Personality and Individual Differences 122 (2018) 19–28

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Personality and Individual Differences

journal homepage: www.elsevier.com/locate/paid

The challenge of starting and keeping a relationship: Prevalence rates and MARK
predictors of poor mating performance
Menelaos Apostolou⁎, Marios Shialos, Elli Kyrou, Artemis Demetriou, Anthi Papamichael
University of Nicosia, 46 Makedonitissas Ave., 1700 Nicosia, Cyprus

A R T I C L E I N F O A B S T R A C T

Keywords: There are reasons to believe that the mechanisms involved in mating, evolved in a context where marriages were
Mating performance arranged and male-male competition was strong. Thus, they may not work well in a post-industrial context,
Mismatch problem where mating is not regulated and where male-male competition is weak. As a consequence of the mismatch
Mate choice between ancestral and modern conditions, several individuals may face difficulties in the domain of mating. This
Parental choice
study aimed to estimate the prevalence rates of poor mating performance and to identify some of its predictors.
Mating
In particular, evidence from 1894 Greek and Greek-Cypriot participants from three independent studies, in-
dicated that about one in five individuals found intimate relationships difficult, about one in two experienced
difficulties in either starting or keeping a relationship, and about one in five experienced difficulties in both
starting and keeping a relationship. Moreover, it was found that sexual functioning, self-esteem, self-perceived
mate value, choosiness, personality, attention to looks, and mating effort were significant predictors of poor
mating performance. It was also found that men and women closely overlapped in their mating performance,
while age did not predict how well people do in the domain of mating.

1. Introduction performance. Its second goal is to employ an evolutionary theoretical

framework in order to derive testable hypotheses about the main factors
Humans are sexually reproducing species, which means that for that predict poor mating performance. We will discuss this framework
individuals to pass their genetic material to future generations, they first.
need to gain access to the reproductive capacity of the opposite sex.
Consequently, very strong selection pressures are exercised on people to 2. Poor mating performance
evolve adaptations that would enable them to gain such access. To put
it differently, those who lacked such adaptions would not be able to Success in the domain of mating involves being able to attract and
pass their genetic material to future generations, and so they would not retain mates (Buss, 2017b); accordingly, we can conceptualize mating
be anybody's ancestors (Buss, 2017b). This argument indicates that performance to depict how well people do in these domains. There are
most individuals are endowed with mechanisms or adaptations that several reasons that can impair the mating performance of an in-
make them effective in attracting and keeping mates. On this basis, it dividual. To begin with, individuals may have been endowed by se-
can be predicted that most men and women would do relatively well in lection forces with adaptations that would enable them to do well in the
the domain of mating. However, anecdotal evidence, as well as evi- domain of mating; yet, stochastic factors such as accidents and illnesses
dence from rates of singlehood and divorce suggests that this prediction may damage these adaptations, causing impaired performance. For
is unlikely to hold (Kennedy & Ruggles, 2014; Miller, 2011). instance, a car accident may result in disfigurement, and since good
Still, the extent to which people experience poor performance in the looks are highly valued in the mating market (Buss, 2017b), it can re-
domain of mating remains currently unknown. In particular, to our sult in poor mating performance. Health problems primarily affect older
knowledge, despite the strong academic interest in intimate relation- individuals who have usually solved the problem of reproduction. In
ships, there has not been any effort to measure how many people ex- addition, serious accidents that have considerable and permanent ne-
perience difficulties in mating, and the factors that predict such diffi- gative effects on individuals, are expected to be rare. Thus, these factors
culties. Accordingly, the first goal of this research is to attempt to possibly explain a small proportion of the variance in mating perfor-
estimate the prevalence rates of people who experience such poor mance.

⁎
Corresponding author.
E-mail address: m.apostolou@gmail.com (M. Apostolou).

http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.10.004
Received 29 August 2017; Received in revised form 3 October 2017; Accepted 4 October 2017
0191-8869/ © 2017 Elsevier Ltd. All rights reserved.
M. Apostolou et al. Personality and Individual Differences 122 (2018) 19–28

