Self-Management, Self-Regulation, and EQ

While it’s commonly accepted that our emotions are driven by impulses over
which we have little-to-no control, we do have the capacity for self-
management and self-regulation; the ability to manage – if not control – the
resultant emotions and our reactions thereto.
Consider the calm and rational pilot despite the aircraft’s landing gear being
jammed or the surgeon who carries on with their duties despite losing a
patient.

This form of self-regulation builds on the basis of self-awareness and is an

integral part of becoming emotionally intelligent by exercising the capacity to
liberate ourselves from impulse-driven reaction (Goleman, 1995).
Self-management builds on this further and allows an individual to use
knowledge about their emotions to better manage them in order to self-
motivate and to create positive social interactions.
Leaders with an aptitude for self-regulation are far less likely to be
aggressively confrontational and make snap decisions. Self-regulation and
self-management do not pertain to the absence of anger; rather it’s about
remaining in control of your emotions and not allowing your actions to be
emotion-driven. In instances of negative emotions such as anger, EI can help
identify what you are feeling and determine the cause of the emotion through
reflection and self-analysis allowing one to respond in a rational manner.
Self-regulation is critical in relation to other facets of EI and can be developed
from early childhood, adolescence and throughout adulthood. Mastering self-
management allows us the opportunity to open the door to the other beneficial
aspects of EI while in the absence of self-regulation other competencies, such
as effective communication and conflict management, are challenging.

The good news is that it’s never too late to embark on self-management and
regulation training; the potential benefits are numerous and should not be
underestimated.
The skills enabled through the development of self-regulation can aid success
for (but by no means limited to) counselors, psychotherapists, small business
owners, managers, and executives.

Those with stronger skills in this area are less likely to become angry or
exhibit stress while being more likely to respond calmly to negative
environments, harness personal needs in order to achieve goals and remain
motivated.
Is There a Link Between EI and Job Performance?
The increasing awareness of emotional intelligence in management-focused
literature and leadership training suggests the link between emotional
intelligence and job performance not only exists but has value in myriad
areas.

The workplace represents a distinct social community, separate from our

personal lives, in which there is a growing appreciation that higher EI allows a
person to understand themselves and others better, communicate more
effectively, and cope with challenging situations.

Utilizing and developing emotional intelligence in the workplace can

significantly improve the personal and social capabilities of individuals within
that workplace.

EI is about managing emotions in order to improve job performance and, in

turn, helping people stay calm and to think logically in order to establish good
relationships and achieve goals. There is an undeniable relationship between
EI and the way senior executives manage their employees – managers with
higher emotional intelligence have the tools at their disposal to not only
manage stress but to also recognize and address stress in others.

If we think of emotional intelligence in terms of managing stress and

building relationships, the link between emotional intelligence skills and job
performance is clear, with stress management positively impacting job
commitment and satisfaction.
It is also important to mention that EI does not only apply at management
level, likewise, employees lower down the business hierarchy with
sophisticated emotional intelligence skills have the desire and ability to
establish and maintain high-quality relationships in the workplace (Lopes,
Salovey, & Straus, 2003).

Additionally, individuals with high EI are better equipped to effectively manage

conflicts and, in turn, sustain relationships within the workplace when
compared to those with low to moderate levels of EI.

Increasingly, organizations are recognizing the value of employees who

exhibit the skills to cope with change and respond accordingly. EI is an
important factor in job performance both on an individual level and a group
level. In fact, as an individual moves up an organizational hierarchy, the
positive effect of emotional intelligence on coping with situations and doing
tasks in effective ways increases (Moghadam, Tehrani & Amin, 2011).

How about Emotional Intelligence and Motivation?

Emotional intelligence matters for motivation, and motivation matters for
success. Whether it’s in relation to work, personal goals or health, the
emotionally intelligent individual understands the deeper meaning of their
aspirations and the self-motivation skills required to achieve them. Goleman
(1995) identified four elements that make up motivation: our personal drive to
improve, our commitment to the goals we set for ourselves, our readiness to
act on opportunities that present themselves to us and our resilience.
Magnano et al (2016) assert that motivation is the basic psychological process
we use to stimulate ourselves into action to achieve a desired outcome.
Whether it’s picking up the remote to change the TV channel or dedicating
hundreds of hours to delivering a project, without motivation we’d be unable to
act.

