of small fishing village whose inhabitants are becoming deformed
responsibility of scientists. It was the female hormones from fish farming; and violent. Is it a classic case of inbreeding... or something
brainchild of scientist Dr Kit Pedler the evacuation of a village follow- else? The eerie first half plays like The Wicker Man, but the action
and Gerry Davis, who had worked ing a deadly germ leak; what to do soon widens to pull in politics, big business and lots of polo-neck
together on Doctor Who, creating the with the population of an isolated jumpers: it’s an absorbing, entertaining window into the twitchy
Cybermen; they later rewrote their island when they’re moved en masse environmental fears of the early 1970s. rev peter Laws 7/10
opening Doomwatch episode “The to Britain; letting computers decide
Plastic Eaters” as a novel. the treatment of the seriously ill; the the nInth conFIguratIon
‘Doomwatch’ was the nickname perils of computerised security, of Second Sight, £12.99 (Blu-ray), £9.99 (DVD)
for a tiny Government department, pesticides, of drugs that haven’t been
In The Exorcist, William Peter Blatty set out the
fewer than half a dozen people fully tested, of chemical leaks from case for the Devil’s existence. In The Ninth Con-
headed up by Nobel laureate Dr factories; and much more. figuration (which he wrote, directed and starred
Spencer Quist (John Paul).The When you see Powell and Oates in), he offers the argument for that other cosmic
Department for the Observation in the half-hour BBC4 documentary figurehead, God. It’s a brilliant, left-field movie,
and Measurement of Scientific Work “The Cult of Doomwatch” (2006) on with Stacy Keech in superb form as the Army
monitored the effects of scientific the final disc you suddenly realise Colonel overseeing an asylum full of troubled
and technological developments. just how many decades it is since veterans and failed astronauts. It’s also a reminder of just how
In 37 episodes over three series Doomwatch was made. It’s dated in funny Blatty can be. In fact, for a while you’ll think you’re watching a
(the final episode of series three its production, its acting, its long comedy. Come the gut-twisting last third of the movie, though, and
was never made), we watched Quist scenes and speeches, its fluffed lines you’ll be left sobbing like a baby. It’s a film that’s sure to puzzle and
and his team of “expert nuisances” (retakes were expensive), its atti- infuriate some, but delight plenty of others. rev pL 9/10
battling against stubborn bureau- tudes towards women, and perhaps
crats, scientists who hadn’t thought most of all its fashions (Quist’s polo
through the implications of their neck shirts, Ridge’s cravats) – yet it’s
the bIg short
Paramount Home Entertainment, £14.99 (Blu-ray), £12.99 (DVD)
inventions, and technocrats who still fresh and powerful today.
didn’t care. It was a brilliant series, Doomwatch was one of the most Adapted from Michael Lewis’s non-fiction book
with many truly terrifying (but significant and most powerful TV of the same name, Adam McKay’s film similarly
nearly always realistic) storylines. dramas of the last 50 years – a fact attempts to render the global recession of
Working with Quist were former that is ignored in this box set.The 2007 comprehensible to those of us who aren’t
intelligence agent Dr John Ridge BBC4 documentary is the sole extra; financial wizards. McKay manages to make this
(Simon Oates), who was never averse there’s no booklet of essays and no cautionary tale of greed, denial and cover-up on
a massive scale – and the men who saw it coming – entertain-
to bending the law; his cavalier cast or episode guides, and the sub-
ing enough, although I found its fourth-wall breaking and Margot
attitude to young women, including titles appear to have been written by
Robbie explaining sub-prime mortgages from a bubble bath stunt
the office secretary, dates the series someone who not only wasn’t paying
glib and slightly patronising. Christian Bale acts a lot, but Steve
more than anything on the scientific any attention to the stories, but quite
Carell is outstanding at providing some sort of moral centre from
side, including the (incredibly primi- possibly doesn’t even speak English.
which to watch the whole nightmare unfold. Ds 7/10
tive) computer worked by Colin Brad- “The Min of Ag & Fish” becomes
ley (Joby Blanshard) who, with his “The men of Agnum Fish”; “Oh, ta
lab coat, stolid personality and heavy love” becomes “Oh Tarla”, and so on. spotLIght
Yorkshire accent was a useful foil to There’s a feeling throughout Entertainment One, £14.99 (Blu-ray), £12.99 (DVD)
the other more vibrant characters. Doomwatch that they’re holding back Focusing on another cover-up dragged into the
After broadcast, the BBC re-used the tide, only delaying the inevitable. light of day, Spotlight tells the story of how a team
the tapes. Canadian sources mean Forty-plus years on, we can reflect of reporters from the Boston Globe uncovered the
that all of series two exists, but only on Quist’s words, as relevant today scandal of priests abusing children in their pasto-
about half of series one, and only as then: “But so long as human intel- ral care while being protected by the city’s Catholic
three episodes from the final series: ligence, human judgement, has the establishment. A sober, understated film, this
24 in all. For years, only a couple of last word...” “And if it doesn’t?” “God boasts fantastic performances all round, especially from Michael
episodes have been officially avail- help us all.” Keaton, Rachel McAdams and Mark Ruffalo (who gets quite angry
able on video, let alone DVD. Now, David V Barrett at one point; Hulk smash puny paedo priests?). Some may find
at last, they’re all officially released the film’s measured pace frustrating, but it does a quietly brilliant
in a seven-DVD set – including one Fortean Times Verdict job of laying out the patient legwork involved in a piece of long-
episode, “Sex andViolence”, that
was never broadcast because of com-
powerFuL anD prophetIc
DraMa In shoDDy reLease 8 term investigative journalism. Ds 8/10
66 FT342
ISbN: 9781473855212 ISbN: 9781781592991 ISbN: 9781473877160
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Dear FT…
letters
Beady-eyed Simulacra corner
incident, replied: “According to
them, I’ve met Adolf Hitler. Maybe
Alan Murdie is quite correct in they’re right, but I can’t remember
saying Galileo may have spied Nep- him.” We know also that, some
tune [FT340:42-45].The story goes time after his Coventry home had
