A Lotus Birth: By, Jenny Hatch

A Lotus Birth
www.naturalfamilyco.com “Healthy Families Make A Healthy World!”
A Lotus Birth
By, Jenny Hatch
Jenny Hatch's Pregnancy Journal
Written exclusively for the Birthlove.com website
during my fifth pregnancy. The pregnancy journal of
my fifth birth contains my story of a healing, wonderful
Unassisted Lotus birth.
Jenny at 24 weeks pregnant
A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 1

C Louisville Colorado 2003 All rights reserved
A Lotus Birth
Jenny's Pregnancy Journal, Entry 1

May 18, 2002
This is my Pregnancy Journal for my fifth baby (7th
pregnancy).
Birth History in a nutshell:
1st – Michelle – 8lb 9 oz - Natural "Bradley" birth No

drugs – first degree tear/stitches – pitocin for bleeding after
doc yanked out my placenta. Born in a teaching hospital
with a 50% c-section rate in 1988, the year the nationwide
cesarean rate topped out at 25%. Suffered from horrible
postpartum psychosis at three months after birth.
2nd – Allison 1992 – 8lbs - First attempted UC – C-section

for breech presentation. Epidural – scared after 20 hours of
labor at home and went to hospital where a section
was done after three hours of negotiating (fighting) with the
staff. Decided a section was better than an attempted
manual version with drugs.
3rd – Jeffrey 1994 - 8 lb 14 oz – Natural "Bradley" VBAC

in hospital. Stayed home for first two days of this
extremely long labor – hoping for UC – decided to go to
hospital again because of fear. Did 15 additional hours of
labor in hospital – had to fire doctor before baby born all
natural – with no drugs and no tears. More Pitocin for
bleeding after birth.

A Lotus Birth
4th – Andrew 1996 -11lb 12 oz – UC at home after doing

own prenatal care. Labored and birthed the head all by
myself. Then called up hubby who "caught" baby born in
amniotic sac. Cord ruptured by navel at birth/ baby not
breathing, we panicked and called 911 – transferred to
hospital for help with my bleeding and Andrew not
breathing. Pitocin - 2 bags of blood for bleeding after birth.
5th – 1998 - Early miscarriage - 8 weeks
6th – 1999 - Early miscarriage - 8 weeks
7th currently expecting – 40 week marker is October 4th –

19 weeks pregnant with a kicker.
First journal entry –
When you cut my body, you damage my soul….
For the past year I have felt Benjamin around me. He

knows the last two years have been the most harrowing of
our life. Many times I have felt his spirit close by,
comforting, and helping me to get through the day. We
probably had about twenty times when he could have (or
even should have) been conceived in the past two years, as
we weren’t doing much to prevent a baby, nor were we
actively trying. But I was going through an intense time of
remember/healing from sexual abuse (childhood
molestation and adult rape) and I think he wanted me to get
through the worst of it before he jumped into my womb. In
January of 2002 I was tired of feeling suicidal, as I had felt
A Lotus Birth
off and on for the previous five months. I asked my

husband Paul and a friend who both hold the priesthood to
give me a healing blessing specifically addressing the
suicidal overwhelm. They did and the feelings left me –
whoosh… gone… and they have not returned. It was a real
miracle.
With my next fertile time, which came a few weeks
after the blessing, I was feeling so much better I told my
Heavenly Father in prayer that if I was well enough to carry
a baby without having a miscarriage, and if I was
emotionally well enough, that I wanted to conceive
Benjamin right away- as I didn’t want to waste one more
second of my fertility. In a way I felt that living in fear of
miscarriage, fear of uncontrollable emotions or suicidal
overwhelm was allowing my abusers to take one more
precious moment of my life. I wanted to take my life back,
completely. I was grateful for the window of healing that
had opened up into what I now perceive as perfect timing
but I was ready to let all the angst go, and move on.
Imagine my surprise when the night he was conceived,
I awoke suddenly and had the feeling that someone was
falling from far away in the universe. As he fell, all of a
sudden I felt this gentle fwump in my womb and I knew we
had conceived the baby. The sacredness of the trust that
was being given to me after such a specific prayer still
overwhelms my heart with gladness and a determination
that His child will get the very best of My nurture and care.
It was very difficult for me to conceal my excitement to my
husband and friends as the days rolled by. I knew that this
baby would stay and that all would be well. As the time for
my period came and went, my husband started to get really
A Lotus Birth
excited. We had been through so much darkness together, it

was time for some light to come into our home and make
the flame of our love grow brighter.
As the past four months have come and gone, I have
felt this joy in my heart that is difficult to try to quantify. I
believe the best way to describe it is to encourage you the
reader to think of your worst sorrow, your worst day, and
your worst nightmare, and then remember the next time
you felt Joy or Happiness after that pain. The law of
Opposites dictates that as much as we are able to feel pain,
conversely our joys are that much greater. With each
sorrow, our capacity grows and this is why we should never
run from our trials, but rather should embrace them.
When I liken the Law of Opposites to unassisted birth,
I believe a celebration should be held for each tortured
mother able to break free of the bondage and captivity of
medical birth by our on-line community of mothers all over
the world. She who is freed is evidence of yet another battle
being won in the war between the truth of Natural
Childbirth and the lies of conspiring men. These liars who
are part of a 50 Billion dollar a year industry have lived
deliciously off the broken wombs and hearts of Mothers,
Fathers, and Babies the world over.
I first read of UC when I was a teen and ploughed
through Pearl Buck’s The Good Earth. This novel about the
peasantry of China gave a detailed description of a mother
birthing all six of her babies alone, including a set of twins.
I felt the desire and the confidence to birth alone come
fully into my heart during my first labor. I had already run
to the hospital four times during the five days of gentle pre-
labor before her birth, only to be sent home each time for a
A Lotus Birth
"false alarm". As my body progressed to late first stage

labor the day my daughter was born and I enjoyed the
sanctity of being in my own bed and using my own shower
to warm and soothe my muscles, at one point I turned to
my husband and mother and said "can’t we just do it here?"
Not even an option. Our heads overshadowed our hearts
and logic dictated that we go to the hospital. And so we did.
Yet how different would my life have been had we taken
responsibility for our birth and just quietly welcomed our
child on our own bed? I sometimes wonder. Now I wish
that I had followed my instincts and locked myself in my
bathroom and gently caught my daughter in my own hands.
In 1989 I trained to become a Bradley teacher and read
a book on home birth and discovered the League of
Empowered Women – Pat Carter’s elite group of unassisted
birthing mothers. As I read of this group, I determined that
one day I would join her league. As the pendulum has
swung back and forth during my ensuing births and our
interactions with the medical profession have become less
frequent, I am grateful for the many lessons learned during
our very gradual weaning from dependency on the
profession. I know that my life would have been much less
dramatic and more peaceful had we been able to quietly
birth all of our babies at home. Yet I am grateful for the
empathy I am able to offer to others for having walked the
dark paths.
I hope that in this journal, mother’s who are feeling
drawn to UC will be able to read of my struggles and
realize they can overcome the fear that sometimes
overwhelms all of us, even someone like me, who is loudly
proclaiming the beauty of UC to anyone who will listen. I
A Lotus Birth
have been amazed at the various fear-based thoughts that

have popped into my head during the past few months of
this pregnancy. The variety and scope of these fears have
been evidence to me that dark forces would love nothing
more than to see my husband and I run to the doctors,
paralyzed by the "what ifs???" that threaten to overtake our
minds.
As I see it, the most important preparations any
woman can make during pregnancy are the
spiritual/emotional practices of prayer, scripture study,
joyful singing, and powerful affirmations of faith that will
battle the darkness that is all around. And it is a battle, as
real as any described by history. Think of yourself as
William Wallace (Braveheart) chanting, "Freedom,
Freedom, Freedom" as you prepare for your birth. The
tyrannical empire that has evolved these past two hundred
years is just as enslaving as anything the British did to
control and weaken the Scots during the dark ages. More
so, because women’s very identities, our souls, are
interwoven with our physical bodies, inseparable, and when
you damage a woman’s body, you split her soul in two. It
takes great faith to heal the split. It is a leap of faith even to
understand that the split should be healed. But I want to
witness that this knitting together, this healing of the breech
of our souls can be done. It has to be done in order for us to
feel whole/free/connected to our source, who is our Father
in Heaven.
Strong souls form when there is no breach. Each
empowering birth strengthens and gives courage. But we
all know that the strongest knitting in the body takes place
where there has been a cut or a break and a division. The
A Lotus Birth
broken bone heals strongest where the break was. The cut
and torn skin heals thickest where the scar forms. And our
damaged souls heal stronger than ever once we are set free
from the bondage that has overtaken our minds and bodies.
Women who carry the battle scars from waging war
with the medical profession are the strongest and most
powerful beings on the planet. They have engaged in these
battles during their most vulnerable moments in life-when
the fierce protectiveness that keeps our babies safe is most
heightened – and yet – we have been lied to and our very
natures have been betrayed as we were informed that in
order for our children to live we must be cut and drugged
and sewn back together. Even as we allowed the liars to
take over our minds and submitted to the horror waiting in
cold, sterile rooms, our inner souls screamed, "Lies, Lies,
Lies" and we knew, under the layers of deception, the truth
about birth. We have experienced the worst that the world
has to offer mothers, and it is up to us to heal birth for
ourselves and for our posterity.
I would like to finish this first entry with the scripture
that is the theme for my current pregnancy. I am a
Mormon, and this scripture is a paraphrased chapter from
The Book of Mormon, Another testament of Jesus Christ. I
have put together several verses from Moroni Chapter
seven – and I read them every night before bed. I hope and
pray that these words give you the courage and strength I
enjoy each time I read and ponder them.
"And as surely as Christ liveth he spake these
words unto our fathers saying: Whatsoever thing
ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is
A Lotus Birth
good, in faith believing that ye shall receive,

behold it shall be done unto you. Wherefore, my
beloved brethren, have miracles ceased because
Christ hath ascended into heaven?…..Nay,
neither have Angels ceased to minister unto the
children of men. For behold they are subject unto
him, to minister according to the word of his
command, showing themselves unto them of
strong faith and a firm mind in every form of
Godliness…..Charity suffereth long, and is kind,
envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her
own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and
rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth,
beareth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all
things….Charity is the pure love of Christ…pray
unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that
ye may be filled with this love…."
May we all rejoice in the truth!
Jenny's Pregnancy Journal, Entry 2

June 1, 2002

A Lotus Birth
Paul and Jenny Hatch

Prenatal Care???
I am sitting here waiting for my massage therapist to
show up and she is ten minutes late, so I thought I would
write. I am concerned about her because she is usually
early.
I found her a few weeks into my pregnancy. She is a
young woman, newly married, and quietly serving her
clients either at her home or theirs. I feel so pampered when

A Lotus Birth
she shows up with her table, ready to work on my tired

body.
So far she has been my only prenatal care, not that the
medical profession would consider what she does to be
anything they consider crucial. Yet early in my pregnancy,
I felt my veins bulging as my blood volume increased, so
much so that the veins ached in a throbbing sensation that
was very painful.
One day I was very concerned that varicose veins
might start popping (my mother suffered horribly from
varicose veins), and I felt that I should get a massage right
away. I looked in an ad book that had showed up that day
and found this gal and called her that same day and was
able to get in right away.
As she worked really deeply on my muscles, the vein
pain started to diminish and by the end of the massage I felt
really good, like I was floating. I followed up the massage
with some wheat grass juice both orally and rectally to help
flush out the toxins she had stirred up.
I have had about eight massages since that first one,
and each time I feel like I am being given a precious gift.
The first time I connected with Wendy, I introduced her to
Unassisted Childbirth and gave her one of my business
cards with my web site on it. When we met for the next
massage she said that she had spent the whole week reading
about UC and was intrigued. Then she said, "It is not a very
popular way to give birth is it?" I just chuckled as she
explained that she had been enthusiastically talking about it
to all of her young friends and they had basically shut her
up with fear-based comments.

A Lotus Birth
It has been interesting discussing birth with her as she has

worked on me for the past three months. She and her
husband are carefully preparing for parenthood and doing
lots of research before they bring their little ones to the
planet. I am so proud of her efforts and want to praise her
as one of the most guided, curious, and questioning young
women I have ever met. She has given me great hope for
the future.
I know she will be a wonderful Mother, and her babies
will thrive with the effort she is putting out now to get
educated and prepared for this important task of Mothering.
I just called her, she is OK, I just had the wrong time down.
Wendy, giving me a prenatal massage in my bedroom a few

weeks before the birth

A Lotus Birth
Wow, a half hour with nothing planned. I guess I will

keep writing.
I have pondered much about prenatal care these past
few years. My big "A-HA!" moment came with the
realization that the main purpose of all those weight gain,
blood pressure, and urine tests during pregnancy are to
diagnose toxemia. I figured that as long as my diet had
adequate protein and I was keeping myself well hydrated
and eating plenty of salt, then why go to a physician who
was wasting my precious time attempting to identify a
disease that I knew I could prevent?
Recently a friend was diagnosed with gestational
diabetes. Not because her glucose was off, and not because
she had any serious symptoms, but simply because her
ultrasound showed that her baby was "getting too big". I
A Lotus Birth
have known several women who have been diagnosed with

toxemia with only one of the many symptoms, say
swelling, and then slapped in bed for a few weeks and
labeled high risk. As doctors get more controlling and use
any and all excuses for labeling women with one of the big
three (Toxemia, Gestational Diabetes, and high blood
pressure), women are going to have to take a hard look at
what exactly they have to offer in terms of "care".
It really gorks people out when you explain that you
are taking responsibility for your own and the baby’s
health, especially when you have private insurance. During
my third pregnancy, while I was busy teaching Bradley
classes, taking care of my two young daughters and using
the services of a wonderful private practice that
enthusiastically supported my choice of a VBAC, I really
started to question all of those office visits. I was very
busy, and felt having to run to the doctor every few weeks
was a waste of my time. My two year old was sucking the
life out of me with her intense nursing during the
pregnancy, and I needed every spare drop of energy to
build the new baby. I focused on my diet and getting
enough rest, but every time I had another scheduled
appointment with the doctors, it felt like the whole day was
devoted to my ten minute office visit.
As my pregnancy progressed normally and I thought
some more about nutrition, my continual refusal to do any
test (for gestational diabetes, amnio, and ultrasound), and
all of the wonderful parenting information I was constantly
filling my mind with, I started to question prenatal care for
the healthy mother.

A Lotus Birth
After the birth, which was a successful Natural

Bradley VBAC after I fired the doctor who showed up to
deliver, I vowed to myself that I would never again submit
to the care of a medical professional.
I had never felt drawn to midwives and knew enough
about home birth to feel comfortable doing it alone. But in
my mind, the big issue was prenatal care. I want to
emphasize something. I live in the state with the lowest c-
section rate (Colorado). I live in the most educated county
in the world (Boulder Colorado has more PhD’s than any
other county). I live in an Alternative Healing mecca,
where homebirth is supported and endorsed by hundreds of
alternative and mainstream doctors. I live in the same town
as a birth center that boasts one of the best infant outcomes
in the country. Whether that is because of the affluence of
the families who live here, the generally higher education
level, or the healthy lifestyles of the average couple, I don’t
know – it is probably a combination of the three. I would
say that Boulder Colorado is most likely the absolute best
place to have a hospital birth in the whole world.
However, even with all of that, I have no desire to
partake. I want the sanctity, the peace, and the joy of
birthing my child on my own bed. I want the freedom to
move around during my labor without being strapped to a
stupid monitor. I want to enjoy my pregnancy and not
spend hours in an office waiting for my turn to pee in a cup
and have my always low blood pressure checked, just in
case. I know how to prevent toxemia, why should I live in
fear that I will all of a sudden become malnourished?
I am proud of the professionals in my state who are
conscious and working hard to help women have better
A Lotus Birth
birth outcomes than the huge factory hospitals where

women are being processed like so much cattle in a meat
packing facility.
I have nothing personal against those who choose to
become part of the birth machine as a professional. But I
also am a professional. I am a professional mother. I have
dedicated my whole adult life to my children and husband.
Even when I was busy teaching childbirth and writing, that
only took about ten percent of my time. And those were
tasks I performed in my own home, usually with a nursing
baby in my lap. One of the great criticisms from friends and
family members as I have involved myself in the birth
reformation movement is; I am so passionate and
outspoken about birth, they have decided I must be
neglecting my family in order to do this work. Yet in the
past five years while we have struggled financially and I
was forced to find employment outside my home on four
occasions, no one questioned me leaving my family while I
cleaned toilets as a janitor, worked as a receptionist in a day
spa, taught kid dance at a health club, or tossed papers at 3
AM (that job only lasted a few weeks – it just about killed
me).
The few hundred dollars I was able to earn during the
hours when my husband could be home with the children
helped quite a bit while we walked through the valley of
financial destitution. No one questioned that work. In fact I
was highly supported emotionally while I killed myself
doing menial labor on top of my home duties (I did enjoy
working with the children teaching dance, mostly because I
could bring my little ones to work with me). The point is,
when mothers are engaged in the important "Work" of
A Lotus Birth
educating themselves and others to be able to stand up to

the birth machine, no one is going to be standing by ready
to hand them a paycheck when that "work" is
accomplished. In fact, occasional bombs of societal
rejection will be tossed in the general direction of the
families who decide to take personal responsibility for their
health or teach other’s to do so.
I have experienced those bombings and the resulting
fallout that has at times been so great, I wondered if I
would survive mentally and emotionally. Those of us who
are in tune enough to know something is very wrong with
current medical dogma regarding birth, tend to be very
sensitive individuals – we don’t revel in being "weird" or
"different". It hurts my feelings when other women get
uncomfortable when I walk into a room or make a
comment. I am not some dehumanized robot. I want to
have friends and feel like others enjoy my company.
I now go to extremes to make sure that I surround
myself with those people, books, music, and environment
that are supportive of my mothering choices. It was mainly
for this reason that I found it necessary to divorce myself
from the birth and baby machine. Almost every time I
interfaced with one of the highly paid "professionals" while
my first three children were babies, whether during birth or
for a "well-baby" office visit, I would leave the office in
tears, feeling defensive and unsupported in my choices.
Early on in my mothering, I lived for the occasional drop of
human kindness that was sometimes tossed to me like a
bone to a dog. This usually came in the form of a kindly
older woman, a stranger, who would praise me for
breastfeeding in public, or who would look me right in the
A Lotus Birth
eye and tell me I had beautiful children while we sat on the

bus or played at the park. I sometimes wondered if these
women were angels sent from God to comfort me because I
needed a pat on the back, while struggling against the tide
of mainstream parenting. These kindly souls had no idea
what those words meant to me as the nay-sayers, who knew
and understood my lifestyle choices, were constantly
looking for flaws in me and the children to prove to their
own little minds that natural parenting was just so much
hooey.
Now I am the older Mom and I make a point to say
kind words to strangers who are walking the lonely path.
When their eyes light up after I praise them for keeping
baby close in the sling, or for nursing, or whatever, I know
how they feel. May God bless all of us who are following
our hearts and doing what we KNOW is best for our
families. It takes great courage and faith to live the life of
the home schooling stay at home natural mother.
I praise my husband for walking this road with me.
Many, many times he did not understand why I wanted to
do or not do certain things. He didn’t have the hours that I
had to read and ponder, as he was working so hard to
provide for our family. But, I praise him for making it
possible for me to have the time to read and nurture my
babies the way my heart dictated, when so many women
are forced to work outside the home while the babies are
small.
I love being a mother, I love feeling the gentle kicks
that I know soon enough will turn into powerful thumps on
my bladder and ribcage. I love the sacredness of being
guided to know what is best for my baby. When other’s ask
A Lotus Birth
me who my doctor is, I am often tempted to tell them