As all other adaptations, adaptations which enable an individual to societies exercise considerable influence over their children’ mate
have good mating performance, are coded by genes which are suscep- choices through manipulation (Apostolou, 2013), children are generally
tible to mutations. Mutations may impair these traits, and consequently free to choose their own mates.
the capacity of an individual to form intimate relationships Overall, the industrial revolution has resulted in major changes in
(Keller & Miller, 2006). Yet, harmful mutations are very rare (Palamara, the domain of mating. As the transition to post-industrialism was very
Francioli, Wilton, et al., 2015), so mutation rate would explain only a recent for major evolutionary change to occur, the mismatch problem is
small proportion of poor mating performance. Overall, health issues, likely to have affected several mechanisms involved in mating, re-
accidents and mutations may impair mating performance, but they are sulting in people experiencing poor performance in this domain
unlikely to explain why a large proportion of the population faces dif- (Apostolou, 2015a). The mechanisms which are more likely to have
ficulties in the domain of mating. It has been recently proposed that the been affected will be discussed next.
primary reason behind these difficulties is the mismatch between an-
cestral and modern conditions (Apostolou, 2015b); this hypothesis will 2.2. Predictors of poor mating performance
be examined next.
To begin with, mechanisms that regulate sexual functioning are
2.1. The mismatch problem likely to have been affected by the mismatch problem (Apostolou,
2015b, 2016b). To use one example, during a raid or war, it would be
Adaptations are mechanisms which have evolved to interact with more optimal for men to ejaculate soon after the initiation of inter-
the environment so as to produce fitness-increasing outcomes i.e., to course so as to avoid opening themselves to attacks. Accordingly, in an
increase the probability that the genes that code for them are re- ancestral pre-industrial context, alleles that predisposed for quick eja-
presented in future generations (Nettle, 2009). When the environment culation would experience positive selection and would be in a relative
changes, selection pressures are exercised on these mechanisms to high frequency in the population. Yet, ejaculating soon after the in-
adapt to the new environmental conditions, so as to be able to produce itiation of intercourse is not optimal for a free mate-choice context, as it
fitness-increasing outcomes. Nevertheless, the process of adapting to prevents men from providing adequate sexual satisfaction to their
novel environments can take several generations, which means that if partners (Apostolou, 2015b). As a consequence, ejaculation soon after
an environmental change is recent, evolved mechanisms may not have penetration is given the label “premature ejaculation” and it is con-
sufficient time to adjust to the new environment. Consequently, several sidered a dysfunction one out of five men suffers from (Lewis et al.,
adaptations may not produce a fitness-increasing response when in- 2004; Shifren, Monz, Russo, Segreti, & Johannes, 2008).
teracting with the environment, because it is novel and they have not Yet, most of the cases of premature ejaculation do not reflect gen-
adapted to it- the so called mismatch problem (Crawford, 1998; uine dysfunctions in the sense of a mechanism not working properly,
Maner & Kenrick, 2010). but instead, a mechanism working as it should for the environment in
Adaptations are domain-specific in the sense that they have evolved which it has evolved to function in. The mismatch between ancestral
to deal with a specific part of the environment (Barkow, and modern conditions turns such range of functioning problematic for
Cosmides, & Tooby, 1992). Thus, the mismatch problem would affect an modern conditions. On the basis of this reasoning, it has been argued
adaptation predominantly if its domain has been affected by the en- that several mechanisms involved in sexual functioning may have been
vironmental change; otherwise, the environmental change is expected affected by the mismatch problem, resulting in poor mating perfor-
to have little effect on it (Irons, 1998). It has been argued that the re- mance (Apostolou, 2015b). In this example, men who ejaculate soon
cent transition to post-industrialism has resulted in considerable after the initiation of intercourse would face difficulties in providing
changes in the mating domain, which in turn, have affected adaptions sexual satisfaction to their partners, and would experience as a con-
which are involved in mating (Apostolou, 2015a). sequence, poor mating performance.
In more detail, the genus Homo evolved on earth about two million Personality predicts many aspects of human interaction, including
years ago, and for most of this period our ancestors lived in a pre-in- intimate relationships (Buss & Hawley, 2011; Jonason, Garcia, Webster,
dustrial context, where they based their subsistence on hunting and Li, & Fisher, 2015). As personality traits have been shaped by selection
gathering and on agropastoralism (Bellwood, 2004; Lee & Devore, forces operating in ancestral environments, it can be the case that
1968). Anthropological and historical evidence indicates that in an- several personality dispositions impair the formation of intimate re-
cestral human societies mate choice was regulated, with parents lationships in contemporary environments. To use one example, traits
choosing spouses for their children, rather than children choosing such as introversion, can be disadvantageous where individuals have to
spouses for themselves (Apostolou, 2007, 2010, 2012; Broude & Green, find mates on their own, but would have had few or no negative
1983). In addition, there are good reasons to believe that male-male mating-related fitness consequences in an ancestral context, where
competition, where men monopolize access to women by fighting other marriage was the result of negotiations between families. In this re-
men, was also strong in ancestral human societies (Puts, 2010, 2016). spect, certain personality dispositions, that had no or that had little
Thus, in an ancestral context, people would predominantly find part- effect in the ancestral context, may lead to individuals being susceptible
ners through arranged marriage or through monopolizing them by to poor mating performance in the modern context (Apostolou, 2016a).
force, so the mechanisms involved in mating would have adapted to Related to personality, another mechanism which may not have
these conditions. been optimized for a free-mate choice context is self-esteem (Swann,
The Industrial Revolution, which began in the 18th century Britain 1996). More specifically, in a free-mate choice context, low self-esteem
(Baten, 2016), has resulted in most human societies transiting to post- may prevent people from actually pursuing mates, as they may feel
industrialism. In post-industrial societies, individuals do not form coa- unlikely to succeed, or they may choose mates of low mate value, as
litions to fight others in order to get their mates, and marriages are not they may feel that they are the only ones they can attract. Still, a re-
arranged, but people find mates on their own. In particular, in con- latively high self-esteem is not required in an arranged-marriage con-
temporary societies men form coalitions with other men, in order to text where individuals do not need to actively pursue partners who are
support them in their mating effort. For instance, a man could use the supplied by their parents. Accordingly, self-esteem may not have been
assistance of other men in spreading positive information about him in optimized for modern conditions, with many individuals experiencing
prospective mates (Pham, Barbaro, & Shackelford, 2015). Yet, such low self-esteem which can impair their mating performance.
coalitions work very differently from the male coalitions in pre-modern When exercising mate choice, individuals screen prospective mates
times, which involved predominantly physical force in order to fight for fitness-increasing traits. For instance, individuals are endowed with
other men and get their mates. Also, although parents in post-industrial mate preferences that enable them to prefer mates with fitness-

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M. Apostolou et al. Personality and Individual Differences 122 (2018) 19–28