that it was cloudy on the third night been flattened by a German bomb,
of his observation and therefore an emotionally charged Tandey
he couldn’t confirm the object had told another reporter: “When I
moved against the background of saw all the women and children
stars. Countless humans must have he had killed and wounded I was
seen Uranus too since the dawn of sorry to God I let him go.”
humanity, as it is just visible by the As for the rest of the tale, Dr
naked eye (but often gets omitted David Johnson has pointed out
from the list of naked eye planets). (amongst other things) the incon-
Perhaps a keen eye thousands of sistencies in Tandey’s accounts,
years ago noticed it moving against the lack of any documentary evi-
the stellar background long before dence supporting the conversation
Herschel ‘discovered’ it. between Chamberlain and Hitler,
Kevan Hubbard and the lack of any date on which
Oxford both Tandey and Hitler could have
been in the same part of France at
the same time.You can read about
Sceptic strikes gold the full affair in Johnson’s book
A news story today [11 May 2016] One Soldier and Hitler: 1918 (2012).
concerns a prospector called Stefan Putigny
Vincent Thurkettle finding Brit- Andover, Hampshire
ain’s largest-ever gold nugget off
Moelfre, Anglesey.Thurkettle, 60,
discovered the 23-carat nugget,
Grilled teddy bears
the size of a small chicken’s egg I enjoyed reading John Billings-
and worth £50,000, on the seabed, ley’s article on the use of soft
16ft (5m) down in 2012, but kept it toys as a protective device in the
secret until he was sure there was Balkan countries [FT339:28-35],
no more gold on the nearby wreck Catherine Hale noticed this dark apparition in Marks and Spencer’s especially the part about the oc-
of the Royal Charter that sank dur- Bedford store, and asked her father Rodney Hale to photograph currence of soft toys attached to
it. The image, she said, “might be either the result of the way the
ing a hurricane in 1859, supposedly the grills of vehicles in Britain and
light hits the side panel of the Breaded Fish shelves, or something
with gold worth £120 million.The the America. Whilst I was a student
more sinister...” We are always glad to receive pictures of spontane-
nugget is now the property of the in the late 1980s I worked as a
ous forms and figures, or any curious images. Send them to the PO
Crown. dustbin man (not the correct term
box above (with a stamped addressed envelope or international reply
By a curious twist,Thurkettle is nowadays) for the local borough
coupon) or to sieveking@forteantimes.com – and please tell us your
the same man who – as a young for- council during the summer holiday.
postal address.
ester – was involved in the Rendle- The first year many of the dustbin
sham Forest UFO crash case and is lorries were adorned with various
best known for supposedly creating after a painting on the wall called to nod his thanks and escape. Some toys that had been left out in the
the lighthouse explanation. The Menin Crossroads (1923) by months later, he recognised Tandey rubbish, which were repurposed to
Jenny Randles Fortunino Matania. Hitler told from a photograph in a newspaper cheer up the vehicles. On returning
Stockport, Cheshire Chamberlain that the man in article about his being awarded the the next year I found they had all
the front of the painting was the Victoria Cross. Armed with a name, gone.The men had been told to
by-now famous British war hero the by-then Führer came into remove them due to the fear that
Adolf spared Henry Tandey, and then went on possession of the painting in 1937 small children would walk in front
In response to Duncan Kaiser’s let- to explain that he and Tandey after a member of his staff, Dr Otto of the wagons to look at or try to
ter, ‘pull the other one’ [FT339:74], had met on a battlefield in 1918. Schwend, alerted him to the fact remove the toys; what’s more, there
the Tommy who supposedly spared Supposedly, Hitler had been that Tandey purportedly featured was a story that a child had been
Adolf Hitler’s life was Private crossing open ground in a French prominently in Matania’s painting. killed doing this somewhere in the
Henry Tandey, Britain’s most village, only to look up and find As for the truth of the matter, country. I’m not sure if this was just
decorated soldier of World War I. himself staring down the barrel of we know that Hitler did have a an excuse for extending Health
The story goes that, whilst visiting a Tommy’s rifle. A moment passed, copy of The Menin Crossroads hang- & Safety or a genuine incident. If
Germany in 1938 to secure ‘peace and then, perhaps having seen ing on his wall, and we know that the latter, does anyone recall the
in our time’, Neville Chamberlin enough blood spilt for one day, in 1939 Tandey was interviewed details?
was given a tour of Hitler’s apart- the British soldier had lowered his for the Coventry Herald in August Darren Fowkes
ments. Whilst there, he enquired weapon, allowing a grateful Hitler 1939 and, when asked about the Ilkeston, Derbyshire
FT342 71
letters
Haf I got news for dangerous – you could be jailed, 50 per cent chance of the missile ter the author states that: “The
sent to a concentration camp, or actually landing, if it is aimed development of nuclear missiles
you shot – so it would be a brave shop- at the centre of a circle of that meant that Guardian had less stra-
keeper indeed who would turn a radius). Surveillance limitations of tegic importance…’ whilst I seem
The following report is from the ‘70 German away. the time would also make it harder to recall a more specific reference
years ago’ column of the Norwe- Possibly, the phrase ‘taken for a to know exactly where the target in the previous volume to the
gian weekly paper Morgenbladet German’ should be understood as was. While even a bunker such as bunker having been designed to
(19 Feb 2016), originally published ‘believed to be a Norwegian col- the Cheyenne Mountain complex withstand attack by atomic bomb,
in February 1946. laborator’ – patriotic Norwegians in Colorado would not survive a di- but being unable to withstand
would avoid having anything to do rect hit from a strategic warhead, thermonuclear weapons. Although
“PECULIAR LANGUAGE with them.That might have been it could survive the blast from one it had been rendered redun-
ABERRATION. even more dangerous for the shop- landing a mile or more away, as dant for this reason, the facility
In The Norwegian Academy keepers; many collaborators would well as the accompanying Elec- was maintained as a telephone