"Jesus". He has guided my paths and led me gently by the
hand to a more gentle way. I often think about his birth, his
life. So simple, yet so very sacred. When he said, "come
follow me", I think he meant find Joy in simple living, in
being kind and loving and gentle. I don’t think if Mary
were pregnant today she would give birth to the savior of
the world after pitocin, epidural, forceps, episiotomy, and a
yanked out placenta. I think she would seek out a quiet
place where she could gently bring her son into the world. I
look forward to doing the same when this child is born in a
few months.
Jenny's Journal, Entry 3: Sacred Friendships

June 13, 2002

A Lotus Birth
My beautiful friend Susanna the day her fifth baby was

welcomed into her home.
Have you ever had a relationship with someone and

you just knew that the Angels in Heaven were pleased? I
have been best friends with a woman for eight years who
has been my spiritual mentor and almost every
conversation and interaction we have enjoyed together has
been filled with the Spirit of God.
I don’t say these things lightly, and not all of my
friendships over the years have contained this amount of
grace. In fact, early on, many of the girls who called me
friend usually had other things in mind when asking if they
could come over to play. I have three older brothers, all of
whom were good looking. I didn’t figure it out until I was
an older teen, but when I was 11 or 12, these "friends"
would always seek me out, wanting to spend time with me
and have sleep over parties. I was too naive to realize that
when they asked the spend the night and then casually said
"is Jim going to be home?" they weren’t seeking me out for
friendship, they were much more interested in getting to
know my brothers.
I have enjoyed many close relationships over the
years, and consider my friendships with the women who
are actively working on healing birth to be my sisters.
Laura, Jeannine, Lynn (who joyously gave birth to baby
Michael last week in a quick unassisted birth), Leilah,
Jennifer, Laurie, Amanda, Stephanie, and especially
Susanna have all dedicated time, money and great effort to
aid in this healing.
A Lotus Birth
When I met Susanna at church eight years ago, she

was very pregnant with her second baby and as I chatted
with her in the nursery that first day of our friendship, I had
a feeling that a relationship with her would be a great
blessing in my life. I invited her and her husband Robert
and daughter Camille over for Family Home Evening one
night. We enjoyed a quiet visit together and I asked her if
she would be willing for me to attend her birth. I was re-
certifying as a Bradley teacher and we were required to
attend one birth a year.
On the night Susanna gave birth to Robert James I
received a late night call from her mother requesting that I
come help, as her hubby had the flu. When I arrived at the
hospital I found her in extreme pain from a posterior
presentation. I did the counter pressure on her back needed
to relieve the back labor. Her husband did come to the
hospital a few hours later and I taught him how to do the
back massage, and then went home. Susanna was able to
give birth naturally and that night of work sealed our
friendship forever.
Over the next seven years we enjoyed thousands of
hours of fellowship together. She has given birth to three
more babies at home and I have had one. We taught
childbirth class together and spent countless hours on the
phone, mostly talking about spirituality and birth. We
shared books, insights, and testified to each other whenever
we discovered a new truth. We credit each other with
keeping our marriages in tact. We both had many times
when we were tempted to get divorced. We would try to
help each other see the good sides to our husbands and

A Lotus Birth
capitalize on the beauty of our marriages rather than getting

lost in the fog of day to day living.
My best friends over the years have been those souls
who I could completely relax and be myself with. I had a
terrible profanity habit for 20 years, and if I could swear
around my friends, I knew we were close. But Susanna
would not let me swear around her. She very diplomatically
let me know that she did not appreciate my foul mouth, and
in a gentle but firm way helped me to overcome that
terrible habit which is so offensive to the Holy Spirit.
For so many years I was in a protection mode of
guarding myself emotionally every time I stepped out my
door or answered the phone. If I ever felt comfortable
enough to let down my guard, say at a La Leche League
meeting or while visiting with other attachment parenting
Moms, I would share some of my unique views of birth,
testing the waters to get reactions and feedback from those
who were more open to natural things. I give my friends
credit; while most of them, even those into home birth,
were not willing or interested in getting into unassisted
birth, they didn’t completely dump me.
With Susanna however, I was able to bare my soul and
share EVERYTHING that was in my heart. This was so
important at the time, as I was actively searching for
answers to the hundreds of questions that plagued my mind.
As Mormons we believe that our destiny in eternity is
to be mothers. The rights and privileges of sexuality,
birthing, breastfeeding, and "eternal increase" as parents is
going to be given as a sacred gift to those of our Father’s
children who are the most obedient and live the most
righteous lives here on earth. This life is a probationary
A Lotus Birth
time for Father to figure out "who" will be deserving of

these blessings. And so this life is a test. And the main
purpose and "proving" of our lives is to see how we handle
family life.
I strongly believe that Father knew exactly how
damaging the 20th century would be to families. I often
think of my grandmother with her three torturous hospital
births in the 1930’s. The past century hit her like a ton of
bricks and her marriage did not survive. My grandfather
lost himself in alcohol and sexual addictions. How would
their life have been had he been able to welcome his sons in
the sanctity of his own bedroom, rather than suffer the pain
of being completely shut out of the process of birth? I
believe a compassionate and understanding Father will
perfectly judge all of these situations individually, taking
all factors into consideration when deciding who will be
given the highest calling of eternal parenthood.
Yet, in my interactions with my sisters at church who
know and understand these truths, I have had many confide
in me that if "this", meaning medicalized birth and
parenting, was what they could expect for all eternity, then
they were not interested and had NO DESIRE for an
eternity of mothering.
Some of the things said to me in confidence were; "if I
had known what a bother it was to have children, I never
would have had any", "if this is eternal motherhood, no
thanks". So many of my sisters in the gospel were hurting
with the physical and emotional scars inflicted during the
birthing process, (as was I), that I found myself asking
some very deep and pointed questions, both in prayer and
as I studied.
A Lotus Birth
I have asked these interesting questions of faith and belief

regarding motherhood my whole life. They started when I
would ask my mother questions about birth as a child and
she would consistently reply that many principles were
mysteries for now, but they would be answered in the
afterlife. I wasn’t willing to wait that long. I had Susanna as
my birth confidant and research partner for the seven years
she lived in Colorado. We were able to settle so many of
those awful questions in our hearts that didn’t make any
sense. Susanna is now writing a book titled A Christ
Centered Birth – where many of these issues will be
covered in detail and our insights gleaned from years of
research will be shared. Her web site is
www.ecomother.com
The number one question in my mind was/is, "Why
would Heavenly Father expect us as his daughters to go
through so much horror in bringing forth our young? Is all
this pain and sorrow really necessary?" I experienced many
of the pitfalls of motherhood, and as each scene would be
played out in my life, the questions just multiplied until all
I had was a jumble of emotions, feelings, and trauma all
mixed up in my conscious mind. As I started to sort
through the various issues on my mind in a careful and
logical way, I started down this road to sovereign family
living and gentle mothering.
The consistent lament of my husband as he would
listen to Susanna and I talk animatedly about birth at every
juncture was that if Heavenly Father was going to reveal a
new truth about birth, it would come from the prophet with
new revelations or from ancient texts, not from a couple of

A Lotus Birth
sleep deprived mothers in Colorado obsessed with the

childbirth process.
We have never claimed to have the "be all, end all
truth" for the world regarding birth. Mostly we wanted to
find out these answers for ourselves to bless our own
children and grandchildren. But we do claim to have been
guided by a spirit of truth that has renewed our minds,
broken down false traditions handed to us from our parents,
and has enlivened us with a desire to share true principles
with anyone who will listen.
I believe this has been the great purpose of our friendship. I
was on the road to isolating myself from everyone in my
family, my husband, and all my friends because of the
distress I felt from all this sewage swirling around in my
head. Having someone to talk with on a daily basis (I
believe our record for phone calls in one day was seven),
while I nursed, did dishes, washed clothes and mothered
my little ones kept me from going insane. At times the pain
of realization was so great I would call her in the middle of
the night and we would just cry and try to sort out our
feelings. Quite often when the phone would ring she would
say, "I knew you were going to call" or "I just woke to
nurse the baby and I was hoping you would call, guess
what I read today?"
Leilah has done a masterful job of describing what
happens when the truth is fully manifested in our minds.
Her words help to vent the emotion that bursts forth when
what I call the "scream" is tapped into. When a woman is
able to get on this frequency of understanding – the pain
that has been and is being inflicted on parents on a daily
basis all over the world – sometimes the emotion of feeling
A Lotus Birth
that pain is so great, the body has to shut down in order to

begin processing the shock of it. To keep a perfect
brightness of hope during this time of realization is so
important, as well as not judging our sisters who lose
themselves in hobbies, or drugs, or addictions, or anything
to run away from the pain of current reality.
Sometimes I am able to tap into Heavenly Father’s
pain, as he knowingly sends his little ones down to
situations where they will be needlessly tortured and
maimed. Why does he continue to do it? I don’t know. I
think maybe he shuts up the wombs of some families
because he knows they just won’t survive the horror – not
that those of us who give birth are any stronger or better
than these. But he has promised us that he will not test us
beyond our ability, and the soul shattering that can occur in
bringing forth a child today could be much more of a test
than infertility.
I do believe that in one day, literally, it is all going to
stop, and medicalized birth will have the plug pulled on it
by an all-knowing Father while we experience the full
range of prophecies outlined in the book of Revelations in
the Bible. When that day comes, I will be out on my lawn
dancing for joy, screaming "Babylon the great is fallen"!!!
The challenge is; until that time arrives we have to
keep the faith. Every day I try to live this charge given in
the Book of Mormon, "wherefore, ye must press forward
with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness
of hope and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye
shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and
endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father, Ye shall
have ETERNAL LIFE!" 2Nephi 31:20.
A Lotus Birth
I know that Susanna was given to me as a sacred gift in

answer to a fervent prayer given by a very lonely woman.
Even though our daily conversations stopped when she
moved back to California, every time we connect whether it
is a week or a month later, we pick up right where we left
off and I can always completely share my heart with her
without fear of it being trampled to pieces.
As we enjoyed another spirit filled, comforting
conversation last Sunday and I expressed to her the joy and
happiness I have been experiencing since this baby was
conceived and she warmly embraced me with her words, I
once again marveled at the beauty and love that I am able
to experience in this blessed friendship. I pray that all
women can at some time revel in the oneness we have felt.
We have truly been of one heart and one mind as we
searched for truth together, and our relationship was never
sullied by the common pitfalls of gossip, back-biting, envy,
and fruitless competition that marks so many female
relationships of today.
I pray that all of us in the birth reform movement can
tap into this sacred sisterhood and in all of our
conversations and interactions seek to obtain the great
blessings of friendship and love that are ours for the asking.
Jenny Hatch – whose baby has been kicking quite
delightfully as I have typed!
Jenny's Journal, Entry 4- Give us this day our daily

bread!
July 10, 2002
A Lotus Birth
our family with me at 30 weeks
It has been a month since I have posted an entry. I find

myself very busy. My "quiet" purposeful summer of baby
building has evolved into a typical "always on the go with
something to do" summer. The ages of my children
guarantee that we frequently have an activity facing us.
Scouts, ("you HAVE to come to pack meeting Mom, I have
to pin my Bobcat badge on you cause you’re my Mom"),
gymnastics, karate, day camp, girls camp, church parties,
swimming, graduations, wedding receptions, baby showers,
book club, scrapbook club, Stake temple night.
Yet, I have pushed back life to an amazing degree and
my husband does most of the driving when the children
have an activity, so what do I have to complain about? I’m
tired, frustrated that I don’t have more control over our
A Lotus Birth
schedule, diet, and sleep, and I would like nothing more

than to just hole up in some cocoon and have some sweet
person spoon feed me and massage my tired body all day
long.
My home duties have not changed in the least, I still
have just as much laundry to put away, dishes to be
washed, and clutter to pick up. Although I seem to always
have a messy house, I wonder how our home would look if
I didn’t do anything. I have to spend quite a bit of time
watering my roses, herbs, and wheat grass because of the
drought. The dog always needs a bath (rolled in skunk
spray again). I let my children wear the same outfits for a
couple days (hoping no one will notice). I tend three
children part time during the week. This is an easy source
of income for us, but I still have to be dressed, the house
somewhat picked up, and "tuned in" to a higher degree
when other people’s children are in my care. My daughters
do most of the tending, playing with the two babies we
watch, and the third child is no problem – she just plays
with my ten year old the whole time she is here. But it is
one more thing to occupy my time and energy.
We decided to continue with our school schedule during
the summer, just three days a week. We do school Monday,
Tuesday and Thursday from 7:30 to noon. Today is
Wednesday and while I feel like I have the time to write, I
have been interrupted about fifty times to settle quarrels,
switch over the laundry, feed the dog, help my daughter
find her swim suit, put breakfast on the table, talk on the
phone (four people called), make my own breakfast (the
kids ate cold cereal – I let them have simple breakfasts on

A Lotus Birth
the days we don’t do school), I made up hot cracked Kamut

with Flax seeds for me.
Recipe:
Crack up whole organic Kamut, about 1 cup, (I
have a hand crank oatmeal maker, but this can
also be blended in a regular blender, or crushed
with rocks if you want the authentic experience!)
I hard boil a tablespoon of whole flax seeds with
a generous tablespoon of sea salt in a pan of
water (quart of water) for twenty minutes, turn
down the heat to low and add in the cracked
kamut. I let it slow cook for about an hour. Then
I put it in a bowl with a huge dollop of fresh
organic butter and some brown sugar. I think this
is one of the best baby and breast milk making
foods we can eat!!!
I have noticed my children are much happier when
they have a little structure. The weeks we have "taken a
break" from our regular schedule, they tend to fight more,
get on my nerves, and the house is messier because they
have so many hours in the day for "free play". Our school
schedule keeps them organized and focused. Here is a
typical school day.
We wake up between 7:00-7:30. Paul gathers the
children around the kitchen table. He teaches history for
one hour. This week he has focused on the history of
music. He brought home some great tapes from the library
and has been using them to teach the children the different

A Lotus Birth
sounds of an orchestra. I work in the kitchen making

breakfast, doing dishes, and getting the day going food-
wise. I usually make pancakes, waffles, cracked kamut or
wheat cereal, oatmeal, or scrambled eggs for our breakfast.
We almost always have a protein shake and fresh fruit with
whatever I cook. I generally bake a couple pans of muffins
for our "on the go" food during the day at this time as well.
Me with a 25 pound bag of Kamut, flax seeds,

muffins, a bowl of Kamut porridge, and my hand
crank oatmeal maker

A Lotus Birth
When friends ask me what I am giving my children for

food every day I generally respond that I am building them
on muffins. I think they are the perfect kid food!
Muffin recipe:
Here is my recipe for great home-made muffins.
Makes12 large.
• 2 C. Fresh flour – The first kitchen tool we
purchased back in 1989 was an electric
wheat grinder with a fifty-pound bag of
wheat. I have used this faithful little
machine almost every day since to freshly
and quickly grind our grains for flour!
Wheat (white or red), Kamut, Spelt, or
Barley work best for this recipe.
• 1/2 C. Flax seeds – I throw these in to grind
with the wheat. You can purchase fresh flax
meal at the health food store and mix this
with fresh flour if you don’t have a wheat
grinder that can process oily seeds.
• 1 TBS sea salt
• 1 TSP baking soda
• 1 TSP baking powder
• 1/2 C. sweetener – (sugar, honey, maple
syrup, brown rice syrup, or Fruitsource)
• 1/2 C. Olive oil
• 2 Large eggs
• about 1/2 C. Milk (cow, goat, soy, rice,
etc…) *You can play around with the milk a
little. Depending on which grain you use

A Lotus Birth
will determine how wet you want your

dough. It takes a little practice to get the
right consistency. The dough should be
thick. However, even if you mess up the
recipe, most kids will eat a home cooked
muffin, especially if it is slathered with
butter and honey.
Gently mix all ingredients together, put in muffin
pan and bake for 20 minutes at 375 degrees. If
you let them "rise" for 1/2 hour before baking
they will be more light and fluffy.
Paul has been interweaving church history into
whatever he teaches, and will stop and ask the children why
the year 1830 (or whatever) was important to us as
Mormons, if he comes across that date in some other
history. About 8:15 we are usually eating and finishing up
the history lesson, and then we clear up the table and read
our Book of Mormon together. We have the children each
read a verse. Then we kneel in a circle, hold hands, and
have a family prayer together. We follow the prayer with "I
love You’s". We hug and kiss each other on the cheek and
say, "I love you" to each other. It is so great to get five hugs
and five kisses each morning from those I love best!
After Dad goes to work (less than a mile away), we
clean up for a half hour or so – do dishes, tidy up the living
room. Then we pull out our school books and get busy with
Math (use all Saxon curriculum), Language Arts (Learning
Language arts through Literature), and once in a while I
will give a grammar, Spanish, or art lesson using the

A Lotus Birth
various wonderful curriculums we have purchased. I

bought most of our curriculums from either Latter Day
Family resources - or the Elijah Company.
My big focus this year has been teaching my five year
old to read, and the older children mostly are able to do
their work without my help. My oldest daughter, age 13,
has been taking an 8th grade Earth Science class all year
from the BYU independent study department, and generally
needs a really good "kick in the pants" to get motivated to
keep on task with that class. We finish up school by noon
when Dad comes home for lunch.
I cook up our big meal for the day at noon. Yesterday
I made home made burritos with fresh pinto and black
beans, yogurt, salsa, corn and organic flour tortillas, cheese,
lettuce, salad, and milk. I get the same satisfaction out of
watching my children eat the foods I cook, as I do
observing my newborns fatten up on my milk. The bite in
all of this "cookin from scratch" is that my children would
much prefer a lunchable or a trip to Macdonalds over my
home made food. But our family food budget and my
nutrition ideals keep me in the kitchen most days. The
constant need to beat back the food advertisers and
neighbors and friends always offering my kids sugar is a
daily battle, and hopefully the time will come when they
prefer whole foods to the packaged sugar and chemicals of
the major food corporations. Advertisers understand how
children think and capitalize on this when whetting their
little appetites with junk food.
Our morning is interspersed with lots of eating, potty
breaks, some chit-chat, and usually a trip to the park for
some exercise and fresh air. Although it’s been so hot, dry,
A Lotus Birth
and smoky from the Colorado fires, none of us really enjoy

being out too much this summer. I work with my five year
old for a half hour (we do one phonics lesson, ten math
problems, and a little writing practice). Then he plays with
his toys and I help the older children a little.
I have been highly influenced by the writings of Dr.
Art Robinson and we are actively evolving to the day he
outlines as being ideal for the home schooling parent of a
large family. His essays on self-teaching have been
inspiring to me and I have returned to his website again and
again for further insight and education the past years as we
have struggled to know what is best for our children. To my
way of thinking, his ideas combine perfectly an un-
schooling approach with high expectations and goals.
Early on I had to face the stark reality that most children (at
least from what I have observed in my own family) tend to
be quite satisfied with watching videos and playing play
station all day long. It is the rare child who is disciplined
enough to take on the task of learning math, grammar,
language, science, and history. So we have slowly evolved
from complete unschooling (nothing structured) to a very
focused morning of learning, and it feels good for our
family. This year we joined our local library’s summer
reading program and it has been fun for the children to get
stickers and other rewards for spending time with books.
I suppose the feeling in my heart this day is that this
work is difficult and challenging. At times I feel
overwhelmed and just want to stay in bed all day
(sometimes I do exactly that!). But when I cave to the
pressure and take a day off, I have double the work facing
me the next morning and so I have learned that doing a
A Lotus Birth
little each day is better than nothing. I have been carefully

letting everyone know of my plans to do a four-month
seclusion. One month before the due date and three months
after. Four months (a fourth trimester) with which to do
nothing outside my home, and have little contact with any
of my friends and neighbors. I have been letting people
know of this intention, and quietly de-cluttering my life all
through this pregnancy. This week I stepped it up another
notch by leaving my favorite chat rooms on the web, and
telling friends who call on the phone that I don’t have time
to talk. I also sent a gift package to my sister who has a
baby due seven weeks after mine. I let her know that she
will be in my thoughts and prayers, but that I was sending
her gift early and didn’t want to feel pressured to do
something for her while I am postpartum.
I pulled out all the baby clothes and my supply of
cloth diapers and have been washing them and sewing new
receiving blankets, (I bought the flannel at Wal-mart during
my first trimester, so when I had a few moments, I could do
this sewing) we put it off until now!!! I want to have
everything washed, clean, and ready by my 8th month so I
can focus on building my child’s brain, which grows the
fastest during the final weeks of pregnancy and the first
four months after birth.
I re-read Gail Krebs' The Brewer Pregnancy Hotline
this past week to motivate myself with eating well. This e-
book is a combination of her classics, What every pregnant
woman should know and The Brewer Medical Diet as well
as all the current research on pregnancy nutrition. I have a
link to this e-book on my web site. Go to
www.naturalfamilyco.com for the link to the greatest book
A Lotus Birth
on pregnancy nutrition ever written. I believe if this were

the only book a woman was to study during pregnancy, it
would be the best investment of her time and money.
I believe healthy pregnancy comes down to a healthy
day-to-day life. As we work teaching and training and
nourishing our little ones, a quiet daily lifestyle is the best
insurance for the physical health and intellectual/spiritual
well being of our children. I love the prayer in the
scriptures "give us this day our daily bread". Daily bread, (I
don’t think Jesus had in mind a white fluffy loaf of wonder
bread (wonder glue) when he was teaching the Lord’s
prayer) daily study, daily growth, daily love, and daily
gratitude for our lives are what lead to a healthy family. It
has taken me years to get to this point in my mothering, and
I am still so far from the ideal I envision, that I get
overwhelmed just thinking about the new skills and daily
practices I want to implement into our home life (Live
goats/fresh goat milk and a huge vegetable garden come to
mind). But we are making progress.
By 1:00 PM I have finished the most important tasks
of my day, and we slowly start to wind down for the
evening. I take a nap or read from 1PM to 3PM and then
we have our afternoon time of playing with friends,
attending lessons, practicing piano and I let the children
watch TV and play video games, and just do what they
want while I cook, read, sew, exercise, laundry, internet
study, or just vegetate depending on how I feel. In the
evenings we have a simple supper and then some evening
activities at church or with friends, tv, reading, singing, and
we are in bed most nights by 10:00PM.

