s3 - Launching With Personal Narrative

Launching with Personal
Narrative and Writer’s Notebook

Stage 3
1
What is an How can I
imaginative organise my
text? ideas? What do I
know about
imaginative
texts to plan
What is the my writing?
purpose of an Immersion
Planning
imaginative
text?
How can I
Personal Narrative convey the
heart of my
What will my Key Concepts story?
future writing
goals be?
Drafting
Publishing
What details
Revising and can I use to
Editing enhance my
writing?
How will I survey
my growth and What do I
success in What do I need to do
writing? need to do to to edit my
revise my work?
work?
2
Unit Overview: Outcomes: Links to the Literacy
Learning Progressions
This unit requires students to write personal EN3-2A composes, edits and presents well-structured and coherent texts Understanding texts
narratives that elaborate the tension or problem EN3-1A communicates effectively for a variety of audiences and (UnT8–UnT9)
and focus upon an important message or heart of purposes using increasingly challenging topics, ideas, issues and
the story. They are expected to use details language forms and features Creating texts (CrT8–
including dialogue, descriptions of actions, thought EN3-3A uses an integrated range of skills, strategies and knowledge to CrT10)
and feelings, use transition words and phrases to read, view and comprehend a wide range of texts in different media and
signal event order, and provide a sense of closure. technologies Grammar (GrA5)
Students will immerse themselves in age- EN3-5B discusses how language is used to achieve a widening range of
appropriate personal narrative mentors to discern purposes for a widening range of audiences and contexts
EN3-6B uses knowledge of sentence structure, grammar, punctuation Spelling (SpG14)
how these texts tend to go and to gather possible
story ideas from turning points within their life and vocabulary to respond to and compose clear and cohesive texts in
experiences. They will select their best work to different media and technologies Handwriting and
revise, edit and publish. EN3-7C thinks imaginatively, creatively, interpretively and critically about keyboarding (HWK7–
information and ideas and identifies connections between texts when HwK8)
responding to and composing texts
EN3-9E recognises, reflects on and assesses their strengths as a learner
Writing Lesson Scope and Sequence – Learning Intentions Links to other KLAs
Process
Immersion 1. I can use various strategies to gather meaningful ideas for my writer’s notebook ● Personal Collages (Creative Arts) –
2. I understand the definition and purpose of writing a personal narrative link to Smoky Night by Eve Bunting
3. I understand what makes a personal narrative effective
4. I can identify the structural features of a personal narrative  Work on Writing (WOW)
5. I can contribute to creating a whole-class ‘flash’ draft
Planning 6. I can identify and record a turning moment to start a story idea
7. I can identify and record a turning moment to start a story idea
8. I can plot my story line using a story mountain
Drafting / 9. I can write a flash draft, staying focused on the ‘movie in my mind’
Writing 10. I can step into my character’s shoes to retell my story
11. I can write from the point of view of the main character
12. I can create different leads to hook my readers
13. I can write an ending that connects to the heart of my story
14. I can add more detail to important parts of my story
15. I can add detail to my story with figurative language
16. I understand where to use new paragraphs
17. I can use transition words and phrases to tell my story in order
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Revising and18. I can rewrite parts of my draft using the ‘so what?’ strategy
Editing 19. I can assess my writing using a ‘narrative writing checklist’
20. I can review my writing to check I have included the three main parts and their elements
21. I can look at my story through different lenses to make improvements
22. I can use the CUPS checklist to edit my writing
23. I can use punctuation marks in my writing
Publishing 24. I can publish my story for sharing
25. I can share my story with others
26. I can use detailed thoughts and feelings in my writing
27. I can use mentor texts to develop similar techniques in my writing
28. I can self-reflect on my writing to set new writing goals
Pre-Assessment Task:
On demand pre-assessment (30 min) – students write a personal narrative on any topic of choice.
Post Assessment Task:

On demand post-assessment (30 min) - students write a personal narrative on any topic of choice.
Background knowledge:
It is the aim of this unit for students to have several flash drafts prior to lesson 11. This will give students an opportunity to choose one to focus their efforts on throughout the unit
and take through to the publishing stage. The other flash drafts they have created can be added to later in the unit if students wish. Once students have published their first piece
of writing, they are encouraged to repeat the process again and again right through from generating ideas to publishing on a more independent level, refining the skills they have
learnt throughout the unit.
There are various mentor texts discussed throughout the unit. Wonder by RJ Palacio is a quality mentor text that can be read to accompany this unit of work. It is only made
reference to on a few occasions during learning activities, but it is encouraged that it be discussed throughout the unit as it is a quality personal narrative that relates directly to
the unit. This should be read on a daily basis as part of the class ‘Read Aloud’ time.
Celebration: At the end of the unit it is encouraged that students share their stories and accomplishments from the unit. A whole Stage 3 sharing time could be established by
students sharing their stories in groups of 4-5 with students from other classes.
Many personal narratives by notable authors are published in anthologies. Teachers might consider photocopying each story 4-5 times and making 4-5 class anthologies that
students take home over the next few weeks in order to read each friend’s story.
Throughout the unit there is teacher’s scripts which are in italics to keep consistency for all classes. This serves as a ‘writing coach’ and can be aligned to the teachers teaching
style and the individual needs of the students.
Teachers must have regular writing conferences with students using Personal Narrative Conferring Log. This will allow teachers to track how students are progressing with their
writing and allow students to identify and work on future writing goals.
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Launching with Personal Narrative & Writer’s Workshop Stage 3
Key Concept 1: Immersion – Writing & Sharing Time Expectations
Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources R2R / WOW

Intention / Success Links
Teaching Point Criteria
Students will Modelled: Contribution and Ways We Live in Students
establish ● Discuss that we have a unique opportunity to focus on spectacular understanding of Our Notebook begin
writers’ stories that we have to tell and listen to those of others. writing and (class set) gathering
notebooks and ● During the time we have for writing, we must behave in a way that share time seeds in
use various respects all writers in the room. While writing time is in progress, let’s expectations Ways We Live writer’s
strategies to do so quietly so we can all concentrate. During Sharing notebook for
gather ideas in Guided: Completion of Time (class set) ideas and
a meaningful ● Start a discussion about the ways that writers must act during writing writer’s inspiration of
way and sharing time. notebook cover Personal for their
● Record this information on a collaborative anchor chart or refer to Narrative writing – they
Lesson Sequence 1
powerpoint. Powerpoint can be as

● Have students cut out and glue in notebooks ‘Ways We Live in Our creative as
Notebook’ and ‘Ways We Live During Sharing Time’ Writers they wish
Independent: Notebooks (look at
● Students personalise their writing notebooks, this will promote a sense examples on
of excitement and ownership. They may use technology to create book A3 paper (book Marge D
covers for their Writers Notebooks if they wish (A3 size). covers) website)
Share time:
● Students have the opportunity to share their personalised notebook Computers (if
covers. using)
Lesson Adjustments / Differentiation Registration and Evaluation
Vocabulary
Writers
notebooks,
gathering
seeds, share
time
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Key Concept 1: Immersion - What is a Personal Narrative? – Definition and Purpose
Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Intention / Success Writing
Teaching Point Criteria Links
Students will Modelled: Identifying their Mentor text: Students
understand the ● Discuss what is a personal narrative? (a true story about one time I did own writing goal Smoky Night by make a text-
purpose of something). Why do people read personal narratives? (to entertain and based on Eve Bunting to-text
personal share stories of our lives with others; to be entertained by others). Why mentor text connection –
narrative do people write personal narrative? (to make connections with others). Where else
● Read ‘Smoky Night’ by Eve Bunting. Discuss what the text is about? have you
Why do you think the author wrote this story? What connection did you seen an
have with the text? author doing
● Explain to students by reading lots of mentor texts like the one above the same
will teach us how to improve our writing. We will be exploring many thing as this
texts that will serve as mentors to us. author? Or
Writers Notebook where else
Guided: have you
Lesson Sequence 2
Various mentor seen xxxx?