of Sciences Professor Dr. O.H. be quicker to take offense than tromagnetic Pulse.This seemed a exchange.
Monrad-Krohn gave a lecture the Germans themselves, who of reasonable level of survivability Andy Pearson
about a 30-year-old woman course understood the situation when the facility was built, but Birchwood, Cheshire
who in September 1941 was and knew they were unpopular. since modern guidance systems
hit by a bomb splinter on her To give an example, my mother, would put the warhead on top of
head. She soon recovered, born in 1929, was between 11 and the bunker, the protection it now
Ether & dark matter
but when she regained her 16 years old during WWII. It was a offers is pretty limited. Kurt Lothman asks why dark mat-
powers of speech she had common sport among the children Realistically, the decommis- ter is acceptable to science and
completely changed her in Trondheim to bait German sol- sioning of bunkers since the end ether is not [FT339:73].The answer
accent and prosody, so that ders and officers, and some of the of the Cold War is justified by the is that the ‘Luminiferous Æther’, as
she was constantly taken for a stories she tells make me literally (supposed) reduction in the threat. it was conceived, had quite specific
German, and so was unable to sick with worry. Still, she never It is no doubt correct to say that properties – in particular it was a
buy anything in shops. She is came to any harm. they had long since ceased to offer medium at absolute rest, through
born in Nordstrand [a suburb Nils Erik Grande the protection they were designed which electromagnetic waves were
of Oslo], lives in Oslo, and has Oslo, Norway to offer. In any case, the reali- transmitted and other objects
never been abroad.” ties of military decision-making moved.The existence of the ether
[Recounted at FT58:26, are a little more complex than implied certain behaviour that
76:14]
Bunker busters “What could they hit us with?” the Michelson Morley experiment
With reference to the Mythchaser and “What could protect us?”The demonstrated did not in fact occur
This is a strange story in many suggestion that modern nuclear enemy’s Concept of Operations (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
ways. It is obvious that the medical warheads are so powerful as to ren- is also relevant. For example, it Michelson%E2%80%93Morley_
establishment took the case seri- der bunkers obsolete [FT340:23], would not be politically accept- experiment). It therefore follows
ously, so it may well be a genuine this isn’t quite right.The most able for the UK government to that the ether as conceived up to
example of Foreign Accent Syn- powerful nuclear bombs ever de- have an explicit policy of targeting that point cannot exist.
drome. On the other hand, many veloped were products of the 1950s civilian population centres with By contrast, while experimental
Norwegians were pro-German and early 1960s. (‘Tsar Bomba’ nuclear warheads – rather, the efforts to directly observe dark
and many women dated German was the biggest nuclear detona- UK strategic strike would target matter have thus far failed, no ex-
soldiers, so it might conceivably tion in history and that was 1961). Soviet Command and Control periment has been able to produce
be an affectation to ‘fit in’ with Modern nuclear warhead yields facilities. As it happens these were physical evidence that it cannot
the Germans.This would of course are not officially acknowledged, dotted around the edge of Moscow, exist. It may not exist, but in that
make her mighty unpopular but something of the order of 100- so a strategic response would case a whole new theory will be
among patriotic Norwegians, but 200 Kilotonnes (TNT equivalent) have the effect of flattening the needed to explain the anomalies
you had to make your choice in is the likely norm, at least in the city anyway, but not as a result of that dark matter was conceived to
those days.The really unbeliev- West.The early weapons yielded in direct impact on the city itself, so account for.
able part is that a German “should the Megatonne range and it is hard civil defence facilities in the city Regarding the Luminifer-
be unable to buy anything in to envisage any practical bunker might offer more protection than ous Æther, I say ‘as conceived’,
shops.” Open rebellion against the design protecting against such a if the city itself were the target. because the quantum foam (see
occupying forces was extremely destructive weapon. Ian I’Anson https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
A major difference Lancing, West Sussex Quantum_foam and https://
between mid-20th cen- en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aether_
tury weapons and their There are relevant references to theories) is at least superficially
modern equivalents is nuclear bunkers in Keith Wallen- similar to the concept of the ether,
in the accuracy of their der’s excellent books Underground though its properties are funda-
guidance systems. An Manchester and Below Manchester mentally different. So, in fact, an
intercontinental ballistic published by Willow Publishing. ether of some description is quite
missile with a 1960s In the latter volume Wallender acceptable to modern science; just
guidance computer makes reference to Guardian, not one exhibiting the properties
would do well to achieve which was part of a network of that experimental observations
a Circular Error Prob- communications bunkers created have demonstrated that it cannot
able (CEP) of a couple of after WWII. Similar facilities were have.
miles (CEP is the radius Kingsway in London and Anchor Ian I’Anson
JORODO
within which there is a in Birmingham. In Below Manches- Lancing, West Sussex
72 FT342
letters
The failure of attempts to measure Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski or ex enemies and their descendants Chambers and Hiding Places (SH
the velocity of the Earth through a Harvard history professor Caroll went on to form a Caliphate that Bousfield, London, 1901), historian
postulated ‘Luminiferous Æther’ Quigley, there is no need to envis- stretched from Spain and North Af- and antiquary Allan Fea includes
led to the formulation of the theory age bug-eyed aliens from Zeta rica to the Balkans and the steppes an account of the destruction of the
of relativity.The idea of the ether Reticuli cavorting around an owl of Russia. mansion of Hinton Ampner, which
was replaced by the current view of statue with members of an extinct Returning to the reaction of appears to resolve the nature of the
