MY SOi.

{ THE FANATIC

was tfuowing his possessions out! The TV, video-player and

stereo systpm f<ıllowed the guitar. Soon the room was practi-
calIy bare. Evcn tlreı 1"ırıh.;ıppy walls bore pale marks where
Hanif kureishi Ali's pictures had been removed.
Pawez couldn't sleep; he went more often to the whisky
bottle, even when he was at work. FIe realised it was impera-
My Soırı THE FaNetıc dve to discuss the matter with someone sympathetic.
Paı:rez had been a taxi-driver for twenty years. Half that
time he'd worked for the §ame firm. Like him, most of the
other drivers were Punjabis. They preferred to work at night,
when the roads were clearer and the money better. They slept
SURREpTITI6USLy, THE FATHER began going into his son's during the da11 avoiding their wives. They led almost a boy's
bedroom. He woulj sit therp for houri, rousing_ himself only life together in Üe cabbies' office, playing cards and serting
,W,hat
İo u"ek clues. bewildered him was that Ali was getting up practical iokes, exchanging lewd stories, eating takea,ways
tidier. The room, which was usual\y a tangle of clothes, fiom local balti.hoııses, and discussing politics and their own
il""ı.r, ..ı.ı."a bais and video games, was becoTirg neat and problems.
spaces began appearing where before there had been But Parvez had been unable to discuss the subject of Ali
"ra"."a;
only with his friends. He was to<ı ashamed. And he was afraid,
- mess: parvez too, that they would blame him for the wrong turning his
rrritıaıly had been pleased: his son was outgrowing
his teenağe attitudes. But one da)i.beside the dustbinrParvez boy had taken, just as he had blamed other fathers whose
i"".rd , ior,, shopping bagthat contained not onş old toys sons began running around with bad girls, skipping school
l;;;;;pot"r disti, .rld"oğpes, new books, and fashionable and joining gangs.
-, For years, Pawez had boasted to the other men about how
;ı".h;-a. u"y haj bought f"* months before. Also with_
out explanation, Ali hağ parted lrom the English_girlfriend Ali excelled in cricket, swimming and football, and what 'Was
an
who u-sed to come to the house. His old friends attentive scholar he was, getting As in rnost subjects. it
stopped ringing. "rorid asking too much for Ali to get a good job, marry the right
po, ,."rJns* he didn,t himself understand, parvez was girl, and start a family? Once this happened, Parvez would
unable to bring up the subject of Ali's unusual behaviour. FIe be happy. His dreams of doing well in England would have
*", ,*r.." thit Le had b..o-. slightly afraid of his son, come true.'W'here had he gone wrong?
who, berween his silences, was developing 1sharp tongue,
one rema tk Pawez did make _ tYou don't play your gultlr
_ elicited the mysterious but conclusive replR One night, sitting in the taxi office on busted chairs with his
"rry*or",
'There are more important things to be done" two closest friends, watching a Sylvester Stallone fllmrParvez
Yet Parvez felt.hiJ son,s as an injustice. He had broke his silence.
".."rrti.ity
always been aware of the pitfalls that other men,s sons 'I can't understand it!' he burst out. 'Everything is going
had stumbled into in England. It was fbr Ali that Parvez from his room. And I can't talk to him any mofe. 'W'e were
*"rı."a long hours; he spJnt a lot of rnone_y p."Iirrg for Ali,s not father and son - we were brothers! 'W'here has he gone?
education ,r, ,..orrrtİrt. He had bought Ali good suits, Why is he tofturing me?' And Patvez put his head in his
"İ
all the books he required, and a computeı And now the boy hands.

10o 101
 HANIF KUREISHI MY SON THE FANATIC

Even as he poured out his accolınt, the men shook their Pawez begaıı his vigil gratefully. Now that he knew what
heads and gave one another knowing glances. üe problem might be, he felt betteı And surely, he figured,
'Tell me what is happening!' he demanded- things couldn't have gone too far?
The reply was alrnoİİ triumphant. They had_guessed some- He watched each mouthful the btıy took. He sat beside
'When
thing was goirg wrong. Now it was clear: Ali was taking him at every opportunİty and looked İnto hİs eyes. he
dr"ğ ."a s-eııi"g his possessions to pay for them. That ıııas could, he took l:he boy's hand, checked his temperature. If
why his bedroom was being emptied- the boy wasn't at home, Parvez was active, looking under the
''What mrıst I do, then?' cafpet, in Ali's drawers, and behind the empty wardrobe -
parvez,s friends instructed him to watch Ali scruputrously sniffing, instriecting, probing. He knew what to look for:
and to be severe with him, before the boy went mad, over_ Bettina had drawn pictures of capsules, syringes; pills, pow-
dosed, or murdered someone- ders, rocks.
Parvez staggered out into the early_morning _air, terrified Every night, she waited to hear news of what he'd wit-
that they *.İJright. His boy - the drug-addict killer! nessed. After a few days of constant observation, Parvez was
To hiİ relief, hİ found Bettina sitting in his car, able to report that although the boy had given up sports, he
Usually the fast customers of the night_were local 'bfasses', seemed healthy. FIis eyes ,were clear. He didnt - as Parvez
_