increasing traits, such as high social status, and to avoid individuals personality dimensions associated with poor mating performance (H5).
with fitness-decreasing traits, such as poor health (Buss, 2017b). Also, attention to looks would be a significant predictor of mating
However, in an arranged-marriage context, much of the screening is performance, with little attention to be associated with poor mating
made by parents (Apostolou, 2014). Thus, because children would not performance (H6). Finally, mating effort would be a significant pre-
make the choosing, selection pressures exercised on the choosiness dictor of mating performance, with low mating effort to be associated
mechanisms have been relatively weak, allowing considerable variation with poor mating performance (H7). These hypotheses would be tested
in their range of functioning. As a consequence, several individuals may in three different studies.
not be choosy at all or may be very choosy, and may thus suffer from
poor mating performance. In the former case, they may attract in- 3. Study 1
appropriate mates, and in the latter case, they may not be able to attract
mates at all. The purpose of this study was to develop an instrument that would
In male-male competition, good looks are not a significant predictor measure mating performance, and to employ this instrument in order to
of mating success as sexual access is forced. Similarly, in an arranged estimate the prevalence rate of poor mating performance, as well as to
marriage context, the looks of a prospective in-law constitute a low test the hypothesis that sexual functioning would predict this perfor-
priority for parents (Apostolou, 2014). Therefore, in an ancestral pre- mance.
industrial context, where male-male competition and regulation of
mating were strong, being good looking was not a strong predictor of
3.1. Method
mating success. Thus, selection forces on mechanisms that motivated
people to pay attention to their appearance had been weak, resulting in
3.1.1. Participants
many individuals being predisposed to pay limited attention to their
The research was performed online, and was designed and executed
looks. Yet, such predispositions may not work well in a free-mate choice
at a private University in the Republic of Cyprus. We chose this method
context where good looks are much more important for individuals
because of the sensitive nature of the study (i.e., sexual functioning),
seeking mates than for their parents seeking in-laws (Apostolou, 2008;
since the probability of getting honest answers was higher this way
Perilloux, Fleischman, & Buss, 2011). Accordingly, individuals who do
(Kreuter, Presser, & Tourangeau, 2008). The study was in Greek and the
not pay sufficient attention to their looks may not do well in the mating
participants were Greeks and Greek-Cypriots. We employed different
market (Apostolou, 2015a).
approaches to recruit participants: 1) We posted the link of the study to
Moreover, finding a mate requires considerable effort, but in a
the official website and the Facebook page of the University, 2) we
context of arranged marriage, such effort is made by the parents and not
employed institutional mailing lists, 3) we contacted University aca-
by the children. Accordingly, mechanisms involved in motivating
demic and non-academic staff, 4) we asked post-graduate students re-
mating effort that have evolved in an arranged marriage context, may
gistered in psychology classes to forward the link of the study to their
not work well in a free-mate choice context. That is to say, several in-
relatives, friends and acquaintances, and to share also the link on their
dividuals may not be making the necessary effort to find mates on their
Facebook pages, 5) we asked academics in other universities in the
own, experiencing in effect poor mating performance (Apostolou,
Republic of Cyprus and in Greece to forward the study to their students
2015a).
and acquaintances.
In this study, 975 individuals (570 women and 405 men) took part.
2.3. Hypotheses to be tested The mean age of women was 28 years (SD = 6.3) and the mean age of
men was 30.9 years (SD = 8.7). In addition, 41.9% of the participants
On the basis of the above theoretical framework, several testable were single, 37.8% were in a relationship, 17.8% were married, and
hypotheses can be derived. To begin with, the considerable mismatch 2.6% were divorced. Finally, 85.2% of the participants indicated that
between ancestral and modern conditions in the domain of mating they were attracted exclusively to the opposite sex, 9.1% predominantly
would have resulted in a substantial proportion of individuals experi- to the opposite sex but occasionally to the same sex, 2.1% about equally
encing poor mating performance (H1). Furthermore, it can be hy- to both sexes, 0.9% to the same sex but occasionally to the opposite sex,
pothesized that sexual functioning would be a significant predictor of and 2.8% exclusively to the same sex.
mating performance. In particular, poor sexual functioning would be
associated with poor mating performance (H2). Moreover, self-esteem 3.1.2. Materials
would be a significant predictor of mating performance, with low self- The survey was constructed using Google forms, and consisted of
esteem being associated with poor mating performance (H3). three parts. In the first part, participants had to complete an instrument
In addition, choosiness would be a significant predictor of mating about their mating performance. In order to develop this instrument,
performance. More specifically, low and high choosiness would be as- we followed this procedure: One of the authors developed a longer
sociated with poor mating performance (H4). Furthermore, personality instrument with the purpose of measuring how well individuals per-
would be a significant predictor of mating performance, with specific formed in intimate relationships. Following consultation with scholars

Table 1
Mating performance across the three studies.

Study 1 Study 2 Study 3

1–2 3 4–5 1–2 3 4–5 1–2 3 4–5

I do well in romantic relationships. 24.2 35.4 40.4 17.9 38.4 43.7 23.9 39.9 36.2
I find romantic relationships difficult. 50.1 23.8 25.1 46.6 30.8 22.5 57.6 23.9 18.5
Some people are doing well with romantic relationships. They find partners easily and have no difficulty in keeping 45.6 27.8 26.6 44.3 30.5 25.2 43.7 28.9 27.5
a romantic relationship. This description characterizes me.
I find it easy to start a romantic relationship. 39.1 28.7 32.2 31.7 37.3 31 41.7 31.6 26.7
I find it easy to keep a romantic relationship. 30.2 34 35.8 24.4 34.4 41.3 33.4 35 31.6

Note. The numbers above reflect the percentages of participants' answers in each question of the instrument which employed the scale 1-strongly disagree, 5-strongly agree. The
percentages that indicate poor mating performance are in bold.

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M. Apostolou et al. Personality and Individual Differences 122 (2018) 19–28

who work in the domains of mating and psychometrics, as well as performance.