● Introduce students to the concept of writers doing things on purpose. It
texts to examine
is ‘intentional’. Identify and discuss a feature or concept in the text that
the author has intentionally chosen. Allow students to share what they
think the author has included in the mentor text that is intentional.
Independent:
● Students ‘declare’ what they are going to try based on a mentor text.
They could set this as a writing goal. Writing it in their writers’ notebook
Share time:
● Students identify a feature in the mentor text that they are going to try
in their own writing.
Vocabulary
Mentor text,  Suitable peer sharing of a mentor text to guide less capable students
intentional, in choosing a feature.
personal
narrative,
writing goal,
text-to-text
connections
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Key Concept 1: Immersion - What is a Personal Narrative? – Characteristics

Students will (Make sure a few chapters of Wonder have been read to allow students to Students are Mentor text: From Mentor
gain an complete WOW activity) able to create a Smoky Night by text ‘Wonder’
understanding Modelled: list and Eve Bunting students list
on the ● Discuss what makes an effective personal narrative? Create a class definitions of the
characteristics anchor chart listing these characteristics (eg dialogue, transition words, characteristics characteristic
of what makes adjectives, using the 5 senses, strong leads) or refer to chart. used in personal R.J. Pallagio
an effective ● Read ‘The Memory String’ by Eve Bunting. Discuss any text narratives has used in
personal connections that students can make with text (Where else have you this personal
narrative seen this? Text-to-text, text-to-self, text-to-world). narrative.
Guided: Writer’s Giving
● After reading text above students turn to partner and share what Notebook examples
characteristics they were able to identify in the text. from the text.
Independent: Features of a
● In Writer’s Notebook, students list characteristics with definitions to Personal
incorporate into their Personal Narratives. This will act almost like a Narrative Anchor
checklist for students to refer back to, to make sure they have Chart
Lesson Sequence 3
incorporated these characteristics into their personal narratives.

Students can be creative in the set-up of this definitions page
(technology could also be incorporated e.g. Pic Collage)

Vocabulary
Characteristics,  Strategic pairing
dialogue,
transition words,
strong leads,
senses,
adjectives
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Key Concept 1: Immersion - What is a Personal Narrative? – Structure

Students will Modelled: Ability to identify Mentor text: Students
identify the ● Discuss the structure of a personal narrative. Read personal narrative the structure of Smoky Night by choose a
structure of a example. Model ‘boxing’ the three parts of the text. For example: box personal Eve Bunting seed idea
personal the introduction with a green box, the body with a blue box and the narrative and and plan
narrative ending with a red box. Explain the put in correct story based
importance of paragraphing, indentation, sequence on hand
transition words and line spacing in helping (hand
with structure. template
● Help students to ‘internalise’ the parts by Personal could be
linking it to their hands. Narrative used)
examples
Lesson Sequence 4
Guided: (approx. 8)
● In small groups of 3-4, students are
given a personal narrative to ‘box’ the 3 Personal
parts of their texts as demonstrated above. Narrative
They share this with the class. Powerpoint
Independent:
● Scavenger Hunt: Students are given Mashed Potato
‘Mashed Potato Pizza’ cut into paragraphs. Pizza (class set,
In their Writer’s Notebook, they paste the cut up)
text in the correct sequence along with the
correct label. Can check answers on Hand template
powerpoint

Vocabulary
8
Structure,  Small group teacher instruction for less capable students
introduction,  Strategic grouping
body, endings,
conclusion,
paragraphing,
transition words,
Key Concept 1: Immersion – Shared Class Flash Draft

Students help Modelled: Students create Writers Students
construct a ● As a class co-construct a ‘flash draft’ that will be revisited throughout their own flash Notebooks create their
Lesson Sequence 5
class ‘flash’ the unit and revised (making sure you have a whole class shared draft own flash
draft experience to refer to e.g. a walk around school, sport session). Writing template draft that was
Brainstorm the topic and construct as a class. This piece will serve as (for less planned in
a model. Therefore, it is not the intent to have this be a ‘polished’ competent previous
product, but rather a ‘rough’ draft that has missing elements. students) lesson
Intentionally, don’t create a finished piece. A ‘bare bones’ piece drafted
quickly in a short period of time is just fine.
Independent:
● In WOW, get students to write their own ‘flash draft’ – write quickly a
draft knowing they can go back later and make them better.
Vocabulary
Flash draft - Writing template for less competent/reluctant writers
Key Concept 2: Planning – Generating Ideas

Writer’s Modelled: Students gather https://youtu.be/A Gathering
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Generate story ● Watch video clip: Writing a Personal Narrative: Brainstorming a Story a minimum of 5 xInWagSaA0 - seed ideas
Sequence
ideas by for Kids TIME Writing a for turning

Lesson
thinking of ● Examine ‘Strategies for Collecting Personal Writing Ideas’ chart. Your ideas/seeds for Personal time
personal narratives will not only share something personal from your possible Narrative: moments.
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turning point life –it will also share something you realized or learned because of personal Brainstorming a Having at
moments that moment. You will use your new writer’s notebook to continue narrative topics. Story for Kids least one to
collecting ideas for personal narratives. choose from
● Today I want to teach you that writers generate story ideas by thinking each
of turning point moments. category
● To write powerful stories with feelings, we need to think about times in (first time,
our lives where we might have learned something or felt something. last time, the
Strategies for
● A strategy that helps uncover these moments in our lives is thinking time).
Collecting
about turning point moments. A turning point is a moment or point
Personal
where you realize something new or you realize you think about
Narrative Writing
something differently.
Ideas
● These moments might be easily found by thinking about the FIRST
TIME you did something or the LAST TIME you did something.
Sometimes, just thinking about A TIME in your life where you felt
powerful or you had a strong feeling, works too. A time when you
realized something important about life, yourself or someone else.
● I’m going to refer to our mentor text ‘Wonder’ the authors tell their
small moment bit by bit after thinking about THE TIME or THE FIRST
TIME (e.g. Auggie’s operations)
● Using personal experiences think aloud about TURNING POINTS in
your life generating ideas on THE FIRST TIME, THE LAST TIME and
THE TIME. Examples: The first time I taught 5th grade I was so
worried about helping kids learn all their important lessons. The first
time I felt like a golfer when I hit the green from the tee box. The last
time I visited my grandma in the hospital, talking all about my own life
– not realising it would be the last time I’d ever get to talk to her. The
last time I made the drive home from college as a graduate feeling
proud but scared about what I’d do next. The time I was so mad with
my son for making a mess in the kitchen, later realising he was only
trying to help make dinner…I felt awful.
● Writers do you notice how I not only thought of the TIMES, but I also
included feelings “worried and awful” or actions “talking, helping,
realising”. I could have just listed “Last time visited grandma.” But then
I wouldn’t have really uncovered anything important or powerful about
that time. Writing more words helps us uncover the importance.
● When I want to pick a topic for a personal narrative that will make a
powerful story, one that will have the structure of a story – a beginning,
middle and end and one that has something important to say – it often
helps to think about turning points in our lives. You have watched me
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give examples of turning points. A turning point is a moment or
point where you realize something new or you realize you think
about something differently. You can always brainstorm, first times,
last times and times when you realized something important about life,
yourself or someone else.
Guided:
 Turn and talk with partner discussing a turning point in your own life.
Independent:
● Brainstorm, turning points ideas as a class.
Vocabulary
Turning points, ● Suggested topic ideas
the time, last ● Strategic pairing where necessary
time, first time,
gathering
seeds, small
moments
Key Concept 2: Planning – Generating ideas continued