or prostİtutes. The taxi_drivers kne* them well and often expected he might - flinch guiltily from his father's gaze. In
dro e them to liaisons. At the end of the girls, night, the men fact, the boy seemed more alert and steady than usual: as
would ferry them home, though sometime, th.y would join well as being sullen, he was very watchful. He refurned his
the cabbi". fo, a drinking session in Lhıı office. Occasiorr- father's long looks with mo(e than a hint of criticism, of
,A ride in exchange reproach, eyen - so much so that Parvez began to feel that
ally, the drivers would go *ith the girls.
for a ride,' it was called. it was he who was in the wrong, and not the boy.
Bertina had known Parvezfor three years. She lived outside 'And there's nothing else physically different?' Bettina
the town and, on the long drives home, duıing whiclı she sat asked.
not in üe passerrg., ,..ibut beside him, Parvez tıad talked 'No!' Patvez thought for a moment. 'But he is growing a
to her about his lİfe and hopes, jdst as she talked about hers. b'eard.'
They saw each other most nights. One night, after sitting with Bettina in an all-night coffee
He could talk to her about things he,d never be able to shop, Pawez came home particularly late. Reluctantlg he
discuss with his own wife. Bettina, İn turn, always reported and Bettina had abandoned the drog üeor5 for Parvez had
on her night,s activities. He liked to know where she had found nothing resembling any drug in Ali's room. Besides,
been and-*ıtt whom. once, he had rescued her from a Ali wasn't selling his belongings. He threw them out, gave
violent client, and since then they had come to care for each them alway, or donated them to charity shops.
other. Standing in the hall, Parvez heard the boy's alarm clock
go off. Parvez hurried into his bedroom, where his wife, still
Though Bettina had never met Ali, she hgT4 about the
no| .orİinually. That night, when parvez toid Bettina that awake, was sewing in bed. F{e ordered her to sit down and
r,"'rorp..ted eıi was on irrg*, to Parvez,s relief, she judged keep quiet, though she had neitlıer stood up nor said a word.
neitheİ him nor the boR buİsaid, 'It's all in the_eyeş:' Thgy As she watched him curiousl5 he observed his son through
rnight be bloodshot; thi pupils might be dilated; Ali might the crack of the door..
look tired. FIe could be İırbl" to İweats, or sudden mood The boy went into the bathroom to wash. 'When he
changes. 'OK?' returned to his room, Patvez sprang across the hall and set