A Lotus Birth
Every time I feel overwhelmed by life, I lower my

expectations. I have no illusions about how our life is going
to change when our little one arrives in October. The whole
house will revolve around the needs of this precious being.
As my children observe the daily work that is involved in
the care of a newborn, I pray that they will have imbedded
in their minds the sacredness and daily effort needed to
provide what is ideal for a new baby. Yet I can’t help but
believe that our home life will continue to revolve around
my kitchen, where all good things related to babies and
children are manufactured. I like to think of myself as a
family scientist who goes into my lab every day to mix up
the potions for building a healthy child. As my daughters
especially observe this most important work, I hope they
can get a sense of the joyfulness that accompanies the work
to provide our daily bread.
Some days it is drudgery and those are the days when
I order Dominos pizza, but most days I love the feel of
grains being crushed as I wind the wheel of my hand crank
wheat grinder, or peel the carrots, or juice the wheat grass. I
love the smell of freshly baked muffins, the soup
simmering on the stove, or the casserole bubbling in the
oven. I feel a sense of accomplishment and great purpose
every time my family gobbles up something I have
prepared for them. I love placing a freshly washed cotton
outfit, which has dangled on the clothesline in the sunshine
for a couple hours, on my sweet smelling, newly bathed,
and aromatherapy massaged newborn.
I pray that my generation of mothers can overcome the
propaganda of the those who demean and degrade our
work. We have been carefully brainwashed to believe that
A Lotus Birth
the daily work of raising a healthy family is less than those

who become a great heart or brain surgeon, or an attorney,
or a college professor or a chef. We who are growing the
next generation of parents are continually pushing against
this tide of professionalism.
It takes much confidence and clarity to understand that a
freshly laundered cloth diaper, a breast full of luscious
breast milk, gentle rocking, mommy’s arms, and a lullaby
are all that a baby need to THRIVE!
Andrew's Birth
Andrew in Kindergarten
A Lotus Birth
Leilah asked me to write this story today. It is a

different experience writing this story five years after the
fact than it was right after it happened.
I had a 45 week pregnancy with my fourth baby in
1996. I know exactly when the first day of my last period
was and Andrew was born 45 weeks to the day after that
date. However, I also know when he was conceived, and
his gestation from conception was exactly 42 weeks,
because I tend to ovulate in the third week of my cycle and
have 35 day periods. Anyway....
After my third hospital birth in 94, a successful VBAC
that restored my faith in my body, I came across Laura
Shanley's book "Unassisted Childbirth" at our local library.
Laura had signed the book and I had a feeling that she was
a fellow Boulderite, living in Colorado. I looked in our
local phone book and there she was. I read her book in one
day and that night I was talking to her on the phone. I told
her how great the book was and we exchanged phone
numbers. Reading her book gave me the confidence to tell
my husband that I would never again birth in a hospital and
that if he wanted to have anymore children with me, we
were doing it at home alone. I do NOT recommend giving
ultimatums to one's spouse. It created untold stress in our
marriage. Rather I believe it is wisdom to gradually share
the truths of self-sufficient living with one's spouse, and
trust that ultimately the truth will set you free to give birth
how you want.
My husband was supportive of me doing my own
prenatal care. We had worked as Bradley childbirth
teachers for eight years and Paul knew that I knew more
A Lotus Birth
about how to build a healthy child than any MD. As my

pregnancy progressed, I became convinced that I was
having twins- as I was so much larger than my previous
pregnancies, which had all resulted in babies eight pounds
or more. I decided to eat the twins diet described in
Elisabeth Noble's book Having Twins, which included 150
grams of protein daily and 4500 calories a day.
I was tandem nursing my one and three year-olds
when I conceived, and decided to cut off my daughter. She
turned four during the pregnancy and I felt like I was
falling to pieces nursing her while pregnant. She was a
really intense nurser from day one- probably because of her
c-section delivery- and it was not easy to cut her off, but I
had to. I continued to let my son nurse a couple times a
day, and trusted that my high calorie diet and the focus on
protein would protect the baby.
During my first trimester I was VERY tempted to go
get an ultrasound to see if it was twins. The day that I
finally decided to call my MD, I had a warning dream that
made it very clear that if I had an ultrasound, it would be
BAD, so I did not do it and instead focused on my diet.
About the fourth month I decided to radically change
my diet and switched to a vegan 80% raw foods diet and
used protein drinks to get most of my protein. I have since
become converted to the Weston Price way of thinking and
am doing my current pregnancy based on the principles of
his book Nutrition and Physical Degeneration. I believe my
high soy diet contributed to my baby's thin cord, and my
postpartum bleed that reduced me down to a 4.7 hematocrit
after my UC. I also did not have enough nutrient-dense
foods in my diet, and although I am sure I was not iron or
A Lotus Birth
protein deficient during this pregnancy, getting those

nutrients from supplements and soy protein may not have
been the best choice.
Anyway, I was very disciplined in my diet and was
eating literally all day long. I drank a quart of fresh juice
every day (carrot, celery, parsley, chard, kale, spinach, and
beet tops). I also have a wheat grinder and used it daily to
freshly grind my grains, beans and seeds to be slow cooked
as hot cereal. I ate organic wheat, rye, kamut, spelt, oats,
barley, flax, sesame as well as aduki, black, red, white and
pinto beans. I felt this variety would give me a whole range
of nutrients and they tasted great. The rest of the day, I was
munching on fresh organic produce, seeds and sprouts.
Every night I drank a two quart bottle of water with liquid
minerals and sea salt in it. This nighttime hydrating was
essential during our dry hot summer. I had a great energetic
pregnancy, and when my colostrum came in it was pure
white and very liquidy, like nectar. I wondered if the sticky,
thick yellow colostrum of my other pregnancies was
because of dehydration. My two year old gulped down the
colostrum like milk and loved the taste of it.
I started contractions almost the minute I was pregnant and
continued throughout. Towards the final weeks I believed I
was in labor about a thousand times. We had the hottest
August on record in Colorado, and I sweated through with
no air conditioning. My husband bought me a pool from
Toys R Us, and every night we would fill it with tepid
water and I would go out on our deck and lay in it for hours
to take the weight off my body and cool down. I had quite a
few people express fear about our plans to birth alone. We
didn't tell my husband's parents until afterwards, and my
A Lotus Birth
parents really tried to be supportive, but I know they were

scared.
As each day slowly went by I was so ready for the
baby. I was frustrated, because I would sterilize my
bathroom thinking the birth was imminent, then a few days
would go by and I would have to do it again. I finally got
down to the wire and knew that we were close, I had been
having tons of pubic bone pain- could really feel the
ligaments stretching, and my contractions would come
every night for the last six weeks, regular for five or six
hours every five minutes. This experience really made me
wonder about all the women on bed rest for "premature"
labor, and especially those who ran to the hospital with the
first twinge and then gave birth to a three pounder after a
"failure to progress" labor.
The day before Andy was born, I went to my
chiropractor and he gave me a good adjustment and an
acupuncture treatment to align everything. He also gave me
a blue and black cohosh tincture to help jump start labor. I
went home and took quite a bit of the tincture throughout
the rest of the day. (Later I learned that these powerful
herbs can cause a hemorrhage if not gradually used during
the last few weeks of pregnancy). This day of use was the
first time I had ever taken either herb, and I know they
contributed to my short fast labor, and also the extreme
bleeding afterwards.
The morning of Andy's birth Sept. 7, 1996 Paul and I
awoke and made love twice. A steady rhythm of
contractions began and I just knew in my heart that Andrew
was going to be born that morning. I had visualized a late
night six hour labor in my cad pool. I ended up with a three
A Lotus Birth
and a half hour labor on a cloudy Saturday morning. As I

contracted, I vocalized in a loud AHHHHHH that easily
moved the energy up and out of my uterus and allowed me
to do this labor painlessly and alone. All of a sudden, I felt
like squatting and Andrew rushed down the birth canal. I
felt him crown in that one major movement! I waited five
minutes and then felt like I should stand in a standing squat.
As the contraction came on his head slowly emerged from
my body. I called to Paul to come into the bedroom. He did
and surprised said, "That's a head... it looks funny, oh I
know, the water hasn't broken yet" I asked him to wash his
hands. He asked our older children if they wanted to watch
the baby being born and they said no they wanted to watch
Saturday morning cartoons. My son Jeff who was two did
come in and see Andy emerge from my body. Later he
would go up to the neighbors and say "Andrew came out of
Mom's butt".
During the final five minutes of the birth I could feel
Andrew doing this back and forth motion with his
shoulders and kicking hard with his feet. He was so ready
to come out and he was trying to help! Paul came into the
bedroom, and I felt like I should drop down on all fours. As
the contraction started, Andy just slowly emerged
completely encased in the sac. Paul gently caught him.
Then the cord ruptured right by his navel and the sac broke
spilling fluid all over the floor.
Andy was pink and beautiful but he was very floppy,
and was not breathing. I was so surprised as I had felt him
moving seconds before. He just lay there quietly not
moving or anything. I tried a little finger swipe and puffed
a little into his mouth. Then Paul took him and gave him a
A Lotus Birth
blessing and commanded him to breathe, but nothing

happened. Paul said, "Jen I am in over my head I am going
to call 911". I told him I was not going to sit there and
watch my son die, and supported him calling for help. I
kept working on him, not really clued into the fact that I
was bleeding my life away- literally gushing blood all over
the floor. I just kept puffing into his mouth and trying to do
a little Heimlich maneuver.
Literally within seconds of Paul calling 911 we heard
a pounding on our door. A volunteer fireman named Shawn
who lived a few blocks away from us had heard the call
come in over his radio and he decided to just come to our
house to help rather than check into the firestation first
(which was also less than a mile away from our home).
Shawn bounded up the stairs after the girls let him in. I
handed Andrew to him and he said he just "knew what to
do" even though he had never been taught this technique. I
call it "Shawn's suck and spit baby survival system". He put
his mouth over Andrew's mouth and nose and hoovered
him with his own mouth and then spit out the fluid, which
he said was clear, and just a little bit stuck in his throat.
Then he gave Andy three puffs of air and he opened his
eyes. I truly believe that if Shawn had handed the baby
back to me and left we would have been just fine.
But by the time he got Andy going, half our town's
fire and police departments had shown up at our little
townhouse and Shawn handed the baby off to the EMT's.
They immediately intubated him and took him to the
hospital. I was sitting naked in my room in a pool of blood,
and seven firemen came into my room to "help" me. They
inserted an IV to my collapsing veins, as I was going into
A Lotus Birth
shock and then brought up this chair and bumped me down

the stairs to the ambulance.
I arrived at our local hospital and spent the next three
days doing all in my power to get myself and Andrew
home. The fact that he and I were both home by the next
Tuesday was a miracle of amazing proportions. If you want
to read the details of my hospital experience, our
adventures with social services, and our eventual bonding
after a very frustrating beginning, go to my and get my
book "A Mother's Journey" to read about not only these
experiences, but all of the ups and downs of our journey to
unassisted birth. I don't have the time or the gumption to
write it all again.
Andrew weighed 11 pounds 12 ounces, was 23 inches
long, and had a 15 inch head. The fact that I birthed him
with three pushing contractions, no tears and no perineal
damage was an amazing witness to me of being able to
birth in the position I wanted. I am still committed to UC,
despite our traumas and the harsh treatment by the powers
that be. Even though these past five years have been a
challenge because of the fallout from his birth (people
throwing it in my face and telling me my life choices were
a threat to my children etc...), I am still determined to birth
at home alone. There is no going back to the hospital after
feeling the freedom of being in control of my own
pregnancy and birth.
I hope that this time things will go well, and if they
don't we will just deal with it. My husband is again
supportive of me doing my own prenatal care, and we plan
to have an educated friend come over during the labor to
help us out if we have problems after. This is the
A Lotus Birth
compromise that both of us can live with after five years of

discussion.
I hope I haven't scared anyone from UC. Andrew's
birth taught me that even with all sorts of physical,
spiritual, and emotional preparation, we have no guarantees
of things going perfectly.
I look at this perfect son and I just feel gladness now.
He is my joy. I have read other difficult birth stories, and
the Mothers always seem to talk about how that baby is
their most obedient, well behaved and loving child. This
has certainly been the case with my jolly giant. He has
continued to grow at an alarming rate, passing up his older
brother in weight and size. The loving, peaceable spirit he
has brought into our home has far outweighed any
discomfort and trauma surrounding his birth.
[Another note from Leilah: one way to reduce trauma in
babies is by never cutting the umbilical cord just after
birth.(Jenny didn't, but this is important to note here.)
Meconium, excess fluids- respiratory problems brought
about by these can be prevented by not forcing the baby to
breathe too soon by cutting the cord.

A Lotus Birth
Jenny's children with Liberty, the family dog
Jenny's Journal, Entry 5: "Labor" Day

September 2, 2002
Today is my blessing way.
I feel so good. Jeannine and Rico Baker are coming to
help with the ceremony. They just happened to be in
Colorado this weekend for an herb conference and we
scheduled the party around them being here. Laura and
David Shanley are also planning to come as well as many
birth friends, friends from church, and neighbors. I also had
a call from a gal who is thinking about Freebirth. She and
her husband had contacted Laura and she gave them my
number. As I chatted with Nadine last week for an hour, I
had the feeling that it would be good for her to come to the
party even though we have never met. I hope she does
come.
A Lotus Birth
The baby has been so active this month. I don't

remember having a child who moved this much in the third
trimester. We have been working hard to reorganize our
living space. We put the girls down in the basement and
switched bedrooms with the boys. We had a crew of six
men from church over to help with odd jobs last weekend
and a group of ladies came to help me clean and organize
the bedrooms. I was so grateful for this help. It gave me the
mental boost I needed to really get serious about deep
cleaning and we even painted our bedroom. I put a whole
bottle of essential oils in the paint to help with off gassing
and was faithful about wearing a paint mask with essential
oils dropped over the mouth portion to protect the baby.
My dear friend Marlene and her son came by
yesterday to help with washing the windows and putting up
drapes. I had taken everything down to wash and iron and it
felt so good to get that project finished. I don't think I have
ever felt this prepared before giving birth in terms of my
house, my children, and my life. The physical and
emotional support of these wonderful friends has made this
possible. It is amazing to me how willing people are to lend
a hand if they just know that you need a little help. Paul has
been pulling 75+ hour work weeks since July and I was
getting nervous about all the work we had planned to do
before the birth. Finally I just decided to ask, and the
response was amazing!
We had all three of the older children tested last month
because of state laws regarding home school. It is so
hilarious to me that they only have to get a 13% on the
standardized test to pass along to the next grade. I told them
about this and said not to sweat the test. I figured even if
A Lotus Birth
they answered the questions randomly they would pass.

They all had Father's blessings from Paul the night before
we began testing at the Boulder Sylvan Learning center. He
has given these blessings at the beginning of the school
year for the past few years. The next morning I fed them a
good breakfast, encouraged them to do their best and
reminded them to pray if they came to a particularly
difficult question.
Over a week and a half span they were tested three
times, in Math, Reading, and Writing. When I went in to
get the results, I was amazed to learn that all three children
are above grade level and my oldest daughter did perfectly
on her 7th grade Math test. I suppose amazed is not the best
word, as I know the children are smart– it's just that we had
never had them tested by anyone before, and you always
wonder as a home schooling parent how well they are
doing academically. They did the California Test and we
plan to continue using the services of this center for as long
as needed. We have to test them every other year and send
the results to the district.
Early on as I was getting educated about home school,
I never felt like I would care what the "powers that be" said
about my children's intelligence or test results or whatever
as my study of educational research had taught me that the
education establishment was just so much cock and bull.
But that was before we experienced all the questioning
from family and friends over this choice. It is a "little"
validating to have a piece of paper to show to the naysayers
proving that our children are not being academically
damaged by our efforts and that they are in fact doing
better than over half of American school children.
A Lotus Birth
Today is the final day I plan to be "out". I went

shopping to get the food and flowers for the party and said
to myself, this is the last time I will be in a grocery store for
a LONG time. I plan to stay home for the next four months,
literally not go anywhere and have minimal contact with
anyone. I am very curious to see how this goes. I have told
all of my family, friends, and neighbors of this intention, I
am just curious to see the response from them when I
actually do it.
I need to run, I am going to bake several dozens
muffins this morning before the party begins at 10:00AM. I
feel as prepared as possible for things to go well with my
birth, post partum, and bonding with my child. It is a good
feeling and I pray that this 4th trimester goes according to
plan. I feel no fear, just simple curiosity to see if my vision
of how it could be lines up with reality.
Jenny's Journal, Journal Entry 6:
My Blessing Way
With commentary on the Primal Mama Lifestyle from
my experience and perspective, By Jenny Marie Hatch
Laura Shanley, Rico Baker, Jeannine Baker, Jenny,

Paul, and Shelly Hatch
A Lotus Birth
Sunday September 8th, 2002

Yesterday I called Jeannine Parvati Baker to integrate
what happened during our blessing way last Monday (labor
day). She offered this to me as a final gift before the birth
of our fifth baby in a few weeks. We had intended to talk
for thirty minutes, but went way beyond that time, and she
said it was her gift to the baby and I to have a chance to
chat freely.
The timing was interesting to me as yesterday was the
sixth anniversary of my first Freebirth. My son Andrew
turned six yesterday, and I called Jeannine asking if we
could talk during that time, as it was the exact moment that
I was in labor, on a Saturday morning, six years ago. She
agreed and we had a wonderful discussion. I realized as we
hung up the phone that our conversation ended right about
the time I had a quick five-minute transition and started
pushing Andrew into the world – about 9:30 AM. He was
born after four pushes at 9:52AM.
This pregnancy has been a healing time for us. We
conceived in January. My husband Paul has known for
years that if we had another baby I would want to do my
own prenatal care, as I did with Andrew six years ago, and
was not surprised when I did exactly that for the past eight
months. What was a surprise to me however, was how my
life organized itself to allow me to use Jeannine and Rico
as my Shamanic Midwives, much the same way that Laura
and David Shanley were my mentors during Andrew's
pregnancy. I don't know why I have been so blessed to
have these pioneers as such an intimate part of my life. But
I will take what I have been given and just say that it has

A Lotus Birth
been exciting to develop deep friendships with these souls

who are working so diligently to heal birth.
I first discovered Unassisted Childbirth in 1989 when I
read about Pat Carter's League of empowered women, and I
determined then that one day I would join her league by
giving birth alone. How exciting for me to be able to have
deep and passionate discussions through email and on the
phone with these wonderful sisters while pregnant, being
mentored and encouraged by those who have lived such
amazing pioneering lives and then been passionate enough
to write and share of their experiences!
We transferred to the hospital shortly after Andrew's
birth for help with his breathing and my bleeding. Laura
believes my background in musical theatre called for a
dramatic birth and Jeannine has also expressed that a need
for drama expresses itself through those types of realities. I
don't know why I had such a wild time after that birth,
when all I wanted was a quiet bonding with my child after
his entry into the world, but the trauma of the firemen,
ambulances, helicopter, and Newborn Intensive Care Unit
resulted in me questioning everything about our life.
As we struggled through this time, made more
challenging by Paul experiencing debilitating panic attacks,
horrible food allergies with a gluten intolerance that caused
us to give up vegetarian eating, and terrible financial
difficulties that required me to work outside our home off
and on for a few years, I experienced a sort of valley after
our peak empowering experience of taking personal
responsibility for the health of my beautiful son during his
gestation and birth.