Motivation arouses, energizes, directs and sustains behavior and

performance. Intrinsic motivation, that is, motivation that comes from within,
pushes us to achieve our full potential. An Emotionally Intelligent individual not
only possesses the skills for self-motivation but also the skills required to
motivate others, a useful talent to have especially in management positions.

While self-motivation is central to achieving one’s goals, emotionally intelligent

leaders within a business can also impact employee motivation. The capacity
to recognize the emotions and, in turn, the concerns of others is an invaluable
skill to have at your disposal in terms of realizing the most effective ways to
motivate teams and individuals.
In a recent study, the EI levels of first-year medical undergraduates were
found to be positively related to self-motivation to study medicine and
satisfaction with choosing to study medicine (Edussuriya, Marambe,
Tennakoon, Rathnayake, Premaratne, Ubhayasiri, & Wickramasinghe, 2018).

A study of senior managers with high EI employed in public sector

organizations found that EI augments positive work attitudes, altruistic
behavior, and work outcomes. It seems, unsurprisingly, that happyemployees
are motivated employees.
The ability to better cope with stress and anxiety, for example, is also a useful
EI tool in terms of motivation – if one can recognize the emotions that may
have a negative impact on motivation, they can be addressed and managed
effectively (Carmeli, 2003).

Using Emotional Intelligence to Deal With Stress

We all endure stressful days, it’s completely normal and completely
manageable if you have the right skills at your disposal. An individual with
high Emotional Intelligence has sufficient self-awareness to recognize negative
feelings and respond accordingly to prevent escalation. Uncontrolled and
misunderstood emotions can exacerbate our vulnerability to other mental
health issues, like stress, anxiety, and depression.
The skills associated with emotional intelligence can effectively help
individuals deal with negative emotional states like stress and promote
more positive emotions in its place. Failure to address and manage stress can
lead to a further deterioration of one’s mental state and impact our physical
health in turn.
Research into the social, psychological and medical components of stress
emphasizes the importance of dealing with negative emotions to effectively
cope with stress and in turn, reduce the potential for negative psychological
and physical health outcomes.

Ganster & Schaubroeck (1991) consider our working and professional

environment as the primary source of the stress, going on to suggest the
ability to effectively recognize and deal with emotions and emotional
information in the workplace is a vital tool in preventing negative stress and
coping with occupational stress.

Emotional intelligence allows us to effectively cope with stress. Furthermore,

emotionally intelligent people also have the ability to initially evaluate
situations as less stressful.

While this has the obvious effect of lessening the adverse impact thereof, it
also results in greater life satisfaction and happiness. Conversely, a deficit in
EI and self‐regulation can lead to lower subjective well‐being and a relatively
exaggerated response to stressors.

The intelligent use of emotions is a fundamental mechanism in psychological

adaptation and well‐being. Individuals with higher EI have been found to
report lower levels of stress and higher levels of happiness, indicating that the
ability to regulate perceived stress directly impacts satisfaction (Ruiz‐Aranda,
Extremera & Pineda‐Galán, 2014). The role of emotional intelligence in
perceiving occupational stress and preventing employees of human services
from negative health outcomes is essential (Oginska-Bulk, 2005).
The ability to effectively manage emotions and emotional information
increases our ability to cope with a wide range of emotionally challenging
scenarios.

Linking EI and Decision-Making

Emotional Intelligence is closely related to personal and professional
development, it impacts on more than how we manage our behavior and
navigate social complexities, it also affects how we make decisions.

Having an authentic understanding of the emotions we feel and why we are

feeling them can have a huge impact on our decision-making abilities, if we
can’t look at our emotions objectively how can we avoid making misguided
decisions based on them?

Superior emotional intelligence is an important element in the prevention of

decision making based on emotional biases, whereas lower EI can create
anxiety and lead to poor decisions. It’s not about removing emotions
completely from the decision-making process, rather it’s about recognizing the
emotions that are unrelated to the problem and not allowing them to be
influential to the final result.