Writer’s Modelled: Students https://youtu.be/n Based on
Generate story ● After brainstorming TIME topics yesterday, we are now going to develop a BQ8dU0KPtg - comic strip
Lesson Sequence 7
ideas by choose a topic. sketch of events Writing a sketch,

thinking of ● Watch video clip: Writing a Personal Narrative: Planning & Pre-Writing for personal Personal students
turning point a Story for Kids narrative topic. Narrative: complete
moments ● Now I’m going to choose my TIME topic. I have my idea. Planning & Pre- another flash
● So to plan my idea I’m going to sketch. You’re going to use the comic Writing a Story draft
strip template to tell your story as well. I’m going to sketch bit-by-bit for Kids
telling the story of the first/last time. Each box will represent an event.
Plan to zoom into an intense part of that time - the moment with the
most feeling.
SKETCH
HERE Comic strips
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Writers
Notebooks
● Below the list show and think aloud as you sketch with labels and
details about this small moment. This is quick (one minute or less).
Labels should lead to adding more detail to the personal narrative
(Example: photos of my new house, photos of my wedding cake,
grandma smiling (I selfishly rambled about my wonderful life, while
grandma smiled on vs. me, grandma, bed, table etc…). When we go to
the sketch in comic strips, we often put words under the box or the
event. Starting it with a verb keeps them focused on events – walked in
grams room, shared stories, helped her to the … What happen first,
next, after that… they get a movie in their mind of each scene and a
quick sketch and a quick jot of the scene
● Watch how I do this. Notice that after I sketch, I try it out. I practice
how my story may go…here I could use my hand for the beginning,
event, event, event, end. The sketch is one way to rehearse; the story
hand is additional way to rehearse. I want you to have multiple
rehearsals before you draft.
Guided:
● Pick one of those ideas from your WOW yesterday. A time or two – a first
time you…a last time…a time you.
● Students tell you their idea before going back to their work area.
Independent:
● Students sketch and label those moments in a cartoon strip just like I
modelled. Remember these are times when you realized or learned
something about life, yourself or someone else.
Share time:
● Students have the opportunity to share their writing
Vocabulary
Turning points, ● Example comic strips for reluctant writers to refer to sketch their turning
the time, last point seed idea
time, first time,
gathering
seeds, zoom in,
sketch
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Key Concept 2: Planning – Story Mountains

Writers plot Modelled: Students create Mentor text: ‘Mr Students
storylines using ● Read ‘Mr Entwhistle’ from Hey World Here I Am! a story Entwhistle’ from create
story ● Discuss and create a story mountain/arc based on the mountain/arc Hey World Here I additional
mountains. character/narrator ‘Kate’ from ‘Mr Entwhistle’. Her want/ the based on a seed Am! story arcs
problem/tension and how the tension increases as the slope idea from a seed
increases, until the top – where the tension has escalated to the point idea
that Kate takes the note even though she really hasn’t done much to
deserve it – the resolution where Mr. E throws the note away and
Lesson Sequence 8
Kate takes her seat.

● Discuss ‘So What?’ in this story. The ‘So what?’ is the heart to your
story. It will remind you that you need to introduce your character and
setting in the beginning. It will help remind you that your plot,
scenes/events, needs to thicken as you move up the slope. It will help Story arc
remind you that there will be some resolution in the end – feelings, template (as
actions or dialogue that let the reader know the important idea of your reference)
story has some closure.
● Writers, I want to show you something using our “Mr. Entwhistle” story
arc. The parts we plotted were for the most part the characters’
actions, and dialogue. But as a writer of personal narrative, I need to
think about what is going on INSIDE of my MAIN character, too.
● Watch as I label Kate’s feelings or what I imagine she is feeling in that
scene right under the part I have already plotted. These details
become part of Kate’s internal story.
● Show students how you write the internal feelings for the MAIN
CHARACTER underneath the plotted point on the inside of the arc.
Kate’s feelings move from bewildered, stunned, angered,
understanding, acceptance, proud, relieved.
Mr Entwhistle
Guided:
Story arc
● Students turn and talk with partner about a seed idea (would be best example
to use sketched story idea rather than starting with a new idea),
plotting their ideas in a story mountain as they write in the air to their
partner.
Independent:
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● Students open writer’s notebook and create a story mountain across 2
pages based on this seed idea they discussed with partners.
● Remember to include the heart of your story as the story’s message.
Share time:
● In a writing group of 4-5 students share your arcs. You can help each
other by listening and reacting…partners can certainly give an opinion if
you ask them to.
● These arcs are like maps. They will help you draft tomorrow. You will
follow your story arc and use it to stay focused as you draft your story.
Vocabulary
Story arc, story ● Story arc template
mountain, heart ● Small group teacher instruction for less capable students
of the story,
plot, storyline,
narrator
Key Concept 3: Drafting – Flash Draft

Writers write Modelled: A flash draft Writer’s Continue
fast to stay ● Students start a new flash draft, choosing a story arc from their WOW to based on story Notebook writing flash
focused on the guide their writing. arc draft. Making
Lesson Sequence 9
movie in their ● Today you will write fast or what writers call a flash draft - even better Completed sure to refer
minds. than you have before. You will make the movie of your story in your mind, individual story to story arc
remembering your rehearsals, remembering all that you know writers do, arc from previous and heart of
remembering all you know that goes into writing a true story! lesson the story.
● There are a few things that will help you make this seed idea grow
today…List across your fingers:
● You are quiet and really focused on the movie in your mind
● You pay attention to the part of your story that tugs at your heart and
mind. Look at your story arc to help you.
● You watch and listen in each scene to try to imagine all that you can
● You write, write, write
Guided:
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● Ask students to share one seed idea that they are going to grow before
going back to work area.
Independent:
● Students start to grow one seed idea from a story arc in previous
lesson to write a flash draft.
Share time:
● In small groups of 4-5 some students can read their flash drafts to their
group. As a listener, students are really going to try and put
themselves in the tory.
Vocabulary
Story arc, flash ● Additional thinking time for reluctant writers
draft, events, ● Prompts for writing ideas
heart of the ● Narrative writing template
story
Key Concept 3: Drafting – Stepping into Character’s Shoes

Writer’s step Modelled: Students Mentor text: ‘Mrs Create
into the ● Writers, over this next week you will be trying out lots of story ideas in demonstrate the Buell’ from Hey another flash
Lesson Sequence 10
character’s your writer’s notebooks. We are “testing” them out to see which ones ability to tell a World Here I Am! draft based
shoes to re- you might want to take to publication. I encourage you to go through story as it on a time
experience a these steps over and over again: 1. Generate ideas/gather entries, 2. unfolds in detail where strong
story as it Rehearse-self, partner, hand…3. Plan, picture, plan 4. Flash draft. – by putting feelings were
unfolds create anchor chart of this for students to refer back to. themselves back experienced,
● So as you think about these steps, I want to show you how writers’ into the putting
step into the character’s shoes to re-experience a story as it unfolds. character’s themselves
● We are going to do this now in ‘Mrs Buell’ from Hey World Here I Am! shoes back in that
We are going to step into the shoes of Katherine. (themselves) Writers time (the
● Read ‘Mrs Buell’ from Hey World Here I Am! Notebooks character’s
● Discuss how the author, Jean Little, was able to create the story as if shoes)
we were in the shoes of Katherine.
Guided:
15
● As writers, you need to live in your character’s shoes as you draft your
stories.
● Watch and listen as I do this work and then you will be able to try it.
● Teacher could use this example by writing in the air:
● Let me close my eyes and step into my character shoes…I’m the
character so I need to step back into my shoes in that moment. Let me
see all the details in that moment.
● EXAMPLE: Ok I see it now, the empty hallway leading to my
grandma’s room. A nurse passing me with a tiny turned up smile as I
squinted to see the room numbers. It was warm that April day, really
sunny, I could see the sun bouncing off the walls in my grandma’s
room. I see it. I’m there. … Teacher example should follow:
o It was an unusually warm and sunny day for a Michigan April. I
hurried through the parking lot, through sliding doors, up elevators,
down big and small halls, stepping softly as I made my way to
grandma’s room. Squinting to see the tiny room numbers in the
long empty hall, a nurse passed me with a tiny turned up smile
which made me smile back. I could hear laughter from a room
close-by and my grandma’s voice as I stopped in the open
doorway.
● Writers, do you see how I have put myself back inside that story, back
inside the character’s shoes, to re-experience the details of that moment
as it unfolds (warm day, parking lot, halls, passing nurse, the turned-up
smile) so I could STORY-TELL it or SHOW it instead of just tell it?
Guided:
● Students now share their story with a partner by putting themselves back
inside those shoes, in that moment to Story-tell or unfold and show their
partner their story.
Independent:
● Writers continue to gather seeds based on strong feelings they had
from experiences to add to their topic ideas for future flash drafts. They
will choose one idea to create a flash draft in WOW time.
Share time:
● Students share topic ideas based on strong feelings they experienced
at that time.
Vocabulary
16
Flash draft,  Strategic pairing
character’s
shoes, details,
experiences,
story-tell
Key Concept 3: Drafting – The Character’s Point of View