conducting a pilot study, the instrument reached its final form of five With respect to the number of steady relationships, multiple re-
questions, which are summarized in Table 1. Participants had to answer gression was performed, where the steady relationships variable was
each question using a five-point Likert scale: 1-strongly disagree, 5- entered as the dependent variable, and the mating performance and the
strongly agree. age were entered as the independent variables. The mating perfor-
In the second part, participants had to indicate their sex, and sub- mance was significant [t(845) = 4.38, p < 0.001] with a positive
sequently they were asked to answer questions about their sexual coefficient (b = 0.147), indicating that higher mating performance was
functioning. For the purposes of this study, we used the Changes in associated with more steady relationships in the past.
Sexual Functioning Questionnaire (CSFQ), which has been found to be a
valid and reliable measure of sexual functioning (Clayton, 4.2. Prevalence
McGarvey, & Clavet, 1997). The instrument provided a total score for
the general sexual functioning and also estimated scales about in- In order to examine the prevalence rates of individuals who ex-
dividual aspects on sexual functioning. perienced poor mating performance, for each question, we estimated
The subscales of the instrument were (a) Desire/Frequency, a scale the frequencies of participants' responses. The results are presented in
that assessed frequency of sexual acts, including intercourse and mas- Table 1. For the first two questions, we can see that about one in four
turbation, and the frequency of desire to participate in sexual activity; participants indicated to have difficulties in intimate relationships. For
(b) Desire/Interest, a scale that assessed interest and desire for sexual the third question, almost half of the participants indicated that they
experiences as expressed in the frequency of sexual thoughts or fanta- did not see themselves as being good at starting and keeping an in-
sies and feelings of enjoyment elicited by erotica; (c) Arousal/ timate relationship. In particular, about 39% of the participants in-
Excitement, a scale that assessed frequency of arousal, ease of arousal, dicated that they faced difficulties in starting a relationship and about
and adequate vaginal lubrication/erection during sexual activity; (d) 30% difficulties in keeping a relationship.
Orgasm/Completion, a scale that assessed one's ability to achieve or- For the last two questions (i.e., about keeping and starting a re-
gasm, including frequency of orgasms, ability to achieve orgasms when lationship), we estimated that 50.6% of the participants answered ei-
desired, and the degree of pleasure derived from orgasm, and (e) ther “1” or “2” in at least one of them. This finding suggested that about
Pleasure, a scale that assessed current enjoyment of sex life in com- one in two participants faced a difficulty in either starting or keeping a
parison with past enjoyment (Clayton et al., 1997). relationship. Moreover, 18.5% indicated “1” or “2” in both questions.
Higher scores in the total, as well as in the sub-scales indicated This finding suggested that about one in five individuals in the sample
better sexual functioning. The CSFQ came in two versions, one for experienced difficulties in starting, as well as in keeping an intimate
women's sexual functioning and one for men's sexual functioning, each relationship.
one consisting of 14 questions. Accordingly, if participants indicated
that they were women, they were given the female version, and if they 4.3. Contingencies
indicated that they were men, they were given the male version.
Finally, in the third part demographic information was recorded Although we did not have specific hypotheses, we wanted to ex-
including age, marital status, number of past steady relationships (1- amine whether there were sex, age and sexual orientation effects.
very few or none, 5-great many), and sexual orientation. Accordingly, we ran an ANCOVA, where the participants' mating per-
formance was entered as the dependent variable, and their sex, age and
4. Results sexual orientation were entered as the independent variables. There
were no significant effects of sex and age, but there was a significant
4.1. Mating performance instrument effect of sexual orientation [F(4,835) = 31.48, p = 0.001,
ηp2 = 0.022]. Post-hoc analysis using Bonferroni indicated that the
In order to examine whether our mating performance instrument only significant difference was between heterosexual orientation and
had an internal structure, we applied principal components method for heterosexual orientation with same-sex attraction, with participants
factor extraction and direct oblimin as the rotation method. The results belonging to the latter group giving lower scores than the ones be-
suggested a one factor solution (Eigenvalue > 1), and the KMO sta- longing to the former group.
tistic was 0.81, indicating a very good sample adequacy. The internal We repeated the same analysis twice, once for starting a relationship
consistency (Cronbach's alpha) was 0.79. and once for keeping a relationship. In both cases, the sex and the age
Our instrument appeared to have face validity; yet, we would like to did not come significant. The sexual orientation was significant only for
examine whether it had also criterion validity. More specifically, if our the “starting a relationship” scenario [F(4,835) = 2.96, p = 0.019,
instrument measured mating performance, it should predict marital ηp2 = 0.014], with post-hoc analysis indicating that the only significant
status and past relationships. In particular, higher scorers would be difference was between heterosexual orientation and heterosexual or-
more likely to be married or to be in a relationship, and would tend to ientation with same-sex attraction, with the latter having a lower mean
have had more steady relationships in the past than low scorers. than the former.
Starting from marital status, we ran a multinomial logistic regres-
sion, where the marital status was entered as the dependent variable 4.3.1. Sexual functioning-men
and the mating performance (i.e., participants' average score in the five A different version of the instrument was used in order to measure
questions) as the independent variable. In order to avoid any con- the sexual functioning of men and women (see above). Accordingly, we
founding effects, we also entered age as an independent variable. The ran the analysis separately for each sex. Starting from men, we ran a
mating performance was significant [χ2(3, N = 975) = 95.34, multiple regression, where the mating performance was entered as the
p < 0.001]. The Odds Ratios indicated that one unit increase in the dependent variable and the age and the total sexual functioning score
mating performance made it 2.97 times more likely to be married, 2.38 were entered as the independent variables. The sexual functioning
times more likely to be in a relationship and 2.48 times more likely to variable was significant [t(331) = 3.55, p < 0.001] with a positive
be divorced than being single. In the case of divorce, we would expect coefficient (0.027), suggesting that the better the sexual functioning,
that higher mating performance would be associated with a lower the higher the level of the mating performance was. We repeated this
likelihood of divorce. Nevertheless, it needs to be considered that analysis for starting and for keeping a relationship. For starting a re-
people need to get married first in order to be able to divorce, and in lationship, the sexual functioning was not significant, while for keeping
order to do so, they would need to have some good mating a relationship, it was significant [t(331) = 2.90, p = 0.004] with a

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M. Apostolou et al. Personality and Individual Differences 122 (2018) 19–28