toz 103
 HANIF KUREISHi MY SON THE FANATIC

his ear to Ali's door. A muttering sound came from within, half-closed, saying, 'This is the life.' This tirne Parvez was
Parvez was puzzled but relieved. uembling. Bettina put her arms around him.
Pawez watched him
Once this clue rrra U".r, establishe d,'Wiüout 'Iffhat's happened?'
at other times. The boy was praying. fail, when he 'I've just had the worst experience of my life.'
, As Bettina rubbed his head Paruez told her that the pre-
was at home, he prayed five times a day-
Parvez hrj gro;'ır;;p h Lahore, wheİe all young boys had vious evening, as he and his son had studied the menu, the
been taught tt" İ"r"r. To stop Patvez from falling_ asleep waiter, whom Parvez knew, brought him his usual whisky-
while he"studied, the mautul lnİd attached a gi99e 9f sÇrPg and-wateı Pawez was §o nefyous he had even pıepa,red a
to the .*li"e tied it to Parvez's hair, s_o if ]ıis.head fell question. He ,was going to ask Ali if he was worried about
""h
forward, heİ"o"ld irrstantly jerk awake. After this indignity, hls lmminent exams. But first he loosened his tie, crunched
Parvez had avoided all ,"İiğior". Not that the other tad- a poppadum, and took a long dıink.
drivers h"a ."y ;;r; ,".p.".. than he. In fact, thgr made Before Parvez could speak, Ali made a face.
iokes about the local mullahs walking arorınd with their
caps 'Don't you know it's wrong to drink alcohol?' he had said.
and beardr, thirkl".ğ İh.y.orld tell ğe9ple how to live while 'He spoke to me very harshl5' Parvez said to Bettina. 'I
their eyes İoved ovJr th. boys and girls in their care, was about to castigate the boy for being insolent, but
parvez described to Bettüa whal he had discovered. He I managed to control myself.'
informed tt *"r, i, the taxi office. FIis friends, who had Parvez had explained patiently that for years he had
"
been so inquisitive b"for", now became oddly silent, They worked more than ten hours a day, had few enjoyments or
could hardİy condemn the boy for his devotions, hobbies, and never gone on holiday. Surely it wasn't a crime
parvez decidedio ..ı." , ,ıght off and go out with the boy. to have a drink when he wanted one?
They could talk things over.
-H. *r,,ted to hear how things 'But it is forbidden,'üe boy said.
*..i going ."İi"gi; he wanted to tell him stories ab<ıut Parvez shrugged. 'I İ<ncıw.'
İ" P"l.İİ,rr. More than anythi.g, \,.yearned to
trret f,"-l1} "a 'And so is garnbling, lsrı't it?'
understanj ho* Ali had discovered the 'spiritua[ diınension', 'Yes. But surely we are only human?'
as Bettina called it. Each time Parvez took a drink, the boy winced, or made
To Parvez's surprise, ü* boy refused to accompany hyn, some kind of fastidious f,ace. This made parvez drink more
He clairned he haj .r. .pp"lrrt*"flt- Parvez had to insist that quickly. The waiter, wanting to please his friend, brought
no appointment could dJ*or" important than that of a son another glass of whisky. Parvez knew he was getting drunk,
with his father. but he couldn't stop himself. Ali had a horrible look, full of
disgust and censure. It was as if he hated his father.
Halfway through the meal, Pawez suddenly lost his temper
The next day, Parvez went immediately t9 the_ street corner and threw a plate on the floor. He felt like ripping the cloth
where gettioa stood in the rain wearing high heels, a short from the table,'Yetbut the waiters and other customefs were
skirt, arı"d, a lrr.g -r., which'she would open hopefully at staring at him. he wouldn't stand for his own son's telling
passıng cars. him the difference berween right and wrong. He knew he
'Get in, get in!' he said. wasn't a bad man. He had a conscience. There were a few
They a.J". out across.the moors and parked a1 the spot things of which he was ashamed, but on the whole he had
where, on better days, their vieşır unimpeded fol rniles except lived a decent life.
by wiİd deer and horr"r, they'd lie back, with their eyes 'IVhen have I had time to be wicked?' he asked Ali.