the vacuum as an active medium, Bavarian secret society. ‘sceptics’, I would suggest that it ‘haunting’ that occurred there. I
boiling with transient virtual par- Speaking of Bavaria, the is a unique defence mechanism quote the passage in full:
ticles. Dark matter is postulated to Nazis began as a small cadre of used by the elite. Imagine that you “...When it was pulled down in year
consist of very weakly interacting anti-communists, occultists and ex- had a mortal enemy and you knew 1797, it became very obvious how
particles, perhaps only acting on army officers who met and plotted many sordid details about his life, the mysteries, which gave the house
other matter by its gravitational ef- in Munich beer halls. It took the but every time you tried to tell the reputation for being haunted,
fect. It is needed in order to make combined might of the capitalist others they reacted as if you were were managed, for numerous secret
galaxies and galactic clusters gravi- and communist powers to wreck mentally ill or stupid. Since the stairs and passages, not known to
tationally bound: without more their dream of a 1,000-year Reich. CIA invented the term ‘conspiracy exist, were brought to light which
mass than can be detected in them, Communism too began with a theorist’ in the wake of the Warren had offered peculiar facilities for
they would break up. Dark matter, small cadre of men plotting in back Commission, the mass media have the deception. About the middle
whatever it turns out to be, is not rooms and distributing subver- delighted in portraying conspiracy of the eighteenth century the
uniformly distributed and does not sive tracts.These men went on to theorists as imbeciles and loons, mansion passed out of the hands of
have any of the properties formerly machine-gun the Tsar and his fam- and in my experience sceptics are its old possessors, the Stewkeleys,
attributed to the ether. ily before lowering the Iron Cur- just as credulous as anyone else. and shortly afterwards became
Dr Pete Swindells tain on Eastern Europe and large Paul Whyte notorious for the unaccountable
Wolverhampton, West Midlands swathes of Asia. Christianity began Dublin noises which disturbed the peace of
from secret meetings hidden from mind of the new tenants. Not only
the eyes of the Romans. From this were there violent knocks, ham-
Wrong woodland emerged the Holy Roman Empire,
Hinton Ampner merings, groanings, and the sound
As a long-time fan and subscriber, the Inquisition, and the Conquis- I recently come across an interest- of footsteps in the ceilings and
and a long-time resident of Wood- tadors.The prophet Mohammed ing aspect of the Hinton Ampner walls, strange sights frightened the
land, California, I was thrilled started off with a small group of mystery [FT309:28-32, 336:74]. In servants out of their wits. A ghostly
to see Woodland mentioned followers hunted by powerful tribal a long out-of-print volume, Secret visitant dressed in drab would ap-
[FT340:9]. But alas! It’s a mistake. pear and disappear mysteriously,
The town that is afraid of solar a female figure was often seen to
power is Woodland, North Carolina. rush through the apartments, and
Woodland, California, has quite a other supernatural occurrences at
few solar installations, but still not length became so intolerable that
enough ghosts or UFOs to make the inmates of the house sought
the cut in Fortean Times, still my refuge in flight. Later successive
favourite magazine. tenants fared the same. A hundred
Mary Aulman pounds reward was offered to
By email any that should run the ghosts to
earth; but nothing resulted from
it, and after thirty years or more of
Scoff not hauntings, the house was razed to
In his review of Suspicious Minds the ground. Secret passages and
[FT339:61], DavidV Barrett states: chambers were then brought to
“Conspiracists are… less inclined light; but those who had carried on
to think logically, rationally and the deception for so long took the
scientifically.” I have observed secret with them to their graves.”
similar traits in so called ‘sceptics’ (page 85).
– people who you can talk to about Citing the Life of Richard Bar-
seemingly anything who suddenly ham (an Anglican priest, antiquary
get angry and contemptuous at Mystery key the friends we were with had and author of The Ingoldsby Leg-
the mere suggestion that rich and found a very similar key in the ends), this account offers a rational
powerful people sometimes gather My seven-year-old daughter, preceding weeks in a different dimension to the occurrences
in private and plot to increase their a keen trainee fortean, found tree in the same grove. My which famously took place at that
wealth and power. One definition this tiny key in an ancient daughter speculated that it house and an altogether valuable
of conspiracy is “a secret plan by a gnarled yew tree at Kingley might be a fairy key, but could perspective – that of not taking
group to do something unlawful or Vale, East Sussex, on 1 May find no appropriately sized things at face value. Perhaps
harmful”. If three hoodlums meet 2016. It was resting in a gap door nearby. Have any other the truth behind the disturbing
in secret to plot a robbery, it’s a in a branch of the large yew readers found similar keys here events at Hinton Ampner vanished
conspiracy; thus if a group of ultra- that she was climbing in a or elsewhere – or does anyone forever with the fabric of the old
rich bankers clandestinely meet grove of several other trees. know their provenance? building.
to fix the price of gold, it too is a The bronze-coloured key is Richard Cockshott Andrew Charles Plantagenet
conspiracy. If one reads the books 28mm long. It turned out that Bodmin, Cornwall Summers
of either ex US National Security Chelmarsh, Shropshire
FT342 73
letters
Alien tech DNA sample of an alien
abduction case in Australia
I was looking on-line recently at was sent for analysis.The
ancient artefacts resembling space result was surprising.The
rockets. With the “Istanbul space- DNA structure resembles
ship” (pictured right) championed Chinese persons with black
by Zecharia Sitchin, I was, as ever, hair. Secondly, Chinese
impressed by the position of the language is totally differ-
‘cabin’ to the fore of the vehicle, ent from Indo-European
the conical nose, the apparent languages; it is more akin
booster rockets so similar to those to Mongolian.This suggests
we actually use ourselves; even that Chinese people are not
the ‘pilot’s’ clothing seemed to re- related to any bloodline of
semble a spaceman’s apparel. But China after a 300-year war with destroyed giant aliens and came Aryans.