positive coefficient (0.028). the survey. Upon completion, they put the questionnaire in an un-
In order to examine individual aspects of sexual functioning, we ran marked envelope and sealed it. In this study, 414 Greek-Cypriots par-
a multiple regression, where the mating performance was entered as the ticipated (236 women, 178 men). The mean age of women was 33.2
dependent variable and the age and the five aspects of sexual func- (SD = 13.4), and the mean age of men was 30.4 (SD = 10.6).
tioning were entered as the independent variables. Backward elimina- Moreover, 41.2% of the participants were single, 30.1% were in a re-
tion method was used, where non-significant variables were removed lationship, 25.7% were married, 2.9% were divorced and 1.2% were
from the model. The results indicated a significant effect of pleasure [t widowed.
(331) = 4.86, p < 0.001] with a positive coefficient (0.191), and a
significant effect of orgasm/ejaculation [t(331) = 2.11, p = 0.036], 5.1.2. Materials
also with a positive coefficient (0.060). The survey consisted of five parts. In the first part, participants were
We ran the analysis separately for starting and for keeping a re- given the mating performance instrument discussed in Study 1. In the
lationship. For starting a relationship, only the pleasure was significant second part, participants' self-esteem was measured using the
[t(331) = 3.84, p < 0.001] with a positive coefficient (0.206). For Rosenberg self-esteem scale which consisted of 10 items (Rosenberg,
keeping a relationship, the results indicated a significant effect of 1965). We would like to examine the effect of self-esteem keeping self-
pleasure [t(331) = 2.58, p = 0.010] with a positive coefficient (0.131), perceived mate value constant. More specifically, we expected that
and a significant effect of desire/frequency [t(331) = 2.48, p = 0.014] people who had a high mate value would have a high mating perfor-
also with a positive coefficient (0.101). mance, as well as a high self-esteem. In different words, the self-esteem
variable may also act as a proxy of mate value. To avoid this problem,
4.3.2. Sexual functioning-women in part three we measured self-perceived mate value using a four-item
Moving on to women, we ran a multiple regression, where the instrument (Edlund & Sagarin, 2014). In the fourth part, participants'
mating performance was entered as the dependent variable and the age choosiness was measured. For this purpose, we developed a three-item
and the total sexual functioning score were entered as the independent instrument using a procedure similar to the one we employed for de-
variables. The sexual functioning variable was significant [t(486) veloping the mating performance instrument in Study 1. The items of
= 6.73, p < 0.001] with a positive coefficient (0.033), suggesting that the instrument are reported in Appendix A.
the better the sexual function the higher the mating performance was. Finally, in the fifth part demographic information was collected
We repeated this analysis for starting and for keeping a relationship. For (i.e., sex, age, marital status). Please note that the order of presentation
starting a relationship, the sexual functioning was significant [t(486) of the first four parts was counterbalanced across participants.
= 4.88, p < 0.001] with a positive coefficient (0.034), while for
keeping a relationship it was also significant [t(486) = 4.79, 6. Results
p < 0.001] with a positive coefficient (0.030).
In order to examine individual aspects of sexual functioning, we ran 6.1. Prevalence
a multiple regression, where the mating performance was entered as the
dependent variable and the age and the five aspects of sexual func- In order to estimate the prevalence rates of poor mating perfor-
tioning were entered as the independent variables. Backward elimina- mance, we estimated the frequencies of participants' answers in the
tion method was used, where non-significant factors were removed mating performance instrument. The results were presented in Table 1,
from the model. The results indicated a significant effect of pleasure [t where we can see that about one in five participants indicated that they
(486) = 6.49, p < 0.001] with a positive coefficient (0.192), and a found intimate relationships difficult. Moreover, about 44% of the
significant effect of orgasm/completion [t(486) = 4.07, p < 0.001], participants indicated that they did not consider themselves to be good
also with a positive coefficient (0.065). at starting and keeping a relationship, with about one third indicating
We ran the analysis separately for starting and for keeping a re- that they found it difficult to start a relationship and about one fourth to
lationship. For starting a relationship, the pleasure was significant [t keep a relationship. In addition, we estimated that 44.7% of the par-
(486) = 3.52, p < 0.001] with a positive coefficient (0.156), and the ticipants answered “1” or “2” in at least one of the two questions about
arousal/excitement was also significant [t(486) = 2.51, p = 0.013] starting and keeping a relationship. Finally, 11.5% answered “1” or “2”
with a positive coefficient (0.060). For keeping a relationship, the re- in both questions.
sults indicated a significant effect of pleasure [t(486) = 4.56,
p < 0.001] with a positive coefficient (0.175), and a significant effect 6.2. Contingencies
of orgasm/completion [t(486) = 3.83, p < 0.001], also with a positive
coefficient (0.079). The relationship between self-esteem and self-perceived mate value
may cause the problem of multicollinearity that can make the inter-
5. Study 2 pretation of the coefficients of the independent variables difficult.
Diagnostics for self-esteem and self-perceived mate value indicated that
The main purpose of this study was to estimate the effects of self- multicollinearity was a problem but not a serious one. Still, we would
esteem and choosiness on mating performance, and to estimate pre- prefer that our analysis was free of it. Accordingly, we applied the
valence rates of poor mating performance using a different method than following procedure: We ran a regression, where the self-perceived
Study 1. mate value was entered as the dependent variable and the self-esteem
as the independent variable. We saved the residuals as a new variable,
5.1. Methods which reflected self-perceived mate value that was not explained by
self-esteem. For subsequent analysis, we employed this variable as a
5.1.1. Participants measure of self-perceived mate value.
Three research assistants were employed for the purposes of this In order to test our hypotheses, we ran an ANCOVA, where the
study. They recruited individuals that volunteered to take part in a mating performance was entered as the dependent variable and the sex,
research about intimate relationships (no payment was given). The age, choosiness, self-perceived mate value and self-esteem were entered
prerequisite for participation was to be an adult (18 years old or older). as the independent variables. Our hypothesis was that the relationship
The research took place in the Republic of Cyprus, and the data col- of choosiness and mating performance would be bell-shaped, with
lection process lasted approximately two months. The participants were people who were not choosy or very choosy to experience low perfor-
initially asked to sign a consent form, and subsequently they were given mance in mating. Thus, the relationship between choosiness and mating