A Lotus Birth
I have thought long and hard what this "valley" of

darkness after Andrew's birth was all about. A scripture
comes to mind when I think of this time. It is from the
Book of Mormon and says:
"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat
concerning these things; I would show unto the
world that FAITH is things which are hoped for
and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye
see not, for ye receive no witness until after the
trial of your FAITH" Ether 12:6
I believe now that this time was the trial of my faith.
Sometimes God gives us enough light and truth to
encourage us to take a different path, but then he lets us
struggle somewhat as we learn by our own experience to
know the bitter from the sweet. As we struggled through
this time, I learned to embrace my family and friends who
had lifestyles different than ours. From what I could see,
many who were living a mainstream life were doing a
fabulous job raising loving, intelligent children. While our
children participated in public school for the first time, I
roasted my first pot roast, and we immersed ourselves more
fully in American culture by participating in Halloween
trick or treating, and other types of activities that I had
formerly deemed too "toxic" for my children, I was forced
to take a step back from my ideals and wonder how much
"purity" and "wholeness" was really necessary to raise a
close family.
It seemed to me that the discomfort our lifestyle
brought upon others, who then expressed their distress to us

A Lotus Birth
in a variety of ways had to be a facto in all of these

decisions regarding how "alternative" we were going to be
in our home life.
For some families, this rejection and scrutiny could weaken
the ties that bind us together and cause a breech in our
intimacy as a couple. One of Paul's constant laments in the
early year's was, "why do we always have to be the weird
ones?" I believe this time of reevaluation was a chance for
us to integrate and process the trauma that had troubled our
marriage. Paul's perception over the years was that I would
rush from one book to another, take a flying leap into the
unknown with him and the children quietly standing by
flustered and uncomfortable. He told me once that every
time I returned home from the Library with a stack of
books, he would cringe wondering what was next.
As I raced from natural childbirth to vegetarianism to
not immunizing, to pushing all the beds in the house
together, to breastfeeding a four year old, to unschooling,
and finally to the mother of them all…. Unassisted
Childbirth… he was left wondering what sort of an
irresponsible nut case he had married?
As we have talked, negotiated, and become more
accepting of each other as a couple– the give and take
needed for our marriage to survive has required both of us
to sacrifice some ideals. Paul has always thought
unschooling was a bunch of hooey, and so we teach the
children four hours a day of structured home school. I will
never be comfortable giving birth in a medical
environment, and so has done his best to support me
through this pregnancy, even after a "botched" UC. I cook a
more mainstream diet, and we are more focused on
A Lotus Birth
teaching our children correct principles and letting them

govern themselves, than we are in controlling every aspect
of their lives.
The confidence I feel NOW in regards to all of this
primal mothering is more quiet and clear, with the sober
understanding that this lifestyle, while wonderful in most
ways, has it's drawbacks and pitfalls. Some of these pitfalls
are the loneliness and feelings of isolation the family may
experience. A lack of community for our husbands and
children is also a very real phenomenon. We mothers may
feel supported, validated, and nurtured by friend's from all
across the world in our vast internet outreach, or in
mothering circles in our community. But our husband's and
older children may not, and this lack of support for our
partners may lead to a divorce. Our children may also feel
they are "missing out" by not attending school, and our
husband's may be flat out rejected by peers who feel
uncomfortable with these life choices. Men are already
isolated in our western society and to add one more layer of
isolation may tip the scales over to a family breakup.
Most truth in life is so surrounded by warfare that
often it is difficult to clearly see and quantify what it is
exactly that we are doing as parents. The ultimate payoff
may not be felt for years, or even generations. But through
the quiet, purposeful daily practice of nurturing, teaching,
and loving our little ones in a very conscious way– we are
battling all that is evil on the planet. As I have renewed my
testimony and faith in the truths surrounding primal
parenting during this very conscious pregnancy, a quiet yet
firm confidence has welled up in my heart. This is the right
lifestyle for US! And with loving compromise every family
A Lotus Birth
can determine the principles and practices that are

important to them! One of the ceremonies that I knew I
wanted to manifest in this pregnancy was the Blessing
Way.
Early in my pregnancy, I was clear that the greatest
gift I could give to my husband and children was the
experience of the blessing way. I felt somewhat shy and
embarrassed to organize my own ceremony– but had a very
clear vision of how I wanted it to go. I felt confident that if
I did nothing else during this child's gestation– the feelings
and power associated with a family blessing way would be
the most important "prenatal care" we could experience.
So, being the little red hen that I am, I set out to create the
ceremony that would serve our family best.
I contacted Jeannine and asked her if she and Rico
were coming to Colorado at all during my pregnancy. She
told me that they would be in town over Labor Day
weekend. It was perfect! Labor Day! Symbolic and also a
day when Dad's would be off work! She told me that they
usually get up to $1000.00 for conducting these
ceremonies, but that with our young family she wondered if
$300.00 would be too much? I assured her it would be fine.
For the same price as an unnecessary ultrasound I was
going to be blessed by the very pioneers of blessing way
who would perform the sweet ceremony for my husband
and I!
I spent the summer dreaming, planning and visualizing
how I wanted the celebration to go. Being a Christian, I
knew it would be important to have the Savior's spirit in
abundance at the party and I also knew that sacred hymns
and prayer would be the best way to invite his spirit. I also
A Lotus Birth
understood that the ceremony and the feelings attached to it

would be a potential pattern for how my birth would be and
was concerned about the "wrong" people attending. After a
few weeks of pondering on "who" to invite, I decided to
trust that whomever came was meant to be there and that I
should just invite everyone I knew.
I mailed out 95 invitations two weeks before the party.
I invited almost everyone I know in Colorado. I gave out an
additional 50 invitations to my church community the day
before the party. I sent quite a few invitations out of state to
various family and friends, knowing they would not be able
to attend, but hoping they would be with us in spirit. My
best friend Susanna wrote me the week before and
promised that she would be praying and with me in spirit
during the ceremony. I had planned and conducted a
blessing way for her four years ago, here in Colorado
before she moved to L.A. It was the first "baby shower" I
had ever attended where I felt the spirit of the Lord and
angels in attendance. I was hoping for something similar
with mine.
It was scary, exciting, and overwhelming thinking
who might attend, would there be enough food? Would
people judge me for not doing a traditional baby shower?
I let all of that go, and trusted that it would be perfect…and
it was!
The morning began with a shopping trip to get the
fruit, flowers and ice. Then I cleaned, napped, bathed, and
dressed for the party. Jeannine, Rico, and Halley came at
8:00AM and pitched right in and helped with food
preparation and loading the car. I will never forget Rico
washing grapes and strawberries at my kitchen sink while I
A Lotus Birth
baked muffins. It was just so homey and natural to have

these wonderful souls in my home! I showed them my herb
garden and my newly painted bedroom, which had
carefully been prepared for our new baby. Jeannine was so
complimentary of my efforts; it just made me feel good,
and nurtured.
We drove up to the park about 9:30 and set up all the
tables, chairs, and food. Then I prepared my alter with a
picture of Jesus, and a few meaningful things to me– a bag
of wheat grass, a jar of Kamut, Wheat, and Flax seeds, and
a sample cloth diaper. We had requested that no one bring
gifts, but rather donate to our cloth diaper fund. Our friends
gave generously and I was able to order all of the diapers
needed for this new little one last week!
Soon after ten AM friends started to arrive. We ended
up having four fathers attend in addition to Paul. I was so
pleased that they had taken the time to come. As each
family arrived I had a feeling again, of perfection. This was
my tribe, my family, our support, and the very souls we
were destined to bless the way with!

A Lotus Birth
Allison, Lori, Dylan and Shelly
UC birth pioneer Laura Kaplan Shanley
To invite the spirit of the Lord, I had asked my son

Jeff to offer the opening prayer, but he declined, feeling shy
in front of the group. Then I asked if anyone felt guided to
say the prayer, and my friend Nancy, a Doula, said that she
A Lotus Birth
would be honored and proceeded to offer a wonderful

prayer of thanksgiving and protection for our family as we
welcome our new baby.
Then Rico described how the blessing way came to be
practiced in our modern age, and Jeannine described the
purpose of passing around the yarn which we all wound
around our wrist's symbolizing community and unity and
support for our family. As we wound the string I sang the
opening hymn, acapella. I chose this hymn because I have
sung it so often the past year as I mourned the death of my
older brother. Dave's first child was born a few months
after his death and it was sweet to have my sister in law
Lori and her son Dylan at the party!
We sang this song at Dave's funeral, and it has brought
me much comfort this past year since his death– and it fit in
perfectly with the blessing way theme. Here are the lyrics.
Come thou Fount

Come thou fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing thy grace.
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above,
Praise the mount I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of thy redeeming love.
Here I raise to thee an alter,
Hither by thy help I'm come.
And I hope by thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
A Lotus Birth
Jesus sought me when a stranger,

Wandering from the fold of God.
He to rescue me from danger,
Interposed his precious blood.
Oh to grace, how great a debtor,
Daily I'm constrained to be.
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart, oh take and seal it
Seal it for thy courts above.
Here's my heart, oh take and seal it
Seal it for thy courts above.
While I sang Jeannine noted two hawks flying overhead,
gracing our party with their energy and spirit. As I finished
the song, we broke the strings and tied them to our wrists to
be a reminder to pray for the baby and the birth.

A Lotus Birth
Ceremonial grooming
Then Jeannine and Rico did the ceremonial grooming.

Letting down my hair, and noting coming wisdom
evidenced by my first gray hairs. Paul noted that he must be
very wise, as his head is covered in gray and we all
laughed. Then Rico massaged Paul's shoulders and
expressed to him his love and confidence in his abilities as
a husband and father/provider. Jeannine and Rico then
demonstrated their hand mudras individually and then
together facing us. The symbolic hand motions are
indicative of the life walk that we all make first as
individuals and then as part of a family. They are beautiful
to watch and touching to observe such intimacy performed
by a couple as much in love as Jeannine and Rico
obviously are.

A Lotus Birth
Then they anointed our feet with a bottle of Young

Living's Dream Catcher essential oil blend. I had used this
oil throughout the pregnancy and felt it would be
appropriate for the blessing way. As Jeannine massaged
and touched various reflex points in my feet, I felt a wave
of loving energy wash over my body and the baby started
to kick quite excitedly. Rico worked on Paul and as they
massaged I asked that my friends start going around the
circle telling who they were and how they knew our family.
This was the highlight of the party for me and I really
enjoyed hearing everyone tell how they had met our family
and what our relationship was. Many touching things were
said and I found myself tearing up as expressions of love
and acceptance were conveyed to Paul and I.
To finish the ceremony Paul and I sang a hymn
together with him accompanying on his guitar. We sang
Jesus, Lover of my soul.
Here are the lyrics….
Jesus, lover of my soul

Let me to thy bosom fly,
While the nearer water's roll,
While the tempest still is high.
Hide me oh, my savior hide,
Till the storm of life is past,
Safe into thy haven guide,
Oh receive my soul at last.
Other refuge have I none,
Hangs my helpless soul on thee.
Leave oh leave me not alone,
Still support and comfort me.
A Lotus Birth
All my trust in thee is stayed

All my help from thee I bring,
Cover my defenseless head,
With the shadow of thy wing.
As we finished the song, I had a feeling of love enter

into my heart, from the circle of friends that had gathered
and for my sweet lover and eternal companion, Paul. We
finished the party with a feast of fresh fruit, muffins, and
fruit juice and just visited and took pictures. Everyone was
gone by 12:30 and we gathered up all of our belongings
and went home. It was a beautiful and sacred moment in
time for my family, and me and I will never forget the love
conveyed and the happiness and joy that manifest during
the party.
I feel that from this moment until the baby arrives we
have been blessed, sanctified and set apart for the important
task of welcoming our child into our home. Coming as it
has after so much sorrow, warfare, and questioning of our
choices and beliefs has made the joy experienced that much
more intense for us

A Lotus Birth
Jenny, Amy and Rico
We have made the decision to hire a Doula to help

with my post partum care this time. Amy Thompson
specializes in the Ayurvedic Mother/Baby protocol of
massage, special post partum cooking and will care for me
for the six weeks following the birth. She is also a Reiki
Master Teacher, a Certified Yoga Instructor, Massage
Therapist, and graced our Blessing Way by attending. I am
confident this care will be the absolute best investment in
my health that we have ever made.
My prayer for all of our families is that as we walk
down this primal mothering path we will be patient and
loving as we learn new principles and truths and gradually
implement them into our family life, with the
understanding that it takes time to learn line upon line the
precepts that will strengthen and nourish our children. I
have a dream that by the time my children are grandparents
A Lotus Birth
these practices and this lifestyle will be firmly entrenched

into our world as an ideal way to live family life without all
of the distress for those of us who choose it. With the
humble understanding that each couple has to decide for
themselves which path will serve their children best.
The ultimate principle in all of this is LOVE.
Cherishing and accepting our little ones– and then
launching them on the paths that will hopefully lead to the
fulfillment of all their dreams!
While I am content to live and let live with those who
disagree with my views on birth, nurture, and education, I
feel passionate enough about holistic parenting to believe
that it will be the path that leads to the fulfillment of
Isaiah's prophecy in his 65th chapter of the Bible.
Lord knows the cult of death, destruction, and hurt
associated with the Chemical/Medical model of parenting
will NOT lead to this prophecy being fulfilled.
Remember, Isaiah saw our day….
"And I will rejoice in Jerusalem, and joy in my
people: and the voice of weeping shall be no
more heard in her, nor the voice of crying. There
shall be no more thence an infant of days, nor an
old man that hath not filled his days; for the child
shall die an hundred years old; but the sinner
being an hundred years old shall be accursed.
And they shall build houses, and inhabit them;
and they shall plant vineyards, and eat the fruit of
them. They shall not build and another inhabit;
they shall not plant and another eat; for as the
days of a tree are the days of my people, and
A Lotus Birth
mine elect shall long enjoy the work of their

hands. They shall not labour in vain, nor bring
forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the
blessed of the Lord, and their offspring with
them. And it shall come to pass, that before they
call, I will answer, and while they are yet
speaking, I will hear. The wolf and the lamb shall
feed together, and the lion shall eat straw like the
bullock; and dust shall be the serpent's meat.
They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy
mountain saith the Lord." -Isaiah the Prophet
Until the day when children are no longer killed, hurt, or
live a life of days, cry, weep, or are destroyed…..
Jenny's Journal, Entry 7

9/29/02
It is Sunday morning. I am sitting here eating a huge
plate of food left over from last night. Rice, broccoli,
onions, garlic, ground turkey, Monterey jack cheese, lots of
salt and olive oil, and my favorite, sweet potatoes, all
mixed together in a sumptuous feast that nourished me last
night and now again during this late morning snack.
Our society is so weird. My size is one of the reasons I
turned to unassisted childbirth. As in all aspects of my life,
I figure my body knows what it is doing when it balloons
up to 260 pounds as it has with all of my last three
nurslings. For the last two I was tandem nursing and

A Lotus Birth
producing upwards of a couple quarts of milk a day for my

hungry babes.
Jenny in Yoga Leotard 30 weeks pregnant
It has been a challenge for me to live in health

conscious Boulder Colorado while being a supposedly
"obese" mama. Even during my two and a half year hiatus
from pregnancy and nursing when I was practicing Yoga a
couple times a week, working out with weights and doing
A Lotus Birth
aerobics every week, I never dropped below 240 pounds,

even though I lost many inches on my body and everyone
said I looked fabulous.
Others assumed that I spent my days hidden in my
closet snarfing Oreos and ding-dongs. The most judgmental
were the various Yoga teachers I had contact with during
these years. Every time I would walk into Yoga class with
my big ol' bum hanging out of my plus size leotard, they
would look at me with such judgment in their beady little
protein deficient eyes. (Apologies to all Yoga teachers,
some I had were very kind to my plus size body).
Inevitably they would assume that I was a beginner, and
make some stupid comment about how amazed they were
that someone of my size could be so flexible.
They knew nothing about me, and the fact that I have
practiced since childhood and have a complete movement
background (musical theatre was my major in College). I
applied for a job at a local health club to teach a pregnancy
yoga class for couples, but when the manager of the club,
who had seemed very interested on the phone after reading
my resume and application, took a look at my body, you
know, that head to toe, hmmmm, it was all over in that first
moment. My defense mechanisms are very powerful and I
just walked out of that club saying to myself, "their loss".
At the beginning of this pregnancy I purchased the
Bikram's Pregnancy Yoga video off the web. For thirty
bucks I had a great workout to do in my own space without
anyone judging my body. At the beginning of my
pregnancy I had dreams of doing the workout every day,
but reality translated into me doing the complete tape about
once a week. It was a great way for me to nurture my mind
A Lotus Birth
and body, in the sanctity of my own home and without all

the "skinny moms" looking at me in disgust, as had been
my previous experience in other pregnancy yoga classes.
I started out this pregnancy weighing 265 pounds and
right now today I weigh 260 pounds. Each time I practiced
I would give myself a complete aromatherapy rub down,
drink lots of water and really get my muscles warmed up.
The baby loved the workout, and occasionally my older
kids would join in. These workouts combined with walking
and a little swimming have been the mainstay of my
exercise regime. I also practice yoga at night when I wake
up to pee, as it helps me get back to sleep if I do a few
postures during the night.
Jenny Practicing Bikrams Yoga during pregnancy

A Lotus Birth
I also rejoined the pregnancy exercise class I took with

my last pregnancy. The other moms who take this class are
mostly first time moms who are just starting their
pregnancy adventures. I have gone to extremes not to
advertise my lifestyle this time, with the help of my
wonderful teacher Leslie, who has known of my UC plans
since the beginning. Last week one of the ladies got right in
my face and asked me how I planned to birth, and I said "at
home…alone". Their was this stunned silence in the room
and then this gal said, "hey, to each his own" and changed
the subject. I thought that was really nice of her. I haven't
felt any negativity in the class since that night, more just a
sort of curiosity. So many of the moms in this class have
been induced in the last two months that I have been
attending, it has been heartbreaking. Two moms have had
five pound babies, and one who was told her child was four
pounds and needed to be induced because it wasn't gaining
good enough, gave birth to an almost seven pounder after
her induction. These medicos just can't seem to get it right.
It has been good to rub shoulders with other pregnant
women in a great class, taught by a really sweet woman.
Well, Paul just took the kids to church, so I have three
hours to myself. Before he left we started filling up the pool
on our deck and I put my current batch of wheat grass in
the sun. It is a beautiful fall day. I am almost 39 weeks. I
feel happy, excited, huge and very ready, but am prepared
for this pregnancy to go on for another six weeks if need
be. I'm off to take a wonderful sun-bath and dip in the
birthing pool!