then it struck me: if these objects another alien species from the back from the 12th planet as de- The third piece of evidence
are space vehicles of the sort we Nephilim, as mentioned in works scribed in Genesis.The Earth was was proposed by Chinese UFO
recognise as rockets, they would by Zecharia Sitchin. still in an Ice Age. Giant aliens had researcher Lee Wai Tung.There
be unable to reach our planet from According to research byVan inhabited the Earth for more than were three very mysterious
some distant world unless they Flandern, an explosion of a miss- 2.5 million years. According to ancient texts that could not be
used a much more sophisticated ing planet between Mars and Sitchin, Sumerian texts state that attributed to any philosophical
technology than we have for our Jupiter occurred three million these 12th planet aliens landed school like Confucianism or Tao-
rockets, and if they did use such years ago, caused by the use of in the Middle East. I disagree and ism.They are Book of Changes (易
improved flight techniques would space plasma weapons. Dr Joseph think that the so-called Aryans 經), Inner Cannon of Hwangdi (黃
they really resemble our own Farrell postulated that there were were indeed hybrids created by 帝內經), and Classic of Mountains
‘ordinary’ craft? After all, modern- intelligent humanlike beings Nephilim aliens in the Arctic and Seas (山海經). Inner Cannon
day sightings, if clear ones, almost on this planet.To cope with the region. According to some esoteric is the oldest source of tradi-
invariably concern variations on higher gravity, they were of much texts and scientific research, the tional Chinese medicine. The
the saucer-shape craft, triangular larger size and with a heavier Aryans originated at the North acupuncture points and meridian
vehicles and ‘cigars’, whilst less skeleton than Earthlings.The Pole and later dispersed to India, system mentioned in the text are
clear sightings concern tiny ball- shape of a plasma ray was like Persia, North Africa and even Eu- unique in the world, and were not
like lights. None of which (even a thunderbolt weapon in some rope.These Aryans were nurtured developed from any philosophi-
‘cigars’) really resemble rockets. ancient mythologies; the Greek by superbeings, possibly by 12th cal schools in ancient China. The
For some ‘faked’ sightings I God Zeus, the Hindu God Indra planet aliens. Strangely, these biological system underlying tra-
propose what I call the Star Trek and the Babylonian God Ninurta Aryans did not travel eastwards ditional Chinese medicine might
formula: the more sophisticated each holds a divine thunderbolt to China and East Asia. Why? be the knowledge inherited from
the vehicle sighted the less likely weapon. However, I cannot find Perhaps the Chinese mainland alien species, according to Lee
it is to be real footage.That is, any similar one in Chinese mythol- had already been guarded by giant Wai Tung. Human intelligence
if it looks like it came from the ogy. My first guess is that the alien aliens so that these Aryans found could not have achieved such so-
cutting-room floor of a science- species that destroyed the planet it difficult to conquer China.The phisticated knowledge about the
fiction movie, then it probably did! were the ancestors of those people Garden of Eden was only one of human body in the ancient world.
One classic sign is the presence from the 12th planet in Sitchin’s the episodes in the landing his- Finally, I want to tell readers
of wing-like appendages on these works. During this interplanetary tory. My version fits neatly with the mythological origin of the
‘craft’ used for friction-environ- war, the Anunnaki ancestors did Sitchin’s theory. Chinese people. Most Chinese
ments like Earth’s atmosphere, not conquer Earth. On the other According to recent research in believe that the name of their
but since UFOs prior to the CGI hand, some of the surviving beings north China and Siberia Oracle, an ancestor is Fuxi (伏羲). His
era have not needed them I don’t from the destroyed planet escaped alien army enslaved ancient Chi- mother was a virgin. One day
see why they would appear now. to Earth, possibly landing in the nese people to build the pyramids. when his mother stepped into a
Simon van Someren regions near northern China such In mural display, a group of beings big footstep left by the Thunder
London as Mongolia. Most importantly, dressed in leather armour, 12ft God, she became pregnant for 12
this explosion triggered successive (3.6m) tall and red-haired, helped years before Fuxi was born. The
Ice Ages, which retarded evolu- the people to fight those alien in- Thunder God might be a giant al-
Chinese from space tionary progress on Earth.These vaders. Also, Sitchin said northern ien while Fuxi was a hybrid made
Napoleon said: “When all the giant species continued to survive China and Mongolia’s Gobi Desert from genetic manipulation.
Chinese people jump at the same on Earth but they became smaller encountered serious air pollu- This hypothesis helps to ex-
time, the whole world will shake”. over time to cope, or used genetic tion and nuclear war. (Prehistoric plain why China has developed a
I am Chinese.The more I studied engineering for adapting to the nuclear war in ancient India is totally different – and to a certain
Chinese civilisation, the more I new living conditions. Anyway, another topic.) The invaders came extent opposite – civilisation
recognised its uniqueness, very dif- they didn’t interfere with natural from the 12th planet while the from Indo-Europeans. Are the
ferent from those Indo-European evolution on Earth. Another specu- giant aliens were descendants 12th planet and the giant aliens
cultures. I hereby give a shocking lation was that they froze their surviving the cosmic war three fighting a proxy war on Earth by
hypothesis about the origin of Chi- bodies for a million years until the million years ago. means of east-west rivalry? Who
nese people: they developed from end of the Ice Ages. Here are three related facts knows?
a hybrid of alien giants with early About 450,000 years ago, the to support the alien origin of the Hei Sing Tso
Earth people living in northern descendants of those species Chinese people. In 1988, the first Hong Kong
74 FT342
Have you had strange experiences that you cannot explain?
it happened to me…
We are always interested in reading of odd events and occurrences.
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First-hand accounts from Fortean Times readers and posters at forum.forteantimes.com
Spooky tailgater from the car’s motion.