23
M. Apostolou et al. Personality and Individual Differences 122 (2018) 19–28

performance was assumed to be described by a quadratic function. 7. Study 3

Thus, choosiness was entered in the model as such: Two independent
factors, the total score of choosiness and the total score squared. The purpose of this study was to estimate the effect of personality,
The results indicated that there were no significant effects of sex, attention to looks and mating effort on mating performance, as well as
age, and choosiness. There was a significant effect of self-esteem [F to estimate the prevalence rates of poor mating performance in a dif-
(1,376) = 24.30, p < 0.001, ηp2 = 0.061], with a positive coefficient ferent sample.
(0.038), suggesting that higher self-esteem was associated with higher
mating performance. Moreover, there was a significant effect of self- 7.1. Methods
perceived mate value [F(1,376) = 30.35, p < 0.001, ηp2 = 0.075],
with a positive coefficient (0.059), suggesting that higher self-perceived 7.1.1. Participants
mate value was associated with higher mating performance. Procedures similar with Study 2 were used to recruit participants. In
We repeated the analysis for starting a relationship. As before, age the current study, 505 Greek-Cypriots participated (310 women, 197
and choosiness were not significant. There was, however, a significant men). The mean age of women was 27.8 (SD = 9.9) and the mean age
effect of sex [F(1,381) = 6.62, p = 0.010, ηp2 = 0.017], with men in- of men was 29.6 (SD = 10.5). Moreover, 36.7% of the participants were
dicating higher scores (M = 3.18, SD = 1.08) than women (M = 2.80, single, 31.6% were in a relationship, 24.5% were married, 4% were
SD = 1.20). Moreover, there was a significant effect of self-esteem [F divorced and 0.6% were widowed.
(1,381) = 9.06, p = 0.003, ηp2 = 0.023], with a positive coefficient
(0.037), suggesting that higher self-esteem was associated with higher
7.1.2. Materials
performance in starting a relationship. Also, there was a significant
The survey had five parts. In the first part, participants were given
effect of self-perceived mate value [F(1,381) = 7.78, p = 0.006,
the mating performance instrument discussed in Study 1. In the second
ηp2 = 0.020], with a positive coefficient (0.048), suggesting that higher
part, participants' personality was measured using the BFI-44, a 44-item
self-perceived mate value was associated with higher performance in
instrument that measured the Big Five personality dimensions
starting a relationship.
(John & Srivastava, 1999). In the third part, we measured attention to
We repeated the analysis for keeping a relationship. The results
looks using a four-item instrument, while in the fourth part we mea-
indicated no significant effects of sex, age and self-esteem. This time,
sured mating effort by also using a four-item instrument. We developed
the choosiness was significant for the first [F(1,378) = 3.94, p = 0.048,
the attention to looks and the mating effort instruments using the
ηp2 = 0.010], as well as for the second order factor [F(1,378) = 4.28,
procedure discussed in Study 1 for the mating performance instrument.
p = 0.039, ηp2 = 0.011]. The relationships had a bell-curve shape,
Both instruments are described in Appendix A.
where mating performance would decrease in low and in high choosi-
Finally, in the fifth part demographic information was collected
ness. In addition, there was a significant effect of self-perceived mate
(i.e., sex, age, marital status). Please note that the order of presentation
value [F(1,378) = 6.52, p = 0.011, ηp2 = 0.017], with a positive
of the first four parts was counterbalanced across participants.
coefficient (0.044), suggesting that higher self-perceived mate value
was associated with higher performance in keeping a relationship.
Finally, there was an interaction between the sex and the first-order 8. Results
[F(1,378) = 6.27, p = 0.013, ηp2 = 0.016] and the second-order
choosiness factor [F(1,378) = 5.43, p = 0.020, ηp2 = 0.014]. The in- 8.1. Prevalence
teraction is depicted in Fig. 1, where we can see that, for men choosi-
ness had no effect on mating performance, but for women it had an The prevalence rates of poor mating performance are presented in
effect that was bell-shaped. Women who were not choosy or who were Table 1. We can see that about one in five participants indicated that
very choosy indicated a lower mating performance than women who they faced difficulties in intimate relationships. About 43% indicated
were moderately choosy. that they did not regard themselves good at starting and keeping a
relationship, about 42% indicated that they had difficulties in starting a
relationship, and about 33% in keeping a relationship. We estimated
also that 54.4% of the participants answered “1” or “2” in at least one of
the starting and keeping a relationship questions. Finally, 20.6%

Fig. 1. The figure above depicts the interaction between the sex of the participant and choosiness for the keeping a relationship question. Participants' scores on their performance with
respect to keeping a relationship are depicted in the Y axis while participants' scores for choosiness are depicted in the X axis. We can see that for men choosiness has no effect on their
performance, but for men, it had an effect which was bell-shaped. In particular, women who were not choosy or who were very choosy experienced lower performance than women who
were moderately choosy.

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M. Apostolou et al. Personality and Individual Differences 122 (2018) 19–28

Table 2
Main effects of sex, mating effort and personality in Study 3.

Sex Mating effort Conscientiousness Extraversion Neuroticism

p-Value ηp2 p-Value ηp2 b p-Value ηp2 b p-Value ηp2 b p-Value ηp2 b

Total mating performance 0.008 0.015 < 0.001 0.194 0.430 n.s. n.s. n.s. < 0.001 0.037 0.026 < 0.001 0.052 −0.031
I find it easy to start a romantic relationship. n.s. n.s. < 0.001 0.051 0.345 0.013 0.013 0.029 0.002 0.021 0.034 n.s. n.s. n.s.
I find it easy to keep a romantic relationship. n.s. n.s. 0.011 0.014 0.165 n.s. n.s. n.s. 0.036 0.010 0.021 < 0.001 0.033 −0.039