Writers keep the Modelled: Students write Personal Continue
perspective of ● It is so important that as you write your personal narrative that you hold with character’s Narrative with flash
the narrator by onto the stance that you are the main character. You are stepping into point of view PowerPoint draft, strong
looking through those shoes - your shoes from your story idea. throughout draft emphasis on
the eyes of the ● Today I want to show you that writers keep the perspective of the character’s
main character narrator by looking through the eyes of the main character. point of view
Lesson Sequence 11
● The term that people use for telling a story from the narrator’s eyes being
is called point of view. maintained
● Your personal narrative story must hold your point of view throughout from
the beginning, middle and end. beginning to
● Read example (on ppt): I was tired, so I went upstairs to my room end
to take a nap. There was a knock on the door. My brother
answered the door. It was my friend, Paul. He wanted to know if I
could go outside and play.
● As you listen to this story, you may think it is moving along perfectly
fine…but it really isn’t. It has lost the perspective of the narrator. We
know the narrator is the character “I”- who was tired and went upstairs
to take a nap…so how does he know who was at the door and what
they wanted? The point of view is no longer that of the narrator.
● Read PowerPoint: I was tired, so I went upstairs to take a nap. As
I tried to close my eyes and quiet my mind, I heard a knocking at
the front door. I wondered who it could be. I heard footsteps
moving across the hall to the front of the house, my dog barking
and the door squeaking open. I barely heard my brother say, “Hi
Paul. Jared came home really tired and decided to take a nap.
Sorry he can’t play.”
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● Writers, do you see how this second story is really the same as the first
story, BUT the second story is written through the eyes (and ears) of
the narrator. It elaborates on what is happening to the main character.
Let’s look specifically at what the author did differently in the second
example. Discuss use of dialogue, internal thinking, etc.
Guided:
● Let’s try this with a different story.
● As I read, and show you the story, if you believe the story is through the
eyes of the narrator, show me a thumbs up. If you feel the story loses its
perspective show me a thumbs down. Each sentence should seem as if
it is happening right now. Think about how the writer made a movie in
his/her mind and wrote bit by bit.
● Show and read the story stopping after each sentence to see a thumb up
or thumb down. Check in with each sentence asking, “Is that part from
the perspective/point of view of the narrator?”
● Read PowerPoint: I sat on my sled, by the tree, at the top of the snow
mound. My sister, Shelley, waited at the bottom. I could see her
waving her hand in my direction, motioning for me to get going. I
thought, “It’s such a long way down”. In an instant, a bit scared but
excited too, I lifted both legs into the sled and pushed with my
hands to nudge myself away from the tree and onto the slope. At
first my sled seemed slow. I shoved and pushed off the ground a bit
more with my hands. My speed picked up and I was gliding past
trees and felt the cold wind in my face. I was now a rocket! My sister
was thinking I was the fastest sled on the mountain!
● Writers, what do you think about this last sentence? Reread. Is it
possible for the narrator to know what her sister is thinking? Is this last
sentence from the point of view of the narrator, the main character?
● Turn and talk about what you think about this last sentence. Students
should be sharing that it is impossible for the person sledding to know
what their sister is thinking.
● Read Growing Pains from Hey World Here I Am!
● Discuss Kate’s perspective throughout the piece.
Independent:
● Students continue on with draft from previous lesson focussing on
perspective, emphasising that their perspective (the main character) is
maintained throughout the story.
Share time:
18
● Students share their flash drafts (with emphasis on character’s point of
view being maintained).

Vocabulary
Point of view, ● Students with teacher assistance use highlighter to highlight where they
perspective, experience strong emotion in their flash draft.
narrator, flash
draft
Key Concept 3: Drafting - Introductions

Writers craft Modelled: Ability to craft a Writing a Write a
leads that hook ● Discuss that writers craft leads to capture a reader’s attention, so they lead that hooks Personal different
Lesson Sequence 12
readers and will want to read further into a piece. the reader Narrative: Writing introduction
connect to the ● Watch video clip: Writing a Personal Narrative: Writing an Introduction an Introduction for flash
story’s ● Stories can start in different ways. draft, starting
importance. ● Let me show you how the authors of some of these mentor text used with dialogue
leads to hook the reader and connect to the story’s importance. or setting, etc
● In “Mr. Entwhistle” the author begins with a detailed description of Mr.
Entwhistle. If we read like writers, we can guess that the author does Mentor text:
this to show a picture of Mr., Entwhistle “Big shoulders…mean mouth”, https://www.yout
“step on them hard” As a reader you are thinking of Mr. Entwhistle as a ube.com/watch?v
real tough guy…maybe even a bully of a substitute. The lead hooks us =ltvBXIVzLrQ –
by sharing details about the character, and shows us the setting is The House on
school, this connects to the story’s heart doesn’t it…because in the Mango Street
end, Mr. Entwhistle isn’t a big, tough guy? It also connects to the
story’s message – that people aren’t always as they first appear.
● Listen to first few minutes of: The House on Mango Street.
● This lead hooks the reader by introducing the storyline by listing all the
places this character has moved throughout her childhood. As a
reader, I say, wow…this character has hadto move a lot…the lead also
establishes the setting…the author’s house on Mango Street and gives
details about the character…wishing for a place that she’s proud to call
19
her home...It certainly introduces the character…” Mama, Papa,
Carlos, Kiki, my sister Nenny and me.” This lead is also connected to
the heart of the story, isn’t it? This character is longing…wishing for a
place that she’s proud to call home…a home that isn’t temporary.
● Writers, when we take the time to introduce our character, establish
our setting and give details, actions or dialogue we begin to craft leads.
● We also need to write our leads in ways that are interesting and hook
our readers- that’s where your Detail Hand will be helpful. Maybe you
will start with dialogue, or maybe you will put yourself right into the
action, or maybe you will use a lengthy description or a feeling – or a
combination of these details.
Mentor Text: ‘The
● Read ‘The Memory String’ by Eve Bunting to showcase other leads
Memory String’
from an alternate text. Discuss how you were hooked as a reader.
by Eve Bunting
● On anchor chart write – 1. LEADS hook the reader 2. INTRODUCE the
Storyline and there are different ways to craft a lead using sample
resource.
Guided:
● With partner, students share with them a lead they have tried and talk
to them about something they are going to try today in revising their
lead/introduction based on a mentor text.
Independent:
● Today I want you to spend your writing time trying different ways to
lead your stories - remember how we talked about in order to get good Anchor chart –
at something we need to practice. In order to improve at crafting leads, LEADS
we should write lots of them and in different ways. You may really like
your dialogue lead but once you try starting your story with a setting Detail Hand
lead you may like that one too.
● Writers don’t just do one of something and say, ‘I’m done,’ writers’
experiment and practice with different things.
● I will leave our chart visible and all the mentor text available…you may
want to spend a little more time with our chart or mentors as you craft
different leads in your writer’s notebook.
Share Time:
● Teacher stops class to show evidence of students improved
introductions/leads.
Vocabulary
20
Introductions,  Scaffolding for students requiring support
leads, detail  Talk to text app
hand, mentor  Specifically chosen mentor text for less capable students
text
Key Concept 3: Drafting - Conclusions