I was driving alone in a remote
Something occurred back in the area of Joshua Tree, which is a
1980s that continues to baffle me. huge National Park in the southwest
A friend – we’ll call her Ruby – asked portion of the Mojave Desert.
me to drive her and her stepdaughter Rock fans of course are familiar
to Melbourne Airport [in Florida] one with the U2 album about the Tree,
night to catch a midnight flight to and the fact that Gram Parsons
upstate New York. Since it was a OD’d there, memorialised in the
nearly two-hour drive from Orlando Stones’ ode Wild Horses. It was just
to Melbourne, we left Orlando at fully dark. I had been out on the
9:30pm as I made my way to US 1-92 desert floor for some time, taking
– a highway that cuts across central sunset photographs with the trees
Florida to the east coast. For miles silhouetted. I had not seen any other
there is nothing but cattle pasture people or cars for hours. I was driving
and hillocks, occasionally traversed slowly, about 30mph (48km/h). The
by high-voltage wires supported by tall road took me uphill, and then around
IDReAMLIkeCRAzY / FLICkR
towers. a constant radius left turn with the

It was a beautiful night and the road banked somewhat. I held the
stars were out and we had been on wheel to the left, leaning into the
the road a little less than an hour curve. In the US the driver sits on
when Ruby’s stepdaughter – who the left. Due to the turn, the rosary
was sitting in the back seat – said, swung to the right, then hung steady
“Greg, can you see anyone driving at about the four o’clock position. I
that car behind you?” I glanced up at the us headed straight to the cocktail lounge and was thinking that it was odd to see it angled
rear-view mirror and saw that a large, dark ordered a good, stiff drink. After seeing the like that, and was shifting my focus to the
automobile was right on my bumper – my women onto their plane, I now had to make rosary for a few seconds, then to the roadway
taillights reflecting on its hood (bonnet). The the drive back to Orlando by myself so I chose for a few seconds, back and forth, as the
vehicle’s headlights were not turned on but another route. rosary stayed tilted at about four.
the interior light was and, sure enough – I I still can’t make sense of this experience. While I was looking directly at the rosary, it
could not see anyone behind the steering Could the driver have been experiencing suddenly flew off the mirror and clattered to
wheel! We marvelled at this enigma when the electrical problems within the vehicle and the passenger side floor – at least as much
vehicle slinked back into the darkness and was using my car’s taillights to stay on the as a rosary weighing a few ounces can clatter.
disappeared from sight. Five minutes later my road? The next day I told my brother – who I followed its path, looking directly at it, and
backseat passenger said, “It’s back!” Again, trains emergency medical personnel – of noticed it even bounced a bit off the floor mat.
I looked up at the rear-view mirror and the this unnerving experience and he told me With the hair on the back of my neck standing
automobile seemed glued to my bumper! Its that stretch of road has seen many deadly up, I leaned over to grab it and clutched it
headlights were still turned off but the interior automobile accidents and is considered a in my right hand. Without stopping the car, I
light was on and we still could see no one ‘haunted highway’. looked up again at the mirror, but it was still
behind the steering wheel. Greg May properly affixed on the post, which was securely
“Alright girls”, I said as I accelerated. “Lock Orlando, Florida mounted to the windshield.
your doors”. I gunned the engine and the big, I kept driving for a few miles, till I figured
black vehicle stayed right on my tail as if it Flung rosary I was away from whatever or whoever had
were attached to my bumper. Then it once snatched and flung the rosary, then pulled over.
again slinked back into the darkness and In 2000 a spirit entered my moving car and The mirror was still in place and the rosary
disappeared. This was before cellphones were complained about my taste in religious symbols intact. The only conclusion I could make was
in vogue and here I was out in the middle – that’s the best explanation I heard, anyway. the rosary had passed through the mirror post
of nowhere, late at night with two frightened I live in San Pedro, California, the harbour and been thrown to the floor.
women playing cat-and-mouse with a phantom area of Los Angeles. There is a local Southern I mentioned the incident to my friend Sofia,
vehicle. We didn’t see it for about 15 minutes California custom of hanging a Catholic rosary who comes from a Mexican family (Indian as
and were just beginning to calm down when from the car’s rear-view mirror. This may be opposed to Spanish background, as she is very
all of a sudden – Boo! – the headlights of the down to the fact that the Church has declared proud of the distinction). She scoffed and said,
phantom vehicle came on right behind us, that Saint Christopher never actually existed, so “Oh Marcos, that’s no big thing. You had an
causing all three of us to scream in unison. we no longer affix St Christopher medallions to Indian spirit riding in your car who didn’t like the
Ruby had just lit a cigarette and it fell out of her the visor. missionaries. A lot of times the missionaries
mouth and her stepdaughter began to cry. A rosary forms a loop about 10in (25cm) were mean to the Indians. He got mad at your
Again I put the ‘pedal to the metal’ as I flew round, but is not a necklace so has no clasp. rosary and threw it down.” I am aware the
along the Florida country back-road pursued To hang it from a mirror, one holds it sideways, missionaries were sometimes less than kind to
by the vehicle that seemed to be attached to passes it along the width of the mirror, and it some of the natives, but the mission period in
the back of my car. Then, as suddenly as it then hangs down from the mounting post. Once Alta California was around 1770 to 1860... Still,
appeared it extinguished its headlights and there it hangs securely from the post behind Sofia’s is the best explanation I’ve heard.
disappeared into the black of the night. When the mirror, usually with the crucifix part hanging Mark J Willis
we arrived at Melbourne Airport all three of straight down, but sometimes swaying a bit By email
FT342 75
STRANGE AND SENSATIONAL STORIES FROM
JAN BONDESON presents more stories from the "worst newspaper in England" – the Illustrated Police News.
unlawfully using pretended hypnotism and challenge, but then ‘Professor’ Vint came
48. LIVELY GOINGS ON AT A mesmerism to deceive and impose upon Her dashing into the room, threatening him with a
Majesty’s subjects. He was fined a total of £5 revolver! If a police constable had not arrived
TRANCE SHOW 5s., and had to pay in excess of £19 costs, or to calm things down, some nasty scenes might
face three months in prison. have ensued, but once he saw the constable,
‘Professor’ Mark Moores was a phrenologist After this hard blow to his budding the ‘corpse’ jumped back into the coffin and
and mesmerist who kept the Phrenological career, Leon Vint, as he henceforth called resumed his ‘trance’.
Museum in Morecambe. His son Harry himself, toured the provinces for several These undignified scenes in Chester were
Moores, born in 1868, also became a years. It was not until October 1896 that he discussed in many newspapers, the Illustrated
mesmerist and hypnotist. When still a next made the news, again unfortunately Police News adding a hilarious illustration
teenager, he started performing in the for all the wrong reasons. At this time, he of the nightshirted man and the coffin. The
provinces, hypnotising volunteers from the was performing in Chester, with an act foolhardy ‘Professor’ managed to explain that
audience, to considerable acclaim. He used that involved his assistant being put in the revolver he had been waving around was
the stage names ‘Professor Leon Vint’, ‘Dr a trance on a Monday, to be woken up on only a cigar-cutter in the shape of a revolver!
Dexter Vint’, and ‘Oubas the Mysterious’ Saturday night. The assistant, dressed only A Cheshire Observer journalist had been
interchangably. In December 1891, when in a nightshirt, was sleeping in a coffin. The knocked on the head by a ruffian in Vint’s
he was performing in Wolverhampton, the problem was that Leon Vint had promised employ at some stage of the uproar, and the
Town Clerk prosecuted him before the local that the local medical men, and any other ‘Professor’ was taken to court again, this