answered “1” or “2” in both questions. performance, but the effect was more pronounced for women than for
men.
8.2. Contingencies Furthermore, there was a significant interaction between the age
and the extraversion. The more extraverted people were, the higher
Before we proceeded with our analysis, we would like to investigate their mating performance was, with this effect becoming more pro-
whether there were any multicollinearity issues. In particular, attention nounced as age increased. Finally, there was a significant interaction
to looks could be considered a form of mating effort, so the two vari- between age and attention to looks. The higher the attention to looks,
ables may be closely related. To examine whether this was the case, we the higher the mating performance was, but this effect was small in
ran a regression, where the attention to looks variable was entered as younger age groups, strengthened in young to middle age groups, and
the dependent variable, and the mating effort variable was entered as declined in middle age and older age groups.
the predictor. The R-squared was 0.01, indicating that 1% of the var-
iation in the attention to looks was explained by mating effort. 8.3. Differences across studies
Accordingly, multicollinearity was not an issue in this case.
In order to examine contingencies, we ran an ANCOVA, where the We would also like to examine whether there were any differences
mating performance was entered as the dependent variable and the sex, in mating performance across the three studies summarized above.
age, attention to looks and mating effort were entered as the in- Accordingly, we ran an ANOVA, where the mating performance was
dependent variables. The analysis was repeated separately for starting entered as the dependent variable and the study (three levels) as the
and for keeping intimate relationships. The significant results were independent variable. No significant effect was found.
presented in Table 2. The attention to looks came with a positive
coefficient in all three cases, but did not pass the significance level. The 9. Discussion
sex was significant only for the overall case, where men gave higher
scores (M = 3.13, SD = 0.77) than women (M = 3.01, SD = 0.80). The results of three independent studies indicated that about one in
Mating effort was significant for the overall, as well as for the five participants found intimate relationships difficult, about one in two
starting and keeping a relationship. The coefficient was positive in all faced difficulties in either starting or keeping a relationship, and about
three cases, suggesting that more mating effort was associated with one in five faced difficulties in both starting and keeping a relationship.
better mating performance. The effect size was very large, and among It was also found that sexual functioning, self-esteem, self-perceived
the largest measured across the three studies, indicating that this mate value, choosiness, personality, attention to looks, and mating ef-
variable played a big role in mating performance. fort were significant predictors of mating performance. Finally, it was
With respect to personality, openness and agreeableness were not found that men and women closely overlapped in their mating perfor-
significant predictors of mating performance. Extraversion was a sig- mance, age did not seem to affect mating performance, and sexual or-
nificant predictor for both the overall and the starting and keeping a ientation had an effect.
relationship. It came with a positive coefficient, indicating that the With respect to the latter finding, we did not have a specific hy-
more extraverted people were the higher their mating performance pothesis about the effect of sexual orientation on mating performance;
was. Neuroticism was significant for the overall mating performance however, we assumed that due to the social stigma attached to same-sex
and for keeping a relationship. The coefficient was negative, suggesting orientation across societies (Fone, 2000), same-sex attractions may in-
that the more neurotic people were, the lower their mating perfor- fluence people's mating performance. Our results indicated an effect,
mance was. Also, conscientiousness was significant only for starting a which was predominantly confined to heterosexual people who ex-
relationship, and came with a positive coefficient suggesting that low perienced same-sex attractions indicating lower mating performance
scorers had more difficulties in starting a relationship. than heterosexual people who did not experience such attractions. One
Moreover, several significant interactions were found which are possible interpretation of this difference is that same-sex attractions in
summarized in Table 3. There was a significant interaction between the the former may have caused confusion about their sexual orientation
sex and the attention to looks. More attention to looks was associated which in turn, may have affected performance in mating. We have to
with higher mating performance for men, but for women attention to say, however, that although the sample of Study 1 was relatively large,
looks had no effect on mating performance. In addition, there was a there were few participants who were not exclusive heterosexual. Thus,
significant interaction between the sex and the mating effort for starting further research is required if more solid conclusions on the effects of
a relationship. The higher the mating effort, the higher the mating sexual orientation on mating performance are to be reached.

Table 3
Interaction effects in Study 3.

Sex ∗ attention to looks Sex ∗ mating effort Age ∗ attention to looks Age ∗ extraversion

p-Value ηp2 p-Value ηp2 p-Value ηp2 p-Value ηp2

Total mating performance 0.006 0.016 0.027 0.011 0.015 0.013 0.013 0.014
I find it easy to start a romantic relationship. 0.012 0.014 0.002 0.020 0.004 0.019 n.s. n.s.
I find it easy to keep a romantic relationship. 0.001 0.022 n.s. n.s. 0.040 0.009 0.001 0.025

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M. Apostolou et al. Personality and Individual Differences 122 (2018) 19–28

Consistent with our original hypothesis, the prevalence rates of poor of the subject of sexual functioning, additional research is required if
mating performance were very high. This finding provides strong sup- more definite conclusions are to be reached.
port for our evolutionary framework, because it is highly unlikely that Furthermore, consistent with our original hypothesis, people with
about half of the participants across the three studies had a serious low self-esteem were found to experience poor mating performance. It
health problem or were plagued by mutations that impaired their needs to be said, however, that part of this effect may be due to re-
mating performance. A more likely scenario is that the drastic en- porting bias; people with low self-esteem may underestimate their
vironmental changes have resulted in people's adaptations involved in mating performance. Similarly, people who experience high levels of
mating not being able to deal effectively with the evolutionary novel self-esteem may tend to overestimate their mating performance. Future
environmental demands, experiencing as a consequence poor mating research may attempt to replicate this finding using a different meth-
performance. odology, such as participants indicating their self-esteem, and close
It could be argued, however, that our estimated prevalence rates friends or relatives providing ratings for participants' mating perfor-
were affected by the overrepresentation of single people in our studies. mance.
In particular, single people experienced high rates of poor mating Choosiness appeared to be a significant predictor of mating per-
performance in relation to those who were not single. In all three stu- formance, but only for women in keeping a relationship. In particular,
dies, the participants who reported to be single were about 40%, which women who reported low or high choosiness, experienced lower per-
inevitably increased the overall prevalence rates of poor mating per- formance in keeping a relationship than women who reported a mod-
formance. Yet, the most recent population consensus studies in Greece erate choosiness. As discussed in the introduction, one reason for this
and in the Republic of Cyprus, where the current research took place, finding is that women who were not choosy at all, would frequently
indicated that the prevalence rate of single people was about 40% end-up with men of poor relationship potential. On the other hand,
(Hellenic Statistical Authority, 2014; Republic of Cyprus Statistical women who were very choosy, may have difficulties in making com-
Service, 2015). Therefore, the high prevalence rates were not due to the promises, and terminate relationships believing that they could do
overrepresentation of singles in our study. A better explanation is that better. We would expect to find a similar effect for men, but we did not,
the high prevalence of single people in Greece and in the Republic of and future studies need to investigate this sex difference further.
Cyprus, and consequently in our studies, was due to the high prevalence Moving on, we found that limited attention to looks was associated
of poor mating performance: People faced difficulties in intimate re- with poor mating performance, but the effect was present pre-
lationships, and as a consequence, they stayed single. dominantly for men. Given that men value beauty more than women in
Please note that, we are not suggesting that poor mating perfor- a partner (Buss, 2017b), we would expect this effect to be present and
mance is the sole reason for being single. People stay single for reasons stronger in women. Future research needs to investigate this interaction
other than difficulties in attracting and keeping a partner, including further. We also found that little attention to looks negatively affected
focusing on developing their strengths that would enable them to be- performance in intimate relationships, but this effect was less pro-
come more effective mate-seekers in the future, or because they do not nounced in younger and older age groups. One possible explanation is
wish to commit to a relationship as they prefer to engage in different that in older age groups, looks is not a priority in a partner, so poor
casual relationships (Apostolou, 2017). People may also be single be- attention to looks has a limited effect on mating performance. We do
cause they are between relationships. What we argue, however, is that a not have a hypothesis about the presence of this effect in younger age
considerable proportion of single individuals prefer not to be single, but groups, which is something that needs to be investigated further.
stay single because they face difficulties with relationships, with the With respect to personality, we found that the more introverted
primary cause of these difficulties being the mismatch between ances- people were, the lower their mating performance was. The effect be-
tral and modern conditions. came increasingly more pronounced with age for keeping a relation-
Moving on to the specific adaptations that may have been affected ship. Higher score in neuroticism was also associated with poor mating
by such mismatch, mechanisms that regulate sexual functioning ap- performance; yet, the effect was not significant for starting but it was
peared to play a role. In men, there was a significant effect of pleasure, for keeping a relationship. That is to say, high neuroticism did not cause
with lower current enjoyment of sex life in comparison with past en- difficulties in people starting a relationship but in keeping it. On the
joyment to be associated with lower mating performance. One possible other hand, low scores in conscientiousness, appeared to constraint
interpretation of this finding is that people who experienced poor people in starting rather than in keeping a relationship. Future studies
mating performance, at the time of the study were more likely not to need to advance this line of work by investigating the effect of specific
have any partners, and so they were dissatisfied with their current personality types (e.g., the dark triad) on mating performance.
sexual life. In this respect, this finding does not reflect a mismatch issue Moreover, we found that low mating effort was associated with low
affecting a specific sexual functioning mechanism. More relevant to our mating performance. The effect size was quite high, suggesting that the
theoretical perspective is the finding that men who indicated issues mating effort was a key predictor of mating performance. Future studies
with orgasm and ejaculation experienced lower mating performance. need to investigate this effect further and attempt to identify the factors
This is consistent with the mechanisms that regulate ejaculation latency which potentially predict mating effort.
time not being optimized for contemporary conditions, causing in effect The two sexes were very close in their mating performance which,
difficulties to men (Apostolou, 2015b). It has also been proposed that in the context of our proposed theoretical framework, can be inter-
the mismatch problem would result in many men experiencing erectile preted to mean that the mismatch problem affects men and women
difficulties that would be associated with poor mating performance roughly the same. Also, there was not a significant main effect of age,
(Apostolou, 2015b). We did not find this effect; one reason may be that which suggests that as people were getting older, their mating perfor-
men are reluctant to report such difficulties. Another possibility is the mance was not affected. We would expect a positive effect of age since,
wide use of medicines such as Viagra that has enabled men to effec- as they age, people acquire more experience with relationships and
tively address erectile difficulties. would become better in them. One possible reason for the absence of
In women, similar to men, there was an effect of sexual functioning, this effect may be that the causes of poor mating performance are not
with lower current enjoyment of sex life to be associated with lower affected by experience. For instance, people cannot change their per-
mating performance. Difficulties with orgasm were also found to be sonality, even if they have realized that it causes them issues in the
associated with poor mating performance. It has been proposed that domain of mating.
another mechanism that has been affected by the mismatch problem in We need to say that the mismatch argument put forward in the
women, causing poor mating performance is sexual desire (Apostolou, current paper should not be interpreted to mean that our ancestors had
2016b). Such effect was not found here, but given the sensitive nature it easy with mating. The nature of mating mandates that attracting and