Writers craft Modelled: Ability to craft an https://youtu.be/ Write or
endings and ● The ending of a story needs to leave readers with the feelings and ending that GJMQWNd1TT8 improve on a
connect to the ideas that the character has made sense of something…that the story connects to the - Personal different
story’s was told for a purpose…. this is really tricky work. heart of the Narrative ending for a
message. ● Watch video clip: Personal Narrative Endings. story Endings flash draft
● It’s important an ending connects to the main part of the story.
● I’m going to read just the end of “Mr. Entwhistle”. Think about the
Lesson Sequence 13
words Jean Little uses here…what did the character say, do or realize
that came from what happened in the story? (Kate really wants Mr.
Entwhistle to realize he has made a bit of a mistake. In the end, Jean Detail hand
little connects her ending to this want by showing us that Mr.
Entwhistle backs down, without Kate creating a scene and because of
that Kate feels, “taller” or proud, we’d infer. In the end, we see that
Kate and Mr. Entwhistle, have realized something…that people can
surprise us with their graciousness).
● In personal narratives, endings will always connect to the story’s heart
or real message. And one place we might look to begin the end is
thinking about – something the character said, did or realized at the
end that is connected to the story.
● Endings are also as important as our beginnings. They work very much
the same way as our introductions. Endings
● Consider these two things when creating an ending:
A. What is most important in this story? My ending needs to reflect that.
B. What will the character say, do or realize?
Guided:
● Students turn and talk to partner to write in the air an ending to their
personal narrative that connects to the heart of their story.
Independent:
21
● Practice writing endings for your draft. You will want to pull out your Mentor text: Mr
writer’s notebook and try writing an ending and then another and then Entwhistle from
possibly another. As you write, hold in your head that your job is to Here World Here
think about the message of your story and what your character will do, I Am!
say or realize that came from the story.
● Your Detail Hand will certainly help you think about the details you can
use to craft different endings – but they must connect to the heart of
your story.
● Remind students of chart for crafting endings.
Share Time:
● Writers, I’d like you to meet with your partner for just a few minutes to
share the work you have been doing to craft an ending. Personal
Narrative
Powerpoint
Vocabulary
Endings,  Talk to text app
conclusion,  Strategic pairing
connections,  Specifically chosen texts for less capable students to refer to
write in the air,
infer
Key Concept 3: Drafting – Zooming in (Details)

Writers Modelled: Ability to identify Enlarged and Using loose
elaborate the ● Today I want to teach you that writers elaborate the important parts of parts of their copied “Mr. leaf paper
important parts their story to focus attention on important scenes. story that need Entwhistle” (ppt) students try
of their stories ● Some parts of your story you’ll decide should go by quickly and some further out
Lesson Sequence 14
to focus parts should linger, and take up more space on the page because you elaboration and elaborated
attention on want readers to focus their attention on that part…because that part – parts that they scenes and
those scenes. where you have slowed down the pace of your details is actually more can drive by parts that
important than the part you just decided to drive by at a fast pace. they can cut
● Read and examine enlarged copy of “Mr. Entwhistle” (PowerPoint) and tape
● In Mr. Enwhistle, the author has crafted this story with quick summaries into their
and then bit-by-bit detail storytelling and you can do the same with your favourite
writing. draft as well
22
● Let’s think of elaboration here as EXPANDING DETAILS or ADDING Strategies for as parts that
DETAILS. Elaborating Parts need to be
● When I think about our mentor text, “Mr. Entwhistle” I can point out the Chart sped up
parts where Jean Little just drove by quickly and the parts where she
slowed down and showed every detail.
● Turn and talk with your partner pointing out a part that went by quickly
and a part that really lingered with lots of details, in “Mr. Entwhistle”
● Writers, I heard partners say that Jean Little just flew by the part about
Kate helping Sandra with her homework. It was just one sentence. I heard
another partnership say that Little spent a medium amount of time driving
by with her description of Mr. Entwhistle…they were saying that it was a
pretty detailed description of him so maybe Little was driving at a medium
speed for that part…they were even counting how many sentences Little
had used. And then I heard many partnerships talking about how slowly
Little drives by all the details of Mr. Entwhistle standing beside Kate and
Kate trying to figure out why she is in trouble.
● This is where Jean Little is being a storyteller!
● Jean Little forces us as readers to focus on the part between Kate and
Mr. Entwhistle by taking her time to capture every thought, every feeling,
every action, and bit of dialogue that is seen or felt through the eyes of
the character/narrator. This part had lots of details, details, details. In the
end – she quickly drives by the note being ripped and thrown away and
Kate taking her seat.
● Let’s jot down strategies for elaborating the important parts. (See
Strategies for Elaborating Important Parts)
● Explain to students that as writers the heart of your story will likely have
lots of details.
Guided:
● Using class draft, examine the text circling parts that we can drive by
quickly or summarise with a sentence or two. Which parts might need a
medium speed –with possibly a paragraph like the description of a
character or place –if they are important….and then which scene or event
seems to be the most important and related to the heart or message of
your story where you will need to story tell?
Independent:
● Using previous individual flash draft, students circle a part on their draft
where they know they need to go slow. Asking themselves the question
‘Where do you want readers to spend the most time within your story?’
Share time:
23
● Students read a section of their draft that they have zoomed in on to add
more detail.

Vocabulary
Elaborate, ● Small group teacher instruction for less capable students by reading
scene, heart of students flash draft and highlight sections that need further detail for
the story, student to go back and elaborate on. Then brainstorm together adjectives
message, for the important event that needs more detail in their story
details, zoom in
Key Concept 3: Drafting - Literary Devices

Writers include Independent: Ability to use Mentor Text: Students
figurative  Read Mentor Text: Eleven, enlarged on PowerPoint. figurative Eleven by create
language to ● Sometimes authors play with words in ways that we don’t when we are language in Sandra Cisneros similes and
add detail to just talking to each other. writing (ppt) metaphors
their stories ● For example, your friend might tell you that they are having a really great (or other
day or that they are really excited about something, but they probably figurative
don’t say, “I’m as excited as five forgotten goldfish finally getting their fish language
flakes.” We just typically don’t speak to each other in what is known as techniques)
Figurative Language. Sometimes we might… like when we say, “I’m so that can be
hungry I could eat a whale” or “It rained cats and dogs!” But writers use added to
this figurative language…words that create a picture in our minds…all draft
Lesson Sequence 15
the time.
● Let’s look down at the fifth paragraph in “Eleven.”
● Read for a minute or two and see if you can find where Cisneros plays
Figurative
with language…uses figurative language…words that create an image in
language poster
our minds.
and examples
● Point out “Only today I wish I didn’t only have eleven years rattling inside
of me like pennies in a tin Band-Aid box.”
● Talk about how Rachael really doesn’t have pennies rattling inside of
her…but if we picture that image of a piggy-bank only filled with eleven
pennies we really understand how empty she feels. (Explain to students’
what pennies are due to American term).
24
● She could have said she felt like a little kid…but we wouldn’t have that
empty image, then would we?
● List and examine examples of figurative language (similes,
metaphors, personification, onomatopoeia, hyperbole, idioms)
● Plan to craft figurative language into the teacher draft to show writers
how easily one can think of an image that shows how they are thinking,
feeling or acting. Think aloud as you add figurative language into the
teacher draft.
● Encourage writers to think about a feeling, thought or action from their
own stories that may need figurative language to help give readers a
powerful image of that idea.
Guided:
● With drafts in front of them, students can turn and talk with partner about
a part in their personal narrative where they are going to use figurative
language.
Independent:
 Students read through draft identifying and adding in figurative
language in appropriate sections.
Vocabulary
Literary devices,  Strategic grouping with teacher to scaffold and include figurative
metaphors, language in writing for less competent writers
similes, ,
personification,
onomatopoeia,
hyperbole,
idioms
Key Concept 4: Drafting - Paragraphs

Writer’s identify Modelled: Ability to identify When to Make a Continue
where to use ● Sometimes when we are so focused on writing, we forget other things we where a new New Paragraph writing draft
Sequence 16
new paragraphs know how to do – like paragraph. paragraph takes to Show – chart and revising
in their writing ● Paragraphs are important because they give a reader a little space to see places for
Lesson
the movie in their mind. Writers Notebook paragraphs
25
● Examine and discuss chart - “When to Make a New Paragraph to Show”. Mentor text:
Students can be given a copy to glue into their Writer’s Notebook for Tomas and the
future reference. Library Lady by
● Read mentor text: Tomas and the Library Lady by Pat Mora. Pat Mora
● Examining and discussing where paragraphs are used. (Paragraph
symbol [ )
Guided:
● Using class flash draft, use the paragraph sign to show where you would
add any paragraphs.
Independent:
● Reread and work through your drafts and revisions, using the paragraph
symbol to signify where you would create a new paragraph.
● I will be holding conferences and small groups around this work.
Share time:
● Students share revisions made to drafts.
Vocabulary
Paragraphs, ● Small group teacher instruction for less capable students
revising,
conferencing
Key Concept 3: Drafting – Transition Words