magistrates, alleging that his hypnotism was interested parties, would be allowed to time being fined £12 and costs. In spite of the
a complete fraud and that the ‘volunteers’ witness the trance and satisfy themselves Chester fiasco, he continued as a showman,
were in fact men in his employ. And indeed, that no fraud was involved. A number of local although trance shows were strictly avoided:
a witness had been struck by the fact that roughs took him up on this offer, bringing instead, he employed a 20-strong female
the same ‘volunteers’ appeared on stage a bottle of whisky and a pack of cards to choir and a pianoforte player in his grand
at several different performances and that amuse themselves in the room with the ‘Globe Choir and Scenorama’ that toured
they were seen laughing and joking together coffin. After they had stuck pins into the the provincial music halls and mechanics’
as if they knew each other. Although the sleeping man and burnt his nose with a cigar, institutes. As the choir performed, Leon Vint
phrenologist Mark Moores and the Baptist he was miraculously ‘cured’ of his trance: he exhibited a series of moving and panoramic
minister of Bury acted as character witnesses, leapt out of the coffin, and struck out at his pictures, and ‘Madame Vint’ showed her
and although several people who had been tormentors, challenging the shortest of them clairvoyant talents in a séance.Vint’s Globe
hypnotised by young Moores swore that they to a fight. One of the tallest and stoutest Choir and Scenorama was particularly
were not in his employ, he was found guilty of of the rowdy visitors instead accepted the popular in Wales, where he struck a chord
with the labouring
men in the valleys.
In 1912, he rented
the Nuneaton
Theatre and
reopened it as
Vint’s Electric
Theatre, but
according to the
Stage Year Book
for 1919, he was
back in London by
that time.
The popularity
of the cinema
meant that such
unambitious
theatrical
performances
became a thing of
the past, too old-
fashioned even for
the most backward
Welsh valleys,
and ‘Professor’
Leon Vint, who
had once become
notorious for the
lively goings-on at
his trance show,
died in obscurity
in 1943.
ABOVE: Lively goings-on at Professor Vint’s trance show, from the Illustrated Police News, 10 October 1896.
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78 FT342
COMING
NEXT Strange
UNUSUAL WAYS OF SHUFFLING OFF THIS MORTAL COIL
deathS
MONTH
At 10.45am on 12 December 2015, a turned off the lift on 30 January, and the
foul Saturday morning, a passing cyclist body was found when other workers
found the body of a smartly dressed arrived on 1 March. It is believed the
man lying face up, arms by his side, woman, only identified by the last name
on the bleak slope of Indian’s Head on Wu, was 43 years old and lived by herself
Saddleworth Moor in the South Pennines on the 15th floor of the building. Local
(notorious as the burial site of four victims media reports portrayed her as mentally
murdered by Ian Brady and Myra Hindley in ill and said that her family believed she had
the 1960s). The man was close to 6ft (1.8m) just got lost somewhere. They had reported
tall, aged between 65 and 75, fair-skinned with her missing but did not take further steps to
blue eyes and receding grey hair. In his pockets determine her whereabouts. The workers had
were 13 ten-pound notes, three train tickets been called to fix a fault with the lift, found it
(including a return ticket to London) and an stuck between the 10th and 11th floors, shouted
empty vial of thyroxine sodium (a harmless drug to see if anyone was inside, and – when no
used to treat underactive thyroid glands) with a one answered – cut the power. Their failure to
label written in Urdu. check properly amounted to “gross negligence”,
Nearly six months later, police have yet to government officials said. The building was
identify him, but they have taken to calling left vacant for a month due to observance and
haunted holidays him “Neil Dovestone” after the Dovestone
Reservoir, above which his body was found.
celebration of the Chinese New Year. Police
treated the death as involuntary manslaughter
the hidden history of the CCTV had caught him taking a tube train from and several arrests were made. BBC News,
Ealing Broadway in London on 11 December. At jezebel.com, 6 Mar; NY Times, (London) Times, 7
isle of wight Euston he bought a return ticket to Manchester, Mar 2016.
whence he took another train to the village of
Greenfield 15 miles (24km) away on the edge Police were called to the River Wandle in
of the Peak District. At 2pm he walked into the Wimbledon, southwest London, in June 2010,
Clarence Hotel in Greenfield and asked landlord and pulled a headless body from the water.
Mel Robinson in a polite, placeless accent for Following procedure, they summoned a doctor
directions to the “top of the mountain”. Despite to declare the man was “life extinct”. At the
being warned it would soon be dark, he set off inquest in November 2011, coroner Shirley
towards the hills overlooked by the towering Radcliffe asked: “Even though there was no
1,500ft (4,600m) rock formation called Wimbury head, you had to call [a doctor] in?” Det. Insp.
Stones, known locally as Indian’s Head. Two Chuk Gwams replied: “Yes, Ma’am. They are the
witnesses saw him at 4.30pm, about three experts. We are not.” Adelaide Advertiser, 23
quarters of the way up, as darkness rolled in Nov 2011.
and temperatures plunged.
A post mortem examination found he had A vet taking a selfie in front of an elephant was
a titanium plate fitted to his left femur, which trampled to death. Octavia Warahapsari, 25,
gothic getaway at one point had been badly broken. This was
traced to a company called True Dynamic based
who worked for the Indonesian tourist centre
where the attack happened, fled when the
A long strAnge summer At in Faisabad, Pakistan. Meticulous detective work animal charged her, dropping her mobile phone;
the villA deodAti has narrowed the list of possible candidates but when she turned back to retrieve it, the
to 1,750 patients in 15 Pakistani hospitals. On Sumatran elephant caught her in its trunk, hurled
+
15 March, a toxicology report showed the man her to the ground and trampled her. She died
had taken strychnine, a deadly poison banned of severe injuries. (Sydney) D.Telegraph, 13 May
in Europe and the Americas but available to buy 2016.
over the counter in Pakistan. Two days later, the
olmpyian oddities, police announced that the ostensibly harmless Suharto Dimjati, 48, died when a cow he was
funeral museum, medicine bottle had contained strychnine. slaughtering in a sacrificial ceremony suddenly
Traces of the drug Reserpine – banned in kicked out, making him stab his own arm.
northern weirdness, Britain but used in some countries to treat high He severed an artery, suffered severe blood
blood pressure – were also found in the man’s loss, and died on the way to hospital after the
and muCh more… blood. The police initially reported that he was accident at a Muslim festival in Taman Cahaya
Caucasian, but now think he may be a Pashtun Baru, a township in Malaysia’s Johor state. His
forteAn
from northwestern Pakistan, an ethnic group family said he had been proud to be given the
who often have fair skin and blue eyes. Why honour of sacrificing the cow. Metro, 1 Oct 2015.
he chose to die on a remote English hillside
remains an utter mystery. Eve. Standard, 22 Jan, Indonesian pop star Irma Bule, 29, kept
TIMES
14 Mar; Guardian, 27+28 Jan; Sunday Telegraph, performing for 45 minutes in Karawang despite
20 Mar 2016. being bitten by a cobra that was part of her
stage act. She often used reptiles during her
343
A woman’s body was found inside a lift (elevator stage shows. Though the snake had not been
in US) in China a month after it was switched off. de-fanged, she showed no immediate signs
It was in an apartment block in the northwestern of illness and refused an offer of anti-venom.
city of Xi’an (famed for its entombed terra-cotta She later began to vomit and have seizures
warriors). The woman’s hands were injured from before being rushed to hospital, where she was
what appeared to be attempts to force the door pronounced dead on 4 April. “In the middle of the
open, and scratches were found inside the lift, second song, Irma stepped on the snake’s tail
one of two inside the building. She had probably before it bit her on the thigh,” said a member of
died from dehydration. Two maintenance workers the audience. D.Telegraph, 8 April 2016.
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Designed in Britain. Printed in Belgium.