A Lotus Birth
Jenny Hatch with daughters Michelle and Allison
Jenny's Journal Entry 8

10/12/02

A Lotus Birth
Today I am 40 weeks plus five days. I am waiting for

my massage therapist to show up and thought I would write
for a while.
My family is out running errands, and my ten year old
who was told to stay with me "in case I go into labor" is out
walking our dog. She is so sweet, my little Allison. She
made me breakfast in bed this morning. Toast– with lots of
butter and jam, fresh strawberries, Organic Yogurt, a bowl
of cottage cheese and a large glass of milk. We just put
together a vegetable beef stew for later in the day. Onions,
garlic, beef stew meat, four different kinds of potatoes,
adzuki beans, carrots, and my own broth concoction made
from Bragg’s liquid Aminos, oat straw tea, flax seeds,
potato peels, and all the peels from the onions/garlic. I let
the broth hard boil for twenty minutes, then poured it over
the vegetables and meat into a large covered crockery dish
and it will slow bake in the oven all day until we are ready
to chow.
It is cold today. If I have the gumption I’ll make some
bread, or maybe just some muffins or biscuits to eat with
the stew and that is our food for the day! Saturdays are
nice, we just eat and have no schedule and I will get a
massage!
My massage therapist, mentioned in another entry is
pregnant! Wendy told me a few weeks ago that she is
expecting and so we had our last session together and my
post partum Doula Amy has taken over the prenatals. Just
for giggles I added up how much Wendy cost me for the
nine months of her care. I had twelve sessions with her.
Most lasting 1 and 1/2 hours and all costing $70.00 –
(because she came to my home and set up her table here) -
A Lotus Birth
$850.00. Since she has been my main prenatal care, this is

quite a bargain compared to the money I could have spent
on medical care.
We have a $2500.00 deductable with an 80/20 co-pay
for our health insurance. So if I had done prenatal care
these past nine months, it would have cost at least $2500.00
dollars out of pocket, not to mention the additional co-pays
for tests, etc… We haven’t used our health insurance in a
few years for anything, and so had nothing paid on the
deductable. In a fit of concern in my 7th month, I did go to
my General Practitioner for a prenatal visit. It was during a
week of fear, when I wasn't sure if we could handle a UC. I
had a complete blood workup, a urine and blood pressure
check. Everything was normal. No anemia, no infections,
no high blood pressure (120/80) – no protein spills in my
urine. Two hundred bucks out of pocket for all the tests!
I knew in my heart everything was fine, but I wanted
to hear from my doctor that he would refuse care if we did
it alone. He confirmed that if I refused to have prenatals
with him, he would not be willing to "get out of bed" to
come help with my birth as he knew the only reason we
would be at the hospital would be if their were major
complications and he didn’t feel this was fair to him. I
agreed that it was a bit of a stretch for me to expect him to
come help with any problems if he had not been tuned in
ahead of time to any potential problems through "proper"
prenatal care. I just wasn't willing to spend the money for
what I perceived to be a bunch of useless tests and
procedures. I’d rather get a massage.
I do think it is pathetic that if we should need help I
will once again have to deal with the morons in the
A Lotus Birth
Emergency Room. Even my doctor agreed that it was a

terrible backup plan as these people rarely see childbirth
complications and really don’t know what they are doing.
Ultimately I believe my most effective "backup" is my faith
in the Savior, and I trust him to take care of me through any
problems or complications that may arise. I really don’t
know how it is going to go. I have a feeling that it will be
perfect, but I trust that should some unperceived problem
arise, we will be guided to know what to do.
Allison and I went shopping the other night. I know I
had this great intention to stay home for the whole time
before the birth, but on that day I was feeling so cooped up
and needing to get out, I decided to go. I told Paul that
morning that I felt the need to go somewhere, do
something, yet I didn’t want to see anyone I knew, and I
was concerned about giving birth out of my nest. Total
cabin fever. I have been cooking these great nutritious
meals, doing three major loads of dishes a day, laundry,
nesting cleaning (you know, under the fridge, scrubbing the
grout in the tub…stuff I never do), and taking lots of walks
and naps.
But on Thursday, I needed a change, so we went
shopping to a grocery store and Wal-Mart. We were gone
about three hours. It was great to fill up my cart with
wonderful fruits and vegetables from the recent harvest,
and search for bargains, and buy a treat. For me, a treat
means ice cream or chocolate donuts. I have had these
sugar pig-outs about once a month my whole pregnancy.
The rest of the time I do great on whole foods and fresh
vege juice and wheat grass and all my supplements, but
once in a while I feel the need for some major comfort
A Lotus Birth
foods and I just go with it. I ended up eating five milk

chocolate covered Entenmanns donuts over the next twelve
hours.
When we came home from the store, I watched the
new episode of E.R., the local news, and stayed up so late I
couldn’t get out of bed the next morning. (Just so you
know, these are all perceived "toxic" activities that I have
shunned during most of my pregnancy) Friday morning my
best friend from college called and we chatted for two
hours while the children watched TV and fought and ate
more donuts for breakfast.
This was a good experience for me. Sort of like a scientific
experiment. It is a great reminder why I don’t do this every
day! For the past two days, my nose has been running, my
glands are swollen, my left ear feels all liquidy, and my
emotional state is somewhat evil. I have ligament aches, the
baby has hardly moved at all, and a general scent of bad
BO is all around me.
As I feel this toxic mass moving through my gut, I feel
a determination to make it through the rest of my
pregnancy without the need to abuse my body with crap. I
don’t understand why I can’t just relax and do this lifestyle
without feeling like I am being a martyr. I LOVE how I
feel when I nourish my body the way it needs to be
nourished. I LOVE the sense of purpose I get from cooking
whole foods. I LOVE shutting down my brain to the fear
based thoughts that are ever present in the media. I LOVE
the sense of empowerment that I feel when I take charge of
everything that goes into my body, my brain, my psyche,
my energy system and my babies.

A Lotus Birth
Why this "need" for seeming "comfort"? There has

been nothing comforting in what I have felt the past two
days, except doing the opposite of what I have been doing.
I suppose we all need a change of pace once in a while, and
there is purpose in that. But I still wish I could settle in and
do it "right" every day of my life. Amy should be here any
minute, and I need to go get ready for the massage. So I
will say goodbye for now.
October 21, 2002

Why I STILL believe in the Bradley Method…
Paul and the boys (Jeff and Andy)

A Lotus Birth
Last night we had a "dress rehearsal". I awoke

yesterday morning (Sunday) with pretty heavy, short
contractions that did not stop no matter what I did. So I
putzed around the kitchen and made breakfast, and a
casserole for supper, then I went upstairs and for the first
time in this pregnancy saw some bloody show. I continued
to contract and have the pinkish show all day long, but my
contractions never went more than 35 to 40 seconds even
though they were coming every 3 to 4 minutes. Paul and I
pulled out our Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way book
and looked for the type of labor that has this sort of a
beginning. As we read and reminded ourselves how to time
contractions, when to get excited, and when not too, and
continued to deal with each contraction as it came, and they
were making me stop everything and notice them, I was
grateful for this wonderful book that has been my "bible"
for labor since I first discovered it 14 years ago, three
weeks before I gave birth for the first time.
We had taken a hospital based Lamaze class
(obedience class– Doris Haire's term), and as my due date
was quickly approaching, I felt this increasing sense of
unpreparedness. I prayed to know if there was more to
learn, which actually strikes me as being kind of funny
now, and I felt guided to go to a library across town where I
had a library card, but hadn't been to for years. As I perused
the birth books the titles "Husband coached childbirth" and
Natural Childbirth, the Bradley Way, caught my eye and I
picked up and borrowed both books. Luckily I didn't have
much to do those final three weeks before the birth, and I
read Dr. Bradley's book once and the Roseggs book three
times.
A Lotus Birth
Paul and I also practiced relaxation every night and he

listened as I read to him various parts that I felt were
relevant. I started my labor with a bloody show five days
before my daughter was pushed into the world. As we
contracted through those five days of gentle pre-labor, I
was grateful for all this time to practice the relaxation with
Paul. By the time I was in true labor we were functioning
like a well-oiled machine. He would gently touch my head
and say relax your forehead, and the rest of my body would
go limp as he looked for areas where I was holding in
tension, and gently massaged my back.
My mother also helped when she was at the hospital
with this back rub that felt so great I didn’t even feel the
need to ask for drugs. As I proceeded through transition
with this first baby, I experienced the emotional self-doubt
signpost so clearly articulated in the Bradley Materials.
This is the most fumbled part of many labors. The moment
when the mother looks at everyone and says, "I just can't do
it", is a sign that pushing is just around the corner and yet
most husbands and labor support are uneducated about this
phenomenon, typically interpret it as a sign that
drugs/procedures/epidural are needed pronto.
I am grateful that we were able to read about it, and
when I looked at my mother and Paul and said those
famous last words "I just can't do it anymore", having
completely forgotten their ever was something called the
self doubt sign post, they got right in my face and
cheerfully said, "you did it, pushing is just around the
corner" and it was! I honestly believe that if they had not
done that for me, my labor could have stalled with drug
administration, or I could have allowed myself to be pushed
A Lotus Birth
into "hurry up" procedures that I had effectively refused for

hours.
Shortly after this my doctor showed up and broke my
water without my permission… may he burn in hell for that
and yanking out my placenta… but other than that I had a
completely unhindered, drug free, spontaneous birth with a
slight tear and no episiotomy. The Bradley Method is/was
directly responsible for this.
We were so empowered by this experience that when
Michelle was nine months old, we attended the Bradley
teacher training and spent a year certifying. We then spent
eight years teaching the various couples who came to us.
As I interacted with those in the birthing community here in
Boulder, I felt varying degrees of hostility from nurses,
labor assistants, doulas, doctors, and couples themselves,
especially some women who hated the term "coach" that
we use in Bradley. As these critics would share their views
with me and say things like "birth is women's work" and
"women don't need anyone telling them how to birth" etc…
I just thought, "hey, to each his own".
I still don't understand the hostility that the method
brings up in people. All I can assume is that they have not
read the materials, taken the classes, or experienced a
Bradley birth for themselves. I love the fact that for my
three previous natural births (and the twenty hours at home
of my c-section) I had "trained" hands on my back. My
husband knows exactly how to massage my back to give
me perfect relief, and it is because of the Bradley Method.
He is also able to identify about where I am in labor based
on my "symptoms".

A Lotus Birth
With someone like me who has a tendency to "labor"

for weeks before the actual birth, this is crucial, as
unnecessary energy can be wasted during those last few
weeks if one becomes too excited or gets too involved in a
pre-labor moment.
During an unassisted birth, this is not such a big deal, as
you can just relax into the moment and not worry about
calling the midwives or trying to guess when would be the
best time to go to the hospital, and if it peters out, you go
on with life, as I have done today.
But if one is planning an assisted birth, it can be very
frustrating and downright dangerous to "call in the troops"
too early, as everyone is excited and these pre-labor
moments can be turned into an augmented situation,
especially in the hospital, Especially if a woman has
reached the 41 week milestone. (FYI – I am 42 weeks
today!) If a woman has a "pleaser" personality, as I used to
have, these pre-labor events can lead to many interventions
and her determination to force the baby out, no matter
what, because she may feel responsible to perform.
I remember watching a woman in labor shortly after I
had my c-section. I was in the hospital for four days and
watched this couple go through the process of labor and
birth. As I was attempting to walk as much as possible after
the surgery, I walked the halls with them a little bit. This
woman had short contractions coming every five minutes
and her husband was walking by her side holding a stop-
watch and a clipboard, timing her. She made a few
comments about how everything would stop if she stopped
walking. I thought about going up to her and telling her she
really wasn't in labor, as one of the basic tests of knowing if
A Lotus Birth
it is real is to change your activity and if things stop, it is

not real labor.
A few hours later the door to their room was closed,
and I have no idea what happened during those hours, but I
soon observed a nurse running down the hall with an
oxygen tank and later I saw the beautiful boy she had
delivered in the nursery hooked up to a breathing machine.
Almost a day after the birth the nurses wheeled her down to
the nursery and she tried to nurse her very sleepy son, while
I was nursing my daughter. She looked so tired and
thrashed I just felt bad for her. This experience remains a
visual in my mind of the dangers of showing up at the
hospital too soon.
My most extreme example of this in my own birthing
history happened during my third birth. I was approaching
the dreaded 42-week mark and my doctor wanted to do a
non stress test. For the sake of good communications and
keeping the peace, I agreed to do this, as well as an
ultrasound. While I was being monitored during that hour I
had the typical pre-labor contractions I had experienced
during most of my pregnancy. This was the first pregnancy
that I had nursed through and I am certain that extra nipple
stimulation from my little sucking leech Allison was the
cause of so much uterine activity. This was also my VBAC
pregnancy and birth and as my uterus stretched and grew I
was grateful my body knew to contract to help heal my
scars and aid in the growth of the muscles.
One of the nurses came into the room to check the
strip during my non-stress test. As she noticed the activity
of the contractions she said, "you are in labor". I said, "No,
these are the same contractions I have had all through my
A Lotus Birth
pregnancy." She spent several minutes trying to convince

me why I should check into the hospital that day, and that I
was most certainly in labor. I later found out that this nurse
was the head of the childbirth education department at our
local birth center. I was surprised that someone like her
who was attempting to teach couples about birth, was so
ignorant of what constituted real labor. The contractions I
had on that strip were coming every five minutes, but none
of them lasted for more than 40 seconds, I was able to chat
and laugh through them and I had no other signs of labor –
no bloody show, no dilation, no labor diarrhea, etc…
A few days later when I checked into the hospital for
the actual birth, after two days of sex induced labor, I was
dilated to a four and completely effaced. When I pondered
the two and a half DAYS of hard contractions that had
precipitated our decision to enter the hospital, labor that
would not let me sleep, labor that came steadily every four
to five minutes for hour after hour after hour of that birth,
and then was followed by an additional 15 hours in the
hospital– where I experienced a three hour transition, and
four hours of pushing before my non drugged VBAC boy
entered the world.
As I contemplated the nightmare that most likely
would have resulted had I entered the hospital too soon, I
was so grateful for our Bradley education which was so
effective in helping us decide "when" to go to the hospital
and for the gentle hands of my sweetheart who was my real
live walking talking epidural. Even now when I think of the
three-day massage Paul so readily provided during that
birth, I get emotional thinking about his work and his
effort. In Bradley we teach that a successful labor should
A Lotus Birth
leave the husband more tired and sore than his wife. This
was certainly the case with Jeff’s labor of Love.
During transition, which went on and on and on, and I
had to face so many demons in my mind: fear of c-section,
fear of psychosis, fear of depression, fear of what my
doctor thought of me as I had just fired her…all these
fears…Paul asked me what I wanted him to do, as I was
just standing in the shower crying. I asked, "Will you pray
with me and sing to me?" He said a prayer for us, and then
he started to sing primary songs. "I am a child of God, and
he has sent me here". As he sang to me during that darkest
of moments, I felt a spirit of light and love enter into my
heart and into the room. He sang for about an hour, gently,
sweetly, right into my ear, while the shower water beat on
my back and I cried. We still had five hours to go with that
birth, but that was the darkest moment and he "coached"
me through it without losing his head and getting lost in his
fear.
He quietly left the bathroom soon after this and when I
came out he was literally passed out on the floor. He had
been up for three nights straight– working just as hard as
me. I also went to my bed and fell asleep for an hour and
we were blessed with a nurse, who when she came in and
saw us asleep, quietly left. That birth was our VBAC
triumph and even though it was one of the most difficult
experiences of my life, we did it together and it made our
marriage stronger. Our Bradley training and background
was directly responsible for it being successful.
Before Paul and the kids went to church yesterday,
they filled up the birth pool in my bedroom and I took a
short nap, and then got into the water. As I went through
A Lotus Birth
the afternoon alone contracting, passing more bloody show,

and experienced the wonder of "is this it?" I was reminded
of all of my various labors. I spent the afternoon banishing
fear from my heart. A fear based thought would come into
my head and I would quickly run a scripture, the words of a
hymn, or a belief suggestion through my mind and the fear
would leave. As this happened about ten times I had this
continual back and forth of fear/faith…fear/faith.
When Paul arrived home at four PM everything picked
up and the contractions started coming every three to four
minutes, and they took all my concentration to deal with
them in the water. I stayed in the water for a total of five
hours, only leaving to poop and I got in the shower once.
As I experienced a very loose stool, and then passed my
mucous plug, I truly believed I was in real labor. I even had
a few contractions that lasted 50 to 60 seconds and even
felt a little pushy.
Paul was taking care of the children, putting supper on
the table, bringing me raspberry tea, checking in with me,
as I continued to contract. He came in at one point and
timed the length of the contractions, something I was not in
a place to do, for about an hour. He said, I don’t think this
is real labor, because even though they are coming so close
together, most of them are only 40 seconds. Soon after this
everything stopped.
We gathered the children together in the living room,
and discussed with them what had just happened, told them
a few memorable stories from their own births, and
although they were disappointed that the baby hadn't come
out, they were reassured that everything was "normal".
Then we had a sacred time together. Paul gave me a
A Lotus Birth
priesthood blessing, we sang two hymns together, The

Spirit of God and Choose the Right, and then Paul blessed
and gave me the sacrament. Our bishop at church had given
him permission to administer this sacred ordinance in our
home as long as I stayed home before and after the birth.
We then kneeled in a circle and said our family prayer
and it was so sweet to spend these few minutes together
reveling in the spirit that we had invited. We also talked to
the children about how sacred this time was, and asked
them for suggestions for what we could do to make our
home more spiritual and loving for our baby in these last
few days before the birth and after. We told them that
angels like to come to births and we wanted to be sure to
have our home ready to welcome these spiritual visitors.
We all went to bed about ten PM and I continued to
contract off and on throughout the night. At three thirty I
woke up and read for an hour, (reading Jane Austin’s Sense
and Sensibility– I LOVE her humor!) then made more tea
and my favorite labor drink based on a recipe by Adelle
Davis from her book, Let's Have Healthy Children. In the
chapter for an easier delivery, is the recipe for the nutrients
needed to make labor more comfortable. For this drink I
heated up two cups of whole milk to scalding hot, added in
about 1/2 cup of pure cream, then I added in 3 tablespoons
of mineral essence –a liquid mineral complex containing
essential oils and every mineral known to man, and about
four tablespoons of liquid calcium magnesium. This
wonderful vanilla flavored supplement is great tasting and a
natural pain reliever. I also took two Master Hers multi
vitamins and two Super Bs – b-complex supplements

A Lotus Birth
Over the past 24 hours I ingested this drink and the

supplements three times. The rest of the time I drank
raspberry tea with honey, and water with fresh lemons
squeezed in. I didn’t eat any solid foods for about 24 hours.
At four this morning I again went into an intense period
that lasted for a couple hours. As the contractions picked up
in speed and intensity, I again thought, I am in "real" labor.
I stayed in the birth pool, which Paul had mostly emptied
and refilled from the hose connected to our kitchen sink,
for about four hours.
As everything picked up and I felt more and more sure
I was soon going to be holding our child in my arms, I
loudly vocalized with each contraction. The children were
in and out of the room, curious to know if the baby was out,
and wanting breakfast, etc… Paul did his best to take care
of their needs and support me with drinks and more hot
water, then he feel asleep about 7AM. I chuckled to myself
how much this reminded me of Jeff's birth when he was
asleep on the floor of the hospital room, but I was glad that
we were home and he was resting in OUR bed. I waited for
a few more contractions to see if I would have transition
symptoms. I felt a little shaky and even squatted through
two contractions. Then I felt tired and all of a sudden I
woke with a start. It was 8AM and Paul was still asleep. I
was not having any contractions and decided to shower all
the pee that I had peed into the pool in the past four hours
off my body and my hair. When I came out of the shower,
Allison and Paul were sitting on the bed talking and they
just looked at me, like "did you have the baby in the
shower?" I said, "Everything stopped".