704 105
 HANIF KUREISHI MY SON THE FANATIC
parvez Final|y, as Parvez's eyes filled ıvith tears, the boy urged
In a low, monotonous voice, the boy explained that
had not, in fact, lived a good life_ He had broken countless him to mend his ways.
rules of the koran. 'But how would that be possible?' Parvez asked.
'For instance?' Parvez demanded. 'Pfay,' urged Ali. 'Pray beside me.'
Ali didn,t need to think. As if he had been waiting for this Parvez paid the bill and ushered his boy out of there as
moment, he asked his father if he didn,t relish pork pies? soon as he was able. He couldn't take any more.
.,Well., Parvez couldn,t deny that he loved crispy bacon Ali sounded as if he'd swallowed someone else's voice.
smothered with mushıooms and mustard and sandwiched On'the way home, the boy sat in the back of the taxi, as
between slices of fried bread. In fzıct, he ate this for breakfast if he were a customer. .§[hat has made you like this?' Parvez
every morning. asked him, afraid üat somehow he was to blame for all this.
Aii then ,.-irrd.d parvez that he had ordered his wife to 'Is there a particular event which has influenced you?'
cook pork sausages, saying to her,'You're not in the village 'Living in this country.'
,ro*. this is England.'We have to fit in.' 'But I love England,' Patvez said, watching his boy in the
parvez was so annoyed and perplexçd by this attack that rear view mirror. 'They let you do almost anything here.'
he called for more drink. 'That is the problem,'Ali replied.
.The problem is this,, the boy said. He leaned across the For the first time in years, Parvez couldn't see straight. He
,You knocked the side of the cat against a lorry, ripping off the
table. FLr the first time that night, his eyes,were alive.
are too implicated in'W'estern civilisation,' wing mirror. They were lucky not to have been stopped by
,Impli_ the police: Paruez would have lost his licence and hiİlob.
Parvez tn rped; he thought he was g<ıing to ch<ıke.
cated!' he said. 'But we live here!' Back at the house, as he got out of the car, Parvez stumbled
.The ,Western materialists hate usr, Ali said. ,Papa, how and fell in the road, scraping his hands and ripping his
can you love something uüich hatj:s you?' trousers. He managed to haul himself up. The boy didn't
.fzhra is the ,rrr*.r, üenr, parve|z said miserably, ,accord_ even offer him his hand.
ttı you?'
ing"eli Pawez told Bettina he was willing to pray, if that was what
jidrr't need to think. He addressed his father fluently, the boy wanted - if it would dislodge the pitiless look from
as if Parvez were a rowdy crowd which had to be quelled or his eyes. 'But what I object to,' he said, 'is being told by my
convinced. The law of lstam would rule the world; the skin own son that I am going to Hell!'
'What had finished Parvez
of the infidel would burn off. again and again; üe Jews and off was the boy's saying he was
Christers would be routed. The West was a sink of hypocrites, giving up his studies in accounting. Vhen Parvez had asked
adulterers, homosexuals, drug users and prostitutes. wh1 Ali said sarcastically that it was obvious. ''W'estern edu-
"While A1i talked, parvez 1ooked out the window as if to cation cultivates an anti-relİgİous attitude.'
check that they were still in London. And in the world of accountants it was usual to meet
.My peopl. h"re taken enoupçh. If the persecution doesn,t women, drini< alcohol, and practise usury.
oBut it's well-paid
stop, ilr"". *ııı be ji.had.I, and *itlio.r, of others, will gladty _ workr' Parvez argued. 'For years you've
give our lives for the cause.' been preparing!'
'But why, why?' Parvez said. Ali said he was going to begin to work in prisons, with
'For us, the reward will be in Paradise,' poor Muslims who were struggling to maintain their puriry
'Paradise!' in the face of corruption. Finally, at the end of the evİning,

1,o6 1o7
 HANiF KUREiSHI MY SON THE FANATIC

he didn't The boy watched hirn as if he expected nothing. Halt-

as Ali went up to bed, he had asked his father why
beg_in.
hg|y, parvez said that people had to treat one another with
have a beard, or at least a moustache,
.I feel as if l,ve lost my sonr, parvez told Bertina. ,I can,t fespect, particularly children their pafents. This did seem, for
bear-to be looked at aS if l,m-a criminal. I,ve decided what a mom'ent, to affect the boy. Fleartened, Patvez continued.
to do.' In his view, this life was all there was, and when you died,
''What is it?'
you rofted in the earth. 'Grass and flo,wers vıill gfow o,.t oİ
'I'm going to tell hiry_to pic\ uq his prayer mat and get my grave, but something c}f me will live on.'
i.y ıi""""_ii wilt be fhe haidest thing l,ve ever done, 'How then?'
"", "t
but tonight I'm going to do it,' 'In 9thel pe_ople. For instance, I will continue - in you.'
.But you mustn,t \iu. up on himr, said Bettina. ,Many At this the boy appeared a little distressed.
,.*, t.oır1. fal1 iito cuits and superstitious grgups. It 'And in yotq grandchildren,' Parvez added for good
a;;;,.-;;. .ı."v,iı ,ı*ry* feel the same way., She said measure. 'But while r am here on earth r want to makı the
best of it. And I want you to, as well!'
Parvez had to stick by his boy,
Parvez*.* p"İrord.d that she was right, even,though be 'What d'you mean by "make the best of it''?' asked the
aia.i i."l like-gi;ing his son more love when he had hardly boy.
'.\Vell,' said Parvez. 'For a staft. . . you should enjoy your-
been thanked for all he had already given,
self. Yes. Enjoy yourself without hurting others.'
Ali said enjoyment was 'a bottomless pit'.
'But I don't mean enjoyment like that,' said Parvez. .I mean
For the next two weeks, parvez tried to endure his son,s the beauty of living.'
attempted to make conversation
İ""l.. ,nd reproaches. HLpawez-ventured oAll over the.world our people are oppressedr'
;b;; eır, u.ıi.fs. But 7f. any criticism, Ali was the
had a b;il"; reply. on one occasion, Ali accused boy's reply.
"i*"", ?r;;iıirrğ, r"
;';;;l;;i the whites; in contrast, he explained, 'I knowr' Parvez answered, not entirely sure who 'our
üere was more to the world people' were. 'But still - life is for living!'
he hirnself was ,ro|,ir.f"rior,;
.W.İst Aii said, 'Real morality has existed for hundreds of years.
İn"r, tt 'West, thoogh the always üou_ght it was best,
.FIow" is it you kn"ow that?, Pawez said. ,Seeing as you,ve Aroıınd tlre world rrıillions and millions of people shaİe my
beliefs. Are you sayiııg you afe right and they arİ all*.orrgİ'
never left England?'
Ati replied with a look of contempt, And Ali looked at his father with such aggressive confiderrce
Or. İİsaa, lr""i.rg ensured_ there was no alcohol on his üat Parvez would say ııo more.
breath, plwez ru. jo*r, at the kitchen table ıırith Ali. He A few evenings later, Bettina was riding in Parvez's car
after visiting a client when they passed a boy on the street.
lr"p.Jııi would compliment hirrı on the beard he was grow_ 'T|ıaq's rny son,' Parvez said, his face set hard. They were
İng, but Alİ dİdn't appeaf to_notrce ıt,
Th. p..ri""r-d.y, fr^*., had been telling Bercina that he on the other side of towrü, in a poor district, where there
,W,est
sometimes felt inwardly empty wefe two mosques.
th"-"ghi people in'the Bettina turned to see. 'Slow down, then, slow down!'
.rrd lh"t p.opl" needed a philosophy to live by_,_
.yes,, d"ttio" had said."That,s the answer. you must tell She said,'He's good-looking. Reminds me of ]rou. But with
a more determined face. PleaJe, can't we stop?;
him wiıat yo* ptiıorophy of life,is. Then he will understand .W'hat for?'
that there are other beliefs.'
--Afr.,
some fatiguing considçration, Parvez was ready to 'I'd like to talk to him.'