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monsters on

the prowl... malaysian malaise mass hysteria hits more schools

FT342 july 2016 £4.25

ghost hunting in the

FT342 july 2016 £4.25

ghost hunting in the

05 THE CONSPIRASPHERE 23 MYTHCONCEPTIONS

30 GHOST HuNT AT THE

30 GHOST HuNT AT THE ‘HOuSE OF SuiciDES’ 36 THE HAuNTED HEARTH

42 THE GHOSTS OF THE OSTRicH iNN

48 THE SPEcTRE OF THE FERRy bOAT iNN

76 STORiES FROM THE iLLuSTRATED POLicE NEWS

COVER: ETIENNE GILFILLAN. THANKS TO ELI WATSON

FORTEAN TIMES is produced for Dennis Publishing

while stocks last

Local Labour councillor Steve Yorkshire Wolds over 150 miles

The Conspirasphere Extra! Extra!

will understand it, and even offers sunday/why-we-keep-dreaming-of-little-

the Large Hadron Collider on

Jesus, and taunted the lions to

off “within seconds”, depending SIDELINES...

spirits; if these fail, they move on concluded that precipitation was

as a “Hand of Glory”. it was

MUMMY WEARING ‘ADIDAS SHOES’

30 – surely the right city

THE GENESIS OF A VAMPIRIC GHOST A third element of

fortean follow-ups Further news updates on dog treks, attacks

CATTLE MUTILATION DOG TREKS [FT341:10-11]

Georgia. Harold Edge found one wilderness areas stretching from

102: too soon to tell

owner. PetLink, manufactures damage as the cat is somebody’s

ILLUsTRATIONs: HUNT EmERsON

It was an auspicious event that stunned

Whitman range. Belon claimed to have seen in embalmed

devotional structures whose design While freedom of worship is MARVIN MINSKY

people believe that you should die,

Fairies, Folkloreand Forteana

FLYING SORCERY PETER BROOKESMITH PRESENTS HIS REGULAR

THE OLD STUFF Kottmeyer, Peter Rogerson and Luis

in its own mud

as the company was stricken with misfortune.

genuine information and incorrect dates is

stayed the night and experienced some of

was that young Maria was “an unconscious

the Bourgogne in France. Here, in Interestingly, a pot hanging over

GREG BALFOUR EVANS / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO

account with The Ostrich. without being able to speak

on telly with the subtitle of ‘plumber’,

“Here”. Anglo-Saxon could communicate in 20th

MARIANNE GREGG URI

LYNNE ANITA DIETER

DON’T MISS OUT. LOG ONLINE

HAVE YOUR SAY

Social media, cyberspace and spirits...

about to see a live stream by the band

Ghosties and ghoulies and completely explicable little flying

low-lighty beasties his spirit guide, Sam. At this point the

Power to the King!

MichaeL RegaN / geTTy iMageS

chRiSToPheR FuRLoNg / geTTy iMageS