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M. Apostolou et al. Personality and Individual Differences 122 (2018) 19–28

retaining partners would be challenging across different times and relationship with him/her.
different cultures. One reason is that mating involves different parties 3) I would easily give an opportunity to someone to date me.
which have common but also diverging interests (Buss, 2017a). For
instance, parents and children are genetically related but not geneti- Note. Participants had to answer each question using a five-point
cally identical, so when it comes to mate choice, their interests do not Likert scale: 1-strongly disagree, 5-strongly agree. The total score is
overlap (Apostolou, 2014). Thus, in ancestral human societies, where estimated by reverse scoring item (3) and subsequently estimating the
mate choice was regulated, people would have to accept as mates in- average score of the three questions. Higher scores indicate higher
dividuals who did not comply with their preferences or clash with their choosiness.
parents. Our argument is however that, apart from problems and
challenges of mating which have been present throughout human A.2. Attention to looks instrument
evolutionary time, the transition to post industrialism brought addi-
tional problems and challenges which steam from adaptations involved 1) I pay little attention to my clothing.
in mating to had sufficient time to adapt to new conditions. 2) I make a lot of effort to have the ideal weight.
Our findings suggest that this problem is severe, affecting many 3) Physical hygiene/cleanliness is very important to me.
people. Yet, it could be argued that if the transition to post-in- 4) I am very careful about my appearance when I go out.
dustrialism has resulted in men and women facing considerable re-
duction in their mating performance, we would expect that the world Note. Participants had to answer each question using a five-point
population would drop: Failing to attract and retain a partner would Likert scale: 1-strongly disagree, 5-strongly agree. The total score is
lead to reduced reproductive success. But, contrary to this prediction, estimated by averaging participants' scores in the four questions. Higher
over the last decades, the world population experienced a substantial scores indicate more attention to looks.
growth rather than a decline. Still, growth is predicted by several fac-
tors other than mating performance, including availability of food and A.3. Mating effort instrument
healthcare. Thus, the transition to post-industrialism may have im-
paired mating performance, but at the same time, it has resulted in a 1) It is a waste of time to make an effort to start a romantic relation-
tremendous availability of healthcare and food, which more than ba- ship.
lanced the fall in fertility from poor mating performance. To put it 2) Romantic relationships are not my priority.
differently, due to the mismatch problem, people may had fewer chil- 3) I dedicate all my energy to my romantic relationships.
dren than before the post-industrial transition, but due to the avail- 4) It is worth trying to keep a romantic relationship.
ability of healthcare and food, these children were much more likely to
survive to sexual maturity. Note. Participants had to answer each question using a five-point
Our study has several limitations. To begin with, participants may Likert scale: 1-strongly disagree, 5-strongly agree. The total score is
not have had a good understanding of their mating performance, and estimated by reverse scoring items (1) and (2) and subsequently esti-
given that our data are self-report, such bias could not be controlled. mating the average score of the four questions. Higher scores indicate
Moreover, as this area of inquiry is underexplored, we had to develop higher mating effort.
our own instruments in order to test some of our hypotheses. For in-
stance, researchers have developed instruments that measure the dif- References
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