A Lotus Birth
I have spent the rest of today eating, napping and

doing a little housework. I decided to write this entry with
the hopes that those who are getting close to birth will have
a sense of what is normal in childbirth, rather than what has
been imposed on us by medical beliefs. It is completely
normal to have many periods of rhythmic steady
contractions that come every four to five minutes in the
WEEKS before a normal birth. I don't like the term "false
labor", as there was nothing false about what I experienced
the past twenty-four hours. Lots of things were happening.
I am opening up as evidenced by my bloody discharge and
mucous (have NOT done any vaginal exams though) and
my breasts feel heavier with all this hormone activity–
getting ready to nourish my child.
A few days before the birth

A Lotus Birth
This picture was taken about six hours before I went

into labor
Jenny and Paul the day of the birth

A Lotus Birth
I feel like my hips and pubic bone did some major

stretching, and we had a nice chance to "pretend" with the
kids by turning off the phone, talking with them about what
real natural childbirth is like, not talking to mom, or asking
questions while she is having a contraction, and my girls
really enjoyed making tea and massaging my feet. The
spiritual activities we enjoyed together last night will stay
with me forever, and I feel better about having a quiet,
quick birth alone in my bedroom or bathroom knowing that
the children (especially my girls) have experienced some
facets of natural labor ahead of time.
All in all I feel great. I am going to my exercise class in
about a half hour, and even though I am tired from lack of
sleep, I am determined that this child will not be born
before it is ready.
Announcing the Birth of Benjamin Johnson Hatch

A Lotus Birth
Three hours after birth

Born at home into his Daddy’s hands on
October 25th 2002
9 pounds 8 ounces
15 inch head (Yes I felt every inch as I was
pushing!)
My water broke at exercise class last Monday night
October 21st. Water leaked steadily for 72 hours.
My labor kicked in exactly 72 hours from when the
water broke, at 42 weeks 3 days on Thursday night. I
labored in the alternate Bradley pose in my bed with legs
A Lotus Birth
supported as five hours of the labor was all in my front

ligaments– which was comforting as I figured he was not
posterior. I was concerned that with little water and
posterior presentation, I would be in for a very painful
labor. I have never labored without the water, and it was
very difficult.
I felt transition contractions turn into pushing
contractions two hours before he was born. I stayed in my
semi supported position on my back, with legs pulled back,
to push. Paul helped by giving me a blessing, bringing hot
washcloths to put on perineum and he sang to hymns to me.
About an hour before the birth, I felt like I should
Squat next to the bed. I used my birth ball between
contractions, and had my first painful birth. As I pushed I
felt each millimeter of movement was a milestone. I will
described the pain as INTENSE and very dry– not like my
slippery baby in water bag births (remember I pushed out a
baby two pounds bigger in THREE contractions with no
real effort or pain). The pain was very new and real and I
had moments when I didn't think I could do it. Paul gave
me another blessing during this time and helped by rubbing
my back with deep counter pressure.
On the third to last push, I felt him rush down the birth
canal and crown, and the pain was overwhelming to my
body. Then Paul grabbed the bulb and as he presented,
sucked out his nose and mouth, then with the final
contraction I pushed him into his Dad's hands in a standing
squat, leaning over my bed, in about the exact same place
that I birth Andy six years ago.

A Lotus Birth
Paul with his baby!
He started to breathe right away, Paul and I were both

sobbing. I lay down on my bed and he started to nurse, I
passed the placenta in fifteen minutes, then I nursed for two
hours, while the children came in and we took tons of
pictures. Then I took a shower and we cleaned up the bed
and the baby and took a bunch more pictures.

A Lotus Birth

A Lotus Birth

A Lotus Birth

A Lotus Birth
One day old

A Lotus Birth
Two days old
We did not cut the cord and as of today– 72 hours later

it is still attached in a lotus birth. We have been amazed
and gratified by this experience and want to praise the Lord
for his goodness to us!

A Lotus Birth
Three hours after birth
I have been relearning the painful joys of post birth

contractions– which were worse than the labor– two days
of this– Paul gave me another blessing to help, and breast
pain, which is finally subsiding today, and all the hormonal
shifts, weepy for a day or two and have had very bad back
pain. But I did not tear my bottom as he birthed, and the
pain is quickly turning into joy as the moments pass.

A Lotus Birth
Two days after bith
After a c-section and three painless natural births, it

has been interesting to experience real pain– I don't know
that we would have wanted this birth on video as a
testimony to unassisted birth, people might run screaming.
But the Lord is good and has helped us with every pain
issue that has come up.
Love, Jenny
More Lotus photos:

A Lotus Birth
Andrew holding Ben

A Lotus Birth
Ben cried for the first time in the minutes after the cord
detached.

A Lotus Birth
Benjamin – A Lotus born baby!

A Lotus Birth
Jenny with my two massage therapists, Amy and Wendy –

one week after the birth
Jenny's Journal– three and a half weeks
On this beautiful Monday morning I feel like shouting
to anyone who is interested… "I AM FREE!!" The joy that
fills my heart is bursting to overflowing. Our living room is
a mess– the mix of bedding from Paul's nighttime nest (he
takes Benjamin for at least one sleep cycle a night so I can
get my dream sleep), school books, breakfast dishes and
cheerios on the floor, coats, shoes, socks, newspaper mess,
and the scent of pot pies burning in the over fill my nose
with overwhelming scent. I just asked Paul to take a picture
with the digital camera, for me to include with this post.
Nothing changed, just us, as we are at three and a half
weeks postpartum.
Hatch family at three and a half weeks

A Lotus Birth
I have been thinking all week about Heavenly Father.

With Christmas approaching and the reality of Christ's
simple birth displayed all over the Christian world in song,
theatre, movies, plays, and our yearly family tradition of
acting out the Christmas story on Christmas eve– Shelly
and Allison switch off who is Mary every other year and
Jeff and Andy generally play all the rest of the roles-
Joseph, shepherds, wise men, angels. In the past few years
we have used dolls to depict baby Jesus, but this year we
will have a live baby to enjoy during our nativity play.
I have been wondering if the Master of the Universe in
the form of our Heavenly Father was trying to send us a
subtle but clear message when he chose to send his only
begotten son into the world under the most humble of
circumstances. As I prepared for my birth by keeping
myself spotlessly clean and avoiding the infection I was so
concerned about because my water broke three days before
the birth– a few times as I obsessed about cleanliness, I was
forced to think of my sisters in other situations who give
birth under the most raw realities. Then I thought of Mary
laboring to birth the savior of the world in a barn
surrounded by the sights and smells of animals. With my
modern education, I wouldn't dream of birthing around an
animal, in fact I banished our dog from the upstairs
bedrooms during the final weeks of my pregnancy and
hardly let her see the baby until he was a few days old, out
of fear that the "dirty dog" who loves to eat other animals'
poop, might get my baby sick.
But I wonder if our heavenly parent was trying to send
us a message when he decided to let his child be born
A Lotus Birth
without a doctor, anesthetic machines, scissors, knives, and

a supposedly "sterile" environment. As GOD, he could
have provided the most lush situation for his son– perhaps
an older experienced mother, a palace with lots of servants,
midwives and doctors scurrying about to help Mary with
her birth. Instead he chose a woman who was little more
than a child in age, she was traveling, she and Joseph were
poor, and she ended up giving birth in the most humble
place.
My own mother had to nurse because of my parent's
poverty. I am so grateful mom and dad were in school and
broke when the babies started coming. Because my
beautiful mother had to nurse, a pattern was established that
continued for the remainder of her eight babies. We all
enjoyed the blessing of a mother who fed her babies
mother's milk, and her legacy continues today with her six
married children– all of my siblings have embraced natural
parenting to one degree or another– and all of my nieces
and nephews enjoy the love of parents who are gently
nurturing them and mothers who are home. This brings me
much joy.
I have had quite a few friends call and ask me if it is
true that Paul and I really gave birth all alone. In response
to one friend asking me why we decided to give birth alone
I said, "I can trust my husband to go the distance with me. I
know that he will not try to hurry things along because he
has a ball game that he wants to watch, or another
engagement planned. I know that he will not pull out a pair
of scissors and cut me because he is impatient, I know he
will not pull on my child's head or do things to try to hurry
me along."
A Lotus Birth
While I was birthing Ben, Paul pulled out a stack of

cloth diapers and some olive oil and helped me by bringing
me those diapers, well-soaked in hot water and the oil to
place on my bottom. I had no fear that he would abandon
me. He was concerned at my distress and a few times
asked, "what can I do?" One time I asked him to sing to
me, another time I asked him to rub my back, and towards
the end when the effort to push caused the sweat to pour off
my body like a flood, I asked him to turn on the ceiling fan
as I was so hot, then he pulled out a water bottle and
sprayed water all over my head and back to help me cool
down. He was the perfect birth attendant. And he was all I
needed.
I think I will finish this post by sharing the one scary
moment for me during the birthing process. During the
birth I had no fear. I had horrible pain, overwhelming
sensations in my back and my hips, and some fear that I
would tear as he crowned. But for me the scary moments
were right after the birth. Because of the way our last UC
went with everything quickly descending into chaos and
fear with baby not breathing and me bleeding my life away,
I had to face a few demons in these moments right after the
birth. The first fear was quickly overcome as Benjamin
sucked in his first big gulp of air within a second of being
fully born. As I laid down on the bed and latched him on to
my breast, the second fear of me hemorrhaging was starting
to be dealt with as I felt my uterus start to clamp down with
the effects of nursing. (FYI – I did NO fundal massage, I
didn't even touch my tummy after the birth). With one huge
contraction I felt my placenta plop down into my vagina
and I felt a little bit of fear, what if the placenta detaching
A Lotus Birth
meant more blood than we could handle alone? Paul lifted

up the blanket and looked at the placenta and said he could
not see any excess blood coming out. I was relieved, and
trusted that my continued nursing would take care of
things.
But all of a sudden I started to shake all over. I know
this is normal as I have had this reaction with most of my
babies– either from the physical effort, hormonal changes
or whatever, I knew that shaking was normal, but as we
were alone I felt fear creep into my heart. Then I became
very cold and thirsty. I was very pale and pictures taken at
this time show a general dusky look about my face.
Paul had already given me a few blessings during the labor
to help me with various issues, but it was this experience
that was the most profound. I felt myself overtaken with the
cold, shaking and fear. I asked Paul to give me another
blessing. As he did a warmth entered my belly that was so
real. I felt this warmth go into my limbs and up to my face.
As this warmth overtook me, I started crying. I don't know
what was happening in my body at that moment, but
Heavenly Father did, and he fixed it. Every time I
remember this moment, the feeling of freedom,
empowerment and excitement I feel for unassisted birth
grows. It makes me think of the wonderful statement from
Carol Balizet’s book Born in Zion in which she states,
"what if something went wrong and all I had to depend on
was GOD?"
As I thought of the blood/pitocin cycle I was thrust
into during my first birth, when the doctor yanked out my
placenta he caused a terrible bleed that was dealt with by a
few shots of pitocin in my leg- research has taught me that
A Lotus Birth
this can set up a situation in the mother where more

hormone is needed with each recurring birth to not only get
things started but to also clamp things down after the birth.
Check out this article if you want to read up on it. click
here- go to commentaries and hit pitocin for an interesting
insight into why pitocin creates a troubling situation for the
mother of a large family.
I would rather have a righteous priesthood holder, who
has faith in Jesus Christ, and utilizes his priesthood for
good rather than the most educated, credentialed birthing
professional on the planet. This is safety and it is what
provided me with PERFECT healing after my birth. No
doctor or midwife could have dealt with whatever was
happening in my body the way God did. His perfect grace
gave me an immediate healing, so much so that by the time
we were three hours from the birth, my cheeks were pink,
there was a glow in my eyes and I felt so good I stood up
and emptied my very full bladder with no pain, and then
took a shower with no dizziness, no excess blood loss and I
was able to enjoy our first night in relatively little pain–
that all came the next three days in the form of after birth
pains and sore nipples. I also want to add that Paul gave me
blessings again for both of the afterbirth contractions and
boob pain when they left me writhing in pain and tears.
All told I had about six priesthood blessings from my
lover and the Lord's perfect healing power entered into my
body and my heart and gave me relief in various and
sundry ways. I took no drugs at any point in the past ten
months, heck, I haven't taken any drugs in years. I used my
faith in the savior, coupled with my husband's priesthood to
bless my body.
A Lotus Birth
Paul and I were talking a few days after the birth, and
he said that while he was grateful everything went so well,
he wished their was some happy medium between medwife
and complete unassisted birthing. I told him that we had the
perfect medium in the form of our God, and I reminded him
of what happened right after the birth. Perhaps because he
didn't feel the miracle in his own body, he is not as aware
as me of how profound a healing that was for me. But it
was real and good, and I want to thank my Lord and Savior
in a public way for giving me every answer to every prayer
offered during this whole process.
I realized the other day that I was waiting for the other
shoe to drop. We have been so conditioned to "bad things"
happening around our births, I was sort of waiting for
something to happen to mar the beauty and perfection of
this experience. I went to church for the first time yesterday
and as I felt the loving acceptance and joy from my ward
family, I realized that part of this healing that has taken
place for Paul and I has been for our fellow travelers in
Christ to accept us and our lifestyle in a very real way. Not
once has anyone expressed rejection towards us and our
birth, just curiosity and joy. I have even felt a fierce
protectiveness from certain friends, which has been
amazing to feel. Especially since one of these friends is an
older lady who works as a social worker!!! She saw Ben's
cord all black and still attached at day three when she came
over to help out with home care, and was simply curious
about it, nothing weird. I shared a simple article on lotus
birth from the mother magazine with her and that was it!
Is it possible that our tragic adventures with parenting
are over and any more children we might bring into the
A Lotus Birth
world will just come gently and easily the way they were
meant too? It is a nice thing to think about, and
EXPERIENCE!
I hope to share other insights from our birth in the
coming weeks, I don't have time right now.
The Freedom to Fail and Thoughts on Death…
Journal entry 13 – Saturday December 21, 2002
Here we are at eight weeks post partum. Ben has been
a joy and we are anticipating happy Christmas and New
Year's celebrations. With the success of our beautiful
unassisted birth, I have been thinking much of past failures.
We have had many failures in our married life. We have
had blunders of misjudgment, looking beyond the mark,
and attempting to run faster than we had strength. A few
specific problems that come to mind are overwhelming
debt, a seven year old that had not been taught to read, who
was being persecuted by peers for her deficiencies, and of
course, our botched unassisted birth in 1996.
We have had some people criticize and judge us for
these failures and it has been difficult to bear the load of
shame and guilt, especially regarding those that pertain to
our children.
I would like to comment on failure….
It was Christmas time eight years ago when I traveled

home with Jeff to spend the holidays with my family. I had
just given Paul my ultimatum that if he wanted to have any
more children with me, we would be birthing at home and
alone. When I walked into my parent's home the tension

A Lotus Birth
around me was like a physical force. One of my brother's

had told my family that I had drawn a line in the sand about
birth with my husband and they had taken it as evidence
that I was going crazy again. Having suffered from post
partum psychosis after my first baby, I didn't have too
much credibility as a sane person and my family saw my
obsession with unschooling, not vaccinating, and unassisted
birth as evidence that I was going crazy again.
I remember talking with my siblings one afternoon
about these topics. We were sitting in my parent's living
room. Most of us were married with young children and
babies. As we talked, the conversation became heated as I
attempted to articulate what was in my heart to them. I had
not yet coined the term Family Sovereignty (go here), and I
was passionately trying to convey the jumble of ideas and
words that were rolling around in my head and on my
tongue about family freedom. My brother, who was in Law
school at the time, was expressing his dismay at the idea of
homeschool and the concept of un-schooling in particular
and said something along the lines of, "well, who is going
to hold these parents accountable if they fail? I mean, what
if their children grow up as illiterate, non-contributing
members of society?" As I tried to defend my supposedly
indefensible position and my own words were twisted and
used against me during our debate, I just gave up in
frustration with the words, "We parents are fed up with
being bullied into practices and procedures that we know
are harmful to our children, and we are just not going to
take it anymore."
I felt a condescending tolerance from my siblings as
we finished up the debate. Our parents had raised us to
A Lotus Birth
speak our minds and share opinions and insights in a

thoughtful and articulate way. Always respecting the views
of other's even if they seemed wacky. But at the end of this
conversation, I felt like I had poorly communicated what
was then rising up in my soul like a tidal wave of feeling. I
felt as if my family was laughing at me for my heartfelt
beliefs. But it went beyond laughter a few days later when
my parents told me they thought I should get my tubes tied
and not have any more children. My mother said she
believed that I had been brainwashed by Laura Shanley and
they were very concerned that I was going to ruin my
marriage.
No one seemed concerned about my marriage being
ruined if I had another hospital birth. No one seemed to
understand that the fully documented incompetence of the
public schools could potentially ruin my children
academically. No one seemed to care that my children
could be permanently damaged by being vaccinated.
This heated family debate was a turning point for me.
I looked inward and spent the next few years reading,
teaching childbirth, and formulating in my own mind the
"debate". To me, the heart of these issues was my brother's
question. "Who is going to hold these parent's accountable
if they fail, and if society has a bunch of illiterate, sickly,
unproductive, do-nothings to deal with who is going to
"FORCE" these non-conformist parents to conform to
societal standards of parenting in regards to birth, education
and health care?" Who indeed?
I have to laugh thinking of the medical profession, the
education establishment, and the governmental powers that
be judging me when they are accountable to NO ONE and
A Lotus Birth
who research has shown are controlled and manipulated by

the most powerful global companies on the earth.
Companies that live and prosper off the illiteracy, poverty,
ignorance, and ill health of families the world over. I have a
vested interest in the health and intelligence of my children
for they will be raising my grandchildren. I have yet to
meet the parent in my home birthing, home schooling
world who has the attitude, "I want to raise a bunch of
sickly idiots who have no ability to care for themselves and
have nothing to contribute to society." It just has not
happened. However, based upon my interactions with
various institutions, I am not so certain that others' interest
in my family goes much beyond the dollars attached to my
womb, my children, and my family being involved in their
money making scheme's.
The only way to break up the monopolies in health
care and education is for enlightened parents to simply
reject what they have to offer us and forge a different path.
I am nursing my sweet boy as I type this and as I look into
his crystal clear blue eyes, see his smiling face and think of
the daily work of nourishing, cleansing, and balancing my
body with nutrition, exercise, and vast amounts of spiritual
food in order to nourish him, I feel somewhat angry at
those professionals who would accuse me of being a
neglectful parent because I reject the overpriced birth
services and educational theories and practices they would
force/entice/coerce me to use.
Failure? I am less afraid of failure than I am of being
deprived of my right to fail.
In a free society WE MUST HAVE THE RIGHT TO
FAIL IN ORDER TO SUCEED!!!
A Lotus Birth
We cannot have it any other way. The law of

opposites is not a theory, it is not wishful thinking, it is
THE LAW that governs the universe.
I want to share a long passage from the Book of
Mormon because it is the absolute best articulation of this
truth that I have ever come across…
Lehi speaking to his son Jacob….
"For it must needs be that there is an opposition
in all things. If not so, my first born in the
wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to
pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor
misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all
things must needs be a compound in one;
wherefore, if it be one body it must needs remain
as dead, having no life neither death, nor
corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor
misery, neither sense nor insensibility.
Wherefore it must needs have been created for a
thing of naught; wherefore there would have been
no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore
this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God
and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and
the mercy, and the justice of God.
And if ye say there is no law, ye shall also say
there is no sin. If ye shall say there is no sin, ye
shall also say there is no righteousness. And if
there be no righteousness there be no happiness.
And if there be no righteousness nor happiness
there be no punishment nor misery. And if these
A Lotus Birth
things are not there is no God. And if there is no

God we are not, neither is the earth; for there
could have been no creation of things, neither to
act nor to be acted upon; wherefore, all things
must have vanished away.
And now my sons, I speak unto you these things
for your profit and learning; for there is a God,
and he hath created all things, both the heavens
and the earth, and all things that in them are, both
things to act and things to be acted upon.
And to bring about his eternal purposes in the end
of man, after he had created our first parents, and
the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and
in fine, all things which are created, it must needs
be that there was an opposition; even the
forbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life;
the one being sweet and the other bitter.
Wherefore the Lord God gave unto man that he
should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not
act for himself save it should be that he was
enticed by the one or the other.
And I lehi, according to the things which I have
read, must needs suppose that an angel of God,
according to that which is written, had fallen
from heaven; wherefore, he became a devil,
having sought that which was evil before God.