108 L09
 HANIF KUREISHI MY SON THE FANATIC
parvez turned the cab round and pulled up beside the boy. the paper, watch television, or even sit down. He kept polrr-
'Coming home?' Parvez asked. 'It's quite a way" ing himself drinks.
The boy shrugged and got into the back seat. Bettina sat At last, he'When,
went upstairs and paced up and dorvn outside
in the front. paİez becaİıe awate of Bettina's short skirt, Ali's roorn. finally, he opened the door, Ali was pray-
her gaudy rings and ice-blue eyeshadow. He became con- ing. The boy didn't even glance his way.
scioĞ that thJ smell of her p.rir-., which he loved, filled Parvez kicked him over. Then he dragged the boy up by
the cab. He opened the window. the front of his shirt and hit him. The boy fell back. Parvez
,While pawiz hit him again. The boy's face was bloody. Parvezwas panting;
drove as fast as he ccıuld, Bettina said gently
to AIi, ''W'here have you been?' he knew the boy rıras unreachable, but he struck him none
'The mosquer' he said. the less. The boy neither covered himself nor retaliated; there
.And ho*'".. you getting on at college? Are you working was no fear in his eyes. He only said, thıough his split lip,
hard?' 'So who's tlıe fanatic now?'
are you to ask me these que§tions?, $i said, looking
.,Who
out of üe window. Then they hit bad uaffic, and the car
came to a standstill.
parvez,s
By now, Bettina had inadvertently laid her ha_rd on
shoulder. She said, 'Your father, who is a good ınan, is very
worried about yoo. Yoıı know he toves you mofe than his
'You say he loves mer' the boy said.
'Yes!' said Bettina.
.Then why is he letting a woman like 1,611 touch him like
that?'
If Beaina looked at the boy in anger, he looked.back at
her with cold fury.
She said, .,Whai kind of womin am I that I should deserve
to be spoken to like that?'
.You- know what kind,, he said. Then he turned to his
father. iNow let me out.'
'Neverr' replied.
P arv ez
'Don't worr5 I'm getting outr' Bercina said,
.No, don,t!, said P^ru.r. Büt even as the car moved for_
ward, İh* op.rred the door and threw herself out - she had
done this bifore _ and ran away across the road. Patvez
stopped and shouted after her sbveral times, but she had
gone.
Parvez took AIi back to the housp, saying nothing more to
him. Ali went straight t<ı his room. fi^*.rwas unable to read

11o 1t1