Letter For Myself
Letter For Myself
Letter For Myself
This has to stop. I am sorry for not knowing any better. I am sorry that I kept settling down for people who
never valued me. I am sorry, for not giving you what you deserve, for not knowing your worth.
I was confuse and fucked for the longest time, I was literally trying to convince myself I am doing a lot
better. But to be honest, I wasn’t doing so well. These past few months was full of soul searching, getting
lost, getting up, learning, moving on, and ending up crashing again and again vice versa. It was all a cycle.
Sometimes I question myself if am I even getting better? Because honestly, it’s easy to disregard and
forget your progress and how far you’ve come up to this very moment.
One day, I look back and appreciate everything, and yet most of times I don’t.
To be honest, right now. I don’t really understand what I would want to feel. Like literally.
If I would really be brutally honest, I was soooo fucked up for this past few months. After the last time
March 22, 2019 Up until April a lot has happened. I graduated SHS, chapter has ended, and yet another
world awaits. College.
Nothing is more disappointing and painful discovering that what you believe in is wrong all along. It’s hard
to accept the truth. But we shouldn’t stop ourselves from learning and comprising to change. We
shouldn’t fear
Having to fight, invest and defend something for so long, only to realize you were wrong all along. It hurts,
but we shouldn’t be afraid to change our minds in the process; that’s how we learn. If we don’t
compromise we will never grow.
I am not saying, I am any better this very moment. I understand that I may have encounter some few
lapses and mistakes along the process. But I know this is the first step to changing my life to be the best
version of myself.
Acknowledging all the mistakes I made in the past disgust, shame, and disappoints me so much. I
sometimes I wish I did things differently. But I realized that without these mistakes, I wouldn’t be the
person that I am today. The good, bad and specially the worst all contributed to everything I am right now.
All I can say is that, I know myself better now. The triggers, her likes, what kind of person I am, what I am
capable of etc. I could be a total blessing to someone, and at the same time a very toxic pill to somebody.
I am adventurous, I am actually driven by curiosity every damn time. Like my “curiosity” will be a potential
death of me to be honest. I won’t stop till I know and experience something myself. I am seriously a very
competitive person. Its scary how I far I could go.