A Lotus Birth
And because he had fallen from heaven, and had

become miserable forever, he sought also the
misery of all mankind. Wherefore, he said unto
Eve, yea, even that old serpent who is the devil,
who is the father of all lies, wherefore he said:
Partake of the forbidden fruit, and ye shall not
die, but ye shall be as God, knowing good and
evil.
And After Adam and Eve had partaken of the
forbidden fruit they were driven out of the garden
of Eden to till the earth.
And they have brought forth children, yea, even
the family of all the earth.
And the days of the children of men were
prolonged, according to the will of God, that they
might repent while still in the flesh; wherefore,
their state became a state of probation, and their
time was lengthened, according to the
commandments which the Lord God gave unto
the children of men. For he gave commandment
that all men must repent; for he showed unto all
men that they were lost, because of the
transgression of their parents.
And now behold, if Adam had not transgressed
he would not have fallen, but he would have
remained in the Garden of Eden. And all things
which were created must have remained in the
same state in which they were after they were
A Lotus Birth
created; and they must have remained forever and

had no end.
And they would have had no children; wherefore
they would have remained in a state of
innocence, having no joy, for they knew no
misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.
But behold all things have been done in the
wisdom of him who knoweth all things.
ADAM FELL THAT MEN MIGHT BE; AND
MEN ARE THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE JOY!
And the Messiah cometh in the fullness of time,
that he may redeem the children of men from the
fall. And because that they are redeemed from the
fall they have become free forever, knowing good
from evil; to act for themselves and not to be
acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the
law at the great and last day, according to the
commandments which God hath given.
Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh;
and all things are given them which are expedient
unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and
eternal life through the great Mediator of all men,
or to choose captivity and death, according to the
captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh
that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
And now my sons, I would that ye should look to
that great Mediator, and hearken unto his great
A Lotus Birth
commandments; and be faithful unto his words,

and choose eternal life, according to the will of
his Holy Spirit;
And not choose eternal death, according to the
will of the flesh and the evil which is therein,
which giveth the spirit of the devil power to
captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may
reign over you in his own kingdom.
I have spoken these few words unto you all, my
sons, in the last days of my probation, and I have
chosen the good part, according to the words of
the prophet. And I have none other object save it
be the everlasting welfare of your souls. Amen."
2 Nephi 2:11-30
I believe we are here on the earth to learn to know
good from evil. The main way we learn to know the
difference is by our experiences in life. If we are forced to
only live the kind of life that the corporate powers that be
dictate is acceptable to them and the rest of society, they we
are living a lie, and are being compelled to live the
materialistic chemical lifestyle that makes lots of money for
those in power, but leaves the family deprived of ultimate
health, intelligence, and freedom, not to mention, financial
stability.
Death…ultimately in life, especially the sovereign life
that we have chosen to live, the greatest fear for parents is
the fear of death.
I had a year of death in 2001.
A Lotus Birth
Early that year a dear LDS friend died of a bacterial

infection after a miscarriage. She was the mother of five
home schooled children, was a LLL leader, and
homebirther. I can't tell you how rare it is for me to become
friends in my community with a Mormon mother who is
into this lifestyle. We met at our Friday homeschool
support group. Our friendship was immediate and I felt
such a kinship with Michelle. When she died, I was left
spinning emotionally. I could not understand why Heavenly
Father would allow this sweet and perfect mother to die so
needlessly when she had so many young children to
nurture.
I just saw her children last Friday at our Christmas
party. Her husband has continued to homeschool and work
from home- fortunately he had a computer job that enabled
him to stay home- and while the whole family still looks a
little sad, they are going on with life.
The summer after Michelle died three older ladies who
were suffering with cancer died. I was close to one of these
church friends and while the deaths were not unanticipated,
they were losses just the same.
At the end of the summer I received word that my
brother Dave had died. I was so dumbfounded and shocked
that he was gone that I went into an emotional tail spin that
only really stopped the month I conceived Ben last January.
Because of these five deaths last year I was forced to spend
many hours trying to settle things in my own mind about
life and death and the purpose of our time here on earth. I
don't have all the answers regarding death, but I do know
that a fear of death is the one great impediment to parents
claiming their sovereignty in regards to home birth.
A Lotus Birth
The question we all have to ask as we prepare to birth

alone at home is this, "Should we have the "failure"
experience of our child dying, or even dying ourselves as
mothers, does this mean that we have to throw all of these
ideals out like the proverbial baby with the bathwater? Or
in the name of "sovereignty" do we muster our faith and
take the leap that lands us safely into the world of
Freedom?"
We must have the right to fail. Fail at birth, fail at
breastfeeding, fail at educating, fail at anything and
everything we try….for if we don't we are nothing more
than slaves. Those are the thought in my head this beautiful
December day.
My Unassisted Birth Story

A Lotus Birth
Benjamin- one week old
I had many contractions during my pregnancy but five

days before Ben was born things changed, and I had some
contractions that came every five minutes that were really
hard and opened my cervix enough that I started to pass
some mucous plug with lots of bloody show. I was excited
and felt happy that after so many years of hoping for
another baby, my empty arms would soon be filled.
That afternoon my contractions picked up and I
thought I was in true labor. Physically they took all of my
energy. Emotionally I found that I had a battle on my
hands. The battle can be summed up as a type of spiritual
warfare. It was not just my battle. My husband Paul also
A Lotus Birth
experienced five days of his own fight. For him, the fears
swirled around his issues with the powers that be. We had
an unassisted birth six years before that resulted in a
transfer to the hospital.
The most critical post birth complications are Baby
not breathing and Mom bleeding. With this birth we had
both problems crop up, and decided to call 911 for
assistance. I am grateful for the help we had after our birth,
and for the learning that resulted from not having things go
well. Had everything gone perfectly, we would have missed
a great opportunity these past six years, the opportunity to
learn more. I did much research on bleeding issues and
Paul took an infant CPR class. These efforts comforted us
and helped us to feel more prepared this time around.
Even with these preparations and our deep religious faith,
the five days before Benjamin's birth was a time of trial.
Our faith in natural childbirth and unassisted birth in
particular was put to the test.
After the birth Paul said he thought those five days
were for him, to battle it out in his mind. To determine the
type of life we were going to live, and whether or not we
would cave to the pressure- mostly internal pressure (but
based upon a fearful reality) to conform to society and live
a mainstream life. Or if we were going to overcome our
fears of being labeled and/or prosecuted as "medical
neglecters" by doctors and social workers and live the life
we have felt guided to with home birth, home school and
what I term "Family Sovereignty" as the ideal for our
family.
Happily our battle resulted in a perfect outcome on all
levels; emotionally, spiritually, and even though I had a
A Lotus Birth
difficult time physically– I was much more concerned

about the long term affects of this birth on my psyche, my
marriage, and my relationships than I was on the short term
physical pain.
I hope my insights will be helpful to those of you who
are preparing for an unassisted birth. We must understand
that Laura Shanley is right, and it is our beliefs as mothers
that largely affect our birth outcomes. Our husbands and
families beliefs also deeply affect us, as well as anyone else
we decide to invite into our home to assist us with the
labor.
Because I can't control how others feel about birth and
only have control over my own mind, I was drawn to
unassisted birth as a means of SAFELY welcoming my
children without having to deal with other people's fears. I
felt this negativity during my three hospital births,
especially from the medical people around me. I studied
Quantum Mechanics in college and didn't understand why
these so called scientists hadn't embraced these same truths
in their physics classes. But perhaps their obstetrical
educations had deprived them of the truth surrounding
belief.
If I learned nothing else during my first solo birth, I
learned that birth for me was easy, unhindered, and smooth
when I was alone. (I called Paul up to help me during
Andy's birth in 1996 only after I had pushed out his head).
On Sunday night, October 20th 2002, my contractions
completely stopped and we enjoyed a quiet spiritual
evening with our older children. We talked to them about
birth and told them stories from their own labors that
illustrated the true nature of natural childbirth with its many
A Lotus Birth
stops and starts. We sang and prayed together and all went
to bed excited, but willing to wait.
The next day, I again had a long period of pre-labor
that lasted for hours. I passed more mucous plug and felt
the contractions really getting strong. It had been a full
moon that night and I enjoyed watching the moon go down
out of my west facing bedroom window as I contracted in
the birth pool during the early morning hours of Monday. I
heard the children start to wake up and felt things slow
down and then I fell asleep in the water. When I woke up
everything had stopped.
That day I went about my normal routine but Paul
decided to work from home. He ended up working from
home all week. This was one of the happiest weeks we
have ever had. We decided to let the children take the week
off from schoolwork and spent hours playing at the park,
walking, and cooking/eating together. On Monday night I
walked to my exercise class and as soon as I sat down on
my mat, my water broke. It was all over my pants and the
mat, and I decided to go home. Once home, I again felt
excitement/nervousness that my baby would mostly likely
come soon. None of my previous labors had started with
the water breaking and so this was new for us.
I was surprised how much fluid spilled out of me over
the next 72 hours. It was a lightly tinged green color and
smelled alive, like a fresh rain on autumn leaves. I noticed
that each time I ate, drank, or walked the fluid came out in
a gush. I used cloth diapers to catch it and was really
surprised that my body could leak so much without going
into labor. I mourned the loss of my water birth. With the
membranes ruptured and water leaking all over the place I
A Lotus Birth
knew it would not be wise to get into the pool. I really

focused on staying well hydrated, nourished, upbeat, and
rested. I also asked my doula to come give me a few
massages and bring me wheat grass juice. I used the juice
to help keep my blood clean, hematocrit up, and to nourish
the baby.
My daughters gave me a raindrop therapy each of
those three days. (If you want to order the raindrop therapy
kit go to www.youngliving.us and use my member number
29526 to get this fabulous aromatherapy kit!) This is an
essential oil treatment that is an overall boost to the body. I
did it to help prevent infection and to give me energy. We
made the decision not to tell anyone that my water had
broken. We told the kids, but asked them not to share the
news, and they didn't.
I had a few contractions but nothing regular for the
three days my water was broken and that was a blessing as
the uterine activity of Sunday had really tired me out. I took
lots of naps and spent most of my emotional energy
working on my thoughts, keeping them pure. It was very
powerful for me to run the lyrics to some of my favorite
songs through my mind. I will share the words from one of
these songs. The music helped me to stay focused on my
child and not get lost in fear, the greatest of which was the
fear of a prolapsed cord.
Paper Dream - Reprise 2 (From the musical

Saturday's Warrior)
I take some paper in my hand, and with a pencil draw a
man,
The dream of what I'd really, really like to be.
A Lotus Birth
A man with courage in his brow, whose licked his doubts

and fears somehow,
A Warrior of great nobility.
But who am I? Just a wandering kid, a cipher on the wall,
Not even brave at all.
And where's my dream like his that I would fight for?
And where's my cause like his that I would die for?
But still the paper's in my hand and every day I sketch the
man,
The dream of what I'd really like to be.
A man with courage in his brow, whose licked his doubts
and fears somehow.
A Warrior of great nobility.
A brave and noble fiery youth, who's not afraid to die for
truth
Whose tall and straight but best of all he's free,
He's free.
I ran the words to this song through my mind a

hundred times over those three days, and each time they
gave me strength and courage.
I also sang hymns, quoted myself scripture and belief
suggestions and realized that during this time it was crucial
that I stay mindful of my thoughts every waking moment.
Each time the fear would come into my heart: fear of
infection, fear that I would never go into labor, fear of
prolapsed cord, and fear of someone learning that my water
had broken and might try to convince me or force me to be
induced, I would just switch the negative thoughts to
positive and run the words through my mind, usually the
words to the above quoted song. A few times I went down
A Lotus Birth
to my piano and played the music of this song, and each

time I started to cry as I thought of my warrior son who
was soon to be born. It was a comfort to me to cook and
clean and stay focused on my housework as a way to
distract myself from the reality of the situation. (Two full
weeks overdue and water broken) The day before I went
into labor I found myself cleaning under my stove and
scrubbing it all over. I thought about deep cleaning my
oven, but I decided to save that task for another day.
The day I went into labor was just a normal day. I
went for a walk, had a massage, tended my nephew and
cooked and cleaned. We took a few pictures and my
visiting teachers stopped by. About 5PM I came downstairs
to make a milk shake with calcium/magnesium and
minerals and then I decided to check my emails. I was
writing to my friend Veronika Robinson when contractions
really picked up. As I typed out my email to her, I told her I
thought I might be going into real labor, and once finished I
headed upstairs to my bed. I laid down in a semi-reclining
position with lots of pillows supporting my back, my arms
and legs. I contracted for two hours with little noise, but as
things picked up in intensity, I started to vocalize loudly.
As the contraction would start I would start a low
moan that gradually became a loud AHHHHHHHHH! This
very effectively moved all of the energy in my uterus up
out of my body through my mouth and made it so I was
able to handle the first five hours of this six hour labor very
effectively on my own.
Paul and the children were in and out of the room a
few times asking me if I thought this was really it, I was in
my own space and was rather vague about my progression.
A Lotus Birth
Paul did bring me a couple of hot, wet cloth diapers to

place on my bottom and I used my oils: Gentle baby, Valor,
Panaway, and Myrrh to help my body stretch and prepare.
At one point I was all alone, as Paul had fallen asleep in the
children's room on the floor while reading them stories, and
one by one they also fell asleep. I used the toilet a few
times to keep my bladder empty but always returned to my
position on my back on the bed. At one point I sang the
song "When You Believe" from the Prince of Egypt out
loud. I had chosen this song to be the theme song of the
Unassisted Childbirth movement back in 1998. The words
are perfect, powerful and were a great strength to me as I
approached transition. I was battling a fear that one of the
reasons I bled so bad with my last birth was because I had
squatted during pushing, and so I was determined to push
the baby out on my bed in the semi reclining position. I
continued to gush amniotic fluid during the labor and
focused on staying well hydrated with a water bottle by my
side.
During transition, which only lasted a few minutes, the
contractions were one on top of the other and I was VERY
loud with my vocalizing. Paul woke up during this time and
came in and asked me how things were going. He wanted
to know if he could do anything to help and I asked him to
sing me hymns. So he sat down on my rocking chair and
pulled out the hymnbook and started singing. He sang for
the first hour of my pushing. I cannot emphasize enough
how powerful an activity this was. It had the combined
effect of inviting the spirit of the Lord into our home and
calming my spirit. Paul sang "When Faith Endures", which

A Lotus Birth
was the hymn that I had chosen to be the theme of our 2001
Unassisted Childbirth conference….
I will not doubt, I will not fear. God's love and

strength are always near.
His promised gift helps me to find, and inner strength and
peace of mind.
I give the father willingly, my trust, my prayers, humility.
His spirit guides, his love assures that fear departs when
faith endures.
I was starting to get tired after an hour of pushing on

the bed, and I prayed and asked God which position would
be best for me to effectively push the baby out. I felt that I
should stand and squat during my contractions. In prayer I
expressed my fear of bleeding and I felt a calm assurance
that I would not bleed too much. So I stood up. As the next
contraction came on I squatted down deeply by my bed and
pushed! I felt the baby inch slowly down with each push. In
between contractions I sat on my birthing ball and rested.
As his head moved down, I felt an increasing pain in
my back, hips and pelvis. I have had three painless vaginal
births and so this was new for me. I have determined that
the difference was pushing with the water bag intact
compared to not having much water gushing along with
that fifteen inch head. It was like birthing a brick. As his
head worked it's way down I felt so much pain I wondered
if I could do it. Never did I even consider going to the
hospital or using drugs, but I did have a few moments of
self doubt, wondering how big the baby was, and what if it
was breech or posterior? I continued to have the fear of a
A Lotus Birth
prolapsed cord and as this fear worked in me, I just felt

determined to get my child born.
I pushed with everything I had using the Bradley
technique of breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out and
then deep breath in… put chin on chest, hold breath and
PUSH!! It was very effective combined with the full squat.
During the last few contractions I felt this heat overtake my
body and sweat was just pouring off me. I asked Paul to
turn on the ceiling fan and then he poured water all over my
head and back. I told him to put some panaway on my back
and he tossed about 30 drops of it all over my back and
hips. Then he rubbed my lower back during the
contractions in a very effective counter pressure. It didn't
take the pain away, but it did make it possible for me to do
it.
On the third to last contraction I felt Ben's head all of
a sudden move in a big way through the birth canal and I
reached down and felt his head crowning. I was concerned
about tearing, and thought about asking for a hot compress,
but decided I wanted Paul behind me ready to catch rather
than in the bathroom getting me a cloth. Paul pulled out the
bulb syringe and prepared himself.
With the second to last contraction I pushed out his
head, and then with the final out came his body. These
contractions were closer together and he was born quickly
from the time he crowned. Paul sucked out his nose and
mouth before he was completely born and then caught him.
As he passed Ben to me through my legs I turned to look at
him and saw him leaping for joy. I have heard of many men
fainting in the delivery room, or having a fear of fainting
while their wives give birth, but I have never heard of a
A Lotus Birth
father jumping for JOY when the baby is safely born. Paul
did and it is my favorite memory of the birth.
I passed the placenta within fifteen minutes with a
large plop, and then bled a little. We used prayer and
blessings during this time to help with my pain and various
post birth symptoms. The children started to wake up, and
one by one they came into our bedroom. We took many
pictures and had a joyful three hours bonding with our 9
and 1/2 pound boy. Then the children all went back to bed
and Paul and I fell asleep on our bed with Benjamin nestled
on his chest.After our wedding day, this day was the
happiest, most fulfilling day of our life!
Laura Shanley, my friend and mentor, came to visit a

few days after the birth
Final Entry for Birth Journal
A Lotus Birth
January 15, 2003