Negative emotions can impede problem-solving and decision making both in

the workplace and personal circumstances. The ability to recognize emotions
that are superfluous to forming a rational decision and having the capacity to
effectively disregard said emotions, negating their impact on the final
outcome, holds obvious benefits for decision-making processes.

Through a series of questions and observations with a focus on improving EI

awareness and using EI skills to enhance the decision-making process, Hess
& Bacigalupo (2011) found that organizations and individuals benefitted from
the practical application of EI in decision-making scenarios. The observations
suggest EI training is an effective strategy to introduce when developing
decision-making skills and aids in understanding the potential consequences
of bad decision making.
Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions allows an individual
to both manage the feeling and make an objective decision. Imagine you have
a disagreement with your partner and go to work angry and a little stressed
out, later that day you dismiss a proposal from a colleague without really
paying attention to what they’re suggesting – you’re just not in the mood.

This form of emotional interference can be detrimental to the decision-making

process, those with more developed EI can identify and manage this kind of
emotional interference and avoid emotionally-driven decisions.

Can Emotional Intelligence and Success Be Related?

Much like happiness, ask someone to define success and you will probably get
more than one answer. Does your career make you successful? Your
intelligence? How much money you have? Finding contentment and
happiness? Depending on who you ask, it can be anything!
What is clear is that no matter your definition of success, emotional
intelligence can play a vital role in achieving it.

As addressed, it isn’t always the most intelligent people who achieve the
greatest success. IQ alone is not enough to excel in life. You can be the most
intelligent person in the room, but if you don’t have EI do you have the skills to
quieten negative thoughts or the mental fortitude to manage stress? Goleman
(1995) described EI as being powerful and, at times, more powerful than IQ in
predicting success in life.

It’s your Emotional Intelligence that really helps you achieve your goals and
attain greater levels of success, developing EI can greatly influence our
success by contributing to increased morale, motivation and greater co-
operation (Strickland, 2000).

In the workplace, managers who consistently outperform their peers not only
have technical knowledge and experience, but more importantly, they utilize
the strategies associated with EI to manage conflict, reduce stress and as a
result, improve their success.

There is growing evidence that the range of abilities that constitute what is
now commonly known as ’emotional intelligence’ play a key role in
determining success – both in one’s personal life and in the workplace – with
real-life applications extending to parenting, relationships, businesses,
medical professionals, service workers and so many more.

Emotional intelligence enables one to manage emotions in anxiety-provoking

situations, such as taking exams at school or university and also has positive
associations with success in personal relationships and social functioning.

Success within social relationships can be achieved by using EI competencies

to detect others’ emotional states, adopt others’ perspectives, enhance
communication, and regulate behavior.
How can emotional intelligence be an advantage in the workplace?
In the workplace, emotional intelligence can help build better relationships and make
things run more smoothly. For example, if you have to request some work from a
colleague whom you suspect is feeling down or overwhelmed, how and when you make
the request should be different than it would be if you thought that they were in ‘a good
place’. If you are a manager who has to introduce a significant change, your awareness
of how people react to change might inform how you choose to approach it. If you have
to persuade a client to take a course of action about which they have doubts,
understanding what makes them tick is likely to improve your chances of success.

Emotional intelligence is a vital component of other key skills, including:

 interpersonal and communication skills

 teamwork and relationship-building
 influencing skills
 leadership
 customer service or client management skills.
Your emotional intelligence could even improve your own work performance: for
instance, if you realise that you are feeling stressed, you could take steps to relieve the
cause or (depending on your job) rearrange your day to leave more complicated or
arduous tasks to a better time. This in turn could improve your productivity. As such,
emotional intelligence allows you to strengthen your inner resilience.

As teamwork becomes increasingly important in the workplace, people who are able to understand and
get along with others will become ever more sought after. Highly emotionally intelligent people have
well-developed people skills that let them build relationships with a diverse range of people across many
cultures and backgrounds. That’s an asset in an increasingly globalized workplace.