Writers tell their Modelled: Ability to https://youtu.be/5 Students
stories in order ● Today, I want to teach you how writers help their readers understand their improve drafts Y_fxQ_52pk - read their
by using stories by using transition words or phrases to link their ideas together through Writing a draft to a
transition words and to help make sure their stories go in order. One way we can do this is transition words personal writing
Lesson Sequence 17
and phrases by adding transition words or phrases. This helps paragraphs and and phrases narrative: Writing partner. Their
sentences flow together smoothly, making them easier to read. a draft partner
● A transition may be defined as, “a word, phrase, or sentence that listens to
smoothly connects parts of writing together.” identify and
● Sometimes, just little words can connect our paragraphs or sentences. name the
Words such as: next, then, finally. However, there are other times we can transition
use phrases, such as: a little later, after that or in the end to keep our words/phrase
stories flowing together and going in order.
26
● These signal to the reader that the story is moving to the next event or An Angel for s their
time has passed. Solomon Singer partner used.
● Watch video clip: Writing a Personal Narrative: Writing a Draft – YouTube
● Discuss and list transition words from video clip. This can be added to
with transition words from mentor texts in guided section and future
lessons.
● I want to show how some of our mentor authors used transition words or
phrases to help make their stories easier to read. Let’s look and listen to a
portion of An Angel for Solomon Singer.
Guided:
● Brainstorm some of the transition words used in the text on an anchor
chart so we can use it to help sequence our own stories. Some examples Writers Notebook
are one evening” “for many, many nights” “each night”
● Writers, do you notice how the author used words and phrases like “In the
summer, one day, and now” to really help us understand the flow or
sequence of his/her story? We really had a sense of when things were
happening in this story.
Independent:
Writers as we go back to our writing, I want you to reread your pieces and
think about the order of your stories. Please find spots where you could add
some transition words or phrases to help your readers understand the
sequence of your story.
Share time:
● Share some student pieces that revised to add transition words and
phrases. Have students listen and name the transition words/phrases.
Vocabulary
Transition ● List of transition words to refer to
words and
phrases, link,
sequence
Key Concept 4: Revising & Editing – So what?

27
Writers rewrite Modelled: Ability to identify Personal Rewrite parts
to revise with ● Examine PowerPoint of ‘It had snowed all night and I couldn’t wait to ‘so what?’ parts Narrative of flash draft
the question, get to the sledding hill!’ to improve PowerPoint with ‘So
‘So what?’ in ● Then your teacher asked you to revise and so you went back to that writing what?’ in
mind. lead and reimagined it. You changed it. Once you revised it went like mind
this – ‘New snow had fallen all night while I was sleeping, not making a
sound, creating soft mounds and slopes – the perfect day for sledding’.
● Discuss how it is revised, it means exactly the same thing, but it
sounds better
Guided:
● Writers, right now, you are going to look back at your draft. You will revise
this story today. You will be thinking about making sure that you aren’t
just listing what you did first and next and finally…you will rewrite with this
question of “So, What?’ in mind. Your story should be something that
shows your reader something important – an important person, an
important time – a life lesson learned that is important. I want you to think
right now…as a writer…what is important about my story?
Lesson Sequence 18
● Turn and talk with a writing partner. Share your flash draft with them and
see if you can identify any ‘So what?’ parts that you can go back and
rewrite.
Independent:
● Ask yourself, ‘What is really important here?’ This is not easy. You will
need to be just as focused as yesterday. You will have to see your story
like a movie in your mind. You will have to see the scenes and write the
scenes but this time you might add details that support your story’s
importance or your answer to ‘So What?’.
Share time:
● Ask students to meet with partners to share their rewrites for their ‘so
what’ questions.
Vocabulary
So what?  Talk to text app
rewrite, revise  Scaffolding and discussion for students requiring support
Key Concept 4: Revising & Editing - Edit
28
Writer’s pause Modelled: Students can Personal After looking
to assess their ● As writer’s it’s important to set goals so we become better writers. Just begin to assess Narrative Writing at checklist
own growth and like sportsman/dancers/singers they all have a goal to improve so they their own writing Checklist students go
set new goals are better next time. based on back to draft
● Every once in a while, it’s important to stand back and look at what checklist and correct
you’ve been doing and ask, “How am I doing? How can I get even items that
better?” have a ‘NOT
● I copied for each of you a Narrative Writing checklist YET’ or
● Explain that the checklist is meant to give them a target for what the ‘STARTING
writing should look like and sound like for their grade level. TO’ marked
● We are going to use this, together, to assess our class draft. against it
● After we do this work together you will assess your own writing and
see how you are doing.
Class draft
Guided:
Lesson Sequence 19
● Writers, I just read our writing sample. Let’s just look at the Elaboration
section.
● Will you first read this part for fifth grade and then turn and talk to your
partner about what you are thinking as you compare what you have
read on the checklist with our Stage 3 written piece
Independent:
● Students pick one of their flash drafts and take a closer look at a
section of that story. Look at the checklist and give feedback on how
you are going so far.
● In order to checkmark YES! You need to be able to show me that you
have control of that target in each and every piece you have written.
STARTING TO would mean that you have found that target in some of
your work, but not all.
● NOT YET…means just what it says…you have NOT YET put that
target into your work.
● Also remember, some items on our checklist have not been taught yet
in minilessons. We might have talked about them within our Mentor
Text reading, but we have not had demonstrations on how to do all the
checklist asks us to think about as we write.
● Stopping today and asking, “How am I doing?” will help you focus in on
what you need to be thinking about as you continue to write your true
stories.
29
● I’d like you to think about these NOT YET and STARTING TO places
as possible new goals for your writing.
Share time:
● A confident student can read out their flash draft and share what they
have marked on the checklist. Students offer their opinions as to
whether they think it is accurate or not
Vocabulary
Checklists,  Strategic pairing
assess
Key Concept 4: Revising & Editing – Structure and Basic Elements

Writers revise Modelled: Students are https://youtu.be/H
by cross- ● Watch video clip: Writing a Personal Narrative: Revising able to revise, Lcjb0t6SRI -
checking for ● Today I want to show you how writers revise by cross-checking for checking for Writing a
structure and structure and basic elements of a text type. structure and Personal
basic elements ● Examine ‘Text Parts and Elements Anchor Chart’. Discussing that these elements to Narrative:
of a text type. features must be in our Personal Narratives. improve writing Revising
●One effective revision strategy is using the “Box It” and

“Mark It” activity. This will help us cross-check that we
have all three parts and the basic elements within each
part. If we find a part isn’t easy for our readers to find, Text Parts and
then we will revise to add this part or make changes, so Elements Anchor
Lesson Sequence 20
it is clearly denoted. We may need to check our Chart