Today I finished up my post partum work with Amy.
She has come now since the week of my birth to work as
my Doula. Her care was the traditional care of India
developed by Martha Oakes, who worked as my doula with
my last baby. I hired Amy early in my pregnancy to do this
important work.
I mentioned early in this journal that I experienced a
post partum psychosis after my first birth in 1988. The very
month we conceived Ben in January of 2002 was the month
that the media was skewering Rusty Yates as being the
cause of his wife's post partum psychosis. Some in the
media claimed him not changing the babies diaper's caused
his wife to go psychotic and kill all five of their children.
Paul and I heard quite a few allegations of why this
mother went crazy, and to us, all of those reasons were
bogus.
Women go crazy because they have been molested
and raped. Women go crazy because they have experienced
birth torture and watched their babies be poked, prodded,
and cut. Women go crazy because they don't get enough
sleep. Women go crazy because they have too many
demands on their bodies and minds and cannot keep them
balanced. Women go crazy because they are afraid. Women
go crazy because they don't have proper understanding of
their true needs post partum. And women in our society are
at risk because of the perfectionism we all have to deal with
on a daily basis.
The guy on TV who claimed that the reason Andrea
went crazy was because she gave birth without epidurals, or
the psychiatrist who claimed that Andrea would not be a
A Lotus Birth
threat to society as long as she kept on her medications and

didn't have any more children. I personally believe the
many drugs she was on contributed to her psychosis. And
who knows what triggers and stressors were working away
in her mind?
With all the talk in the media, the concern for us as a
couple was that with my previous history of psychosis, and
all of the extra trauma and stress of memories of being
sexually assaulted coming into my head, that I was a prime
candidate for a post partum incident. I believe the numbers
are one women out of a thousand experiences a post partum
psychosis, but once a woman has had one, the numbers go
to 1 out of 6. For many women those statistics are just too
frightening and so they opt not to have babies.
I detail quite a bit about my recovery from psychosis
in my book A Mother's Journey, my story of healing after
Post Partum Psychosis.
All I can say is that for Paul and I everything was
heightened for this birth and this baby. It was really a "do
or die trying" time for us. I hired Amy perhaps with a bit of
fear and trepidation as my motivation knowing that the
aryuveda mother/baby program has as one of its goals the
prevention of post partum psychosis.
However, I believe all women should have this care. It
is difficult for me to share the details of this care even now,
because I know that so many women need it, and deserve
it, but do not have the financial means to get it. I know one
of my big frustrations over the years was knowing I could
do a certain thing for myself to make me healthier, but I
was continually frustrated because I didn't feel like I had

A Lotus Birth
the money or more importantly, the support of my husband

to get what I needed.
I want to share what this care entailed and what it
meant to me, in the hopes that every women can strive to
create this sort of a post partum for herself, because
ultimately it will be her baby that benefits the most from it,
and the family at large.
I am deeply concerned that as the unassisted birthing
movement really revs up, women will get the impression
that having children is no big deal, "see all those UC moms
on the internet dropping babies every day with no help" and
they will not understand or be prepared for the realities of
life with a small baby. No matter how well your birth goes,
how empowered you feel by it, it is an amazing outlay of
energy caring for a newborn. As I type this I hope I can do
it justice after my night of being woke up four times to
nurse Ben, and my day of homeschool and caring for my
family. I am so exhausted at times I just cry. But I am
determined to write this final piece for this journal "in the
moment" because I want to write it remembering clearly
how it feels.
Amy came and gave me five massages the week of the
birth. She gave me a massage a few hours before I went
into labor and was back at my house nine hours after the
birth to work on my tired body. She gave a ninety minute
massage each time she came and if my calculations are
correct she gave me 35 massages over the past 13 weeks
The five weeks after the birth she brought me hot food
every day except sat and sun. All vegetarian fare and very
easy to digest. I will give recipes for two of my favorite
things:
A Lotus Birth
Cooked Cereal
Boil 4 C. Water with
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp Flax Seeds
Add in 1/2 cup cracked cereal (any kind will do)
Lower heat and let cook for 1/2 hour
Add in 1 tbs butter and sweetener of choice
Mother's Milk
Boil 2 1/2 C Water with
2 Cinnamon sticks
4 Cardamon pods
1 tsp Nutmeg
4 Cloves
2 tsp ginger or fresh diced ginger
5 Peppercorns
Hard boil for 10 minutes
Add 4 1/2 cups milk
1 tsp Tumeric
Bring to a boil, then turn off heat
Add sweetener – honey, sugar, maple syrup etc…
Ben is crying so I must go nurse.

(later)
He is asleep now, but I am determined to have this

finished within the hour so I can get back to bed. So I will
not edit it twelve times as I am used to doing. Sorry if it
ends up being a little wacky, but I am tired!
Points I want to make…..
A Lotus Birth
1. Anyone who has had a friend give birth who is from

India, is sometimes amazed when that woman's mother
shows up to help after the birth, with a maid or two to help
out and they end up staying for three months. I have heard
of several women in America who had this type of care.
We in the "new" countries of the US and Canada are often
amazed and intrigued with this level of care and seemingly
overkill. Generations back in our family histories, we heard
stories of great grandma who lived on the farm and birthed
14 children and worked every day of her life on the farm,
and breastfed and cooked and cleaned for all those children,
and never was sick a day in her life…. all these legends
floating around. Or the stories of women working in the
field who just drop a baby, tie it to her back, and goes on
working.
These are interesting stories, but not grounded in
reality. A new mother's body is just as delicate as her
newborn, and during the initial six weeks post partum, a
sacred window of opportunity opens up for each woman
after each birth, where if she is cared for and nurtured and
enabled to heal with nourishing foods and massage, a great
rejuvenation can take place. But if she is not able to get this
type of care, the opposite can happen and the body can age
faster, become more depleted, and most men perceive the
beginning of the end of their marriage as occurring
sometime in the post partum period.
2. Post partum care is the black hole of women's health

care. There is an infastructure in place to help women when
they crash and burn and it largely amounts to drugs,
A Lotus Birth
electroshock, and warehousing in a mental hospital of the

crazed woman, but there is not much else out there, and
prevention is almost unheard of in our society.
3. Correct understanding of the true needs of women post

partum will revolutionize our society.
4. Women themselves will have to be the ones to get this

care as no one in the medical profession has any incentive
to implement it, as there is no money in prevention.
5. As we learn how to care for ourselves properly with

nutrition, rest, and massage, we will go from just surviving
our post partum's to truly thriving during them.
The differences I have felt this time around with the
care are:
No breast infections, a very happy, healthy baby who
has not even had the sniffles even though everyone around
us in our community is sick.
I am tired and I cry sometimes, but I do not have that
out of control emotional state that really freaks my husband
out.
I have not been psychotic.
I have not been manic.
I have not been depressed although I have had
memories of being raped come up during the massages. I
just looked at the memories and noticed them and then they
were gone.
With all of my post partum periods I have had feelings
of wanting to hurt my babies. When that fatigue kicks in,
and I am so tired at night there have been times when I felt
A Lotus Birth
a desire to just toss them out the window. The fact that all
of my children lived through that new baby time is
evidence that I never acted on those thoughts. But the
mothering world and the Oprah audience were done a great
disservice when on her post partum psychosis show Oprah
made the case that women who had those homicidal
thoughts were psychotic and needed psychiatric care. I
would say that almost ALL women I have talked to over
the years in a heart to heart fashion who have shared with
me their struggles during that sleep deprived time have
claimed that they had moments of wanting to hurt the baby.
True psychosis is differentiated by a complete break with
reality, In which the mother does not know she is crazy,
and it generally takes on a religious tone, whether or not the
women is religious. I was saddened to think how many
women may have run to the psyche profession to have their
heads shrunk after watching that show simply because
during the overwhelm of new mothering they struggled
with those thoughts.
Before I had Benjamin, I believed that the struggle I
had with my thoughts, particularly after my last unassisted
birth, which was overwhelming homicidal thoughts
towards my son Andrew, was largely because he was taken
away from me right after the birth and I was not able to
breastfeed and bond with him for 28 hours. Imagine my
surprise when after my empowered beautiful homebirth
with Ben, after a couple weeks with little sleep and still
recovering from the birth I had a thought of wanting to
drop him. I started to cry when this thought came into my
head, mostly because my theory was smashed to bits. It was
then that I decided that no matter how your birth goes, and
A Lotus Birth
no matter how much help you have post partum, sleep

deprivation and the demands of mothering can bring those
thoughts into your head. I shared with Amy my struggles
and it helped to confide in someone during that time. Since
that week I have had those thoughts off and on and I use
them as a stress barometer to let me know that I am doing
too much and need to rest and eat and sleep. Ben is a
happy, healthy boy, but I am one tired mom and my prayer
in sharing this information with whoever is reading is
simply to encourage you also to be smart in how you live
your post partum months.
Imagine a world where we all had three months after
the birth where our wonderfully educated family and
friends and our "village" all came to our home for three
months to bring us food, nourishing massage, and cared for
our older children. For three months all we had to do was
stay in bed and nurse our babies. I had this intention before
the birth, but by the third week I was back at church, I was
in the grocery store by the fourth week, by the fifth week I
was doing school and laundry and trying to make sense of
my kitchen. Even then I felt like I had been totally
pampered and babied and felt guilty for all the money I
spent and the friends who knew what I was doing with the
doula care, while supportive, didn't seem to express any
kind of a desire to have that care for themselves.
One of the things Martha Oakes taught me as we
socialized during my fourth pregnancy was that in all of her
research of post partum healing, not just in India but in
cultures the world over, their was a surprising similarity of
care. Massage, oily foods, heat, watery overcooked foods
that were easy to digest, lots of digestive herbs, rest, and
A Lotus Birth
lots of time for recovery. The thing is, people in indigenous

cultures knew that if the mother did not get her proper care,
the baby would most likely not make it, as breastfeeding
was a do or die experience. No formula manufacturer was
waiting in the wings to back the mother up. Oh, perhaps a
nice woman in the village would take over the care of the
baby if the mother had a breastfeeding failure, but extreme
efforts were put out to ensure that the mother could nurse
her own baby. This is also detailed in Weston Price's book
Nutrition and Physical Degeneration.
If we are going to do this primal mothering all the
way, my challenge to those of you who are feeling called to
live this lifestyle, is to do it all the way. Don't just survive
motherhood, thrive with it. I feel sad that it took us five
babies to get to the point in our marriage where we were
willing to create this space for me to heal. We implemented
some of the principles with each of our babies, and as the
years have clicked by, each healing experience after birth
has gotten better than the last. I hope and pray that by the
time I have my next baby I am able to work through
whatever impediments are in my mind now and grasp my
whole three months after the birth as my time to fully back
away and heal. I did three weeks and for me that was big,
but I just couldn't seem to overcome the things in my mind
this time to allow myself that space. It is not even three
months and I am completely immersed back into my life.
I pray that my granddaughters will know and
implement these things with their babies. I want to be ready
to teach and help them make it real. I believe healing the
post partum time for families will cause a great shift in our
society towards healing.
A Lotus Birth
***This was the final entry in my Birthlove journal. I

decided to add a little more information to this book to give
a little bit more information on placenta and cord care.
Benjamin’s cord stayed attached for six days. During

that time we felt it was very important to keep him in my
bedroom, wrapped up with his placenta. Every time I
changed his diaper, I changed the diaper on the placenta. It
was no problem to keep it wrapped up with him in a
receiving blanket. The weather was cold and the placenta
was easily kept in place when I swaddled him up in the
blanket. I put the placenta by his lower back.
Once I picked him up from the bed and the placenta
fell out of the blanket and was hanging by the cord. I
thought for sure it would break, or cause Ben pain, but I
quickly caught it and put it back in the blanket, with no
upset, and it did not come off for a few more days.
For navel care, I carefully washed around the cord on
Ben’s tummy with gentle soap and a cotton cloth. Then I
would put a few drops of Frankincense on the belly button
and work it in with a cotton swab. This helped to keep any
discharged cleansed and encouraged the drying up process.
The placenta continued to drain over the six days, and
I found myself sniffing it often while I nursed or just held
the baby. I loved the scent- it was so hormonal and earthy.
It gave me a calm feeling during the six days after the birth
to sniff it and just relax. I continued to put salt and
essential oils on the placenta as I changed the diapers.
A few times my older children or my husband would
complain about the scent of the placenta, but I just told
A Lotus Birth
them we were not going to cut him away until it fell off
naturally. The complaints were mostly lighthearted joking,
but I could tell they were getting annoyed with having to be
so conscious of the placenta when they picked up Ben. I
feel this is one of the most important reasons to leave the
cord attached. The whole family is forced to treat the baby
more gently, and more carefully with the placenta to think
of, and it encourages the family to be aware of the true
needs of the baby.
I had a friend from church come over when Ben was three
days old to help my children get ready for church. She
came up to my bedroom while I was in the bathroom and
saw Allison reading Ben a story with the cord hanging out
of the blanket. I had been concerned about anyone seeing
the cord, or coming into my bedroom without me being
able to cover it up, but as she came while I was in the
bathroom, I didn’t have time to do damage control. She
asked Allison what that black thing was coming out of the
blanket and Ally said it was his cord. She didn’t say
anything to me except “hi” and went downstairs to make
the children breakfast. Fortunately I had a copy of The
Mother Magazine in my bedroom, which had the excellent
article written by Sarah Buckley on Lotus Birth. It
contained pictures and had a wonderful text that was a nice
description of lotus birthing. I asked Allison to take the
magazine down to my friend and let her read the article.
She told me later that she appreciated reading the
article, as it helped her to understand what we were doing.
I recommend anyone planning a lotus to have something
like this on hand to share with curious family and friends, it
was a real help during a vulnerable time. I didn’t have too
A Lotus Birth
many friends over during those six days, and most knew of
the Lotus, but this one friend is more main stream and also
works for social services, and so I was a little concerned
about her take on things.
As the time drew near for the cord to fall off, I could
see that it was literally hanging by a thread that final day.
Ben was enjoying a newborn massage and caught his foot
on the cord and was kicking his legs really fast. I thought
for sure that would cause the cord to break, but it stayed
connected for a few more hours. Later in the day, I was
getting ready to change him when I noticed that it had
detached. I called out to the family that Ben’s cord was off
and everyone came running to see. We all were talking and
laughing and it was a joyous occasion. Everyone wanted to
hold him without the cord attached and I asked Paul to take
the placenta and put it in a Ziploc baggie in the freezer until
I could do something with it.
Before I put it in the freezer, I cut a two inch piece of
the placenta off with a knife and put it in a bottle of
essential oils. It was the same bottle of Dream Catcher
blend from Young Living that Jeannine had anointed my
feet with at my blessing way. I shoved the piece into the
bottle, and sniff it occasionally when I feel weepy or sad.
Once Paul tried to put some dream catcher on, and realized
the placenta piece was in the bottle and he was upset to
have that scent on him – it is very strong. But I just leave it
in the bottle as my own medicine – powerful hormones to
help me when I am sad.
The feelings of loss that come to a mother once she
gives birth, and watches her baby quickly grow and change
are so horrible, any help is good to manage those feelings.
A Lotus Birth
That womb scent from the placenta is a perfect

antidote to the feelings of pain and loss most women feel
upon giving birth. Breastfeeding also helps the mother
with these feelings of sadness at being separated.
I have felt these same feelings of loss as my children
reach various milestones in life. It goes way too fast, this
time while they are little. As the days click by more and
more quickly, the sense of wanting to make time stop, just
for a minute, and embracing the sweet and happy times we
share is so real, so important. Then life revs up again, and
before we know it they are grown, and don’t need us as
much.
A few weeks after the birth, I dug a hole in a large
planter that holds a lovely rose bush given to me on
Mothers day from my husband. It has blossomed just
beautifully this season, and I am enjoying the roses right
now as I type. I love thinking of my little dried up bit of
life, giving life and nutrients to my roses. It makes me feel
happy knowing that my placenta is serving my family and
my life, rather than being sold to a cosmetic company.
I love that my child received every bit of the cord
blood he deserved, rather than having half or a third of it
kept in the placenta and cord and cut away from him to be
used for some other purpose. Every drop that he extracted
from that cord, or that dried up into the little bit of essence
served a purpose for our family, for our life and made the
circle of Benjamin’s conception, birth, and Lotus birth
complete.
I pray that every family has the opportunity to
experience a Lotus Birth. It is a beautiful and sacred
practice that keeps the family quiet during a time when
A Lotus Birth
quiet and peace are healing and encourages the mother to

bond more intently with her child.
Jenny and Benjamin, first feeding – seconds after the birth

A Lotus Birth
Portrait of Ben by my dearest friend Susanna – go to her

web site www.ecomother.com to get your own baby
portrait drawn!

A Lotus Birth
Hatch Family during Ben’s pregnancy

A Lotus Birth
Logo of the Husband/Wife Homebirth movement!
www.naturalfamilyco.com
A Lotus Birth
Thanks for reading my birth journl.

For more great stories, quotes and
wisdom, become a member of the
birthlove community on line at
www.birthlove.com
Love,
Jenny
Benjamin 2 months old


A Lotus Birth: By, Jenny Hatch

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

A Lotus Birth: By, Jenny Hatch

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

A Lotus Birth: By, Jenny Hatch

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

A Lotus Birth

www.naturalfamilyco.com “Healthy Families Make A Healthy World!”

Jenny at 24 weeks pregnant

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 1

Jenny's Pregnancy Journal, Entry 1

Birth History in a nutshell:

1st – Michelle – 8lb 9 oz - Natural "Bradley" birth No

2nd – Allison 1992 – 8lbs - First attempted UC – C-section

3rd – Jeffrey 1994 - 8 lb 14 oz – Natural "Bradley" VBAC

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 2

4th – Andrew 1996 -11lb 12 oz – UC at home after doing

5th – 1998 - Early miscarriage - 8 weeks

6th – 1999 - Early miscarriage - 8 weeks

7th currently expecting – 40 week marker is October 4th –

First journal entry –

When you cut my body, you damage my soul….

For the past year I have felt Benjamin around me. He

off and on for the previous five months. I asked my

excited. We had been through so much darkness together, it

"false alarm". As my body progressed to late first stage

have been amazed at the various fear-based thoughts that

good, in faith believing that ye shall receive,

Jenny's Pregnancy Journal, Entry 2

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 9

Paul and Jenny Hatch

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 10

she shows up with her table, ready to work on my tired

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 11

It has been interesting discussing birth with her as she has

Wendy, giving me a prenatal massage in my bedroom a few

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 12

Wow, a half hour with nothing planned. I guess I will

have known several women who have been diagnosed with

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 14

After the birth, which was a successful Natural

birth outcomes than the huge factory hospitals where

educating themselves and others to be able to stand up to

eye and tell me I had beautiful children while we sat on the

me who my doctor is, I am often tempted to tell them

Jenny's Journal, Entry 3: Sacred Friendships

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 19

My beautiful friend Susanna the day her fifth baby was

Have you ever had a relationship with someone and

When I met Susanna at church eight years ago, she

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 21

capitalize on the beauty of our marriages rather than getting

time for Father to figure out "who" will be deserving of

I have asked these interesting questions of faith and belief

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 24

sleep deprived mothers in Colorado obsessed with the

that pain is so great, the body has to shut down in order to

I know that Susanna was given to me as a sacred gift in

Jenny's Journal, Entry 4- Give us this day our daily

our family with me at 30 weeks

It has been a month since I have posted an entry. I find

schedule, diet, and sleep, and I would like nothing more

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 29

the days we don’t do school), I made up hot cracked Kamut

A Lotus Birth Jenny Marie Hatch PhD MH 30