paragraphing or spacing between parts. Likewise, if we
find that any of our basic elements are missing or not
clear, we will add or modify those too.
● Demonstrate with a teacher or student example.
A. Read it first for meaning and discuss.
B. “Box” the three parts using the three different colour writing utensils and
discuss how formatting and
paragraphing helped.
30
C. “Mark” the basic elements in the introduction and body paragraph #1. Use
either post-its or
write/label right on the text.
D. Demonstrate how you add or modify any part or element that is missing or
needs work.
Guided:
● Writing partners mark the elements of the text (intro, body, conclusion). If
you find any elements missing, please discuss what you might add and
how. If an element is not clear, discuss how you could revise to make it
clearer for readers (e.g. add a transition word and topic sentence such
as….)
Independent:
● Using ‘Characteristics of Personal Narrative’, that lists things writers may Characteristics of
include in their pieces, discuss and highlight some of those elements (e.g. Personal
details of action, dialogue, feelings; transition words, simile, etc.). Narratives
Students go on a “Scavenger Hunt” through their pieces and see if they
have evidence of any of those writing techniques and possibly multiple
places they have it included. Encourage them to add any item that may
be missing in their piece or to even add another example of it.
● Remember writers, the best writers take the time to revise – to re-see or
see again their pieces and make changes to improve them.
Share Time:
● Thumbs Up Activity - Do a thumbs Up if…. You had all three parts and
could easily identify them, you had a part missing, you had a lead, you
had to add a transition word, etc. Include both areas – items they already
had and items they needed to revise. It is important to show that is normal
to have things they found needed further work.
Vocabulary
Revise, cross-  Strategic pairing
checking,
elements, box it,
mark it,
characteristics,
scavenger hunt,
structure
Key Concept 4: Revising & Editing – Revise by looking through different lenses
31
Writers reread Modelled: Students Personal Revise
their stories to ● Student draft – Ask a confident student for the use of their piece to revise complete Narrative sections that
see their stories in front of class. Make sure to tell them how their piece will be used in the personal Checklist need to be
through different lesson and the benefit of this to the class and themselves. narrative improved on
lenses. ● Writers, once you reach the final pages of your story you might stand checklist,
back and say “Whew! I’m done!” But in reality…you have just finished identifying
your draft. There is still quite a bit of work to do. In fact, many writers shift sections to
between drafting and revising so that there is less to revise as they near revise and
Lesson Sequence 21
the end. No matter where we are in our stories today, we will reread our improve upon
stories again and again thinking about what needs tweaking, added or
deleted to really focus our ideas and highlight our craft.
Guided:
● Using student personal narrative, read through it, then using Personal
Narrative Checklist move through it, identifying features that are included
and what needs to be revised.
● Students could stop and ask partners to turn and talk about whether the
student has included the needed elements.
Independent:
● Students revise the flash draft they wish to publish using checklist.
Share time:
● Share a few student examples where writers were caught reading their
drafts and found places to revise.
Vocabulary
Revise, reread ● Meet with small groups of writers you know are reluctant to revise, to
reread and make improvements
Key Concept 4: Revising & Editing – Rereading narrative for different purposes

Writers edit their Modelled: Students Writing a Students
Sequence 22
stories by ● Today I want to show you how writers edit their story by rereading their successfully Personal gather
Lesson
rereading their story several times for different purposes. reread draft Narrative: Editing possible titles
stories several ● Watch video clip: Writing a Personal Narrative: Editing analysing for their
32
times for ● Discuss features of editing. whether they stories under
different ● I want us to look at our Narrative Writing Checklist – Language have met the set the heading
purposes. Conventions. For now, I have enlarged one on our screen. criteria and LIST OF
● Looking at our class personal narrative story we can read it and look for where they need TITLES FOR
and pay attention to the places that need editing. to make MY PN
Personal
● Watch how I do this using the checklist – Language Conventions and our adjustments to
Narrative
class draft. improve their
Checklist –
Guided: writing
Language
● Pull out your own draft and pick three items on the list to go through with Conventions
your writing partner.
Independent:
● Using Narrative Checklist– Language Conventions- students work
through, rereading drafts and checking the column where it says “me”.
Share Time:
● With writing partners, students reread their pieces to writing partner. Their
writing partner looks at each item on the rubric and identifies if they have
met the criteria in their partners draft.
CUPS checklist
(could be used
as an alternative)
Vocabulary
Edit, rereading,  CUPS checklist
purpose,  Strategic pairing
language  Talk to text app
conventions
Key Concept 4: Revising & Editing - Revise

Writers learn Modelled: Writers Notebook Working to
Sequence 23
the purpose of ● Whenever you want to learn a punctuation mark’s purpose you can look edit or
Lesson
varied to a mentor text to see the way in which that author used punctuation. working to
punctuation ● Today you will make a chart in your writers notebook like this.
33
marks by ● Demonstrate making a three-column table: Mentor text: uncover
studying Example What does it do Used in my writing Dandelions by more uses
mentors. ● ● ● Eve Bunting for
● You will use a mentor text that I will supply you with to find examples in. punctuation
When you find it, you will jot how it is used in the EXAMPLE column. Then marks based
you will reread it and think about what it does within that part of the text. on mentor
Third, you will try to use the punctuation in your own writing. texts and
● Demonstrate using a mentor text, locating a comma, writing the part from language
the mentor, thinking about what it does and then testing it with your own conventions
writing idea in mind. checklist
● Comma’s make you take a rest in a long sentence.
● Writers, I know that you learned that ending punctuation is a full stop,
question mark or exclamation. There is no need to find these marks and
test them out.
● I’d like you to pay special attention to commas today. And if you also
happen to find other punctuation marks like a hyphen (-) or parenthesis ()
or colon (:) or semi-colon (;) or ellipsis (…) then you can certainly stop
and think about that mark too. But really try to find as many commas as
you can and think about their usage.
Guided:
● Let’s inquire about one punctuation mark together. I will read a mentor
text: Dandelions by Eve Bunting (read as many pages as you see fit, can
be finished as a read aloud at a later date) and then stop when we notice
the comma. I’ll ask you to turn and talk so that we can fill in the chart I
started in our demonstration.
● Stop and ask students to think about what purpose each comma serves
to write on chart created at beginning of lesson.
Independent:
● Writers, I will set a timer today for your inquiry work. I will only give you
about 10 -15 mins. to spend studying mentors for their use of punctuation.
● Many of you may need to take what you have learned here today – that
writers look to mentors to see the way punctuation is used – by looking
back into your draft and doing some editing work of your own.
● You can use your Narrative Student Checklist – Language Conventions
section to help guide this work.
Share time:
● Have writers bring their inquiry charts to the share time.
● Ask partners to share with each other the information they learned from
studying mentors and their punctuation uses.
34
● End the partners meeting with summarising all that was uncovered by
looking to mentor authors.
● Remind writers that they can always look to mentor authors for their use
of punctuation.
Vocabulary
Mentor texts, ● Suitably pairing less competent students to examine mentor texts
editing, together
language ● Peer editing to assist less capable students
conventions,
punctuation
Key Concept 5: Publishing

Writers get Modelled: https://youtu.be/D
ready to share ● Watch video clip: Writing a Personal Narrative: Publishing _f-e4OhHU8
their published ● Explain to students that they will start to publish their personal Writing a
stories. narratives ready for sharing. This will be completed on special paper or Personal
on computers/laptops. Narrative –
● Students should use all the tools available to them to finalize their Publishing
piece – Narrative Writing Checklist, anchor charts, etc.
● If students will be rewriting, teachers can emphasise the need for neat
and readable handwriting.
Lesson Sequence 24
● Inform students they will be reading their story to a small group of

classmates. So they must be focused to complete their publishing in
preparation for this share time (this could even be done as a Stage at
an organised time).
Guided:
● Discuss what features students would like in their published piece
(could google published writing) and what they would like to
incorporate into their published piece.
Independent:
● Students are focused to start publishing their personal narratives.
Publishing may go over several lessons.
Share time:
35
● Students share their published pieces so far, examining creativity in
their published pieces.

Vocabulary
Publishing,
creativity
Key Concept 5: Publishing – Share Time

Writers Share time: Students publish Photocopy
celebrate by ● In groups of 4 or 5, students read and showcase their finished their writing students
sharing their published personal narrative to the rest of their group. published
personal ● Each group decides on one piece to share with the rest of the class pieces.
narratives and each group moves around to the other groups chosen personal Distribute to
narrative, taking in all that they have learned and seeing if the author of class so they
Lesson Sequence 25
the personal narratives they are reading have met that criteria. have a peer
writing piece,
giving them 2
stars and a
wish.
Vocabulary
Published,  Strategic grouping
showcasing, 2
stars and a wish
●
At this point in the unit students should have their first published piece. They will commence on their second published piece, taking this time only a few
days to plan, draft and publish. These two sessions aim to lift the level of writing beyond the first published personal narrative.
Key Concept 5: Publishing – 2nd Published piece incorporating exact details
36
Writers include Modelled: Students can Identify and
the exact details ● Today I want to teach you that writers include the exact details that add more detail add bit-by-bit
that caused a caused a thought or feeling. to improve their details to
thought or ● As writers we need to capture what happens with exact details that writing their draft
feeling caused us to think and feel. Not only that, we need to make sure we writing
show the reader what happens with precise details before we tell
them how we were thinking or feeling.
● Example: ‘I have a strong emotion every single time my dog Ellie
leaves our front door without a leash. I’m terribly afraid that she will
run into the forest that surrounds my home or run into the yard of the
two mean hunting dogs that belong to a neighbour. Either way, when
this happens my heart stops, I get terribly anxious or frantic about
getting a hold of her before either of these two things happen.’
● I share this story, because I want to show you that something
happens (Ellie goes out loose without a leash) that causes my strong
thoughts (losing Ellie) and emotions (anxious, frantic, nervous).
● I am now going to write in the air based on the strong emotions I
experienced from the example above: Example: ‘My boys and their
friends run in and out the front door (action) as I write (action) and
Ellie rests on the front rug (action). Ellie’s schnauzer ears straighten
and tilt the moment the door creaks and her head turns toward the
open door (Exact, precise details- actions). “Ellie, Stay”, I command,
Lesson Sequence 26
just before the door begins to close (Revealing dialogue). Ellie leaps
up and out (action). I’m too late (internal thought). Ellie is outside,
unleashed (moves time, shows start of tension). A jolt of terror
quickens my heart and my head immediately throbs (show-feelings). I
feel sick (feeling). My thoughts race as I jump from my chair to follow
her (action). She’ll head into the woods forever sniffing and running
until her un-leashed free-will is won over by exhaustion or the
woodland’s worst (thoughts). Or she’ll head to the hunting dogs, naïve
of their approach, awaiting an unknowing rabbit-like pooch, unleashed
(thoughts).
● Writers, do you see how I wrote the actions and dialogue that lead up
to my thoughts and feelings? The action and dialogue came
first…they were the precise reasons as to why I had the thoughts and
feelings.
37
● I tried to recall the exact sequence of actions and images – I tried to
put exactly what I was seeing in the movie in my mind before I had the
thought or feeling.
Guided:
● Writers, I want you to think about the new personal narrative you are
working on. Think of one feeling you hope your reader will have
having read your work.
● Picture the story unfolding and stop at a place where you know you
have a feeling about something.
● Show me a thumb up when you have found that feeling…
● Now, I want you to think about the exact details that occurred or
happened before you came to feel this way. What was happening that
caused your feeling. Play back that part bit-by-bit in your mind.
● Turn and tell your partner your bit-by-bit details and then let them in
on how you were feeling or thinking after those details. Making sure to
include feelings, actions, internal throughs and dialogue.
● Writers you only have a few days to finish your second personal
narratives. Think for a minute about where you are in your process
and what you need to do first today. You also need to keep reminding
yourself of all that you have learned and raise the level of your writing
with what you now know.
Independent:
● Continue to work on 2nd flash draft
Vocabulary
Precise details,  Talk to text app
feelings,  Strategic pairing
emotions,  Small group teacher instruction for less capable students
experiences,
actions,
dialogue,
internal
thoughts
Key Concept 5: - Publishing – 2nd published piece incorporating mentor’s techniques
38
Writers revise Modelled: Students Various mentor Continue
by studying ● Today I want us to be very aware that as writers no matter what we are examine mentor texts writing draft,
mentor’s craft to writing, we can always look to mentor writers to revise and develop our texts to identify adding
develop their own way of writing. We forever learn to write from other writers. techniques used techniques
own techniques ● Let’s look at a few things we’ve noticed about the writers we’ve been to include in from mentor
studying. their own writing texts where
● Show, notice and name (make up a name if necessary) author’s appropriate
techniques and help envision how the technique might fit in the shared
class story. Teachers are encouraged to read like writers and notice,
name and note for writers the techniques writers have used that, also,
fifth graders could also try. Examples (choose a few that make sense
for your readers):
● Hey World, Here I Am – “Mr. Entwhistle” – Page 25 Description of a
character external and internal traits, “Looking back…” flashback,
revealing dialogue that shows feelings, internal thoughts of the
character, transitional words and phrases to move short amount of
time, storytelling, elaborating the tension or problem, growing tension,
ending and beginning connected to the heart of the message.
● House on Mango Street “Our Good Day” – Beginning places reader
right into scene, repetition “five dollars”, close-up or zoom in details,
show details,
● House on Mango Street “Papa Who Wakes Up Tired in the Dark”– A
Lesson Sequence 27
turning point moment, beginning places reader right into the

scene/tension, show details description of papa, flash-forward ending
connected to heart of the story/message.
● Wonder – Auggie starting school, forming friendships, etc
● All mentors share a time when the author/character realized/learned
something about themselves or their life.
● This session is about quality not quantity. Plan to showcase a
technique and write in the air fitting it into your own draft as a
possibility to your revisions.
Guided:
 Talk with your partner and write in the air. Write using an author’s
technique.
Independent:
39
 Writers, over the next few days, I want to see you reading our mentor
texts and trying a technique we uncovered here today in our lesson or
practicing a technique you have uncovered and then fitting it into your
draft.
 We are fortunate writers…we get to learn from a world filled with
writers by reading and noticing their talents as writers. You can write
with the same talent, if you pay attention to their techniques and
practice.
Vocabulary
Techniques, ● Small group teacher instruction for less capable students, using a suitable
mentors, write mentor text
in the air
Key Concept 5: Publishing – Self-Reflection

Self- reflection Modelled: Student Student reflection
● Students reflect on how they have grown as writers. Using examine and for Personal
beginning of the year on-demand writing and first drafts to compare with their identify Narratives
published pieces. strengths in their
Guided: writing and Writer’s
● Students can meet with partners to talk about ways they’ve grown and future writing Notebook
Lesson Sequence 28
what they still need to work towards. Have students set goals for next goals
writing unit.
Independent:
● Students use ‘Student reflection for writing personal narrative sheet’
and write in Writers Notebook their next writing goal
Share time:
● Students share their writing goals and how they have improved over
the writing unit.
Vocabulary
Writing goals,  Small group teacher instruction for less capable students to help
self-reflection identify and record their writing goals
40

s3 - Launching With Personal Narrative

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Launching with Personal

Narrative and Writer’s Notebook

Post Assessment Task:

Key Concept 1: Immersion – Writing & Sharing Time Expectations

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources R2R / WOW

powerpoint. Powerpoint can be as

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Various mentor seen xxxx?

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

incorporated these characteristics into their personal narratives.

Lesson Adjustments / Differentiation Registration and Evaluation

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Lesson Adjustments / Differentiation Registration and Evaluation

Key Concept 1: Immersion – Shared Class Flash Draft

Key Concept 2: Planning – Generating Ideas

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

ideas by for Kids TIME Writing a for turning

Key Concept 2: Planning – Generating ideas continued

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

ideas by choose a topic. sketch of events Writing a sketch,

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Kate takes her seat.

Key Concept 3: Drafting – Flash Draft

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Key Concept 3: Drafting – Stepping into Character’s Shoes

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Key Concept 3: Drafting – The Character’s Point of View

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Lesson Adjustments / Differentiation Registration and Evaluation

Key Concept 3: Drafting - Introductions

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Key Concept 3: Drafting - Conclusions

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Key Concept 3: Drafting – Zooming in (Details)

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Lesson Adjustments / Differentiation Registration and Evaluation

Key Concept 3: Drafting - Literary Devices

Key Concept 4: Drafting - Paragraphs

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

the movie in their mind. Writers Notebook paragraphs

Key Concept 3: Drafting – Transition Words

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Key Concept 4: Revising & Editing – So what?

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Key Concept 4: Revising & Editing - Edit

Key Concept 4: Revising & Editing – Structure and Basic Elements

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

●One effective revision strategy is using the “Box It” and

it is clearly denoted. We may need to check our Chart

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Key Concept 4: Revising & Editing - Revise

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Key Concept 5: Publishing

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

● Inform students they will be reading their story to a small group of

Lesson Adjustments / Differentiation Registration and Evaluation

Key Concept 5: Publishing – Share Time

Learning Learning Activities Assessment / Resources Work On

Key Concept 5: - Publishing – 2nd published piece incorporating mentor’s techniques